STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A REASON TO END A RELATIONSHIP?
Hello Stella,
Hello Stella,
I'm having a stress in my relationship of recent. I have a girlfriend who normally prefer spending evening in my place after work because she prefers the serenity of my place.
Last week Tuesday I bought new set of electronics cos the previous ones are becoming outdated cos I bought them 7years ago. My girl as usual came to my place that evening and saw them,instead of being happy and excited,to my surprise she started complaining that since we spent time together the day before that I should have informed her of my plans.
To say I was shocked was an understatement. Since then she's been giving me attitude, if I call her she will be talking to me as if I'm stalking her.
Here is my concern if I eventually marry this girl does that mean if I see something that I like or feel the need to change something in my house,it will result to problem?. While I was growing up my dad normally buy things like electronics, furniture etc to surprise us and we really cherished those moments and my mom usually celebrated it with food and drinks. I don't want any form of wahala in my life,have always wanted to marry a free spirited girl.
I have decided to let the relationship die a natural death but I want your intake Stella and other ladies in this blog so that nobody will say I did evil to her.
*Why dont you confront her and find out why she reacted that way?if you try to reach out and she is still giving you attitude then you are OK to want to walk away.........Maybe her attitude is trying to say something to you that you need to find out.....
The two of una no get problem....
ReplyDeleteYou do not read these chronicles, just comment. Even a robot can't read and type these in one minute.
DeleteShe doesn't want to be just a girlfriend, indirectly telling you she wants to be part of your life and knows about all your plans. Left to you to decide if you want to marry her.
DeleteNa Wa!
DeletePoster, in as much as you both are childish, You don't love this girl as she does you. Why don't you communicate a plan as big as that to her. Your type will pack bag before telling your wife you are travelling. You should change, unless she doesn't encourage you to go higher in life, you should carry her along with your plans if you are looking for something serious with her.
DeleteUncle, it may not even be able the electronics persay, that may just have been the icing on the cake that tipped the whole thing.
DeleteMaybe she asked you for money or an urgent need came up and you told her you are broke, so seeing those electronics she may feel maybe you don't value her needs and only think about yourself. Nothing wrong in buying electronics pls, but I advice you pay her a visit. Speak to her calmly, that you have noticed she is cold, what is the issue ?
Don't just end a relationship without knowing the reason or finding closure.
Its just like some time ago,a friend of mine was broke and looking for balance for her house-rent, her fiancé saw how desperate she was, even trying to get a loan from her sister. She had paid rent, just balance for service charge infact. This guy behaved deaf and dumb, carried himself and went to New-York for xmas. That thing dented the relationship becos she felt if they get married is this how he wont bat an eye-lid when she's in serious need.
So poster have a talk with her.
Maybe she feels if you consider her important you will discuss things with her. So now she feels you don’t think she is important.
DeleteSimply explain to her what you wrote up there. That is how your father did it, it made you all happy so you are continuing a family tradition.
I can bet you with my blokos that if the guy had bought a gift for the said girl without first informing her...she will accept the gift and won't complain. That girl is a scum.
DeleteAnonymous 15:30 God bless you cos you wrote my mind, she is not a bad person, we women are wired differently. She feels by you not telling her you wanted to buy them maybe you are not taking her as a part of you. I am saying this cos i totally relate to her feelings as i can equally be like her. If i am in a relationship i feel important when you carry me along, it makes me feel important, and like useful to you when you tell me baby i want to buy a house, come lets go pick one than i have bought a house, i want to change the electronics i need you to come with me to the show room see joy i feel like a wifey in the making than baby i just bought this TV, baby can you think of a curtain design, lets go do this and that. It makes me feel like i am included in your future plans. In short ask for my opinion. Not that we don't love surprises we do but sometimes it makes you feel excluded especially when you love that person and you want to spend your life with then. Truth is that she feels excluded that's all and not that that she is a bad person. Just talk it over.
DeleteMiss Ess does not read before commenting it's the truth. How many times u don see her give beta reply,if no be una no get problem, you go dey alright last last, it is well etc
DeleteOne million likes for your comment. Men and their over sabi attitude.
DeleteOne million likes for your comment. Men and their over sabi attitude.
DeleteMost of them are like that and i don't know why?
DeleteOne of my brother's ex and this present 1 are like that, always wanting you 2 gift them and when you afford one for yourself, the whole community will be aware that you got something new for yourself.
Unku, she won't changed one bit, since she's giving you attitude, you can as well reciprocate that.
Bed and roses you just resonated my mind
Deleteanon 15:30 and flamboyant bv are both right. she felt excluded.you should just talk to her.
DeleteWait. So if I step in2 my man's house and find something new ill go on an anger spree. Madness don swallow this one. She should be happy 4 him abi d 1960 electronics dey sweet her 4 body. I sha dont get d reasons 4 her behaviour honestly.
DeletePoster find out if indeed d new electronics is d cause of her attitude. If it is, pls let her be. She go dey alright lass lass. Namsense.
If you end your relationship over something this trivial, you are on your own.
DeletePeople like you will end up meeting someone worse then you will know that there is no perfect human being.
Your daddy did it and your mum loved it does not mean you can't adjust how you do yours.You need to be sensitive and understand the person you are dating.
There was a day I travelled for 2 days and by the time I got back,my husband had changed our entire living room, changed the curtains, changed the rug, repositioned the tv. Was i happy? No. I just wanted to be part of that arrangement,I live here too so I think those things should be done together as a couple except I am not interested.
My husband knew i wasn't happy and it never happened again. When I buy things for the house( not personal stuff) I run it with my husband, what do you think? Is this fine? Do you like the colour? The fact that I am buying it with my money doesn't mean nothing.
Back to your gf, you wanted to buy electronics, of couse she is happy you bought them but probably felt left out of the whole arrangement. Babe, what do you think about this LG tv? I love it, it has so so features. You are not consulting her or taking permission to buy it, you are Just carrying her along!!! except of course, it is a casual relationship.
Anyway,*have a chat and talk things over, all the best.
Una two go dey alright every soon
ReplyDeleteA relationship is a union of 2 people from different backgrounds and families. Your orientation taught you to buy without asking your partner, which is right in it's own way. Probably her orientation is, partners have to sit together to discuss things. It could be about small things yet it matters.
DeleteFind out more about her, I guess you haven't really done your study. If you do, you'll know how to handle her and not assume she will be like your mum.
Datakwaibomchick, that's very true. I remember when my fiance then just rented his apartment, he went out on a Saturday morning and bought furniture and curtains for the house, and then informed me afterwards. I was so pissed off eehhhh. I felt he could have carried me along, he bought off colours and at an outrageous price. In retrospect, I could have just let it slide since he didn't use my money. Ask her what exactly her issue Is, you will find out.
DeleteNa wah o. What a perfect time to end relationship. Christmas is really around the corner. Una go dey alright las las
ReplyDeletePoster, I am actually like that, I don’t live in the same town with my hubby but I was angry her got a new gen without telling me, she just felt you had it in mind and kept it away from her, just let her know it dint cross your mind. Is it a big deal ?
DeleteWhat a minute. Is this a chronicle or child's play? You people are just behaving like children. Poster why didn't you tell her? How can you make such decision without informing her? It's like you did not really love this girl. If it was someone that you love, you will have tell her about your plans before buying it
ReplyDeleteOga/madam calm down! Why are you shouting? Na so e pain you reach???
DeleteAbegiii. So somebody cannot surprise people again? Us it her money? Or does he have to buy two sets one for her and one for him before she will be happy. Nigerian girls, greed and self entitlement are triplets.
DeleteThis issue isn't minor as people may see it, it caused serious problem for me and my husband but when I realize there was nothing I could do about it I just ignored so that nothing would disturb my peace of mind...imagine living under same roof and the person keeps taking decision without letting you know, don't blame her maybe you guys have gotten to the stage where you both know you will settle down together and seeing you act like this will make her feel you don't appreciate her opinion. I don't think you love her much pls free her so she would be with someone better, you think is a minor issue right? But that's what makes most people happy.
DeleteIt's true. I have been married for more than 20 years and I still don't like it when my husband changes things in the house without telling me beforehand or even asking my opinion. I feel excluded, unloved and just as if I'm there to serve a purpose but not be a part of his life. It hurts. I can relate to the posters girlfriend so well. This comment about not being able to buy things after you get married shows that you are not ready for marriage at all. And you are quoting your dad and your mum's marriage. How are you so sure your dad doesn't hint your mum about buying those new things beforehand? Did you sleep with your parents in their bedroom to hear their conversations. Poster, your girlfriend is different from your mother. She is a unique individual. If you truly loved her you would try to find out why she's still upset instead of thinking of breaking up with her.
DeleteIt's true. I have been married for more than 20 years and I still don't like it when my husband changes things in the house without telling me beforehand or even asking my opinion. I feel excluded, unloved and just as if I'm there to serve a purpose but not be a part of his life. It hurts. I can relate to the posters girlfriend so well. This comment about not being able to buy things after you get married shows that you are not ready for marriage at all. And you are quoting your dad and your mum's marriage. How are you so sure your dad doesn't hint your mum about buying those new things beforehand? Did you sleep with your parents in their bedroom to hear their conversations. Poster, your girlfriend is different from your mother. She is a unique individual. If you truly loved her you would try to find out why she's still upset instead of thinking of breaking up with her.
Delete@1855, you got it right. Poster please read 1855’s write up very well. If you have been in a relationship with this girl for sometime now, you could have told her you are thinking of changing your electronics or furniture. Admitted it’s your money but discussing plans with a partner shows some seriousness in your relationship.
DeletePlease stop going to buy things without discussions. Nobody will stop you from acquiring those things. If you want to end the relationship you are free to but if you don’t change that surprise mentality, the next girl you meet will act that way too.
15:35 thank u jor.
DeleteDear, it looks like your wife has someone that's option A, you are option B:
ReplyDeleteI don dey talk am long time. Naija girls dating anyone in Naija, na pillow case boyfriend that one be -just a supplier of "Richard cards, ATM machine, and fork. Them eyes dey for that hunting wey them dey do for abroad husband. E bi like say her hunting don dey catch.
Unless she feels you could have used the money spent to invest in a business or something more profitable, she is either a witch or a witch lol but don’t quote me.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I kind of get her though going by her reason “we were together yesterday and you didn’t tell me about your plans”. She probably also needs money and might have planned to ask next day only to see that you’ve spent money on other things. Before you throw the girl and the relationship away, explain to her why you didn’t see the need to inform her and that you wanted it to be a surprise. She is probably upset that you’re the type to do things without asking for your partners opinion and in marriage, couples don’t just go out and spend money without first discussing even if he drop by mistake. It’s your house and money though but she first get clue say bobo wan launch new electronics so she can wear her celebration dress to come wash it with you.
Many likes for this comment Dopple.. Stella pls let's have a like button abeg
DeleteIf u get her reason, then what's the point of your first paragraph?
DeleteWhat's the point of getting a like button?
DeleteTo stroke egos?
Joy she ws joking,bt d joke is expensive
DeleteListen, she feels she is a part of you , you should have informed her, she wants to be involved in decision making. Just apologise, yes it's your money and your house but it is not bad to ask for her opinion if she is truly important to you
ReplyDeleteFact!!! Thank you, Poster go apologize to her and don't let oversabi ruin your relationship.
DeleteWell said. You put it perfectly
DeleteI'm telling you...Simple apology would have sufficed. Your ego will not allow you enjoy your relationship. A girl that spends time with you every evening listening to the same sound system or watching the same TV, and you didn't deem it necessary to chip in to her....baby, I wan change this TV or audio, see the one I'm looking at buying what do you think?" This is how someone in love would have put it.
DeletePoster you are so quick to want to move on. You don't love your girl. You are also not ready for marriage. Do you think marriage is child's play? You work for a good relationship and marriage before you reap the benefits. You don't run away from every little challenge that presents itself. That is not maturity. Lastly, for any successful relationship, communication is key. Learn to talk about issues in a none threatening manner and really listen to what the other person is saying. So go and find out why your girlfriend is acting the way she is. Man up. If you feel you still want to move on, feel free to do so once you can't cope with her. Na wa ooo
DeleteApolowetin? Poster nor try am. I repeat dont. Which kind yeye sense of belonging b that.
DeleteIf its her house n he came 2 visit her with new electronics 4 her will she be acting same way? Abegi. Soon ull ve 2 call her 2 tell her ure changing ur boxers. Mteeeeeew.
For how long have you dated this girl?
ReplyDeleteIf you've kept her for longer than a year, having intercourse (fornication) without taking a step to marry her, she has found another person who wants to marry her and is looking for excuse to offload you.
If you have the money to "change every electronics" why not the money to do marriage ceremony?
Most men are okay with relationships that run marathon as long as vj is open.
Her problem is, you didn't inform her before u bought them...she feels left out... If she buys a car without informing u, how would u feel? Therein lies your answer.
ReplyDeleteIf he surprises her with a car,how would she feel?
DeleteMicheal, but he didn't.
DeleteWere the new electronics for her???
if they were living together, it would make more sense that he bought it for "them", but from the narrative,they aren't.
poster might not be saying the whole truth abeg. that girl probably asked him for financial help and he said he doesn't have and he goes out to do this...
of cos she'll vex.
if you're already thinking of ending your relationship cos of this then you truly are over it.
Do what you want, she'll be alright last last.
goodluck.
So mummys girls if he bought her a car she won't have been upset that she wasn't consulted first abi? What if the electronics was not planned like that, m sure there are things you go out without having in mind to buy something and den you see a sales somewhere or something really good and you deecie to get it. Besides it's just electronics she should even be happy that the guy finally changed them after so long
DeleteShe is angry because you kept her in the dark, you did not inform her about your intention to buy the electronics. The illustration you gave says your dad surprises you kids when he buys such electronics, you never said surprised your mum as well. So you see, everybody isn't same, surprise get limit, always learn to carry your partner along in decision making, that way they feel important and feel respected as well.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile this act of yours might mean nothing to some other girl who won't be upset, reason you need to study your partner and know what he or she dislikes. So go apologize to your gf for not carrying her along and maybe also stress on the fact that you wanted surprising her with it and meant no harm.
Thank you. Poster read this well.
DeletePoster is using style to pick a fight as Christmas don near. E nor wan 🎁 her.
Thank you jare, Not everybody likes surprises, my husband doesnt.
DeleteYour girl might be feeling that she isn't important that's why you didn't tell her. It makes us ladies feel valued and appreciated when our man asks us for our opinion in some things even if you end up not following it. Just talk to her tell her that you just wanted to surprise her that's all. You see relationship and marriage involves two different people from different background and upbringing. May she was brought up in a family where the dad gives the mum money to buy those things. Is the understanding and communication here that matters. You self learn to tolerate , just this small Shakara your girl is doing you want to run away instead of looking at her face and petting her.
ReplyDeleteJust maybe she asked you for money you didn't give her and she came in and saw your new sets. She's now thinking so this guy has money like this. He's really stingy. Next Move! Attitude.
ReplyDeletehehehe!
You with your own assumption,your girl with her own. Make ona sit down talk. Communication solves a lot.
I don't like not knowing why something ended jare.
Exactly!! at your first paragraph.
DeletePoster if only you knew the joy I get when my ex would always call on phone and ask me the simplest of things like
ReplyDelete*Bby what color of cloth should I wear today,should I wear denim or suit
*Should I cook rice or beans today babe.
*I want to buy wrist watch, which designers should I wear.
My dear lil things matter to us more than gold and silver..In stellz voice*you can take it to the bank.
I am so much like you in this aspect KrystiQ so much so i feel loved cos you value my opinion.
DeleteKrytiq God bless you plenty, those little things matter...
DeleteYou did wrong oga Ade
ReplyDeletewas it that same day you bought it that d plan came?
You must have nursed the plan before venturing into it
Oya go and apologize
Bue
You are from a home where your Dad buys/makes decisions without informing your Mum, fine. She might be from a home where her parents planned and executed everything together. Find out what works for her. This is no reason to end a relationship. Always be mindful of the fact that the other person has a different home, background and maybe even culture. Compromise and tolerance is key for any relationship, romantic or otherwise to survive.
ReplyDeleteNigerian men don't know what compromise is na. Their own is accept anything I do as I am the god of my nyash.
DeletePoster in the many years you will need to grow up, you need to do 2 things: free that girl so someone who values her will meet her and make sure you marry doll baby or robot.
As your partner, she also needs to grow up. This childish passive aggressive behaviour is mega irritating. If you have ish with someone, open your mouth and speak otherwise shut up and face front. Stop behaving like an Ekwensu.
Poster, people reacts differently to issues. Both of you are from different family background with different temperaments. You don't expect her to act like you.
ReplyDeleteI feel she's offset because she was in your place and you couldn't tell her about your plan. She believes you're supposed to carry her along.
You on your part didn't see it as a big deal because you're used to that kind of life.
This issue isn't big to call off a relationship if you sincerely and truely love her. All you need is sit down discussion. Let both you iron it out as adults. Listen to her own side of the story and her reason for acting up. Also, explain your self that it's never a big deal.
At the end there must be a compromise on your parts to avoid future occurrence.
I like to be told about finances too.am a better manager than he is.now we are married,am in charge of bills...he just pays cash into my acct
ReplyDeleteI no get any advice for akuko ndi umuazi.
ReplyDeleteI think she just felt at this point, you both should make decisions together. Maybe you should have informed her of what you wanted to do rather than doing it behind her back thus making her feel like her input in the relationship is not important.
ReplyDeleteYou may not see it as a big deal but when you're married, it's very important. Unless it's a minor thing, if you're carrying out major changes, please let her in on it before you start.
Hope you're not the controlling type sha? The type that feel he has the final say in the house? Just asking..
You should have informed her. she is thinking that's how you will treat her when you guys eventually get married i.e you won't be carrying her along when you want to make decisions that concern your home.
ReplyDeletewell, before you allow the relationship die a natural death,try to have a one one discussion with her so as to know the change in her attitude. something else could be getting her angry
I have a boss that behaves just like your girl friend, the only surprise package they want from a spouse is a birthday gift. They enjoy being in charge and aware of any major decision or change
ReplyDeleteI am like that as well
DeleteSometimes I go as far as twllinf my huaband what I want for my birthday gift. He normally just adds one or 2 other gifts to that 'cos my husband's middle name is surprises...lol.
He loves to give surprises whilst I am the complete opposite. I like to plan and know what to expect!
Poster, don't end it. Both of u have different upbringing. Some love surprises while some don't. I grew up seeing my dad do his thing, my mom no send. We all celebrate new stuffs. Buy my husband and I operate a joint account and I put more,so if he buys pin without clearance, yawa be dat. But I won't mind as long as its not our account. So call her and talk,don't loose a diamond cos its not polished.
ReplyDeleteHmm this one is different than your papa own oo... you have been planning to do this and u did not tell her, what if she also needed new electronics, or what if she asked u for money and u said u didn't have and now u came out with this your surprise?...
ReplyDeleteYour girl sees you as her partner
ReplyDeleteYes, you should have asked her preferences at the very least
You did not want to surprise her, you just did not think it was necessary to involve since you are paying 100%
Thats how it starts, tomorrow you will buy land and start building without telling or involving her.
She has sensed it, that's why she wants distance
Maybe she consults you before she does anything but you don't do the same for her.
Thats why a lot of wives become secretive and start hiding money because their husbands make them feel insecure.
You should call her and apologize, promise and reassure her it wont happen again.
If you plan to marry her, then let every future purchase have both of your names on the receipts.
Poster here lies your answer
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWhat if the girls preferences won't have also been his another wahala?
DeleteYou won't know you are dealing with a witch until something good happens to you?
ReplyDeletechei!! lolss!!
DeleteRotflmao!
DeleteWhen you hurt your partners feelings you should apologize and explain. Sorry I didn't tell you I grew bupbthis way. I thought it was ok. Textvher the explanation if she's not picking the phone.
ReplyDeleteNo oh, real men don't apologise. Mayb his manhood will become smaller if he apologizes. Go and end your relationship yoi hear instead of doing the needful.
DeleteLoll, this one cannot even manage himself talk less of a relationship. The next babe he dates he will also complain if she frys plantain and it is not as brown as when his mother used to make it.
DeleteAll these small oversize children chopping adult food.
You said that's how your father behaves but know what?? It's 2018 and you don't go around buying things without informing your partner considering the fact that you guys were together the previous night. Electronics is not meatpie, you must have thought and saved towards buying it (In most cases). If you can think of breaking up cos of lil issue like this then you are not man enough cos guess what? issues are inevitable in every relationship, how you handle it is what matters. Choice is yours, good luck .
ReplyDeleteThank you yellow sisi. Poster, you need to go apologize to that girl except you don’t love her.
DeleteNyen nyen this is how my father used to do it, and so fucking what?
DeleteIs she your sister?
Is she your mother?
So common sense cannot allow you to reason that people react to things differently?
You do not know that you as a man can actually do things differently???
I hope you have no intention of marrying for the next 5-10 years.
You need strong trained on emotional intelligence, something Nigerian men no nothing about, in order to assume the role of a leader in your house.
Head of house no be by size of penis.
useless boy,I just pity that girl
ReplyDeleteIf you love that girl go and apologize
ReplyDeleteIf person talk now.. Them go say person I abuse ds one....is ds one a man?... Radarada.
ReplyDeleteIt is good as Stella has ds kind of platform dt will encourage people to come with their problems. At least, it will save trauma and depression.
I will like to u to answer some questions : How long have u been dating and what attracted you to her?
Something happened of recent and your of recent is last week Tuesday and u are already tired and thinking of leaving d relationship. Oga cover ur face, u are not a man. U don't know how to pamper woman.
U are thinking of changing furniture and not think of asking her of her favourite colour, not even a joke of "if I change ds TV now, I will like to watch my prog.while u go to d bed to watch urs"...u be mumu..so u think d next one u will date will allow u to gv her hypertension wt ur impromptu attitude and lack of communication. .why are u making reference to ur dad, a lady can not express herself again.. .is buying a TV in d house d same as buying a gift for her
U need to be romantic and engage in more conversations/communication and try to apologise when needed so also, learn to endure and try all d best u can to make sure things work out before giving up. Successful marriage is about endurance, effective communication and bit of romance.
I will be angry if I were in her shoes. I will prefer you tell me. In-short I prefer planning things together with someone I call my good friend. She is always in your house and you never mentioned it. Me will not be happy.
ReplyDeletePoster your comment ‘if I eventually marry this girl’ after you have decided to let the relationship ‘die a natural death’ is the reason most of you men die young.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to marriage you think you are doing the girl a favor by marrying her. But the truth you never thought about is that the girl might not even want to marry you.
So if you visited her on Monday and then got there on Tuesday and she has a new car and she never mentioned that she planned to buy a new car won’t you find it weird?
Most of you are so immature and stupid that you don’t even understand the meaning of relationship, how can someone be with you everyday and still get suprised with your moves? Your type will leave their girlfriend on Friday and go and do trad in the village with another girl on Saturday.
Let it die a natural death uncle ‘if I marry her’ you think you’re the only man in the world ode!
Die young ke? Stop being evil, you can make your comment without wishing death on anyone.
DeleteThis is not enough reason to end a relationship. You need to talk to her. You have a point that your father did things that way to surprise you, if you ask her it may be in her own house things like that are discussed before they are done. You need to talk to her and let her know your decision is not because she is not important. Two people from two different background trying to come together need a lot of discussion if not the interpretations given to actions will always be different based on upbringing / family background.
ReplyDeleteAsk her Why the attitude?
ReplyDeleteCharity.. The babe is shocked he can be that secretive. The thing weak her. Dude go de very self centered sha. He is the man. He must make decisions by himself.
Deletethis poster cef...Can't you ask her why she's giving you attitude, abi you don dey eye one "free spirited" girl in your street and you're now looking for a way to break up with it gf
ReplyDeleteSenseless boy,continue with your father pattern
ReplyDeleteDon't mind him. Guys like him can relocate without telling his wife/gf.
DeleteWhat is the big deal in telling her you wanted change your electronics? To think she was even with you the previous day.
You don't even deserve the girl because it is obvious she is hurt but your Ego won't allow you say sorry
Poster I put it to you that you don't love this girl,you have been looking for tangible opportunity to break up & you obviously see this as one.
ReplyDeleteBiko what prevented you from sitting her down & finding out what exactly is her annoyance, how she feels about this whole event & maybe any other thing? You are comparing her to your mum, every body isn't the same, so you are telling me the girl you will marry must have same character like your mum?
Personally I feel your babe feels you not telling her about it is like you sidelining her, me too will feel this way,my man must tell me these things. See it this way, you tell your partner most things, no be say na payslip or account balance wey some guys feel say them no fit reveal, you telling her about these little things & other details means togetherness & you giving her a special place in your life as a serious person. So do the right thing.
I only blame her for not telling you everything on her mind that very day, if it were to be me I will use that as an opportunity to tell you every other thing which I perceive as you not seeing me as a future wife. Na so e be. Mr man change your ways, know what your woman expect from you & act accordingly.
I sense this poster has a habit of sidelining her in doing things, so this was the straw that broke the camel's back. She don't tire. Poster I don't think you love or respect your girlfriend.
DeleteYou're not a serious person.
ReplyDeletePoster like I always tell my mate! Don’t start what you cannot finish, if your girl starts manufacturing things into her house/life without letting u know from the jump don’t complain..... just be happy and do party to celebrate.
ReplyDeleteMr man, you are at fault here . She spent the evening with u and the next evening , she saw electronics. I'll react same way. This isn't surprise. It's non character attitude. It would have been a surprise if you bought them, instal them, close her eyes and lead her to the living room to unveil them. So don't take ur dads actions to justify urs. Things have changed
ReplyDeleteour upbringing are diff.. some were brought up to have this free spirit attitude while some are used to the giving every details . if u really love her u either let her learn ur ways or u adapt to hers
ReplyDeleteI hope the poster is reading and learning.
ReplyDeleteHe is not ready for any relationship not to talk of marriage.
It's the little things that hurt the most in a relationship. Poster, bear this in mind.
ReplyDeleteGo and apologise to that girl except of course, she isn't part of your future
Exactly
DeleteWomen and their wahala,my husband buys anything he wanna buy.if it,s good stuff I will b happy but if it,s not good I can give him reasons and tell him its not.women should allow men relax abeg.To be a man is not easy.jus try to accept the man has a different upbringing,its not about always wanting people to do things ur way cos u are a wife or gal friend.it doesnt really work that way.
ReplyDeleteEveryone can't be like you
DeletePoster please have a decent conversation with her and know what is really eating her up. U might just have misunderstood her. Be sure before you close Dat door.
ReplyDelete... before you roll those dice, think twice...
DeleteIt annoys me when I see people act like this in relationships! Can you stop assuming and just COMMUNICATE!
ReplyDeleteAsk her what is wrong...I mean,this thing is not rocket science
Which kind story be this, just tell us that you are looking for a reason to let her go. So because of this one event you want to end the relationship abi? I hear. Stop comparing her with your mother, she is not your mother...simple sorry will save you money you will use to chyke another girl but your ego won't key you.
ReplyDeletebut he is ready to wife her not make her an EX .urs after all the baby this baby that made u an Ex *omo
ReplyDeleteuntil you girls stop dragging head of family with men marriages will continue to break . a man cannot do what he wants to do in his own house again mtcheew .this how you girls will be doing i too know until you enter menopause and you will start lamenting am depressed this and that *omo
ReplyDeleteAll the women here are being ridiculous with their responses. For goodness sake, she is a girlfriend and not a wife. They are not even engaged. She has no right at this point to get angry over something as small as electronics in his own house.
ReplyDeleteAnything that happens in a relationship only amplifies in a marriage. If she turns a blind eye to this now, she would have to continue doing so, even if it hurts... She must feel like U know better, so pls do better poster... Have that conversation and & reach an understanding.
DeleteThere is no guarantee that the relationship will even lead to marriage. They are just dating. Women need to calm down and go with the flow. I wouldn't want a guy I'm dating to get upset over me buying something with my money in my own house.
DeleteNne, relationships come with compromises... If U can't take d heat, leave d kitchen. In other words, If U re not ready to commit, then don't be in one... Be single and free
DeleteBv Sparkle Says " Dont Lose a Diamond,because it is not Polished"... Am gonna Adopt that as my Quote of the Week.
ReplyDeleteWell,jst felt the need to make it 100 Comments on this Post...
Open and honest communication is something seriously lacking today between couples and intending couples among Nigerians. Many tragic or near fatal cases are seen daily with mysterious untimely deaths, domestic violence, nasty divorce and horrific relationship breakdown affecting too many Nigerians of all age and status category.
ReplyDeleteWhy? Talking truthfully and open communication has been buried by preference and reliance to depend upon prayers or involve pastors e.t.c to provide every solution for personal problems that people are facing in their lives.
I watched a documentary on ID TV Channel, real life crime story where a young wife murdered her husband in cold blood just because of her overzealous penny pinching attitude and crazy way of counting pennies to the last drop! Really I swear!!! Something very annoying even for most broke, wasteful or money foolish people when you harass and bully like that over money, they will run mad over being bombabrded about accounting for and calculating every cent or penny they spend. This young man that was killed by his money economic minded saving crazy wife, was really earning over $100,000 easy every year from his technical job in the oil industry. While the having herself who put it upon herself to calculate pennies was barely making a living wage from her call centre / customer service manager position. But her madness over another person's income will not let her be! Wickedly on the New Year eve she aimed at and shot several bullets into her husband, out of jealousy seeing him have a good time at a party earlier that day.
Please talk to your spouse or partner in a relationship about everything personally bothering you. Don't assume that the way your mother and father or ancestors did things is the right way!!!
Marriage is not meant to be suffering or hurting! Love don't hurt! Suffering and hurting is ignorance!!!
You don't have to be in a marriage or relationship with someone that has polar opposite attitude and values with your own, and both of you becoming unable to adjust to it.
Prayers don't solve issues that common sense can easily fix. Talk honestly, ask questions and don't always assume things in personal relationship.
He has bought new electronics and is feeling like a big boy, so he doesn't need his girlfriend anymore. He wants to impress another girl with his new stuff.
ReplyDeleteGbam 💯
DeletePoster your girl did the right thing, she is not angry cow you changed the furniture in the house but your attitude. You did not carry her alone, I am not saying you must inform her before buying it, you should have told her with style that baby if God bless me I will love to change my electronics, you would have asked her the type she like and you both discuss your own design and you leave it open, the day you finally buys it she will smile over it, but you took decisions alone, it means she is not important to you or you both don’t have future together.
ReplyDeleteYou will need to give her little space for her to calm down, find time and talk things over with her, get to know why she acted this way, apologize to her and you both should move on. Most men take decisions without informing their woman, it is very wrong.