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SURVIVING DEPRESSION CAUSED BY A BAD MARRIAGE

Dear Stella,


Great job. I read a lot about people feeling sad and depressed and I feel like sharing my story and I hope it helps someone. Most especially the lady who said marrying the wrong person can get you depressed. Madam, I totally agree with you.


I married at 27. I was a banker. Like every new wife I did everything to please my husband. It was the era of black berry phones. He stopped me from renewing my subscription that it was a waste of money and I obliged. Gradually, I lost all my friends. They didn't want to associate with him cause he never smiles and so they didn't feel welcomed.


At a very crucial point in my banking career, I wasn't meeting my targets. He had moved all his personal and business accounts from my bank immediately after the wedding. I needed to mobilize deposit so I spoke with his friends. They were willing to assist but right in my presence, he discouraged them saying it wasn't a wise investment option. To cut the long story short, I lost my job about a year after he lost his. I was happy because I finally had rest. What I feared most happened.


He became ruthless. I remember when my car was faulty, he will go out in his Jeep and take the key to the third car along just so I suffer. He spoke to me anyhow. Called me a witch, my mother a with him, said he wasn't the father of our children. I will cry all night, pray, go for vigils and camp meetings. I lost identity of myself.


I will wake in the morning and go pick up snails during the rainy season to feed. I used my car as taxi. I was sad. I will call my mum and ask her why she gave me out In marriage and told her to come get me before I kill myself.


Sometimes, I take a taxi to nowhere, stop in the middle of the road and walk back home in miles, crying with so much bitterness asking God just one question. 'Why will you create me to suffer? Did I beg you?' May God forgive me for those days.


I felt completely alone in this world. I will go home and lock myself away from the children. I felt like a failure and my husband was always there to tell me how useless I was. How everything I touch gets jinxed. How I change into someone else and torment him in his dreams. There was absolutely nothing interesting in life.


With all this happening, I was footing 70% of the bills in the house. I had a business but had no happiness.
One day, I decided to stop existing and start living. I decided to stop loving my husband. I stood up to him. It was game over. I stopped helping him and started loving myself. I carefully put an end to tolerating rubbish. We had a lengthy discussion and I told him how useless he has been in my life since we got married and how I was prepared to leave if he will not change. Then he changed in his ways.


To crown it, I decided to learn a trade. Tailoring. I met new people. Had so much fun spending time outside the house. After my training, work started coming in and of course money followed.


I love the fact that I am always busy, no time to Harbour silly thoughts. I meet new people. The joy I derive in satisfying my customers, the credit alerts nko. I can only bless God. No one would have thought that the only reason I learnt tailoring was to be able to make few dresses for my daughter and I.


Please sisters, an idle mind, is the devil's playing ground. Don't let any man steal your happiness. If a husband is disturbing your peace. Just pack him put for one corner. The day you need him, he will be reachable and if you don't need him c'est bon. As long as you weren't born with a husband, then, you can live without one. Just make sure you do what makes You happy.

*Thank God you survived it.....I hope those reading this that are depressed realise that they can save themselves by themselves!