The Journey Of A Baby Mama Series -4

#GatherHereForASelfieAndShareYourView....

 Human beings really are complex beings, because my happiness is important to me that is why I haven’t forced any man to marry me now, so I don’t understand why someone would say I feel entitled. Of course I am entitled to my happiness. 

Why don’t you wait till life humbles you before you judge someone?


You see this judging and blame game thing goes to show why girls who mistakenly get pregnant want to abort, because they are not ready to face such humiliation, in the process they end up killing themselves or damaging their womb in order to keep face. I knew life wasn’t going to be easy for me no matter what, the moment I decided to keep the pregnancy, but I still did it because it was a better option, so I have formed a stiff back when it comes to such condemnation.



Let me tell you people another story maybe those being trashy would understand. I met a woman in the market and she happened to be a Lolo of her community, we were buying something in the same shop and somehow what I did for her caught her attention and she collected my number from the seller because I was a regular customer.


Few days later she called me and introduced herself as Lolo and wanted to see me, I was scared at first but I was also curious. So I went ahead to meet her. I met her with her husband, she explained that she liked the way I handled what happened that day and shows that my mama trained me well. She told me the guy told him I have a child I said yes and she asked plenty questions which I answered, then she said she wants me to meet someone.

To cut this story short, out of respect for the woman I went ahead to meet the person. When I got there, I met a middle aged man (56) and his son, this man is very rich in fact one of the movers and shakers of the city. It was there the woman told me the reason for coming, this man has been married 2 times. He told me his ordeal with the other women, this son was living with him and a year younger than me.


The man tried to entice me with his wealth telling me I have nothing to lose that he would buy a house for me in my choice area in the city, asked me the kind of car I liked. I was playing along because immediately I entered his house I became scared, he seemed to me like but it looked like he was into something shady and I wasn’t expecting an oldie. 

He told me how girls usually disturb him to marry them; you know trying to woo me. He said before we get married he would get me pregnant first before proceeding with any marriage thing, but the one that made me run without looking back was when he said my child would never live with us but his son gets to live with us. I told my family of course they never accepted such but some of my friends reiterated what the man said that I have nothing to lose and I would get to live a comfortable life.

The Lolo kept begging me to accept, when she realized I was not going to be bought, she even cited an example with a popular states man (70) who during that period just married a very young girl (25). I began to wonder why they were desperate for me to marry this man, who knows what he could have done to me if I had married him, God forbid. 

So if it were about the money or class, I could have married him but my priority is happiness. Would I be happy knowing my child isn’t happy?

I was thinking recently of all that I have been through since I had my child, I was wondering where and what could have become of me if it did not happen. Maybe I could have become a runs girl due to the financial challenges I was facing in my family then and maybe in the process something bad happened to me and I end up dead, or I could have gone far in life, who knows. 

 So sometimes I look at the brighter side of life ...I won’t lie in the beginning I lived in regret, I beat myself and blamed myself for how things turned out, but I always try to look for the silver lining, because it’s always there. Maybe God did this to stop me from turning out worse, I know a lot of you won’t agree to this but sincerely this is the one thing that has kept me from regretting or treating my child harshly, I see her as an angel who stopped me from loosing myself.



I don’t blame any man who does not want me because of my child, it’s the man’s choice, I could have probably done so if I were a man, so we all have choices and I have made mine....