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Sunday, December 30, 2018
86 comments:
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Because if you don't, you would be doing yourself a great disservice. .πππ
ReplyDeleteI learn quick.
DeleteIf you don't hire me wetin you gain?
DeleteYou just have to hire me and find out.
DeleteI do the hiring and I fire no one.
ReplyDelete.... Because my face is a brand that sells/ push any company forward.π€£ππ€£ππ.....
DeleteNa joke oh, before una rush me!
Before who rush you?
DeleteSince your face is your selling point, tell us what you sell.
You should hire me because it is a win win situation for the organisation and me. I have skills/experience which will benefit the organisation immensely and help it achieve its vision and in the process, I hope to also improve my skills and develop myself.
DeleteNice response
DeleteAh why you take the matter serious like this new?
DeleteAh why you take the matter serious like this naaaa!
DeleteAh why you take the matter serious like this new?
DeleteFor Guaranteed Quality and Superb Taste.
ReplyDeleteWhy shouldn't you hire me sir/ma??
ReplyDelete@MARTINS ABOY
Because I've got beauty and brain to bring in customers and keep them.
ReplyDeleteSo you use "beauty" to bring in customers "and keep them" (gasping for more)
DeleteWhat really do to those dudes to "keep them"?
What is the product?
Mmmmmhhh beauty keeping customers?
DeleteDon't I smell mackerel fish here?
@Princess:
DeleteDoes your factory sell forks?
Abeg lemme come under here and laugh ππππππππππππππ
Deleteπππ
Deleteππππ
DeleteBecause I've come to the interview
ReplyDeleteSome men do try anyway.
Like on very tall fine guy that was hired in a tire and tube company in the nineties. Those time that Nigeria had industries.
He stayed just five months on the job and 7 ladies had inflated tummies including his boss.
Finally they had to offload him when the boss discovered that her daughter's tummy was also inflated by him.
Just imagine like you come to an office where eight ladies work and seven were pregnant at the same time. Like to say that
they did on your marks, set --- The only one whose tummy was flat has had menopause.
The yeye guy was just sowing his wide oats anyhow.
DeleteBecause I can squirt and your MD will like it
ReplyDeleteKuku kee me
DeleteEnd time squirter
DeleteHahahaahahhaah
DeleteI have all it takes to move this organization to greater heights....intellectually, morally and physically. I am ready to deliverrrrrrrrrr
ReplyDelete@ Goodness:
DeleteAll it takes physically, to move the organization?
This one is bottom powers?
Looks like anyone that hires you is in for fire!
No we need to hire you so that goodness and mercy shall continue to follow us
DeleteAs in someone that is physically endowed (behind and in front)
DeleteAnd with vacuum upstairs?
Physically? Yeah
DeleteI am not a special needs person. I am ready to work round the clock to achieve set goals...through hardwork,excellent motivation and good team spirit.
*looks into his/her eyeballs deeply*
Yea
DeleteI said it.
Round the clock means all night, midnight, twilight servicing included.
Which office opens by midnight and round the clock?
Which worker works without break?
You have not told us the type of work you are looking for; have you?
18.29 Nah .
DeleteUpstairs is filled with intelligent ideas_ producing success and positive growth acceleration.
Ok the "office" bed is upstairs and intelligent (styles; monkey tree hanger and kangaroo dance style) ideas are displayed?
Delete18.47 I mean official duties. I am able to work under pressure to achieve immediate results.
DeleteYou need more clarifications, Sir/Ma?
Mehnn I am so serious here πππ
Hmm anons and Gnm u pple should cum out already this una evryday love don dey thicken. π π π π
Delete@Goodness
DeleteNO need for more clarifications, we understand. You work round the clock, very well under the pressures of the ogas on top.
You are a very hard worker. In fact, you work harder, harder than any known official and the office (bed) even testify to
your hard works -the whole screws loosen out after your very harrrrrrrrrrd works.
20.08 leave me alone na...isn't okay? π¨πππ
DeleteI get something wey them no get.
ReplyDeleteI'm so irreplaceable...
ReplyDeleteMehn I need to do small exercise. see fat has gathered around my rib folding. Too much rice is not good.
Me: is there a vacancy?
ReplyDeleteInterviewer: yes, why?
Me: so why are you asking me an obvious question?
no be so???
After they have shortlisted me based on my resume, they are still asking me this type of question..
Let's hope that HR steps up their game and begin to ask intelligent and forward thinking questions.
Wetin concern me sef... lol
Dry.
Delete*Yawns*
because I ve the midas touch to move your company forwardπππππ
ReplyDeleteAs in touch and follow?
DeleteNo. ..you've a dictionary right? now check the meaning of what I wrote...troublesellerπππ
DeleteKidjo how's you?
DeleteMidas touch and follow. All the men in the office will be at your beck and call.
DeleteYou spend the whole work hours sending out selfies like you are doing in that your display picture oburo ya?
Miss Aboki is that you? abi my eyes re seeing double? wait lemme go wear my contact lens...
Deleteanon20:09
DeleteYou re dumb and too slow. ...must everything be about guys. .gosh! try to be smart for once please.
I believe I have what it takes to take your company above all competitor's
ReplyDeleteBcoz i have the zeal, intellect and the ability to learn fast under intense pressure with little or no supervision. i am also a team player who will go all out to ensure the goals and objectives of this organization are achieved.
ReplyDeleteOooops i forgot to add that i am the best leg hanger you can find anywhere in the wolrd. Kwakwakwakwkwakwakwa
Because i will work as if it's mine.
ReplyDeleteI'm smart
Intelligent
ability to learn and interact with people.
will add a productive value in your company.
Yaaaaaawwwn!!! There's no real job oooo!!!!! Where is your sense of humour ooooo????!!!!
DeleteBecause life is too short to be interviewing 20 people for one position.
ReplyDeleteBecause..... Erm Erm. π
ReplyDeleteBecause i hack into your system and invited myself for this interview.
ReplyDeleteBecause i need to pay my tithe and my heavenly father owns all things
ReplyDeleteYes o. God owns all things including the hirer.
Delete@Goodness
DeleteLet this "God chant" merge with your behavior okay?
Don't say such thing in China, na kung-fu them go use pursue you comot frm the office@anon19:50
Delete22.04 OK Mum/Dad...I will try mybest tru Christ who strengthens me.
DeleteI believe you are looking for a (put post name)....as you can see from my previous experience in my CV...I am qualified for this post. But where I really think I set myself apart is that I am able to hit the ground running as soon as I start. And this is what I'd like to bring to this post if hired.
ReplyDeleteBecause I need d job...help me
ReplyDelete..help my life...economy is bad..me sef wan buy benz
Because am good for the job and you must hire me πππππ
ReplyDeleteSee the kind of shameful responses (e.g. beauty and brains to keep customers) I am seeing here, later una go complain say work no dey. Do you know who is reading and could perhaps offer you a job?
ReplyDeleteNo vex na.
DeleteNa as her IQ take reach.
No vex inugo?
You should know that you need "Beauty with Brains" in the banking sector(Marketing) so she was right to ve said what she said
DeleteStop attacking people for their own opinion,if you can't give yours then read and pass. this place is gonna be boring if we all say the same thing and act like Shakespeare....
Only mad people think alike, stop dictating to others on how they should comport themselves here...
ππππ
I'm the best person for the job.
ReplyDeleteYou should hire me for the following reasons.
ReplyDelete(1)I would give your organization 100% as if it were mine.
(2)I am indispensable.
(3)I am hardworking.
(4)I I don't intend to be just a salary earner but also an input provider to the growth of the company portfolios
(5)you should hire me now that I'm affordable.
Hire me cause I have an extensive work experience in office environment and service industries ,giving me varied skills and ability to work with many different type of people, I am a conscientious person who works hard and pay attention to details. I am flexible, quick to pick up new skills and eager to learn from others,I work with little or no supervision.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI am diligent, efficient, honest and I am a team player.l learn faster and I am a goal getter
ReplyDeleteAdd a hard worker. Best response so far.
DeleteMost of the other answers Na zero.
Steffy and Castles’ answered are ok too.
because you need my vast experience to reach your next laid out target
ReplyDeleteBecause I can repair any bed I break.
ReplyDelete@Blackey
DeleteAnd what happens to the hips you crush?
What happens to the babies that will die?
What happens to the marriages you break?
And the hearts (of ladies whose husbands' beds) you break?
What happens to the God you chant?
π π π π lemme go and show this to my uncle,
Deleteblackberry!
blackberry!!
blackberry!!! na how many times I call you? biko nor use laff finish us for house abegπ π π π
Blackie come and answer your auntie oooπ€£π€£
DeleteWhere's your sense of humour@anon22:06
DeleteYou've become holier than the pope.
Blackberry you no well at all ooo! ππππππ
ReplyDeleteBecause I am cute. This was actually the response given by a candidate during interview for a job in a construction company.
ReplyDeleteBecause if you don't your competitor will.
ReplyDeleteI've got lots of potentials which will be good for the company and the brand they are portraying.
ReplyDeleteBecause am a team player, being a strong part of a multi disciplinary team member, my input is important in the team
ReplyDeleteI have transferrable skills to bring into the company such as this this and that
I like promoting health and keep people out of hospital, being one of the goals of the company
I am a fast learner, being a .... has made me adaptable to roles, i will fit into the role quickly without much training which will save u time and resources
Training and development, i strive to improve on my skills and knowledge quite often and I believe this will impact on what i bring to the table, you want knowledgeable workers in order to achieve the goals and visions of this prestigeous company.
i have strong leadership skills, able to mentor and collaboratively work with junior colleagues to produce output and meet targets, at same time providing support and encouragement, i hope to further develop my manegerial skills in this role if given the opportunity.
Lastly, i possess organisational skills, this helps me to multitask and prioritise when given a task within a given time constraint. Thankio
i have the required experience.
ReplyDelete