Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Friday, December 07, 2018

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Na so.......








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED ASAP



Hello Stella, My cousin and aunt asked me to post this and get opinions from you and fellow bvs. My aunt actually called to remind me if i have sent the story to "Stella dikoko blog" Lol! 


So my aunt and cousin (lady) came to my house yesterday, we were gisting when I asked after my cousin's (her son - let's call him Tony) fiancee and when the wedding was holding. Na tori enter. 


 To begin, this my aunt lost her husband at a very young age (30) and has been catering for her kids alone; she refused to remarry even if she was very pretty and had so many suitors, she refused saying she doesn't want anyone to molest her kids especially the girl. She would sell okrika from morning till afternoon then rush home to cook And then sell food at night at bus parks.


 She trained her children well. Then my cousins were like ajebota they spoke well. My aunt really tried. She made sure they lacked nothing.


Tony was extremely intelligent. He eventually got a full scholarship to study abroad and got a job in an oil company and they sent him to their branch in Nigeria. Since then, Tony has been sponsoring his sister in the university and taking care of the mum. In fact he instructed the mum to not work. He opened a provision store for her where she doesn't stress herself because she has sales girls. 


Tony finally bought a house after some time and his sister and mum live with him. Oh! They live peacefully. The mum and sister take turns to cook. They eat and gist together like one big family. Tony wasn't serious with dating because he felt he was fulfilled. Till my aunt pestered him to take his girlfriend (let's call her Sandra) serious.


Sandra came into the picture and Tony explained everything to her concerning his family. She was cool with everything. Tony engaged her and she was sleeping more in the house quite often. Then wahala entered. She started giving attitude to Tony's sister and his mum. She would be making side comments and all. When they are all going to church she would grumble that only she and Tony would enter his car that his mum and sister (tony bought her a car) should use the sister's car. They actually understood all these and wouldn't bother following Tony to church and they left the cooking to her anytime she s around. They would even eat in the room so she can have the dinning table all to herself and tony. 


All these Tony didn't like.

The last straw that broke the camel's back was when she told Tony out rightly that his mother and sister have to leave they can't stay together after marriage.

 Tony dragged her to his mum's room, opened the mum's leg where she had a very bad scar where she was running with her food at night at the park because agberos were chasing her away from the space. She fell into a gutter. Then he screamed that Sandra should get out he would choose his mum over and over again. That where was she when his mother suffered to train him. 


My aunt and cousin begged and begged him but he refused and chased her out. After sometime, my aunt explained to him that she would rent a house so peace can reign, he refused. She even suggested they move to the boys quarters to give them privacy. He said God forbid. That last last he would just get a baby mama than to allow anyone treat my aunt like that. After all they have all been through together.


My aunt has been calling Sandra to forgive Tony and come so they can talk things through, Sandra hasn't picked her calls. My cousin even suggested she and my aunt forcefully rent a house and leave but my aunt says that approach will make him depressed (Tony is highly emotional). In this situation now what's the most appropriate approach? They would see the comments. Thanks I'm anticipation.....




*Let the Sandra go,she is not a good one..Even if she does not want to live with her Mother in law,her approach is bad and her intention is to break up the family.

Most women do not feel comfortable if their mother in law lives with them but hey come on,there are ways to go about it.I will never support this kind of behaviour...
Let Tony eventually let his mum relocate to the Boys quarter by the time he is ready to Marry again if he does not want her far away from him...

134 comments:

  1. The Sandra worry abeg. Even if she returns, she will pretend and cause more problems after their marriage. Your aunt tried abeg. Can't suffer finish and start dealing with that type of daughter in law

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is Sandra the only girl in the world? He should Let the girl go and look for someone else. Secondly, you guys should check that your aunt well. Sorry to say, she could be the bad egg here and just pretending. Butvjust because sandra is outspoken, you guys think she is bad. Let tony get another girl and see if this same story will repeat itself. If it does then your aunt is the problem. But if it doesn't, good luck.

      Delete
    2. Wait o. I nor understand. How u go marry me finish come expect me to say with your mama and sister for the same roof? E nor work na. Shuooo.... Tony if u continue like this you nor go see wife marry o. Just kuku marry your mama na. Mummy's boy! Imagine him saying he will get a baby mama. Lol... I laugh on urhobo! Your mother is controlling you with remote. I'm sure you're up to 40 years already. Leave your mum and sister alone and start your own life doh

      Delete
    3. I always believed no woman can stay with in-laws,until I started dating....
      I stayed with my parents for some years before getting my own apartment when I got a job.
      Some ladies left me cos I was staying with my parents while some saw it as big deal.Some related so well dt after parting,they still communicate with my folks.

      U will see girls dt will love staying wt ur people but not from Jan to December. U also need to respect ur wife...she too wants to walk naked in d house,do dt thing wt u whatever, whenever and however....

      Her approach might be wrong,which I totally detested but u need not to be selfish. All parents have suffered for their children in one way or d other...

      Solution:get an apartment for ur sister and mum or u get one for urself...don't agree to ur mum staying at d boys quarters, doesn't make sense.....Guys are protective especially to mothers

      Delete
    4. I always believed no woman can stay with in-laws,until I started dating....
      I stayed with my parents for some years before getting my own apartment when I got a job.
      Some ladies left me cos I was staying with my parents while some saw it as big deal.Some related so well dt after parting,they still communicate with my folks.

      U will see girls dt will love staying wt ur people but not from Jan to December. U also need to respect ur wife...she too wants to walk naked in d house,do dt thing wt u whatever, whenever and however....

      Her approach might be wrong,which I totally detested but u need not to be selfish. All parents have suffered for their children in one way or d other...

      Solution:get an apartment for ur sister and mum or u get one for urself...don't agree to ur mum staying at d boys quarters, doesn't make sense.....Guys are protective especially to mothers but needs to take things easy.

      Delete
    5. Some people are just too quick to judge. This is a one sided story. Poster you don't live with them in d house o. They just told u fake gist and you brought it to sdk. Continue

      Delete
    6. If Sandra was a bad person I don't think your aunt would have recommended Tony takes her serious. Something changed in the dynamics of the relationship in that house. Your aunt and cousin have more reasons to feel entitled to Tony and his space... They suffered for him etc. Tony would not find any woman who would be GENUINELY open to living with his mum and sister. All these girls shouting Tony pick me are pretending, they would do worse if given the opportunity... I won't judge till I hear from Sandra...

      Delete
    7. D issue is not Sandra...it is d attitude dt "I can't live wt my in-laws'...

      D guy believes his wife must stay or live d mother while Sandra thinks otherwise...That will not make her a bad person,that is what she wants and believes in,that should make her a bad person..Everybody is entitled to their opinions and hold no apology to anyone....

      D guy should move on,so also Sandra.They will see partners that will accommodate their differences and it good for her to have said it before marrying rather than pretending from d onset....wch should not criminalize either behavior.....

      D guy needs to chill.Sandra parents,just like any reasonable,caring and loving parents also sacrificed and paid d price for their children to be where dey are today....

      D guy should either get a house for his wife and kids and another for his mother....not everyone will like d idea of living with in-laws after wedding and for 365 days...Haba

      #Benjy

      Delete
    8. Abeg is Tony available, I'm available o

      Delete
    9. God bless you Modella!

      Delete
    10. Be true to thyself8 December 2018 at 04:03

      I started living with my parents inlaw after marriage. This was not part of the design. They are old! My mother in law is cool and does not meddle to a fault. I learned to accomodate. Was that what i wished for??? Mba. If my mom were homeless wouldn't she stay with hubby and I till accommodation is sorted out. My mother in law is doing ok health wise and will soon be leaving with her hubby (father inlaw comes often). People be patient and realistic. Brw this man didn't hide the situation of things from the beginning, so she had a choice to not be ok with it and move on. She is deceitful.

      Delete
    11. Tough chronicle. Torn between a mother who gave it all and a fiance/lover.

      If Tony and Sandra were really close (talking), she would have known the bond that exists among them (mum, sis,Tony) and will be prepared to integrate into it. Not all women/ladies would like to do that anyway.

      Also, Tony messed up really by dragging her to Mama's room to forcefully show her the scar and declare he would pick his mum over and over again. No fiance would want to hear that. On that note, she may not be able to forgive or even forget easily.

      Bro Tony, pls learn to be patient next time, Love your folks but not to the extent of declaring their preference over another woman who would be by you for the rest of your life God willing. Move on and let Sandra be

      Women, learn to understand your man and decode the kind of bond that exists between his people so you know if you can cope before you take the relationship too seriously.

      Mama, your courage and sacrifice God has repaid abundantly. You have to let your son Tony have his space. Remember you were not with him during his schooling and internship abroad and nothing happened to him. Encourage him to be a man. You already knows he loves you which will make you happy till your last days, help him settle down so he can give it all to his wife and kids just like you did. Don't make him Mummy's boy at this time. You are independent as you have shown, pls give him some space.

      God bless you all.
      #hadeyhalaba

      Delete
  2. Is Sandra the only girl in the world? They should leave Tony to stick with his decision. With time he will heal and start dating again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. * kneels down *
      Mama Tony, good evening ma. Have you eaten ma? Did you sleep well last night ma?
      Hope the mosquitoes did not bite you kaka...
      I am Monkey...
      200yards wife material.
      I love living with my in-laws
      And I have always prayed to marry a man who has just his mother and a sister.
      Reason being.... I also LOVE my sister in law.

      Tony nko?
      See me see excess love.
      Please consider me as your daughter in law ma.


      Dear Tony.
      I love you. Talk your own

      Delete
    2. In everything you do,you have to apply wisdom. Sandra hasn't even entered yet and she is complaining. The man is yet to wife you or even propose.
      And I'm sure this sandra won't mind if it's her own mother staying so she can help her with kids.
      Mama won't even live forever and the junior sister will get married and soon leave.
      I have an aunt that the mother inlaw stayed with them and they were even really close. She's the one that nurtured all her grandkids that all my aunt did was breast-feed. The babies even slept with her. They never had issues. She also rotated with another child's house and went to the village when the kids got to school age. By like their 7th year of marriage she passed away
      Unfortunately.
      If you want to marry this sort of man you have to consider his bond with his mother. It can't be easily broken. Wait till you enter the house before you start giving suggestions. You can properly table mama getting somewhere maybe close to the house. But you don't do it with force.

      Delete
    3. I understand where Tony is coming from and I also understand Sandra's plight. Some women will even pretend to love the arrangement and after marriage they will begin to show their real colour.

      Sandra wants some privacy which is not a crime , maybe she didn't handle it well but for crying out loud most mothers suffered for their kids, that doesn't mean they have to live together forever.

      If Tony wants his mum to be respected even if he decides to dump Sandra, he should make sure mummy has her space. Tony can rent an apartment or build som
      ething for his mum but please let his mom have her own apartment. It is heathier that way. Even if it is the boys quarters, fine.

      Then again it is important for newly weds to have their own space and privacy. Let them enjoy the first few years of their marriage.

      Tony should bear it in mind that there is time for everything.Even the bible said a man will leave his parents.....
      Manage both parties and make sure they are happy.

      All the best.

      Delete
  3. Your family is a nice one if indeed you explained as it truly happened .Because it's even the mother and daughter that will chase that witch called Sandra out




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true, @ STARRY they are even begging her. My dear the truth is, the girl's approach is bad, if your cousins marries her ehh, she will scatter that family, she doesn't have a good character at all if all what you narrated is true.
      I will advise your cousin to move on and date other girls, let him not use his koro koro eyes and enter one chance abeg.

      Delete
    2. Let Sandra go her way, she’s not meant to be part of the family, she doesn’t want her hubbys mother in her house so that’s her choice. Someone else who is more accommodating will come along.
      Your cousin is taking this “my mother suffered for me” too deep, yes your mother counts, her opinion matters a lot but most girls will not feel comfortable staying with not just their mum inlaw but the sister join. They just need a more homely girl that can see herself as their blood. Sandra is not the person for him

      Delete
  4. Tony I love you come marry me jor infact I will marry your mum first before you. Good child that remembers his mums suffering. But my dear husband don’t you think it’ll be a good idea to let mum relocate to the back so I can twerk and run around naked for you ?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL......THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND SANDRA

      Delete
    2. He is your husband already? πŸ™„πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

      Delete
    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚@Cisca

      Delete
  5. Sandra, is disrespectful as far as I’m concerned. There are many ways to kill a rat and no be one road lead to market. She could have handled the situation better and if Tony is not interested then his mother should stop feeling guilty about it. Yes, most women want to feel like “owners” of their man and his property but blurting it out in front of his people is not the way to go. She could say it stylishly in a way that is pleasing to the hear when they are alone and he in a good mood. I mean him never even marry her but she is already acting like this.

    As far as I’m concerned it’s always people from poor homes that hold tight to silly things like “you can’t sit in front of my man’s car, you can’t do this and that”. I’m more concerned about getting to my destination safely and where I stay in the car as long as it’s not booth Is not my concern. Tony, is better off without a lady like that. He doesn’t need to show her his Mum’s scars to get her to be civil. She is selfish and lacks home training.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear poster, let Sandra go God will give Tony a wife that will love and respect his mother.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The mum should give them chance abeg. Tony should rent an apartment for his mum and sis or better still, Tony should move out and rent his own apartment. I'm not supporting the Sandra girl because her approach towatds the whole ish was very bad but this Tony of a guy should grow up. Couples need privacy sometimes. As for me I can't deal mehn... I can't stay in the same house with my in laws o. Biko. I rather beg hubby to rent an apartment even if it's a room and parlour. Can't deal mehn. Hian

      Delete
    2. @Modella
      Are you serious about your first statement; the mother should leave for Sandra?
      Do you have Sandra's kind of character?
      Man go just take im hand carry cobra put for house say na wife?

      Delete
    3. Mark 10:7 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,


      The man leaves, not the mother or parents okay.
      But the Sandra girl does not look one bit like a wife at all.

      Delete
    4. Self-centred, inhuman and disrespectful women, most of you! When it is to your favour, you start quoting Bible verses "....and the two shall become one". Nonsense and Ingredient! But if its the wife's mum or siblings, they can stay in the house forever, not the husband's. I pity any foolish man that will trade his family for his wife's family. We shall all endeavor to live in peace as a family until there is enough resources to sort out my mum and sibling - any wife that doesnt like that arrangement, should take her exit and return at the appropriate time (i.e. if another woman has not already taken her place).

      Delete
  7. She never enter house she don already show herself. Let her go biko. If not for the mother the well to do Man shes seeing today she for no see am. The Mil is even good trying to reason things out. it's a really small family that can be managed. The girl is not wise or still very very young.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam Kool down...wat if Sandra says her mother too nearly died sending her to school therefore,must stay wt her...

      This is a simple case,d guy made it complicated.their is no big deal in staying or not staying.
      People's view must be respected and u move on if u know u can't bend ur rules.....

      I see no wahala here...let them keep on looking for d person dt will accommodate their fantasy.......d guy needs to respect others,other mamas too sacrificed for their children.

      Delete
    2. Even if Sandra say her mama nearly died taking care of her, na her money Tony take buy house? Abi na she get the car? The Sandra babe no gel at all. If it was her parents that wants to come and live with them she will be comfortable but whosai for mama Tony wey born Tony come suffer for him head. Make Sandra park well hate!

      Delete
    3. Anonymous 23:07,ur point is baseless and I believe u are lady.Relationship or marriage is not based on properties.some people got married as students and without anything and today,dey have built empire together..ur "na she build d house or na she buy d car "is a bullcrap coming from an adult. Sandra is not asking Tony to change his property and dt of his family to hers.....she only communicated her will and Tony also did d same, so, their is no issue..There are thousands of people dt will stay wt in-laws and without in-laws,that doesn't make them a bad person.

      Tony also needs to respect other peoples background,millions of parents sacrificed for their children to be where dey are today,some didn't wait to eat their labour,some didn't even witness their children wedding....

      Communication is good and I can see dt both of them engaged on d topic and stood their ground before getting married....Tony needs to respect and love any lady dt will come to his life....wife and mother are different being.

      Delete
  8. Everything will fall into place once they are married. From the story, his mother is a good woman who would not want to have issues with her. Anybody that is marrying in African setting marries the family. A respectable family will always draw boundaries. She has not even entered, she is already causing trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  9. My elder brother failed many times in life, somedays he will stay indoors for months cos of unfulfilment. Our mother was his rock, she talked, begged, adviced, gave did literally everything to see him stand on his own. Today he's doing so so well. He always say the day any girl he will marry will say any insultive word to his mother that day she will pack out married or not.

    I totally understand your aunty's son. Its hard to see the person that helped you in life being treated rudely. it's hard to take in. The fiancee should have known how he got to where he is and respect the mother more. She should go someone else that can accommodate others will fit in well cos she definetly not change but become worse after marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Biko,introduce me to the Tony o if his mum is really as understanding and deep as you said, i really don't get though family will be family no matter what,why try to drupt the bond as an outsider.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg shift. Do you know if the mum is the troublemaker? Sandra may be innocent u know

      Delete
    2. Anon 16:01 u are right! Some mil are the troublemaker but they pretend and act like the daughter in law is the bad person. I feel this story is one sided.

      Delete
  11. Abeg introduce me to Tony o if his mother is really as gentle and understanding, was genuinely angry reading this why try to disrupt a family bond as an outsider ?family will be family no matter how bad..

    ReplyDelete
  12. Poster is like your aunty and cousin like suffer head. See as God dey remove their trouble , dem dey busy dey beg am make she come back.

    Sorry to say this, your aunty and cousin need hot slap to reset their brain of goody 2 shoes... Nonsense

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Malle 😁 (/@ my future mother in-law)

      Good afternoon ma.
      Please notice my comment ma

      Delete
    2. Monkeyface you be weyrey walahi! hahahaha

      Delete
  13. Y is Sandra going crazy na?
    It's not like she's being maltreated, is she? Or are they choking her deliberately?

    Y is she trying to divide a happy family? Can't she be considerate and put things in the right perspective?
    I am happy that the young man has not allowed pussy to twist his brains.
    I think your cousin has done well.

    Sandra or any other lady with that attitude will only sow sorrow and discord in that family becoz she wants total control of her man. Terrible approach.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wonder o. Trying to cause discord in a peaceful family that have gone through so much and now God has blessed them one girl is coming to scatter.
      The peace and love you guys hate must be maintained. In today’s world, it’s not very common

      Delete
  14. Nonsense, they should forget about Sandra

    ReplyDelete
  15. We're Africans and can't hide that fact of living together as one big family. But Tony will someday need his nuclear family, as a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Modella or whatever stop jumping around this comment section you fool!! Are u mad ni.. were did they say that the aunty and cousin will remain in the house.. have they actually married this sandra and she is behaving soo awfully like this.. pls the sandra should go.. she is very very stupid.. am a newly wedded wife and you wont believe who introduced me to the best man in the world! His mom did.. she was my patient and in that few seconds she could see my heart.. she pestered and pestered her son before he finally called me.. Of course i wasnt aware.. how dare you come into a family and try to seperate them! how dare you be this foolish in your approach.. dat sandra should never come bak into the family..

      Delete
    2. Useless anon, why abuse modella? I mean it's her opinion you foolish quack doctor

      Delete
    3. Anon 16:56 your words are 100 percent correct

      Delete
    4. Anon 15:56 so because you are married you won't let us hear word after getting married as an old hag! Hope you never reach menopause? heheheheh you still have mouth to say your mil introduced you to her son. You should be aahamed of yourself that you couldnt find a man of your own. Pls respect your mil very well o. You know she brought you out of singlehood. Ode. Come out of anon you coward.

      Delete
    5. Let there be peace
      Peace be still
      I prophesy peace

      Everyone, sheath your swords; hold your peace.

      Modella no vex, Doctor pls don't be angry. Both of you are correct. We can't be on thesame page all the time but we have to respect and accommodate each other's opinion

      #hadeyhalaba

      Delete
  16. I'm a married woman and I can tell you that I wouldn't want to live with my in-laws for anything, because issues will always come up but approach and attitude is everything.They have not even married her and she is acting up like this? She is not a good person I must say. Sometimes it's good to allow things run its natural course, she is just engaged to him and she wants everyone to clear from the house like its an automatic thing. she will eventually bring so much discord into that home if he marries her, Sandra abeg, find your square root.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you anon 15:28. Na only u get sense

      Delete
    2. See this comment ma? I don't have a problem living with you at all!!!! 😏

      Delete
    3. And there’s a Yoruba Saying.... “ko seni to maa lo diiidi ro ejo arojebi nile ejo” nobody would go to court for the purpose of getting a guilty verdict”. Of course, the mother would not tell the story and make herself look bad. I’m sure it’ll be a different story once we hear Sandra’s side. Mils are not that easygoing, especially those who feel they really suffered for their child, especially the son. They see anybody the boy marries as practically a slave and will always rub it in at any opportunity that “you might be married to him but I run things here. So you better do my wishes and worship me or else you will be sent out or I’ll make sure life is miserable for you”. I for one don’t believe that the girl was that rude and the mother and sister are still begging the guy to marry her. That’s not even realistic in a home where the mother didn’t suffer as much as this one. If a mother wants her son to grow, she should release him to start his own home once he’s of age. Living with your mother while taking a new wife is actually detrimental to marriages.

      Delete
  17. Please you people should stop begging this Sandra abeg. Her attitude stinks. Tony will find another girl, someone more well behaved and more deserving. Sandra is not th eonly girl in the world pls. Such bad attitude.

    ReplyDelete
  18. You never even enter the house complete, you don begin show yourself. That is they type of man that will take good care of a woman. The code is just to make the mother happy and the man will be happy. whats the deal with quarreling with your inlaws sef. I only hear this gist from unsuccessful women. when your are successful and humble, which mother in law will have an issue with you?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Truth be told, it's uncomfortable having the mother in law and sister living together under the same roof no matter how nice or civil anyone can be. However if you love a man, you should accommodate he's family and love them like the way you love him vice versa'' and TBH if that's what happened according to the posters story. Sandra is trouble. Runnnn because when he eventually marries her. We will recognize another chronicle loool.

    ReplyDelete
  20. God has been merciful to show you signs..take heed and listen...unu bakwa-oso...
    Home Breaker Alert!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. I can understand the Sandra intentions as no single lady would love to live with her MIL because of the fear of having issues in the nearest future but HEY dear approach does it because truly there is something about Family which one should not play around with. The MIL is even understanding as some would cause trouble for you before you can say JACK, so as it stands now, the both parties can talk things over and if it is not making any head way they should part ways and find their true loves...Everybody go dey alright las las

    ReplyDelete
  22. Dear poster, please tell Tony to come and marry me I will forever love him,his mother and sister. Tell Tony I lost my mum when I was thirteen years old. Tell him i need a mother I grew up but never felt her love becos she died when I needed her the most.i will love to be part of tony's family

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Malle, please ignore this comment for mine.

      I am Tony's BEST OPTION

      Delete
    2. @monkeyface
      The face up there will make Tony's mum cringe. Lollll

      Delete
  23. Sandra will not make a good wife,God just saved tony..mumsy can go to the boys quarters or rent elsewhere but that Sandra no bad news.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Sandra's aporoach was wrong but the Bible says,"A man shall leave his mother and CLEAVE to his wife".

    Tony lacks wisdom too because there is nothing wrong with his mum and sis moving to the bq.

    I like Sandra because she didn't pretend to like the arrangement and change after wedding.She simply displayed her displeasure and that doesn't make her a bad person.It's a weakness on her part.She needs to learn to be more accomodating.

    I hope she calms down but if not it's not the end of the world.Kisses to your aunt,she has a good heart.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Epistlegang abeg chop kissπŸ’‹πŸ’‹. Tony needs to grow up plzzz. He is not a baby. I like Sandra cos she didn't pretend like other girls who will start showing their real character after wedding

      Delete
    2. Girl like Sandra!! She's real

      Delete
    3. So u can be happy wiyw yourom in your bq

      Delete
  25. Poster pls I need a family like Tony where my mother in-law will cook we the children will eat, when I born mumy will carry her grandkids while I go my business at ease

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's my mother in law. I have time for my business and I am comfortable because the kids are in good hands.

      Delete
    2. Amacastel,...trust me,that will be used against u one day....u will one day be reminded dt it was ur MIL that took care of ur kids.

      Delete
    3. Are they not get kids too, don't forget they answer the man's name not my father's, akuko

      Delete
    4. That's not true. Don't always be negative. If you take your MIL as your mother,u will always work things out. People have been doing it. Its better sef she brags about it in future than entrust ur kids to strangers who might molest them.

      Delete
    5. Anon 16:30, everything must not have negative connotations. MILs that takes good care of their grandchildren abound and they do it with great joy. The children are well mannered and both Father/Mother are not apprehensive about who is at home with the kids.

      Who would you prefer take care of your kids, a nanny recruited by Togolese or any of the MIL if your heart is large enuf to accommodate her for a longer period?

      Delete
  26. Someone has clearly showed what she is capable of doing when she is not yet a wife. Imagine when she enters. Tony will eventually meet a girl who will value his mum and sister the way he does. I pray he doesn’t take her for granted and I hope your aunt and cousin will treat such a one with respect.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Sandra is a very wicked girl. I don't get the entitlement mentality . If this woman didn't suffer to train her son,I am very sure she won't look twice at him. We always want to marry rich men forgetting they had a family that suffered to raise them. My mother in law once stayed with us for a year and six months,I was crying when she left. She has to visit her daughters too( we always struggle over who she will visit). If you see the way I was pampered, I was doing almost nothing bc I let her know my home is her home and she should feel absolutely at home. She took me as her daughter and I love her a lot. If she didn't raise her son well I won't have married him and I appreciate her role in his life. She doesn't even want to know what goes on between hubby and I, bc she believes no third party should be involved in marriage. I don't get why some people can't love their MIL like their mother. My mum loves my MIL a lot and has already warned me that anytime she hears me complain about MIL,that I am the guilty party. Madam run from that girl she will destroy ur family....... I have been married for 7 years with 2 kids and I always look forward to her visits

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My MIL(my wife's mum) is so so loving and caring. I look forward to her visit. My children does to. Unfortunately she has to take care of my FIL who is a little "strong"

      On my part, my mum really can't travel much also for health so my dad wouldnt allow her stress herself with travels and I miss that alot. My wife misses that also. My wife and kids are super excited going to Lagos early for hols this year so they can spend time with our mums.
      God Bless Your Home. God bless your MIL.

      #hadeyhalaba

      Delete
    2. But you have MILS that come and go. Not ones permanently staying with you who were already there before you came. There’s a huge difference there. You wouldn’t understand until you’re in those shoes. You would live in your marital home like a tenant who’s also a sex slave and a servant basically

      Delete
  28. Replies
    1. Abi o. This is a one sided chronicle

      Delete
    2. Modella
      why you dey urinate for every comment like this?

      Delete
  29. hmm na wa women wahala the girl's approach is not good at all and in as much as she does not want the mother in law to live with them which is quite understandable but wisdom is the key. her attitude doesn't show the attribute of a good wife there's a way to go about it instead of becoming irritated how long will she keep being that way we women need to know that we're not only getting married to the man but the family as well. he needs to think things over as she might not be the right person and baby mama is not the best option. he also has to set boundaries between his mom and sis and his wife not that he shouldn't care for them but each of them should be cared for in such a way that no one feels like.A good woman should respect the fact that the mom went through a lot.i think the lady is this 'my house' type of women

    ReplyDelete
  30. She should continue begging o.. using her hand to invite ESU In your son's life and house because you're a good MIL...

    ReplyDelete
  31. Tony should leave the house for his mother and sister, let the house be a family house, where he can always visit in the future. It is always his house.

    If he has no fund to buy land and build another, he should quietly rent an apartment with plans in future to build another house where he will live with his new family.

    I did same. My parents live in the house. I have my room in the house where I pass the time some weekends, I don't live there. Most of my siblings all left the house even, since they work in different cities but they still visit home once in a while. The house is like a family house. I already bought another land, saving up to start building another house.

    It is not good to keep your woman and mother in same roof. There will always be problem, women are wired like that.

    However, please don't advise Tony to even have anything to do with that Sandra, a girl with good intention should have told Tony to rent a flat somewhere so they will leave the house for the mother and siblings.

    For sure it will be difficult for a mother and daughter-in-law to live 24/7 under same roof.

    However, in this case, the person to leave is the guy, he is young and doing fine and can start from scratch but how do you expect your mother to start from scratch?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly, most men need wisdom to handle their mothers and wives.

      I can't live with my mother in law at all because I tried it and it didn't work. She wass always finding faults and reporting me to hubby. She is this, she is lazy , every thing is an issue. You can't even be free in your own house.

      Always watching one and keeping records of what you didnt do well, indirectly insinuating you are not good enough for her son. Meanwhile all these period I was sick, as in sick and depressed.

      So my husband borrowed himself brain and realised that our relationship is better apart. He doesn't want to offend his mum and also doesnt want to hurt me.

      So she comes , spends time with us and goes. Your mom suffered for you does not mean she is perfect and can do no wrong.

      Delete
  32. My own is why is your aunt begging Sandra? Abegi make she waka go. When eventually Tony meets the bone of his bone your aunt should move out but not one girlfriend or wife calling the shots. mtschew. SDK longest time

    ReplyDelete
  33. You have not married a woman. She is acting this way. What happens when you get married to her. Please let her gooooooo

    ReplyDelete
  34. Are you sure this story happened the way you painted,over the years I have learnt not to give advice to one sided story. I was in that girl's shoes months back but the difference was he has both parents,he built the house when he was overseas,so he came back and stayed in the house I came visiting,they turn me to cook,I clean cook twice a day,wash the mom's bags,mob the floor.After cooking I don't take food oo I wait for her to serve us even if it's 12mid night haha husband matter strong abegi.They will give you instructions how many things to use,if you see rules and regulations for my first visit,don't touch this rice use this,why did you use this palm oil you should have asked,drop it never touch it again,na wa for some kind homes oo.The mom will bring out everything you will use in cooking if you take extra maggi problem,madam is not ready for marriage,you will tolerate your in-laws and they will tolerate you too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol.... Some people are just too quick to judge. This issa one sided story. Poster you don't live with them in d house o. They just told u fake gust and you brought it to sdk

      Delete
    2. OK o. Sandra has replied

      Delete
    3. I’m very sure this story is a one sided story. His mum can’t be this nice and the girl will act like that towards her, even if they are nice to her now they will still trouble her later

      Delete
  35. Sandra Sandra
    A woman suffered to train up her children and thankfully they're all comfortable now. You don see soup wey done you wan come divide happy family ba?
    Make una let her go abeg. She hasn't been married she's already being territorial.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A woman suffered to train her son. The man's family and entitlement mentality. The way that song is sung all the time makes me wonder if parents don't suffer to train their daughters that eventually become people's wives: change their names, channel all their resources into developing their new homes...

      Delete
    2. No matter how nice a MIL maybe, having her and her daughter in the house of a married son is a recipe for disaster.

      Delete
  36. Let Sandra go oooo she's a witch, what is there in leaving with your mother in-law and Sister in law atlist she's comes around Often I believe she's has know the kind of person they are...is even easier for her when kids start coming someone is always there for her..Abeg make she carry her jezebel character go.. tell your Aunt to stop calling her that woman is really Nice ooo kaii..witch Sandra wanna come and reap where she did now sow.. Omoale..

    ReplyDelete
  37. Everyone is asking tony out on annonymous mode...lol

    My dear if tony reads this, let him know I'm interested incase he needs a good wife not Sandra's type ooo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Get your pants ready he will use u for rituals. Forget what this poster is saying that he got a scholarship bla bla bla. He is a yahoo boi

      Delete
    2. Na una type Tony go use do baby mama. Shameless lot

      Delete
  38. Sandra has a bad attitude. However when it comes to marriage, a woman needs her space abeg. No woman wil tolerate living with a mother inlaw after some time. Where’s the freedom to be yourself around your husband, where’s privacy. It’ll get super overwhelming. Tony’s mom and sister should move out and have their own space once tony gets married. They don’t have to live too too far away.Tony is too attached (mama’s boy). A man and woman leaves their parents house and become one. When a man marries, it’s his own family first then parents and others comes next. Grow up tony if you’re ready to settle down ��

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will never be able to live with in laws and their nonsense wahala.
      I need my space abeg plus I get my own too for body so I'm not sure I'll tolerate any sort of misbehaviour from them

      Delete
  39. Tony does not want a wife. He has everything he needs in his mother and sister, the mum was the one who initially forced him to take the babe serious.

    If someone is serious about starting a home/family without drama, then you need to create a separate space for you and your wife, doesn't mean you love your mum any less or that you do not appreciate what she did for you. Even the Bible supports this (leave your mother and father and cleave to your wife). What's all these unnessecary drama for... Let him get a baby mama, that's what most likely suits him but when baby mama drama starts, he shouldn't come with another chronicle. #originalmamasboy their wahala too much.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Sandra is not a gud lady,atleast she ought to endure,and my advice fr d guy is too move his sister and mum to d bq if it is condusive,cos of future recurrence.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Tony come here ooo good wife's plenty for SDK...

    ReplyDelete
  42. Good riddance!! Your aunty doesnt know what God has done for her. That girl had better stay faraway from them.
    God bless Tony and give us more men like him who wont condone rubbish in the name of love.
    Those of you who start unnecessary inlaw wars without reason, had better learn.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Sandra is a typical Naija girl, reaping where she did not sow.
    Women wey "easy virtue" be them handiwork. She gat no place in Toni life.
    She is bad news. Tony na ATM and forkunizer where she be. She go show am nwiii
    if he attempt the attempt.
    Tony mama na typical Naija "homely naive mother" wey want grand pikins. She no mind
    who born am. But if that kin Sandra abi na Sandals bear those pikins them, she fit
    never ever take eyes see them and that one go kill am faster than no grand pikins.
    Tony should run away from everything that looks like Sandra.
    I don talk am o.

    ReplyDelete
  44. First of that Should be the mother's house...from the onset he should have explained to her or any girl that it is his mother's house..(family house) . She deserves a house a car a maid a shopping plaza if the finance is there.she deserves all and her husband is not alive....people build houses for their parents
    The guy should leave that house,rent an apartment date and marry from there
    Not everyone got the same upbringing and experience,some folks are mad.
    Fine.. Couples should leave alone especially the first few years of the marriage , but her approach is horribly terrible..
    this is just the beginning of more to come..it's a red flag already,biko

    ReplyDelete
  45. If all you typed here is the truth, then..

    God bless Tony. God bless him again. Let him keep looking for a wife cos he's yet to find one.

    ReplyDelete
  46. I'm a married woman and I cherish my space and privacy but that doesn't give me the right to tell my husband to let his mother and sister go. It is wrong in every way. I was in a similar situation. Even some of hubby's friends were staying over. As soon as we got married, he stopped his friends from sleeping over and rented his mum and his little sibling a flat. And I still reserved a room specifically for his mum whenever she comes to visit. If u are not comfortable with anything, wait when he is in a good mood,then calmly open up to him. But be willing to compromise. That is marriage for u. There's nothing like shining eye for her or showing urself

    ReplyDelete
  47. Sandra is not a good girl. Tony's mother should let her be. Every human should be able to tolerate. Your aunt should be bothered about the kind of girl that the Son gets married to instead of trying to be a good Mother-In-law to a silly girl. Sandra is the kind of a girl that enters a family then turns it upside down. The type that would 'hit pigeon' on a man's head. She is an uncultured girl.
    It isn't easy living with In-laws but there are ways to go about everything.
    I would advise Tony to let that place be a family home and get another place for himself and future wife. The Mother and Sister should not move to the BQ, on top wetin na? .
    He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord,Proverbs 18:22. A good wife o. There should be no rush when it comes to marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Couldn't he have explained to Sandra the sacrifices his mum made to make him the man he is without opening her legs?

    ReplyDelete
  49. Sandra is not a good child. I see people saying " send the mother to the boys quarter", are you guys okay? If your children in future sends you to the BQ how would you feel? If he can't rent or buy a house, his mum should better keep on staying with him. Until then he should not marry anyone because even me won't like to share house with in laws or any other person. He can get another lady, why is the mum even begging Sandra? rubbish. Are there no other ladies? He should get a place for them but for them to stay in BQ is what i don't support.
    His mum should also let him be, he doesn't seem interested in marriage, atleast for now.

    ReplyDelete
  50. I have learnt not to make judgements on one sided stories. A lot of the time context changes depending on who is telling the tale. For the mum and sister to be calling Sandra to beg and talk things over and Sandra is the one to have cut off, events may not have played out in the context that has been portrayed. I know its very easy for a statement like "Honey, let's find another place for your mum and sister for us to have more time for ourselves" to be interpreted as "So you want to kick my mum out".
    Oga Tony, shey you done chase de Sandra comot. As im no work, let matter rest and find someone else.

    ReplyDelete
  51. If the sister and mom are begging Sandra that means Sandra na good girl na, just that she's straight forward. She doesn't want to leave with mil and sil in het house once she's married. Maybe she feels Tony is a mama's boy, he has no time for her always surrounded by these 2 women, hence Sandra wants them to use their car to church....why were they even using the couple's car in the first place? Anyway, Tony never ready to marry na they should leave him. When he is ready he will go out and rent or buy a house for his new family.

    ReplyDelete
  52. BV Modella which time you turn to Sandra, na only u Waka Come. C as she dey troll comment section like say she know d poster.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Honestly I detest girls that start giving orders before they enter, imagine the louse called Sandra! Please my dear Tony just rent or buy a hose for your mum, DON'T PUT HER IN YOUR BOY'S QUATERS PLEASE, no matter his your future wife lives with your mum trouble might burst!!! So for posterity relocate her. But one important thing you must do is to pray, TELL GOD TO GIVE YOU A WIFE THAT WILL LOVE YOUR MUM AND SIS, PRAY IT FOR AS MUCH YOU CAN, also tell your mum to start asking God for a daughter in law that she will love. Pray it while you are working, driving etc then watch God give you the best. Don't worry, all will be well.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Tony shud get his Mum her own place or beta still arrange the BQ very well for her to stay. no woman will be comfortable living with husband's people. he can look for an orphan girl to marry who will appreciate family,then the mother and sister shud respect themselves.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na there see finish dey start.You will be at their beck and call. Na you go cook, clean, do everything even that yeye sister will fold arms.

      Sandra had better run from these people. She will not hear the last of I suffered to train my son.

      Delete
  55. It takes time for a guy that the mum has gone through hell and back to train to forget. Then one babe comes out of no where and starts dictating!! Please Sandra is not a kind hearted person, if she was, she would not give automaton, Good he threw her out!! Thumbs up to tony. Now my dear Tony the truth is that we women for reasons we can't explain can't stay together in one house peacefully with our fellow females. So that being said, for the future please move your mum and sister out to a really nice place, you can buy it for her, set up a nice supermarket for your mum. Then get a wife. You may even test the women by taking them to your mums place, make them believe that you want mum and sister in the house around you, any girl that accepts it and doesn't raise dust marry the babe and take her to your own house then let her know that your mum must be welcomed to visit you anytime. Forget the freedom, fighters. All these women giving orders, I hope when its their turn they won't be worse mother in laws. Your mum should stop calling the Sandra girl, she is not her daughter in law abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Sandra's approach is wrong although she made salient points. But it was too early to start this drama. She needs her privacy but her way of pursuing it is totally wrong.
    I also appreciate Tony that values his mother's efforts over his life.
    If Sandra is a patient person and going by your narration she stands to enjoy the family by the time she starts having children.
    Tony needs a calm, patient and understanding lady to fit in , in his family.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Some girls like stress. If you have a good MIL, you are blessed, she can live with you talking care of her grand children while you do you things. She should relax and enjoy the family. Tony should look for another girl that values peace and happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  58. That sandra smoke shit??? Whatttttt??? Mehn good riddance to bad rubbish. Tony would be doomed if he marries her, God forbid. The family should be thankful that God exposed her true character and saved tony from marrying a bad wife. Trust me the worst thing that can happen to any man is to marry a bad woman. And sandra no good atall. She would tear them apart. Tony should ask the Holy Spirit to give him his own wife.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Why is your aunt not telling you the truth nothing but the truth, how his sister was treating Sandra anyhow because she want to marry her brother, or how his family were doing all those stupid testing testing thing to a woman to know if she is a wife material downgrading her into a maid?, side comments and badmouthing. How you know he will pick his family over Sandra and great her anyhow behind him and smile our wife in front of him? Or constant accusations of cheating, stealing , dirtiness? Good riddance to bad rubbish , infact make Tony marry his sister. You know how people who never thought they will see Money behave right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This must be Sandra or someone who knows her.

      No matter how she was treated, it takes wisdom to handle this kind of situation. Communication with Tony is key. Demanding they move out is way too confrontational. Hot pepper dey burn mouth o.

      Delete
  60. Tell Tony to forget about Sandra and focus on important things. You cannot find mother in the maker you can buy a wife. A word is enough

    ReplyDelete
  61. Sandra should have applied wisdom with dealing with this issue. I personally don't subscribe to living with in-laws, I love my privacy and peace of mind above all things. She was abit insensitive, its a tight knit family, she shoukd have understood that and found a way to convince the guy, that as soon as they are married, the need their privacy, his family should move. They can maybe return later to help with the kids. As for Tony mama's boy, that one is another unstable person, yes she was rather insensitive but i think he overreacted by chasing her out that way, anyways, he needs to marry someone more understanding, cos he seems like a lot to deal with, my advice to him is to tell the next babe that he's very close to his family because of what they've been through, but they'll move to the BQ or another apartment as soon as they wed. That's if and when he's ready to settle down, cos it seems you people are the ones forcing him to...... bottom line they'll have to move eventually

    ReplyDelete
  62. There are women who are like Ruth. That is the standard of a good wife. Love me love my dog. Sandra doesn't love Tony truthfully. And Tony doesn't love Sandra either. Let them go their ways. Tony will find a woman who will love his mom and sister too in addition to loving him. But he should be able to realise that a maΓ± leaves Father and mother and cleaves to his wife. He has to be able to draw the line. And living together under the same roof with your mother and sister is a no no. Tony now has to sit down and make up his mind if he wants to have his own family or not.At a certain point, he must leave his mother- mentally and psychologically but that doesn't mean you don't love her. From what I can read here, his mother would be happy for him to be married and have his family. Let her pray for her son.

    ReplyDelete

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