Hmmm....serious something indeed!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WASTED YEARS OF DATING
Dear Stella,
This life is just something else! You never know who your true/genuine friends are until they show you their capabilities! I personally have been hurt one too many times that I just mind my business and stay off helping people or asking for assistance!
Dear Stella,
This life is just something else! You never know who your true/genuine friends are until they show you their capabilities! I personally have been hurt one too many times that I just mind my business and stay off helping people or asking for assistance!
All I do is ensure I keep an open mind and stay friendly with everyone in general and nothing personal!
Last week, I returned home and met a crowd of people in our compound o. It was the young spinster that resides in one of the apartments.
She was about to commit suicide but was divinely rescued by another neighbour who had earlier heard her wailing and came to ask if she had rope or sniper!
Hmmm... Out of curiosity, the woman who didn't hear any sound went knocking and almost turned back until she heard a loud sound. She was able to force the door open with her younger brother who was washing at the time.
The story is hush hush and after one of the neighbours, a doctor checked her pulse, they began counselling.
It turned out that the guy she had been dating for 5 years since Nysc and had been sponsoring, feeding, clothing him and even accommodated him in the city while he was jobless eventually got a good job and then realised that she was no longer good enough for him!
He moved out and began living in the high brow district with his new girlfriend who she had suspected he was cheating on her with when he began work. She became like a ghost after he moved out. We barely even saw her at all. At night she would wear black jalabia and not utter a word to anyone!
She lost her job same time he got a job and rather than assist her, he was silently seeing another lady who would have not even looked twice in his direction when he had only a pair of shirt and chinos!
Madam Stella, I can attest to times I have seen her wash and spread his two popular shirts on the wire and his cream coloured chinos. After a very long while, I saw her washing and spreading new shirts and different trousers!
In my observation, this spinster would never come to borrow the tiniest matches o! She would go to work as early as 5am before we open the gate and come back by 11pm after we had locked the gate!
My husband and I silently would pray to attend their wedding when the time comes but after this suicide incidence!
She disclosed to the doctor and my husband that the boyfriend had gone to do traditional marriage with the same girl he was cheating with and the white wedding is this December!
Her cousins were contacted and she has been taken to her parents house in the village for supervision and recovery.
My people, which book do we write this matter now! I am a mother, would I tell my daughters to beware of poor boys or go after only rich boys!
Because this is a very sensitive issue o! People reaping where they did not sow! Later when problem start in the marriage, they will say Na village people! He Just wasted 5 years of her life on nothing!
I will like to see people's reaction to this matter because all we hear now are girls dating men for money! How about the ones struggling with men with nothing!
Ìts a pity it ended this way but the best revenge ever is to get back on your feet and decide to live...Killing herself over this doesnt make sense..If you have her contact forward this post to her....tell her to get back on her feet and live...They always come back begging.....Revenge is sometimes best served COLD. *tongue click*
Queen and boss don kukuma deh sing am like song. It takes meb with a heart of gold to reciprocate a loyal chic that was with them through the very bad days .
ReplyDelete"meb?"
DeleteNne MAN, dey read before you post na.
Una go talk say na autocorrect be this one now.
E get any word called meb?
Girls stop supplying sex to a man that hasn't paid your bride price. He will not marry you.
DeleteWhen he sees a new sex toy, he abandons the old one.
Such people never go unpunished, theres always a payback for that deceit, you used him/her as a ladder & you think it'd go smoothly for you? Ask the elders to tell u from years of peoples experiences! If its a normal & straight forward breakup, its different.... but when uve promised that person & made them believe it'd all end in marriage, then i bail, just wait for karma to knock!
DeleteAnon 15:21 meaning she can't spell men or man but she wrote all that? Your stupidity is from the gutters. Aturu imbe.
DeleteI am comfortably sitted on this table. Just that I wasn't housing or feeding anyone.
DeleteAt 34 I just ended a toxic relationship this past weekend. The guy was such a liar, deceitful anything bad thing you can think of. I was jilted some time ago by my supposed fiance that went ahead to marry someone else. Found out 3months to the wedding that is story for another day. Stayed off relationship for a long time. Till I started dating again late last year. We had been discussing marriage everything till I noticed a change in him. This weekend we had an explosive fight.
Found out this guy had told me so many lies about himself. I have even shared on this blog before about him claiming to be an Engineer and he is always broke and looking for loans. I loaned him 50k which he hasn't returned then I swore never again. After he kept pestering me for another loan soon as my salary was paid last Friday. I just said this is the end. Not to talk of the fact he is even toxic and doesn't have good character. This guy has been out of a job for a while and claiming Engineer/business man.
It had been a long distance relationship so I wasn't prevy to his day to day life. Only few weekends we see. I am just thankful I didn't loose my life,my dignity and even more money because I suspect this guy of being a scammer.
This posters neighbour may even be in just her 20s. It's so painful but suicide is not the answer. No man is worth it.
Soon I will be 35,I'm heartbroken but iv decided to remove my mind from those that will call me gwegs, those that will mock me for being single.
I have a good job, I have my parents(who are very understanding) and my sisters. All those aunties that will be asking me how far during Xmas.
I leave them in God's hand. But I am not going back to be with a liar,toxic and jobless man that will drain me financially and emotionally just because I want to be married. I ended things this weekend. It's been hard but I will get over it. Smthn always told me this wasn't my man but desperation for marriage pushed me into the situationship.
Anon 15:21, you have no single brain cell. What's the next letter to N on your compouter keyboard. Dumb ass!
DeleteGirl, you did the right thing. I met my husband at 37, we got married two years after. We have two kids now. The right one will come. Hugs.
DeleteNothing will happen to him. He will be alright and nothing will happen. Is it today that women are leaving men when they get better education or better care with another man’s money?
DeleteHe should marry because of pity or what? I will tell my daughter to only date someone on same or higher level as her but if she chooses to marry someone less, don’t come and complain that he left when he became richer.
My sister presently wants her husband to come to USA while she is struggling with children in naija. I believe in love o but I know my hustle as a man and I know what women use my eyes to see when I was new in yankee without papers. Now very very rich girls are running after me and I know there’s no way a married man can escape that temptation. If you want to be a ladder for any man or woman for relationship sake then that’s no problem but me or any of my clan will never be a ladder for anybody! So many women here that their husband brought them here, they turn RN finish, they now know he isn’t making good money and he is this, he is that! What’s my own? I will straff them and go!
Ladies and Gentlemen, it is not your problem if poverty wants to kill anyone. Love is dead! Follow security of your future even as a man don’t go and marry broke ass woman ooooooooooooo
Your head really de touch, but you spoke well sha
DeleteOne advice I got from someone close is that one should never spend on a boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteMany ladies in love are guilty of this.
It is well with her
Guys have also spent on ladies & they dumped them for "richer" guys! It goes both ways!
Deleteso true ooo
DeletePoster similar thing happened to me too. My ex lost his job 2years after we met, I took care of him, paid his house rent for 3 extra years, fed and clothed him. When I was serving , I will travel all the way from Benin to owerri to visit him every weekend, cook with my money and drop some cash for him too, was giving him 10k from my allawi every month. This useless guy will use my money, carry girls, fuck them and they will eat the food i cooked. He got a job and shunned my way, I jejely went my way in 2013, he lost the job same year he got it. I heard he became a jr pastor in the church he worships. January 2015, the guy sent his wedding i.v to me via text, I congratulated him and wished him happy married life. My people, this marriage no last a year, his wife left him. Until this day, the mumu still dey call me for phone for reconciliation. So poster she will be alright last last as long as she never cheated on the guy. The guy will surely live to regret his actions towards her
DeleteSee it’s not by washing and cooking that would make a man stay. These things happen time and time again it’s important as a woman or man to know when it’s time to move on. Five years is a long time but she should take it as a blessing in disguise and a lesson to not put all trust in one person especially men.
ReplyDeleteTo say the truth, men like “wicked” women. You know the ones that can’t bend over backwards for them and that show them pepper are the ones they would most likely worship. All this washing, cooking, and doing all sorts would only make him think you’re desperate. Hence, why it’s easy for them to go for the one that won’t do one third of those things. She should grieve but know that she’d find a better man. 5 years is not 100 years, she should start job hunting and be herself in her next relationship. Like Stella said, best revenge is your “paper”, it won’t be easy but it’s always worth it because he may or may not regret leaving her but she’d be better off with a man who appreciates his woman.
Leave the washing and cooking it comes with relationship. She was spending cash on the guy. Helping him out financially. We have done that one time or the other for a lover. Men are real scum.
DeleteWashing and cooking comes with a relationship? 😂😂😂😂 no wonder I keep looking younger because I don’t do jack apart from go to work and read when needed. Say no to slavery, you people won’t hear instead you’d prefer to do gymnastics on top relationship. Why it’s easy for the men to walk away because you spend so much time doing “mummy” things. You ain’t his mama and would never be. If he can’t afford a washer or dry cleaning services then he should by all means carry bucket and soap and get to work. Have you seen my nails? Lmao God abeg save your children from suffer Head life. Men are scum agree but when would women have sense? Ehn when? Do what you can Cos it’s what you want to do and out of love not because you expect some kind of reward in the form of marriage for it.
Delete@ Doppleganger don't mind them, let them continue washing, cooking,babysitting and fucking one good for nothing boyfriend .even hubby sef one needs to apply wisdom.
DeleteYou are so right about the wicked part, lol.
DeleteI am not wicked ooo but i am not nice either. All my friends do say I may never get a man to call my own because I don't have chill and am extremely selfish when it comes to my happiness. Even my mum cried once when she saw how i treated most men while saying"will you get married like this, you this girl, you are so harsh" lol.Yet i married a softie i didnt wash or cook for nor did i clean his room. Here we are so in love and i thank God for us everyday.
Someone asked him why he proposed to me and he said" she is so real, a No nonsense woman who never cared if I stayed or left, she acted like diamond and at a point i started to believe it".
I was always the one breaking up relationships while they beg to keep me.
Some of my friends on the other hand are so gentle and soft, really nice ladies but they always meet not so good men that i was fed up at a point and we had to get a restraining order for one of the guys after he almost made her blind with incessant beatings and she almost became blind and couldn't see for days.
I am happy my friend is now a badass and don't take nonsense in her new relationship.
Women need to be selfish, yes love, but with your head. You come first before anyone and your happiness is paramount.
I pray for healing on the lady for there is light at the end of the tunnel. She will rejoice!!!
Anon 16:19, you just said it all. Some women don't know their worth. I pray God gives the lady a reason to smile again.
DeleteI dint cook or wash anything for anybody abeg, stop doing wifely duties when you are not yet a wife, cus even if they marry you they do so out of pity. Ladies stop pls stop
DeleteDoing house chores for a guy doesn't make them stay, the one that will love you for who you are will surely meet you. How on earth will a man that claims to love you wholeheartedly allow you to be doing house chores like a maid, he doesnt even have shame and still collecting money from a woman. It is well.
DeleteTell her to be happy and stay strong. God will strength her
Oh my goodness
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to this lady
What wasted years indeed!
Men are Polygamous by nature. if you girls will only allow to marry more than 1 then there wont be all this problems. our fore fathers weren't married to social media whatsapp every minute monitoring spirits that you women have become. Ask any woman, they will quickly say i cant share my man. you share your man daily! there are more women on the planet then men. thats why women are more forgiving in nature than men. If you dont want to share please become a lesbian.
DeleteAnonymous up there,there are not more men than women in d world n also in Nigeria.please feel free to do your research ....
DeleteThey are more men than women in india, china,etc....so according to your proposed solution,all the men who won't share their women should become gay abi????. Knucklehead😂😂😂
DeleteWickedness
ReplyDeleteShe was just his saviour during his trying times
Let her not kill herself
I pray she gets a better job and bounce back big time.
The best cure for her is another good man in her life. if not bouncing back will take longer. This kind of situation can deal with you mentally. Even a new job now her mental state can ruin it. She needs a new man.
DeleteMe that just ended a situationship 34 going on 35. What should I do?
DeleteI'm at work kampe.The tears have been threatening to drop all day,especially while chatting with friends trying to comfort me.
But deep in my heart I knew this wasn't the man God ordained for me. You are supposed to have peace around a man that will be your husband. I never did,it was daily fights.
Its even my job keeping me sane.
Stella, you just said it all.Life is a teacher.The more we live the more we learn.She should pickup herself and put herself back together.It's not going to be easy but she can do it. she's better off alive than dead.and yes she needs to be alive to see how karma gets its fair deal for her
ReplyDeleteAs long as ladies are not willing to learn, it is always going to be the same story. Quartering and feeding and clothing a man of course fornicating will not make him marry you.
ReplyDeleteYou are just a means to an end. Which jobless and "homeless' Nigerian man will reject free food, accommodation and sex?
Ladies visit this blog in years and fail to learn the basic things we learn here (though this one may not be a blog visitor).
Ladies are you listening, If you are waiting to marry a good man, keep your body pure, do not live in with a man that has not paid your bride price.
Encourage this lady to move on; it is difficult because, she has given herself and possibly aborted for him etc.
Learn, ladies, learn.
....theres nothing to learn, when youre in love all these things u mentioned isnt a big deal, infact you do it with joy! You clean & cook and make love without holding back.. so dont say ladies learn! Theres nothing to learn there, heartbreak will always occur & reoccur.
Deletehonestly I agree with u people will be talking as if dey av never fall in love. people will be saying don't have sex don't do this how many can proudly say dey did not have sex before marriage. I courted my husband for five good years before we got married and we have been having sex three month after dating and we still married and doing well. when one is wicked forget it sex or no sex is wicked
DeleteThat part of "not holding back" is what people call "LOSING YOUR SENSES".
DeleteYou can get into a relationship but don't forget to take all your senses with YOU or else you end up giving your all to a man whose main objective is to suck you dry.
You only know your heart, what you feel towards that person, your true intentions for them but do you know the heart of the other person?.
As for me.....avoid long courtship. Once a guy is dragging his feet regarding marriage and you're not 18, please take off. Men hate 'yes' women that are always trying to please them. We must all teach our daughters self love and self worth
DeleteChai! Very painful. Cry no more my dear. God sees the heart. She will be rewarded with her own man who will love and adore her.
ReplyDeleteNever spend on men until he puts the ring.
ReplyDeleteSay no to broke man. The Lady don't know what to do. Use his clothes to deal with him
@Yori
DeleteNa so you fetish reach?
Later now una go dey chant "God, God"
Which "god?"
Ndi Pharisee
You must be stupid
Delete"Use his clothes to deal with him"
DeleteQuoting you:
Please tell us exactly what you mean?
The thing never clean o, na you write am up there.
The person i pity most is the wife he is marrying now...if she didn't snoop well to know he just dumped someone for her then, she will inherirt curses that has been prayed on the guys head. He may lose his job mysteriously or they may TTC
ReplyDeleteI wish the heartbroken girl the best nd pray she gets back on her feet again.
As in eh. the curses that will follow him. I pity the wife. When they fail to prosper after marriage they begin to run from pillar to post looking for answers, the man forgetting his wicked past.
DeleteTrue Bianca, thats how ppl get into mess! But i believe if your hands/heart is clean, you wont get a guy thats cursed from his past, you'd get a deserving husband...
DeleteAnon 1539 that\s not always the case o. Some guys are just oloriburuku and affect everything they touch. I know so many women who became collateral damage unwittingly. This is why one needs to query any man very thoroughly o.
DeleteLike a fluttering sparrow, like a darting swallow, so the undeserved curse doesn't come to rest. (Prov 26:2). The girl is not completely innocent if she committed fornication and maybe even abortion(s) for the guy. Did her parents know that she was feeding, housing and fornicating with a man she wasn't married to? Did the guy promise her marriage and fail to keep to his promise?
DeleteNever date a poor man, he is humble because he is broke. Advice my aunty gave me and i held on to it and it worked for me
ReplyDelete....not all oh, my sister dated a broke guy & married him, infact she practically paid for that wedding, but when this man started making money eh, you need to see the blessing & adoration he shows her! Marriage clocking 10yrs, he doesnt buy anything in his name... na she de say put it in the kids name, so not all men oh.
DeleteWait for a man to marry you, mbanu.
ReplyDeleteYou move in open legs dey supply free fork and food everyday. Guy man don chop clean mouth na. Lady mugu don dey wan kill herself. What a shame. Naija women don cheapen womanhood and reduce am to "take 200 free, before you buy one". Shame dey leave una dey catch me o because na so these heartless men dey view us, yes all of us. If you go car repair shop hear wetin these men dey yarn about Naija girls eh, you go feel this shame, even if you don marry well well.
Eeyah...i feel her pain
ReplyDeleteGod will judge the guy, she should get back on her feet, the right guy will come
But it's painful sha!
I wish I can have her contact
ReplyDeleteLife as we know it has never been fair, lots of matters remain inexplicable & mysterious.
ReplyDeleteExperiencing heartbreak is kinda like a rite of passage in everyones lifetime, some hit harder with no sign of it coming, its not enough to attempt suicide, over what? A deep emotional pain that'd be healed with time?
I felt like slapping that opportunist of a man while reading this.
ReplyDeleteI don't blame those that don't spend shishi on their man whether boyfriend or husband.
If only she didn't sacrifice so much for the guy,she wouldn't have been so pained.
Move on already babe,its just one of those things
hahahahaahahahahahahahahaha I dated my ex for 8 years and he broke up with me and expected my mum to come and beg him. I took care of him and his family, bought him and his parents cloths, send money, bought food stuff (what didnt I do) Momsi nor gree o(God rest her soul) she said a better man will find me. Guess what...The best found me. Tall, rich, caring, very handsome, intelligent, a giver ha! He is my testimony. So tell her to move on biko, God will provide her a job and a better man.
ReplyDeleteThis is not strange nah...as a matter of fact, ladies do this most. If you know you can't withstand the disappointment, please don't spend on your girlfriend or boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteYes Sky, ladies have dumped good men that helped them climb, first they love you then when theyre on top, they start dating their colleague, youre now lower class to them, thunder no de ever fail to fire them.
DeleteHope I wont turn out like this... 6 years relationship, no headway yet...
ReplyDeleteSister, give urself a brain oo. Let him take the bold step or you move on.
DeleteAre you a tree?
DeleteI put it to you that youre there cus youve not found a better suitor, dont act like youre doing him a favour
If you are supplying and "enjoying" fork, na like this you go be o or even worse.
DeleteI wonder the kind of Love that will do some girls for them to be baby sitting a grown ass man. I can't fit.
ReplyDeletePersonally For my relationship to work you ve to be the MAN and let me be the girl. I give you the respect you deserve you take care of me and the home. If I can't respect you we can't work. Some girls re trying.
You see your life! He should take care of you, is he your father?
DeleteWhy is it ok for a man to spend on you but you cant spend on him... ole.
This is soo sad but giving up on life is not the best solution. It's like letting him have the last laugh. Mbanu!!! She should pick up herself, look for a job, start a handwork, invest on herself. Let the pain be her driving force that will make her a better person.She will rise above the pain. She will one day look back on these painful days and laugh. It might look like the pain won't end but it definitely will. It will end in praise
ReplyDeleteI like your response. Especially about making the pain her driving force. Me I channelled my pain and anger into my career and business. 20 years later I can now smile and of course people came crawling back.
DeleteEnter your comment...hmm so sad
ReplyDeleteGod will fight for u
She was in love with a man who was needy and had nothing to offer, acting like a mother replacement for your boyfriend does not make you his girlfriend or wife to be - Why will he not stay. when he is on a free ride.
ReplyDeleteWhat if they got married what gives the suicidal woman the impression the man would spend his money on her, if she has been the one slaving away to keep a relationship.
Women learn, if a man a'int serious about you, let him be - He does not owe you anything because you choose to spend your money and years on him - You a'int his mama. Love is not blind. Wise Up
I used to think I knew it all. Was very careful not to spend my money on any guy. Then he came along and I forgot and spent and spent and spent. One day after an incident it seemed like someone opened my eyes. I took a job I wouldn't ordinarily have taken but I did because it will take me out of Lagos. I moved to Enugu and within 9months got the best job of my life. He got married and so did I eventually. But he is one man I don't regret not marrying. Story for another day. It's easy to say 'don't give a man your money' but it happens to the best of us. Just pray not to meet them! Poster this man left for a better one to come. It's tough but you really need to talk to yourself.
ReplyDeleteI use to tell my friends never spend on a man they wont hear..best I cook for you, but giving you money, housing you and other expenses never. all my friends who sponsored their weddings are still sponsoring marriage till today...I never knew how much hubby earned when we dated but I knew he would take care of me because he gave from the little he had and i would do same. today I spend on my home without blinking ,buy presents for my hubby and give to both sides of the family when I have cos he pays the major bills. if you spend on a man you can never tell if he can take care of you or not. also responsible men take care of their responsibilities and not depend totally on a woman whether rich or poor..if you earn 5 naira, you should bring out 2 naira for expenses at home and a good woman will always support her man.
ReplyDeleteBroke men are always humble, never take care of a man alone.
ReplyDeleteA relationship should always be reciprocal, else you create room for resentment if things don't work as you hoped.
hmmmmm....
Deletemy ex was broke and so full of himself. I loved him with everything I had, still do.
but I have learnt to love him from afar.
I didn't delete his number or pictures. we never broke up, I got tired and he didn't call either.
5 months now and I have stopped crying cos of him. not all broke guys are humble nne
Some men are scum !!! Just imagine this nonsense. Ladies always shine your eyes .
ReplyDeleteShe will be fine with time cus time heals every wound no matter how deep the cut is.My elder sis almost scenario but now she's better.
ReplyDeleteIf only she knows that God just answered her prayers. I dated my ex for 6 years and a month to our introduction he decided to ghost on me. He won’t pick my calls nor reply my messages. After 3 days I stopped calling. He started calling again after 3 months and I told won’t pick his calls nor respond to his messages. He drove all the way from Lagos to Abuja to settle scores... but I refused to see him. I had moved from my apartment and got another place. He went to my office, I saw him from the CCTV and called the security to tell him I was on leave. I called over 500 times for the 3 days he spent in Lagos. We met when I was 30... so he felt because I was 36 as at then, I would bring all my ancestors to beg him not to jilt me. He got the shock of his life.
ReplyDeleteThank God for God and FIN. That group has taught me a lot! The guy man still calls me every single day for the past 3 years now. I have blocked him but I still s was see his calls and messages.
I have not said a word to him since the day he decided to act up. I have zero tolerance for bullshit.
My sister you are strong. Presently going through a break up also. Alot of these men believe once you enter your 30s they are doing you a favour.
DeleteOne told me I should be happy someone like him is dating me. Afterall he could have gone for a younger girl. I just said aiye me o,you that is manage I am even managing you. You feel you are doing my a favour? I had to walk out.
I pray God settles all of us ladies with our heart desires. Being over 30 and single is not easy. My saving grace is I don't even receive pressure from home. All I receive is prayers and encouragement. But society in general hmmmmmm. See the way Toke,Linda are all bashed for being single. They are not even 40 yet. Even people over 40 are still getting married.
Thumbs-up
DeleteStella it's not as easy as you think. Me that this man jilted after 8 years of being together we didn't break up no fight no nothing. To think that we were even together the last weekend before his trad two Saturdays ago. Leave am some people are just from hell. Like I said earlier moving on is not as easy as you say. Some days I just feel hopeless but God dey
ReplyDeleteI agree it is not easy but God has delivered you from a great evil. The man knows in his heart what he has done and the repercussions that will follow him will last for generations sef. Please don't feel hopeless. Allow yourself time to grieve but forgive and move on so as not to let bitterness dwell in your heart. BY this time next year you will be thanking God. Write this date down.
DeleteMy dear poster just take heart,mine happened this year,the guy I was dating after spending the weekend with him eating from same plate and all,after visiting my pple last year,went to do Intro behind my back to one little girl,somehow I got to find out through his friends God used to open my eyes...guess what? I did nothing.i only called him Telling him that I knew his plans.i stripped naked and cried for days to God for vengeance with psalm 91 on top of his head.after wards I clean eyes moved on,I be fine girl with better job and have it all going for me by the grace of God,guess what? After 4 months ,after his intro and fixing date for the Mid this year for his wedding he shifted it to Xmas from Xmas he canceled and said his is not marrying her again lmao see confusion everywhere,now his in shame and so is the gal and her family......guess what? My own wedding is this Christmas after I started listening to another guy that has been on my case since and we r shutting down the whole place.....hahahahah if only pple know who God is and what he can do when you cry to him and send him to fight...he is a consuming fire.that gal should fight in prayers no need taking her life.
ReplyDeleteWhich vengeance, which God, you fornicator?
Deleteif only pple know who God is and what he can do when you cry to him and send him to fight...he is a consuming fire
DeleteThank you for this line. It spoke to me and my situation . I caught real rhema from it. Thank you very much!
I cried top God last night and there's been major improvement in my health. I will do same tonight.
To*
DeleteKudos my dear,trust me God listens.just pour your heart out to him.
DeleteSo sad...
ReplyDeleteJust like a BV said above, the sweetest revenge is a better man.
I pray God gives her a better man, far far better than the previous.
sad! life is somehow sha I do hear of men who testify and praise their wives/fiance for standing by them during difficult times but people like this are time wasters and they already know they won't be with you but will benefit from you first and then show their true self. again ladies should stop sponsoring men as this makes them insecure. they'll rather look for a woman they can Carter for
ReplyDeleteLet her try to forget it. It is really painful 😢but she has to move on, that is the only way, she will meet a good man. & that guy that dumped her will definitely regret it.
ReplyDeleteMy own case we dated for 4yrs, 1yr out of the 4yrs I dashed him airtime worth at least 20k, cos he would always request & I had to form good girlfriend, he borrowed 55k from me & never paid back. This is same person that cannot give me Kobo,he only spends when he wants to see me, no gift, nothing, with marriage promise. He is not broke,he dashes people money in my presence,he pays people salary,he lives high class & drives classy cars. He will act like he is a saint, always claim he will do this & that for me but never did anything. I kept on holding on him simply bcoz he promised to marry me, he will make me meet with his relatives & they keep calling me wife,no action taken towards making it happen, I guess he wanted me to be a baby mama cos sometimes he will casually mention it & I will be like come meet my parents first,(no way I can be a baby mama to a man that I can't boast of him spending on me) I foolishly thought I was investing. The only difference is that I was not doing any washing & cooking, whenever I visited him we order food or eat out, he has domestic workers that do his laundry & cleaning. But this year February I borrowed myself some sense & stopped being a mumu after an incident that clearly opened my eyes, plus a dream I had about him. He wasn't cheating but he never wanted to marry maybe cos he is a single father. I stopped caring about him, stopped calling. He started doing the calling ,forming over caring but still won't release money, but I already had my mind made up. I left for good, when I realised he was desperate with some actions he made I blocked him every where & moved on. I mourned my wasted years & money.
Guess what in July I met the love of my life, he does everything this ex never did & I'm having fun being happy. So girl dust up, get up & move on, it's not easy but you are strong & can do it. Some men are just there to waste your time, use you & don't have any good future plans for you. Deal with it & move on, not by killing your self, you are too precious for that!
Next year, another babe go still send her own chronicle after reading ds one. 5 whole years! Mba nu. After 6 months and u no talk better, Zikora don waka leave u be dat. If u want to leave me, leave me but u will not go with my heart and soul. Na me hold d key and I no dey release am. Make women gather mind dey look out for themselves first na. Dz guys no dey drink Loya milk at all. May God heal her and dash her sense to do better in future. Ndo nne.
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy to say no to someone you love when they ask you for financial help. But I want to beg you ladies if you are sure you don't want to do it, or you are not so strong willed then don't ever give a man your Kobo cos once you start you cannot stop. It's easier said than done. I used to say I can't spend my money on a man but I tried it once & kept doing it, he was the first man I ever gave money & he is the last, I later used my sense when I realised he wasn't ready to settle down, I let go.
ReplyDeleteDoppelganger said it right. Most guys or men generally prefer the bad ass or babe that doesn't act like they care, they are the one they run after. Once I left the idiot I became heart broken & really harsh, that's how they all won't stop following me about, until I settled down for one cute sweet softie, if you see my man out side you won't believe he is a softie with his 6" 3 height & well built body. He would sometimes tell me babe please I hope you won't give me a heart attack one day & I will reply if you think so then it's time we break up, but for where booboo went ahead & now we are married & doing great. I finally realised it's way much better to have a man that truly cares notwithstanding your bad attitude, he will always stand by you, love you as long as you love & respect him in your own way. Before I was dating men that people perceived to be hard & strong headed. & if So many of them men are scum. Chose wisely.
Secondly let babes try not to invest in a man with the hole that it will help secure & eventually marry you, majority of them don't
Let me share a story that happened when I was in the Uni. Bro Yusuf a very tall, dark and cool bro who was a 400level Pols science student. He met Sister Mariam a yellow pretty 100 level law student. She obviously was the Jambite, an M.S.S member and all the traits of a good Muslim lady. Bro was based in Lagos while sis was based in Kano. Bro proposed and sister's family told him to wait till she was done with school, na so brother Yusuf started investing massively in her and her family ( trips to holy land and Dubai for her family) It was a no sex relationship as per religious beliefs and all. By the time Mariam was in 500level, Yusuf came for his regular visits, one thing sha led to another na so they decided to test the effectiveness of the mattress he was using for the night! He was spending the night at his friend's off campus flat( Sis will not step inside any type of hotel). I was staying adjacent to the place, na so we heard a painful scream around 12:30am, the next thing adult wailing, I rushed to my window to investigate the source, noticed where it was coming from, by this time the neighborhood was awake, rushing to Yusuf's flat, discovered he was on the floor wailing like bereaved person. He was crying with mucus drooling from his nostrils.... Wetin happen? For 5 years dude was under the impression that aunty was a "V", he discovered that night that his Banana CANNOT make any impact in Aunty's well. Last last, they didn't end up together!
ReplyDeleteDisappointments in relationships is not gender specific, it can happen to anybody regardless of your tribe, religion and state.
Just come out 12am..With bitter cola call his name amd say whatever you want to hsppen to him .After saying that chew the bittercola and swallow .Allow him he will come and beg you in future .Not a joke .No pastor can cure the terrible things that will come after him till he begs you .I did it and yes he begged with two wretched knees on the floor .asshole
ReplyDeleteHmm God, have mercy on me,you may think that your on case is the worst until see, read, or hear others mine is just months and he is the one that spends
ReplyDeleteIt's well. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
ReplyDelete