Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Mama Tee Series -Men And House Chores

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Friday, December 07, 2018

Mama Tee Series -Men And House Chores

Who made the rule that house chores are for women alone?







A friend once asked if it is an insult to tell a man(her husband) to try and do the bed whenever he wakes up.


Now the woman works far from home, leaves home as early 6:am. They don't have kids yet. She said her husband leaves home around 8:am so he would still be sleeping when she leaves for work.

His own is to wake up and leave the bed and the entire bedroom messy (he would litter his dirty boxers, shirts and singlets on the bedroom floor and mess up their bathroom too), go to the kitchen, open the fridge, warm his breakfast, eat and leave the dirty plates on the table, go to work, close by 5pm but enter the house by 11 or 12 midnight.


The woman will come back around 9pm and arrange the entire bedroom, do the dishes, arrange dinner for hubby and also see to it that breakfast for the following day is set, etc. A cleaner comes to the house twice a week to clean the compound and they also have a washing machine. She said she told hubby to try and do the bed whenever he wakes up and he let all hell loose. He called her rude, lazy and all sorts.


Her mum advised her to keep doing the bed. She should bear the stress for peace sake as all those house chores are the woman's job.
I was angry. Ordinary bedsheet he cannot spread on the bed? Is the woman not working too? the house keeper should be given their bedroom keys to have free access to it while they are both at work? Hian!

Why does the woman have to carry so much burden?

When kids start coming now, her job in that house will tripple. Poor woman!

That was how my younger brother visited and he would eat and go drop his plates for me in the kitchen sink, I told him 'woohaa' to be washing his plates. Haba! Kilode?
I will sweat all alone in the kitchen to cook food, serve you, only for you to balance, eat and drop the plates for me to wash, impossible.

In some homes where the husband helps out with chores, you will hear people especially husband's relatives whispering that his wife had used jazz on him and now controlling him. In fact, they will say she has turned him into a house boy... oh dear!

God is our muscle..

Mama Tee.




 Hmmmmmmm....This feels like reading something written in the year 1830....These days men help out at home,maybe not all Nigerian men but some do..........These days we have dish washers and washing machines helping out...you can get someone to iron out the clothes as well and get someone to clean out the house and make the beds.................its easy and should not even be a topic for argument.....haba!!

If you married a man that does not like helping with house chores,dont force him,let him grow into doing it or you just let the 'dog sleep' and look for ways to make it easy.

77 comments:

  1. Well.....some men don't see any biggie in it. But if your man is the type that don't like it please find a way and do your thing don't force it on him.

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    1. Same happened to be. Husband has OCD so he does most of the cleaning in the house if you even say you want to help him he will go back and clean the place you have cleaned already. Am cool Sha cos he doesn't make a fuss about it . It doesn't bother me sef. When we just got married we traveled to the Village and guy man carried that same attitude. See talk dere is nothing his siblings did not grumble about.. He kept them All in there place(my no 1 defender). There is no chore hubby can't do at all. He keeps saying we re in this together. PS. He provides everything and all. Biko marriage is a partership.

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    2. The first man is stupid

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    3. When my hubby is around I share some of the domestic work that the help doesn’t do, you can’t be in the same house with me and not help. Whose daughter to you want to kill?

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    4. Hubby does chores o. He even goes to market to buy groceries most times.

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    5. I do most of the chores at home, and I see no big deal in it, because I feel no one can do it as good. Hubby helps out in some areas. I work an hour+ away from home, so I get on the MARC early. He wakes up and makes the bed. He is a very tidy person, extremely tidy, so he never litters, but one thing he will NEVER do, is wash dishes, and I have come to accept it. He will NEVER do it. Sometimes, he feeds our daughter too, which actually excites him.Lol. As far as house chores go, there should be an understanding from the onset. If he never used to do it before marriage, donot expect him to change in marriage. The naija man’s perspective on house chores, is different from that of those who live abroad.

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  2. I can’t imagine my husband doing house chores or whatever!....
    A man that provides everything at home don’t have any business with house chores!!...
    The only men that deserves to do chores are those ones that has nothing to offer except sex!...
    You don’t expect your wife to be the bread winner while you lazy around..mba ooo
    You must do the dishes,go to the market,cook and clean the house..

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    1. Very true yarn!!!!!
      Nwanne mmadu, I na a daa ba ta zi ebea ka ikuku.

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    2. Most men provides everything at home and still help with house chores if needed. It's no big deal.

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    3. Queen Queen πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

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    4. My personal person πŸ˜†

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    5. Very true but som Nigerian men will sleep at home all day doing nothing while the wife will come back from work and clean his mess. So will even be beating the wife on top sef

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    6. Well it depends, my husband provides over 80% of our bills and still help out with house chores... It depends on upbringing.

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    7. Hubby provides 100% and still help a lot with house chores, cooking, cleaning the house, bathing the kids, take them to school and no complaints. He washes his clothes while I wash mine and the kids, we have a washing machine.

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  3. This kind of stories irks me so much.
    Why will both spouses come back at 6pm,but it's the woman who will go to kitchen and cook? After cooking, she will serve Oga. Then she will wait for him to finish eating and clear the plates and wash them. If she has babies, she must attend to their needs too. Oga will still expect night action.

    So horrific.

    I am not married yet o, but I won't marry any man who cannot do house chores. Suffer that I didn't suffer in my father's house, I will now come and suffer it in marriage. Tufiakwa! Chukwu aju!

    Women, if your husband's do not help out, do the ones you can do and leave the rest. Don't come and go and kill yourselves.

    Na WA!

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    1. My dear...some of them do before getting married but once they marry that's the end. They see women as the solution to their problems. U will hear some of them say "let me do and marry jare" I really don't know if its house helps they marry or wife. Anyways religious people, blame your bible that says the woman is a helper and also, the woman was made for a man.
      My challenge is that its still this same women that cry day and night,go to all the prayer centers in order to get a husband but na u go still go suffer for the marriage.I don't get, are u actually praying for God to take you to the "Suffering land"?

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    2. Very true anon 13:14, I heard some guys say their friends should do and marry so he would stop doing house chores as if it is a maid they will marry. Immediate they marry, they will leave everything do the wife

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    3. My dear thank you for the last paragraph.... God bless you for me... as a matter of fact that was me before i advised myself and took a new leaf. I almost worked myself out as a banker and mother of 2. All he does is lie down and press his mobile phone while i do everything meanwhile na me and am enter house together by 7pm everyday. I have said to myself, if there is reincarnation, I want to be a MAN, i cannot come and kill myself by myself OHHH.

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    4. Lol @ amaglo. My sis inlaw said same thing, that she will come back as a man. I told her men do a lot of work, she said like what? I said work and provide for the home, and she replied Not in America! Everything here is 50-50!in Nigeria yes, not here. Lol

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  4. Don't the ladies see the men like that before they marry them? They close their eyes to every other thing character and only open their eyes and thighs wider than rift valleys to pounding. Many move in or pass several nights with the man, sees them like that and even worse.
    "He is a good nice man", just once he dishes money like ATM and is pounding off their brains that's all. It is only after wedding, they will begin to complain; he does not wash plates, he does not clean floor, he does not bath buttocks bla bla bla. Shame on ladies who have reduced the value of womanhood to knock out ten and buy one.

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    1. I tell you. They will visit the man and do all his house cleaning, even wash his clothes saying washing machine does not wash well. After marriage and kids, they are weighed down by everything and they start complaining

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  5. Gone are the days men don't help in house chores. If he does not like doing it. Let him provide money for a house help or buy the necessary gadgets that makes work easier at home..

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  6. Do courtship properly mbanu. Na to fork on every house corner even on toilet seats,
    under the kitchen sink, under the bed, inside the boot, inside cupboards, just everywhere -monkey style,
    snake in the eagle's shadow, pigs in the gutter domot, all styles.
    Even if the man dey shit for siting room, una no dey care. After marriage, una wan make the
    man come transform automatically eh. Una no serious o.

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    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€£

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    2. Oh my world!!!! hahahahahahahahahahaha See me laughing like a jack ass here.

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    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ pigs in the gutter dormot πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  9. Welcome to my family house where my father and brothers are Lord. My Momma spoilt those men.
    My grandma visited the other day and started her own. 'you see your brothers you re their husband now oo, cook for them, clean for them now that you are still here so they will remember and miss you when you leave to your own house and bla bla" I was like mama biko it haff do. Your days and now is not the same.

    I don't mind my father, he has paid his dues he deserves doing nothing but just rest but my brothers they bring their friends home, eat leave dirty dishes for who? They enter a kitchen that looks so tidy fix noodles and can't wash dump everything. The one I share bathroom with will bring friends mess up the bathroom as a girl I can't overlook I ve to clean. If I leave it they re comfortable using over dirty bathrooms. Water purifier they will use and empty how to refill only 10secs they will leave it empty. If I don't do it no one will then there will be no drinking water.

    When I tell momsi she will say what you do here you will do in your own house. That I should see more and talk less for my own sanity. I love my brothers but I can't anymore abeg. I don plan how to run this house now till I leave. its either they change or we all live in dirt. Last last mom will step in and bring in order so they can sit up. You plan and cook soup and stew to last for some days they finish it with their friends. All this nonsense must stop come 2019 before I leave that house they must be responsible.

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    1. Your brothers are irresponsible sorry to say. You better call for family meeting and speak your mind. Why will they bring friends to the house, mess it up and expect you to clean? Continue cleaning God is your strength.

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    2. I still don’t know how they manage to finish the meal that’s been planned to last for some days at a sitting.

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    3. That’s where I am good, any friend that comes to the house I will sing song until all the friends get tired of coming, I will keep asking them useless questions about being tidy, they can call me rude all they want but I must talk even when I see them with a girl, my baby bro has this attitude, cus they over pampared him, by the time he chop insult in public he dint have a choice but to change

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    4. That is what they will tell you o. That you will do it in you husband's house as I you are go there for slavery.

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    5. Puffing browser wetin na?
      That is what they will tell you o. That you will do it in your husband's house as If you are going there for slavery.

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    6. Yours is better. My father doesnt even know his way to the kitchen. Doesn't know where cup,spoon or plate is kept. Talkless of him cooking. Suggesting it sef is disrespecting him. The domestic staff or any one of us kids use to get him even water. He can't get water himself. Does he even know where to get a glass cup. Even to change channel because decoder is in the parlour upstairs. While the 2nd decoder is down. My dad has a bell in his room he rings to call you. Just to tell you to change the channel for him or get water or whatever.
      My father is quite wealthy don't get me wrong and he is a 100% provider,our mother just does small biz to occupy her time. We all studied abroad and even have a home there.
      We use to have cooks here and there but in recent years after one planned with driver and stole in like 10 years no cook. But we have domestic staff while my mum does the major cooking.
      Xmas period use to be like hell for us because all the staff leave. Before you finish clearing and cleaning the kitchen for breakfast. My father will be asking for lunch. And my father doesn't eat ordinary food. Na like buffet.
      Morning freshly squeezed orange juice,fruits,tea at 7 before breakfast is served at 9.
      Then my only brother story for another day. He lives abroad in our parents house there. When I get there the house is so messy that my first day there, I wear gloves and clean the whole house. He will leave all the plates in the sink. I mean like 30 plates,20 cups,30 spoons. Every damn plate in the cupboard is used. You won't see a single spoon to use. I will soak them in dettol first before I start washing.
      I keep saying it the reason we have alot of messed up men in society comes from the home.
      My mother taught us girl. We must be with her in the kitchen while cooking while my bro is playing video games as only son. That lazy attitude has grown into him.
      Even our dad she spoilt him to the extent even light bulb or putting on Gen he has no idea if no staff is around.
      You hardly find good domestic workers now. So my mum does every bloody thing in that house when the staff leave which happens alot now. We always have atleast one but he can't do all in the house. My dad will never leave his chair to even get his own food.

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    7. Alot of Nigerian men are this way. Reason why they make terrible husbands.
      They have over pampered them at home. Because of first son or only son syndrome.
      My brother use to come home late daily. He doesn't get home till like 10/11. Do you know my mum would keep his food for him inside microwave. Meanwhile she doesn't do that for we girls. We eat whatever we see.

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  10. Enter your comment...men should help with house chores

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  11. This one is slavery. Please if you can't cope with a man that won't help out with house chores please don't marry him because he won't change after marriage. You both are help mates to each haba the work is too much already without kids involve..

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  12. Wow! Surprised reading this. Frankly I am always tired to make bed and my hubby knows dat. He makes the bed and tidy the house before leaving while I take care of the kitchen with the cooking. We are both working

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  13. who talk say na man suppose provide? its a two way thing. each other them are there to asssit each other. house chores in this part of the world na woman work, man work na to provide. things have changed now, so each other shud support the other.

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    1. And yet some men you share the household bills, rent etc 50/50 with their wives will still be bragging and claiming 'am the provider'

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    2. As things have changed in the providing aspect it should also change in the house work aspect. As the woman is assisting the man to provide, the man should also assist th woman with the house chores. Shikena

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    3. If i share bills with my husband, then we must do roasters for house chores.

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    4. Not in this Nigeria @ mummy twins and praise
      That marriage will scatter if if wife wants to force it. Even her own people will blame her for saying so. The best is to pay someone to do it and then find a way round the bill. You can stop doing something in the house and tell him you used the money for it to pay for home cleaning. That is if he doesn't pay the cleaner

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  14. To be honest, if they have a good relationship as friends and a couple, this shouldn't be an issue. It something that she will lovingly tell her husband and he will oblige cos its not big deal. Haba!

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  15. I am an area scatter hubby would complain n arrange n yab me. Thank God he is not one of those Africa men that has pride

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  16. The person that did that song 'mother in the kicthen cooking food, father in the palour watching film' will not make haven. @ Giveaway Princess

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    1. You're funny i swear.πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

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    2. Abi o πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ƒ

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    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚yaff kee me oo! Mummy in de kishin kukin raiz, daddy in de parlor warshin teli, shidren in dey gali pelli boh! Shange ur stai...fiam! Anoda wan..fiam! If I hia say mama Ebuka dey cook, Ebuka dey 'Pelli boh'... Omo Na die o! Deh onli stai wey go change dat day Na my trawzer after beta cane don restructure am!

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  17. My husband isnt the type that likes doing house chores,even if he does it, one will regret at d end of d day,like d day I went to redeem camp on friday and got home Saturday morning, while I was still sleeping hubby offered to make breakfast,bread and egg,he didn't put off d gas well when he was done,tot he did ,the fire was off but d gas was still leaking cos he tuned in d wrong direction,thank God I went to take water myself and percieved d smell,or was it d day he offered to help me warm stew when I was pregnant with our first baby,he forgot d stew on fire,na me still woke up frm sleep and ran to kitchen.now that am pregnant again I told him to help with bathing our son,he refused initially but i sat him down one day and told him he needs to help me cos no house help and am still having early pregnancy symptoms,i made him see reasons,and he has been helping since then,he is d breadwinner and comes home late wc i understand but he doesn't leave home early,he leaves like 9am,so it all depends on d situation at hand and circumstances surrounding every

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    1. If he comes in late, I think you should let him sleep in. Bathe the child if you can

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  18. My husband isnt the type that likes doing house chores,even if he does it, one will regret at d end of d day,like d day I went to redeem camp on friday and got home Saturday morning, while I was still sleeping hubby offered to make breakfast,bread and egg,he didn't put off d gas well when he was done,tot he did ,the fire was off but d gas was still leaking cos he tuned in d wrong direction,thank God I went to take water myself and percieved d smell,or was it d day he offered to help me warm stew when I was pregnant with our first baby,he forgot d stew on fire,na me still woke up frm sleep and ran to kitchen.now that am pregnant again I told him to help with bathing our son,he refused initially but i sat him down one day and told him he needs to help me cos no house help and am still having early pregnancy symptoms,i made him see reasons,and he has been helping since then,he is d breadwinner and comes home late wc i understand but he doesn't leave home early,he leaves like 9am,so it all depends on d situation at hand and circumstances surrounding every

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    1. Ngwanu, una wan make im dey do chores, im for roast you like turkey!

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  19. πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜‚lets be realistic ...marriage is much more and what work for other might not work in yours..
    I grew up with a father that taught me how to cook,he does his laundry, he clean the house...see me looking like mugu when my husband won't even clear the tables, help around the house, will never make the bed.lols,I have to adjust o and then start teaching him how to use the laundry basket,talk him into helping during weekends and gradually he's changing...dont even bother trying to force him,it will cause more problems..

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  20. I can't marry a man that won't help out with house chores, I don't want a repeat of what my mom is facing biko, the only difference with my dad and what the poster wrote is that my dad doesn't litter the room with his cloths both clean and dirty, the clean cloths we fold and keep in his wardrobe, he just opens the wardrobe and neattly takes the cloth he wants to wear, his dirty cloths he hands then, underwear he folds in the laundry basket. He doesn't mess the bed so that's a plus.
    But he never takes his dirty dishes to the kitchen, he leaves them on the dinning table for my mom to clear when she returns from work. He can't even wash his cloths himself not to talk of sweep. When the pumping machine gets bad my mum or whoever is home has to fetch water from the well before its fixed, my dad will never take a bucket outside to fetch water. Anyway I love my dad but he's domestically lazy.

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    1. You won't marry a man that won't help out with house chores ?
      Let me tell you, some of them do it before marriage, look at you. After sometime in marriage, they change. So my dear you can't judge with courtship. My own husband did it before marriage but now after kids have even joined us, he doesn't lift a finger in the house anymore.

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  21. Some men willingly help out but some don't. My husband helps me clean and mop on weekends when he's not too busy. Toilet nko, since I had my first baby he took over that. But whenever his mom is around she frowns at it. I just face front jeje. Meanwhile my father in law even cooks and wash her cloth but she dey vex say her son dey help me. I no kuku send sha. Some ancient men will never do that and they want the house spotless. The truth remains it's not a big deal to assist one's wife. It is well sha!!!

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  22. This my own Ehen he does uber and comes back late.. when I was pregg for my first I wash he's clothe till I deliver, I wash bathroom, cook even bedsheets and curtains I use hands to wash them.. I gave birth this man did not help out with anything oo, even the uber he does he does not give me money he only takes care of the baby.. I just got tired of washing his clothes I wash mine and my daughter alone, sometimes I wash his boxer.. he can soak his clothes in water for 2months before, I just wash his polo and T.shirt he soak since last month. Yesterday..

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  23. during courtship she will be forming wifey duties..doing all d chores now its marriage you're complaining. finish what u started oh

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  24. If i tell you my story, you will gasp. This chore thing has affected my marriage. He doesnt help with a single thing and he provides half way and i meet up half way. I do all the children school runs and all errands to do with the 2 kids.

    I just asked him, brah abeg help with either dishes or sweeping. The brah vex say never. He cant. It caused fight. He say hes the man and he wont do jack, i say okay no wahala.

    Long story short, i started resenting him.He also started beefing me, reporting me to d world,saying am not submissive etc.

    After 1 year, my love for him drained out, due to all the stress. Later he realised i no send am again. He started helping and asking to assist with chores.

    I cant be bothered anymore, i asked to become a single mum since i was hussling everything on my own. He started begging. I said it's too late, the love is gone, I want out.

    Later , he stopped begging. We are both like partners now. No sparks. Just cohabitants. Its just a matter of time, we will both move on. Men help your wives. It kills d woman with stress and causes strains in the marriage.

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    1. @14:12, this is what I just said to someone here. After a while the woman would definitely start hating the man and your write up just proved that.

      I personally can't marry a man who isn't domesticated for i believe in egalitarian marriage.

      The guy who was asking me out at a point and I was feeling him, invited me over to his house once.

      You needed to see his living room. I couldn't take it so I asked why is house was topsy turvy and the statement he said killed that feeling instantly.

      He said" this is why i am trying to get married soonest so my wife would take care of all of this.
      I was infuriated. Like you are a baby who needs a wife to clean your mess. I suggested he gets a maid he said she would definitely try to seduce him so no. That was the last time he saw me.

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    2. Just forgive him since he is sorry. When we complain, we want our partners to change, now that he is willing to change why not give him another chance.

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    3. Madam try and get a cleaner na. It will do you a whole lot of good. I have one I pay 25k. She comes and goes. I already have an elderly nanny who stays with the kids. I pay this money from my personal pocket. I am a working mum and can't kill myself.
      Why not get someone to come and go. The stress you will be relieved of is worth that 20/25k.
      You can get a cleaner why let domestic work break your marriage. Pls think of your kids.

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  25. God help us,some will even help in the first and second year and later change.

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  26. OMG
    So this issue can break marriages?
    Pls I will suggest to women with such husbands, I mean women who also hustle and contribute to their homes to start inviting these home cleaners to come clean everywhere and do the laundry (in the absence of a washing machine), do market runs, etc and then you split the bills with your husband if he can't pay everything. You can do it on weekends.
    Chika Vincent, I assume you don't have a washing machine, invite all these women to come do his laundry on the day he would be around like on a Sunday morning, then tell him to pay her. How can clothes be soaked inside water for one month? I don't believe it

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  27. Funny enough when my husband and I were dating he didn't do any chores. But when we got married he always helped clean the house and do laundry. When I'm cooking he stays in the kitchen with me and helps me wash up the dishes when I'm done.

    Now we have a paid help that does the chores so he's focused on making plenty money for me and his kid. May God continue to bless him

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  28. MayJehovah God never allow me to marry a man who does not believe in helping out. Amen.

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  29. I can't manage a dirty non domscated husband

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  30. Gender roles is an issue that couples should discuss before marriage. They must be on the same page to avoid conflict.

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