Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday In House Gists -Christmas Laughs...

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Sunday, December 09, 2018

Sunday In House Gists -Christmas Laughs...

What is the Funniest or most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you during Christmas either in Lagos or back home in the Village or in the Diaspora?








The funniest entry will get something from SDK Blog.....

Mine was my first Christmas abroad,I was so frustrated by the food that during Christmas i assumed i would get Nigerian food to eat where we were invited to,I had had enough of potatoes and couldnt take one more...Lo and behalf it was potatoes and roasted Duck and a lot of Non Nigerian dishes.....I just started crying  as food was being served and everyone assumed i missed home and all and i nodded in agreement..Will never forget.

Now i dont even remember Nigerian food....

103 comments:

  1. Christmas Christmas..πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ‘€πŸ’‹πŸ’‹

    God's protection alwaysπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

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  2. That was my first fireworks called ina Olorun. That small one you hold and it brings out flashes till it burns out. I was just in awe of it the first time I held it till the fire burnt out. If you know it you will know that the fire that comes out doesn't burn so I thought it's same for the stick. I touched it and it burnt me nonsense .

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  3. Lo and BEHOLD the Christmas in-house-"gist" has landed.

    Mbanu, how can someone serve potato and obogwu to a Nigerian on Christmas day?
    No be suicide by a frustrated Naija babe the person wan commit so?

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  4. Is it only in Lagos that Nigerians live in Nigeria?

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  5. Aha all the Naija girls make una come tell us how una open legs ajar for those
    "I wanna, gonna, cap faceback" brats wey dey prowl villa for Christmas.
    Una traps catch nkapi abi na antelope?

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  6. I can't remember anyone for now.

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  7. Sdk are u in anyway saying only lagos and abroadian people visit this blog? Some bvs have never been to lagos sef lol. No insult intended guys.

    Meanwhile the most embarassing thing that happen to me on Christmas was when lee boo visited me in the family house and as a visitor, mom asked me to pick one (bird) chicken from the farm (she had a small poultry farm in the back yard) and kill for her would be son inlaw, she liked him that much. Went into the farm caught the biggest chicken slaughtered it and went into the kitchen to perboil water. Came back 15 minutes later to see the chicken running around with its neck dangling. Apparently the chicken wasnt dead lol, had to call lee boo as it was just me,mumsy and him at home to come help me catch a half dead chicken. Lee boo came and the whole thing turn to bollywood movie. See us chasing the chicken and the thing kept running round the house. Last last lee boo had to remove his shoe before we were able to catch that chicken lol. He had to cut the neck off entirely. I grilled the chicken and gave him both laps as reward lol. It was embarassing at first but lee boo made the entire experience fun.

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    Replies
    1. Lol... You're not a good host rara.. How can you allow your host to remove shoe and be chasing chicken?? Lol

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    2. Hahahahaha, you're good Host jhoor

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    3. I can imagine the scenario.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    4. Hahahahaha...why are you embarrassing me laidis?

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    5. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    6. LMAO the removing of shoe is really funny..

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    7. As in ehn my people it was a really funny experience.
      He was like baby take that angle then i will come from behind and catch it and the chicken was there telling us yimu catch me if you can. See us panting like we ran a 400 meter race after we caught the chicken.

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    8. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚




      #mummyisaac

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    9. Stephanie😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

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    10. Yes I've not been to Lagos before and I'm not offended..
      πŸ˜‚ so you made your leboo run 4/40 with headless chicken

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  8. Mine happened when we went to the village for Christmas i was around 14 years old,i had this 6inch gifted to me by an aunt so i wanted my slaying game to be top notch so i it too church,all eyes were on me I was feeling really good till the end of service when we were going out of the church then the next thing was i was on the ground with dust and all that day i knew the power of the brain then with a flash the thought came to me that the only way out of this embarrassment was to fake faint and was taken home i wasn't able to come out the whole of that day,only my smart mom figured i didn't faint how, she knew still baffles me

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    Replies
    1. Mothers? Fear them! They know every every.
      I danced crazily into our sitting room in one of my happy moments, not knowing we had guests. As soon as I enter jam faces, I fell gidigba for ground, feigning accident. They all got up to help and console me, even my dad was saying sorry. Only my mom sat down on her chair without moving. The look she gave me told me everything. She knew I didn't fall!
      To this day, it still baffles me.

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    2. Castle Windsor please kee meπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‰

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  9. My first time abroad. I travelled in December, my host told me to buy a jacket that can take cold. I enter market for Lagos and got a jacket/sweater that I felt it was thick by my naive standard. Landed in Schipol, and a co traveller was telling me 'this ur jacket/ Sweater no go hold you" if you are going by Public transport, he asked me to just run thru the swing door and run back inside just to test my jacket, I did that and when I got back in, my lower jaw and upper jaw started hitting each other! I was shivering with tears dropping uncontrollably from my eyes. I called my host that he should pls go back home and help me get a proper jacket. I can't describe the feelings except you experience it!

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    Replies
    1. Lol

      It's definitely better imagined.

      Please is London cold in February... I guess it is if it snows.

      Also, is Paris cold around June?

      I haven't travelled out before but their is a likelihood I'll join a trip abroad sponsored by my School.

      Just making enquiries just in case the promise is fulfilled.

      Also, what do I need for the trip to be able to survive the cold.

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    2. Noni London is definitely cold in February. I will advise that you layer up. Get a thermal vest (okrika sometimes sell them), a thick long sleeved blouse, a sweater or cardigan and then a thick woollen jacket. It is not the temperature per se but the damp and wind chill that makes you feel the cold more than you should. It should be summer in Paris in June but take a chic lightweight jacket or cape with you just in case.

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    3. Yes London is also cold in February because it's still winter. Layer up very well because the cold and wind no be here .

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  10. The first day I went for an interview immediately after my service year, I wore my best trousers and shirt( coperate wear) I didn't know that there was a round hole on the right side of my trousers and I tucked my shirt in. On my way to the interview place, I was just cat working practising the new catwalk I learnt, I noticed people were starring at me too much, and I was feeling fly thinking it was my dope bun hair style I had on.
    Reaching the venue, the manager called me in for interview in my way, one of the lobby host( cleaners-a lady) called me back and dragged me into the toilet and showed me the mirror and said I should look at my trousers, oh my God, lo and behold a round hole and my fair ass was peeping through the hole I didn't know what to do. And every other participant in the interview all had their shirts tucked into their trousers, and I need to go for the interview, its my turn already,so I covered the hole with my shirt ( the shirt was showing instead of my fair ass)hurried down to the interview office and thank God the interviewer was sitting across me and she asked me to sit down( so no insecurity about my turn trousers).

    After the interview I thanked the interviewer and stepped out facing the he so that she won't see my trousers. I went back to the lobby to wait for the verdict. Kasala come happen when the interviewer came out and called my name, I stood up to meet her( mind you she was sitting on her car outside the hotel and it was on broadday light so no lighting and cozy room to cover up my dressing) that's how she told me they'll call me back and she was nice to me, smiling and all and she said 'goodbye' I didn't know if I should untuck my shirt or what, cos she was still sitting in the bunnet waiting for me to leave. Na so I bone start to cat walk towards the gate, outside d gate, I turned slightly and saw her and one other guy,I think he's her driver, starring at me with side eyes.(I know say dem don see the patch oh nooo, covers eyes)I sha untucked my shirt outside and tool another route avoiding those taxi drivers and ware sellers that were starring at me on my way there. Lol. It was embarrassing and funny too and uptil now I no know how hole appear for my trousers cos I just shopped for it and I tried it out many times in the changing room before picking it.

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    Replies
    1. This is so embarrassing. Sorry you had to experience that. Hope you got the job.

      Mee!

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    2. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣
      This is truly hilarious!
      Oh dear!🀣🀣🀣🀣

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  11. After Christmas service many years ago, our Sunday school teacher was reprimanding us outside about throwing knockouts. Unknown to him, one mischievous boy released one behind him. At the sounds, Mr. Righteous jumped up and down like a frog, yelling. His ancient suit abi na coat flapping. That mischievous boy was my elder bro.

    I've always narrated here how years later he was blasting Awilo Longomba in our sitting room. Secular music was not allowed in our house but we always played in our parents' absence. Dad came in unexpectedly while we were dancing away and asked what useless music we were playing. Bro said it was Ghanaian Christmas Carol. Mpa smiled, balance for chair begin nod and hum along.

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    Replies
    1. Oh mpa!😁😁

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    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    4. ko mo tu tapeh.....what a christmas carol...lmao. your brother na gangster i swear

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  12. Oops... I didn't read instructions...its Christmas tales and not random tales. OK let me think of one Xmas tale to send.

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  13. Edu Malay returned from Malaysia for Xmas last Christmas.We met in Church and he noticed me as the fine girl that I is and invited me for a drink that evening.our place of meeting was the bar of a new hotel in the area;Edu Malay called me when he was already seated at the bar.I took extra care with my dress,makeup and even the shoes I wore.I walked into the hotel feeling fly at dusk and all eyes were on me with compliments from left right and center. I was so happy because my plan of coming to the village was already going fine,my net has finally caught a big fish-an abroad fish.We took drinks and on realizing that there was not barbecue in the hotel we decided to try another place.We both got up to leave and being the angrier party,I poured out my anger on the people who served us and the hotel management. I decided to wait in the car while Edu soughts out the bill.I took two step backwards and saw Edu hurrying over to my side but it was already too late-brothers and sisters,I fell backwards into their dimly lit swimming pool with my bag,shoes and phone.To add salt to injury, I heard my new catch Edu Malay laughing his ass off.I felt so embarrassed. He kept laughing till some guys helped to bring me out of the pool.I looked at the suppressed laughter on their faces and felt like disappearing. Edu Malay kept laughing like a hyena till he dropped me home,I had to lie that I fell into a gutter.That was the last time I spoke with Edu Malay my new abroad catch

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    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    2. He wasn't for u ,which kain wicked laff be that??but it's funny oo,edu Malay no try

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    3. 😁😁😁😁😁😁 ede malay is a bad brother

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  14. I remember one Christmas in the nineties that my father bought Christmas dress for all of us,but my elder sister as a teneger that wanted to belong didn't like her own dress so she decided to hustle to make money and buy her own test.
    She prepared moimoi and went out to sell it. She later came back in the evening and complained bitterly that she only sold few. The following morning,she warmed the moimoi and begged me to go help her sell as her "junior" sister wey I be.
    As I was going about shouting "goonu maimai"πŸ˜‚ the first customer to buy from me come be a police officerπŸ˜‚ as the man buy #10 own I left only for this man to call me back immediately and asked me na who give you this poison?" I told him it's my sister and he forcefully collected the #10 in my hand and told me to drop my tray of moimoi with him and go call my sister.πŸ˜‚ I immediately dropped it and ranπŸ˜‚ as I was running I mistakenly fell inside gutter and one of my legs dislocated!! I managed to go back home in tears ..
    When I got home my sister was expecting me to come with money but after narrating everything to her she told me to forget about even our tray that she's not going to see the police officer.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Kai...

    The following day being 24th December my leg has already swollen up. That year Christmas was my worst Christmas ever...πŸ˜‚

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    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha chai Fan nwannem ndo

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    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜
      When a turning stick can't say no,it keeps getting into hot water.

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    3. Fan you do kill me with laughter ooo. Sorry ooo.

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    4. Fan ooooo. I can't stop laughing. Chisos my belly is full for today no more dinner. you got my vote.

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    5. This is a very sad story. Hope the dislocation didn't leave reminders and your legs are okay.


      Mee!

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    6. fan fan ehh!! you need to see the way i'm laughing now oo lolsssss!!!

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    7. Hahahahahahaha... @ fan you have my vote.

      Hope your fine now

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    8. Hahahahaha...Fan a whole you!?

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    9. Arhh you guys should stop laughing at me naπŸ˜‚

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    10. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ The goonu maimai killed me 🀣🀣🀣🀣

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    11. ������������������

      Fan Fan! !
      I hope you win this .

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    12. Yesoooo @Eka Joy l call it maimai in those days😁😁 lolz

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  15. Hehehe.. This just reminded me of when I was still wearing seven coloured pants,running round the compound with lil or no worries.
    It was Christmas I and my family traveled to the village to spend it there as usual,On the 25th of every Christmas we normally kill chicken.. So that very Christmas, I was awaiting my own lil part of the chicken and something hilarious happened!

    My mom served me food with my tiny chicken part anxiously waiting for me to devoure it,I finished eating my rice and just as I was about to eat my Christmas meat... Fowl from nowhere came and snatched my joy(meat)away!

    Cheii! The reason I finished my rice was gone.. I was crying and my family was busy laughing about it.. Memories ehhn.

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    1. Castle that was when I realized too oo.. That thing pain me ehn, I couldn't believe my eyes.

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    2. I vote for you. Chai! I can imagine when ones reward is stolen.

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  16. I went home for Xmas 6 years ago and fell for one dude from UK. I cant recollect how I fell so cheaply and was embarrassed when my vjay started to whistle when he was bunking me. The noise was so loud and annoying that he stopped mid way. I will never forgive myself for this.

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    Replies
    1. Whistling Vjay???
      Pls elaborate...

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    2. Sorry oh, very embarrassing that is. The sizes, match it didn't . One was bigger and the other smaller and i no know get which but air was escaping hence the whistling .

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    3. The air he pumped in was just coming out. Nothing sinister.

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    4. As in puzzy wey dey blow trumpet? Kuku kee me!

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    5. lol...whistling vejay...lmao.....mine happens sometimes when i do doggy with hubby...its just alot of air going inside and out

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  17. My embarrassing moment happened last year Christmas.

    Bae came to visit me, we have been in different states for a long time and we could easily meet in the village.

    Now, we were both very spontaneous people and have done crazy things in the most unusual of places.

    On Christmas day as she was helping serve people who came to visit, i came into the kitchen to talk a little with her.

    Things heated up and we closed the door connecting the kitchen and palor where my parents and their guest were at and began going down on each other.
    The kitchen had just that one entrance which was the one to the palor, the other one was permanently locked.

    With our eyes closed, we kept kissing and pressing all that could be pressed with bae mourning so loudy.

    I opened my eyes inbetween our kiss to find out that the door to the palor was open and all the guest plus my parents have been watching a little bluefilm by their son and his girlfriend.

    My bae ran and locked it with her face red in embarrassment.
    I wanted the floor to open and swallow me coz I kept on seeing how my parents face were, a mixture of surprise, embarrassment and disappointment that I would shame them like that in front of their many important guest.

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  18. Mine is a testimony of God's faithfulness and his miraculous deliverance of my younger brother. Back in the 80's masquerades do entertain in the village at Christmas. It happened that my brother who was between a year or two was forgotten by even my mum as we were all carried away with looking out from our front door varendah. My Mum had the urge to take a wee and going to the backyard where we had an enclosure she entered the kitchen to take water to clean her self with from a big earthen ware pot only to discover her son right inside with a cup.
    I shudder till today what would have happened if the water level was high or if he was not discovered on time. God showed up for us. That would definitely have been the last place we would have looked for him. Thank you Jesus for sending your angel to lead my mum just in the nick of time.

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  19. As Kids during Xmas. We all know in early 90's how NTA will always show Jesus Christ film at about 10pm on Christmas day before they close for the day. Good old days. I have always been scared of all this Obaje scenes in Tale by Moon night and babies appearing and disappearing in movies especially the Yoruba one. So watching Jesus die on the cross and reappearing again was men like Oh man God,how will I sleep tonight ooo. After the film I couldn't sleep. After all the drink Zobo and fanta of the day. My liver and bladder started their own meeting. How I wan take piss for this night. The road to the toilet was dark. I manage go sha with speed of light. Got to d toilet and pulled my (una know the answer),i was faster than Usain Bolt in those days nt this belle wey i carry dey first reach before my leg. OK back to d gist. I stood at foot of the toilet to pass them urinary waste men!! So sweet yea my tap was rushing. Unknown to me, my dad was also in the toilet. Because I was dead scared and before he could open his mouth. Popsy drink piss ooooo. I will never forget that day. Popsy had to shower again, i was flogged ooo. Who will I blame. Can i blame Jesus for rising again.

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    1. Omg!!! You people want to use laugh finish me for this bus πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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    2. πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜‚ this is so funny, I hope you win

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  20. I met this guy before last year christmas, i came home for a wedding while he came home for his building project which was ungoing then. he stays in Lagos while i stay in Abuja so we met and exchanged contacts. we hung out once before we travelled back to our base, but we kept in touch with each other. so i travelled home for christmas last year, and he also returned. voom we kick off our relationship and he took me to places, introduced me to his friends and family and he was carrying me in his car always.our relationship was so strong that we were so into each other like we have dated for years. so on the 30th Dc we went to one of his friends traditional marriage and enough orishirishi was there, so i ate moimoi and salad and took some mixed wine. so when we returned home my tommy started dancing makosa and i rush to the toilet with my phone and my guy told me he wanted to go and buy fuel, so i was very free inside the toilet pooping, chatting and laughing because i was the only one at home and that was how my anus started singing makosa, egwu ekpili, and high life join Tuuuuu puuuuuu poropoto poropoto fuuuu truuu puuu and i was busy with my chatting doing my thing, didn't know guy man came back immediately and placed his phone at the toilet door recording the gams my anus was singing that he didn't go to buy the fuel again. when he heard we washing myself he rushed and took his phone and went to the sitting room playing my new anus song lol. when i came out he was busy laughing and listening to it with his ear piece and he was like baby come and listen to this funny song by Phino, fiam i rushed the ear piece thinking it was actually Phino's song only for me to be hearing tuuuu puuuu poropoto poropoto truuu fuuuu.didn't understand it initially and i was even asking him what kind of song is this until it get to the side i was laughing when the person i was chatting with sent something that made me laugh, and that was when i realised it was my anus song lol and i nearly fainted Kai! i dragged the phone with him to delete it but guy man refused and said to me, baby i love you more. it was so embarrassing to me but guy man no send and told me he loves me more. till date our relationship is still waxing stronger everyday that when ever he makes me sad, he will play my anus song and we will laugh at it together and even kiss me and tell me baby i love you more and more. chai i must look for a way to delete it biko.

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  21. When I was much younger, Christmas period was for new clothes and visitation. Several times, I had mistakenly played ball into our neighbors shed and as usual, she would come shouting but I would have disappeared in seconds! (Usain Bolt sef Na learner for my side).
    Mama did not quickly get the fabrics to sew for Christmas, so she gave them to this 'same' neighbor of ours who happened to be a tailor for 'express delivery'. All my siblings went for measurement but because of guilt and fear, I refused to meet with the tailor.

    Early Christmas morning, after we had emptied all the pomade on our faces, mama handed our clothes to us so we could wear them to church.
    When I wore mine, (deep sigh) the buba was like body hug/crop top. My round belle was showing under! The trouser was leggings, my legs no gree enter! We were already late for service so amongst others, mama gave me her scarf to tie to church.
    My mischievous younger sister told everyone I was purging and pooed on my sokoto. After service while they were sharing jollof rice to we kids, lo and behold Na Aunty tailor be the food distributor. She deliberately skipped me and said Ebuka since ya shitting, no need for rice o... It wee scatter your stomuk! I sat there in my crop top and scarf wondering why karma do me like this!

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    Replies
    1. Oh lawd! Why me? Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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    2. lmao...ebuka yaff kill me..just imagining you in your tight clothes being denied food on top..chai(in dame patience voice)

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    3. Omg! Ebuka you've killed me with laughter. You have my vote.

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