Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Monday, January 07, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmmm.......





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A STORY TO LEARN FROM

Good day Stella. I wish you a very happy new year, may you sour higher this year and beyond.... Amen

Please I wish to be anonymous as my story is an embarrassing, yet interesting one that I wish for others to read, learn from and maybe share with me some encouraging words now cos that's what I need.
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I know some may start criticising and insulting, but please, let's bear in mind that this lady right here, is hurting, and this sort could happen to anyone.

Please this is a really long read, but if you can be patient enough to read all, I promise you'll understand why it had to be really this long.


Now to my story.

FB(former boo) and I met some 3years ago,November 2015 , in church, it was youth week, I read the day's lesson. He heard my voice, and picked an interest in me.

Our church by the way is a large congregation, so I didn't know him before then until the day he called, introduced himself and we casually started off as friends.

Few months down the line, we started dating.

He was.....oh! So sweeeet.
He was a darling
He was a friend
A good listener
He broke habits for me
He was generous too
He was just about all I wanted in my man.
He told everyone that cared to listen about us.
In Church, at his work, his family and friends were not left out.
Although his friends had their sentiments, he came from a financially stable family, while I didn't.... We barely had enough to take care of our daily needs,thus the reason for the resentment from his friends, but over time, they accepted me too.

When we started dating, we agreed that we would both be open, no secrets, (My idea).I told him things I didn't like in a man, and he did to.....tell me things that puts him off in a woman.

We did this to better understand ourselves and have a............not perfect, but at least, peaceful relationship.

It was working, until it stopped working.


About a year later, 2016, things started changing.

I didn't want to admit it, I was giving excuses for him.
I told myself he was probably going through stress at work, as yes, he was, cos the place he was working at, a hotel later packed up and he was left without a job for 8months.

Throughout this period he was at home, I was praying and trusting God on his behalf for another better job.

His mom catered for his needs, (His dad is late by the way, maybe if not, he'd probably not even have to work at a hotel in the first place).

Later in the year, he got another job, not a good pay, but something, we were still praying and trusting God for a more befitting job.

2017 came and he went from bad to worst, insulting me at the slightest provocation, picking up fights, using derogatory comments on me, I almost lost my self esteem and confidence.I was bearing it all cos he always apologized.

But the last stroke that broke the camel's back was the day he hit me.

I couldn't take it no more so I broke off the relationship.
Barely a week and he came crying and begging.
Involving his friends, colleagues and elder sister.......Manipulative right?
I thought so too!

I accepted, not out of love, cos in truth, the love had started fading.... I only accepted him out of respect for the people he got to call me.

Fast forward to 2018, another job came and he had to relocate to Elele in rivers state, matters became worst, he picked up a quarrel, instigated a fight, accused me, cursed, at the littlest things, stay for days, as in 4 days to a week without calling, and when I do call, I have to start apologising for not calling in earlier and all sorts, and did I mention, he went back to old habits.

He recently visited for the yuletide and I found out he was cheating, he has gotten himself another girl and even had the impetus to show me her pictures on his phone ,to think I was faithful all these while.

He was always going through my phone, reading through all my whatsapp messages, texts, checking and double checking my contacts for any hint or clue on if I was cheating, when he did this, I had to grab his phone forcefully (although I know it's wrong, but I couldn't take it anymore) and that was how I came to know that he had another...... The overtly jealous and highly suspecting ones are usually the guilty message.

Of a truth I was indifferent on realisation. Cos I was fed up, I was drained,i was worn out.

You may say I was foolish or I got the warning signals, but you're wrong, he swore he was keeping it real......not like I cared!

I am a go-getter, though still a student, but I know I'll not get to my peak with him, he earns 80k monthly,his mom still fends for him, he's 34, doesn't pay rent where he lives, doesn't pay transport to work... He lives within the office premises , yet he doesn't have a dine saved in the bank. he's toxic, depending on his father's money and does not want to be around someone who is better than him.

I didn't see all that before
I have learnt, I have flushed off all the negatives, but I still feel hurt and betrayed.


My only fear is fear of the unknown, will I ever get married?
I'm not desperate, no, but I'm scared.
I want to be married, I love family
I need prayers and reassurance.

And I also pray for anyone reading this not to fall in love with the wrong person..

Peace!




Hmmmmmmm......just relax abeg.

55 comments:

  1. My dear it is what it is. Life must go on. Your right man will locate you soonest. @Blessed Princess

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We all make mistakes to learn from them.
      Your own man will find you. You only have to be open to meeting new people.

      Delete
    2. Abeg don't wish sourness on Stella this new year lol. As for your chronicle, please move on from that toxic relationship you're in. No respect, he's cheating plus physical violence so why are you still there? You seem to think you're in a unique situation. No you're not. Everyday women discover that the men that started out so sweet have become something else and choose to walk. So please do the same...

      Delete
    3. Poster your spirit husband has disorganized that guy believe it or not. If you doubt me watch that guy bounce back to his old self and even better after you guys has separated for real. Your family have a foundational problem that is causing poverty in your family and affects anyone that wants to become part of your family,take it or leave it. Poster be prayerful, don't let it dawn on you after you are married o

      Delete
    4. Mr Controversial7 January 2019 at 19:58

      you must be a Prophet...LMAO

      Delete
    5. Nigerian women really need to work on themselves. How did this manage to make himself a prize such that his friends even supposedly look at you as a ‘golddigger’?

      How?

      Delete
    6. Eyaa poster, you thought he had changed for you. A leopard hardly changes its spots. Imagine if you had married him. That is why it is not good to rush into relationships or marriage. Some people only go to church to find spouses but they don't evaluate how good they should be to whoever they find, because they are not good themselves.

      Delete
  2. Falling in Love with the wrong person is scary I swear.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Enter your comment...calm down and drink a cup of tea..hanhan! You sound desperate. you will definitely get married and have a beautiful family..there are many fishes in the river...


    Ola

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster I am currently drinking tea on your behalf.

      You will locate a good man. All these brothers and sisters in the church una go enter heaven so?

      Fornication too much hian

      Delete
  4. You will get married by God grace dear...forget him

    ReplyDelete
  5. Please relax, you will get married, you are not desperate but this your line of thought is looking "desper"... Remain to add "ate".

    Let him go...you will get a better man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shes not desperate... she wants the achievement that comes with marriage.

      Delete
  6. Dear, love will find you at the right time. Just engage yourself on something productive. You will get married at the appointed time.

    ReplyDelete
  7. @ Poster just keep calm the best hubby will locate you soon..
    Mind your lane and God will perfect that which concern you soon...

    It is well..

    ReplyDelete
  8. My dear you will be fine. If I could yank off my heart and throw it in a well I would but I need it to do good. I don suffer for where I dey love. How do ladies who get lucky do it. Are there still good men in this life.

    ReplyDelete
  9. good thing that you have called off the relationship.

    Don't be in a rush to marry o. this one that you are saying "you want to marry" me too love family , open your eyes and study him like a 4 units course 😁😁😁😁 while enjoying yourself at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Poster put yourself together and let him go once and for all. Let it be good radiance to bad rubbish. We've all been there and done that s**t. Just cry if you feel like,mourn your lost of time and affection that was not reciprocated, after that dust yourself up and keep it moving. Always be prayerful and close to God believe me when the time comes for you to be married God in his infinite mercies will bring that God fearing man that will love you and stand by your side always.
    Be strong dear
    E-hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You will get married if you so desire, all you need to do is tell God what you want, believe and the rest will fall in place. As for your FB, let him go please. You deserve someone better.

    ReplyDelete
  12. if only you hadn't put all ur eggs in 1 basket you won't have being asking dis questions,a man who is 34 and can't fend for himself is definitely bad news, if you get married to him u may end up carrying all d responsibilities

    ReplyDelete
  13. After a year that I broke up with my time waster ex-boy friend, the next year I got married to the love of my life. Relax my dear Poster,love will definitely find you again.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Poster love yourself first.
    Let him go. You will definitely meet the right person and get married.

    ReplyDelete
  15. My sweetheart who you described up there cannot grow the kind of family you would love to have someday

    This is the way you're feeling while dating him
    It will be worse sorry 'worstest' by the time you marry him or anyone like that

    Patience is a virtue in instances like this
    Don't rush in else you would rush out

    The red flags are waving at you already
    Now make a Uturn while you still can
    Rediscover that beautiful you you used to be before TOXICITY strolled into your life

    ReplyDelete
  16. you just have to move on dear....it's one of those life experience

    ReplyDelete
  17. The problem we have is,we expect every relationship to become marriage... If nt,why nt enjoy it while d love flows. When d love fades u shift base joor....when u are ready talk to God about it n put happiness in place n he that make things beautiful at his time will bring ur God ordained spouse.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Mtchewww...ww know dey see future how we go take know if u go marry..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tire oh... BVs can give somebody hope eh, like theyre soothsayers, you think its everyone that'd find a man & marry? No matter how good & Godfearing, its not a guarantee you will get married.

      Delete
  19. Good man fall on you this year, I pray. You did the right thing breaking up with him. Even though u did it late, better late than never. Trust me, he will come over and over again, begging you to take him back. Pls don't listen to him cos that is the devil trying to make sure he ruins u completely

    ReplyDelete
  20. "Still feel hurt and betrayed" -not an abnormal feeling
    "I was faithful all these while" -this makes me curious
    If it is what I am thinking -sex was involved right? -Not in anyway strange but you said you met in the church and
    you "read the message", meaning a worker in the church and if you were opening legs for this man, you goofed with your
    life and eternal life. That is where the mending should start! Any compunction at all for your misdeeds? If not, then
    you should be scared. If there is, good; godly sorrow brings about repentance.
    Hope you've learnt some good lessons.
    "Houses and wealth are inherited from parents but a prudent wife/spouse is from the Lord". Hope you know this proverb?

    ReplyDelete
  21. I have taken time to read this.
    Poster, is this worth the emotional trauma?
    He is 34. You did not state your age. Pls walk away from that relationship. You will see another person. You are not in your 50s
    He is no more intrested, maybe as he has gotten a job. So na 80k dey shark his head!!!
    Shit happens, You own your self, body and soul. You know what you want and what's good for you.don't listen to any fake apologies or begging.
    His friends must know and see the handwriting.
    As for me I will tell you to forget about him.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Babe just ghost him and move on, he's not worth it. Your God given man will locate you

    ReplyDelete
  23. Good you left that toxic relationship. You will definitely get married.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Don't worry dear. With time you will heal. A better and good husband will locate you soon. Be positive.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Nothing bad in all u said and not lenghty.u are hurt and u will heal and yes u will marry a man who will appreciate u.

    ReplyDelete
  26. relax...Is not late to start all over again.it's quite hurtful but believe me he doesn't worth you.pull your self together be strong and move on with time you will be glad you did.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Dear you will be fine just give yourself like a year, coming out of a bad relationship is like a wound that needs to be treated and allowed to heal, distract your mind with your education and any other good thing for the mean time, you will gather more maturity and sense to handle the next relationship. Trust me it works

    ReplyDelete
  28. Poster I totally understand you, I laugh when a poster up there said your family has foundational problem or you a spirit husband.sweethrt that's a lie from the pit of hell, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you,or your family,vLET HIM GO, YOURS WILL FIND YOU!!!. The devil comes to steal and uses what you desire most to torment you. All you need do now is have a personal relationship with intimacy with christ, in him is our refuge and hope. Honey you will get married and have a great family, every good thing comes from the lord, talk to the Lord more often he listens. Ehugs BTW, that guy took you for granted, don't always tell people your weakness, they will use it against you, he knows your family don't have much, hence feels you can't do without him. Ghost him and move on as you continue to look up to God. God bless and Grant you your hrt desires Amen

    ReplyDelete
  29. 80k?
    At 34?
    That's what is making the mpama feel like a god? Physically assaulting you? You must have grown up with no love and zero self esteem.

    80k? That means if he was earning 800k, omo mehn.... na you for dey.

    When I know your age, I will know how to deliver what I want to say about your level of common sense.
    Either way it won't be nice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *Either way it won't be nice*
      Lmaooo, you are funny!

      Delete
  30. You will definitely meet a better person and have a beautiful married life, the kind of life that you desire.
    You have really tried , putting up with all his BS. You are a patient person and that is a great virtue, kudos to you.
    Just get busier and do not forget to enjoy yourself. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I am so weak reading this... So you were looking at his family money to sustain your marriage or what??
    Next time choose better ok. A 32 year old man who lives with his mother is bad news. And they were even giving you attitude. Mshewwwwwww.

    ReplyDelete
  32. He's an abuser. Better be thankful you escaped this one. A manipulator and narccistic person. They blame you all the time, they stalk you mean they are the ones doing what they are accusing you off. They tell lies to make themselves look good. Trust me hun better thank your stars you dodged this one. I had the same experience, he was so jealous and over protective etc he swore he didnt have time to talk to females only to find out he had girls everywhere. I pray his actions hunt him like it hunts me

    ReplyDelete
  33. Just thank your lucky stars he will not be your problem. I feel bad for any woman who ends up with him. Yes, you will get married, why wouldn't you? You are still a student focus on completing your studies.and getting a good job for now.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Put on your running shoes. it only gets worse with people like them. You will find someone better and be happy, just believe.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Dear! Dust ur self and move on.. His love for you has died long time ago.. Don't waste ur precious time waiting for him... Take a break and restrategise for another relationship.. Pls don't let it get to youyou, you ar the only one that can make itself happy.
    Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  36. So because you fell in love with the wrong guy you feel you won't get married, my dear relax, keep serving the Lord,focus on your academics, do stuffs that makes you happy, stay positive, you'll definitely meet someone better than your Lousy Lazy irresponsible ex.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Every single male or female on earth are not all married, so relax and don’t kill your self over marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I must commend your frankness. Reclaim your self-worth that might have been distorted by that toxic relationship through self-belief. The right man will definitely find you

    ReplyDelete
  39. Don't go back to him o

    ReplyDelete
  40. I have read all the comments and I use say, thank you all for your kind words, even the unkind ones, I appreciate it all.... They're expected.

    Some people are better in analysing other people's lives and problems while theirs rot away.

    As for the poster that talked about spirit husband, I believe you're married to one yourself.
    Wetin I no know no go know me.

    He was the same way with his ex-girlfriend,he regretted after she left him, he still talks about her and sometimes compare me to her...... So is it possible she also had spirit husband?... Your guess is as good as mine.
    That is who he is...... I've told him to get therapy, he can't help himself.

    By the way I am 25 for the bv that asked. I am a Christian, but I am not perfect nor "the holier than thou", I'm still working on myself,so for those condemning, all I can say is "make sure you've reserved your place in heaven ".

    Amen to all the good wishes and prayers.
    I have broken up with him, yeah he's calling and all that, but I've moved on
    I only shared the story to serve as a lesson to others.
    There might be one or two things others could pick from the story.

    May God see us through..... Amen

    ReplyDelete
  41. 80,000 naira na salary? let him goan see guys who earn least 500k and are humble

    ReplyDelete

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