Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Tuesday, January 08, 2019

Chronicle of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm na wah ooooh.......





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FAMILY ISH


Hello Stella,

I have a story and my friend wants it posted as anonymous.

So Mr A met his wife (My friend) and they in Love and eventually got married.

According to her the first years of the marriage had plenty issues probably because both of them were young. Eventually they had their first child and then it got worse after her mum came. 

One day he slapped her. 

She called her parents and they sent the Police to the house to arrest him. They weren't successful as he already left. Her dad actually accompanied the police. The dad took her home.


The next day, her mum sent the police to the guy's office. This time they got him and started dragging him. The security officers convinced the Police officers to let the guy go as that act could make him lose his job. They succeeded and the police officers gave him an invite instead to their office. Mr A visited the police station and the officers were like this is a husband and wife issue and could be resolved. Apparently they called my friends mum and put it on speaker, he could hear her swearing on how she would deal with him.


The police left Mr A but advised him not to sleep at home as the wife's mother has dispatched the police again to his house that night.


Fast forward to the resolution, eventually he went to the wife's home to apologise. During the process, my friend's mother told him that if she knew that the time she was seeing him in their house, that a relationship was actually going on she would have destroyed it. He spoke to her dad who felt he was proud and had nothing. This is because they had offered him to come stay with them since they had a big house and he refused. To make the matter worse, he told the father of my friend that day that instead of him to live in their house, he would rather live under the bridge.

The whole was settled.

Years later, Mr A started picking up financially fast. In no time he had relocated his family abroad Legally and is doing really well.

So far he's doing OK. But the issue is that the relationship between Mr A and the family of my friend never remained the same. He brings it up at every given opportunity. Saying things like:

''They never believed in me''

''They hated me''.

''They had no regards for me or my family''.

''That he has forgiven but would never forget''.

''That for them to have sent police to his house and office that's unforgivable''

''That she takes her family over him''

''That they saw him as the underdog because they never knew tomorrow''


Obviously Mr A is still hurting about that issue.


My friend also believes he doesn't love her family and doesn't wish them well.

This keeps going on and off. They could be happy for 3 months then suddenly one day something that happened would open everything again.

She's gradually going into depression about this matter.

I would love to know your take on this matter and my fellow BVs opinion. How would she resolve this conflict?.




*Ah this is a hard one for me oh....
All i can say is that this kind of ISH,only time heals the pain....
Did he expect them to do nothing when he physically abused their daughter?every parent is by default protective of their kids....
Let your friend stop letting this issue depress her and stop discussing it with him...I am glad their marriage worked out..One day Mr husband will find it in his heart to forgive totally...
I dont know what else to say on this...

103 comments:

  1. They both seem hurt and offended and need to forgive each other before looking at forgiving their families. Time will heal their wounds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let him forgive though its not easy cos if I were in the man's shoes, I would do worse. For the mother to be insulting him with police. Am a man so I understand the Guy's point of view.

      Men hardly forgive things they suffered when going through difficulties. Its in all of us.

      Delete
    2. I feel really for the lady

      I know this pain

      Let her ignore him and tell her kids good stories of her family, love her husband's family more and always tell him to try and love hers small when he's in a good mood

      Delete
    3. You seem to know a lot about your "friend's" home. Are you sure you are not the one?

      Delete
    4. Shut up joor, what if she is the one?

      Delete
    5. @anonymous 16:23 why don’t men easily forget what they suffered during difficult tones but they can conveniently forget the woman/ lady that stayed and helped pull through. Isn’t that selective (partial and wicked) amnesia

      Delete
    6. @anonymous 16:23 why don’t men easily forget what they suffered during difficult tones but they can conveniently forget the woman/ lady that stayed and helped pull through. Isn’t that selective (partial and wicked) amnesia

      Delete
    7. Anon 16:23 a man who hits a woman is no man, go and sit down. You would have done worse indeed.

      Delete
  2. Tell your friend to give him time to heal...I believe he will come around and please she should stop allowing this issue to depress her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Police do the beckoning of the "privileged" or perceived to be privileged in Nigeria.
      If that guy had been the son of the Senate president, would the parents have used police to harass him
      in his office?

      Delete
    2. But u forget he beat their daughter. So using the police is justified. Stop acting like they called the police cos he was not a big mans son. So sarakis sons slap will not pain???

      Delete
    3. Nothing kills a marriage faster than interfering in-laws. Obviously I’m not referring to the police incident after slapping his wife... Why will you try controlling a man by telling him to live with you because he married your daughter? He refused makes him proud? Like seriously?

      Delete
  3. Na wah oh, if they can't live in peace, they should better separate, is too early to start dealing with marital issues this year abeg, when we advice guys to be a little financially stable before marriage, they will call u a hater, he has made money so he should forget the past and move the hell on, is very dangerous living with a spouse who does not have a forgiving spirit.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The guy had a job, probably through with school and had an accommodations before he married her? Where does the issue of financial instability before marriage come in his case? Are you advocating that young people should be as rich as Dangote before they marry? I think they were so proud and abused the young man and his family based on the fact that they were richer. That promoted him to be violent to the wife. That is not justifiable anyway.

      Delete
    2. Its easy to 4gv when the person has made money

      Delete
    3. I like how they tried to arrest him. Men like that if not curbed would beat their wives to stupor but if he remembers his in-laws, he will behave himself.

      Both of them should move on and forgive each other. It is all in the past, issues happen. They should forgive and forget. There is no perfect situation or marriage.

      Delete
    4. Let him try slapping her abroad na...nonsense and pride

      Delete
    5. Exactly, I hate people who cannot truly forgive, like what the fuck mehn, if any man slaps my daughter I will definitely call the police and yes I will be angry so I will insult the hell out of you, has he thought about the wife forgiving him for slapping her? Abi is he the only one that can keep malice?
      He is a very stupid man and shouldn’t have gone back for her if he can’t forgive, cus that doesn’t show love, how can you claim to love somone but not forgive them?
      They should go for counseling together so they can try and work on his unforgiving spirit. Does he think he will make heaven with all this wickedness

      Delete
  4. This is the topic preached on Sunday about forgiveness.

    The guy should be thankful that God was there for him and gave him a better future.

    The woman was young as in young and would like to involve her parents into the situation. I understand the pains.

    Mr man if you can't forget them don't forgive because you are displaying foolishness of the world. I won't be surprised he will say he is a Christian bla bla bla.

    You sin everyday and beg God to forgive and forget your sin but find it difficult to forget. You are a WIZARD

    ReplyDelete
  5. She should have a heart to heart talk with the man and apologise, the man should apologise to her too. They should come to a conclusion that they will never bring the matter up again no matter what happens, the past belongs to the past they should move on and forgive each other whole heartedly cos tbey both hurt each other.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apologies for what? That people stood up for her when she was physically abused? He's lucky it was in Nigeria otherwise his records will be forever tainted.
      If a man should slap his daughter will he be silent? If they didn't take that action, it would have been a regular occurrence. So he's hurt that the police was called on him? How does he think she felt when her husband slapped her.

      In fact, I agree that she is weak because I would have called the police on him myself. And I will not be afraid to let him know that I am unapologetic about it. The man needs to get over himself. It is called self defence and preservation.

      Delete
    2. Apologise fire!! His in laws reaction actually prompted him into being a better person. Let him slap her abroad and see if he won't sleep in prison.

      If you slap my daughter, you will think you committed murder. I don't condone dv in the slightest form.

      Delete
    3. Let me perch here. That guy is not serious at all. If he is tired of the marriage he should be a man and say so, instead of beating around the bush. What was he thinking when he slapped her? That her parents will clap for him or what? If they had not handled it in that manner he would have continued. I'm glad he got some brain resetting harassments. They hate me , they never believed in me yen yen yen. Wife beater oshi. If he is done he should pick his things and fuck off and stop stressing the poor lady.

      Delete
  6. Hmmmm very complicated I must say,deed has been done already because me feel your friend shouldn't have involved her parents in the first place because no parents would hear such and be happy,they are both proud and arrogant people and it is only because the husband is well to do now that is why the wife is humbled.she should talk to her parents to show the husband love as her future is with him and likewise as a woman Make her husband forgot the past hurts,it is hard coming back from the court and still remain friends,every party involved need to have a sitting and sort things out

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Interesting. Hope you know a slap can lead to death abi...so if your man slap you shut up ohh

      Delete
  7. Babies going into marriage, you think its a moi-moi, one small slap youre running to your parents to cry, do you run to them when ure enjoying the sex? If you can accept the good & u dont tell them, why tell them about the bad, its just a slap, not that i condone such physical abuse sha, theyre coming to ur house to take her away? Didnt u pay brideprice complete? This chronicle annoys me jo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is everything Ok?

      Did you read where they wrote they were both young.

      What if something had happened to her eardrum?

      What if she went to visit baba God from there?

      Delete
    2. Beautiful and gracious8 January 2019 at 15:43

      So he should kill their daughter right, from small slaps it will graduate to panelbeating. I love how they stood up for her,He should forgive cause he has no right to raise a finger on her.

      Delete
    3. You know dem violent men when you read comments such as these

      Smh

      If a man tried that rubbish with my daughter, he’s definitely getting charged with battery. Idc idc
      His low self esteem be making him hold onto that as if he didn’t do wrong.

      Delete
  8. I like the way the parents stood up for their daughter, something I would like for most parents to do....but hey it shows he can't assault her again, dude is pained n feeling downtrodden, let her calm him with a kiss whenever those moods pop up..u know, rub his back n tell him to calm down

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly, I love what they did. That man can never "touch" their daughter again.

      Delete
  9. The man is an assignment and he only brings up the issue because it bothers your friend. Tell her to stop reacting when he mentions it and he will move to a new topic. As they called police now, has he touched her again? No. Sense entered his brain. Idiot

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kwakwakwakwa@anonymous15:13, serious hediot.

      Delete
    2. Beautiful and gracious8 January 2019 at 15:46

      Better sense enter his brain, I use to tell my male siblings that the day their wives report them for physical abuse I will personally pay people to beat them up
      Nonsense and ingredients

      Delete
    3. Which sense? Its now he'd beat her up cus he has seen the worse they can do, then he didnt have money na so they could try that rubbish stunt..... hes even a weak man, and they know thats why they tried such shit.

      Delete
    4. @anon 16:09...He won't try that abroad, plus what money did he make?...Being abroad doesn't mean rich. This guy is feeling he has arrived just cos he is abroad, this one that he keeps bringing the topic up. He is not even ashame he slapped the woman, his only problem is them calling the police. Dude is just envious of his wife's parents, cos they are rich. He should move on, abeg

      Delete
    5. 16.09 you missed the abroad part, so his money doesn't matter at all...infact he might even end up suffering for the woman if he tries such rubbish. Anon you are a wife beater I can see it through your angry fingers as you fight with the keyboard. Nonsense

      Delete
    6. Beat her abroad? Lol, no need to tell her parents, let her just call the police, fiam them don show , handcuff am and bundle am to where he belongs.

      Delete
  10. He didn't even sleep in cell for like a night and he's still living in bitterness. He should watch it if not this his unforgiving spirit will do him more harm than good. As for the wife, she's suppose to close the gap between her hubby and her family. Let her pray for wisdom.
    They are still trying to stay married and be happy when they finally find that true happiness in their marriage they will resolve the other issues together.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Have a heart to heart talk.that men for u.of no head move on and stop showing his family care.depression ke.she better be strong.hhealing is a choice from him

    ReplyDelete
  12. The guy was stupid for slapping the wife and the wife's parents are terrible people,the truth is that the relationship with the wife's parent and the husband is dead,as in,dead rubber.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are not terrible people. If all naija men knew their wife's parents were like this, will they be beating us upandan

      Delete
    2. Pele Owen, allow a man panel beat your daughter and be nice to him, infact thank him, oshisco.

      Delete
  13. Simple they should kindly stop discussing things that might warrant him remembering the past.Slapping her was totally wrong. Time heals they will be alright.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Talk it out with him but if he has refused and starts ranting using those lines as stated above next time,keep looking at him sheepishly and zone out without saying a word while you keep staring at his face..its not easy but it would work cos no man loves when his wife is quiet all of A sudden and he doesnt know what she has in mind for him..

    He would be the one to come and start asking you what is wrong,then tell him "Nothing" and stand on your words with A subtle smile..

    Keep doing your daily activity and obligations in marriage then watch how he would start apologising to you just to know what is in your mind for the past few days you suddenly blanked out unlike his "Wife" who is always trying to prove a point while arguing with him..

    Play the Mind games and reset his brain..

    He was wrong by slapping you and your family took it too far too with the constant embarrassment even to his place of work(it would have been settled at home as family) hence you both need to forgive and forget cos the deed has been done and las las na husband and wife matter..

    You both need to act matured and take responsibilities for your previous action cos using every little opportunity to bring back memories of the past would take your marriage nowhere..

    @MARTINS ABOY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmmm, my dear martins, the silence will work for a man that values communication, if not you go silent from now till 2020, nobody get your time.
      #fact

      Delete
    2. @martins this could only work for some , some men can keep malice for ages ooo

      Delete
    3. Martins, wetin capital letter A do you?

      He was wrong to slap her, although i dont know what she did sha, we all know some womens mouth na fire.

      The parents were wrong to involve the police, especially in his workplace.

      Delete
  15. May God fix it for both families...

    ReplyDelete
  16. The hrt of the king is in hand of d Lord, let her ask God to arrest d hrt of d husband... After which she will talk it over with d husband nt to allow d past affect their peace he should let old things pass away

    ReplyDelete
  17. Well, they are both good people. For the marriage to still go on after slapping your friend and police issue shows that they both have forgiving spirit. I am glad that the parents of your friend handled the matter like that. I would have done same. That prevented him from continuously abusing your friend.
    Your friend should stop feeling guilty and thereby depressed, he is trying to use that issue to manipulate her emotionally. Tell your friend to start laughing and make mockery of the whole thing once he raises the issue again. Tell her to always turn the table on him, I tell you before you know it, he will stop.
    Of course, the man will always remember because it is not easy to forget, the whole ish still hurts him. With more time, he will be fine. Best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I pray with time that your friend's husband gets over it.

    ReplyDelete
  19. You And your family Lord it over him because he was from a poor home but you forgot totally that it us his that blesses. He could have started acting up when he started making money but he loved you and still stayed with you. Some men won't stay they rather remarry. He was wrong for hitting you but from this narrative it's obvious you don't give him peace. You and your family are wicked people. Would your parents go and arrest a dangote or an Emoney as a husband for slapping you, slap o. See your husband is hurting go and apologise to him and rededicate your love and support for him. Be a good wife because as it is you have see finish him before God remembered him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Since you've justified the slap, may God give ur daughters in-laws that'll be slapping them daily

      Delete
  20. He's not serious at all,he hit someones daughter and expected the parent to keep mute? Rubbish!! Your friend should just ignore him when he starts his rubbish.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I always say that the a woman's reaction the first time a man beats her determines if he he would continue beating her.
    See ehn, I love that her parents went ghetto on his ass. Do you think it would have stopped at just a slap? It would have turned to full scale pummeling by now. This woman should be grateful that she has parents that have her back.
    Let her not mind the guy's sulking, he has not gotten over the fact that he does not have total control over his wife. When next he starts talking about stuff like that, she should ignore him. After he is done ranting continue with another topic as if nothing happened, or take your kids out or something. He cant do physical abuse so he wants to resort to emotional abuse. If you keep getting depressed, he would keep doing it cos he knows it gets to you.
    All these "my husband, my all " women sef. Make your selves happy! damn! Hope you have something doing sha? Cos the next one na financial abuse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Welcome back RSQ, don't ghost again!

      Delete
    2. Hahahaha, thanks Shining. Happy new year!

      Delete
    3. @RSK I like ur response.no need for me to type again

      Delete
  22. Next time he brings it up, let your friend speak up and tell him he hitted her 1st and that was her defence. Let him know she will go further than that if he hits her now. She should say these words with all seriousness and follow it up with silent treatment until the man comes around 1st. Why? because all those things he's doing is just to psychologically subdue her. He's testing the ground. If she soften for him and acted like the guilty one, which she's not, the abuse that will follow later, she won't be able to contain it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. It is sick for the guy to have slapped his wife. But it is a bigger failure that she didnt report the guy to his own parents first, rather she ran to mummy and her parents couldnt summon him like a son. Rather they chose to hunt him down like a thief.
    As a guy, I understand his feeling but he was wrong hitting his wife.
    The guy still feels her folks chose to act towards him that way simply because he was from a less fortunate background, afterall if his parents were equally wealthy, her parents would have called them to report their son not just trying to arrest him even taking the matter to his place of work.

    If at all you want to report your partner, the first point of call should be his/her own parents, not yours. This is because you would only end up changing the way they view your partner and it would be difficult to repair.

    Please its time your friend has a heart to heart talk with her husband about the issue mostly when they are cozy and in happy mood. They should forgive one another and make him realize shes with him all the way.

    Now he's made money and he may still feel thats the only reason hes getting the respect hes getting and that may be true. Only God knows the kind of things her parents must have told him our used in insulting him for him to still be feeling this hurt.

    I pray they overcome this. They are husband and wife.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bla bla bla...her parents action was justified period. If it's my daughter, I'll do worse sef

      Delete
    2. Beautiful and gracious8 January 2019 at 16:46

      I support her parents 100%..lmao who my support help sef

      Delete
  24. First off,don’t hit your wife.Secondly,as a wife,if your man hits you,do not tell your parents unless you have resolved to end the marriage but if not,scold your husband in any way you can but do not,I repeat,do not tell your family..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any woman who listens to this advice up there, am sorry to say,doesn't have sense!. How about,do not slap your wife unless you have made up your mind to end the marriage? that's if you can still call that violent union waiting to escalate a marriage. All you think all does women who are no more today it started from beatings? No,it began with verbal abuses then graduated to slight spanking, SLAPS, then full beating but instead of telling their family they chose to keep it to themselves or rather their husband's family who end up concealing those beatings even more.

      May sense fall on the man for trying to resort to emotional blackmail;and may double sense fall on the wife for caring that he is hurt for being put in his place.
      Scold your husband,😂😂😂 you still see yourself as a husband after physically assaulting your wife;a wife you are meant to protect, nurture, and uphold, SMH? No at that point,there's no difference between you and a total stranger and you deserve to be treated as such.

      Delete
    2. *Oh! You think all women who are no more today,it started from beating*

      Delete
    3. @anonymous 16:29, "a wife you are meant to protect, nurture, and uphold" How many of the modern day ladies will even allow a man do all of these things. Where's is feminism? Are we not equal again?

      Delete
  25. I happy your friend got her parents involved, if not, from slap I will enter serious beating...

    She should totally ignore him, he brings it up cos he knows it gets to her. He'll come around.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Sebi it’s cos the guy was broke and the girls parents are rich.If the guy was very rich and the wife’s family depended on him,them go call police?Hypocrisy and some Nigerian parents are like 5&6.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This should be a lesson and deterrence to parents, mother-in-laws and father-in-laws that have such overbearing attitude and tendency, they treat others' children like pawn and their as princes and princesses, if it had been their son that hit his wife would they have embarrassed him the way they did to the guy in question, yes, the guy went too far to have slapped his wife, they were quite young according to the poster but the in-laws were more juvenile than the couples,ask them to pacify the son-in-law now; their egotistic selves will damn it, see the avoidable trauma the woman is wallowing in now. My advice is, she keep making the husband realize that she was young and naive, she wouldn't have reported to her parents in the first place, surely time will soothe the injury.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pacify him for what? Go and buy him a pacifier cuz he actually needs one.
      Why didn't he report her to her parents instead of slapping her if he had regard for them?

      Or you don't know health complications could arise from a slap??? They gave their daughter to him to love and protect then he slaps her?? Mschew, God bless and keep those parents, amen.

      Delete
  28. Not only does he not love her family, he doesn't love her anymore as well. Probably just likes the idea of having a family for emotional security, as your friend is not assertive by nature. He uses that to manipulate her. He's truly proud & unforgiving... Anyway your friend needs to choose peace of mind, with or without him... She resents him now & it's expected!
    Let her give it abit of time though, to seek the presence of God in the marriage, meanwhile she needs to take advantage of their happy times to have constant & honest communication with him about her feelings. But if she's that unhappy to be depressed about it, she can either encourage him to go in for couple counseling or take a walk as the case may be. Everyone deserves peace

    ReplyDelete
  29. Time heal all wounds.,tell your friend to beg hubby well and if he still continues she should look on and not be depressed at all on such a trivial issue, after all, he is a father too, will he look on if someone does that to his daughter?

    ReplyDelete
  30. After slapping, "he went to beg them". He as a man was totally humiliated.
    Now, the daughter (whom the parents protect is going into depression/lacks peace) should beckon on her parents
    to go an BEG FOR PEACE. Will they stay on their high horse while their daughter die in pain?
    It is time for them to seek peace.

    Lesson: Do not treat a man (who was WRONG TO HAVE SLAPPED HIS WIFE BY THE WAY) like a child simply because you feel he
    is a "nobody". It should have been treated some other way instead of police going to his office to harass him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which other way please? No amount of talking or threats could have reset his brain though. Action speaks louder, that fear they put in him was very necessary

      Delete
    2. @17:00
      Of course, action has spoken louder than voice
      So whose child is depressed and dying?
      Who feels the pain of the man's boycott?
      As long as the man leans this way, the parents of that girl will never visit her.
      Those parents will never see their grand kids etc.
      So you see how action speaks and how loud it is?

      By the way, if that guy had been the son of a prominent politician, VP or governor,
      would the police have been sent to harass him?
      It is good to note that police is a weapon of oppression of the perceived poor in Nigeria.

      Delete
    3. They just don't belong together. I'm not sure it was even love in the first place, they were probably infatuated with each other...

      Delete
    4. I wanted to join issues with you but i think it will be a waste of time and effort @ 17.40pm.

      Delete
    5. @18:57
      You do not have issues to join.

      Delete
    6. See this one. I'm sure you are a member of the punching club. May God deliver you. And who told the parents have not been seeing their grandchildren? You just assumed because that's the type of thing you can do. You will meet your match one day.

      Delete
    7. @Shakara
      Even after I wrote it in uppercase; WRONG TO HAVE SLAPPED THE WIFE, you still feel you have issues?
      Okay, they have been seeing their grand kids in the dream.

      Delete
  31. hmm your friend's mum didn't do well by insisting that the police arrest the guy by all means. she might have her reasons but he's still her son in law. he should find a place in his heart to forgive them because marriage is a life time thing. your friend too should learn not to argue with him about it but rather accept for permanent peace to reign

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All the ones that killed their wives are they not son in law?? Abegii.

      Delete
  32. Can i ask a very honest question? What if he lost his job? What happens then?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind the fool. He'll forget all this rubbish

      Delete
  33. I know it can be difficult but this is time for her to pray for her husband and avoid topics that wil bring back such memories

    ReplyDelete
  34. This is total rubbish as far as I’m concerned 😟.
    Guy man you were totally wrong for slapping your wife absolutely unacceptable no matter what the case maybe

    On the side of the parents ahh that was absolutely foolishness for not taking the matter in a matured way for asking the police to arrest him in his place of work, Cose if he had lost his job as a result of that it will still have affected your daughter.

    Best thing to do is to forgive and and forgive and forgive with time the memories go wipe out entirely

    ReplyDelete
  35. Please, tell your friend that instead of going into depression for a husband that wants to use emotion against her (since he can't do it physically), she should go on her knees and thank God for giving her a fantastic family that will go all out to protect her. The constant panel beating that was waiting for her, that they saved her from, in that marriage is best left imagined. The first step to any cordial relationship between your husband and your family is if your husband can be truly repentant for assaulting their daughter. But that's not gonna happen.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Only time with many positive events can heal such wound.

    Every home has its issue, parents should learn to know their limits in their children's homes.

    Once your child is married, he has begun a process of building his or her own home, there is limit to what you can achieve directly there.

    Her parents went overboard by their actions, especially the mum who sent policemen more than twice.

    There is an adage in Yoruba that says we cannot return from a legal battle (court) and expect a smooth relationship, no now!

    The man also needs to pray to God to allow him to forgive her family totally.

    My wife has cheated before and I discovered, through my investigation that it was more than one person. I felt like committing suicide, I was depressed, she cried, begged, confessed, etc.

    It was a trying moment for me but I think I have overcome it now. It still flashes through my mind, especially when she does anything bad to me, I always feel like I am doing her a favour by not hitting her or cheating on her. However, it has become very better now. We are doing fine now and learning to know God together in a better way.

    Your friend ( the lady) should avoid things that can bring the bad memory to the guy.

    He loves her but her parents made the marriage a damaged goods for her.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Stella, the guy was wrong to have hit his wife but the parents crossed the line with the way they handled the situation . I'm a man and there are some certain things you don't do to a real man. Being a man is not about having money, i guess they tried to run his home because they had money and he didn't . He proved to them that he's a man by not agreeing to come live with them, but rather chose to live in his own environment no matter the state and level of the environment. I can tell you from my point of view as a man, that man will never forgive the wife's parents because the tried to un-man him and for real men, that is a line you can't cross. He won't divorce his wife because (a) he loves his wife or (b) he want to keep her around as a connection to hurt those people that hurt him when he didn't have..

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    Replies
    1. A real man will not slap his wife, there arw other civil ways of addressing issues.

      Delete
  38. The guy was wrong for slapping his wife, the woman's parents were right for involving the police but I feel that the guys anger towards his in-laws is not just because of that incident. From all indications the woman's parents are control freaks, they wanted to control their daughter and son inlaw hence the father's suggestion that the son inlaw move in with them. I'm sure for him to have refused the offer the woman's parents were always insulting the guy cos he wasn't so buoyant financially.
    My advice to your friend is that she should learn to live with her husband, talk to him let him understand the strain he's putting on her anytime he talks about her parents, tell him to forgive them and just learn to live with the knowledge that they are his in-laws.

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    Replies
    1. No they wanted their daughter to be comfortable so they offered a room in their house. Must you guys always see everything good offered from your wife's family as control. My sister's husahus is like that too. You can't offer help without him thinking there's a plan to take over his life.

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  39. The wife should not be depressed at all, she should go back to her parents house since they love her more than her abusive husband. That's why I always say 2 wrongs don't make a right....... People have always been saying there's more yo life than marriage, must she be married to the man?

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  40. Why is he shouting? He thought he deserved an accolades for slapping their daughter? I love what the parent of the wife did. If every parent in Nigeria wl do the same to all these lazy wife beaters, by now we won't be hearing of domestic violence again... He should take heart and let the wife too take heart for the slap she received too. No apology...

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  41. The depression she is feeling suggests to me she is going through more than she is telling her friend. They are now abroad and he probably has more control and knows that the fear of police is real. My suspicion is that he is emotionally abusing her and controlling the finances since he is scared of beating her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. He has found a way to deal with her since he can’t beat her again.

      Delete
  42. your friends parents went too far. if i am the guy , the marriage wil break down irreconcilable. ordinary slap and them call police, what happened to warning and cautioning him? if na me be the guy, the marriage go pack up

    ReplyDelete

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