Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative......

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Saturday, February 02, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative......

WOW!!!!








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DISOBEDIENT GIRLFRIEND


Good day Stells, 

I need advice.
For the first time in my life, i feel like sleeping and not waking up. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 6years now, he has been the nicest person in my life. 


He is responsible for my tertiary education. 2017 December, i met his family alone as he was busy with work, spent 3 days with them as instructed by my elder bro. After my 2nd day with them, i informed them i'd be leaving the next day, they complained it was too early but i told them i needed to be with my mum for her church thanksgiving service. 


This morning, my boyfriend called to inform me his family are not in support of us getting married, that i disobeyed them when they asked me to stay longer and that it is not the will of God for us to marry. 19th of February is my 29th birthday. 

Stella, i am lost, hurt, broken and tired.



*Are you kidding me????They wrote you off because of that?If you had stayed longer,they would have probably looked for another reason...I am dumbfounded and really dont know what to say!.......
Sometimes things happen for a reason,now let me ask you..Do you really want in laws like this?This might just be God giving you a sign!
29 is just a number OK?

140 comments:

  1. This is so painful. Still find a way to apologise don't write him off so soon. Let's see what others have to advise.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I called his dad this morning after i had long conversation with my boyfriend. The man just said the same thing that it is not the will of God. I apologised to him o, cos my boyfriend asked me to call him as he has even begged relatives to beg on our behalf.. no positive reponse from him.

      Delete
    2. @Poster
      You are making matters worse by begging them. Your man is not man enough to stand up to them.
      close shop about them and move on. Easier said than done if you have been sexually active with him
      but hey, you will eventually do.
      Learn your lessons about chastity and move on.

      Delete
    3. Forget them if you have done all of that. God will bring the best your way that you won't even remember the years you have wasted with him. You are still a young girl. Focus on your career. Occupy yourself. It may not be easy but God will see you thruogh. He will give you the best.

      Delete
    4. That boy doesn’t love you...... RUN...... God will bless you with a “MAN”...... if u move on fast I promise you, fear go catch am..... don’t beg, reserve all your begging for your future husband cos you will be needing it.

      Delete
    5. Maybe they want to see you finish!
      See I stayed with my prospective inlaws for 2days(told them exactly 2days) during the Christmas season and on the 3rd day I carried my bag to leave, of course they said it was too short(they said they taught I was joking), I "smilingly" said that was the period my family allowed me to stay and they accepted! Even gave tfare as is customary!

      Today we are still on course to getting married! So dem never talk wetin dey do dem!

      My dear you lost nothing! Probably dodged a bullet, a Better MAN is ahead,trust me.

      PS: I'm older than you.

      Delete
    6. Poster, be strong, life is like that. In my own case, I was in a relationship for 9 years, at the tenth year,the guy found a another chick. I cried and begged dude refused to listen. The idiot later came back and I was already in a relationship that later led to marriage. I have three kids now. Dude begged and begged with his family members, I didn't look back nor consider their marriage offer. A year later I got married to my now husband. You go de alright las las.

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    7. Poster thank your God the great provider and move on. God used him to sponsor your education. relax your mind God will provide a good husband and in laws for you. and you will thank sdkbloggers later

      Delete
    8. Pls leave the guy, his family will always interfere, they will want to control you and your man self can stand up to you. Abegii, are u begging their son o marry u ji, free him if he doesn't value ur 6years, u might meet someone within theyer and still get married. Its not how far its how well jawe

      Delete
    9. You both are not meant to be. You are both weak. You stayed 3 days, as instructed by your elder brother. You have to take decisions by yourself. You are the only one who will get married to your future husband. Your boyfriend's weakeness is on another level though. You shouldn't have begged his father.. mtcheew. You will be fine Hun. You dodged some real bullets.

      Delete
    10. Cheesi you are on point.

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    11. They are not your God. Forget them. A better man will come your way pls.

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    12. Don't beg anybody, if he can't stand for you, move on

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    13. poster it's obvious they don't want you na. even if you call and beg, they've already made up their mind especially your so called bf. Even if you get married to that guy tomorrow, they will still come with their wahala. So just move on biko. Maybe your bf is tired of the relationship. He doesn't know how to tell you and he is using his family as an excuse. If not what kinda guy would allow that shit to happen. he doesn't have respect for you. You better shine your eyes

      Delete
    14. You better thank God and run away from a man that is not man enough. Same with my inlaws : chooking mouth in our matter when we first got married, so tey my MIL will come from Nigeria and be telling me a mug in my kitchen is not Classy, she will go out and buy plates and cups because she used to buy for her son before we got married. I dont buy from Harold neither do I buy cheap plates from IKEA, I go to TKMax to sample around 🤣😂😂🤣 and buy expensive plates that you won't see around ooo.
      I will come back from work and she would have moved things or furniture in the house around etc. My husband is a very humble and quiet person who his family has manipulated so much and because I was new then I was a mumu and they will push me around, insult, even my sister inlaws talk to me like a slave but when enough was enough, I set boundaries and we all respect ourselves now even though na pretence 😏😏🤷. I show them say I be correct Anambra girl and a full blown Akokite.
      No be una bring me come abroad, today respect don dey and everyone knows their place.
      U can imagine bending down to greet these Yoruba agbaya inlaws in this abroad, my sister in law will look me like shit in the presence of my husband ooo because he dares not talk, na so dem dey treat am before.
      But today wetin happen, I don win: dem no born dem Well.
      You better thank God He's taken problem away from you from a man that might not be able to defend you when inlaw trouble starts. U never marry dem don start nonsense 😏😏. Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew

      Delete
    15. Hmmmnn. It's been a while I commented....... My dear (@Poster). Speaking from a guys perspective, that your BF has been having a double mind as regards marrying you.

      Even before you went to see his family, his mind was not fully settled on on you. His family just confirmed what he has been thinking all along.

      If a man is not crazy in love to defend the woman he wants to marry before his family, then he's not worth marrying. What kinda rubbish excuse is that??? That You only stayed for 3 days?????
      If his family wants you to stay for longer time, then let the nigga marry you naa! Init? You go dey with them for life.

      Gurl! Hold your head high, Beg no one again!!! Nansense. Asin jus lock up free the guy. Know your self worth. It might be difficult. I know your emotions are vested in that relationship. But you gass toughen up and let go.

      Let a bird fly free, if it comes back to you it's yours, If it doesn't, it never was.

      On 2 the Next!

      Delete
    16. How do you people think on this blog? The poster is not saying the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Maybe she was of band behavior while she was with them and she wanted to run away so she doesn’t expose her self. Them catch her well.

      Delete
  2. 29 and so what? Abeeg go and do thanks giving that God delivered you from that useless family. At God appointed time your spouse will locate you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind the girl.. Instead of her to be thankful to God for saving her from a manipulative family, she is here crying.

      See, you can be with a man for ten years and if no be your own, no be your own. Not all relationships lead to marriage. No be he duration biko. But its by the WILL of God.

      I am a man though.

      Delete
    2. You said he is the only son, maybe they have been expecting you to get pregnant before now. @Blessed Princess

      Delete
  3. What a silly excuse! Your boo has met another boo, forget about that family nonsense..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You dated for 6 years nawa o... why that long? You people will keep dating just one person una Weldone o
      They are not serious, they should look for another reason why they do not like you

      Delete
    2. My dear go and thank God and run for your life.

      My own in-laws did not even make it known they don't want, maybe they told hubby and he did not tell me. It was after wedding my ear full. I am paying with my life now. My womb has gone with the battle, i am waiting for the day they will come and pack my load. Nne biko gba oso

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    3. anon 19:10....your husband doesn't love you one bit or he is not a man. We allow what we want. If he is a man that loves his wife and knows how to be a man, no matter what his family tries or how hard they try to hate you, he will be solidly behind you, shield you from their talks and mess, and shut that shit down. I feel so bad for you. I hope you find yourself worth and walk out of that shit show before they come pack your bags for you. No inlaw or man is worth long term emotional stress and trauma. All the best

      Delete
  4. Poster, God may be saving you from what you can't handle in the future.


    What was living with them in 3 days like?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They appeared friendly... i kept in touch with his mum and sis after my visit unkown to me that they have been fighting him cos of me.

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    2. Don't worry too much, you will marry a good man from a family who are not drama, hatred, negativity filled.

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    3. My dear they were pretending. It is not you disobeying them that was the issue. They have something else in mind.

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    4. "They appeared friendly... i kept in touch with his mum and sis after my visit unkown to me that they have been fighting him cos of me." You didn't do anything wrong. Its a set up to get rid of you and your ex is the brain behind it all. Count the 6 years as your loss. The man just doesn't want you anymore. Your Maker will settle you. All things will work for your good. Amen.

      Delete
    5. Poster when i have some oyinbo friends that want naija babe..i actually have one german guy that asks me to fix him up but i dont got friends nd i have my own boo before people start thinkin its fake or sumtin dangerous..If u are interested,i could ask him nd u guys chat nd take it from there..I hope steall doesnt eat my comment sha

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    6. Beezee, I want oh

      Delete
  5. Ehugs darling. Nothing do you! Forget that yeye family, God will bless you with a good family that will cherish you so much.. 29? My sister in-law that is 32 says she's not yet ready for marriage. She's still rocking life so babes chilax cos you are still young.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Your boyfriend just accepted without a little argument in your favor?

    Wow!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He has been having fights with them since they informed him of their decision over a year now. He just told me of all the happenings yesterday as he can no longer handle it alone. He is the only son

      Delete
    2. Maybe they've gotten a wife for him already. And don't be surprised, he might even be aware.

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    3. Ehen, poster why are they fighting your bf because of you? What did you do? Why don't dey like you? Are you guys from diff tribes or diff religious background? Just being curious.

      Delete
  7. I'd be upset if I spent six years of my life with someone and get written off that way for no tangible reason. God will surprise you. You can meet someone today and in the next six months you'll be ringed up. Dont give up yet honey. The best is yet to come

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't even date for that long. 2 years max.

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    2. As in 6years nor be beans. Their first child would have been in primary one.

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    3. So if you dated someone at 20 and he doesn't marry you at 22 you'd pack up?

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    4. Poster said he saw her through school. May e the years in school are part of the 6 years. In which case, not bad at all cos the years just turn..

      I.wouldnt marry him though even if he should change their mind. I don't go where I am not loved

      Delete
  8. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Babe, a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. You dodged a bullet sincerely. A man that his family decide who he can marry is not Worthy to be the head of a home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even a broken marriage is not the end of the world... a living dog is better than a dead lion

      Delete
    2. Thank you Push up. So long as there's life, we keep on living.

      Delete
  10. That ya "toyfriend" need tell you another reason wey im come dump you.
    6 years toyfriend no be am o. The brat don drill well well come get tayad and you fit don shoot commot for am? If I dey wrong make you come correct me. Na to close tohtoh better pass. The thing wey I see for Naija men be say, if them don drill ya tohtoh well, you come shoot off, them go look for another sisi when marriage come dey hungry them.

    Una see that "dumped response?"
    Lost, hurt, broken, tired? Make you get up sisi come ready to face life afresh. And make you no carry yasef give man make im drill before im come pay bride price.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please stop sounding like a broken record on every post, not everything is sex! Please spare us the headache inducing pidgin as well, thanks in advance.

      Delete
    2. @15:47
      Make I spare you of pigin; really?
      If all man yarns dey cause you headache, scroll pass na
      make you no read wetin goo cause you headache inugo?
      Your real headache be say you no wan read make I say, "don't fork before marriage?"
      Solution still be say, scroll pass am; no be by force o.
      If you no fork before marriage, e dey credit my account abi e dey credit Baba God?
      Na yasef you do o.
      If you come post chronicle, na our business e don become you hear?

      Delete
    3. Very silly comment, no head no tail.

      Delete
    4. 17:01 you are the most irritating thing on this blog. Broken record is an understatement.

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    5. This woman is trying to compensate for something she did in her past. That's the only reason she thinks everyone is like her and lived the kind of life she lived and did the things she did.

      Madam, forgive yourself. Your guilt is making you obsessive and you come across as crazy

      Delete
    6. But there is truth in what the anonymous is saying. Even if she is saying it because it is her past, at least she is saying so, so that people would not make the same mistake.
      The truth in what she said is, if a man leaves me after 6years especially in this case and reason behind it, I should know God saved me from a bullet but the fact that, when sex is involved, it affects your reasoning making you think you were at loss. Try a relationship without sex and see the difference.

      Delete
  11. They're control freaks, they are very selfish set of people who only care about themselves. Didn't they hear you when you said you have to be with your mom for her thanksgiving? You better go and so your thanksgiving young lady. This yo bobo na Aboy oo, runnnnn

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  12. Hahaha take this to the bank, your boyfriend has seen you finish. It's called see finish. He's tired of you and has another girl. He just didn't know how to tell you and used this as an excuse. Sorry but move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam. Gbamer Gbamest.
      Just move on from all this rubbish. They're all wicked.

      Delete
    2. babe , why did it take your guy 6 years before introducing you to his family .so you mean u never met any of them before now nor did you even speak on the phone. The guy has not been straight with you all along .i think you should try and move on even though its not easy ,marriage is easier and peaceful when your inlaws accept you .if you eneter this one na serious battle both physical and spiritual.them go frustrate you

      Delete
  13. Beautiful and gracious2 February 2019 at 15:15

    Yeye in-laws.
    Thank God for your life, just take him has God sent to sponsor your education. I believe he came into your life for that purpose and he has fulfilled it

    ReplyDelete
  14. Can you fast? Then, do so while you pray. Seek the face of God and ask Him the way forward. Notice I didn't say you should ask Him to change anybody's mind. Right now, all you see is opposition; you don't know who is really opposing you - God, or the devil. And you need to be sure who, before you go and fight a battle that's not your own.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster pls the best thing is to walk away. In fact run as fast as you can and don't go where you are not celebrated. Nor be every thing dem dey suffer dey fast put. Nigerians🙄Any small thing na devil, enemies, bla bla bla

      Delete
    2. @Modella
      Are you antichrist? What is wrong with fasting, seeking God's face?
      Must you attack everything that is godly?
      Give your own piece of advice and go.

      Delete
    3. anon10:09 abeg make we hear word. hypocrites everywhere. You that is telling someone to fast and pray when last did you pray? Do you know if God is showing her a sign to leave that relationship? Any small thing is fast and pray. Someone wants to jump inside fire and you're telling the person to fast and pray before entering fire so that the fire will not burn her. Mtchewwww. poster if you must fast and pray, pls fast and pray for a better man that won't waste time in marrying you, one that would love you unconditionally without family wahala. Don't starve yourself fasting for your bf and his family to change their mind. They are showing you signs already if you like still shook head put. Na you sabi. Ain't coming back to read comments. All the "judginas" are free to menstruate under my comment. una ndo. Any small thing they will start shouting fast and pray meanwhile you can solve the ish yourself. those people shouting fast and pray are those that don't even pray. they have not even opened their Bible since last year. but will come here and start ranting

      Delete
    4. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    5. Modele, anonymous didn't say fast and pray to change the man or his family's mind(she states it) but the fasting and praying is for a direction on how to move forward. Please don't be annoyed with the anonymous biko

      Delete
  15. Thank God for removing you from such a controlling family. He will take you to a better and peaceful one.

    29 you say? Abeg chill dear, it's better to get it right once and for all, the age doesn't matter please.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I don't believe that boyfriend of yours! That's a very silly excuse na.. And he couldn't find a way to defend you?? Sorry sis, he's been meaning to dump you... Move on!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe oh, some families are that wicked, they have no joy. Infact only marry into a family that is similar to yours in their values, qualities and way of life. Some families are so strange and weird and wicked and different. Avoid them cos you may never win their war. They will frustrate you out of the marriage. This is Nigeria, it happens everyday.

      Delete
  17. Their excuse is unbelievable. Just like that? Some people are wicked. Would they be happy if it happens to their daughter? Where they expecting you to stay till thy Kingdom come when you are not even marry to them yet. Disobey ko.obey ni.
    Poster if your boyfriend can't stand his ground 4 you just 4got it. God knows why it has to be that way. He may be saving 4rm danger. If you ve chance go n meet them and apologise if them go hear cos their excuss nor hold water.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Babe, dust yourself up, 29 is never late, you say I wouldn't understand
    My bf fell out of love with me and felt it was over in my life but come on I realized it was all for my good.
    A sane family should know you are from a responsible home to think of attending your mums thanksgiving. They ain't good people. Cry and let your heart out, much later you be bless God for saving you.
    Another thing your BF isn't man enough, why should his family make decision for him, if he truely loves you, he would have stood his grounds. It's well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. True, about the guy. Poster don't beg anyone of them. Just dust your body and move on. I moved on with pregnancy sef.

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    2. But why do you girls give your bodies to boyfriends? I think it's better to marry girls off when they are 17 before they become messed up.

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    3. At castle somethings just makes me sad, in this life people who give all in relationship never gets it. Poster please just cry and let go.

      Delete
    4. Anon 17.34 Really? Are you not in this world again? where no guy would want to date you because you refused sex. Am here 29,single, not because men aren't asking me out but because most of these men carried sex on their head like crayfish.
      Well i know with God I will eventually meet a man who has a godly stance and who will be different from all the guys who think sex is their birth right. When did premarital sex become a must in most relationship?. I don't know if you are a guy but stop acting ignorant like you don't know most of these girls are pushed to the wall.

      Delete
    5. Anon 17:34 this is 2019...

      Delete
    6. How about, why do men pester their girlfriends for their bodies?. But no,It is always the women's fault. They messed themselves up by themselves. Yea right.

      Delete
    7. @Kokolet
      And so? Is 2019 the year of fornication?

      Delete
  19. Posted better thank your God, assuming you’re married to that guy you would have cried blood. I wished mine happened earlier

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear same here, dey pretend to love me.

      Delete
  20. I just have the feeling that your boyfrnd is lying.. He is probably looking for a way to leave you..what a silly excuse! So I was just reading through today's spontaneous post and I saw my name among the beneficiary of the data giveaway..yaaaay! God bless you Stella and thanks for choosing me beloved, I have mailed you.

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  21. This is not funny buy I laughed really hard at the lame excuse. Please if you kill yourself, he will still be with many women after your demise. No man is worth dying for.

    ReplyDelete
  22. U re 29, so what really? U re still very young baby girl, no need to panic. I can bet U don't wanna belong to that family, but U re pressuring urself.. Firstly, I don't think a man can be too busy for a woman he claims to love enough, he should have been the one to take U to his parents... Secondly, I don't believe this guy is man enough for U, imagine him telling U his parents don't agree to the marriage, giving some flimsy reason why. Lemme tell U this, A man who truly wants to marry a woman, fears to lose her & will @least put up a fight to keep her, even if it doesn't work out eventually... Meanwhile a man can love U & still not wanna wife U, most men look out for certain morals/qualities that will benefit their kids... whatever the case is, don't take it personally, he has played his role in ur life & has cleared the path for ur hubby to continue from.. Most of us didn't end up with the ones who took care of us, so it doesn't mean he's destined to be ur life partner.. just thank him for the help & walk away

    ReplyDelete
  23. Na wa for life so2 February 2019 at 15:40

    Poster congratulations. I say congratulations again. God has answered your prayers. AHH God loves you most especially in this life. Babe,start singing praises everyday from relieving you from bondage. Thank God say you no carry belle or anything in those 6years. If not you won't have gotten away cleanly from this kind of family. Cry just to relieve yourself of the pain of heartbreak .but please celebrate as from next week. Start a jubilation prayer for relive from future wahala .

    ReplyDelete
  24. Dude is over you and his family is helping him get rid of you. Move on!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Haha poster I believe you wella cos this has happened to me before!! Boo's family said I didn't keep the water jug where I was asked to keep it, like I kept it on one table instead of the other that I should have simply obeyed. Naive me then begged, and all but they maintained their NO. Today I'm grown, much more successful, much more happy, grateful to God it didn't work with him. Rejection is God's protection always, Cos I'm with someone far better in every way. Yours is so hurtful cos 6yrs is a long time but stay strong and hold unto the Lord. Leave that family, even if you marry him, they will frustrate you out of the marriage. E-hugs**

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See stupid excuse o. Just because of jug.

      Delete
    2. Yours was hug, mine was because I look like igbo and I was born and grew up in Lagos.
      I was told that I look and act too smart, that I will control their son(1st).
      That was it, I cried but thank God for my mom, God bless her, she helped me through that period, and God blessed me with a good man, am happy.
      My dear you're 29 years young,God will bless you with your own.

      Delete
  26. I know only sons are usually a bit sentimental and careful when dealing with their parents but this is outright weakness on your bfs part and wickedness on the parents part.

    Didn't the parents know you both have been dating that long? Why do they now want to dictate for him at this point, what if it were their daughter? And as for that 'boy'friend of yours? He's just not serious


    Just don't force anything. Let things fall in place naturally. Las las, you go dey alright..

    ReplyDelete
  27. I wonder how A grown man will not be able to make his own decisions based on a life partner. Why are we like this in this country? if it's not tribe it is pastor's vision or another silly family excuse. I'm tired of all these! Happiness is key. I will marry anyone that loves me and make me happy

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  28. Nigerian mentality is trash! people will not marry who they love because of family. When will all these shit change?

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  29. Who the hell do they think they are? Are they God? That your boyfriend is an asshole. Better thank your God for exposing them. Move on & be happy. Your husband will come in time. Being 29 & single isn't a death sentence. Cheer up babe.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You would find someone better, I’ve been in your shoes before- I dodged the bullet from his mother’s controlling ways...the girl he is with now is suffering and regretting her decision. I realized I would be fighting the mother till she dies if I marry her son- I took my two legs and ran. You would be fine, time heals all wounds

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  31. my dear as they said broken relationship is better than broken marriage . cheer up that family don't deserve you and stop carrying your age on your head.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Your boyfriend is a piece of shit! Trust me you don't want to be part of such a family. Like what the hell?!! Is this 1777? Who are these women that beg these sort of men? I am so disgusted! And you are begging? Really?! See Lady I was in a relationship for 13 years. Yes, 13years. 19 years old to 33 years old. He woke up one day and told me "I don't think this would work out. We are no longer compatible." He was married 4 months later. She was 23 years old. Mind you he was 35. I attended the wedding, ate properly, gave them a gift and vamoosed! I continued (and still) living my best life till I married last year November. I am 39 years old.

    Do not ever reduce your worth. No nice man would do that to you. Ever! He lost interest a long time ago. His parents are just decoys. Throw away that relationship. You still have more than 6 years on earth. I am 10 years older than you and I still have more than 20 years hopefully on earth. Even if he loves you, he is spineless and you'd need a man with grits and guts in a relationship or marriage if you choose.

    If you were my younger sister, I would drill sense into your skull. It hurts I know but there are worse things in life and you know. End all conversations with him and his family instantly. Oh I forgot, my ex had the guts to tell me a year after the break up when his marriage was in crisis that he thought I "would fight for us." Big joke. They usually (not always) come back when they realize they fucked up! Move on! As for men? You would still have your pick. Don't
    Worry. You are a diamond, do not hide your reflection. Cry if you want but that's it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. BV Letty you are my kind of girl!! Poster please move on. Cry in private but act and be happy in public and see how you will attract a far better man.

      Delete
    2. Awon fighters! He is mad. And the woman he married will be all over social media extolling his virtues not knowing he’s actually a big piece of cow shit

      Delete
    3. Sometimes as we grow older some kind of sense just fall on us and like they say, "time heal all wounds". This poster will look back in 5 years from now and laugh her heart out.she sure will be okay

      Delete
  33. The guy must have told his family he does not want you again, they are just looking for an excuse to discharge you it's their game plan, not easy but try and move on.

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  34. It just shows how controlling the family is and how less of a man your boyfriend is..they don't deserve you..age is just a number..it doesn't define happiness.. Please brace yourself up and move on..

    You don't deserve the everyday battles this family will be coming up with..they will just take away your peace of mind and frustrate you if try to have a say of your own..
    My dear..Hold on to God and let him surprise you..

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  35. That boyfriend of yours is weak. When I was still dating my hubby, I only visited their family house twice, and I never spent more than 3 days with them. I didn't even know the way to their kitchen, their maids cooks and serves my food.
    Where do you guys meet these kind of in-laws? You haven't even entered, and you're already fighting battles. Are these the kind of in-laws you want to identify with? Age is just a number, marriage is not a bed of roses, talk more of adding evil in-laws to it.

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  36. Six good years doing what biko...the guy never truly loved u, wasted years.u will see the signs and still continue.have u not been seeing the family before.infact tired of stipud girls.have been married now that six years.dated few months.my inlaw told hubby it's too soon as he left a previous relationship a year berfore we met.the mom said he should wait and pay all her bills before marriage.hubby refused.all this childish people.till date hubby younger bro is not married cos family keep rejection his rlthshp.he married under two weeks them divorce cos d sis was controlling him.till now no marriage.na now he dey wise up...pls let go

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  37. Hmmmm Nne pls thank God for what He has done for you.what is 29 ? I married at 36. I am four yrs younger my husband. God blessed me with 3 beautiful children. I can't discribe how my husband loves and adores me. You dodged a bullet.your boy friend does not have mind of his own. Pls relax and wait for your own. Pls don't beg them again. Move on kiakia

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  38. So you should love them more than you love the family you were born into? You should obey their wishes and discard the wishes of your own birth mother? Let me guess, they are probably quite well off and have a puffed up spirit where nobody ever says no to them. On top, they probably feel that marrying into their family is a honour above all and to carry their family name is heaven on earth. Any group of ppl who think you should disobey your own mother and favour them over your own family are not ppl you want to get involved in. They would micromanage your marriage and expect that you will follow any requests they make whether you like it or not. You would never be an equal in their eyes. You would never know peace with them because their superiority complex would see you as beneath them anyhow. No in-laws should ever expect you to favour them above your own parents or to break your promise to the woman who carried, birthed, and raised you so that their desires can be fulfilled. Cry as many tears as you need to cry, but do not beg them or disturb their telephone, they do not deserve even common courtesy from you, because they were there smiling in your face even pretending sadness when you were leaving but planning to cook your goose while you were there apologizing. Girl, there deception is too much. They just don't like you and don't want you in their family, period!

    Cry, but dust yourself off and get back to the business of life. God is your strength.

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    Replies
    1. Gabe! Gbammmer!! Gbammest !!!

      This is it!!!!

      Delete
  39. Poster count your blessings. That kind of family na 'jump and pass' 'God forbid bad thing' family. Nonsense and ingredients. I just wish you will get over that relationship so fast that it will make their head spin. Beg them for what?! God punish Devil. Tufiakwa!

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  40. Poor poor family.. those are the people that always use that excuses, you can never hear a family from the rich background giving such stupid excuses for marrying or not.

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  41. Dear poster, I am sorry for what you are currently going through. Everyone who has commented has spoken well. No matter the temptation/how he begs, do not marry that guy. You are beautiful, remain beautiful and blessed

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  42. Don't worry yourself poster
    Que Sera Sera ... You cant force it
    It okay to cry , it okay to hurt ..
    You will find someone worth it more deserving and better .. Dont beg them oooo donnnnnnnnnt!!!! o

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  43. I just turned 29 yesterday with 2 kids but believe me it's not all about the age.
    You might have just dodged a bullet. A good man will find you someday

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How.is your turning 29 with 2kids relevant to the conversation? Smh

      Delete
    2. Don't mind the petulant 29year old Nique or whatever she calls herself.
      If you have nothing relevant to say, it is okay to read and pass!

      Delete
  44. Abeg forget them jor. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

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  45. Poster, thank God for saving you from such family. That your guy no really love you o and the kind of person that the family want is someone that will always look up to them, a timid person.
    I don't think that I can even allow my Daughter to go visit any prospective In- law, what for nau?
    Forget about them, REJOICE,God has a beautiful plan for you.

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  46. Please dear poster move on. That your boy friend is no longer in love with you. Thank God he was used to see you through your university. Just move on a better husband awaits you

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  47. My sister let them chop their son. I know it's painful but the truth is that your boyfriend is not man enough to stand by you. I remember when I was dating my husband and the mother insisted that I come to visit her. My husband was out of the country then. He called her and told her that I can't come, not until we are married. That he doesn't own me yet. He defended me.even as we have gotten married I have still not gone on my own to spend time with her. Leave him .God would bring your own and it would shock you. Meanwhile I was 30 when I met my husband. The one that is for you will stay

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  48. Poster, they are looking for a wife they will control and put under their armpit.
    Run for your life or stand your ground. No begging or crying.
    If your boyfriend is not man enough to fight for your love and marriage, then he is not good enough for you.

    They would rather you missed your mum's thanksgiving (the reason u gave them) than "disobeying" (rather not doing their command) them.
    My dear, it is better to marry right at 40(not wishing you ooo) than marry wrong at 29.
    These people will so frustrate you, that you will become a maid or slave in your husband's house.
    You and him will be under their control and manipulations.

    Indeed, It is d will of God. God has used him to see you through school and probably render other financial help.
    Now his work is done and he is letting you go.
    Instead of begging and crying, go and do thanksgiving, while writing your Prince charming.
    Remember to carry God along and be a team mermaid.

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    Replies
    1. My dear Tru word ooo.wron marriage can make one go insane

      Delete
  49. Don't you even think of begging that guy and his family. He is a born idiot and trust me, you have just dodged a massive bullet. Forget the fact that you both have been together for 6 years, that guy is not for you. You probably would have regretted the marriage trust me! If I may ask...is he from Ondo, lol. The reason why I asked is because I was in your same shoes and predicament when I was 29 too, engaged to a guy called Rotimi. Na so Rotimi talk say make we go visit en in-laws for Ondo o...we got there, they created me and we're all full of smiles and conversation between us all was on point. Was very tired that same evening we got to Ondo so Rotimi took me to the visitor's room, na so I sleep reach like 7pm in the night Rotimi came to wake me up, thinking may be food don ready make we chop (as I be visitor naa, loollllll), Rotimi just said they needed me to cook soup for everyone to eat!!! I looked at my ex-fiance kon dey wonder...was I dreaming?? I even asked him the same question...and asked him that if I didn't come, what would they have eaten...and it was my fucking first time coming to their house....Rotimi was like..en..you know...your a lady bla bla bla.i shook my head at him and still went ahead to make egusi soup for the house. The next day, I told my ex-fiance that I was going back to Lagos. Few months down the line, guess what my ex-fiance called me and ended things off with us!! No reason, no explanation! I was sooo baffled and down...thank God for my female friends then...they proper looked after me while I was going through this emotional breakdown. Didn't want to tell my family because I just didn't know why Rotimi left me, until when my sister called me up and started preaching to me the 'morals of a woman in her future husband's house'...then she told me Rotimi called her to inform her of our break-up and when she asked why, he told her about the visit in Ondo and what transpired!!! I was shocked!!! Was that the fucking reason why he ended it allllllllll???!!! I asked my sister. My sister said yes, and she even use style dey support him say 'in Yoruba land, a woman must always be submissive...that even though I eventually cooked the food that should not have grumbled at first' ...In my head I was soooooooooooooooooooo mahd! Like...this was why Rotimi called it quits with me?!!!! Fuck him. I went clubbing that night with the girls...had fun with some student from Spain and Columbia... totally worth it...took my mind off that mudafucker and I never called him. Few months later Rotimi started calling again, and was asking if I have seen the errors in my ways...ommmoooooooooo....I was even mader and told him that I have moved on...he was shocked! Fine boy like him( and true true this guy gone die! Lol). It took me a while to find love again...years sef...but met my DH like 3 years later and till today...himself and his family treat me with total respect...because I do the same in return...but Rotimi's own was too much jeere! So, my dear ..this kain guy and his family is a 'no no' for you...unless you enjoy frustration and stress, then continue to dey beg am. Hiss!

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  50. He's not the guy for you, if not he won't used such silly excuse to break up with you. he must have being harbouring it in his mind I swear.

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  51. This is just so paradoxical. Before we got married, my then bfs parents asked me to come and spend some time with them. After 2 days I told them I was going home. They begged me to stay. But i refused stating that my parents didnt know i came to stay in their house and i didnt feel comfortable about it. I told them i only came because they requested me to because i didnt want to turn down their request. I couldnt stay any longer since my parents were not aware. May years later after we got married my father- in - law referred to it stating that was the very reason he fell in love with me as his sons choice for a wife. He said a girl who could be careful about what her parents thought would be careful about anybody who had authority over her. That was the singular reason why he encouraged his son to go ahead and marry me! I was quite surprised when i heard that.
    So poster, these people cannot make good in laws to you. They are not good people. Period.

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  52. God sends people into our life's to assist us through life struggle.

    Count it all joy! Its his loss

    Maybe you're not meant for each other. Its better he's the one saying all this.

    Maybe God allowed that to happen so you won't be accused of using him through school.

    It's difficult convincing your guy about what happened in his absence.

    Next time try not to visit your would be in-laws alone and if possible don't stay long in the first visit.

    Best of luck.

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  53. Aunty you dodged AK-47 rifle spray. This guy is not your husband. He’s a fuck boy.

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  54. Hmmm. First be absolutely sure you are the best thing to happen to any man or his family. When you have convinced yourself about that then you will realise the end of that relationship is their loss and a more deserving person will come. Why spend time with people who have not paid one naira on your head or been formally introduced to your parents. Some old values that we so easily discard are for our own good. If you are doing all this wife duties after some formality they would not treat you so shabily. And what are you doing with any guy for 6 years? Ladies stop giving your youth to time wasters. They dont know the value. If they did this guy would consider the 6 years before throwing it all away just for some flimsy excuse. Pele.

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  55. Hmmm. First be absolutely sure you are the best thing to happen to any man or his family. When you have convinced yourself about that then you will realise the end of that relationship is their loss and a more deserving person will come. Why spend time with people who have not paid one naira on your head or been formally introduced to your parents. Some old values that we so easily discard are for our own good. If you are doing all this wife duties after some formality they would not treat you so shabily. And what are you doing with any guy for 6 years? Ladies stop giving your youth to time wasters. They dont know the value. If they did this guy would consider the 6 years before throwing it all away just for some flimsy excuse. Pele.

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  56. Dear poster, it's sad but give thanks to God.
    I too left a 6 years relationship at 29.it hurt so bad that I initially had a lot of hatred towards my ex ..
    Today I am super grateful, if I have the opportunity to see my ex I will say thank you to him.
    I got married at 31 to the love of my life. I have wonderful inlaws, opportunities that I couldn't even dream off if I were with my ex is my lot. Above all I am super happy.
    It will hurt now but you will rejoice.
    That guy was looking for how to get rid of you hence it took your elder brother asking you to go see his folks all by yourself to unravel things.my dear kiss your brother for me.
    You will look back on today and laugh at yourself and probably call your self stupid for begging. E-hugs darling. You will be fine.
    Trust me you dont want such kind of inlaws.
    Cry all you want, wipe your face, shake and dust your self up, smile and never look back.

    Your ex is too weak a man to end the relationship by himself. If you get married to him my dear...hell would be a better place .

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  57. He has moved on, I suggest you do the same. Do you girls think of your future pedigree and respect in the eyes of your in laws before y'all pick up your phones and start calling your fellow human being's parents and relatives grovelling and scratching with catarrh nose desperately begging to be married??? When you have finished selling your self so cheaply , you will now be looking for respect. Mshewww

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  58. Your bf/ex bf and his father are not okay. My sister u better move on fast cos you dodged a bullet. Don’t even think about your age, I am very sure there is a better person out there for you.

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  59. Ur in laws ar mad fa... What kind of silly excuse is this? And ur puppet boy friend tow their path right? It is well with you.

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  60. 29 years is still young poster. Relax your own man will find you. I met my DH at 35 was engaged 4 months later and got married at 36. You don't have any problem. Cheer up okay.

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  61. Poster take it from someone who was in ur shoes some years back at the same age, u will be very grateful to God this ended, in my own case I haven't found my husband yet but I know he is near, after my ex fiancée called it off based on flimsy reasons when we had picked a date and were making preparations, I almost ran mad, pleaded with his family they didn't burge, went for several prayer meetings and fasted, but alas it wasn't d will of God. Few months down the line things began to unravel and I realized God really saved me, I am eternally grateful to him,if he had allowed me marry into that family, I ️wud have been miserable or worse than that.

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  62. Dear Poster, I hope your morning of joy comes soon. I read somewhere that just as we thank God for open doors, we should thank Him for closed doors. You were about to marry a "baby boy" from a selfish, conceited family, God saw your heart and stopped it. Thank him after crying to him. Our antiquated culture exposes weaklings masquerading as MEN. He is not only weak, he is wicked. Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from God, not :"whichever family findeth a wife.....". 29 is young. I have been married for 25 years with SILs that think they are the best thing since sliced bread, even when for the most part I was doing better than them professionally. However my late MIL and FIL loved me and I still miss them though they are dead. My husband stands up for me, protects me from their proud wicked actions. To the person who recommended prayer and fasting, you will be surprised his family claim christianity, wicked as they are. My SILs all claim born again but one of them is a professional "yemiwo baba visitor" who told my husband horrible things supposedly from one baba when we were dating. I heard the wicked things she said and as a bonafide SU from my teenage years, I rejected it. Heaven backed me. 25 years later, they still dislike me but sometimes need me. Some in laws call hubby in the office that they want to come and stay. He tells them I'm the woman of the house to call me. I could go on and on but in my case my parents in law and brothers in law were ok. Do not go into a family that treats you wickedly either because of their delusions of grandeur or whatever. Begging was a mistake.
    God will make your husband find you soon and to all the single ladies, your divine husband who will stand by you and for you will locate you in Jesus name.
    Never beg a man to marry you. As mean as my SILs are, they know their bile isn't welcome in my home. My hubby knows and loves me, never talks about me to them, we have had our moments like every couple but he doesn't confide in them. They lost the opportunity to be close to their most successful brother, his equally successful wife and children already on the path of success. They can only look me and the children up on SM (I'm not on SM) because whoever isn't close to me is not even in their circle as they know very few Naijas and ask me if I know xyzzy with a Nigerian name who wants to friend them on social media. Leave the past, God sees you and will give you a MAN who is proud of you and happy you are in his life.

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  63. Poster yor story is vrty Unfortunate but I think we all can't conclude until we hear his side of the story. People naturally give versions of stories that makes them look like the victim or the saint. You are 29 trust me sister u have the best ahead of you. Either way move on.

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  64. I'm very confused as to why you're calling to beg. Or is there something you did that you've not told us you did, that warrants begging? Poster, stop giving people power in your life that God didn't intend them to have.

    Go and seek the face of God, to know who is really opposing you. If we all turned back at the first obstacle because we interpreted it as a sign that God is against us, no woman would agree to have more than one child. In fact, many already in labour for the first child will say they're not doing again.

    I'm very worried by this generation. What you're supposed to pray about and get clear direction from God is what you'll allow yourself to be destabilised over. But the one that you're not supposed to venture is what you'll enter by yourself and say you're praying - like people who go opening their legs for men they're not married to, "falling pregnant" and next thing you'll be dragging man wey no send you, on social media. Or those who knowingly enter marriages with abusers. Nine out of 10 Nigerian women in abusive marriages saw signs before they entered. But greed and "what will people say" refused to let them be great. When they're beaten out of the marriage, many of them call themselves into ministry aka "God took me through to bring me out for the sake of others". Bloody liars. That God delivered you, doesn't mean He's the one that sent you.

    Just like the fact that God sent you, doesn't mean it will be smooth sailing. How many people here wrote JAMB more than once? Some of you are believers, prayed, studied, refused to cheat, failed JAMB. Why didn't you give up on attending university; after all it's not compulsory? Leave all those ones who say if it's God, your enemies will be at peace with you. The only time your enemies are at peace with you is if they are AFRAID. Meaning something must happen to cause their fear! I didn't say you should go and look for trouble by yourself.

    I laugh when people talk about in-law problems. In the family you come from, is everybody sane? So what's the difference? Yes, I am married. And my in-laws are terrified. Not because of me; who am I? They legit believe I'm a witch cos 1) There's nothing they plan that works & they keep wondering how I know, 2) I agreed with my husband that we will never fight cos of them. I'm successful in my career but it's my marriage that made me know my God is alive. You don't fear a God you don't know. The day my husband told me to ignore my mother-in-law because she has no say where I'm concerned - I was shook. Cos she was ranting and vibrating, oh. An elder that came from the village, physically removed her from my presence and she didn't understand what was happening. So all she was doing with a lot of effort was just hot, empty air. It's what I say that will be - which is why I hold God very well now, so that He can help me hold my mouth and I don't destroy anybody.

    Poster, if you like, don't seek the face of God and ask for clarity and strategy. You're begging people that have no say in your life. People it doesn't take God any effort to remove. Shior! Small challenge comes, lose your mind and dissolve into tears. If it turns out that this man is the Will of God for your life, the cry you're crying now will be rehearsal.

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  65. See,poster,just be grateful to God.wetin you wan carry that kain man do??
    I can understand why you're begging/begged(when emotions enter this matta,common sense dey fly comot from window).been there,done that so I know.The guy is totally spineless and most times these kind of guys can like to drag you into loooong relationships ehn but when its time for that final plunge into commitment,they duck!

    They are also easily swayed by every contrary wind of other people's opinions (tho they'll never admit it).my current bf was once in a relationship with a girl for TEN yrs,'something' happened, the last before me nko?that one was 6yrs and it didn't 'work out'.....thank you!2yrs with me and I'm done,though he doesn't know.with that kain track record wey im get,he'll likely tow the same line and since I don't have that kind of time to squeeze out,I don move.
    You have to DROP the emotions and try to be logical.The flimsy excuse of not staying long enough at his parents is soooo absurd!he just wasn't man enough to break up with you,so he asked his parents to do it for him.you need a real MAN.Move on ,live life,touch lives,be happy,TRUST God and your man will come waltzing into your life.

    ReplyDelete

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