Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Tuesday, February 05, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm.......









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

BROTHERS AFFAIR


My brother broke up with his girlfriend in December and i have been feeling so bad about the whole thing, when he came home with the girl 2 years ago he didn't introduce her as his girlfriend but we all know him well, he won't bring any girl home if there is nothing between them, honestly my spirit didn't flow with the girl,all of us not only me anyway, all because she is not a slay queen, she is a SU but she uses tiny earrings, since she came to our house, she calls during our birthdays but she won't initiate conversation between us because she is older, guess she does not know how we will feel if she called us by our names which we don't see as anything, she will always avoid mentioning our names.

We complained about it to our brother to tell her we are not all this primitive Yoruba no-one cares about all that shit.

Since my brother started dating her she's always talking about marriage and my brother said he always emphasis on the fact that he is not ready to settle down till he gets a good job that can sustain a family, but this girl really wants marriage, her parents called several times and my brother visited them more than thrice concerning this wedding talk he said he always tell them the same thing, the lady is 29 the pressure is much on her, my brother said he told her times without number that if she gets a better suitor than him she can go ahead cause he is not ready to settle down. My brother started avoiding her in September due to the pressure she is Is mounting on him, the lady father even contacted my brother pastor, they attend the same church but in different state and her dad is a pastor, I was aware of all this but the advice I usually gave my brother was that he should just keep praying about it.

What caused the whole break up now is that the lady told my brother's friend in church that he has been avoiding her cause she is talking about marriage, the guy saw my brother and told him that why is he doing like this that by now he should be planing to settle down that not until he has big money, my brother was angry and stopped picking the lady's call, then he told her that he does not think this relationship can work anymore.

He didn't even inform us about it and my mum still calls the girl and she calls too as if nothing happened, my mom said she likes the girl but can't decide for my brother he knows what is best for him, honestly I'm not happy about the whole thing and I don't know what to say to my brother he listens to me if I advise him, the girl is heartbroken,have been seeing her messages on WhatsApp status

Today she sent messages to my brother cursing him. I really don't know what to tell my brother cause he is really waiting for me to say something


If you force a man who is not ready to marry,you would successfully bargained for jail time....If he is not interested in getting married now leave him....How can he talk Marriage when he does not have a means of taking care of his family?Or you want him to depend on you to eat?Why do some parents put so much pressure on their kids?I really don't get it..Please leave your brother alone and let the desperate girlfriend leave him alone...

71 comments:

  1. Only God can cure us from this imbalance, ladies are more ready but the men are not. We just have to keep praying earnestly to God cos in this case nobody is superior.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SU that was busy chopping things, that’s why she’s hurt
      Anyway why did your brother tag her along for two years, 2years isn’t 2 days and who goes into a relationship just like that especially with a decent girl? He just wasted her time.
      You all cannot force him so if it’s over it’s better so she can move on to someone more deserving

      Delete
  2. Your brother should not have gotten together with a girl in her late 20's if he wasnt thinking of marriage in the immediate future.
    Madam girl too should have taken a walk as soon as your brother stated that marriage wasnt in his immediate plans.

    Ladies learn from this, keep your options open, if you cant double date please only allow yourself to catch feelings with someone who shares the same views/goals/ambitions with you at that present time.....dont hang around a guy hoping he will change his views to yours, your "suffering and endurance" means nothing to them.....his family "loving" you is a non factor as well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are very right. Everybody knows that at 27, the average naijs girl of ready for marriage unless she says oyherothe so why date her and start telling her no marriage yet. That's not fair. My advice. If your brother liked her he should go ahead and marry her . Her parents aready and they'll probably help him. Making it on your own is overrated. The friend talking to him about it is not a reason to leave. Nothing better than bring with someone vthat loves you this much. She wants marriage. Give her marriage and if she's the typical good naija girl, you'll have heaven on earth

      Delete
    2. Your comment is spot on. I'm 27 right now and the pressure from my family to settle down is too much. Right now anyone I'm going into a relationship with, from the onset just tell me what exactly you want. I can't be waiting for someone to start stringing me along Abeg.

      Delete
    3. This is the truth Sylvia. Poster your brother should not be too hard on her, he should understand a 27 year old lady knows what she wants in relationship, at this stage of her life she needs no chewing gum boy friend.

      Delete
  3. I hate the fact that some parents put pressure on their children to marry.
    Poster you can't force your brother to marry her and from your write up, even if your brother has a better job he wouldn't marry her. Your family never really likes her. Stop medling in your brothers affair.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Side chikito
      I see say this mata called marriage dey anger you well well.
      Na to scatter am you dey eh?
      Make you allow marriage catch you o
      Side chick no be work; abi?
      Na scattering of good work im be inugo?
      I hope say you no go send thunder come my smooth nyansh eh?
      Na only advice I give o.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous 16:21
      I no go send thunder come your smooth nyansh cos e far but na to fuck your BF or hubby for sweet me pass. Don't look at my I.d just read my message, I didn't state my opinion base on my job as a side chic.
      I was only advising the poster to stop forcing things to be.
      Would you anonymous rather want the lady to get stock in a relationship that the guy wouldn't marry her but eat her youthful age? Not as if the poster or the family really loves her. Let the lady move on, 29 isn't late but ain't time to be dwelling in a heartbroken relationship where she be traumatized emotional.
      By the way side chic na big time job, not for the faint hearted.

      Delete
    3. @Side Chikito
      Make I carry sic. spanner work (some of) that thing wey you yarn there;
      I didn't state my opinion BASED on
      where she will be traumatized EMOTIONALLY

      Ahaaaa, na so (we) Oyinbo dey yarn am
      So you say you wan carry fork fork my darling eh?
      That one wicked pass thunder wey una dey send enter my smooth nyansh na?
      But make I yarn you correct yarns; how una go carry do am?
      Na gunpoint abi na "knife point"/gang-rape una go do?
      I been dey ask because that one sabi karate well well and I know say im no
      dey chop side chickens. 😂😂😜😊

      Delete
    4. Omo this blog sweet die 😂😂😂😂😂😂 I Don laugh so tey I no fit stand up again 😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
  4. I never knew SU girls could be desperate for marriage. What happened to 'Let his will be done'?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment left me in stitches "what happened to let they will be done" height of savagery. LMAO

      Delete
    2. Anon you are wicked. Hahahahha

      Delete
    3. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 let their will be done keh 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
  5. I believe there is something holding your brother back from marrying the lady. not just finance. the lady is desperate. when your brother sees his heart desire he will marry her within weeks, with or without better job

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, God bless you.
      That's what some of us don't understand about men, you cant force them to be with you, use all the food ,sex and "love" in the world, if they don't want you, they don't , don't force it. She should be happy he made it clear, move on already. What if he deceived you and months later he marries another

      Delete
    2. Thank you. you have said it all.

      Delete
    3. I beg to differ. I’m a young man early 30s. I’ve been with my girl for 6 years. I really wanted to get married early. I earning 250k a month at 24 some 10 years ago. My then gf left not because I didn’t want to get married coz I did but because well she found someone “better” (richer lol). So I switched off marriage and focused on my career and met current gf at 28. She was in 23 in 100 lev in Uni and didn’t want to get married until graduation. I was abroad for the most part of our rship (3+ years). Eventually I came back with plans to to marry immediately. Through fraud and a bad investment I lost a lot of money. Was and still am overqualified for most jobs, with my side business wound down, plus the economy and the fact that my skill sets very specific means I’m experience a financial downturn I have never been used too. My girl would soon be 29 and just finished service and the pressure to marry is on. What’s my reason for the delay? It’s simple the current state of my finances. Do I love my gf. Hell yeah. Do I want to marry anyone else? Errr No. But the truth is that marriage in Nigeria involves a lot, and in most cases the transfer of some of the responsibilities of your spouses family to you her husband. She is a 1st daughter with 5 younger once. From a humble background. After marriage, then comes children and trust me when the bills start rolling in the people shouting “when you’ll you marry etc wouldn’t be there to help with fees, antenatal, emergencies etc. Unless you are an irresponsible young man who doesn’t have a problem suffering somebody’s daughter, the truth is any reasonable young man who wants to take good care (emphasis on good care) of his family would approach the issue of marriage with serious considerations especially of his financial standing in a country like ours. Perhaps like I did with my girl a heart to heart is needed plus the considerable commitment and support I showed her over the years when I had (she never ever lacked a thing, always came first still does) and the effort she sees me putting daily to get back up helps her understand. I also explained the situation to her people. There was the initial pressure but now it’s eased off a bit. So cheesy if a guy doesn’t propose it doesn’t always mean he isn’t in love with the girl. I fit die untop my woman matter. It’s just may mean that he over analyses things. Perhaps your bro can explain these things to her parents. If he really is in loves with her. If not then he should let her go......fogg PhD

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    4. Thank you anon 18:21 you saved me a whole lot of things to type.

      Delete
  6. Most times all these so called SU can be something else especially when it comes to man matter. I hate it when a lady parents invite a guy to talk about marriage with their daughter. Please allow your brother rest. Marriage is not by force. He has done the best thing. If I were you. I will not even discuss it with him. I will relate with him as if nothing happened. Marriage is not beans. So nobody should force another into marrying a particular person.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your brother is not ready, pls you guys should let him be.

    U force him now n he takes out his frustration on her, na una go still complain...dey find slay queen, if he carries slay queen now, u guys will still complain.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Some people thinks all its takes to be married is love!!!love is not enough

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me perch here small..

      Uhmmmm. Marriage no be beans ooo, with the situation in naija now, u will marry without a concrete source of income..

      Is it grass that u will chop?

      Or its on d road you will sleep?

      Abeg let your brother be.. Take him out and have a nice drink abeg.. I can't blame d lady too, she's being pressured from both ends hence her outburst..!

      Delete
  9. lazy youths.96% chronicle about relationahip.boyfriend girlfriend matter or sex related issue.anyways..this type of topic they move market online wel wel.you guys should not force the guy.

    ReplyDelete
  10. everybody cannot be a slay queen na eh who slay queen help.ok if your brother is not ready to settle down and he has made it known all of you should leave him to sort himself out.i wonder how you remind a grown man to go and marry.he alone knows what he is talking about

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your brother is wicked. Why start a relationship with a 29 year old lady (when he knows the pressure society/family might put on the girl)?

    He wasted the girl's time. He should break up with her (not the nonsense talk about her finding another suitor while still in a relationship with him).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Must every relationship lead to the alter?
      What if you find out along the line that she's not the one you want, you continue????

      Delete
    2. Dem don breakup ooo.. Shey uno read am??
      I was in the same position before with my Ex, I know I shouldn't have gone for her when I knew about her stand on getting married and all that..

      But we DonT have to force ourselves when we are planing for the future..

      Delete
    3. What exactly do you mean by this? Uncle maintained his stand always why didn't madam SU leave him? I'm female, 34 and boyfriendless but no where close to this lady's desperate self. We should always learn to walk away VERY FAST when we encounter situations that don't favor us.

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    4. Exactly. Nonsense talk.

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    5. Didn’t you read where he started dating her 2 years ago? Also he broke up with her. It is simple she want to marry, he says his finances aren’t in order. If she can’t wait then he has told her she can go. At no point did he say he wouldn’t marry her. Who doesn’t know weddings cost money and so does marriage in this country. The expense is hardly ever 50-50 or even 80-20. What he has done shows someone who understands the financial responsibility that marriage places on a man in this country.

      Delete
  12. Please dear allow your brother decide what he wants, marriage is a whole lot together.From your narrative above your brother is not buoyant enough for marriage.The lady should look for someone else. Please no one should force him pls

    ReplyDelete
  13. But you already decided that your spirit doesn't like her cos she's not a slay queen but SU and uses tiny earrings. What exactly is your mother calling her for - to raise her hopes? So that you can continue calling her desperate? And why is your brother dating someone with no end goal in sight? Your family has issues; please, free the girl and let her go. And whenever your brother is man enough to marry, try and stay out of his affairs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U have spoken my mind. After putting words into your brother's head, you are here acting innocent.for your brother to bring the lady home shows he was ready to settle down. Manipulative family, please tell you mum to stop calling her, stop giving her false hope.

      Delete
    2. God bless you anon 15:27! Can you imagine a family looking for a slay queen as a wife??? The level of shallowness?! The SU girl deserves better than this superficial, time wasting family. I pray God sends a real man her way. Poor girl.

      Delete
    3. anon, God bless you. A very manipulative family. Why are you all so involved in this relationship? Smfh. Imagine telling your brother to talk to her, cos she doesn't know how to address you guys. Why won't you take how she addresses you like that? Where is the big deal. You know you want her to call you by titles..smfh Don't know why this aunty, and uncle thingy is so important to y'all backwards folks. This girl has dodged a real bullet. Gossip.

      Delete
  14. Relationships should be defined as soon as they are gotten into.
    Both parties should tell what they are looking for in the relationship, and specify if they are looking to get married, especially if one of them is "older",or if they just want to waste each other's time and Netflix and chill together.

    This will save a whole lot of stress and hurt feelings and enable the couple to adequately plan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Theres a difference between dating and courtship, which are you referring to?

      Delete
    2. In my opinion, there is no difference between the two.
      I do not date for dating sake. I date with the intention of marriage. Dating is courtship to me.

      How do you differentiate both?

      Delete
    3. I think there’s a difference, during courtship, you already know where the relationship is headed...alter(possibly). Dating is just getting to know each other, at that point you know there’s a connection. You can start dating without being in love, love grows. But you must have something in common, something that connects you. This can possibly lead to marriage.
      The major difference is the agreement, courtship, you already know, both parties have agreed. Dating, we just dey play and see where this leads
      When we enter a relationship with the mindset of "he must marry me" we tend to put pressure on the man, this can be an unconscious act. If you are dating with the intention of marriage, how then do you handle breakups?

      Delete
    4. Anon 16:25 let me guess in your first probably teenage relationship you were dating for the purpose of marriage? Cmon dating and courtship sorta differ. One is done to get to know the type of partner you are into and some people get it right and proceed to marry their first. Others date a bit and figure out who works best for them........fogg PhD

      Delete
    5. Hmmmm that's very insightful.
      Points noted.

      Delete
    6. Points taken, Angie.
      👍👏👏

      Delete
  15. She killed the love he had for her with her desperate attitude.
    Even if she is an Angel and you all love her, her man has lost interest and desire for her.
    He is suppose to have a propelling factor or force that would want him to settle down with her quickly to avoid someone else whisking her away. As long as this is not there anymore, don't bother the young man.

    And how are you sure she loves him or she desperately loves to be married? The latter seems so to me.
    Marriage needs all round readiness and your brother isn't. He will become a monster to her if forced to.
    You all should let him be.

    ReplyDelete
  16. This is what we call the ying and yang of relationships. He is not ready and he isn’t in love with her. He likes the idea of a relationship but not the girl. Tell him to walk and tell the girl to do the nine miles. Kapish!

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  17. Please don't force your brother into marrying that girl. Let him marry her from his heart before he starts maltreating her later in marriage.

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  18. 29 yrs is too young to settle down has she got money to sustain the marriage if not why pressure the poor man. Does Parents who force there children to get married against there will should be Ready to foot the Bills for them including Paying for the dowry be it man or woman. 😀😀

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  19. since your brother's relationship is a community affair..what can i say....

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  20. since you brother's relationship is a community affair, what can i say.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I personally don't blame the lady, she's almost 30, Yoruba & most likely lives with her parents.. oh Lord!!
    The barrage of questions she must've answered, the sidetalks, the insults..& You say her dad is a pastor?? Bad combo.

    If she's wise, she'll walk away from that situationship & embrace loving herself first..marriage or not.

    I tell you, being pressured to get married (as a lady) can mess with one's psyche.

    ReplyDelete
  22. when i was 29yrs, i never thot of marriage at all. na how to make money and earn well. all this desperate call for marriage is not necessary. it will come when it will.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly my point.
      I really don't get the desperation. My neighbor is not even close to 29 but she’s so desperate for marriage. She has 3 guys, they are all not the kind of man she wants but she’s just too desperate, she’s waiting for any of them to pop it. The part that intrigues me the most is, she’s the 1 chasing after them, she does all the calling, starts the chats, even ask them out for lunch, I have told her several times to stop the rubbish.
      The guys are using her, some part of her knows this but she keeps deceiving herself just because she wants to get married. One day I told her that with what shes doing, its either no one marries her or she ends on in a bad marriage.

      Delete
  23. My (beautiful) Naija girls go always want marriage
    The Naija guys go always want fork
    See how this marriage mata don turn SU to "cursing U"
    And the girl wey been dey write, every goat get im day;
    if she come escape Salah, Christmas dey come. If e come escape
    Christmas, na Easter fit block am turn am to suya.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Your brother is still a child. Not picking her calls is such a childish act. Haba! Aunty sef is tooo desperate. At 29, you define a relationship right from the start ! No time for let’s see how It goes.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sugar, are you saying this because of her age?
      If you are , then thats totally wrong. So my dear, enlighten me, do you ask the guy involved if the relationship is for the alter or just bed games?

      Delete
    2. Altar* not alter

      Delete
    3. My bad. Thanks

      Delete
  25. From the look of things, your brother is not into that girl. Let them go their separate way so as to avoid stories that touch the ass in future. My opinion though...

    ReplyDelete
  26. Allow your brother to take decision for himself with out interference from you. If he doesn't have a steady job then why the hurry? Getting married is a responsibility that requires money.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Very sadwhere is the girl's Faith,you don't need to be desperate if you know God.Let her trust god while your brother is still looking for work,she will soon get husband sooner than later

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  28. Money is required to make a marriage happy. Doesn't matter how many movies, songs or ppl saying otherwise, love alone does not make a marriage work. Without money even the best and strongest of marriages will crumble. If she needs to be married now then let her find a man who is looking to marry now too. This marriage business is too much o. Ppl out here losing their damn minds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster your brother dosent like the desperate girl and her desperate family. Please parents stop putting pressure on your kids to get married. Secondly, guys dont like desperate girls. Its a turn off. What will be will be so dont stress yourself

      Delete
  29. Hmmmm, Nawa oo, this one the girl and her family are pushing for marriage, I smell a rat. Please let your brother be. He never promised her marriage, The cards were laid On the table for her and she chose to stay. She's too desperate biko. You don't marry out of pity, that's the worst mistake anyone can make in marriage. If I were your brother, I will not marry her.

    ReplyDelete
  30. When a lady is too desperate ,it pushes the guy farther away

    Why are the parent calling the guy to talk about marriage,that is fundamentally wrong,seems something is not right.

    You cannot coerse any MSN unto marriage unless he wants to marry you.

    The lady should take a walk already

    The guy is reasonable enough by saying he is not ready ciz he has not gotten a good job,his will he feed his bride?

    ReplyDelete
  31. What does he mean by SU

    ReplyDelete
  32. I was i this type of scenario years back...there was pressure from family and friends to marry this babe cos she was extremely nice to them but i kept telling anyone that cared to listen that if i force myself to marry her she will bear the brunt and not those family and friends who are only talking cos of the favours they are getting from her...fast forward to some years later we are friends and she always thank me for not bowing to pressure and marrying her..of cos she is happily married now and i am as well

    ReplyDelete

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