During the last PTA meeting at my children's school, a woman complained bitterly severally that her child hadn't been given food at the children's party .
I understood this woman's plight perfectly.
When I attend parties with my office colleagues I'm always sure of eating because of a male colleague. This man knows how to get caterers to get food served on his table. But when I go to parties of family and friends it's always hard for me to get food.
For some reasons they always pass me. So I decided to use some strategies, I felt they always start serving from the front so I started seating in front at parties. Somehow they will serve my table and it will remain 2 people, me and someone else and when the next server comes he will assume everybody has been served on my table and starts serving another table. I used to be too embarrassed to call the attention of the servers, sometimes it's the strangers on my table that calls their attention and help me get food.
Then I decided to be seating at the back close to the caterers stand, at least if I'm close to the food i will surely be served but that's when the caterers will decide to start from the front. I tried the middle it was the same thing.
When I attend parties with my office colleagues I'm always sure of eating because of a male colleague. This man knows how to get caterers to get food served on his table. But when I go to parties of family and friends it's always hard for me to get food.
For some reasons they always pass me. So I decided to use some strategies, I felt they always start serving from the front so I started seating in front at parties. Somehow they will serve my table and it will remain 2 people, me and someone else and when the next server comes he will assume everybody has been served on my table and starts serving another table. I used to be too embarrassed to call the attention of the servers, sometimes it's the strangers on my table that calls their attention and help me get food.
Then I decided to be seating at the back close to the caterers stand, at least if I'm close to the food i will surely be served but that's when the caterers will decide to start from the front. I tried the middle it was the same thing.
This doesnt happen all the time though. It's usually when the relatives of the celebrants starts moving around to check for those that haven't eaten that I'm discovered. Then I'm served the bottom pot.
The bottom pot is the remnant, say for example the first set of people served got a plate of fried and jollof rice, with moi moi and salad, and 2 pieces of meat. Then bottom pot would be like just fried rice and a piece of meat.
I noticed that my mind had a lot to do with this, somehow I had programmed my mind that without that my colleague from the office I don't get food easily at parties. So I had to reprogramme my mind and gradually i started get bold.
Now if they don't serve me I call their attention and ask for food, no time to be forming shame. I'm even bold enough to go to the caterer's stand to demand for what's mine. The mind is very powerful so I tell it before leaving the house that today I go chop tire and it happens.
Dear BVs no be hunger dey do me o, I just like party food,you Understand?
The bottom pot is the remnant, say for example the first set of people served got a plate of fried and jollof rice, with moi moi and salad, and 2 pieces of meat. Then bottom pot would be like just fried rice and a piece of meat.
I noticed that my mind had a lot to do with this, somehow I had programmed my mind that without that my colleague from the office I don't get food easily at parties. So I had to reprogramme my mind and gradually i started get bold.
Now if they don't serve me I call their attention and ask for food, no time to be forming shame. I'm even bold enough to go to the caterer's stand to demand for what's mine. The mind is very powerful so I tell it before leaving the house that today I go chop tire and it happens.
Dear BVs no be hunger dey do me o, I just like party food,you Understand?
Shame for what? They can't skip me na and jump to the other table...I'll call them back abeg.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, party food can sweet. Not that one is hungry or doesn't eat at home but the party food is always different and if you aren't served , it can be so painful esp. the jollof rice.
DeleteI think I have to start calling out for food too cos dem dey pass me too.
ReplyDeleteMy heart will now be doing gbim gbim. Its usually people that help me get when it happens
But now, no more, if u pass me, I call u back, if u wan call me abolonjeku, be my guest!
I can totally relate. Any table I sit on, una sorry oo, na me be the problem, them don swear for me
ReplyDeleteAs the Jonah that you are
DeleteI don't like rice. So party jollof rice or whatever don't freak me. Except if the party have correct bitterleaf soup and fufu
ReplyDeleteOr correct Amala with ewedu and better assorted..
DeleteI can’t eat swallow outside my home and I have noticed there’s always plenty meat in the soup compared to the rice especially at Yoruba parties. 😢 I also get passed a lot and I don’t call them for food. Imagine flying from Abuja to Asaba for a wedding and not getting served food. I couldn’t even tell my friend I just took the next available taxi to my hometown to go eat. Another thing that happens to me is if the food is nice and it gets to me, it will be the size of a baby’s food. 😤 When the food is not nice they heap a mountain on the plate. Chai!
Deleteyes I do. enjoy yourself.
ReplyDeleteFirstly this "forming" (PRETENDING TO BE) is gradually eating into the Nigerian lexicon.
ReplyDeleteAha we don finish grammar, back to all man free style
Iya Ibeji come forget one thing . . .
Most of these una parties na initiation ceremony into winchcraft
Na the kin winchcraft wey the eater go be subject/slave to the real winches.
One sisi wey I sabi been get 5 consecutive miscarriages after one party wey them
dey allow people serve themselves (buffet, ehe, na so oyinbo people dey yarn am)
She come chop soteee, she full handbag and plastic bags return for her two pikins and
maid join. Na only hubby escape the cos im been travel. The two pikins and maid been dey
sick like say them curse them. She, her own sickness na miscarriages.
Only the hubby come dey free o. And for her dream, she go see that same party where she dey
serve herself or one ol lady dey serve am, same plate and cup and as she dey wake up, bed sheet
don read o.
And the party still dey go on for that same compound every six months. Wetin them dey celebrate,
no one sabi till date.
E even say most. Smh! So people getting married and serving food are trying to initiate u ba??? Abegi, na una type juju dey fes catch
Delete@Eka
DeleteYou see as you come yarn yeast under my comment?
You no even read where I talk say "wetin them dey celebrate twice a year persin no sabi?"
You are truly pathetic. Are you even normal? Always yarning dust. How did you pass your exams in school? Define photosynthesis and you will start talking about Shakespeare. The Lord stabilise you.
Delete@15:43 (Nee Photosynthesis)
DeleteI know say na ghost mode you go hide yarn that ya photosynthesis.
You wey pass school, why you dey read "abnormal" people dem yarns eh?
Everyday "abnormal" persin yarn, you go come read am; inukwa?
The "Lord" go first stabilize all the people wey dey shoot off and strangulate babies (from them wombs);
you no see them transfer that ya prayers; those ones normal for ya eyes?
Thank you very much. 😊😊😊
Taa shut up, no be only shoot off,na gun off. You think every1 is a psycho like you.Na people like you sin pass. Some of us are married and done with child bearing, asinwin.
DeleteJust pray to be rich and comfortable you willl be among the first to be served.I hardly eat at parties but my table is always filled and even my gifts pacakaged and taken to the car.I hardly eat at parties,I don't buy aso ebi and I don't spent more than 1hour either but I make sure I give a bulky envelope and spray money.
ReplyDeleteLol. You are officially invited to my wedding.
DeleteLol, MA or sir, I humbly invite you to my wedding taking place soonest 😂 😁😁
DeleteI love party rice,unfortunately since i relocated to Ado Ekiti,i have never eaten a wow rice.it is either too dry or watery,the protein is usually something else.it is either a big head of fish,big bone called meat.
ReplyDeleteIt's really painful and embarrassing not to be served anyone's table. Surely party food is always attractive because it ensures some extra thrill for eating with others. Again, the women's complained is also very sorrowful. It really should not be. Anyway, this was a new experience to me that made my knowledge enrich though it's surely a negative experience.
ReplyDelete