Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Iya Ibeji Series -Returning To Papa's House.

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Saturday, February 09, 2019

Iya Ibeji Series -Returning To Papa's House.

The part I hate most about traditional weddings is when the bride's family says their daughter no longer has a room in her father's house.






I overheard a man talking about the issues he had with his mother inlaw, he said he had a misunderstanding with his wife and she ran to her mother's house and the mum didn't send her back.

Even when the mother inlaw explained to him that it was too late in the night to send her away. He insisted that the mother was encouraging her daughter and she was part of the problem they were experiencing.

So this husband means that the daughter that this woman laboured for after nine months would come to her parents house and be turned away? If she was comfortable in your house why did she leave?


Anyway last year a friend of mine was having issues with his very pregnant wife, so I went to talk to them and the wife begged to follow me. According to her she needed space for a while. Without thinking twice I told her I wouldn't mind but let me tell her husband, I was thinking he would object but surprisingly he said"mama would you do that for me? I will be most grateful"


The truth is they both needed the space, their house was small and the pregnancy hot body was making the woman aggressive. She came to my house and I pampered her, she was so happy and relaxed. One day with tears in her eyes she told me thank you. She said everyone she asked, from friends to relatives refused to accommodate her and told her to stay in her husband's house. 

She said she pleaded that she wasn't divorcing him o but she just needed to get out of the house as the tension between them was too much and it seemed like the house was caving in on her.

Few days after she came to my house bad thoughts started running through my mind. What if she collapsed and die? This her husband that has been thanking me everyday on the phone might change the Narrative? So many evil thoughts thanks to Nollywood yoruba movies. I had to pray seriously.


To God be the glory her stay in my house was peaceful, she settled with her husband and the day she was to leave she bought so many things for my children I was amazed.


Sometimes when we hear stories of women that are abused and they don't have where to go, it's usually true because of the mentality some people carry around that the woman no longer has a place in her father's house once she is married....


My daughter's room will always be open to her and if for any reason she decides to come back I will never send her away. I might advise her to go back but I will not force her.I dont know about you......

35 comments:

  1. I sometimes wonder how life was for women in the eighties. it was really really tough if at this 21st century things are still like this. I weep for women of yesteryears. so because one has gone to live with one sperm donor in the name of marriage, she can't have space again in her own father's house. tueh.

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    1. It is well. So the husband expected his wife's mother to allow her daughter go back home in the midnight. Thank God for mothers. I can't trade mine for anything in the world.

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    2. I wonder so my child I carried for nine months and maybe laboured to birth will run to me at night I will send her away back to the lion's den. God punish Satan. such a person shouldn't be called a mum.

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  2. The fact still remains that what men dish out to women, they can't take it even for a day. marriage is becoming annoying to me daily. I mean with all the gadgets in the house a woman called mother inlaw feels one is too lazy by using the devices. One should cook with fire wood to prove one is a very hard working wife. I dread marriage because of alot of things.

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    Replies
    1. That's why before marry, u look well, if u were using firewood in your father's house, plan not to continue in husband house, if U were eating crayfish, plan to eat fish, don't continue d circle of suffer head, ko Jo o.

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    2. Women don't ourselves because of marriage. when you later find yourself in a loveless marriage better leave than stay and get killed by a frustrated man. No special place in heaven for married women.

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    3. Lol @ no special place for women in heaven. Una no go kee person πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  3. My family house is always open to me. Infact I still have my own copy of the key (lol). Anytime the locks are changed, an updated version is usually sent to me and this makes me feel loved. Well hubby initially expressed concerns. The fear that I can leave anytime I want and all. But I think we are good now especially now that we are both pulling resources to build ours. And yes our home will always be open to our kids because homes are places of refuge so I don't support telling a child (because the child is a girl) that she is no longer welcome.

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  4. If I hear!
    My dad already gave all of us one room each, the only thing there is for us to furnish it to our taste.

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  5. God forbid I send my daughter away anytime she needed her momma shoulder to cry on. Aru..my own baibay. Mbanu kolwerk. I will always stand up for my children and I will also teach them how to stand up for themselves.
    Who and dyee put marriage EPP? If it ain't working, it is better you both separate peacefully than stabbing each other to death. God hate divorce not divorcΓ©es.

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    Replies
    1. LoL God hate divorce not divorcees.Abey tell them.

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    2. U peepu will not kee someone with lafta on this blog, which one be God hate divorce and not divorcee. Stella, come and see your bv's ooooo πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£

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  6. My sis room is still intact, its been 7 going to 8 n d room is there with her stuff,I enter to clean it n that's where her kids crash anytime I do school run for her.

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  7. Thank God for the kind of family my mother and father has, they don't take domestic violence issue as joke oo,after warning you and you keep on beating their daughter, they will storm your house and carry their daughter back, some of my aunt left their husbands and they are all alive with their children and grandchildren now in her own house built with her Money, my grandma said she no go let marriage kill pikin wey she and her husband suffer train and take care of because of husband house,

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  8. So you wan get room for papa house, get for husband house eh?
    Even the one some of them dey press for phone, them want get rooms there.
    Wetin Baba God mean by "a man should leave im papa house and cleave to the wife
    and the two shall become one flesh ...?
    Your own wahala as MIL no go get oyiri. Keep training ya daughters to dey husband
    house dey look for husband inugo?

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    Replies
    1. I hope you're a woman I pray God gives a beautiful girl make person come marry am turn am to hand ball and please never you intervene inugo

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  9. May some of una wiseness not destroy you people,marriage aint for everybody,marriage is certainly not for growm ass women who still want a tiny room in their parents house,i say it all the time,thank GOD i came as a man to earth,no time for shitty baby thinking amd selfish inclined thoughts.

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    Replies
    1. Shut up jare. We know your type.

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    2. Abey shift with your native thinking. so because person marry she no suppose get tiny room again for her papa house. it people like you that talk the loudest when a story of a woman that has been killed by her husband surfaced online. hypocrite.

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    3. Owen shut your trap. You are the type of man that can kick his wife out in the cold. You are the type of man that will say your wife should stop communication with her people. E dey show for your aboki face.

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    4. What is this one saying? Go and sleep joo!!

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    5. .. You came to the world as a man, and so What? Should we fry beans? When you train your own daughter and send to an abusive man, you can choose to disown your daughter in the name of marriage.

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  10. I still have my room intact . In fact clothes are still there. Even my toothbrush is still on the toothbrush stand I just change it every 2 months. so anytime I visit I don't pack baggage I just carry my two left legs dey go house.

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  11. My Children will always have a place in my home, married or not, scratch that, my Children are mine forever , so they can always come home, what am I writing sef ? My Children and I are intertwined forever. No story.

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  12. Truth hurts little kids,marriage aint for kids,i and my younger one's know the seriousness of marriage so we didnt jump into it like kids, i dont need a room in my parents house, i need to build another house for them,failures aint our mindets so unlike most of you so called big babies in nowadays marriage's, we set out with intent to make it work and not to have a key for our past little room's, no time to run to mama and papa every little time,even if you have to run out, run to a good hotel and spend some cool cash of your own,after spending such sum to stay at oriental for two week's, you will think twice before jumping into another disaster marriage,as a father,my kids aint gonna have any key to my house, if you run back after marriage,i will tell you to go rent a house outside and start a new life, life na per head,you made a decision to get married to an idiot so deal with it yourself,i dont want any grown up "i too know" daughter to come and start messing with my peace of mind. Oya all d yimus dem,begin to reply.

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    1. Seconded!
      I'm an Igbo woman who has been married for years..and I don't even wish to have a room in papa's house.My home lies in my husband's house..

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    2. Your daughter is human and can make mistakes like any human being except you of course who is 'perfect'.

      I really hate divorce/separation and I believe marriage is a work in progress but I am wise enough to know that people get it wrong in life because they are humans and human beings make mistake. So should they lose their lives or remain miserable for the rest of their lives? Can they not retrace their steps? A woman who married a paedophile, what is there to work out? A man who discovers all his children are not his , what should he do? I can go on and on.

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    3. @ anonymous 'my home lies in my husband house': If you have truly been married for many years like you claim and you still refer to your home as 'husband's house' then maybe you need to work hard to get something that is truly yours. L

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    4. @ Owen: Well I understand where you are coming from since according to you, you need to build a new house for your parents. I wouldn't want the key to a mud house too.

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    5. @ Anonymous 0:26 I read somewhere on this blog about a woman whose husband makes their two-weeks old baby give him a blow job but she is still in the marriage contemplating to leave. It must be because she has the likes of Owen and the anonymous 'married for donkey years' woman as parents. Parents with warped mentality about life. Mtshew.

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  13. I no get room for my papa house again, my room is in my matrimonial house. Our house

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