I am sure you Understand what your fellow Brother meant up there?Don't Kill her dreams if she is not allowed to kill yours.....I know some Lady who is currently depressed because her hubby forced her to resign from her Banking Job after they married...Please note that he gave no indication he would do this when they were courting......
Hmmmmmm so true
ReplyDeleteLoud it brother
ReplyDeleteHere to read comments
ReplyDeleteHere to read comments
ReplyDeleteDuring courtship period these are the things that should be discussed. You can't marry a career woman and expect her to come sit at home when you eventually wife her.
ReplyDelete“These are the things that should be discussed” but the problem is that Nigerian men are known to be liars and abusers in marriage. Once they see you flourishing they think of how to control you, yet there are millions of women out there looking for men to worship and call “my lord” they will jump and pass. When we generalise we sound wicked but stats don’t lie. Nigeria also has the highest rate of out of school girls in the world- if these men jeopardise the future of their daughters, is it their wives they care about
DeleteAnon 13:23 it's not a "Nigerian men" thing. It's a "son of the devil" thing. There are some men specifically dispatched by Satan to destroy God's plans for a woman's life under the guise of marriage. Do you think it's by chance a man sees an aspirational student or a woman already going places in her career, then marries her just to ground her dreams? You think he didn't see other women who already fit into the mould he wants? But he leaves them and goes for the opposite. It's not ordinary. And they are everywhere, even in church.
DeleteKristy - have discussions, but pray. Cos people can lie in their discussions with you. They already have what is in their mind to do, but they can tell you what they know you want to hear. Tomorrow they'll deny what they said in a way that will make you doubt your own sanity. I remember when there were a number of men around me, including my husband. No, I wasn't dating any of them. But they were all proposing. No, I wasn't flattered cos I knew something was very wrong - marriage decision is one thing you can't afford to be confused about. And when there are too many options, it breeds confusion. So, I told God, "I can only see the picture that each of these men has chosen to show me. But You see and know the hearts of each of them. Show me their hearts towards me." Long story short, one called me to confess he had taken my name and picture to his pastor to tell him to pray "to twist my will and turn my heart towards him". When his pastor told him that is witchcraft and refused, he went to his village to do the real witchcraft with his mother. Weirdly enough, I had been having bad dreams about him and had developed an unnatural hatred for him before the confession. So, obviously the juju he was doing, was backfiring while he was doing it. He also confessed that he wanted to marry me "so that he could mould me to his taste". I was already a university graduate, jejely working on my own path in life that didn't align with his own, oh. Yet, he decided to bring himself to re-mould me. He married one unfortunate girl instead. Till today, I don't think he realises what he confessed the real intention of his heart towards me. Imagine if I allowed myself just discuss with him? Which man will by himself confess that he took your name and picture to juju? Or that he just wants to sleep with you - as another one did?
Nigerian men are liars for real. I met this young man who told me that,while he was courting with the wife he told her they would attend a different church, different from the one they both attend.Dude actually knew he wasn't ready to let go, he secretly wanted them to attend Catholic.And this issue of church is tearing there family apart,infact they don't attend church on sunday because the wife held into the promise.*sorry about the typo*
DeleteNigerian men are liars for real. I met this young man who told me that,while he was courting with the wife he told her they would attend a different church, different from the one they both attend.Dude actually knew he wasn't ready to let go, he secretly wanted them to attend Catholic.And this issue of church is tearing there family apart,infact they don't attend church on sunday because the wife held into the promise.*sorry about the typo*
Deleteany man who lies to me that i will work while being married to him but decides to make a full time house if, will set up a business for me, or i walk away from that marriage.
DeleteAnonymous 14:05 I understand your point though and sure prayer is also a first key factor.
DeleteThe problem is that Men generally don't know what they want.
ReplyDeleteThey want a Woman who can cook, clean, be there to welcome him back from work, be home before him, be a Full time Mum to his kids, a house wife and have her own money too. She must be there whenever he wants her, and she must be rich too . She mustn't work, and mustn't ask for money too.MEN! Very confused specie. Just they same way they want a Woman who will birth 10kids for them and still remain the same(no stretch marks, libido 1000000 percent, virgin p**sy🙄).
African men have been trained to see women as gods or super natural beings, not mortals..... so much have been put on our shoulders, and no one is talking about what the man should be doing .
A man marries a good looking woman, and tells her to quit her job because her boss is hitting on her.... as if they quit thier own jobs when the ladies flirt with them in their various offices and places of employment .
Abeg I no wan vex this afternoon 🤦🚶
How can I like this comment✊👍
Delete100 likes for this comments.
DeleteWawu!! 💯 likes won't be enough for this comment...🙏👌👏🙌👍
DeleteAbeg no vex but you nailed it
DeleteWow! Your head is there.
DeleteInfact, you couldn't have said it any better. I love you for this. A million likes
DeleteConfused men. They will still disrespect women on top of it all. The burden is too much on women to be super women.
Delete😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘
DeleteTell that to anambra men ooo. That is their stock in trade.
ReplyDeleteGbam! True talk! If u seek a full housewife, then go to your village and marry one of those girls with no formal education.
ReplyDeleteBut why will I even want my woman to be a sit at home woman??? Some men tho' an idle mind is the Devil's workchop!
ReplyDeleteKevin Dat Edo Boi(Stellz Cousin)
But why will I even want my woman to be a sit at home woman??? Some men tho' an idle mind is the Devil's workchop!
ReplyDeleteKevin Dat Edo Boi(Stellz Cousin)
My neighbours husband is on this table, very wicked human.
ReplyDeleteNothing but the truth. Absolutely true. I so much love career ladies. Everyone should be allowed to explore their potentials.
ReplyDeletePreach!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a lady whose husband told her to leave her job at Nigerian breweries after marriage.
ReplyDeleteHe promised to open a supermarket near the house for her. 7yrs and two kids after he is yet to fulfill that promise.
The worst is the rate at which she can wake up one morning and find out her husband has sold the car he bought her. Her last car which he bought brand new, he sold it without her knowledge to execute a contract.
He bought her another car later quite alright but he's done it twice now.
For most of these men,its is mainly about control. They relish the thought of being the one to "break" a woman into what they want, its no fun if you are already subservient. More often than not, it is how these guys were raised, they grew up seeing their mothers slave away like a donkey and surrendering her whole life to their husbands,so to them,thats how its supposed to be. There is one goat of a man in my estate that made his wife resign from where she was working and he opened a supermarket for her. Anyday they quarrel,he locks up the supermarket. She has to beg,kneel down,crawl, before he would give her the keys and this might even take weeks. My mother told me something when I was growing up and I never forgot it. She said 'life is too uncertain and the human nature too fickle, to base your whole livelihood on another person.
ReplyDelete-FIRE AND ICE!
Waooooooooooooo
Delete@Fire and Ice
Great point
Loud it!
ReplyDeleteMy sister was a high flying,brilliant lawyer in abuja,with her own car and well furnished apartment in a highbrow part of town,dealing with perm secs and ministers,etc.Her husband promised he would open a chambers for both of them to partner and they would focus on international clents. He persuaded her to quit her job at a good law firm with fantastic,global, prospects. Now she's a full time housewife in a small town in an entirely different part of Nigeria, crying everyday. Some men are great decievers.
ReplyDeleteYour brother-in-law is a destiny destroyer.
DeleteTo heaven i will divorce that man
DeleteShmmmmmmm
Hmmmm, I cannot be a housewife o. Some guy proposed marriage to me sometime ago and he told me point blank that once we get married that I will have to resign from my job because he doesn't want his wife to be answering another man "sir". He continued by saying that I won't lack anything because he would provide all that I need. That I should just take care of the kids and home in general. I jejelly walked out of his life because I cannot deal with the thought of being a housewife. I love to work can't trade that for any man.
ReplyDeleteI believe the choice of leaving a job in the career a woman has slaved for is ultimately in the hands of that woman, if you make it clear before marriage that you would follow a career driven life, tell him to divorce you if in marriage he suddenly feels the need to assume the role of God over your life.
ReplyDeleteAt the end of the day the choice he would give is your marriage or your job, trust me if you choose your job and stand steadfast in your choice he will be the one to come begging because in all honesty he is the insecure one and not you.
Oh, and I am not just talking, I have done same won and I am in complete control of my career under the guidance of the Holy Spirit of course.
Women need to take control of their lives rather than leaving it in the hands insecure men.
If he doesn't like it, tell him you like it and that's all that matters, let him take a walk if he can't bear the thought of you living your best life.
I am peeved. Women you're so powerful, take back your power and see men scruffle for your attention.
End of rant...