Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Sunday, March 10, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm......





STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

UNDER PRESSURE TO GIVE IN TO GBENSHING


Hello Stella, trust U re good.... please keep me anonymous


I started dating my boyfriend since 2012, fresh outta secondary sch and he, a Jambite.


He is an extremely good guy, d best i have ever met, gentleman to the core, cares a lot about me. You know when you are dating someone and it feels like u were doubled, i mean u guys are so close and compatible that u feel u were just cloned from him. Yea, thatz us


But.......................


D only thing that causes major quarrel is  s#x, trust me those three letter words can cause a lot of harm. He is s#xually active but i am not. Initially i wanted to wait till when i am ready *probably after my wedding. Seeing the kind of person i was in a relationship with, being patient through the excuses over d years i decided it was no harm giving in.


Each time we try and he is  about to penetrate, i just scream for him to stop. Clearly i haven't healed from the molestation i suffered as a child. He understood when i told him then but i didn't want to keep making that an excuse.


Recently, he has been threatening to go get it outside since i haven't been complying. I know he is only doing so for me to loosen up. We had the talk extensively, felt so guilty for not being able to give him the only thing he asked of me despite all he has done to make me happy. Sincerely i dont blame him because he has tried. I once suggested that he goes out there to have it with anyone but he says it is me he wants.


I wish to compel him to actually go, don't want to deprive him of his desire and at d same time be selfish. Oh did i tell u of d blue balls he suffers each time we are both horny And stomach pains too. He recently said we shouldn't bother seeing if s#x is not going to happen.

What if he gets stuck out there? what if i can't get him back? I can't lose a good guy like that, i won't be able to cope.
Help!!!!!!!!



*You are messed up OMG!!!....Why are you in a relationship with someone who is putting you under this kind of pressure?This is not love......NO IT IS NOT!!!
Leave him to go,if you give in,it wont get any better and you will end up with regrets!!

102 comments:

  1. Chai, Abortion minister over to you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If u love someone let him go, if he comes back, he is yours but he doesn’t , he was never yours. Let him go, what will be will BE

      Delete
    2. Pls also advise him to ‘ Gbaa Ncha’ yes , it is a necessary evil to reduce blue balls, rape and other temptations associated to sex

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    3. Please, please and please do not give in. It will worsen issues for you.
      You don't know the privilege you enjoy form abstinence. No worries for stds, pregnancies, and not to even say that the Bible sternly warns about premarital sex.
      Don't worry about what is now OK for the world but there are just a couple of people like you left. If he is not for you, SEX WILL NOT KEEP HIM. don't give in to the pressure please.
      This will still mess up your head if leaves eventually if both of you are not meant to be. Once you give in to the sex, the game changes, you will be the one running after him and will most likely tolerate anything he dishes because leaving him will make you feel you have lost. Please, let him put that kind of pressure in getting married to you. This is just a target for him and once he can't meet it, he feels like he's not really a very strong man, once most guys suffer before having sex with a girl, the day they finally gets it, they won't really be that excited anymore. Please he's just testing his ego on your sanity. You have much to lose at the end of the day. Mtchewwwwwe

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    4. Poster if u think dat guy hasn't been having sex outside for the 8 yrs you've been with him, then you're kidding yourself.

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    5. FAN no dey preach again?

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    6. Sex is overrated. Why not give it to him in full? What happened to you is in the past now, try and focus in the present and your future. The guy has try Sha if you ask me. What make you think that if you allow this one go, the other guy you will meet will not ask you for sex before marriage? Wisdom they say is profitable to direct. Please be good. Cheers. @Blessed Princess

      Delete
    7. My dear dnt try it... my bf did same to me. After sleeping with him he hated me and up till now we hardly talk

      Stick to your believe and dnt allow anyone pressure you.

      Delete
    8. Poster, please take anon 15:27 advise. That's just the truth. You'd save yourself a lot of heart aches and regrets at the end. I repeat, don't give in.

      Delete
    9. Poster I really don't understand your basis for judgement here. You're fresh out of secondary School, yet he's the best guy you've ever met? How many guys do you know? How many have you been with?
      Ps. If you believe that a sexually active guy whose been with you since 2012 has not been getting any, you'd believe anything darling...

      Delete
    10. It's 7 years now.
      Hasn't he graduated ?
      Isn't he working? Are you not planning on getting married?
      Or is this relationship indefinite. Why is he so interested in sex? Seems that's all he wants.
      If he is interested in marrying you, you shouldn't be talking about having him go outside.

      Delete
    11. Stella has said it all. Poster, any guy pressuring you to do what you don't want to do is NOT a good guy and not likely meant for you. Take that to the bank. Give in and regret. I think you are too young for sexual activities now. Your focus should be your future. Na love dey shack you, but if you are wise you will use your head.

      They will tell you you are selfish. They will tell you you are not mature. They will threaten to go out there or leave you. Forget this types jare! Your self worth is precious, but only if you treat it so.

      Delete
    12. You must be so naive for you bf to be using this ancient lie guys tell of Blue balls and stomach ache to get pity sex...that alone proves he's a deceiver and has been getting it outside; he simply wants you to pay in kind for his "investments".

      Delete
  2. Ha! Which kain chronicle be this on a Sunday afternoon, since you don't wanna take in what your pastor has been teaching about sexual purity and since you don't wanna lose this "good" guy, why are you writing actually? He is not even married to you and he is acting this way. Abeg use your tongue count your teeth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. She wants BVs to give her permission to gbensh as the permission givers that we is. Dude does not want to lose his pension and gratuity since 2012 and wants to manipulate her to give in so that he can move on.

      What happened to marrying her first if he knows he will practically die if he doesn't get in her pants? Since it's only your own special p*ssy that can cure his "blue balls and stomach ache", Story for the gods!

      Poster, let him marry you fast so that you can be his permanent cure na. Go and read Olori's copied post on SP this morning. Sleeping with him should be your sole decision to make. It does not guarantee that he will marry or dump you after he "tastes" you. Follow your heart but use a condom if you decide to give in. Back to back chronicles di kwa risky if you no get correct raba o. May ogbonge sense fall on you as you use your Solomon capsules.

      Delete
    2. If you want abstinence, please stay away from relationships until at most a year before you are ready for marriage. Since 2012, haba the guy don try...

      Delete
  3. Blue balls, stomach ache cos of being horny? Hahahahahhaha, maybe he's suffering from excess sperm production?

    This one he's hammering on sex and you are hoarding it, trust me, d moment you give in n he breaks your waist, he will either go or stay coz u have used ya kundus to make him suffer stomach ache, he will drill d nonsense out of u n u better be sweet as honey else he will break d bed, ur waist, scatter d sheets n run.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Una see as Blackey dey laugh; no be ya disciple be this one?
      Okwa mgbe when I begin yarn truth give my Naija girls, una go
      send thunder, come talk say I dey mad.
      Ngwanu see una sane Naija girls o.

      Delete
    2. Poster Se you sabi Titus fish, the part wet dey next to the head, by the time him drill you finish you no go make sense to your future husband again, and assuming he will be your future husband, na to dey find potash be that ooo

      Delete
    3. Lolzzz.....
      Dear Poster, pls what do u want, sex or no sex? At the end of the day, if you don't want sex and u give him sex, trust me, u 're enslaving yourself for his pleasure and don't bother to expect love in return, that is totally dependent on if he want to for you love.
      You do not owe him ur body, you own your body, the blue balls and stomach pain are lines his friends have schooled him to use on you. Better for you not to be silly and use them as excuse to give your body to him against your wish.
      P.S: he does not owe you love after sex, that is totally at his discretion,while giving him your body is at your own discretion as well. Choose wisely!!!

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    4. Ancient LIES young guys tell just to enter their PANTS... yimu

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  4. Hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!
    Na who inject me with laughing gas this early Sunday afternoon bikonu eh?
    Them don vacuum Naija girls them brain o.
    Una see how a grown nyansh girl go believe say if guyman no chop fork, im belle go dey pain, im balls go blue? This sisi been do biology for school o (wey she probably carry tohtoh pass?).
    And she go dey arrange atus for im stupid toyboy to browse?
    Chai, my Sunday don spoil finish.
    Stella wetin be this?

    Okwa ara bu ihe a o.
    Okwanu ara o.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please google Epididymal Hypertension.

      Thank me later, dearie.

      Delete
    2. Blue balls or black balls, your boyfriend's konji is not your business if you are not ready to have sex. If you are married it is a different matter entirely. When you are ready for marriage to a reasonable and supportive man, go to a therapist to see about your ish, so it won't affect your marriage relations.

      Delete
  5. Leave him that's not love...As soon as he has his way all the loving dovey will stop...I had a similar experience after playing hard to get for a very long time I gave in...While doing it he said so this is what I'm doing sakara with...I couldn't say anything because I was already naked

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, come and learn at the feet of this BV biko. Sleep with a man on your own terms and when you are emotionally ready to handle its consequences. Otherwise, you will feel like drinking sniper if dude bails after the do. I am really concerned because I can sense how young, innocent and naive you are from your "tone".

      Delete
  6. Poster, see a therapist if you are afraid to have sex due to the molestation you must have suffered.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I doubt it's because of that. She wants to but experiences pain. Dude needs to exercise care with her and stop all the pressure.shes a virgin

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    2. Good advice.

      Delete
    3. She never said she is a virgin at least not from her post, so we can't categorically say. Maybe that's why the guy is asking for sex since she might not be one and her main reason for holding back is that she's not ready yet

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    4. Whether she is a virgin or not, if she is not ready to have sex with him, she is not ready to have sex with him. Period.

      Delete
  7. So ur definition of to pay him for all he has done for u is ur toto.
    Later with all these u get married and the next is Chronicles
    How old are u sef???
    Do u even know what u want???
    I got married 2012..
    U met a guy then and still dating FOR SEVEN WHOLE YEARS.
    NA WA OOO
    Are u not bored?
    Pls let him go.
    Time waster.
    Gbenshing indeed...
    When u don't know ur worth
    When you don't know what u want
    When u feel a man is the answer to all u need in life..
    That's how my cousin dated one guy for 8years and kept saying he has done so much for her.
    Until she opened up that it is only quality leather of #10 he has bought for her for those years...
    Go and discover yourself...

    ReplyDelete
  8. See let me tell you the truth, smaller, SEX does not keep a man! Se you hear? You are just mumu. It is still sharking you abi? Good man ko bad man ni, see the way she spread the narrating as if na better Tory she won yan? She no talk about spiritual goals business growth, exploring the world, na f**king be ya main concern. OMG let me be going.. Poster you will be alright las las... Jesus!!!

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  9. Na wa o! Please let him go if he wants to go. This is not love

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  10. Replies
    1. Meaning Chelsea balls.

      Delete
    2. Old school scam for naive and mumu gehs. Poster is still a learner. Choi!

      Delete
    3. Chop your explanation! Google is my friend. oshi!

      Delete
  11. you have been together for so long reason he feels you owe him that one thing. but I believe you got into this relationship as a teen of which you're no where ready for marriage. as long as you're always together such feelings is inevitable. I won't tell you to talk to him because you have been talking to him. maybe you shouldn't have been here in the first place.dont start what you can't finish

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  12. madam, who told you sex must be involved in a good relationship , what of if all those goodness was because he has not tasted your honey pot. I have seen relationships as sweet as honey before the "do" and as sour as anything after the "do". this song readily comes to my mind, if you love me, you go wait for me!
    BTW. love waits ,it does not threaten! ( he has been threatening to go get it outside ) . secondly you may need counselling before the right time comes.

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  13. Much ado about sex. Don't force it or be forced into doing it, it doesn't end well.

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  14. Don't give in!!!

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  15. Even if you're as sweet as honey, take it from someone who's had enough experience with men. Most men leave after sex. That tender love and respect they always feel for a woman before sex disappears immediately they sleep with her. I can assure you that He will leave the moment you give in. So don't ever give in! I've realised that men will always stick around women they never slept with for years but once they sleep with a woman, they feel they've conquered her and they easily move on. My university boyfriend is still angry with me till date because he never tasted the cookie. And I always feel like a winner when I think of how he would have been bragging to all and sundry by now. In my own opinion, it'd have been better if women kept their virginity till marriage. It gives us more respect. All these sex before marriage does women and marriages no good. So poster, firmly close your legs or you'll regret it. Forget whatever he's done for you. You owe him nothing!

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    Replies
    1. True yarns.
      But why be say, when I been dey yarn this matter since, na only thunder una dey send to my smooth nyansh?

      Delete
    2. Thank you so much anon 15:23... this exact tin u said happened to me last week. After I finally gave in. He hated me just like that David son that raped Tarma hated her after sex... he left after sex.. I felt bad and wish I never gave in... pls dnt do it poster.

      Delete
    3. Anon 15:23 you sound like Toto is the only thing you ever have to offer. I have ditched so many pussies in the past for my peace of mind and I still feel proud over my decision. My prick, my choice. Life is what you make of it.

      Delete
    4. Anon 15.23 that's a BIG lie..maybe men always leave "You" after having sex with you...check yourself...

      Delete
    5. What???????!!!!10 March 2019 at 18:38

      What type of men are you dating??? What do you mean by most men leave after sex? This is so inaccurate, it is ridiculous. I had sex with my partner 6 weeks after we met, Its been 9 years and he has not even changed one bit. I had boyfriends before him that I left and I had sex with them early on in those relationships. What the hell is all this fear mongering? Nigerian women don't actually value themselves, so you all are so shallow that the only thing a man wants from you is your body? Like really?? What about your mind, your brain, your humour, your wisdom etc. Do you people not think men love or want women too.

      Somebody up there says if he wants to have sex with you let him marry you. You people are so insecure that you want marriage so the men would not leave you when they see how empty you lot present after sex in marriage. The funny thing is that the married men still leave and shackle with other women. This is so primitive. With the advise you guys give on this blog, I seriously worry about the children you people are raising. Marriage and sex are not trade by barter products. I honestly wonder why Nigeria women crave for marriage. The men treat their girlfriends way better than their wives so I am yet to really get the rationale for craving marriage. Anyway I have nothing to say about this chronicle. It is so juvenile and grotesque. My 15 year old niece has passed this stage. Good Luck to you

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    6. So why do women always complain about heartbreak? All these chronicles about use and dump na who dey write them? The truth is that men EASILY move on after having sex with a woman compared to when they've not had sex. At best, they'll be juggling you with other women because there's nothing special about you again.

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    7. No man has ever left me after having sex, they always become too clingy and possessive. I end up leaving sha cus I like my freedom. Now I'm stuck with 2 men, the very rich and generous one with a below average dick and the not OK guy with a honey dick. Both wants to marry me in October and August respectively of this year. My mum is seriously beefing me that I'm wicked keeping both of them knowing I will have to hurt one. Truth is she doesn't know my BP is high because I don't know who to choose and how to break up with the rejected one.
      Anyway back to advice, Poster please keep your vaginity, I wished I kept mine. I gave mine out to my then boyfriend while in year 2 to prove I was still a virgin(kept accusing me of cheating), long story short, I hated him after the act and though he begged me for 3 years before he eventually got married, I never went back. Took me some years to forgive him for all the hurt he caused me then. Please don't give in to that guy, all those blue balls talk na format.

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    8. All these people saying "so is it your body the only thing you have to offer?", don't mind them. Not being ready to give in to sex doesn't mean you are brainless and have nothing to offer. It shows you are principled and know where you are going in life. It is not by force jare! Sex cannot keep a man. Even if he stays because he truly loves you, he would get tired. In marriage at least you both can be committed to make it work. What is the gain in having sex upandan simply because you can?

      Delete
    9. This your explanation is a big lie. Men don't just leave women after having sex with them. It's a fat lie.

      If men are leaving you, then find out the reason why. Maybe your pussy is smelling or probably you're in a relationship with kids, not grown up people.
      Don't use your experience to judge others. Find boys fuck you and run away.

      Delete
    10. Don is pained, but why? Don't you have sisters?

      Delete
  16. Nothing again wey I go read from Naija girls wey dey shock me:
    No be for this blog persin born pikin wey dey bounce begin ask Stella "shall I suffocate it before my fiance comes from abroad?"
    The thing wey weak me be say, I wonder if this person dey visit this blog since abi na new persin be this?
    Una no dey learn from here?

    ReplyDelete
  17. What has he done for you exactly ? Is he jesus ? Did he die to save you? Young woman you better keep yourself you here me !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even yellow sisi my attacker?
      All of una don dey yarn my yarns today.
      Odiegwu o.

      Delete
    2. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

      Delete
    3. Annoy we don't support sexual immorality here, the reason most bvs attack you is the tone and manner in which you pass your message.

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    4. Exactly Unique

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  18. Better fuck him 10 times a day, either that his green dick breaks or your vagina tears... Fear all these gentle guys, they fuck pass ghetto rats, I'm sure he has been getting it outside

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  19. Blue balls, stomach pain etc, all these re lies told by guys to get into your pants. If he loves you,he should wait. If you give in,he's going to break your heart and move on,mark my words.

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    Replies
    1. He should wait, till when? How did you know he's going to break her heart and leave? How?

      Delete
    2. Don so this is your MO?

      Delete
    3. DON. Be there,ve you forgotten that I'm the mamalawo of this blog๐Ÿ˜• I've seen it already.

      Delete
  20. He is not a good guy. You are not clones or soulmates, stop being silly. This boy will destroy your life. Let him go. So, you mean after that post a BV sent in about how preserving herself and trusting God caused God to do as He had promised, wipe her tears and put shame on the face of her enemies - you're here opening your legs to someone who isn't your husband. And he's even threatening you on top.

    Young woman, padlock your legs today.
    Go and pray.
    Discover what you're meant to do with your life and face it.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Iya Oshoronga of Blogosphere10 March 2019 at 15:46

    Poster if you are sure about him in your spirit, use a condom, he will most likely not leave you, your relationship will become more intimate and he will love you more. Let go of your past. My hubby and I ‘did it’ in our 7th month of dating and we have been together for 21 years now. I will marry him again if there is a second life. I am not an advocate for all this close your leg shit when you have found a ‘good man’. If you are not sure of his love and loyalty then don’t sleep with him yet. Be sure of his loyalty to you before you do anything. A lot of virgins are extremely arrogant and I think that’s why most have horrible marriages because it is not by ‘virginity’ BUT GOD THAT SHOWS MERCY. Please nobody should insult his/her mother under my comment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well the issue here is not that she is arrogant, but she is not ready. Poster don't give in. You both are young, you need to find out who you are in life and establish yourselves. Na wa ooo. Sex is not by force.

      Delete
    2. But GOD hates immorality

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    3. Iya Oshoronga, i have a question for you and i want you to give me a sincere answer: would you give your own daughter the same advise you gave to poster????

      Delete
  22. This is so juvenile abeg..
    Stomach ache? I heard that too as a teenager

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ehh
      Na spermenstrual pains.
      Ndi ala.

      Delete
    2. Please google Epididymal hypertension.

      Thank me later.

      Delete
  23. No be only blueballs na redballs. So you've not learnt anything in this life abi...let the guy continue to finish you with lies. No be only stomach pain..mtchwwwww

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  24. .....hummmm I agree he shouldnt pester u 4 sex..and u shouldnt give in since u dont tink u r ready....but on d flip side u reference a molestation u suffered dat holds u back....dont u think u need counselling..wat if dis follows u into marriage...wat if u r never able to relax nd njoy sex wen u feel d tym is right...my2cents..food4tot

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  25. Girl please just move on... if you want to keep yourself and it’s something you’ve made your mind up on, move on. And don’t let the “he’s so good to me” thing tie you down. If he can wait for so long, why can’t he wait more? He can’t finish what he started. I’m just troubled you are encouraging him to go try outside and yet you are scared of him not coming back to you... infact relationships these days, I don’t understand again.
    *originalrudegirl*

    ReplyDelete
  26. .....hummmm I agree he shouldnt pester u 4 sex..and u shouldnt give in since u dont tink u r ready....but on d flip side u reference a molestation u suffered dat holds u back....dont u think u need counselling..wat if dis follows u into marriage...wat if u r never able to relax nd njoy sex wen u feel d tym is right...my2cents..food4tot

    ReplyDelete
  27. P. Scheherazade10 March 2019 at 15:51

    You don't want to lose a good guy?
    Lol.

    A good 'MAN' will not count what he's done for you ( I don't even see what he did for you except you didn't add it to your narration) and expect you to repay him by sleeping with him. That's not love, that's trade by barter.

    A good 'MAN' will be worried as to why you haven't gotten over the trauma of being molested as a child and be more interested in getting you professional help, with a view securing a better future for you both. Not totally fixated on the present gains he stands to get from you.

    A good 'MAN' will not threaten you with breakup in a bid to change your mind about something you clearly feel so strongly about. Love is PATIENT.

    Dear poster. Your main priority as a young single lady is to build yourself up. Financially, physically, spiritually, emotionally and more.
    Be the woman a man would consider himself lucky to net and willing to wait for.
    Also, see a professional, you may be suffering from a mild PTSD arising from being molested as a child.
    Leave that boy alone.

    ReplyDelete
  28. How is this guy a good guy? After knowing that you were molested, he insists on sex when it is not that you guys are married? This guy is a closet psychotic manipulator. Call him and tell him he is free and eveb if he comes begging, kindly know that he is only coming back to try again.

    And please it seems you have a shallow understanding of love. Please find time to read books watch movies on relationships, love in different forms and life in general so that you can open your mind.

    I just hope you are a new BV cos if you aren't, it is not cool that you can't see through this charade after reading previous chronicles and comments from other BVs.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster you think he has not been getting it outside SMH . Don't let him have it else you will regret it. if dey thing dey hungry am too much he should wife you already.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Poster, it’s all up to you. Sex should be your choice. Never because you feel you owe him or he deserves it. Do it because you want to. In the end if he leaves, you don’t end up feeling distraught or defrauded. And if he changes to a beast, you won’t feel like you should stay with him because you’ve given him your body and a “soul tie” with him.

    Let me give you my personal experience. I held out on sex with a guy for three years and after two days of him sexing me like five times (if not more than) he left without explanation. What is funny is that he left me in his apartment and went on a prearranged vacation with another girl. He simply told me he wanted to visit a client. It was his female neighbor that asked for the keys saying she’s to lock up the apartment. Another guy I dated for a while changed up on me so bad after we started having sex I had to run for my safety. However, my husband and I started fucking in less than two weeks (if not less) of us meeting and his love grows for me daily.

    I’m detailing these things so that you’ll know that your body is not a gift to anyone neither is it a guarantee of love and affection. The bottom line is that you should do whatever will not make you feel awful if things turn sour and is right in the sight of God. Always remember though that people will disappoint you and no one knows what tomorrow will bring. Stay safe and sane darling.

    Ivannah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her body is a gift to the right man-her husband

      Young lady dont cast your pearls before swine

      He doesn't value you or your moral decision

      Can 2 walk together except they agree?

      You are parallel lines
      Lose the fun seeker
      Face GOD
      Trust GOD and DO GOOD!
      Do the right thing
      Col.2:8

      Delete
  31. I don't know how to suppress my libido..Kudos to the poster..If I'm with a guy I loose myself๐Ÿ˜˜ This year alone I already slept with two guys

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  32. Baby, you stated that you dated your guy "fresh outta secondary school"? Let me hazard a guess, you would have been between 14-18 years, no? How then can he possibly be the best you've ever met? How many others have you been with to compare? Chances are what you're feeling is "puppy love". This is quite evident from how you come across from your right up.

    My darling, if you want to start having sex, it should be because YOU want to. Don't do it because you want to please or keep a man. Guess what? You can start having sex with him and he will still leave you for another. Sex may keep a guy coming back for more, if the sex is mindblowing but it can't make him love you nor be with you exclusively. A man who truly loves you will not blackmail you for sex. True, the relationship may not go smoothly because he craves what you can't give him. He may go out to get it but he will do all within his powers to keep it from you. Now that's real talk. I wouldn't say he wouldn't cheat on you if loves you because that will be unrealistic. A guy who loves you will not use emotional blackmail to get what he wants.

    Sweetie, with your past history of molestation, sex should be the last thing on your mind until you have addressed the ripple effects and made sure you have healed psychologically and emotionally. You might have sex with him and start hating him with a passion or swing to the other extreme and become irritatingly clingy, both of which will still end the relationship. As for blue balls and stomach aches, really? Are you really going to fall for that? That's one of the oldest tricks in a player's playbook.

    If you are this scared of losing a guy you have been with since 2012, then there's something off in your relationship. If you're not sure of the emotional connection which is stronger than sexual connection, then your relationship isn't as solid as you think. Sex will not fix it either, it might make it worse.

    Never give your man your blessings to cheat, that's not maturity, that's stupidity. Even if you don't mind, which is rarely true, you shouldn't put it out there. Truth is, he doesn't need your permission to cheat anyway. If he's going to cheat at least he should be on his toes and not relaxed. Then when things go south save yourself the further humiliation of hearing "but you said I should go do it elsewhere".

    You guys have been together for years, instead of blackmailing you, why isn't he proposing? Sweetheart, isn't that weird? I'm not saying you should marry him because you want to start having sex, I'm just curious why he hasn't popped the question, rather he is threatening you in an insulting way. My suggestion? Go out and date other guys with similar values. Go out there and see other men, only then will you really know if he is as good as you think, because from what I just read ...

    e-hugs and kisses.

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    1. Ronalda, it’s very good to read your comments. Your absence scared the heck out of me. I was worried you might have been the blog visitor who is in jail for killing her husband.. l feel very relieved now..


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    2. @anonymous 19:05, thanks sweetheart, I appreciate the concern. Thank goodness you can now breathe easy. Hubby and I are too busy loving up on each other for either of us to think of killing the other. I'm a lover not a killer, as is evident in my absence, I was busy having and nurturing a baby and not rotting away in some dingy cell.

      Darling, don't assume Zebras when you hear hoof beats. It's more likely to be horses. I'm not sure what informed your assumption that I may be the Bv who got locked up for killing her husband, but please say no to macabre thoughts and assumptions. If I ever go into hibernation mode, think more sublime and less ridiculous.

      e-hugs and kisses.

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    3. @ Ronalda: LMAO

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  33. sex or no sex,this life is fucked abeg.we wey do abstinence before marriage, na we still dy find pikin after many years,and I'm not d only one..it doesnt mean those who gbenshed before marriage dont TTC o.If I'm given the chance,i for gbensh wella before i marry...this virginity thing is not for everybody.i wl only advise that you give him at ur own will,not out of pressure

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    1. Don't worry with God all things are possible..

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    2. @Anonymous 18:38,This is a wrong advise.If I can turn back the hands of time,I wish I am still a virgin.Though not married and in my late thirties. A times,God test his children to see how faithful we are.That does not mean HE does not love us.I really admire you for marrying as a virgin and I believe you will have your child very soon.Believe and put your trust in GOD.He never fails and HIS words does not change.May the peace of the Lord be with you and your family.

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    3. Has your husband been checked at a good hospital? Sending baby dust your way. Keep faith

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  34. hmmmm please don't give in to pressures...follow your heart sha

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  35. Loosen up and have sex but just make sure you're protected, that's all.
    If you don't want to have sex, don't go into any relationship till you're ready.
    How can you be with a guy for years and you expect him to be waiting till eternity just because you don't think you're ready, you should have stay out of relationship instead.

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  36. My dear. Don’t try it. Your story is just me when I left high school too. Good guy but pestering and threatening over sex. I made so many suggestions like you are making now and even suggested anal sex. I kept myself for my husband who I married at the age of 22 years. We have been married 14 years now with 3 beautiful children. Now I look back at my ex and thank God I didn’t give in. If he loves you he will wait and be faithful.

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    1. So, you opened your mouth and suggested anal sex to a Man?? I am glad dude didn’t take your suggestion.. Ain’t you glad he didn’t?? You would have hated your anus now.

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    2. So, you opened your mouth and suggested anal sex to a Man?? I am glad dude didn’t take your suggestion.. Ain’t you glad he didn’t?? You would have hated your anus now.

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    3. I was really young and stupid oooooo.

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  37. I want to advise you as a child and also from experience. Sex will never keep a man.Inshort,don't give in to sex because you want to make a man happy.You will definitely regret it and can also make you depressed. The man won't love you more or stay by you if you give in.God warned us to stay away from premarital sex .Live your life to please God and not any man.I am talking from experience.Let him go and trust me you will be a happier person.

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  38. my dear don't try it, u will just regret leta

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