Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Thursday, March 14, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

This is just horrible!!!








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
GOOD FATHER BUT HORRIBLE HUSBAND

Good day Stella,
Please hide my Identity.


I have been married for 10years and blessed with 3kids. I am 32years old. Its not been an easy journey but I have tried so hard to make this marriage work.
My husband is 12 years older than me. He was married before. I was advised not to marry him but I never listened. None of my family member was in support of the relationship but when they realised I wasn't going to back out, they had to give in. 


We dated for a few months and got married thereafter.
From the moment I became pregnant my husband would shout at me, insult me and keep malice for days. Very little things like maybe putting on generator without his permission.


One time my elder sister called me by 8:30pm and my husband got angry and smashed my phone. He said am not supposed to receive calls at night.
Before I met him I had worked in the bank for 2 years, and had some money saved up. I graduated at 19 and I wanted to go back to school for Master's and eventually become a lecturer. But all my dreams and aspirations have come to nothing. I was not allowed to go back to school and anytime I brought up the issue of either going back to school or getting a job my husband will tell me to relax, stop rushing, no one to look after the kids, so many excuses, and if I insist, that is the beginning of silent treatment, late night, not eating at home until I apologise.



 It has been like this till now, 10 years of my life, no savings, no job, no friends, all I have are my 3 kids. When my mother was alive, I will complain to her and she will advice me to be patient and endure but it's still the same story everyday. I have tried to get a job but he insists he doesn't want house help in his house and must stay at home and take care of the kids. He doesn't give me any money either. Most of the time he does the shopping and when I have to go to the market, I will write out the list of things I want to buy with the prices before he will give me the money. In the 10 years we have been married, the highest amount he has ever given me to make my hair is 6k for dread locks. Anytime he pays the kids school fees, he will insult me.



 If his business is not going well he will say I didn't pray enough. If am sick am not allowed to complain if not I am dodging house chores. Last year I was pregnant for the 4th child, he got angry and started quarrelling with me. He said if he wanted another child it won't be from me. He said it is not a must that all his children will come from one woman. for 3 weeks he didn't eat nor talk to me. I was so sad and depressed. I eventually had a miscarriage. sometimes he locks me out of the house and neighbours will beg him before he will let me in. There is no name he has not called me,; ashawo, demon, witch, idiot, senseless and all sort of vile names. Just any bad word you can think of. I am not a bad person and I forgive easily but I don't know what I did to him that he treats me so bad.



 For years I hid everything from my family. I don't tell them about how he treats me. The first time he beat me was in 2013 when I was pregnant. From time to time he will give me a slap here and there. I have never believed in divorce so I try to endure. I come from a rich home by the way. My father was very rich when he was alive. I never lacked anything. My mom bought a car for me after I graduated. I left all that behind and married him because he claimed he loved me. But since we got married he doesn't tell me he loves me even when I try to show him how much I love and care about him.



He is a good father but a very bad husband and very manipulative. He is physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. He comes from a polygamous home and they are always fighting amongst themselves. He even keeps malice with his mother and sisters. Such a toxic environment. I finally opened up to my family after receiving another hot slap from him last week. My ear is still ringing from the slap. They have advised me to come back home and start a new life. My husband too told me to leave. He said am a witch disturbing his life. He says if I leave he will not come for me and his life will be better. He is not willing to change his ways. He said so many hurtful things to me.


 I just don't want to bring up my kids in a broken home and he knows it. I wish he will change and stop being hostile and abusive to me. I am considering my family's offer of leaving him. its been a week now since the last episode and he is still not talking to me, he doesn't respond to my greetings and he doesn't eat at home. He comes back almost midnight each day. I am tired, exhausted and going out of my mind. I even apologised again for doing nothing.


Why are some men so wicked, why marry someones child and treat her like trash. Still trying to figure out what I did wrong.

Nb. This last quarrel is because our child didn't say thank you to him after eating and he accused me of telling him not to say thank you. I guess the poor child forgot. As usual its my fault.
So many things I have to write but let me stop here for now.

Sorry for the long epistle. Please advise me.


*I honestly think you need to take a break from that Marriage......To Clear your head and let him clear his.......ah ah what kind of wickedness is this.

I wont ask you to leave but in your mind you know what to do......
You said he abuses you physically as well?hmmmmm maybe that is why his first Marriage crashed.
Leave that house to clear your head and know the next move to make and please DO NOT LEAVE WITHOUT YOUR KIDS!!!!

156 comments:

  1. This one came to kill and destroy you o. This is not it at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. “ I just don't want to bring up my kids in a broken home “ but u want your kids to put sand on ur dig grave and say farewell Mummy? Onye NZUZU

      Delete
    2. Poster leave that man and environment ASAP. Them nor dey die put.

      Delete
    3. Dear poster, please go and read the post about what a toxic environment does to the children from such homes. This is why I am asking that that post becomes a series... You are doing a lot of damage to your kids mental health by remaining with that man. You are just 32, you still have your whole life ahead of you to restart your career and even meet a good man. Please divorce this man and take your kids with you.

      Delete
    4. Steal, kill and destroy.
      Steal your joy,
      Kill you physically
      Destroy your future

      Get counselling advise, you may have to seek divorce / separation from him

      Delete
    5. While reading your chronicle, I knew already that the man is a narcissist, I then saw where you said he beats you.

      My darling, it will only get worse, please advise yourself because that man with all the characteristics you listed up there will not change. It’s bad as it is, what of when he unleashes his full monstrous personality, please like I said advise yourself because sometimes the advise you give yourself is the best.

      Delete
    6. He also came to steal her joy, her self esteem, her future and her dreams. Sadly she will still stay. Smh.

      Delete
    7. Don't get why the kids must say thank you to him after eating. Your husband is sick...LEAVE

      Delete
    8. Chaiiii there is nothing as bad in this world as making a bad choice in marriage.
      See a lady that came from a good home,finished school at 19,worked in a bank and had a bright future and a bad horseband wrecked all that.
      I'm honestly speechless. I know I'm always going on about mental illness. But this your horseband isn't normal. Reason his first marriage packed up.
      Smashing your phone for speaking to your sister at 8.30pm. Malice for kids not saying thank you after meals etc.
      Pls you are living in a toxic enviroment. Even your kids don't deserve to be brought up in such enviroment. Seeing their mother being verbally/physically abused(trust me they know).
      You people need to separate to get your sanity back,go home for some time. Heal and get your self worth back. Seek the advice of your family. From there you will know the next step. Maybe divorce. Your case is better because you have somewhere to go to and people who are comfortable enuf to accomodate you and kids. That is one blessing.

      Delete
    9. Poster you still had time to write this epistle instead of taking your kids and making a break for it. Is marriage by force? Why put yourself through such hurt for a 6 inch grissle (if it's even dt lengthy) that I'm sure you have to beg for. You dont need a validation to take a break from this man biko.

      Delete
    10. Beds and roses.... You took the words out of my mouth. Poster, take a break from that place please.

      Delete
    11. Madam, instead of asking why some men are so wicked, you should ask yourself why you want to die there. Ask why you want your children to grow up in an unhealthy environment just because you don't believe in divorce.
      We can only control how we think and act, we can't control others. So do what you can to secure your future, kids, and health.
      It gets to a point where personal believe is secondary and survival becomes the ultimate. If he is not treating you the way God instructed him to, do you think God will be angry with you if you leave him?
      Most women in abusive relationships use their kids or finance as the reason they stay. Those two excuses are not good enough biko. Borrow yourself sense abeg. No one should be allowed to treat you this way. Even the God of all the earth does not treat you this way when you sin against him, how much more mere man. Why do we allow men disrespect us like this?
      We all can only advice you. The ultimate decision lies with you. It is as simple as this: Do you want to live and enjoy life with your kids or do you want to be miserable with a possibility of death in the name of being married. No woman has ever been awarded a medal because they stayed in an abusive relationship o.

      Delete
    12. This husband of yours needs mental evaluation, WTH

      Madam pls take your kids and run as fast as you can away from that environment, too toxic mehn, I can't deal

      Delete
    13. You don't want your kids to grow up in a broken home, but they are already being damaged by all the bickering and animosity they between their parents. Madam, run for your life and that of your kids. They will be alright

      Delete
    14. Poster reading your chronicle it is almost like it is me writing this chronicle. I went through all that you went through and after I was beaten up and I ended up in the hospital and pushed out of the house. I packed my things, gave myself brain and went to my Father's house and I am a whole lot better than when I was in that bondage called marriage. You have a family who is willing to take care of you don't wait till you die at 32yrs. Listen to Bed and Roses also other good advisers.

      Delete
    15. Ndo, Mrs. Yet, one must ask, what was the rush at 22 y.o. in marrying an archaic divorcee? Does he have Dangote's money or what? Or was it the haste in becoming a Mrs in an insane society? Don't you know marriage is an option especially, for women in today's world? Get some backbone, woman and even if it's your last breath, break away from a demon-possessed husband asap. Sorry to say it, nah oyibo man's boots on the necks of these kain Naija men fit them. If you know, you know.

      Delete
    16. Poster the truth is that no one prays or divorce but if things getbout of hand, instead of one person resting n the grave is best you walk away. I got married 2016 to someone tot came for real, I have always had a picture n my head ho my home should be. After wedding went through hell,I almost ran mad cos little things give me sleepless night, instead of me to stay put,when I saw he was not ready to change,, prayed, fasted,he stop going to church cos he does not want anyone to talk to him. I have to seek for separation. S one year already have come back to myself, before his year runs out I shall do the proper divorce.

      That man will never change,you either accept him that way or you walk away.stop saying out don't want to raise your kids in such away.you think people are about you better han yourself? If you die one wicked woman will one and make your kids go through hell. If am in your shoes I will rather leave that demon man and face my kids. Life na one.

      Delete
  2. And you are still there???!
    Wait. You are still considering staying in the marriage because of your kids?? 🀣🀣 #classic

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na their way, if she doesnt want divorce, what advice again she wants...

      Delete
    2. Na so. Its a do or die affair. May be the guy used kanyamata, I dont know.

      Delete
    3. Do you have two legs and hands? Yes
      Are you blind? No
      Are you an adult? Yes
      Did he pay your school fees? No
      Heck, did he even contribute to your growing up? No
      When you were reading at night, falling Ill, trekking to lecture halls, where was he?
      Will he ever in his life allow any man to treat his daughter the way he treats you? Big NO.
      The only thing he did was to pay a meagre sum called bride price and you allowed him to take over your life
      Well all I have to tell you is your husband has Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) you can google it. As for me if my daughter that graduated at 19yrs with the world at her feet decided to leave her ambition because of a man, I will be so disappointed in her. Madam heaven will not fall if you pursue your goals. Ensure you research about NPD before you make any move. These guys are very dangerous when things are not going well for them. So research very well before you act.

      Delete
    4. See sharp babe that graduated at 19 oh! I'm here thinking, this babe (at her laziest) could have had a PhD at 25/26 (this is with NYSC and consistency), your parents had money and could afford to send you abroad. No? And you would still have dated a nice, handsome, exposed, intelligent young man who would be hailing you for being a wiz-wife.
      And you would have gotten married while in school or immediately after at 26/27. And by this 32, you would have two kids and solid qualifications and (with more mature eyes) have a less troublesome husband. Say you even still married wrongly, you would not be so on the ground and helpless, with these other things I stated.

      No. I am not trying to rub it in that you have made costly mistakes. I am screaming it for those at the back who are about to make similar mistakes and marry just because!! I feel you rushed. Cos you had a timeline to get married and you couldnt see beyond your nose in regards to Oga. How could everyone have told you 'NO' and you still went in? I know. Smart kids always thinking we know it all. I sincerely understand.

      When you begin to picture your husband as a destiny destroyer sent by the devil to truncate your purpose in this world, I think you will make a better decision. You are still thinking its fun and games. Heehehehe. Wait till strangles you. FYI, Fast kids are very hot target for the devil and he planned your own well. Infact I believe he is sitting on your roof right now and eating ram suya with chilled zobi. Just walk outside and check. Lol.

      Delete
    5. Chikito, you are so right. It is not only the devil o. She is also helping the devil with fresh coal to burn her destiny. Can you imagine this her thought process after facing all this trouble? She loves the man more than she loves herself and her kids.
      Make I tell you, karma might not visit this kind of man while he is alive o. Some of you are hoping karma will revenge for you. He might still do well even after your death. My parents are a good example. No, my dad never laid his hands on my mum to my knowledge but she wasn't happy. She died young and he is the one enjoying the fruit of her labor now. What can we do now? We can't take revenge on behalf of our mum so we try to take care of him. Na God get that fight.

      Delete
    6. Apart from the timeline to get married, I think she was also over pampered and as a result became an obstinate character hence all the warnings and advice fell on deaf ears till she landed in hot water, then shame no let her admit her mistake and get out ahead. Now see your life. Since you don't want to divorce please stop complaining, die there you hear??
      You think your kids are not seeing what you are going through!? You think they are not being affected adversely??
      Listen to me, whether you leave or not makes no meaning because that man you described up there will push you out one day, and maybe by then you will be in no shape to start over. That is assuming he doesn't kill you first.
      Since you don't want to divorce, you can try wearing sexy lingerie tonight , also pluck cane and keep on the bed. Tell him you have been a bad girl and you would like him to punish you very well, then hand him the cane. Since he enjoys beating you, when he is done flogging the hell out your ass then he may forgive you. Hope this helps.

      Delete
    7. Dear pls leave the man now b4 he sends u to early grave nd ur children 'll suffer

      Delete
  3. Absolutely horrible.
    I will keep saying it on this blog. Many Nigerian girls do not prepare for marriage; courtship is just for sex and nothing more.
    What do they prepare for? Wedding; yes wedding. Even the girls reading this now, most of una no sabi wetin una want for inside marriage.. . maybe except to eat, have sex and
    snap pictures and post on instagram.
    It is a pity.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If that man prepared he wont threat her like trash. So rephrase that statement to many men dont prepare for marriage

      Delete
    2. Thank you dear. Always blaming the woman for everything. If the man had prepared...would he be maltreating her?

      Delete
    3. @15:26
      You see, man does not prepare alone; it is a two tango thing.
      Na we ladies dey decide if sex should take place in a relationship.
      The moment sex start, the brain is suspended. Before you meet am, na fork you dey think.
      You come enter im house, na tear cloth be dat. Una finish, na to sleep, chop and look forward to another meet.
      If una remove fork, na that time brain fit think. If things scatter, na the lady/kids dey suffer most as you see this
      chronicle so.

      Delete
    4. @16:01 Abeg, sex doesnt suspend any brain. Is it fish brain or potato brain?? How many people marry as virgins these days? Do all non virgins stay unhappily married? I wont consciously encourage anyone to have premarital sex, but please People have sex and still think straight. If a person doesnt have sense he/she doesnt.

      Delete
    5. Well, you can only control and prepare your own side. So that when you enter and the man fails to meet your minimum expectations, you already have a plan on what to do next.
      Nobody is obliged to treat you the way you want to be treated but you are responsible for accepting or rejecting them.
      This story just dey pain me. We women need to educate ourselves for ourselves.

      Delete
    6. @Chikito
      Good yarns Prof.
      Yes na, UNA DEY THINK (about the) STRAIGHT (hard thing) 24/7
      Wetin una fit discuss for dating/courtship wey relate to marriage?
      No be to try out all the styles in the monkey world?

      Delete
    7. Anon you dey mind them, they are quick to support fornication yet they claim to love God and still go against his word with all agression yet still believing they will have it all, fornication goes beyond you, people will still talk about your past to your grand kids, it can mar them if someone disassociated from them because they feel they got mama or grand ma's fornicating genes.

      Delete
  4. Leave that House!!! You are lucky you have a family that supports you. Take your children while leaving too,if he tries anything stupid use your family influence to deal with him. Your children are better off from a broken home than in that toxic environment. Please leave before he kills you,he will never change. Don't tell him you are leaving o lest he takes the kids away. Surprise him with you exit. Save yourself, 32years is still very young.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good advice, but she wont take it. She's still waiting for him to change. May be he's a bed breaker.

      Delete
    2. Save yourself....Save your kids. Just follow the plead of everyone here. You have already made enough mistake of marrying a mad man.

      People read SDK everyday and make this kind of stupid mistake.

      Delete
    3. The issue is here is the the poster haven't realised her badly this man hs damaged her self esteem and future.
      You need to run with your kids out of that marriage to regain your self. Hmmmmmmmmm, you allowed a being to mess up your life and you are still considering what I dont know.
      Please and please leave that man. I felt so bad reading this Chronicle. Sometimes it's good to listen to parents when it comes to marriage. God might be using them to save you from futuristic trauma.

      Delete
  5. Pls dont leave ur kids behind for the mad man..take care

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Am so happy am a single mum. No kind of abuse! Just joblessness abuse🀣. Inukwa caring for this my child that is a handful and dealing with a scumbag on top it! God I thank u oooo. Marriage is not for LOVE. It’s survival of selflessness

      Delete
    2. Anon be there consoling urself.not everybody is in bad marriage. I am enjoying mine.marriage is sweet.so go hug ur pillow.phew

      Delete
    3. You don't want a broken home for your kids? Believe it or not, you're doing those kids more harm than good..

      Delete
    4. But Anon 15;51, thats too mean now, remember you don't mock people for 3 things, marriage, children.
      Na today you , no one knows tomorrow/.
      the bottom line is that everybody to be happy, shes happy and y are happy in whatevr situation you are.

      Delete
    5. Am not mocking her.I hate d way she's just gloating over someone's misfortune .

      Delete
    6. See this foolish anon15.51 do you know if that sweet marriage can turn sour tomorrow?!! Fool

      Delete
    7. Anon 17:09...that is ur portion not mine.no wonder!

      Delete
    8. A good marriage can never turn sour, a godly partner can never bring you sorrow.

      Delete
    9. Anon 22:38.Amen and thanks

      Delete
    10. Anon 15:59 please grow up.

      Delete
  6. Oh wow. First of all, you deserve a big hug. After the hug, you need to go on a break from him. I bet you saw this while dating but it may not be up to this amount...and I guess your family saw in him, some things you weren’t seeing, thus their not giving you their blessing at first. I’m glad you finally opened up. Please take a break, I don’t know what you would do with your kids at this moment... but from what youv said about your husband, I think immediately you leave he will bring in a new replacement.
    Let no bv come here and start saying she must have done something to provoke the husband...bc no one deserves to be treated like this in their matrimonial home...be it a man or a woman. Poster you deserve some peace of mind, please get that. If you can, take your kids with you. Take care of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I so much hate this word, " you saw these while dating him" do not you understand people change? Please shut the f**k up of you having nothing to say. OT is not a must to comment.

      Delete
    2. Ode people don’t change, they only manifest their innermost being when you really stay with them for a long time. And ask yourself why her family were not in support at first...they obviously saw what she wasn’t seeing. It’s not a must you comment either.

      Delete
  7. Marriage is not a do or die affair... please dump the stupid abuser and go pick your self esteem.Sorry for what you've gone through,I cant deal abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  8. How do d yorubas say it Eleyi Gidi gan.

    ReplyDelete
  9. After your family asked you to return home and start life afresh, you are still bothered about a manipulative man that is "carrying face for you" abi? Okay o. Endure till the children are grown and married before you save yourself. Ruth abokoku. I have no single harsh word for your husband. You have no iota of respect for yourself so why should he? You see that his first wife that walked away from this migraine-inducing situation of a marriage, she is the real MVP. She deserves accolades.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amebonawork you over get sense

      Delete
    2. Are we supposed to beg u b4 u explain d "Ruth Abokoku" in ur comment? My friend hurry up and start talking jor.

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    3. Ruth abokoku - Ruth wey follow husband die. The phrase was derived from the Yoruba royal abobaku. The person that accompanies the oba to the other side when he dies. @tessbaby.

      Delete
    4. Cyclone I don't think that's where abokoku came from, it's derived from the biblical Ruth insisting on staying with her husband's family 'mother in law' even after her husband's death.
      Abokoku- die with husband.

      Delete
    5. Thanks Cyclone and Dainty.

      Delete
  10. Please go back to your family for a while and take your children along. Invest time and effort into yourself and your dreams because it is not late. You can go back to school for the Masters you wished for if your family can help you. When you are financially independent and strong enough to make decisions for you and your children, his character will change if you still want him by then.
    You will be doing the children more harm by staying in that toxic environment than staying away because they know you are unhappy.
    Please take a break.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you say a while? She should leave the country with the kids, without a trace!

      Delete
    2. His character will not change, and that is why his first wife left. Madam, leave.

      Delete
  11. i know you wont leave because whilst he may be a shitty husband, that isnt a deal breaker to you. So my dear, continue enduring, after all you have endured for a decade, enduring for another 4 decades wont hurt. Umunna i dont want to bring up my children from a broken home

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My heart is beating fast, my hands are shaking cos if u were my sister bringing up my nieces and nephews in this environment, I'll give you five slaps first in quick succession to dislodge the slap your husband gave you.
      Drag u and d kids home then arrange boys for that man.
      Person wey mo want u , u still dey beg?.
      Wait till he and his mistress decide to poison u since u want to block their joy.
      In this nigeria, who will do autopsy?.

      Delete
  12. Na wah! If person too quiet for this life they go use am as rag.. where did you see this man you just explained? Even a mistress cannot be mistreated like this

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mistresses are the Queens in a man's life, while the wives are treated like trash. No comparison at all

      Delete
    2. Truly truly, this world belongs to sharp, street people not all those zeeworld, African magic epic cry cry people

      Delete
    3. This chronicle writer was carefully selected by her husband. Men with these traits do their homework well in choosing women they can mistreat. They can't go for the no-nonsense types like the queen and blog of the blog, Chikito or Eka Joy because they know such types won't tolerate their sheet.

      Poster, for now you need a change of environment to declutter your mind, body and soul of the gabbage you have imbibed for 10 years.

      All the best!

      Delete
    4. Which mistresses be queens, mistresses that must not say no to sex, both clean and depraved sex that he can never try on his wife,
      You must not be seen unless you have made up like a robot, you must not call at will, your best years will be wasted and at the end you would still want the place of a wife which you may not get and even if you get it you will always be second best and your children will be ridiculed for it.

      Marry godly men and sleep like a baby.

      Delete
  13. Yea, I been make the first comment without reading Stella's advice.
    You don yarn correct yarns. πŸ‘

    But I encourage my sweet, beautiful, dutiful, phone-pressing, hubby-hunting 😜 Naija girls to dey come learn for this blog, no be only to dey fight, insult and receive give outs. These chronicles, as im dey bad sometimes, na im be my favorite. Make una dey learn, no be only fight and release bombs. 😊
    Make I rest am here.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I can't believe U Stellz... Poster, please LEAVE!!! Go to your parents, find a job & start afresh... Oh Lord! I'm sorry U had to deal with all of these, but the situation will not change.. He's simply frustrated with life & disgusted by U too... Love doesn't live there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love left there a long time ago.

      Delete
  15. At 32, it is not too late to actualize your dreams. Whatever decision you make, put your children into consideration. The kind of atmosphere and your husband attitude towards you and the kids (not saying thank you after eating for instance), the effect on the kids psychologically. Then the kids growing up to see their dad dash you slaps at random. You are lucky, you have the support of your family should you decide to take a walk. The ball is in your court. But i think you deserve better. It is difficult loving someone who does not want to be loved. You need to love yourself and your kids as much as you love your husband. Good luck and i pray God guides you.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Pls go back to your parents, love killi me I die, a caring older man, yen yen yen...divorced men, fear them.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Mental illness cones in many forms. Your husband is suffering from mental illness. My best advice to you is to leave and never go back. U and ur children will cope without him and I am sure ur children see the way he treats. Separation is best for now.

    I pray for God's guidance and strength for you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. If you leave the house, your marriage is 80% over.
    Hard truth, but the man doesn't love you anymore. He's tired of living miserably too. Too bad you feel he wasted your destiny but you can still make something tangible out of your life.
    Chronicles are all too one sided unfortunately + the hatred for another gender here is odikwa toxic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go and collect your sense from whoever that tool it abeg oo

      Delete
  19. Poster, you are in a bondage and not marriage. Please separate for a while now clear your head before you die of depression in the name of marriage. Don't leave your children behind ooo.
    Dust your certificate n look for job or your family should assist you with money so you could start business.
    Give your horseband a break.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The bondage tie wrapper with big gele. How can you love a man that hates you so much, bikonu ?
      If you're my sister, I will deal with that man mercilessly. Please leave that house fast.

      Delete
  20. you have a family that is ready to accommodate you what are you still waiting for, my dear that's not marriage you are living in bondage

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  21. Lol the first wife will be laughing at your ass right now...... I don’t know how young girls open eye and marry someone’s husband, why did he not go and look for a divorcee like him, he married a fresh youngie to spite his first wife, now see..... poster ntooooooor!!! Just make sure ur children don’t make this mistake.
    Meanwhile leave his ass and watch his world crumble..... if the first marriage was the wife’s fault this second one will clearly be his fault, he should gaan marry the third one, serial husband.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like I said earlier, he carefully selected her.

      Delete
  22. If you ever leave that marriage, make sure you take your children with you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Mtcheewww and u are still there writing long epistle. the man says he doesnt want u oya pack and go back to ur parents house.

    women when will you people have sense to know when to say NO?

    ReplyDelete
  24. This one no be husband o, leave ASAP!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Blood of God!!!!Marriage can be hard sometimes but not like this, please take a break

    ReplyDelete
  26. Man or woman, if una see divorcee make una flee biko. No one is entitled to be married more than once after taking oath of till death do you path. 99% of divorcees have several fundamental issues. I don't care about what led to the divorce. Marriage is a lifetime contract anybody who preaches otherwise is Ill informed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What about her if she divorces the man?
      Wouldn't that make her a divorcee

      Delete
    2. You dont have sense at all

      Delete
    3. Your brain went on a long vaca

      Delete
  27. When your parents dont accept a spouse, dont marry the person without finding out the real reason. That man is useless and he is not a good father. A good father loves the mother of his kids.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's all

      Women
      Men


      FLEEEEEE Selfish people !
      They make terrible spouses

      Delete
  28. Poster why i will not add to the insult your hub has already downloaded on you is because am fasting.just negodu?? Just look at ...you are still here asking us for advice. Chai! Please poster leavvvvvve, please runnnnnnn.go to your parents place and rest, you have suffered so much.Dont go and die just because you dont want a broken home.your life first!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. 32 years and going through this shit? I don't advocate early marriage for ladies nowadays. Time wey u suppose use groove u go marry come dey endure on top. Chai.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Groove or better oneself, many of the grooves comes with lifetime of regrets.

      Delete
  30. You don't believe in divorce but you are married to a man that obviously do since he's been married before.

    Are you one of "I die here" crew?

    ReplyDelete
  31. Many women are in this shoe oo, they are there to answer married woman. I have witnessed so many. This man will never change, they don't ever. You need to move out and get a job, take car of your children and yourself. You are too submissive that is why he is using you for a door mat. If he eventually come back, because if you start doing well he will definitely come back, please please, give him tough time. If he didn't you will be happier alone. Talking from experience.

    ReplyDelete
  32. I hate when ppl get warning and force the issue then come and complain afterwards. What do you think all the ppl saw that you couldn't? Can everyone be wrong at the same time. What you expect us to tell you now when you got clear warning not to go down that road from the ppl who know you and love you, I don't know you and I don't love you so what should I tell you now?

    Try to squeeze and save out of whatever you get for upkeep of the household. Start finding interesting ways to reformulate your meals so you cut down on certain ingredients and pocket the money. Come up with reasons to get money out of him and save it for your rainy day survival fund. When you have the smallest you need leave and go pursue your dreams. Go get a job and get help from your mother for babysitting and go back to school and achieve whatever it is your heart desire. You are still young so despite it all you could even go as far as a PhD if that is what you want.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Stay all you like in your broken marriage - Till your children become grown and confused like you.

    You see where your stubbornness and shame got you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grown , confused and a menace to the society simply because they did not have any good example.

      Delete
  34. "Why are some men so wicked, why marry someones child and treat her like trash"

    No,you are the wicked one. Yes you are vwicked to yourself and the kids. Just imagine the kind of environment you are bringing up your kids? Did it occur to you he was a product of his environment? And yet you want your kids to emulate all of these.

    Do you think so worthless of yourself that you dont deserve a better life? Someone told you his life will be better when you leave and you still stayed? You have a luxurious life waiting for you and you still stayed asking what to do? Lord!!!! 🀦🀦🀦


    πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

    *Pls borrow me this line...


    ...Go and watch war room. Pray and fast till you drop.

    *so angry right now...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like, im so angry im literally shaking

      Delete
    2. A wife beater can NEVER BE A GOOD FATHER...keep deceiving yourself poster

      Delete
    3. I have said it on a chronicle before, some people just behave like all they came to do on earth is to SUFFER!!!
      Poster I honestly would have given you like 3 back hand slaps to reset your brain if you were my sister.
      Ask yourself if this is all your parent trained and laboured for you to become; a DOORMAT.
      Even if you've given up on enjoying peace of mind, why not consider the children you brought to this world? Do you really want to put them through this unnecessary agony this early in their lives?
      Please STOP that shit about your children growing up in a broken home ALREADY!!! It flipping grates on my nerves. What do you want people like us who lost our father's at a very very tender age to say? I grew up without a father figure and I didn't die. I turned out just right. You just do your job as a mother and your children will do just fine.
      If you die today in that house, that's double wahala for dead body for your children.
      Better pack your load and leave that house right away.

      Delete
    4. I think that man is controlling her with fetish power. No right thinking person from a good rich home will take all the trash she listed and still remain there
      It's not ordinary except she hates herself so much.

      Delete
  35. Dear poster, I hope that you see this comment. Like Stella said, please do not leave your kids behind and take sometime to plan your leave, I mean gather evidence showing how he batters you so that in case he decides to take the case to the court of law, you have everything to show and prove that the kids are better off with you. You are lucky to have a family that supports and will welcome you please take advantage of that. At 32, you can reconstruct your life and become everything you want to be and even more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What if he kills her while she's still trying to gather evidence. Poster RUN please

      Delete
  36. Two thing a woman can bless herself with is a job and savings. Yes, save! Some wives are terrible tho but it's worse if your husband is. I bought a land as a spinster in my name even after we did our intro..... Our savings is in my account......practically it's mine😁.
    Our other stuffs and lands my name mostly. Try me, I comot! With my kids of courseπŸ‘©‍πŸ‘§‍πŸ‘¦πŸ‘©‍πŸ‘§‍πŸ‘¦πŸ™…‍♀️πŸ™…‍♀️πŸ™…‍♀️πŸ™…‍♀️πŸ™…‍♀️πŸ™…‍♀️

    ReplyDelete
  37. Dear Poster, it is really painful reading your story. I can imagine your pain. You are lucky you have a family that is willing to support you.

    What caught my attention the most is that you said you don't want yo bring up your kids in a broken home. In my opinion, that is what you are already doing. You are in a broken home with both parties living in it. However, what makes it worse is that your kids are right in the centre of that toxicity with an end result of damaged kids.

    I think you should look at the children again and think about their emotional and mental wholeness through all this toxicity. It will make your decision easier.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She won't look at her kids well oo.
      Using her selfish interest to hide behind her kids.
      She is just ashamed of being a single mother like a typical nigerian.
      Believe me sister.
      No one cares that deep.
      Your mother God rest her soul must have take a lot of stuff for u to think its normal to do so

      Delete
  38. You said that you don't believe in divorce but you are married to a divorcee? What a Hypocrite.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Big time hypocrites. She cares more about what title society gives her. I dont advice such women, they are the reason its harder for women like me in country. Madam you know what you want...

      Delete
  39. I wrote on SP the other day about spiritual spouses and some people were saying something else. A lot of people have spiritual spouses and these demons will never allow them have a peaceful home. Your husband definitely has a spiritual wife that doesn't want him to stay married. I've joined Queen in saying that people should settle their spiritual spouses ooo

    Poster, stop being too afraid of him. Next time stand your ground when you're right. Look him in the eye, carry pestle and scatter the whole house, show him another level of madness before you leave. What nonsense? You've been too gentle and that's why he's taking you for granted. This is why marriage to a Nigerian man scares me. It's the last thing on my mind. Ghanaian men dare not lay a finger on their wives but here in Nigeria, every coward takes out their frustration on their wives. Rubbish!

    ReplyDelete
  40. My dear, you will not be happy until you forcefully seize your happiness. This was the story of my life-met my husband at the same age, the same number of children, everyone asked me not to marry him, and a similar age gap. One day, I just had to wise up and I cunningly asked to do my masters and left the country and never looked back. I was so sad and depressed massaging and massaging his ego to get him to assist me to my point of stability- all with my end game in sight. He didnt even realize I was gone because he was busy chasing everything that breathes in a skirt. As soon as I left for my masters, I fasted prayed for a job that would keep me abroad and God answered. Now he claims he is deeply in love with me and I should come back home-joke of the century. Sweetheart, the problem is your dependence on him. He has meticulously ensured that you are going no where because of your total dependence on him. I would suggest that you do your best to get yourself out of the pity party state and start planning a way out/forward-life happens. What would have happened if you hadnt met him?-You dont know..so move on. It might not happen the same way for you but you have to look at your situation and figure out what works for you. The bottom line is that You-not anyone else have to fight for your happiness. It is not going to be handed out to you. Be prayerful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so happy for you but who's looking after your kids also can you trust another man again after what you went through?

      Delete
    2. I would say that with regards to my kids I am very fortunate. I have my mum with me now. Which is why I said to poster that she has to figure out what works best for her. My mum helps with my kids. I feel so guilty that my parents have to go through this now. But this is what true love is-people who want the best for you no matter what.

      As for trusting another person..sadly, I cannot say that I can trust anyone at the moment. I just have this deep down fear that it could all very suddenly become a nightmare. So I have decided to focus more on myself, the children and my career. They say time heals wounds..so hopefully one day I would be able to truly open myself to another person. No good person deserves less than a fully committed and loving version of me.

      Delete
  41. Enter your comment...madam,Leave that man before he renders you useless. Go and be alone with your kids .if he wants the marriage, he will change .if not.forget the marriage and focus on the children which is the thing you gained from the marriage. No man is worth dying for and at the gate of heaven,God Will not ask you whether you are married or not.

    ReplyDelete
  42. Na real wah! A man opened his mouth to tell you to leave his life to your face, called you a witch etc and you are still considering staying married to him? He abuses you emotionally,physically etc? I suggest you leave with the tiny shreds of your self esteem left dear. Btw, he isn't a good dad to his kids if he treats their mum like trash! He, intact both of you are messing the kids up big time.

    ReplyDelete
  43. Na wah o. What kind of man is that? Your village people nor do you well poster I feel so sorry for you. If you continue like this you'll just die of depression cos it takes only the grace of people for such people to change. He will frustrate you till you leave that house and he will tell whoever care to listen a diff story. You really need a break pls. Take heart hun

    ReplyDelete
  44. Please ruunnnnn for ur life that man will kill u ,don't forget to take Stella's advice take ur kids with u ,u still young at 32 dust ur self look for a job and forge ahead,God will give the strength u need my dear

    ReplyDelete
  45. Your worry is you dont want to bring up your kids in a broken home ba? no wahala remain there till he kills or maims you then whether your kids will be brought up in a broken home will be the least of your worries.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Your life matter so fuck the broken home shit and leave ooo

    ReplyDelete
  47. Forget about whether you made a mistake marrying him. If you were my sister, I would not care about that. I'd only care that you want more. If your family is really willing to help and there's good money, ask to travel out with the kids. Even just go for holiday. He might agree because he doesn't want them around anyway. From there, plan your next move. You may come back to Nigeria or start a biz abroad or ho back to school. You don't have to go back home. I understand that can be tough. I'd help my sister leave her state once she gets her senses and leaves a fool

    ReplyDelete
  48. You suffered all these for ten years??? You try! The sooner women learn to carry themselves with dignity & self worth the better for us. He is treating you that way coz you've showed him you can take it. My husband pushed me and threatened to beat me bcos of his little cousin 1yr 4months into our marriage, I was pregnant. I packed my stuff the next morning left the house, he sat watching me thinking I was joking.Got to the park got a ticket headed for my brother's place out of town. Hubby came out over an hour later & didn't see me, according to him he thought i was hiding in the security. He called me I ignored his calls, he got frantic and called my people I told them position they pleaded with me to go back, told him my whereabouts & he came to the park pleading, refunded me my fare and we set back home. It's 9 years now and he has never tried that shit not even in his dreams. Ladies pls put some"respeck" on yourselves pls.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Poster you are still young...In fact you've achieved a lot at such a young age and I will advise you to make hay now while the sun shines. Plan your exit and plan it well. Take your kids and leave that house. Wait for when the kids are on a along vacation, while he's gone in the morning, take your kids and run very far away. You need to go rebuild your life. You are lucky you have the support of your family.

    It's better your kids grow up where there is love than grow up in a toxic environment like that. It will affect their psych and they will grow up thinking the way your husband behaves and the way your marriage is right now is normal.

    You need a long break from that marriage. After your departure from that house, your husband will come to realise that "you don't know what you have till it's gone"

    Well, we all know you will stay put in that house after all the advice you got on here.
    Either way, good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Madam please if you can leave this weekend, better. Do not leave without your kids.

    But you tried sha, you endured all these you wrote for 10yrs? Wawuu.! You know what to do dear, leave already.

    ReplyDelete
  51. California. My friend's dog has health insurance and gets a spa every month. I hope to buy a cat and if I do, she'll have health insurance as well. To think that some women are treated worse than a dog, not in a slave camp but in marriage nauseates me. That is below human dignity. No human and even no child should be treated like this. That is why the law matters!! Humans are evil, only the law can control mankind. Elect the right leaders, to pass the right bills & policies to protect your rights and dignity, oh Nigerians. He has nothing to lose. Even in divorce he is not obligated to pay spouse and child support.. when people have nothing to lose, they fear nothing.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Aunty, leave R-Kelly2.0 alone, these type of men destroy you mentally and emotionally - sucking you dry like an orange with nothing left for the world and if care is not taken for the kids. talk to your family about it because if you do get the courage to up and leave, they will be your immediate source of strength and support.

    ReplyDelete
  53. My dear poster it is a pity you have having to go through all this stress.If you be my sister that guy for don chop serious arrangee beating eh. PLEASE LEAVE HIM, TAKE YOUR KIDS, START LIFE AFRESH. GO AHEAD TO ACHIEVE ALL YOUR DREAMS. GOD WILL PERFECT ALL THAT CONCERNS YOU IN JESUS NAME.

    ReplyDelete
  54. You married too early, too quickly and you still sound like a desperado. You had such a good life ahead of you and you would have enjoyed it with the right man. Just look at your background. Finished school at 19, from a rich family. You were a hot cake. Do you know how many families are looking for this profile as wife for their responsible son? Amara was a year younger than you when she married Kanu. I am not alluding that their marriage is perfect. I am stressing that you could have done better and you can still do better.
    If I look at this issue irrationally I will conclude that the man jazzed you. He doesn't want you and has made it clear to you but you are still doing desperado at the ripe, old and wise age of 32.
    You have given 10 years of your life you're never getting back to this man. 10 years of stagnant growth, zero career advancement, diminished self esteem and mental health. Your spiritual life is also at risk because very soon your resentment will shift to God because you feel he is not listening to your prayers.
    This marriage has left you broken on all fronts and you still don't want a broken home for your children. You think that they cannot see through your fake smile?
    You better stay there and let him kuku finish you patapata.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Please don't leave your marriage o, Aunty ' I don't want to bring up my children in a broken home". Know that your children growing up in an unhappy home with lots of fighting is worse, and do more harm to them emotionally and psychologically.
    My advice is plan your exit, be strategic about it, don't just get up and leave the house.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Madam please listen to Stella.

    I still wish my mother left my dad when she could....
    My mother is a strong, intelligent and very beautiful woman, but my dad's words and treatment reduced her to a fretful human being..
    My dad would spit on her, call her all sorts even including a beast, pregnant vulture(when she's pregnant), and all unimaginable names... Did I forget to say he pummels her like an animal till the day i beat the hell out of him. I was 15 then and had become a very angry girl.

    I'm close to 30 but i can vividly remember how broken my dad's treatment of my mother made me feel...

    My dad loves his children but treated my mum like trash. I grew up struggling a lot emotionally because of this.

    Madam please for the sake of your children, and your sanity, take a break from that man. Biko!
    Don't raise traumatized children.

    You have all it takes to live your dreams, and if it will take you to be your true self outside him, please brace all the courage you can and LEAVE!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Correct girl . Like the day I beat my ex I locked the door threw the key away. Beat shege out of him

      Delete
  57. You don't want to bring your kids up in a broken home?do you think that situation you are in is a good home to raise kids?Most women who are in abusive marriages can't leave because they don't have families to fall back on,your own family asked you to come back but you want to die over a man who won't mourn you if you die from his beating.Even if you don't love yourself,don't you love your children?Do you know the damage you are doing to them?A man who doesn't respect you doesn't deserve your love.Please get out and dust your certificate and start job hunting. It's not going to be easy but it will be worth it compared to this situation you are right now

    ReplyDelete
  58. He treats you that way because YOU let him.

    YOU better not hide behind the kids excuse, accept your decisions with your chest.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Most women in abusive marriage don't leave. The only leave when the man practically chases them out. This poster, what is wrong with you? Must you die a married woman? You are already blessed with 3 children, even if you are in a good marriage, now is the time to start making somethig else out of your life. You think a woman's only purpose in life is to marry and rear children? I am also sure you are a brilliant person, atleast impart your gift by engaging in teaching if you can't get something more gainful after leaving that man. Many women's destinies have been destroyed by marrying men like your husband.

    ReplyDelete
  60. My besties mom never allowed any of her daughters get married until they clocked 29/30. You that time you must have a masters degree with a good job before mentioning the issue of marriage to her. Their dad wasn't against early Today they all bless their mother. They are at the peak of their career, married to amazing men with beautiful kids. I advice those who intend to rush into marriage to look before they leap,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If I had my way, none of my children will get married till they are at least 27yrs old. But I'm not God, so I can't say with all certainty.

      Delete
  61. Poster, if you love yourself and the Children, LEAVE THAT MAN,hmmmn.
    Thank God that you have learnt your lessons, next time, you will take wise counsel.

    It is not late , leave him and rebuild your life , you will still make it.
    NOW is the time to leave o, do not wait till next month. You will be fine. Please, take your Children along when you leave him. Best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Well, if you have decided that you want your children to come out of a broken house, you need to plan well.
    But first, take care of yourself. Make up and go for a photoshoot wearing your finest outfit. Go alone to a fast food joint or restaurant and order suya or shawarma or barbecue fish with chips. Sitdown and watch any nice SitCom TV series. Start reconnecting with old friends and relatives. Make sure it's not the ones that will laugh at you oh. Trusted ones. Find a hobby or handwork to learn.
    Then;
    Take screenshot of any cheating evidence you have. Record conversations of him insulting you. Record conversations of him refusing to give you money or allowing you to work. Email it to yourself and store in different files online. Start shopping for a lawyer. You must not leave your kids with him.
    This advice is only if you want your children to come from a broken home. If not, please disregard all the nonsense that I typed.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Darling, don't say words because they sound contrite or noble if you really don't believe in them just to prove a point because in the light of the truth, your true beliefs will shine through. You believe in divorce. Of course you do, how else can you justify marrying a divorcee at such a young age? Perhaps you are so accustomed to your abusive marriage that a part of you feels the need to justify giving your marriage another shot. Again, you may be using reverse psychology on us, that way we will think you're reluctant to leave but the reality is, you can't wait to "abandon ship".

    I don't particularly like the idea of a divorce, however I believe in it as a last resort where life or limb is at risk. I use "limb" literally and figuratively. Mental, emotional or psychological harm all come under the figurative category. Of course the literal limb refers to all bodily harm. Sweetheart, it appears your marriage checks all the boxes. Why not leave while you still enjoy the breath in your lungs and while your family still supports you?

    I feel one of the perks of marrying an older guy is the maturity and he gets to adore you and overlook your excesses. Older men are more tolerant than younger men, statistically. However yours seems to exhibit the character of a pubescent teenage boy with anger issues. My darling, people rarely change. Waiting for your husband to change is an effort in futility. This is the man you married, he has been consistently brutish for a decade, don't expect a change anytime soon.

    Do you know the difference between smashing your phone and smashing your head? Choice. He chose to smash your head that day, tomorrow he may choose to smash your pretty little head. Honey, let the love you have for your kids make you leave. If you don't, they may lose both parents. If your husband kills you, he will be killed by law, then your angels will become orphans and psychologically messed up kids, God forbid.

    Your family has given you the golden ticket to claim your life back, why not strike while the iron is hot? All the best, my love.

    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Ma'am, you are already bringing your children up in a broken home if you don't know it. I guess you were really young when you met this man, but now you're older and experience should have made you wiser. please, ma'am if not for yourself, but your children should not have to say "Daddy killed our mummy" please.

    ReplyDelete
  65. 1) When you say this man is a "good father", what do you mean? That he pays school fees???? A man treats you the way you described, in front of his children and you're still saying "he's a good father". Neighbours always come to beg a man to allow his wife and the mother of his children into the house, but "he is a good father"?

    2) You don't want your children to grow up in a broken home. So, in your mind, the nonsense environment you're bringing up your children in, is a home?

    3) I don't know what you were running away from, that made you enter this prison but Satan did a fast one on you. You married a man because he said he loves you; big mistake. Your parents weren't chasing you away, your parents are wealthy, you were going places - then, this destiny-destroyer was sent to derail your life. And you too, you agreed. Your life and future were of such little value to you that you jumped into the hands of a demon and called him a husband. Your biological family is begging you to come out, but you're refusing. After you heard of Ronke Shonde. And you think what's doing you is ordinary eye.

    4) If the devil is still pursuing you, it means there's still hope for you. It means you're still valuable. As soon as your husband leaves the house, pack what you can (including your certificates, passport, and those of your children), TAKE YOUR CHILDREN and run to your parents' place. Pack only what you need. Even if it's just an overnight bag containing a change of clothing for you and your children. Let me say this again - TAKE YOUR CHILDREN WITH YOU. If you don't have a car of your own, take drop. No matter how much it costs, don't even argue. You're running for your life. If you need to leave without bathing, so be it. This coming weekend should not meet you in the house. Madam, leave when your husband has gone out, oh! To avoid him beating you or seizing any of your children.

    5) Remove your SIM card from your phone to avoid him reaching you. From where you are, file a restraining order against him. Hopefully, you have proof of the violence against you. But even if you don't, still file. Your children may have to stay home for a while cos the madman you call a husband will kidnap and harm them, just to spite you. There's a tiny voice in your mind saying "But he won't harm his own children" but deep down, you know in your spirit

    6) Start praying for God to deliver you quickly and permanently from this thing you went and put yourself. Tell God you are sorry for going where He definitely didn't send you cos that's how the devil caught you. And ask God to restore you.

    7) File for divorce. This one is not what God put together. Even if God was angry with you (which He wasn't anyway, but even if He was), He didn't send you this man. And even if a pastor or priest joined you, God didn't have anything to do with it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, please take this advice in full. PLEASE!

      Delete
  66. Pls my dear RUN with your kids to your family. It may not be rosy there but it's a safe haven for them.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Madam leave before you die there, you are a graduate being treated like a housemaid, ten years of your life rubbished just like that because you love him, love is give and take, you better leave now, its sad to have a broken marriage but its worse to die inside marriage, leave and build a life for yourself and your children and most importantly be ready to stand up against his manipulations after leaving. May God be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Pls take a break,maybe this long holidays go to your family house with your kids,spend the entire holiday there,by the time you are back he must have calmed down. Sis i think you two need a break. And i beg u in God's name get something doing even if it's to be a teacher,you close same time with your kids. I think he also feels you are a liability.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Please, when u eventually decide to seprate from him cos u truly need a break. 1. Dont let him know when you will leave, start saving money cos u are going to need it o
    2. Make sure u dont leave any personal belongings esp (your credentials)u cant so without cos im sure he wont allow u to enter his house after leaving.
    3. Explain to your kids that u need to leave their father now so that u can live till your old age.
    4. Decide to leave now b4 its too late. its going to be rough for sure but u will be better off without him.
    5. Prepare your mind, he might not pay their school fees anymore.
    If u decide to stay, get a job, dust that CV. Tell him u need no househelp cos u are ready to do all your chores.
    i wish u all d best. NOTE! This advice is coming from a woman who has been seprated from her hubby for 3years. i stood my ground and told him my conditions for going back to him. he didnt meet any of these conditions and turned his back on me and his son. we dont communicate anymore. I left him bcos i my life is precious. yours is precious too. The ball is in your court.

    ReplyDelete
  70. You saw it all before walking into it with your eyes opened. Your eyes cleared after ten years right?
    Stay there and be strong for your kids. It's your cro
    Imagine with all the things you complained aboutss, carry it in peace. , you still had the guts to get pregnant for the fourth time, are we to blame the man for that too?
    You have been bearing it, keep on doing same.

    ReplyDelete
  71. This what happens wen u send ur children to skul at a very tender age...dey no book asap but dem no get real human sense ...

    ReplyDelete
  72. Dear Poster. It's very late and I don't know if you will ever get to read this since you have an 8pm curfew on your phone. Your husband is very smart and had planned this out abinitio. You have been boxed. He has killed yourself esteem and now you no longer believe in yourself. You are beginning to believe those cruel words and names he calls you.

    This sounds like my husband sometimes ago until I changed it for him.
    When I was with the bank, my greatest fear was loosing my job, until 1 day, I received my sack letter and I vowed never to work for anybody again. Now, my life is better. Then my husband started his troubles, just like yours, will even send me our of the room to the guest room for months, sometimes 8months.I was scared of loosing my marriage. I had nothing to fall back on. Then one day, I told him I was fed up and ready to leave. He wasn't expecting it. I then renegotiated the terms of the relationship that requires mutual respect. He has since conformed. However, I work tirelessly and save a whole lot for days to come. Deep down in me, I stopped loving him. You still love your husband and as such... you wish all will be well. Ma'am you need to see things from another angle. You were true and sincere but he wasn't. He knew what he was doing.
    You need to put an end to his nonsense. Irrespective of his age, if he can f**k you then you should be able to express your self without any intimidation.
    Irrespective of what desicion you make, Madam you have so much work to do. The earlier you start the better. If Oga dies today and leaves nothing for you, how will you educate and feed your children. Get a job. If he wants to die. Please allow him. Must he talk to you? Must he eat your food? You don't have husband oh!. As you are, you are very single living in your baby daddy's house. Please... Stop feeding the demon. You created this demon. End it. Tell him off. The next time he slaps you, just leave.. What am I saying? Next time ke. Madam commot.

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  73. I have no advice for a woman that hates herself so much, more beating to your body & more insult to you, when you die they will put marriage encrusted in your face, coffin & grave inugo, mumu no leave that situationship be there forming good wife, I believe you insulted alots of divorce & separated women hence your shame to leave else I wonder what will stop you from leaving.

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  74. My story is almost the thing as yours... I think it's mostly like that when the wife is from a wealthy home...in my own case, I left with my kids it's not been all that easy o, but peace of mind I have it in abundance and I can think straight about the next thing to do with my life...poster please leave with your kids and have a good plan for yourself and kids...no man is worth dying for

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  75. Try and record all this things you wrote up their, because he might cause a sceen uf you move out with the children. You need those evidence to fight for the custody of the your kids.

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  76. Poster, carry your children and ��‍♀️��‍♀️��‍♀️ don't look back because he'll definitely come begging later.Please don't give in. Some of my friends are dead now,some came out worse then they were {seriously traumatized}.Some were advising me to go reconcile with my now EX while some were mocking then that I was head strong \stubborn.
    Now I am living my life in peace with my head raised us high.My daughters are growing up beautifully to the Glory of God.
    The stigma of single mothers is real don't let get to you.You're better much alive than dead.

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