Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Tuesday, March 19, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmm......




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
  A STEP SON ISH



I have a situation i need advice on. 

My hubby is a divorcee. He was divorced way before we met and got married. His previous marriage produced a son. His ex wife does not allow him see the boy except he goes to his school. That's where he sees him. He pays school fee and all but she said she cant allow her son visit him because he is remarried and doesn't know the other woman. 


Anyway, i have never met the boy except his pictures. Hubby goes to his school to meet him. Hubby and i have two kids together already. My hubby recently told me to do a photo frame of our kids pictures so we can hang on the wall of the house. He also said he wanted to do a photo frame of the picture he took with his son and also hang it on the wall of the house.


 I told him i wasn't comfortable with it because his son doesn't leave with us and hasn't even been to the house. I told him i don't want to be answering plenty questions when friends visit and they start asking who he is after seeing the frame on the Wall.i told him how many people am i going to let into my personal business . told him i would do the frame but i see no reason that it has to be hanged on the wall when he doesn't even live with us.

 If and when he starts living with us, then why not. I told him its my home too and i should feel comfortable in it. I want to know if i am being selfish or am i wrong with my submissions?



*Maybe the boy's mother was right after all in not letting her son come near you..Imagine how you react to common photo,how will you react if the boy is nearby?He is just a kid,so please purge yourself of your jealousy and let your hubby be free with his son....Is anyone dragging anything with you?...Even if he does not live with you,his photograph can be hung anywhere and if anyone asks you,you simply say ''that is my Step son!''....Any big deal in saying that?

Madam be careful before you do damage with this behaviour!!!

128 comments:

  1. I understand your plight and there will be awkward questions but let the photo hang on the wall

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is no problem here. She can hang the picture and proudly acknowledge the boy as her son simple. My brother had same problem, babymama refused the son visiting,buy brother was paying fees and upkeep. Now the boy is in university same state as his father,and guess his weekend getaway,his fathers house and his fathers relations. This child his his father copy even to voice.

      Delete
    2. Nothing awkward there just smile and say it’s your step son like Stella said. You have shut whoever up who wants to start a gossip. You are creating a problem where there is none. This is a boy he has way before you guys met not like he is some away match result. Be very careful oo..

      Delete
    3. I understand you perfectly...but there is another solution. Why don't you go with your kids and husband to visit him in scholS then you all take a family pic together. That way hubby will be happy and there will be peace at home.
      Shalom

      Delete
    4. Poster remember it is his house as much as it is your house too.
      Allow him hang the picture where he wants it, and answer whoever dares to ask you questions truthfully.
      You can't keep loving on denial, that boy will continue to be a part of your life whether you like it or not, the earlier you come to terms with that, the better life will be for you.

      Delete
    5. Which Plight?
      Poster, you knew what you were marrying.
      So you cant even call or visit his ex wife to plead for more daddy time on your husbands behalf?.
      Shame!.
      Im guessing if he does come to the hpuse you will treat him like an outsider.
      Please let that poor boy in.
      Treat him like your son.
      Not every war is meant to be won by you.
      Let the other woman win this time.
      For your husbands and step sons sake

      Delete
    6. She wants to close her eyes and open it and the boy no longer exists.
      Lmao.
      I bet you've not even t told your kids they have a brother.
      Chill.
      One day your daughter will sleep with him unknowingly.
      You think say na only movies e dey happen?

      Delete
    7. Stella na wa for you oh! She has a valid point and people with their pokenosing will always ask questions. Her point is valid and this doesnt in any way, make her a wicked step mom.
      If you are in her shoes, you wont behave any better with your pepper body.
      Poster, tell him to snap with the boy and your siblings and frame it instead of just him and the boy.

      Delete
    8. I undertsand the poster. Nigerians gossip alot. If anyone visits and see that picture they will start asking her toooooooooo many questions. They will even tag her husband snatcher or call her second wife. Poster use wisdom, You can even stop your friends from visting you in your home for the time being. cheers. @Blessed Princess

      Delete
    9. @Jesus babe
      Your idea is good. Dear poster, i think you need to suggest Jesus babe's idea to your husband

      Delete
    10. Madam poster it is just a picture. No big deal at all and it is not a disgrace. If only we could put ourselves in other people’s shoes and treat them how we will like to be treated in those situations. In this case, imagine if that boy were your son. Will you not be happy if you know his father hung his picture in his house?

      Delete
    11. You people worry too much about what people say. Your husband had a child, his blood and you are not interested in going to see him once! Getting to know him or letting your children meet their brother?
      We, women, like to complicate our lives.. now, if that boy turns to a bane in the future, would you take a little responsibility in it?

      You are a selfish soul.. that’s what I’m saying! He doesn’t have to live with you to be part of the family..

      Btw, sometimes it is actions like these that turn out men away from us. You could be a hero in this situation but no, your selfish mind won’t let you. How can you live a man and the his own flesh, it’s not like he was an ‘oops’ baby... even if he was, the baby didn’t ask to be brought into the brouhaha

      Delete
    12. Poster, your step son is your son by marriage. Proudly introduce him to anybody as SON. Have it in mind that he is your son living with one of your relative, that way, you will love him as yours and when you eventually meet in future, there will be no ish.

      Delete
    13. I don't understand you people ooo, what about the boys mother who already sees her as a problem even without knowing her, for marriage when she leave with her own hand. Na the poster drive her from marriage? Poster don't agree, the day the wife enters the house and see's the sons picture it might become another problem, before she say you use the boy picture go juju. Talk to your husband with love that there should be some sort of consent from his 1st wife 1st before you put the picture and be present when she gives her consent if not please DON'T DO IT, STAY ON YOUR LANE. remember to tell your hubby WITH LOVE OOO.

      Delete
  2. Madam narrator, you are a very wicked and stupid woman. Were you not aware your husband has a son before marrying him? Why can't he hang his pix in hs house? Whether you like it or not, the boy is his son and first son for that matter. This is Africa. He will still take his position in the family when he grows up. Deal with it!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, you knew about this boy before marriage. If one is not ready to handle step kids issue do not venture it in the first place. what is in a picture? The kid has a right to be in his father's life and home which happens to be your home as well. If you can't allow his picture in your house, are you sure you will allow him near your house? please, for us all reading this if you can't handle step kids, Ex-spouses, baby parents don't start a relationship with one who has one or two of these scenarios. Your husband has a right to have something remind him of his son, a picture, a token from the boy or something. Do not take away that little joy from him. Turn the table, how will you feel to know your Ex is not allowed to display a picture of your kids with him in his house? Their father's house! Like Stella said, by the time you tell people who ask that he is your stepson, they will be surprised, talk about it behind you, ask you how old, tell you how your kids will share properties with him and hey! all these you know before now right? so after all the questions and side talk, it will be over and you will still have your home with your husband. Sometimes, in asking "What will people say" or trying to look good in the eyes of others, we start living a borrowed life. Your husband has a stepson. QED. If you don't allow the picture today, his story will come up another day and you will still answer questions! My lady, please allow your husband that joy and your whole will be peaceful. Some dramas are not necessary.

      Delete
    2. Ordinary pishure, na wa o.

      Delete
    3. That is the boy's FATHER'S HOUSE, Madam insecurity!

      Delete
    4. You are calling your stepson personal business, asin he is the family secret? What is the big deal? If you really love your hubby you will put the boys picture up knowing that he barely has time with this child.
      If hanging his picture will bring joy to his heart then permit it, and what the hell is your business with what people will say? Oh you never told anyone you have a step child? Aunty even though that boy isn't under your roof he is and will forever be a part of your life so better accept it, thank God his mother never let him into that house.
      As far as you weren't deceived into this marriage, you can't refuse

      Delete
    5. My sis has 3 kids, husband a womanizer, had a love child who shd be 20 or so now, marring into a tough but very wealth family, she was d only one who cld hold him down cos her mouth cuts d strongest of irons with abuse, aunty got married to d guy, we or me her sis wasn’t aware he had a love child, after 6yrs outside the country I came back, went to visit her in Abuja , boom , a pix frame of a very beautiful well shaped girl, Ore who is she? Y on ur wall? Oh is Bukky o, my step daughter, she is even around, me...πŸ€•πŸ˜―πŸ˜³. This mad woman ( my sis) cold accept another woman’s child even put up a frame? Ha, Pls what’s d gist?she gave me download and how she practically forced d hubby to allow the girl know her step siblings, although she is very rude( I withness it myself ) my sis treats her d same way she treated me while growing up. So if my crazy mad sis can frame a pix of an “ unholy child “ according to that MAD pastor, pls WHO R U?

      Delete
    6. ordinary picture? easier said than done. If i were you, he's not hanging any picture on the wall. Who will be there to be answering embarrassing questions all the time. His picture has no business being on the wall.

      Delete
    7. Anon 15:33, who the hell is your sister????
      You can make your point without trying to make your sister into a Queem that she is not!!!
      I am NOT the poster... just pissed at your comment.
      P.s I totally agree with Stella.

      Delete
  3. Lol @Stella's comment. What a chronicle!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "If and when he starts living with us, then why not." Yimu.

      You already have an issue with a mere picture frame, so what are you saying? You haven't accepted the boy in your heart and I doubt you would "if and when" he comes to his father's house. If a mere picture can be giving you migrane, then you have a serious problem.

      Some of us fall in love with children by looking at their picture alone. We feel as if we know them and want to be part of their life. That's a function of love and not many people have it. The truth is that you've no love in your heart; and no matter what we tell you here today, it may not yield positive result. Some of you have follow come wickedness.
      Pray to God to give you the gift of love.

      Stella please post. I'm just pissed off.

      Delete
    2. Still on your "if and when"
      You haven't made an attempt to see your step son, instead you're sitting on your high horse waiting for him to come to you, ranting about a picture frame on a dirty wall.

      What stops you from accompanying your husband to your step son's school to get acquainted with him? If you do that frequently, the son would always go back home to tell his mum that "dad and his wife came to visit me at school."

      Gradually, you give him presents during your visit. That way, his mum would start getting comfortable and would ok his visit to your house. Every woman wants to be sure that they're sending their child to a place of love, and you madam, haven't shown that you're capable of loving.

      Go and watch this family oriented movie - "Mothers day" starring Jennifer Aniston.

      Delete
  4. Ordinary photo frame... Thats is his father's house mind u..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sharon I tire for the poster.

      Poster you are even suppose to look for a way, to snap the pictures together with the boy. You are here complaining about a father hanging the picture he snapped with his first child in his sitting room.

      Madam so this means you've not even made an attempt to visit the boy with your hubby in school? You better start going with your hubby and kids to vsit him once in while.
      Your kids needs to know their big brother because of tomorrow.

      Delete
  5. Wicked step mommy. See how threatened you are because of a picture! Ordinary picture! hide your face ma'am.

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  6. I wish you could see the shocking expression on my face when i read that you weren't comfortable with a mere frame of your husband's son. Son he never hid from you. Na wa oh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. or maybe you people should not hang any pictures at all,if picture will cause trouble.But honestly thats why its good to check well if you can cope with a divorcee with kids.Marriage is already complicated.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing complicated about a marriage the man told her everything right from the word go. Poster correct yourself before it is too late.

      Delete
  8. This one na wicked step mother ooo. Imagine your stupid assumption and how you will be explaining. You are just SELFISH.

    D ex wife is so right about not knowing you. SELFISH woman

    ReplyDelete
  9. I see nothing wrong in what your hubby has suggested. You knew of the boy's existence prior to marriage and choose to accept him as his "with all his baggage".
    Suddenly, you are now "concerned" because of what people would say rather than the happiness in your home?
    So if the mother has a change of heart today and decides that her son should come and live with his father, you will jump and enter frying pan??
    Madam, calm down and choose your battles wisely abeg. You know whether your hubby has the boy's pictures hung in his office?
    Stella no de use my comment cook soup abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I think I understand your fear. You wouldn't want people asking you who the boy is where he is now, how about the mother and other similar questions. Does it mean they don't know your husband has been married before or you feel they don't know and hanging his photo will make them to know. But all in all there's nothing bad in having the boy's photo in the house

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What does it even matter if they know? Are they the Lord's over her marriage? If they ask any question you answer them, except you lied about marrying a brand new hubby.
      Madam you are very selfish for refusing,

      Delete
    2. push up.. thank you!! your head will not lack oyel!!

      Delete
  11. Dear Stella i don't Agree with this your red pen. the woman is absolutely right. the boy is not part of the family yet, till he is then his picture can surface.imagine having to answer questions from her kids. if the man really wants his son in his life, then let him fight for it by making him come in contact with his new family. the poster is not jealous rather i feel she isn't ready to start answering questions from prying eyes. madam you are right to object to that kind of plan.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. pictures should be on display..she was aware of the boy before accepting his father.selfish lot

      Delete
    2. you must be wicked!! how can you say the boy is not part of the family? his first seed!! for the love of man it's not the ex wife's pics that he wants to hang. picture with his son!!!!

      Delete
    3. That boy is the first born of that family, so he's family anywhere, any day, anytime.

      Delete
    4. Jasmine I'm with u n the poster

      I quite understand wer shes coming from.

      Tess baby.

      Delete
    5. That child is a product of a legal marriage. You knew he is a divorcee. He has as much right as ur kids. Hang his picture jare. But the mother’s instinct seem to be right about you oo. You didn’t accept that boy, she is right to protect her son from you. Don’t push your husband away with your jealousy

      Delete
    6. His first child?first marriage?Many of you are mad!was she forced to marry him?Didn't he tell her about his ex wife and child?wicked lots

      Delete
  12. My stepmum hung ours but hid it where visitors will hardly see it.afterall you won't say she didn't add you to their family enlarged picture.lmao.abeg I no get strength type long story

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    Replies
    1. Lmao πŸ˜‚ 🀣🀣🀣 at least she hung it somewhere, she can't shout.

      Delete
  13. My dear poster that was really bad please allow heal also put the frame in his house the boy's mum was there before you ...moreover he is not living with you ...most people you are talking about knows your hubby has a son and others who doesn't just tell them oh that frame?that's our first son and his dad also let your kids know they have a brother so each time the see the frame the love for him will increased daily..

    ReplyDelete
  14. Please hang the photo boldly on the wall and answer any question truthfully. He is your stepson and everybody that loves you will love the choice you have made. I'm actually surprised that you care about what people say more than the feelings of your husband.

    Don't let unnecessary jealousy and short-sightedness destroy your marriage. If you LOVE your husband, you will LOVE his son and be proud to show him to the world.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Stella,
    you are too harsh on this matter.
    Jealousy how??
    Some ladies I know will ask their hubby to stop seeing the little boy.
    Poster please just listen to your conscience whenever you wana make a decision concerning your stepson.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Etsako Pearl, you are not serious, this is the man's first son. He was legally married to the boy's Mum! Me sha, I wouldn't like my child's picture in the home of an envious woman before juju enter picture...πŸ’…

      Delete
    2. Those ladies are witches

      Delete
    3. Stop seeing the little boy how now? As in remote control a man not to see his son? So, isn't that same jealousy you wrote up there?
      Jeez! Some of you are wicked. Very wicked!

      Delete
    4. That child is not love child o..but he was legally married to the mom...why will she stop him from visiting the child... Either she likes it or yes..that child will come back to that home..the mother's fear is justify

      Delete
    5. Sharon Aminu, read again.
      She didn't stop the child from visiting, it is the child's mother who stopped him from visiting.
      I don't know about the the mother's fear being justified, seems to me like she's doing it out of spite. If not, why hasn't she made attempts to know the new woman in the house?

      Delete
    6. Etsako.. Chai!!! I'm really disappointed in you. Some of you are wicked sha!!! Stop seeing the boy that was there before you? Wait,do you even think you can stop a man from seeing his child? Selfish people everywhere. I'm female BTW. IF YOU KNOW YOU CAN'T DEAL WITH STEPCHILDREN, DO NOT MARRY A DIVORCEE. Yes I'm shouting so those at the back can hear me!! Radarada

      Delete
    7. Anon 17:25.
      scroll up and re-read what she said "if and when he start living with us why not" I mean it's not like she is rejecting d boy.OK,how sure are we the boy is willing to accept the lady as his step mum? So please y'all yelling under my comment should calm down abeg.

      Delete
    8. The truth of the Matter is, this man will never allow his wife to hang pix of her child from a previous marriage, even if it was "her first son". Madam, please allow him hang the picture though, it no big deal. The child is innocent.

      Delete
  16. Sounded like a typical selfish and wicked Nigerian woman. That's the only life they know,cruelty!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. But Stella, this boy is like a stranger to her despite the fact that he's a stepson. Where I fault her behavior is how come she has not gotten to meet this boy even once after years of dating and marriage? Is she aware that her stepson is a big brother to her children no matter where they are? Wouldn't she want them to have a relationship as siblings? A simple framed picture on a wall is not gonna cut it;its simply not enough. She should have started a relationship with this boy as a family ages ago. Yes,she's sounds selfish now but better late than never. She should give this a thought and prepare her heart and home to welcome him when the time comes.
    Just my two cents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But you read where she said the boy's mum doesn't allow the boy to visit their home because the guy has remarried,that the dad does the visiting in his school.

      Delete
    2. Nice one, i always encourage my bf to go see his sons from previous marriage, haba. I wonder if am Nigerian, my traits are far from the ones i read here. I give freely to my bobo and i dont expect a thing financially, as long as i am happy with him, am good to go

      Delete
    3. @anonymous15:24 that the mother doesn't allow him visit at home doesn't mean the step mom cannot join in visiting him in school.

      Delete
    4. No love with stinginess

      Nobody likes to feel shortchanged
      Nobody

      Delete
  18. Anyone who asks "he's my stepson or he's my husband's first child or he's my husband's son" shikena!! What will people say has killed so many people's destiny! Stella you are so correct!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Stella see I know everyone is entitled to their opinions but me I wont take it either reasons being its not easy answering questions up and down for someone wu isn't there before u know pple will start advising u on what u don't even know but next time poster frame the pic before he comes back put it in your bedroom or somewhere only u both go don't even act like any issues till he insist on the pallor then if so hang it there then invite someone who he looks up to that is not aware of his son by the time he answers question tire he will take the pic out himself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He will not take out the picture kankan. She doesn't want to answer questions abi? If the boy was living with them would she not answer questions? You had better leave your husband to hang the picture on the wall. It is house too.

      Delete
    2. Mtchewwwww....Radarada!! When you marry someone with baggage from his previous marriage, you accept him and his baggage. His son's photo deserves to be on the wall just as your children's. HE IS HIS SON!! I'm so angry!!! We're not even talking of a love child. This is someone that was there before you!!! Selfish people everywhere!

      Delete
    3. every one is selfish until its you who has this problems my goodness what if this poster is your sister or you yourself what if your the daughter of this coupke and your friends come visiting at that age u will start explain that your dad has a son you barely know cos his mother refuses him to visit and so on....

      Delete
  20. Stella just spoke my mind... Poster, please respect urself oo! If U love this man, LET him hang pictures of his son wherever abeg, is it not his home too? If i were U, I'd even be suggesting we take a group picture, the boy inclusive.. Abeg live and let live, life is fleeting, all this drama re very unnecessary. Learn to love people in ur life unconditionally, that is where peace of mind stems from... So long as it changes nothing in the relationship between U $ hubby, allow him exercise his freewill regarding his son, no one is unseating U biko...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Stella thank u. It’s like the mother knows u are a wicked person. It’s just a pic and it’s his father and sibling house so his pic has every right to hang there. Did he not have the child b4 u were married? Or u think people don’t know your husband is a divorcee? U are the kind that cares what people say. We women just like trouble. See the small thing u are fighting for. Choose ur battles wisely. Time u r wasting fighting for this can be spent fighting a bigger and better battle.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Madam, you are being unreasonable. There is nothing wrong with having your step son's picture hanging on the wall. When people ask just, just reply that the boy in the picture is your husbands step son. Simple! If you were smart you should have even been the one to make the suggestion. That would have sent a message to your husband and his ex wife that your heart is truly open to the boy. But with this your attitude you have shown that the ex wife is right to be sceptical about how you feel about him.

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  23. Stella maybe she didn't tell people her husband is a divorcee with a son.. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ€”πŸ€” Poster that's why it's good to be honest. Pls allow the man post his son's picture biko.. After all, he is the first son!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh Madam Stella thank you for your comment to this chronicle poster! No wonder the mom doesn't want her son in your home. Can you imagine arrant nonsense. You husband misses his son & the only way he can feel his presence around his home is what you denied him of. Well done madam.
    Where you hiding the fact that you married a divorcee who already has a son from his ex wife from your friends? Or you intend hiding it for new friends & associates that don't know your past? Common receive sense & do the right thing immediately. He is even supposed to make a single frame of you, him & all his kids be it step son or not. Na wa O, wetin jealousy dey bring too bad o

    ReplyDelete
  25. You arent a nice woman at all ..his ex wife is right .I'm also married to a divorcee with 6kids from his ex ..I have just two..but I accept all his kids and take care of them..they even come home every holiday . We took one picture as a family of 10 and framed it ...why would u love a divorcee man and not accept his baggage ...Pls deal with it ..that boy is his blood ..if u don't show him love, your husband will never appreciate u ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 6 is a lot of blending poo

      Chai

      Intact no be blending, na grinding be this

      Delete
  26. Madam,i think u are selfish. If u luv ur husband,u will consider his feelings.

    ReplyDelete
  27. That boy is his first kid, owner of the lionshare of his properties, lol, how does that sound? Let it sink in, you ain't a nice step mom, I bet u will maltreat that boy if he lives with u...be a good step mom, pls, your husband will hang a photoframe of his son in his house, period. Hahahahaha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Which yeye properties,and who told you the first born is even entitled to the lionshare..Nonsense!!@

      Delete
    2. Sorry for your pain 15:35.

      Delete
  28. I will send you out of my house

    ReplyDelete
  29. Stella you are right, SMH, on top ordinary picture frame, poster you are wicked and the mother of the boy should better keep her son far away from you.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Just to add picture? And you are saying you have a situation hmmmmmmm poster it is well with you. I pray your kids don't find themselves in such situation. Life is not that hard. It's questions people will ask that you are bothered about that's not fair. That boy is part of your family whether you like it or not. Please work on your self a mere picture is what you sent a chronicle for. Putting his picture does not change anything please since you knew about him from the start.

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  31. Picture picture on the wall.
    Just to hang picture on the wall. A wall.
    Women and wahala.
    Long hiss!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Poster, your heart is black. Pray to God to cleanse it ..... you'll be a very terrible step mother in the future, If the boys mother makes the mistake of letting him live with you . Tueh!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Brava StellaπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

    ReplyDelete
  34. Lol, madam you mean your cronies and family aren't aware you married a divorcΓ©e? Are children from a previous marriage not expected? Please hang that picture in the sitting room and take several seats. You'd better make an effort to unite your family not divide it with pettiness. The devil has come for your home and you're letting him in

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  35. Allow him do what he wants else you might end up losing out. Be nice madam.

    ReplyDelete
  36. If that Man didn’t have a Will before now, I’m confident he’d making plans to cs this kind of woman would want to disinherit the husband’s son.
    AJ ( ID coming soon)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. You people will just be talking with so much assertion.

      Delete
  37. The boy's mother was right after all!!!! I run away from human beings like you. Ordinary picture!!!

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  38. This one na Naija 21st century sisi o. Ahu na agbakasi ya unnecessarily.
    Na like this you go dey married?
    See as ya marriages been scatter for nothing o.
    I been don dey yarn am since say, Sisis for Naija no dey prepare for marriage,
    them dey fork during courtship and prepare only for wedding day.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Don't allow him put that picture, let everybody go and do their worst, step son ko, step disaster ni

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See them.. Birds of a feather. Your insecurity must be top notch for you to be getting so worked up and feeling threatened by a picture. Ask God to fill your heart with love cos you really need so much of it. Step son that you're supposed to love and treat fairly. Haven't you heard of blended families?

      Delete
    2. Lol this one is a witch black one.Idiot you didn't know he was a divorcee with a son abi?Thunder fire your rotten fingers

      Delete
  40. Stella took the words right out of my mind

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  41. Something is rubbing me the wrong way about how you're describing your husband's son. You're not calling him your stepson, but "the boy". That's detachment. You're trying to detach and pretend as if a whole human being you knew about before getting married, doesn't exist.

    You're actually a dangerous woman. Your husband's ex wife doesn't know you, yet you think she's unreasonable for not wanting her son to live with you? Do you send your own children to the houses of people you don't know? Even if they are nice? Not to talk of the amateur witchcraft you want to start practising, that you wrote about up there? And a woman who is the more present parent a boy knows, should just dash him to your husband because you're wearing ring. So that tomorrow, she can hear stories that touch?

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    1. And original poster, you're actually evil. When your husband's son starts living with you, he can hang picture? When you got pregnant with your golden children, did you do ultrasound or buy baby things before they arrived? Why didn't you wait; after all you could have miscarried? You want your husband to forget his child to make you comfortable. A child that you knew about before you got married. The shareholders of your life that you want to impress and you think you need to explain pictures to, how will you explain a whole human being when the time comes? Kai! You're a bad woman. I don't know what happened with your husband and his ex-wife but he has entered one chance with you. Go and beg God to cleanse your black heart with the Blood of Jesus before your children begin to reap fruits of your wickedness that they don't know about.

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  42. You guys should stop saying she is not nice. I think she is just avoiding prying eyes and unneccessary explanations. She only needs to be advised. Poster, allow your hubby to hang the pic in your home or hang it yourself. It is better to start making the boy "popular" in your home now, even in his absence than to wait till his mum finally agrees. Be prepared to tell any friend or family to face front once they tresspass with their questions/advice. By then it will start look like a secret and like some kind of cover up. This will not be fair cos your hubby was open from the beginning and you are just afraid/uncomfortable. Just be prepared to tell any friend or family to face front once they tresspass with their questions/advice. They should only know he is your step son and he stays with his mum. The end.

    Another thing is to tell your husband to try his best so your kids and you can meet his first son.

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    Replies
    1. Sincerely I am not happy with the responses at all. Bvs are too harsh with the poster, she needed advise that's why she sent the chronicles not bashing. Poster photo frame is no big deal, let him hang it. I think it's high you met the boy and try to start a relationship with him and I can bet you your husband will respect and appreciate you more.

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  43. Stella,I don't agree with your red pen at all

    If she is saying she doesn't want the picture until the boy lives with them,she has a right to say that.She might have married him without letting her family know the history and maybe they are a family who don't like such dramas so how will she start explaining and to how many people?

    For those saying she is wicked ,if the ex was not wicked too why did she leave the marriage and not allow the man come check him up at home which is a more relaxed atmosphere or even allow him come spend holidays with his step siblings?

    A woman must not agree to everything if she is not comfortable with it all in the name of marriage.

    Meanwhile ,dear poster for peace to reign you can keep the frame where it won't be obvious to guests if its gonna cause problems because most people saying all sorts won't even take it as well.So many hypocrites on social media.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. Very sincere response. Poster dont mind all this advisers in stella blog. Its easier to advjce.when they fall in the same shoes, they will even do worst

      Delete
    2. Nonsense talk,radarada oshi

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  44. Sweetheart, calm down and read this carefully. You relinquish certain "rights" when you marry a divorced father. Just like a man who decides to marry a woman of a certain age must make certain sacrifices, a lady who willingly marries a man who already has a child, must learn to accomodate and accept the child as well.

    Whether you like it or not, you are a stepmum. If you don't like the title, you shouldn't have married the man you did. Honey, that is his son, his first child, as it were. He doesn't need to live in your house to earn a place for his picture on the wall. Your excuse of not wanting people in your business is jaundiced and almost laughable if it weren't sad! Don't people already know you married a divorcee? What's so off about a divorcee having a child? Sweetie, please stop! Just stop! Seriously.

    Please change the narrative, break the mould of the cliched wicked stepmum. My stance is, approach "unpleasantness" with love and tenderness. You can actually disarm people with kindness. You are actually justifying your hubby's ex's reservations about you. What you fail to realise is, your hubby can easily reconnect with his ex through their son. Your hubby will soon start resenting you for the hostility towards his son. His son's mum is the best person for him to unburden himself to, before you know it...

    It is incredibly selfish and impractical to love a man but not want his son around your home or to get to know his half siblings. Women who can't take the heat of stepchildren usually run far from baby daddies and divorcees with kids. Sweetheart, you don't have much wriggle room here. If you want a happy marriage, learn to love and accept your stepson. The suggestion of putting up his picture ought to be a none issue. Like we say, "the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence". Just because you don't want people knowing you have a stepson doesn't mean he doesn't exist. The world is a funny place, your stepson may be the one to stand for you and your kids tomorrow. Please apply wisdom.

    e-hugs and kisses.

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    Replies
    1. I love you Ronalda!!! I really really doπŸ–€πŸ–€πŸ–€

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    2. Ronalda, in Eddy Murphys voice, "once again, you have judged correctly"

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  45. I'm not even going to talk about picture hanging or no picture hanging. All I know is that if you truly accepted that child, by now you should have accompanied your husband on any of his visits, preferably with his step siblings. So it's obvious you don't like the boy so I think he is better off not having his picture on your stupid wall. You married someone's father but you want to wish him away like a bad omen. Like the the first anon said, he is the first son of that family, yes!! that your same family that you think you can exclude him from by not putting up his picture and at the appointed time he will take his place. The earlier you deal with it, the better for you.

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    Replies
    1. Na bad woman, i believe she wouldn't want to have the the boy nder the same roof with her. Ordinary to hang picture, see her claiming ownership of the house.

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  46. i dont think the poster is a wicked person sdk. haba lets not even bring jealousy into this matter. the mother doesnt want him to be a part of my family why should i come and be hanging his pix in my house? Look the woman isnt threatened by the child nor his mother. i bet the boys mother wont even want her sons pix to be hung in that house. so what are we all saying? abeg y'all should free the woman joor. if he want his sons pix in the house let it be in his wardrope where he can stare at it everyday.

    it is ur house and i support you 100%

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    Replies
    1. Who told you the house is yours alone?ekwe,birds of same feather

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  47. some of una for this blog wey dey call her black heart, wicked woman and all sorts na una naim dey carry hot iron burn maids for private part, or carry kids and maid go eatery she go siddon dey watch una dey chop, every body don dey claim saint we be naija we know our level of wickedness and some people on this blog dem more wickeder than the devil, if devil see una wickedness self he dey give una standing ovation abeg make una carry sit rubbish.

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  48. have you considered how your husband feels not having his son in his house? have you thought of how he feels that his son hasnt met his siblings (your children)? it must hurt your husband but common picture you're giving yourself headache! Its high time you become more supportive!

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  49. God bless you Stella, you said it all. Common picture and this woman is behaving like the picture will chew the wall.

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  50. The issue is not the picture, the issue is secrecy. Are you ashamed of having married a divorcee? This is why it is important to truly be at peace with your spouse's history before you tie the knot. I do not think you are a bad person, but I think you have a hangup surrounding divorce and outside children. You married this man so you married his baggage too. Maybe also you feel some type of way because of the ex's statement of not wanting the child around you so subconsciously you do not want a picture of the child around you. Blended families are a reality and as the adults you have to step up to the plate and create a peaceful environment of inclusion for all the children involved. Ask your husband to setup a date, nothing stressful, maybe a sport game or fair for the children and get to meet the ex-wife then. Go in with no hangups and bring your authentic self. The child is going no place soon, neither are your children, you have to find a way to make this work.

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  51. Visitor: hey! Who is this?
    You: (smile) my stepson! Ehe! as I was saying, that material is nice, I really like the design.
    That's how its done ma'am!!!!

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  52. Madam poster...its a freaking picture..so what?is he not your stepson? Abi you are hiding you married a divorcee? Who cares?biko that is the closest this man has to his kid..allow him.. you didnt complain of him being a shitty husband or father to you and your spawns..ordinary picture you say no...so if he wants to hang his mothers picture you will say no because she doesn't live with you.
    You are just being petty

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  53. I don't see the big deal, which question are u afraid to answer. He's ur stepson simple. Everything must Sha enter chronicles. Stay there and be creating imaginary problems

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  54. While you are thinking of your self, think of your husband's happiness too.
    He would wish for his son to be with you all and loves his son. He wants a daily constant reminder of that, by the frame. The house is his father's house and he is the first.

    He didn't get it by cheating ooo. Just a failed marriage.
    I am surprised you have not visited the boy In school with your hubby. And you didnt try create a relationship between your kids and this boy.

    You have been so unfair and selfish.
    I suggest you all snap a pics with your step son, frame and hang in the sitting room.
    Also, show love to this boy pls. It will gladden your husband's heart. And that's the true meaning of love: making sacrifice to make the other partner happy.

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  55. Bad woman. If am your husband, i will have the picture hanged on the wall.
    You can go die if you like.
    Looking for trouble where there's none..

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  56. Madam you are wicked, shame on you.

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  57. Madam, your husband has a right to hang a picture of him and his son in his house.

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  58. Anon 15:03 you are too harsh, Jezz you can give advice without cursing pls learn to control your mouth. The way you respond to this type of issues tells maybe you might be one of this born out of wedlock or you have one at home. Be nice at least.
    Now, to the poster, I understand your point. But because you want to paint your marriage or your husband perfect makes you worry what the world will say or think about your husband or family. Men don’t care when it comes to that issue, do your hear that, they don’t care, as long as is their blood, infact they will like to showcase him to the entire world, but it will affect your relationship with him, you are still his love. For the picture where to hang it, let him hand it on wherever, just explain to people that he had him before he married you which is the truth anyways. Honestly,there won’t be any gossip but they will see you as a good woman and also see your hubby as a godly and responsible man who did not aboundon his first son. Some of the gossipers will try to brainwash you as per the boy being the head boy of the family, but it does not always come out that way because children struggles on their own these days and does not rely on father property. My son said he is not going to live in my hubby house that he is building his own house. Now, he is in overseas and is richer than his father. So let it be ok? You will be fine.

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  59. If you don’t show them now through pictures, the boy will show himself later and people will marvel. Mine was done in the church in the midst of the great congregation.
    Pastor: Anybody worshipping with us for the first time?
    Step son stood up.
    Pastor: Son tell us your name and who invited you?
    Stepson: pointing to me, mummy did
    Pastor: Sister M who is he?
    Me: He is my stepson
    Pastor: Yourrrrrr?
    Me: Stepson!
    Congregation: clapping πŸ‘πŸΏ πŸ‘πŸΏ
    Pastor: come out let’s pray for you.

    Later after church everybody rounded me because I am a public figure in the church and also a choirester, Sister M you did not tell us you have a step son?
    Me: No vex, we have not discussed anything that leds to that. He had him before he married me.
    Church members: waooo!!!

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  60. It's funny how selfish and hypocritical we humans can be. Reading your story, I actually thought I was reading my story until I got to the picture part.

    I have a stepson whom my husband had from a previous marriage. He stays with his mom in the States. Whenever he visits Nigeria, he stays with us (like he has a choice, lol) even though he has relatives from his mother's side.

    We Skype and do Whatsapp video call every weekend. As a matter of fact, he enjoys talking to me and his sisters than with his dad. His mom and dad are not exactly on speaking terms but they're wise not to let it spill over to the relationship they have with the boy.

    Before I got married, I had always wanted 3 kids. Luckily, (yes luckily because labour no be beans) I got 'an already born' child from my husband. My husband and I have 2 girls and we don hang our boots. So, if you ask me how many kids I have, my answer is always the same: exactly the number I wanted - 3. A boy and 2 girls!. My kids know they have a brother. My folks know they have a step-grandson. If you're my friend, you'll know I have a step-son.

    Who cares what people will say?
    What's your business with their opinions? The world will talk regardless of.

    It's not like the existence of the boy was sprung on you like that; you've always known about him and should have known what you were getting into when you agreed to marry his father. You should have known you were/are going to have to share your husband and home with the boy.

    Single mothers write in all the time how they can't marry a man who can't love and accept their kids as their own. So why's everyone advising her to do the opposite?

    Poster, if you take these people's advices, you will only succeed in breeding rancour not just between you and your husband but also among the kids (the boy inclusive).
    I'm not asking you to go over and beyond for him as that will be asking for too much but a little love and compromise here and there will be great. Kids have a way of sensing when they are not needed.

    Maybe it's your uncaring attitude that's making your husband hesitant to sue for joint custody of the boy.

    If a picture is making you worry about people's opinions, what now happens when his father decide he wants him to stay for the holidays? You will lock him up in a room so those people you're trying so hard to please won't know your husband has an 'unholy child' (whatever that means!).

    Ask God to give you a contrite heart and endeavour to change your mindset because your type of wife and mother breeds hatred and rivalry among people and children.

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  61. Madam step mum....why do you allow them say" dictates what happens in your home?

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  62. Madam please allow ur husband hang his son photo d boy is still ur son just accepts him, he own d house I know is not easy let him hang it.

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  63. Stella I love you oooo, anytime I visit Germany I will love to see you face to face cos you are a sweet soul,this reply here made me love you more.
    poster that house belong to you, your husband, his son & your own children who are also his children, so you have no right to say his picture won't be in the house but your own will hung ain't you very selfish?

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  64. That’s his dad’s house u witch!! Picture is ur problem.. is step son a strange thing that people have not heard of before? Use your upper befor u chase your husband to his ex

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