Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: When A Compliment Crosses The Line....

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Tuesday, March 12, 2019

When A Compliment Crosses The Line....

At what point does a compliment become Offensive?






90 comments:

  1. Shes very stupid oh.
    Was that an insult?

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    Replies
    1. You shouldn't compliment your interviewer's appearance or smell. Focus on the purpose of the meeting

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    2. He said it as if she's not s'pos to smell good. What an international insult

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    3. Haba he probably wanted to mk u feel nice. Oh no this was a good compliment now. But on d other hand not Professional.

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    4. This lady has been disappointed by men a lot! She is bruised , so no matter what anyone she feels is under her tell her. It’s rude

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    5. The guy crossed the line big time. And he wants a job. What's wrong with people of today,please no your work ethics it's like telling your boss he or she smells nice. They are not your friends in any way. Such compliments should go to people you no.

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    6. Anon 14:23 there is nothing wrong with telling your boss you smell nice

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    7. Its no biggie jor.
      Shey na hunger dey make people reason anyhow? Smh.

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    8. I ones told my HRM that her hair beautiful

      I do not see anything wrong with what the guy said, maybe the lady looked mean and he wanted her to calm down by saying such

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    9. Calm her down!!!!! Mehnnnn, this country is wack and people's mindset and lack of professionalism is astounding.
      Feeling your interviewer ' you smell good'....to what purpose? Is that how you tell everyone you pass on the road? Even if, does that seem like the place or the time? Or you're trying to butter her up..cos she's a woman? Would you try that with a man?
      What women go through in the work place sha

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    10. She should have said "under this circumstance, that's very unprofessional", not only is that polite but she would also be teaching him interview etiquette.

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  2. i dont even understand her sef.

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    1. She's a frustrated gweg

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    2. Hahahahahahahahaahahah, frustration is under statement. But officially it is not proper sha.

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  3. Something is wrong with her... The guy was nice, it was just a compliment... Which the guy is not searching for a job, she won't say that... And is not everyone that is nice to you, wants to date you...

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    1. There's nothing wrong with her....what the guy did was not correct. What was his purpose for even telling her that she's smelling nice. As unto her colleague at work or what??
      This is an official interview for God's sake.

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  4. First of all, that interviewer is an olodo. Madam I too Know. She needs to go get more educated on the of adjectives. The compliment may have been inappropriate yes but definitely not RUDE. What does she think rude means. Lmao. These interviewers be feeling like gods. If you check well, her salary fit no pass 100k o and she's carrying pride on her head like gele. Ode

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    1. That salary part is very annoying. small kids becos them don dey placed. Aside her response, the guy was wrong sha

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  5. I love the way she disgraced him. Mannerless idiot.

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    1. No be you again?

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    2. Princess Princess, your comments sometimes though.
      Uhm!!! It is well.

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    3. The hot sun is worrying this one. Madam drink chilled water. It is well

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  6. They say the guy shouldn't have said that because it's unprofessional.

    I think the lady overreacted and she's full of pride.

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    1. I believe he was just unprofessional not rude

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    2. Yea, Unprofessional is the word.

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    3. How is she full of pride? Because she refused to entertain him? And his silly compliments?
      No wonder most of you, your Male colleagues have no respect or regard for you because of things you have let them get away win in the past

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  7. Na so (foolish Naija) men dey carry begin office fork o.
    If them employ that kin brat, na so e go dey tell everything wey wear skirt enter that office
    say them smell nice, them hair dey nice, them nyansh dey shake well bla bla bla.
    Na so im go balloon every belle there from manager to messenger.

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  8. depends on the environment, the compliment-er, the complimentee's mindframe at the time as well as any previous history between both

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  9. Yes....The guys comment is unprofessional.. She's not his date so why commenting about her smell

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    Replies
    1. So it's only your date you can compliment, wetin person no go hear for this life

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  10. Yup, he was out of line.

    It's a job interview not a social gathering so she has every right to feel irritated by such flirtatious compliment and that's your superior/intended boss. would he say the same if it were to be a male interviewer?

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    1. Yup, he definitely was out of line. It’s a corporate space and should understand the pros and cons that come with it. He should have saved the compliment for later when he resumes work then let her know in between conversations. He was forward and could be perceived to be indirectly trying to shoot a shot that might Favour his employment.

      He fucked up big time.

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    2. Thank you! Someone finally gets it!!!

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  11. It was an insult on 2 counts. 1) He was there for an official interview. It was out of order to get fresh
    2) Your perfume smells lovely madam is what to say... You smell nice is actually rude and uncouthed to say to someone you are not familiar with. It could be interpreted to mean something else. My opinion though

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    1. Why add madam? Madam as what? Naija pple like to feel like small god. In saner climes, u can get to interview ur new manager, that doesnt mean his life is in ur hands.

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    2. There is no where in the world you won't address your interviewer with a title. Here, you would say ' Ma'am'and she would most likely try to put you at least, by saying 'call me so and so'

      A bit is not a Naija people thing. And yes, there should be respect in the workplace and that statement, even though strictly speaking is still inappropriate but would have been better if he had said that way

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  12. The guy was simply trying to soften the ground so she would remember him because of the compliment he passed. She took it south in Stella's voice.

    HR people always feel like gods.
    Silly of her.
    She simply could have smiled and said "thanks".

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  13. na so some of them dy use bcom mama duke

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  14. The guy was silly. Who makes that kind of statement after an interview? The guy didn't need to say that. Would the guy have said that if a guy was the interviewer?

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    1. You swear you are me!!! lol

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    2. If na man like him e for no talk am oh. If you have ever worked in a serious work environment and have had your brilliance, intelligence , hard work and dedication undermined by men using silly words disgusted as compliments, then you'll know how this lady felt.

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  15. Apparently, she lacks emotional intelligence. Though the compliment was unnecessary in the context of the interview situation, it wouldn’t have taken anything for her to nod/smile and say ‘thank you’.

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    1. Why should she smile and say 'thank you'. I have it when people tell.women to smile. Women don't owe you a shot!

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  16. She too it personal. Aunty get off your high horse, I pay recruiters compliment all the time.i live in London, I have been offered two jobs now and both interviews I complimented them. A simple thank you wouldn't have removed a strand of hair from you mtchewww

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    1. Did you tell them they smell nice?

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    2. Thank you! Naija people like feeling like demi gods ontop small positions. Interviews dont have to be tensed for the applicant. I live in Canada and I was paid a compliment in my first interview. Life is not that hard. If ur interviewer compliments u, it means you've made a good impression. If you complement ur interviewer it may make you memorable.. interview not battleground.

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  17. That complement was all shade of wrong at that time but the lady is so unprofessional. She should have known that, people act weird when they are tensed and the guy might just be doing a lot just because he needed the job. A simple "have a good day sir" or "we will get back to you, please call the next person after you" would have just been okay. It's an interview and you are to mark all his behaviour and utterances on paper not to voice it out to him.

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  18. I think she over reacted. Probably going through a heart break or an ish connected with guys.

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  19. There are some things better left unsaid ...it has happened to me before.. We were in a meeting everybody was there.. Oga just came and..wow sharon I love ur hair..honestly I find it rude,I'm a married woman for crying out loud,people were just looking at me like..hmmmmmmmmπŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ€πŸ€πŸ€πŸ˜―πŸ˜―πŸ˜―πŸ˜ΆπŸ˜ΆπŸ˜ΆπŸ˜ΆπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒπŸ™ƒi just tire.

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    1. How is that rude!?

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    2. Huh? That's a compliment nah. I don't see anything wrong in your boss commenting on your new look.
      Anyway, to each his own!!!

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    3. So because you are married a harmless compliment is what you find rude but you take that same compliment from people on this blog

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    4. Hian so because u are a married woman u cannot receive compliments from other men including ur boss?? Oshey married woman, u dis sharon enh it's been long I realized that u really gat no sense

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    5. Nnem it's just a compliment.

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    6. Married woman oooooooo
      We women ehn! I love ur hair doesnt mean he wants to sleep with u madam. Maybe u never look that good and the man was surprised. U cant cope in the abroad o. Oyinbo pple get surprised everytime I change my hairstyle cos they always have same hairstyle so they will always notice when u do something different. Life is not that hard, tie scarf next time aunty.

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    7. Lols...so when it now became constant it not rude?me,I find it rude,wrong and unprofessional to always compliment whatever I'm wearing all the time,my hair,clothes, style, legs,etc... So anon14:14,if u have any sense at all u will know it wrong.

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    8. Lol.
      Sharon my sister, calm down jor.Life is not dat difficult

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    9. Everybody just shouting Oyibo Oyibo...We have a culture and saying some things in Nigeria can be taken out of context yet means nothing in other climes. When you are in Rome behave like the Romans.
      The guy was unprofessional and the lady’s blood is too hot and yes Nigerians are always on the defensive, everybody’s blood is hot. “Sorry” has replaced excuse me, please, thank you; because you don’t know the current state of the next person.
      Even in Canada you don’t ask someone “how was your night” but Nigerians see it as a normal thing so leave Martha for Mathias.
      Behave Based on your environment and not acting like Mogli

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  20. It may not be appropriate since he came for an interview but definitely not rude,she could have said not appropriate as at such moment but not rude...but it's really not a big deal since d interview was over and he may feel giving a compliment may lighten her mood ,a smile and thank you wouldn't hurt

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  21. See her mouth like rabbit mouth. Ugly girls are bitter by default. simple compliment, she took it overboard.

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  22. It was just a compliment. She blew it out of proportion. No need to insult the guy.

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  23. Over sabi boss.. This one won't allow to breath in the office. How's that an insult.

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  24. To someone with great humor, it's no big deal

    You can compliment my outfit, look or smell
    But when you start complimenting my shape when you are not my hubby kinda offensive....

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  25. I know Nigerians will react...it is wrong and you dare not say that nonsense abroad

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  26. Nice complement but wrong timing. If the interviewee was of same gender, better. This alone can kill your chance of ever getting the job

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  27. I think she overreacted.

    Also the guy did not suppose to say that.

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  28. She "overly" over reacted mbok!!

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  29. I love/like your perfume would have sounded less inappropriate... You smell nice just sounds off.

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  30. Some people are really dumb, it is so unprofessional to say that to an interview uv just met, he may not get the job bcos he may keep harassing female colleagues with silly compliments like that. Go read career planning or research on google

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  31. She overreacted biko! where i work now, when i came for the interview i complemented the female manager that interviewed me and it was no biggie . p.s i am female

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    Replies
    1. Female to female doesn’t seem odd.
      I think the right word in this scenario is INAPPROPRIATE not rude

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    2. Yeah. Inappropriate.
      Her last sentence feels like she assumed he was trying to flirt with her.. hence the word "manners"... All she had to say was "it's inappropriate" so he knows better.. What if he said her office smells nice would he still sound rude to her..

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  32. Tomorrow you will say you were not called back for the job. What's your business with how she smells? You just invaded her privacy/space from nowhere. Yes! Do you have any relationship with her? It's embarrassing, if you ask me. If it was a guy, fine. You thought flirting with her will guarantee employment right?

    Infact, if he could boldly say this at an interview, imagine what he'll do as an employee. Unless this company produces perfumes, you have no business asking such.

    Obviously he doesn't need the job. Next.

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    Replies
    1. How does you smell nice translate to flirting, your head is just so messed up for you to have thought otherwise from that statement. What dirty privacy and space,just be using English you have no understanding of

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  33. Given the context, he cfossed the line.

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  34. As far it was said after the interview, I don't see anything wrong with what he said. He might have said those words to break the ice or just to be friendly. she overreacted abeg

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  35. You have to study the environment you are in before you start acting anyhow.

    Study the environment you are in before dishing out compliment. A man telling a woman you smell nice during/after an interview can be seen as inappropriate.

    You came there for an interview and not to network. You can pay compliment like...I like your suit especially if you are nervous and at loss for words.

    Forget about compliment like...you are beautiful, you smell nice.

    It is not rude, it is just inappropriate and not the right setting.

    You can tell someone, you smell nice...what perfume are you wearing ONLY if you are interviewing for a perfume company as a sales/marketing person.

    If you work in some organizations, you will understand that some 'compliment' and 'actions' can be seen as inappropriate or sexual harassment but you may see it as normal yarns. That is why you should always study the environment you are in, study your workplace, client e.t.c. Don't just assume anything goes.

    If you falter because your nerves were a wreck during an interview and you said something you should not have, apologize profusely.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

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    1. Abeg shut up.. na interview, no be judgement.. always trying to sound smart..check out the thread on twitter.. everything is not tighting chest..

      Stella.. no swallow biko

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  36. We are all wired differently, some have shorter fuses than others. There's also something known as etiquette as well as tact or diplomacy. Not many people know the right way to address certain issues. Another factor to consider is a person's mood. A person who is ordinarily courteous may be brash and dismissive if caught in a bad or foul mood.

    I can only judge by my standards and say she could have handled that situation better. Personally, I wouldn't take offence, I would see it as an applicant trying hard to make sure he puts his best foot forward and trying to butter me up with a compliment to raise his chances of getting the job. If he had complimented her figure or facial structure, perhaps that would have been inappropriate.

    The lady in question may be one of those firebrand ladies who see almost anything a man does or says as offensive, even a seemingly harmless compliment. She may as well have felt he should have kept things strictly professional. Who knows what she was thinking?

    However, what makes me view her approach as suspect, is the need to share with the world what ordinarily should have been harmless gossips amongst friends, if at all. It appears she wants to the world to know she's a no nonsense chic who wouldn't think twice about putting a man in his place. Almost like she feels the need to prove herself. I may be wrong though.

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    1. You're not wrong at all..
      It's a compliment.. if she was put off for a wrong reason, the appropriate adjective to qualify it would've been used.. after all she's the "smarter" one among them.. aunty just embarrassed somebody's child to score cheap points..
      .. Stella please don't swallow

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  37. her smell was the only nice thing about her. I can imagine the struggle he went through looking for something nice to say to her.

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