Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Friday, April 19, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmmmmm...................








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE:
EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE HUSBAND


Dear Stella,

I have been a die hard fan of your Column longer than I have been married way back from your encomium days .Your blog is one of the sane activities of my day and life ATM. Pls post without my email or name . I introduced DH to your blog and he will probably sense it’s me from reading this

I don’t know what I feel again other than this total emptiness and helplessness. The result of our 7th attempt at IVF is negative and all I have been able to do is cry with so much pain and despair.

I feel all alone in the whole world and I have started contemplating ending it all( whatever that means and in what way I don’t even know)I am married to a guy that is completely deficient in terms of emotions as in Zero skills, he used to make a bit of effort but over the years he just stopped trying . 


He makes all the money in his family so there’s no body that can even speak to him as they feed off him.The only time he shows a bit of anything is outside our home which gives people the impression that I have the most caring husband when he doesn’t care about anything but himself and making money. Don’t get me wrong he provides financially but that alone is not enough as he also gets very controlling with his money so you must even be at your best behaviour and in his good books to get money from him


As little as him saying sorry those times I break down, a warm embrace or some reassurances that all will be well from him will go a long way but all he does is just ignore me and at times barks out a get a grip warning . I feel like I am loosing myself


I don’t know what else to do....... I can’t focus, I can’t sleep am a nervous and total emotional wreck.

Please help me post this.......I am spiralling out of control and on some heavy anti depressants at the moment:::
Thank you




*Dear DH,if you read this and sense that it is indeed your wife,it is time to do the home run before it is too late.....With the rate of suicide going on now,you should take this serious.

I am presently in a cold sweat from shock every time i hear someone says they want to end it all.
Oga its time to bring your love home!...I dont know what else to say,you cannot be a member of this Blog and not do anything about this...we hear stories here all the time that should serve as life coach to us all.....

116 comments:

  1. Just copy and paste this link below in your browser πŸ‘‡ and vote for Tante Stella. It's very quick and easy to vote.

    https://couponcode.ng/awards/african-female-bloggers-award-2019/

    Vote for SDK. We are NOW AT 63%...Let's HIT 70%. Vote for the winning team!

    Borrow your Boo's, Bae's, your neighbours phone and vote, whether in your work place, or in your yard. Tell a friend to tell a friend.

    We have less than 10 hours to go now. Voting ends at 12 noon, Saturday 20th April 2019.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just did. Stella is winning though with about 64% of the votes. The closest person has 30%. I hope this election will not be rigged oh!!!!

      Delete
    2. Poster please take it easy. I understand you, but most Man when children are not in the picture they will be acting somehow. As you said he has money, you guys should check the option of adoption or surrogate. Cheer up , it will surely end in praise.

      Delete
    3. Madam,your husband is feeling same way you are feeling. He should pamper you? Who will pamper him. He loves you and know the best way to make that marriage a happy one is when there is a child that is why he's bringing all that money for IVF.

      I think you should have a heart to heart talk with him if you've not done that.

      Oga please we need a reply from you.

      Delete
    4. Just casted my vote, we're at 65%...I saw some are still at zeroπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    5. Now to your IVF. Have you asked your doctor why it failed? If you're still using same doctor,you should change to another.

      I understand how you feel. It is going to be fine

      Delete
    6. I just voted for my one and only sdk and it feels good.

      Delete
    7. Lafresh is a cold stone. Where is your warmth and soothing words to a hurting woman? You just want to hear from the other side for ur entertainment? Haba

      Poster i feel you. Pick up ur rosary if u are a Catholic or even if u are not. Its highly therapeutic and gives you clearity in perspectives you hv never thought of.
      God bless you.

      Delete
    8. Mummy find another way to communicate to God. Mummy if u have been doing MFM, try another method, Mummy God steps in most times when we r almost breathless literally. Mummy your babies r in the making, don’t lose hope, u Will b called a MUMMY soon

      Delete
    9. @ Saphire, Lafresh replied the poster like a man. When a man hears about a problem he thinks about solution first. For women, we empathize before solution. I agree with Lafresh Let her have a heart to heart talk with the husband. Most importantly, focus your attention on God @ Poster. God knows what you are going through, He will do it at his own time. Be rest assured, all things worketh together for good.

      Delete
    10. Believe me when I tell you she has spoken to him,any attempt to talk further would frustrate her.He has so much Ego as the ‘messiah’ of people around him.Even them can’t state his wrong to him.This is an advise a woman who sought a child for 11years gave.
      1Stop all attempt so far IVF etc it is adding more stress to your mind.Take a break and find yourself
      2.Go spiritual,don’t go religious jumping from one church to another.Before you added more to your current worries.Reassure yourself once in awhile with words like “God you are still on the throne”
      3.Detox your mind,body and soul.These are the elements of your existence and you have succeeded in destroying all three.Your mind(by seeking empathy from your husband which is fine but sister self love is key).your body(depressants) and your soul( suicide)
      We are to go into the world and multiple but never did the Bible say children are for marriage though they are a blessing and add more joy but the primary purpose is that you are not alone.I am sorry to say you are alone.
      Now that you are alone please take this time to re-evaluate yourself like someone alone (not that you would start misbehaving ohhh!)Discover what makes you happy,have a life outside been a wife and a to be mother,that is not all you were put in this world to be!You are a sister,friend,a leader, a woman(in the world where been born a woman requires superpowers) and most importantly a survivor that has a story to be told.
      I did not write this epistle for you to go back to those drugs and wait for your husbands sympathy and care.Pick yourself up and dust your pants.You are a woman and there is no space to show weakness or to be bothered.
      PS I love you and await you success story.

      Delete
  2. Woman ndo oo
    Brace up and take heart, you will overcome.
    I have to mention here that a lot of ladies make this mistake of thinking that money can provide everything... It is a big lie. Money cannot provide children, it cannot raise the dead. Money cannot give life or eternal life. Only God can.
    Now that you have tried using money/technology to conceive and they failed seven times, it is time to seek God. "For they that trust in the arm of the flesh, it shall surely fail them" (google it).
    Seek God in praying/fasting/studying the word of God. Learn to go to a solitary place (like a safe church building) to pray and empty your heart to God. You will find a lot of peace and reassurances that you crave for doing that.
    Na so life be o. If you no seek God but come dey think say money go give you happiness, you lie and "ending it all" no be the end o. As hell dey burn well well for the other side of eternity.
    E go well madam inugo?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who tell you sa she nor dey seek God face. If you have said now that money and technology have failed you, just keep praying it will be better. For your mind she nor dey pray since, she just dey sitdon look. Weda natural or assisted children are from God. What is faith without work anyway.

      Delete
    2. 15:45
      She did not tell us that she "has been seeking God"; did she?
      Please, the word says "by your words you will be acquitted and by your words
      you will be condemned(google it). I don't assume but write from what the poster tells us.
      And you wey sabi say she dey seek God tey tey, you be Angelina abi winch?
      Ajuju n' ese okwu? 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

      Delete
  3. If you "end it all", that your horseband will marry another woman sharp sharp.
    Open up and tell him how you feel and don't bottle everything up.
    And check if he has a particular circle of secretive friends tied to his business dealings ...it could be the signs of some cultism which is inimical to having offspring. That was the case with my friend who was a nurse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmm you have a point

      Delete
    2. Madam pls look into surrogacy or adoption since you have the funds.
      Your husband may not be emotionally available because he may be unhappy also. We women often think it's only women that hurt when TTC . For you to have tried IVF 7 times means you have been married for a while.
      Your husband doesn't seem like a bad person. He must love you to be willing totry IVF 7times. He's also a good provider and isn't abusive.
      Children may be the reason he is not connected to the home.
      PLS DO NOT leave your marriage. Work through it together. together. You also need some form of therapy. Why not see a psycologist?
      I wish you well. Pls poster look into surrogacy. You may never know when you are happy and more grounded your 2nd born can come naturally.

      Delete
    3. Don't know why Ayam shook by your comment 15:14.

      Delete
  4. Yaba left escapee19 April 2019 at 15:19

    7th IVF? hmm... did u know environmental factors & a healthy mindset also plays a major role in fertilization, negative thoughts are often the root cause of a fear-based stress response....
    Right now your home has failed to be your safe haven, the blanket you hoped for after marriage has been nothing but wet, you need a break, a break to breathe... not seperation or divorce, but a vacation on a remote island, just you, white sands & coconut.
    Your husband will not become caring & romantic ever, & it'd remain same when a child comes into that house, you'd most likely do the heavy lifting in the parenting, all he'd do is assist financially, so while ure vacating in Greece or San tropez, you need to do serious soul searching, & think of whats best for you & the unborn baby.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am not in her situation but I think I need them white sands and coconuts too. Life can be so stressful at times.

      Delete
  5. 7th IVF....Your husband is a good man.I can't blame him probably he's depressed too..All you need to do is pray or free him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're wicked....stupid comment

      Delete
    2. This comment is the most senseless comment EVER! So he's a good man because she has gone through 7 failed IVF circle? I don't even know what to tell you.🀦

      Delete
    3. Hes a good man because he didnt stop fighting with her to get a child.
      Hes a good man because he is patient.
      Hes a good man because hes willing to spend so much on IVF to make her happy again.
      Hes a good man because she sees him as a stingy man, but yet he brings out money for IVF.

      Delete
    4. Anyways that's my own opinion...Some men can't endured 2 IVF before they try their luck else where....We are talking about time and money here.. Sentiment apart her husband is not a bad person

      Delete
    5. Anon 16:22 don't mind those above anons.. They would have supported u if u came and started bashing the man.. Or at least that seems to be the m.o. of most of the ladies that comment on this blog.. Men are just useless shaa men are cheats men are broke men are rich but emotionally unavailable men are..na wa All these pained women should go and become lesbians adopt children and leave men alone
      chai

      Delete
    6. Yes....he is a good man, a very patient one at that, how many men will willingly pay over 7million naira? How many? He's feeling same way his wife is feeling, its not fucking easy n some men have a way of dealing with stress, cut him some slack, he needs pampering too.

      Delete
    7. YES HE IS A Fucking GOOD MAN.
      Not every man is willing to go through that route 7times. Do you know the millions one round is.
      He must also be very willing to fight with her and find solution.

      Delete
    8. Sapphire has a point. Some women can be emotionally demanding. Men too needs care.

      I'm sure she has never asked him how he feels anytime they get a negative PT. The man might be depressed.

      Delete
    9. Sapphire just use hypo and bleach your brain a little
      You sound so myopic

      Delete
    10. Don't mind them. They seem to be blaming the woman for the infertility. I'm not saying that the husband is a bad man, but, please, he's not doing the wife a favour. I'll like you all to know that the woman bears the major burden of IVF treatment. You can't understand the emotional and physical toll if you've not experienced it. I shuddered when I read about her number of failed treatments. My husband and I stopped after two failed attempts. I become sad if suggestions for further tries are made by concerned people.
      Please, I will not kill myself because of infertility. .
      Dear poster, I pray that God will direct you aright.
      You've got to live your life and fully too, no matter what. I hope you earn an income. About time you became financially independent. Do the things that make you happy..

      Delete
    11. Finally someone who understands.

      IVF is no joke for the woman. there are daily injections for months. demeaning uncomfortable examinations. painful investigations.

      All the man does is masturbate when the time comes. 7 million naira my foot.

      Dearly beloved Poster,it is terrible that your husband is failing you at this time.Is this really who you want to father your children?can he support you through future tribulations?

      Wish i could give you a hug.

      Delete
    12. From her write up he has never been a romantic man so what do you expect from him madam. Change your mindset and stop waiting on his unavailable pampering. You chose this man and I think it's time for you to do you. What makes you happy dear? Go and do such things and if possible take a vacation abroad or to a resort to cool your head. You can also adopt and allow your body rest. 7 IVF is a lot.....allow yourself some slack. Ehugs dear

      Delete
  6. I don't how you feel what you feel, but please stay calm and think less if your situation.
    May the power of resurrection from God Almighty visit you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand yo very well poster because i have been in your situation before tho my own hubby is supportive. The best thing is to relax yourself and dont build your happiness on anybody. Children or no children please live your life and be happy, you can even adopt. Upon all my waiting God answered me when i least expect. E hug dear and always remember that you are more valuable than you think.

      Delete
    2. Poster, you need to find peace, love yourself, occupy your mind and be calm!
      Be happy and every other thing will fall into place.
      I will want you to read this blog, Marc & Angel; they are motivational speakers and I've seen positive results in my life ever since I've been reading from them!

      Delete
    3. Poster how do you and your husband feel about adoption or surrogacy?

      Delete
  7. Please oga , go back home give your woman the love she deserves,not showing ur self to the world as a good man,ur wife needs you okay, madam if ivf failed you God has not , children will run round your table in Jesus name.

    ReplyDelete
  8. My dear please know that your husband too is going through emotional stress too. Seven ivf trails is not moi moi financially and emotionally for him too. Please put yourself together. If you take your own life. What will you gain. Everything will end in praise. When the going gets tough. The tough gets going. Hold on to faith. Keep your hopes alive. Your mum gave birth to you. You will give birth to your own children. Congratulations in advance dear.
    Its my birthday today. God l thank you so much for everything. May this new year grant me every of my positive heart desires. Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Have you actually tried talking to him? You didn't really mention communication. Some manners of upbringing actually encourage males to be hard and show less emotions.
    Have you considered adoption and surrogacy perhaps? While you keep trying of course if you want to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Betty you are a very smart woman. You women don't know we men experience stress too, we don't just know how to let it out. Your husband's behavior outside is his real character. Am in the posters shoe in a way but not directly. I wish women can understand us better. We are humans too. I wish I can type more, am not good with typing too much.

      Delete
    2. At anon 18:36, so u show the outside world that u are caring and romantic while you neglect the one person that needs all dat from you? Please change Biko

      Delete
  10. Standing here not knowing how we'll get through this test
    But holding unto faith You know that
    Nothing can catch You by surprise
    You got this figured out and You're watching us now
    But when it looks as if we can't win
    You wrap us in Your arm and step in
    And everything we need You supply
    You got this in control
    And now we know that

    You made a way
    When our backs were against the wall
    And it looked as if it was over
    You made a way

    this is all that came to my mind after reading ur post. I hope it minister's to you. Slalom!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it gave me happy tears, am not the poster.am gtc too

      Delete
    2. It seems like poster is afraid of her husband. Perhaps he is the stubborn bossy type. In times like this, couples need to come close together and support each other emotionally, physically, spiritually and in any way that matters. Together they stand......

      Delete
    3. Anon 16:15. hold on , God is well able!

      Delete
  11. So sorry to know what you are passing through. The answer is not ending it all as the devil might be suggesting to you. First and foremost get a grip on your self,remove your eyes from your husband no earthly comfort can suffice for you. It's only God make your relationship robust with him. Cast your self on him he is well able to restore your joy. Am a living witness. I bet you no matter how low you have descended he can pick you up and show you perfect love. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oga if you see this as Stella said please do the needful. But I think there are men like that who don't just know how to show affection towards their wives. I don't know what attracted them to their wives in the first place or could it be that they feel they didn't make the right marrying the person. I know someone like that and I have been curious to know why but seeing your chronicle I believe there are just husbands like that

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm very sorry that you're going through this.
    It's really shitty going through stuff like this with a spouse who can't even hold you while you cry, you feel all alone in this world. I've found that when everyone else fails, when it feels like grief will consume you, you can talk to God like he's your spouse and it takes some of the pain away. If you have a trusted and caring family member or friend, talk to them. For me, it is my mum who talks me through when I'm hurting like that. It's not easy but try find activities to take up a good amount of your time so you are not thinking often.
    Most women in your shoes resort to adultery just so they can ease the pain and maintain their sanity but i would not advice that because it comes with its own issues
    Also you should maybe take a little break from IVF so your emotions can rest, the hormonal shots alone can make one go crazy. Perhaps your husband's money can afford to get you guys a gestational carrier or help adopt a couple of kids.
    My heart really goes out to you and I hope you find peace, comfort and a miracle.

    ReplyDelete
  14. you cant be a bv and still b a stupid husband na. no its not ordinary, something is wrong with that hubby of yours. you need to take some time off. stop trying to concieve at the moment,get a grip of your sef, you need to be happy and emotionally stable first before bringing a child into this world. make no mistake thinking a child will make him change.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So because hes not displaying Romeo & Juliet love, that makes him stupid?
      If the man is not showing love, is she showing him love? You think its easy to love a depressed person that dont even love herself?
      From what she said he has always been like that but got worse.

      Delete
    2. biko shut up! don't allow d man unleash anger on her tonight, if u can't advice, waka pass, Stella pls post it d way u posted d insult to d husband

      Delete
    3. But why would you call someone’s husband stupid. The man may be going through his own grief besides there’s always two sides to a story.

      Delete
    4. Stupid husband ? Very insensitive comment. You could actually keep quiet you know, rather than type something 'stupid'.

      Delete
  15. Dear poser,
    I feel so sorry about your present situation but I beg you to hold on too. Your husband seems like a good man who is also depressed with the fertility challenges. I beg you, have you tried donor egg or the other to improve your chances? Talk to your gynaecologist. I wish you better luck in the next procedure. Everything will be fine, it is just a matter of time.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I think ur depression stems from the childlessness. Pls try surrogacy, its ur egg and ur husband's sperm,the other woman is just a carrier. Most fertility hospitals can do it. Its ur DNA and ur husband's. Stop killing urself when there's money. Also pray or try mfm,some of our husbands na ogboni and cults dey do us join.

    ReplyDelete
  17. How about separate from this man for some time and figure out your life! What’s wrong with our women for goodness sake?!???!!! If you end it all today, you’ll be the one to lose out as he’ll move on with his life and get another woman. I’m sure your hormones are probably out of wack due to stress you’ve created on yourself. How will pregnancy stay? You’re in a loveless marriage, on anti depressant and you expect IVF to be successful?? Ok you’ve been in this situation for a while now, what’s next after this chronicle?? Madam take charge of your life and your health first! Your last worry right now shd be your husband’s attitude. It’s all about you first. It’s easier said than done but you need to start from somewhere. Get off anti depressants slowly by detoxing first then begin to reduce the dosage with the help of your DR. See a therapist, commit everything to God even if you can’t pray as I know it’s hard sometimes to pray when people are depressed. Get 5htp instead if you can once you’re off antidepressant completely. 5htp mimics antidepressant meds but it’s natural. Check amazon and get a good brand. Cut down drastically on carbs, lots of water, more veggies (possible raw) and take folate and women’s vitamin to help reset your hormones! Start walking or working out so you can sweat! It helps reduce depressed mood, in addition to other benefits. Focus on you and your health first, and not husband’s who’s not emotionally available. Once you start feeling good and better about yourself, I promise you things will start falling into place, including your marriage. But get out of that house for now for your mental sanity!!! And stop relying completely on your man financially!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Evidently, you have 2 problems. TTC and emotionally unavailable husband.

    Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps, your husband feels same way you feel - tired of failed Ivf, time and money spent, emotional stress, depressed and on the verge of "ending it all." You mentioned he used to be better but changed over the years. Care to find out what went wrong?

    You see, sometimes we get lost in our feelings that we fail to care what the other person is feeling.

    This affects the both of you; so one person has to take the step and open the communication line for both of you sake. Don't wait until he does. If he isn't forthcoming, do it.

    All the best!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Please take ending it all out of your mind cos that will solve nothing. At this juncture, please empty your heart before God and seek as reassurance from him, let your mind be at peace, all will be well.

    Oga, please show your wife the love you once had for her and let her mind be at rest. It is well with your home.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Pls be strong I can't imagine what you re passing through,God loves you,pls be positive n let ur mind be at rest,try a short vacation and that will help you,let your husband know how you feel but if no changes don't distrub yourself,don't ever think about taking your life, Jesus loves you and you will be mother of children amen

    ReplyDelete
  21. Whatever you decide to do. Take a break from all these worries and give yourself a well deserved treat. Love yourself more, create your own happiness.Be available for yourself. Wait for no man. I wish you all the best.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Standing on the promises of my king. Do you know that song. It is SS&S don't know. But if you have the songs of book sing it.

    It is well with you and your darling husbandn

    ReplyDelete
  23. I wanted to read and pass as usual, but I touched by your story.
    Let's be practical.
    Sorry for all you are going through. Ending it will be a waste, don't you think?
    You need to go on a vacation alone!! You need to rediscover yourself and your self worth again.
    You are compunding your stress by worrying about your husband not giving you that warmth you seek.
    Stop!! Stop expecting such things you know he is incapable of since he has shown you what stuff he's made of, lest you die before your time.
    1-7 ivf failures is quite so much and I feel your pain. But there is light at the end of a tunnel.
    Your situation is not hopeless, why not try surrogacy since money is not your issue.
    You see, if that you tried surrogacy within these 7 attempts, I am 90% sure you would have had your testimonies a long time now.
    You see,I have come to realise that if you fail at something more than 2 times, kindly change the approach/tactic and try again.Not changing the goal.
    So stop contemplating suicide, your situation is not hopeless and please always take care of yourself selfishly .
    As for your husband, I believe he is depressed though that is not an excuse for a bad behaviour. Whatever happened to communication?
    You will be fine. Take your time to heal, then try surrogacy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish the poster takes note of your comment and acts on it. You will be fine dear

      Delete
  24. I will look up to the mountains, were does my help comes from my help cometh from the LORD who made heaven and earth, you see dear they a times in and some conditions you find yourself that no man except God Almighty can help. I will advise you hold unto him, read and meditate on the Holy book, and talk to him like daughter to father .believe me you will SMILE at last. God is God.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Your husband too is depressed. He is carrying load but not showing it. You havent said he is a bad husband or a cheat etc.

    Find a way to talk to him and you both need to know how the other feels after 7 ivfs.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Sis I perfectly understand your plight cos I have been there before before! I had 9 failed IVF and 3 failed ones with 3 different Surrogates. I already shared my story when Stella talked about Endometriosis issue few weeks back.

    We lost ALL hope. Hubby was indifferent too emotionally. But the truth is Men are not as expressive u emotions as we women are. I got involved in church activities, went back to sch for my Masters and became so busy with myself just to get distracted.

    By divine providence, we came across a Priest who suggested our bringing home a baby to nurture while we keep waiting on the Lord. I fought against this because I thought adoption confirms my worst fear of losing all hope!

    The Holy Spirit gave us PEACE, we carried both Parents along of our plans and they gave consent and blessing. This was in our 9th year of Marriage. We welcomed our amazing bundle of joy home - a 10 days old baby girl. Sis, our joy knew no bound! This singular act of faith changed everything positively for us! My daughters presence filled every known void and emptiness childlessness caused in my life.

    PART ONE

    ReplyDelete
  27. PART TWO

    When my daughter was 3 years old, we contemplated going for a brother for her. We have actually applied in a Home when I ran into a friend who just started the ketogenic lifestyle. I was impressed on her success story as she had lost quite alot of pounds with the lifestyle change.

    She linked me up to her WhatsApp Ketogenic Group chat and I joined them. My only motive for joining was to trim down as fertility drugs had actually made me add some weight.

    7 Weeks into the Lifestyle change, I lost almost 6 kg and was so happy with my new look. But then the unimaginable happened! I missed my period! I cried because even though I have already given up on having my own biological child, I also dreaded Menopause and all associated symptoms. Then I was 40 years old and 14 years old in Marriage.

    With Malaria symptoms weighing me down few weeks later, I went to our General clinic to run some test. I met a new Doc on seat who knew nothing about my fertility history. She wrote Malaria Parasite Test along side with Pregnancy Test. I laughed when I saw the Lab Test Paper. If only she knew I had just entered Menopause at age 40!


    When my y test result came out, I WAS PREGNANT!!!! ME???? PREGNANT????? HOW???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. C9nfrats ronalda

      Delete
    2. 20:42 Stop being such an ITK. If indeed she is the one, she would have used her name if she wanted to be identified as the one. Enjoy the testimony and stop trying to distract from it.

      Delete
  28. PART 3

    When my Pregnancy test result came out, I WAS PREGNANT!!!! ME???? PREGNANT????? HOW???


    Coincidentally,  that was when we had the 100 Baby prophecy in the Blog. I called Stella then on phone to tell her but I didnt go into details! I was sure it was a chemical pregnancy and one day I may be told one ugly story or the other! But God was MERCIFUL INDEED! I ran to my Gyneacologist and he recommended Cyglogest pessary which I inserted in my Vagina from that day till 13 Weeks. I had a Cerclage procedure to tie the mouth of my Womb . I had a hitch free pregnancy to Gods glory and we were blessed with another adorable baby girl!!!!


    With my Ketogenic diet knowledge,  I now naturally cut down on my carbohydrate intake and was able to snap back to my pre-pregnancy weight and shape.

    Do you know Our Good Lord wasn't done with me yet! Despite having irregular menses after the birth of my daughter, I confirmed another pregnancy last quarter of 2018! I'm currently in my last Trimester to Gods own glory! No I don't know babys sex yet as I'm not sure what my reaction will be whatever the sex! It's been an amazing pregnancy journey so far and I know that He who started this good work will bring it to a perfect end in Jesus Name-Amen!!!


    So I want to encourage you out there. I can now authoritatively tell you that sugar isn't good for anyone with endometriosis or anyone fighting infertility. The Lord showed up for me when I consciously made efforts to cut down on sugar and carbohydrates.

    Also, I believe to a very large extent that the presence of my first daughter doused all tension in my life and in my Home! Her presence filled every known void of the pang of childlessness! I have tasted both now- my verdict- THERE IS LITTLE OR NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BIOLOGICAL OR AN ADOPTED CHILD ! The only difference is the disfigured tummy . Outside that, both children are gifts from God. It's not about who gave birth to; it's about who nurtured! Otherwise how do we explain the sad mystery behind all these Kidnappers, Armed Robbers etc. Wrrent they given birth to by their biological Parents and yet they ended up the way they did. While you sort medical advise, please consider bringing home a baby and showing love while you wait on the Lord. Your life wont be the same again once you hold that baby in your arms! And ofcourse children has a way of calling forth their siblings.

    May our Merciful Father show up for you like He did to me in Jesus Name-Amen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh my goodness, this brought tears to my eyes.
      Indeed there is no closed case with God.
      Congrats madam,❤

      Delete
    2. Wow
      I thank God for this great testimony.
      Reminded me of my aunt that was married without a child for years and she adopted a baby girl that was found abandoned.She and her husband took care of the baby like theirs and when the girl was about three years old,my aunt got pregnant and she a boy .

      Delete
    3. Wow!! I have heard of similar testimony in the U.K. I wish we were more open to adoption as Africans. Congratulations to you and God bless your home.

      Delete
    4. This your story really touched me. Thanks for sharing dear. The good Lord will grant you safe delivery.

      Delete
    5. Awesome testimony. God bless you

      Delete
    6. Wow thank God for you.

      God is still in the business of doing miracles.

      Delete
    7. I read your testimony before and read it again happily. I praise God for you. I also believe you have a good heart. I have heard of people who start maltreating adopted children once they get their own biological children.

      Delete
    8. Amen. Thank you for taking out time to share your testimony. God bless you and your family

      Delete
    9. Congratulations.I really thank God for you.Thanks for sharing your testimony. Poster, you will also carry your own baby in Jesus name, Amen

      Delete
  29. Poster please try surrogacy. 7 IVF is a lot of strain on you.If both of you don't mind,you can also adopt. Your home needs a child,it doesn't matter if you bore the child or not because you will love and bring up that child as your.Quit crying and rise above that depression state,it is well with you.Also start exercising and just be happy,very soon everything will fall in place.

    ReplyDelete
  30. PART 3

    When my Pregnancy test result came out, I WAS PREGNANT!!!! ME???? PREGNANT????? HOW???


    Coincidentally,  that was when we had the 100 Baby prophecy in the Blog. I called Stella then on phone to tell her but I didnt go into details! I was sure it was a chemical pregnancy and one day I may be told one ugly story or the other! But God was MERCIFUL INDEED! I ran to my Gyneacologist and he recommended Cyglogest pessary which I inserted in my Vagina from that day till 13 Weeks. I had a Cerclage procedure to tie the mouth of my Womb . I had a hitch free pregnancy to Gods glory and we were blessed with another adorable baby girl!!!!


    With my Ketogenic diet knowledge,  I now naturally cut down on my carbohydrate intake and was able to snap back to my pre-pregnancy weight and shape.

    Do you know Our Good Lord wasn't done with me yet! Despite having irregular menses after the birth of my daughter, I confirmed another pregnancy last quarter of 2018! I'm currently in my last Trimester to Gods own glory! No I don't know babys sex yet as I'm not sure what my reaction will be whatever the sex! It's been an amazing pregnancy journey so far and I know that He who started this good work will bring it to a perfect end in Jesus Name-Amen!!!


    So I want to encourage you out there. I can now authoritatively tell you that sugar isn't good for anyone with endometriosis or anyone fighting infertility. The Lord showed up for me when I consciously made efforts to cut down on sugar and carbohydrates.

    Also, I believe to a very large extent that the presence of my first daughter doused all tension in my life and in my Home! Her presence filled every known void of the pang of childlessness! I have tasted both now- my verdict- THERE IS LITTLE OR NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BIOLOGICAL OR AN ADOPTED CHILD ! The only difference is the disfigured tummy . Outside that, both children are gifts from God. It's not about who gave birth to; it's about who nurtured! Otherwise how do we explain the sad mystery behind all these Kidnappers, Armed Robbers etc. Wrrent they given birth to by their biological Parents and yet they ended up the way they did. While you sort medical advise, please consider bringing home a baby and showing love while you wait on the Lord. Your life wont be the same again once you hold that baby in your arms! And ofcourse children has a way of calling forth their siblings.

    May our Merciful Father show up for you like He did to me in Jesus Name-Amen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen! Poster i have noting to say but read wat is written above..I pray God perfects everytin concerning u!

      Delete
    2. "THERE IS LITTLE OR NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BIOLOGICAL OR AN ADOPTED CHILD ! The only difference is the disfigured tummy"....... lies.

      Delete
    3. Ekwensu, they must always turn up in one comment or the other. 16.55 that's you I'm referring to btw.

      Delete
    4. Leave people to believe what they believe 16:55 don’t be a she devil. Poster I had already thanked God in my heart for you but let me still thank Him here. I wish you safe delivery in Jesus name.

      Delete
  31. Pls madam, you need to come out of the funk you are in, i lost a female inlaw this year who was always miscarrying and the hubby was never available both emotionally and otherwise. She had just had a recent miscarriage & the hubby was no where to be found. She developed hbp as well. It was the hbp that eventually killed her and to this day the hubby family has not contacted the bereaved nor called. He only came once to the inlaws home to cry. Even money for morgue he couldn't provide. Now the girl's family has lost. Save yourself from all the emotional torture cos if you end it all today na your hubby you liberate. E hugs and may you find peace.

    ReplyDelete
  32. TTC is tiring on it own so please don't add stress to it. I understand your pain. Stop expecting him to care or show you support on this journey. Maybe you should give surrogate a try, God might just show up for you. I don't know what you meant by ending it, but do not kill yourself because you don't get the necessary support from your husband. Be grateful to God that you can afford to pay for IVF and all the treatment. Father in the name of jesus visit your daughter and everyone of us looking to you for the fruit of the womb, with men it might be impossible but with you all things are possible. Show up for her this month like you have done for a lot of people on this blog turn her shame and disappointment into testimony, I know you can visit her, me and everyone her at the same time, do it Father and take all the glory in Jesus name Amen. Lord like queen Esther found favor at the sight of her husband, let your daughter find favor, love and support at the sight of her husband in Jesus most precious name i pray Amen. Thank you Father for i know it is done

    ReplyDelete
  33. I suspect ur hubby is d reason behind ur childlessness. Be more vigilant n snoop without seizing. Ur hubby might just be a cultist

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because d man has money for 7 IVFs he is automatically a cultist.

      Delete
    2. I cast and bind you
      You are evil
      I pity the friends and family you have ,
      I pity people that seek counsel from you.
      Tufiakwa

      Delete
  34. IF your IVF did not work by the 4th time them it is probably not going to work the way you are doing it. There is something wrong with either the quality of your eggs or the sperm cells. You might want to try donor eggs or donor sperm if you are actually not getting pregnant at all. OR better still adoption might be something you want to look into. Anyway, you shouldn't be trying to have kids with a man you are not happy with. Kids are no consolation for misery. Almost all the miserable BVs have kids and no Kids would not save your failing marriage. Man up and leave or fix your marriage before trying for kids.

    ReplyDelete
  35. It is well with you poster. My advice for you;
    - Talk yo your husband. Communication any relationship cannot be overrated. When you try this please DO NOT BE JUDGEMENTAL OR PLAY VICTIM. Let him know the situation affects the home and you too.

    - Get a job or be busy. Trust me when you are busy doing especially what you love, you get little time to be bothered about some things. Idleness could make you think the unthinkable tankless of having to go through TTC and a situation at home.

    - Sorry but toughen up! Yes, you are responsible for you. Listen, if you commit suicide - kill yourself, you will account for that before your maker. Doubt if there's any opportunity to point fingers of your husband responsible for taking your life. So, face life and make make it work for you. Remember that saying, when life gives you lemon you make lemonade to wa alright!

    - Open up. I know we all have things we want to remain in our closets but most times we need to open up to out loved ones; your husband, a friend, mother, sister, etc. Look through your contact and see who that person is.

    - Music. It heals the soul. Might not be music for you but something will definitely work for you.

    - Please adopt a child. You can consider surrogacy and IVF (later maybe) too but please adopt a child and help build that one or two life. It's worth it.

    - Importantly, don't let your husbands mind game make you go crazy. Cry of you need to but let it all out to GOD. Trust me, even out thoughts do go unnoticed BY God tankless of the heart cries.

    Lots of loveπŸ˜™πŸ˜™πŸ˜™

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Point 2 about getting busy is quite important. Spend less time worrying. Be filled with hope. Never give up.

      Delete
  36. You married to the money now, so why are you complaining now? Abeg make with it.
    It's your cross

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poverty is truly a terrible thing, see poverty mindset on display. No sense at all.

      Delete
    2. You are utterly foolish and dense. Stupid fool

      Delete
  37. Dear Madam, really sorry about what you are going through but please don't take your life. Don't try ivf again in Nigeria, go to India maybe next year, but for now love yourself and God OK? When you are ready travel to India. If you must do anything in Nigeria do surrogacy.kisses

    ReplyDelete
  38. Just voted SDK, feels good i didnt miss a chance. First time to comment in 7years. Poster pls take it easy. Oga, pls do the needful. Make I continue to dey read comments.

    ReplyDelete

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