Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Dear Stella,
Pls keep me anonymous, am sending in this chronicles because I am officially sick of life in Nigeria and would like to ask Bv’s how I can get out of this country for good this year. I used to be an active Bv under the anonymous tag but I have been more of a reader these days due to my dampened spirit. 

So what led me here?! A combination of several bad decisions on my part, i initially started reading medicine at a Nigerian university but failed a course in my second year which led to my withdrawal::: I was devastated as I had not been used to failure when I had the opportunity to study abroad I decided to take the family proposed option of studying to become a cost estimator in the construction field:::

 I hated this course while studying but I couldn’t afford to back out again so I pushed through and graduated with good grades and then I decided to get a masters in a different field hoping that I would be able to secure work in a different field, that was not to be when I came back to Nigeria as your 1st degree is the ultimate decider of where u get to work. 

I was able to get a job in a construction firm where I was paid 40,000k, after Nysc I was retained and was paid 100,000k lump sum a ridiculous amount for a graduate with a foreign master’s degree but everyone around me said I should be grateful and that it could have been worse.

I put in all my effort to my job but as time went by I grew tired day by day finding it hard to get out of bed.

One year post Nysc I decided to resign with dignity. All of this frustration I felt has been buried within as my boss still gives rave review about my performance within the office, but the more I gave the more depleted I became mentally, physically and emotionally.

I have never been able to cast the shadow of failing at medical school and wondering if my life would have had better potential if I ended up as a doctor, I want to relocate and see how I can make this a possibility I want to start over again and get my life to have meaning... I cannot keep living like this feeling worthless 

I am quite talented, a good singer won’t say am really good in the songwriting aspect but that is also something I want to nurture but with so much to think of financially the creative part of my life is dying. I was in a 2 month relationship that packed up earlier this year boyfriend said his parents disapproved of me, not going into detail on that but I can’t help wondering if my life had more meaning maybe that would not have been the case who would want to marry anyone with so much baggage as I have. (Deep breath)

To wrap it up am going to have to relocate back to my parents house,i  am going to be 28 later this year with little or nothing to show which makes me deeply sad ...

My relationship with my family and friends has been greatly affected as I keep to myself a lot; I mean,i am 28 and I cannot afford to buy stuff for my mom becos I barely have enough for myself.

I have thought about starting a business but to be honest it is like am brain dead in that area or maybe it is cos am scared to take a risk I don’t know.
Life in Nigeria has been disappointing, it’s no better for me because am an Introvert, and Nigeria is definitely not a place for introverts in my little experience it is all about “who knows who”

I know I am full of potential and I don’t want to Rot away but I believe the only option for me would be to relocate outside and start my life afresh so I need your pen and that of Bvs....... I need to know the cheapest way I can get out of this country as I have already started working on preparing my documents for express entry to Canada but I don’t want to rely on that alone, please I need options and advise on countries which are education friendly where I can easily study and work with my degree.

I want a job where I can make an impact while making money right now am helping people save money people that I don’t even know how they earned their money.

Am aware I sound confused and unfocused.But I know I want to fight for my life and I don’t think I can do that in Naija.These days all I want to do is hide because i am just so disappointed.
Thank you for taking out time to read this super long epistle, thank you for the platform Stella
(An unfulfilled and broke 28year old)

*I felt sad for you reading this and dont know what to say....Relocating is fine if you can afford it but i think you are being to hard on yourself...I dont know what advice to give and i really dont know which countries to suggest but if Canada does not work,try Germany where getting Educated is a good option for foreigners ....


  1. Canada is a,good option now and it seems it has turned to some Nigerian's new abode of relocation. I wish you all the best.

    1. Apply to come to Canada as a medical student. You seem depressed, that in itself is enough to end your relationship; these days people don't want to be there for one another... You need to be strong. My concern is that if you don't learn to be tough now Canada might be too much of a shock for you. The racism, discrimination, most Canadians hate new immigrants and their mask is wearing off... I'm afraid you might find it hard to cope on the job in Canada; people here are brutal, they are non-violent sociopaths who might destroy what is left of you. Toughen up hun πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

    2. Relocating is not the solution to ur problem. U need to find inner peace 1st otherwise just like anon 17:21 said u just might not be able to cope abroad. Life there aint no joke.

      Best wishes .

    3. I think you are being ungrateful and discontented. Learn to appreciate life and the little you have and watch your life turn out for good.
      You earn 100k and yet you can't afford to buy things for your mom? I think you don't have the giving spirit too, you want to acquire the whole world before you are able to give. Migrating abroad won't help you. Just change your reasoning.

  2. With so much baggage? Really..this is what you call baggage??

    1. What can i tell you...

      Just go and read"The Secret". Maybe then you ll understand how you have brought all these upon yourself. With your mind set you will encounter only defeat and failure in ur endeavours until you become good to yourself, Wish yourself well, be optimistic, be kind and stop judging yourself and calling yourself names.
      But i understand sha. I have been in your shoes b4 until optimisim and self love started flinging doors open for me. I learnt that my needs sort themselves out after i have put in my best, i go to sleep and say just a little prayer and belive the best outcome will happen. This means i take outcomes and make the best out of them with a smile on my face and gratitude in my heart.

      Stop being entitled my dear.

    2. Saphire you took the words right outta my mouth. Poster you seem to have mostly self-defeatist and I may even add selfish thoughts. Yes. This is how I was and I had to tell myself the hard truth. 28 you say?? I'm sorry for the disappointments in your academic and love life but they don't define you and you still have so much time to get back on the right track. When I turned 27, I had the same thoughts as you and labelled myself a broke, unfulfilled 27 year old. Guess what? I was prophesying the same things for my life down the road. I ended up making more mistakes because I was acting out of an ungrateful, distressed and anxious mind. I lost many more years to unfulfillment and poor decisions including trying to rush out of Nigeria all because I thought I was too old and unable to achieve anything with my life anymore. Afterall, my friends had all travelled out for Masters and I was still here in Naija doing one meaningless job. How wrong was I! I still had my whole life ahead of me. I had gifts and talents I could have developed. I had time. I had my youth and energy. Just like you do now! I'm only beginning to find myself now and feel content no matter what all from changing my mindset and perspective. Gosh! I wish I could be 28 again. I will be 35 in a few days and I am grateful. As much as you want change, know that change must begin on the inside before it manifests on the outside. If you want to be a medical doctor, it is still very possible. Check to see schools that offer scholarships and work to get one. If you dont want to go down that path, what about other health degrees that you can study? Think outside the box. But first, change your mindset and perception about life. Read articles of people who achieved success middle age, watch motivational YouTube videos, only follow people on IG that add value to your life; and most of all, PRAY for God's guidance and direction and learn to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit if you are a christian.

  3. Cheer up! You'd be amazed at what people older than you are passing through. It may be tough now but keep fighting. Abroad is not as easy as people paint it,and you require plenty of money to start off easily there. Dont be fooled by social media posts ooo.everyone looks good on Instagram.

    1. As Stella said you are being so damn hard on yourself. Most people are just finding themselves at 28 and finding out what direction they actually want to go. You have a BSC, a Masters degree and some job experience on your cv. What else biko. Do you expect to be at managerial level at some corporation already.
      You better delete Facebook and instagram app if that is what is making you compare yourself to your mates and others who are now Doctors in the US or some other place. Run your own race.
      I can understand hating the job you were doing but you should not have left except you were being mistreated there. You mentioned your boss was nice. You could have been applying for jobs and surfing the internet for opportunities abroad while still keeping this job. How do you expect to pay for your travel cost exactly. I know someone who just relocated to Canada,he got his residence permit all here while working. He continued working till few weeks before he relocated.
      Wish you luck anyway.

  4. Have you heard about the Australian skilled program too. You may want to give that a shot too.

  5. The problem I sense from your story is that you are looking at your mates who
    became "doctors"; isn't it?
    Well, it is not rosy there. My experience is that doctors are so over rated and too much is expected of them in the Nigerian society.
    It is sad but a lot of doctors graduate and roam about for 2 or more years looking for internship and their
    salary is just like double what you mentioned.
    About abroad? Most western country aren't immigration friendly these days and that is the truth. If you do not change your mindset about "I failed as a medical student", you will not be emboldened to seek redress.
    You did not fail, you only did not know where God wanted to bless you. Though you did not mention him, faith
    is very important in this life. Seek God in studying the teachings of Jesus in the New Testament, praying and fasting and know his niche for you and you will find rest for your soul.
    All the best .

    1. I'm certain this message was meant for me not the poster cause it spoke directly to me,I'm doing so good in every area of my life except emotionally,I've been so worried,and I think I forgot till now to involve God,whoever you are,thank you .

  6. The poster needs a hot slap. She had a job in this Buharia and she quit for what? Stupid excuse. How many ppl like their job? A job I'd meant to be enjoyed but in Nigeria, it is something you tolerate and endure. You should have remained with ur job till you got another one. Now you are broke. Are you smart or really dumb? I'm pissed. Can't believe I read this😠😠😠

    1. Anon 15:13 - My lil sis got a job (she finished her nysc recently - I think she was with Olawealth's set) she got a job that pays her 80k almost immediately and she doesnt need to pay for transportation to work. She quit recently! why? she felt it was not challenging mentally all she did was sit down all day. Come and beat her

    2. Well, at least that job will go to someone who needs it. I fully understand the desire for fulfilment in a job but making the decision to quit a job needs to be done after OBJECTIVELY assessing all factors. Btw, no job is perfect,it's always a case of give and take.

    3. Snon 15;13.. keep that slap to yourself... bot everyone can stay in a job that is not challenging. Its the easiest route to depression. I know a lot of people who want to quit on thiee jobs but due to the huge responsibilities they have... bills to pay, they are stuck in the job... its God they havent crossed that line yet... so nne, its not like that...

  7. I don’t even know what to say with coming across as insensitive. Many introverts have made it and are making it in Nigeria. 28, broke and unfulfilled? There are people worse than you but they keep pushing and encouraging themselves that one day it will be alright. Letting the situation affect your relationship with your family, my dear it only makes matters worse. Take it one day at a time. Hopefully you can get your heart desire which is traveling out to start all over but if it doesn’t happen or before that happens, only you can encourage yourself. Don’t stay indoors it only worsens the situation. Even if it is taking a walk morning and evening start coming out.

  8. You need to completely let go of the past, forget what could have been and focus on the present/future. I also think you feel pressured by your age, you shouldn't. The future is pregnant with lots of good things, never let hope die. Goodluck.

  9. Eyaaaaah. May God come through for you. If you still want medicine and you can afford it maybe you should try private university. Bingham university in nasarawa is very cheap and affordable. And if you still wanna travel out to study try Ukraine, Cyrus, Malaysia, Philippine also have good medical schools.

  10. It is well with you poster. Please take it easy, pray about this and let God have His way.

  11. It's like your head is spinning.
    Better calm down and clear your head before you made mess of yourself completely.

  12. You could apply for a professional job in one of the moderate Arab nations, Qatar comes easily to mind as they are still doing construction for the World Cup. With your Master's degree you could also apply to teach at an international school in Asia or Europe. Making 100k/yr US dollars would not be difficult in either scenario and that could help you save to have a cushion of financial strength around you before you think to settle down for good elsewhere.

    1. one of the best replys so far

  13. What is 40,000k and 100,000k? Master abi degree holder from abroad?

  14. Babe, i know how you feel.

    But one step at a time.

    Do you have the finance to move?

    If yes, start reading up on moving to canada, there are threads on nairaland and all over the internet.

    If no, get a job please and while on the job, focus on getting yourself out while working and making the funds.

    With the way you are sounding, don't end up falling a prey to scam travel agencies.

    Frankly speaking, there is no hope for this country,everyone who is able, get out when you can.

  15. Aww baby so sorry you’re too hard on yourself dear. Take it easy as you’re falling into depression fast . πŸ€—

  16. Ego and pride can make you think where God has placed you is not enough.

    Recall from your Bible πŸ‘‡
    Whatever your hand finds to do, do it and do it properly.

    Relocating can't be the route here because you may still complain about whatever destiny brings your way.

    Learn to be content and look at the brighter side of every situation you find yourself.

  17. I don't understand this chronicles... Did she relocate or thinking of doing so? Are you male or female

  18. First of all, where you work in Nigeria is not determined by your first degree, not at all. I studied Marketing and i have worked in the Bank (not as a marketer) and now work with the big four (not in Marketing capacity too).
    The criteria for getting a good job in Nigeria is to finish with a good grade in whatever course, and finish serving before you clock 24 or 26 at the most. This way, you get to apply for graduate position and after passing the recruitment stages, you will be trained on the job. It really doesn't matter what you read these days. I have friends from the engineering field and arts field working in the bank and in multinationals, in any sector basically.
    I'll advise you go online and search. broaden your scope, talk to people (you will be amazed who can help), google companies; there are a lot of them you don't know about that actually pay well.
    I wish you the very best.

    1. i am 23 and i am done with service plus my grades are good nobody dn call me instead na cake i dey mix for my mama kitchen

    2. Mix it well
      Learn it well

      Who knows if it is what will take you far

    3. Babe you're one funny lad,you cracked me up with this your mind annon 15:35 no know say na grace dey speak for person

  19. You need to let go of the past before you can move forward,that is all

  20. I remember feeling similar when I was 27 but poster trust me, it's not worth it. STOP putting so much pressure on yourself and breath. From the way you are going, you will end up making so many mistakes; I'm talking from experience. Relax, tell yourself life is short hence you would rather take it one step at a time. You can move and start all over again. STOP comparing yourself to others. One day you will look back and wonder how you did it and asked yourself why you were that worried. Don't forget to thank God for everything and at all times.

    1. OK so let me perch here,I'm not good with words but I'll try and make u see some reasons why u shouldn't even stress yourself too much.
      I finished with a PASS hnmm I went through hell when I was in school not that I was a dullard but I just dint know why my lecturer was all abt me..but u know what?I dint give up.I finished school and can't even tell anybody what I came out with I wasn't proud of myself but life happens.
      I'm 29 and I'm a lady,I took a marketing job I was lucky not bcos the pay is good but bcos I got something doing. My reason for writing this epistle is bcos whatever situation u find yourself just encourage yourself and brace it up.
      Pls don't be too hard on yourself it won't help you.take care bye.

  21. I perceived depression while I read this. E-hugs to you sweetie
    You have not failed at all. Forget the past. Meditate, be calm, ask God for guidance. You could go overseas and have it worse...
    You could stay here and make it big
    So many possibilities.
    You could volunteer to work with an NGO. Sometimes we get ourselves by giving out ourselves. Trust me you'll be fine in the end

  22. I think u just being hard on yourself baby girl, I'm going to be 28 in few months, still in my 300 level, sponsoring myself, not a single help from anyone, family still expect I send money, never had a stable relationship before ,nothing is working out for me, but in all this I'm still hoping on God still believe things will get better, please don't be too hard on yourself,

    1. Ok, so I was just scrolling down to say that some of your mates have not even graduated from their first degree program, you have masters and you are complaining, before I saw this. The only issue I have is your cost estimator degree, did you see anybody doing that type of work in this country before you went to study it abroad and it's not even your passion.
      Anyway, it's still too early to give up. You need to keep pushing cos the turn around you need can happen in a split second , only if you identify a hustle and keep at it relentlessly.
      And please may I not be crucified for saying this, I know it's rather presumptuous of me, but you may need to tone it down a bit. Average Nigerian parents may not be cool with certain abroadian tendencies, hence the disapproval.

    2. Cost estimator is a quantity surveyor

  23. This kind of person may not even make it abroad. You are too bitter to find fulfilment in anything.

    1. Once she gets abroad she'll be like, if I didn't leave my job in Naija things could have been better by now bla bla bla... she's too ungrateful and full of complaints. She'll be like, maybe I need to go to Zimbabwe

    2. Anon 16:00, YOU sound like the bitter and NASTY PERSON, geez!!!

    3. Haaaha, Zimbabwe! Beht why πŸ˜‚

  24. Poster I can feel you. You are being too hard on yourself. I understand your frustration, believe me. I'm 27 in May, in my finals in University and I'm in a point in my life where I'm super scared of my future. You are not alone. I would like to relocate abroad too but I dont have funds for now.

  25. Poster you are too hard on your self, let go of the past and forge ahead. My hubby wanted to study medicine too but after a term all those that did not start with medicine were asked to go back to their various department.Please don't dwell on that too much,you can be successful with out been a doctor.
    Trust in God, your situation will change for good. If you have the means you can relocate, if not God will grant you a good job and a good man will find you soon. You are just 28 dear, everything will fall in place

  26. take a breather and ask your self what do you really want in life. what is your passion? when you answer truthfully begin to pursue it. what ever you have a passion for and you are good at will make you stand before kings someday. build up your self esteem too cos you seem to worry a lot about what others think about you. life is a process and you progress in phases. even with God he takes you through stages.

  27. Why do you allow your situation to defeat you like this. You are just killing your morale for nothing. How can you resign from your job to stay idle. You would have been managing it while hoping on God for a better offer. Most depression are man made.A graduate at 28 still have high hope of excelling. I have seen a fifty year old graduate without constant job, he is still believing in God. Surviving from hustling.

  28. Ok but you need to think and pray very well

  29. I remember the year i was going to turn 27, i had no job, no idea how i was gonna pay my rent, no boyfriend or a prospective relationship in sight. I was so ashamed to move in back with my sister even though we had quarreled the previous year. I didn't know God needed me to learn humility and to appreciate the things i had instead of that which i do not have and cant control.

    I cried and questioned a lot of things, but i took my shame and asked my sis and her family if i could move in with them. They welcomed me with open arms. i prayed until i stopped and started praising and giving out of the little i had. Each time i did that i would say, 'God its out of the little i have that i am giving, please bless me so i could bless others more,i dont want to lack'.

    By the end of that year, God showed up and did an eleventh hour miracle. I got a job just a week to Christmas, that's barely the time any organisation recruits. I still stay with my sis, but i'm treated with so much love, respect and support. I don't have a boyfriend yet, though i know God would fix that. I would be 28 this year, but i'm way better than where i was.

    All i'm saying is that relax, trust your process and trust God, praise instead of crying. He sees, he knows and would surly surprise you. Always give out of the little, that principle never fails. Don't look at your age or time fix your eyes on God. Hugs.

    1. He sees, He hears, He knows.
      Someone said that to me one day when I was suicidal. He didn’t even know what I was going through.
      I cried more than I had ever cried and I let it ring in my head every time I was down. I mean every single time. And that was it.
      Make God yiur peace dear poster and I swear you won’t even understand how but you will have peace that surpasses human understanding. He will shoulder your worry and every stress. He promised and He has never failed honey.

  30. Poster trust me you don't have baggage. The person who wants to be with you will be with you regardless of what you studied or where you work. About studying medicine, it's really expensive doing it outside Nigeria and frustrating doing it inside Nigeria.
    Have you looked at the banking and accounting sector since you have a bit of a background there. Maybe write ICAN or ACCA and see what you can do with it.

  31. For the fact you failed a course in year 2 and was withdrawn doesn't mean u are a failure.
    It could be God's redirection.

    Holding on to the past, will never make you live in d now or plan your future. Let go of this.
    If u so desperately want to prove a point, then get a job/biz, save as much as you can to last all med fees and taking care of yourself, then go back to school and read your medicine.

    You can't be feeling bad for not having cash to support your mom because you resigned from where you were walking. And thinking about business seems like medicine isn't your thing but the pain of being withdrawn.
    Where ever you work, you must both deplete and enhance. As you give in, you must personally improve and add knowledge and if the company makes provision, better for you.

    For singing, you can do anything if you really want to.
    Join choir, band, group, etc.

    You also sound confuse. You need to ask yourself what you really want in life.

    So, instead of sulking, get a job to save up for your medical dream, assist your mum and sort your financial needs.

  32. Canada express entry. Just google and take it from there. It’s quite easy

  33. U need to see a counsellor.
    U also need to outline Ur priorities.

  34. Darling, what do you really want? It may seem like a trite question but think hard and think deep. Did you really want to be a doctor? It appears you really didn't have a plan nor a goal because when you withdrew from medicine, you went along with what your family proposed. Sweetie, if you don't have a mind of your own and a set of goals you want to achieve, your geographical location will not avail you much. Going abroad because you're frustrated and tired of Nigeria is not the solution. It's like treating the symptoms without tackling the disease. You need to fix your life first and that has nothing to do with relocating.

    Honey, at 28 years, you can start your life all over again. You can go back to university and study the course you really want. That's why it's important to know what you want. If you aren't feeling school, you can keep looking for a better job. You are stuck in a rot so every idea would seem uninteresting but just know that relocating abroad is not all it's cracked up to be. If you don't have a solid support system, you will end up more frustrated than you already are. My darling, you have to snap out of this woe-is-me attitude. So you failed? Big deal! Try again. Failure is a big deal only if you don't learn from it or you don't dust yourself up and try again.

    I don't know about you but my faith has seen me through the lowest times in my life. This is the best time to turn to God and seek guidance. You have to renew your mind and start seeing yourself as a work in progress and not an abandoned project. Sweetheart, take time out to really reflect on what you really want for your life, only then can you truly be at peace and then start working towards achieving it. Honey God can bless you regardless of your geographical location. There are very successful people in Nigeria and there are people with no future ambition and freeloaders loafing away abroad. Don't see relocating abroad as the way out of your depression. The problem is in your mind, renew your mind.

    e-hugs and kisses.

  35. Dear poster, start by thanking God for these:
    1. You are alive
    2. You are intelligent enough to even study medicine
    3. You have 2 degrees
    3. You are attractive enough to have even had a boyfriend
    4. You have a family who could afford to sponsor you abroad to acquire 2 degrees
    5. You have the option of immigrating to almost any country of your choice
    6. Age is on your side
    Once you start with these, your depression will lift and you will be able to think clearly. Be happy, be joyful. Praise/worship can lift your spirit at the drop of a hat. Try these and leave the rest to God. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—❤️

  36. Poster, you are being unnecessarily hard on yourself. Really thank God for where you are. You have a job, hold on to it till you have a better one. Try and find fulfillment. Forget the 'I failed medical school '. You are not a failure. See yourself as a winner. I am 29 years, not in any relationship, an introvert ,earning less than 90k. .And yet I am grateful to God. Finished uni 7 years ago. I know some friends who are still looking for job till now. But here I am, even though I have a lot I am asking God for, I am still grateful for where I am. Please dear, see the good in everything . You can make it right here in Nigeria. Just change your mindset. You are not a failure. You are a winner and a success. Try to be more friendly with people. Go to the cinema once in a while when you can afford it to relieve yourself, laugh away, smile at people. This is just a phase, it will surely pass. And you don't have to buy your parents an expensive stuff ,just something you can afford. It is well with you dear

  37. Poster happy yourself abeg, am 36 and in my finals in the university though engaged. Shey make I kill myself? Life is too short joor. I don't compare myself to anyone many of my mate don die some dey mortuary some even dey hospital self. Am super grateful to God. People lane different oooo follow your own abeg.

    1. Seriously I'm 36 in my final HND
      No boyfriend I quit d job I was doing because boss go they cause everyone, onto 30k them they pay
      I still believe
      Nd hope everything will be fine
      I will not give up

  38. Stella pls post my story is almost like hers, will be 28 in few month's time, no achievement whatsoever nothing to write home about my life, no relationship no nothing, employers don't want to look beyond my 3rd class degree. I learnt tailoring but no money to establish myself, all i need is a good & descent job to assist myself & loved ones, (I reside in Benin) my phone number is +2348092474096 thanks.

    1. My dear if you can, pls go back and get a 2nd degree now. Dont settle for that 3rd class because it will limit you in life if you choose to go down the employment path. Forget about PGD. Just do a second degree and make a better grade

  39. Be grateful for what you have and watch God bless you more.
    Most people are praying for what you have and you are busy,ranting and complaining.
    Dont be an ingrate!!

  40. Good and read two books to get you into the right frame of mind.
    1) Understanding Vision by David Oyedepo

    2) Pursuit of Vision by same author

    Am sure by the time you are through with those you would have discovered your purpose in life.

    The book you will need then will be MAXIMISING DESTINY by same author


  41. Dear poster am 29, have a bsc and msc in engineering(foreign masters πŸ˜‚) first degree 7 years ago, msc 4 years ago. I work and earn 49k, 6 months now, no salaryπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. You even see 100k, be happy abeg, everything will fall in place, just be patient. About relocating Canada is the best option.

  42. Heads high, chin up girl, this phase of absolutely not understanding what life holds in store for you happens to all. Its unfortunate that your relationship ended at this very time you need emotional support the most. Please do not make/take any decisions in a hurry. At 28, you have done alright for yourself, give yourself some credit. Coldplays "fix you" can make you feel better if you're musically inclined. Cheers

  43. Lady you need to go on holidays to retune your thinking, all you need is contentment. You can still be a medical student, when you have saved up. Pray and ask GOD to show you what you really need, he knows better.

  44. Dear Poster, I read your chronicle and one thing I'll tell u is you are not a failure!
    Medicine in Nigeria is overrated I must tell you.
    I am a medical doctor, have always been among the best in my set and just finished NYSC.
    Im currently working in a private hospital, very stressful and pay isn't wonderful but I just keep pushing because there s no much option as government jobs are not easy to come by.
    So why am I writing this? To tell you to calm down and stop putting pressure on yourself or feeling life would've been easier if you were a doctor.
    As a doctor, I sometimes wish I studied something else because people expect so much from me just because of the big name "doctor"
    Try and apply for a job no matter how small, u never know where your help will come from. If you wanna relocate, cool, but just know that the grass is not always greener on the other side.
    Have faith and all will be well.

  45. Thank you all so much I read all the messages one by one and have taken a cue from all of ur advise and critics.

    1. You are welcome dear πŸ€—❤️πŸ€—❤️πŸ€—❤️

    2. πŸ‘ All the very best. We are rooting for you.

  46. My Friend Kachi spent 9 years in the university trying to pass courses in the medical doctorate field, his failures continued even after he was changed to other related medical courses. He never did graduate. He thought he was useless for a long time but eventually he accepted his past and forged a new future. Today, he owns a retuarant/bar in Lagos and he has more money than his class mates (now doctors) from way back.
    As long as you continually dwell in the past, you will most likely remain down. Pick yourself up today and begin to set up a new path. Good luck to you.

  47. This is coming late, Hope you get to read it. Say this to yourself every day.

    "Doubt whom you will...NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF!!"

    You need to pick yourself up,(No one will, not even your Parents, they can only support, they can't fix your broken heart and mind, only you can)

    Imagine were you want to be 10 years from now with every single detail in place.
    Write it down.
    Take the first step towards it.
    And keep failing, pick yourself again, fail again till you achieve this plan.
    The more you fail, the more immune you are to failure.

    10 years from now, where you are now wouldn't matter. All of this will pass.
    I was in your situation, only worse, I failed at year 2 in Medicine, transferred to Anatomy and dropped out at year 3,(@22 yrs) I was depressed, emotionally unstable, unable to focus with study, failed a whole semester, seeing my mates move on to teaching hospital, very close friends dissociated themselves with speed of lighting (except one who is very dear to me and we've remained close to date, she became a Doctor). I always thought myself very intelligent, it crushed my self belief . Years passed by trying to get admission to study Business admin or anything related, wrote WAEC again so I could have Economics and Commerce(I was a pure science student, even had a B in Further-Maths),I got a job that paid 50k, while waiting for admission, changed jobs multiple times, never finding fulfillment obviously. I'm not from super wealth, but we were not poor, it was hard to see cousins and relatives graduating, and I , the shinning brilliant girl in the family, the one who was going to be "DOCTOR" now a drop out. I even avoided dating, how do you tell boyfriendd that you are a drop out.
    It took me 7 years to find my find my footing, I left the whole admission struggle, and started ACCA, got a degree along the way (with an ACCA affiliated University). 15 years after I dropped out of University, I am a chartered accountant, managed to even date someone and get married with 3 Kids.

    Those dark years seem like a blur now.
    They will for you, only need to, dust yourself up and go with your guts.
    If you can afford it, take a 2 weeks holiday, go to Ghana, away from everyone, strategize, dream, think positive thoughts and free your mind of the burden.


    2 Then the Lord answered me and said:

    “Write the vision
    And make it plain on tablets,
    That he may run who reads it.

    3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
    But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
    Though it tarries, wait for it;
    Because it will surely come,
    It will not tarry.

    1. Am super grateful for this, thank you for sharing your story with me, I will put every of your advice into use. God bless you and your family ma.

    2. Be strong, but also learn to grief properly for there you will find your strength.
      I suggested a holiday, because it is important to have moments of solitude.
      Every religion preaches it,Jesus went to the mountain for His moments of solitude, even Muhammed went to a cave in the Mountain for solitude, the Buddha priests and monks do the same.
      It is a period to be weak, in order to find your strength, cry and wail if you have to, you did Physiology in year 2, the tear ducts are there for a reason, dont let anyone tell you to stop crying.
      Even Jesus wept 3 times (that was recorded in the Bible) one of those times was in solitude, he pleaded, Mathew 26:39“My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me.Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.

      My point is:
      1. Take a break from everyone, find your place of solitude and grief for your loss, failures, and all you believe you have not achieved.

      2. Bury that grief and pain, and give it to God, Let His will be done.

      3. Strategize, dream, envision it, put in writing

      4. Return from your solitude, hit the ground running.

      5. Be prepared to fail, also be prepared to look failure in the eye and stare it down.

      Note: No amount of gift you give your Mother will bring more joy than your happiness . Her joy is when you are happy, I know that now that I have my own children.


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