Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Sunday, April 21, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah!!!!


Dear Stella,
Your post on April 2nd on wedding night brouhaha brought nostalgic
feeling and i have been contemplating about sending this to you or
not. Please feel free to edit if necessary.

I met my husband 2012 at the university, I was done with 300L going to
400L while he had a reference so extra one year. I believe God allowed
him having extra year for my sake because I don’t think there is
someone more perfect for me than he. We both decided to abstain from
sex although we did the kissing a lot.

Fast forward to last year we decided to get married. Well, Hubby
having been holding body for all these years was really looking
forward to the wedding night since we didn’t have sex for the six
years in which we dated. Even though i read a lot including romance
books, I always still wonder on how possible a penis can enter my tiny
hole, and with all the videos I watch, I still had doubt, since I
couldn’t dip a finger into my vagina, I brushed it up that when time
comes, it will take care of itself.

On the wedding day, like every bride, one of the happiest day of my
life. We danced all throughout the reception, I wasn’t exhausted at
all considering all the wads of cash that fell that day, it was when
we settled in bed and tried consummating our relationship I knew
affirmatively something was wrong. Hubby tried going in all to no
avail, he got frustrated thinking I was deliberately not putting my
body down...

After several attempts of trying to penetrate (I was very
wet and also got gel prior to that day), it wasn’t going in, we had
to stop because it was very painful. On the fourth day after several
trials, he got up really frustrated and angrily and banged the bed,
that broke my heart, I didn’t know when I started crying. 
he saw me crying everything changed in him, he knelt down and begged
for forgiveness for being insensitive and insisted he will wait till I
am ready. Well, for the next one month, we lived our life without the
mention of s#x and it was beautiful, we cuddled a lot and slept off
each day in each other hands. I knew I couldn’t continue like that, I
starting goggling what could be wrong and that was when I found out I

Vaginismus is a condition in which involuntarily muscle spasm prevents
vaginal penetration. The treatment included gradual exposure therapy
and gradual vaginal dilation among others. So my hubby and I went in
search of s#x toys store, it was difficult in seeing one but we
eventually saw one where we got the smallest size of dick ( like that
of a small boy) to start with. We tried inserting it, when we saw we
weren’t making headway, we decided to seek professional help.

The first hospital we went, the gynecologist was helpful initially
because she started with her small finger, it wasn’t funny that day,
it was painful and I was bleeding. The next appointment after a week
or so, she tried two fingers, my husband had to hold me down. When we
saw no improvement we had to changed hospital, best decision I made.

We got a new gynecologist, after examining me, he said the best option
was to sedate me and put various sizes of penis inside me and bring it
out repeatedly or leave it at the tip so my muscle can get accustomed
to it, that was the beginning of my healing.

Well after three months my husband finally had the wedding night he
fantasized about but I won’t trade the bonding we shared for the first
three months, it is priceless. I am doing better now, even though I still
wonder why God gave me a husband that his down department is very huge
considering my predicament .....
 did I mention he likes s#x so much (God
save me) but because of his love, care, attention and gifts, I just
can’t deny him, he is always careful and gentle with me because I
still feel pains like one to two hours after the action but I still
love him nevertheless and would do anything to make him happy.

*wow.............thats the beginning of the healing process for you...There so many people like you reading this now that visit this Blog...I know this because they mail me...some have even had their spouses leave them cos of this,so you are lucky!

I pray what worked for you,also works for them......
May God complete the healing process for you.


  1. Replies
    1. I had same issue too.i never had sex with my husband till we got married.I was on my period on our wedding night. We tried days after wedding and no way. Initially he was happy that it was because I kept myself but he became angry after trying for few days. That was the beginning of our sex life issues. I thought it was going to get better after our first child but there was no improvement. He even complained to his family members that he wasn’t enjoying sex with me. I was really embarrassed when he did this.As a way of saving my marriage I started looking for ways to improve my conditions . I got to know that what I had was Vaginismus.i read more about it. Prior to this I couldn’t dip a finger in my chat cuz of pain. i used to wonder how people who use tampons manage to hold it in all day.I started inserting the smallest finger and from there the next. I also started faking enjoyment whenever we are on it. I endure the pain so he doesn’t see that I am hurting. It was really painful. That was how we managed until I had my 2nd baby .I had my second baby few months back and it’s very free now. Hubby complained that it shouldn’t be this free but who cares. Now I can hang my legs and do any style he want without any pain. Although I don’t enjoy sex and I don’t crave for it but I am happy that finally I am very open. So poster I Am sure you too will be better after dropping some kids.

    2. Poster I understand your situation. I went through almost the same. We didn't have sex before our wedding.period decided to come on our wedding day so no show. I was surprised when he couldn't penetrate days after wedding .initially he was happy that I kept myself but the feelings changes when he still couldn't go in days after . He later became so angry .I was always screaming whenever he tried to penetrate.He got really frustrated as I was always lifting my got to a point I advised myself. I stayed but it was like I was being tore with blades. It was really painful. Sex was always a difficult moment for me. We could stay months without it. Then I took in. I thought it was going to get better after the birth of our child but na lie. The place was as tight as ever. We had issues and he reported me to family that he wasn't enjoying sex with me. I was really embarrassed. I started to make research and I found out was I had was vaginismus.I read everything about my situation online. I learn that I could start by inserting my smallest finger. Then the next. I started doing was VERY DIFFICULT. Prior to this I used to wonder how people who usually use tampons manage . o also learn to endure the pain when he's thrusting . I just pretend like I enjoy it but always cry inside. Well my situation got better when I had my last baby few months ago. Oga even complain that the place is too wide now( u can imagine) but who cares? Abeg let it be as wide as it wants to be o as long as I can hang my legs up and do other crazy stuffs without pain. So poster don't worry. I am sure your condition will improve

  2. Hallelujah... Now beds can be broken..

  3. Today post shows that there are still some amazing Men out there who understand commitment, loyalty and love...6 years without sex in courtship, madam poster hold that your husband well because Men like him are 1 in a million.


    1. If this kind of man comes to marry you, will you stop eating pussy?

    2. Abeg leave talk!!
      Person wey don chop tire for back clean mouth

    3. The man was getting it from other babes abeg...he was considerate in this case.

    4. @anonymous πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ you really are funny

    5. Anon 15:27 not all men are like you are thinking please.

    6. Leave matter abeg.
      I'm 120% certian he was getting it from different ladies.
      I know many men whose wives think they're d most decent and faithful, but they're actually very raw and dirty with other women.
      There's even one who doesn't know her husband smokes and they've been married for 8years.
      Trust men at ur own detriment.

    7. Hello, I was the one that sent in the chronicle, I'm 121% sure we were faithful to each other before and after we got married.

    8. Madam poster I'm 150% sure he wasn't celibate with you hoo haa. No man who's not a virgin will wait 6 yrs to hv sex. If I hear...

    9. If na my own e for don f**k the whole state and extending his pingy to other states. I give up, he can take it abroad.

    10. The fact that you people settled with cheaters doesnt mean all men are like that

    11. Anon 17:27.. Eyah pele. Who do you this way. Your heart has been so messed up that you believe that faithful men don’t exist . Eyah pele. There are still few guys who are real and who don’t pretend. I dated a man for 3 years and there was no sex. He loved me to pieces . Infacts he almost started worshiping me. We aren’t married cuz his father wanted me to change my faith. He was genuine and I can bet that he never cheated. May God heal your heart dear

    12. You just said the truth, I dated my hubby for 5yrs and now married for 3 yrs, I am very sure he has not cheated on me .He is too sincere and caring to a fault. Yesss some men are faithful.

    13. Anons 20:24 and 55.
      Both of u are too naive. Pray u don't learn d hard way.
      In most cases, a man is only faithful if he's broke, has a tiny penis or has irrectile malfunction.
      The ones that try to be faithful without having these 3 issues won't stay single for too long.

    14. I don't like how y'all are sowing these seeds.
      Poster, please don't let this have a place in your heart. There are good men out there who love God. So please, stop saying this because of your own experiences.
      God bless you

  4. Your husband is a good man. He's really patient with you. I heard about this first in my undergraduate days, during a course that revolves around sexual palava.
    God bless your home

  5. Make I no talk my own abeegi. No be only enter but knock me out as in unconscious. Lost the love of my life because he thought I was abiku just because I faint during the act. Lemme comman be going, you are a lucky bae

    1. Ah auntie comman jist us make other people learn.

    2. My sisters
      See ehn, I have been sexually active for 12 years now and I can tell you penetration is not funny.
      I eventually enjoy it but that initial entrance is war. And after the sex, I feel pains for 30 to 60 mind.
      My ex really wondered how it was so. We would have sex in the morning and by evening, vagina don close back.
      I have abstained for a year now and intend to till my wedding night. I just wonder how t will be.

    3. You better stay active, before it is another problem you will face then. You have already started having sexual.. Kukuma continue

    4. Penetration is always difficult then it gets less painful but after a few thrusts I get dry like dessert. I feel bad that we have to keep using gel. His libido is on the high.

  6. I encourage every woman to read 'every woman'
    Thank God you're better now. I thought I had vaginismus when I first got sexually active lol

    1. Seriously, every woman should have that book "Every Woman". I opens one up to lots of things about the female anatomy. t

    2. I thought I had it too when I married. It was bad mehn,I will be shivering when it's time for sex. Funny enough, it was HSG that opened me. This life ehnn

    3. Please what is HSG? I had vaginismus too.... or thought I did. I was a virgin until 31+, I was with a guy I thought would be my husband so decided to give it a try. It was as if there was a wall down there. Nothing could go through. I used to shiver too whenever it came to sex. We would try and then give up. I was so frustrated because I waited so long for all this, then my fear became “how it could affect marriage”. It was bad enough that I was that old without any sexual experience or skills, won’t the inability to even experience sex completely crumble everything else? I had research it and. Work on my mind. I started with fingers and slowly graduated. The story is long sha, but it took me almost a year to achieve sex. I even broke up with the guy and dated someone else. The first time a penis tip got in there felt so weird and in comfortable. I was also filled with this unexplainable, irrational panic. I eventually achieved sex but thought it was overrated...... until I met my hubby. I eventually got married and had my first child at 36. If not for determination and just the rejection of the idea that I was just different from all other women, I could have given up on marriage altogether and it would have been impossible to explain why. How do you say “I’m not interested in marriage because I can’t have sex”. It’s embarrassing, private and personal. A lot of other women might be going through this, please research it and seek help, although I know it’s harder to seek help when you’re not married but please don’t give up. I can’t say I tried one thing in particular but I tried many things and something eventually twigged. Your root cause would determine your treatment option. I believe mine was due to strict upbringing. “Don’t go close to boys” “don’t let them come near you” “you will bring Shane on everybody if you do” “ you will get pregnant this and that” etc. Guess I took those talks too much to heart that I didn’t know how to adjust once I was an adult and was ready for relationships and possibly marriage.

  7. That "bonding" got me!
    A lot of people do not bond, they just begin their relationship from day one with sex, sex, sex and before you know it, it becomes a chore!
    Sex is no chore and if you had given him sex during the relationship and with the vaginismus, you people might not have married. It is beautiful to wait and I enjoyed mine.

  8. Interesting and so educating. Thanks for sharing this.

  9. Wow.... see analysis.. teenagers in the house abeg jump and pass. This is for adult only.

    1. Teenagers houkd read as they might encounter such situations in the future

  10. Happy married life!
    That first gynecologist is something else . Thank God you were not discouraged... When you can't handle a case why not just say so? Inukwa putting your finger somewhere and blood is coming out , I ka n'e put kwa.

  11. WOW....May God continue to bless your union

  12. Sorry will be fine.I also didn't enjoy sex at first,but with time it got better.I am also glad you married a man who had self-controlπŸ˜™.

  13. Wow!wow!wow!
    Every day We learn,God please complete the healing.

  14. Your husband is indeed a very patient man. May God bless your home greatly.

  15. Dear poster, your husband is a good man.

  16. Hmmmm.
    People are going through stuff ooo.
    Just imagine some homes this could have broken

  17. Moral of the story: Test and grease your goods before purchase, to avoid gyneacologists deflowering your wife.

  18. You married an angel in human.God bless you and your hubby

  19. I am so happy for you poster and May God bless your husband for waiting and standing by you, men like him are rare.

  20. This husband is rare.

  21. Thanks for posting,God bless your husband for standing by you.

  22. God bless your husband πŸ™

  23. You married a great man, God bless your home.

  24. Aww... I'm sure you haven't experience orgasm. Let your hubby engage in more foreplay and you relax your mind

    1. Yes, the oga should do more foreplay. In fact, he should 'saa her efele' well well first.

  25. I hope some men have learnt the art of patience, understanding, love and so on.

    God bless your husband!

  26. Story story. Poster your husband likes sex? I'm so sure that In that 6 years courtship he has slept with other women. Sorry poster, your hubby will cheat on you soon. patient man my foot!

    1. What is your own business, how is that anything related to the story she narrated, why re u so bitter and angry with your life?!!!...
      Anon 15:57, Jesus lives you, accept His love and you will have peace and you will be able to be happy with other people's joy. May God bless you.

    2. She's bitter cause hers is cheating on her steady and she wishes it was her. Like dey say people hate on things dey wished deu could have

  27. Poster were you circumcised? Women that had FGM/FGC ( female genital mutilation or cutting) usually have difficulty when it comes to penile penetration because that place is usually tiny and healed with scarring/fibrosis esp if you had type 3. This type needs you going to a doctor to open it for easy penile penetration. Women that had FGM also have vaginismus as well as those abused sexually during childhood or adolescence. You can also try and use a lubricant during sex to avoid bruising around your vulva during coitus.
    Why are still having pains even 2 hrs aftee sex? It should have stopped by now. Thank God for your healing.

    1. Mine was pretty tight too. Vaginal delivery was painful and war. I tore so badly and felt every pain though the baby was just 2.5kg. Fast forward to the next couple of weeks. We had sex, I was soo tight and umcomfy, so much blood everywhere for the first 2week each time we did it. Gynecologists said my vj is natural tight plus parts that shouldn't be sutured were... Next delivery, there might be a tear again he says. It's just frustrating hubby says I'm super tight. I started having sex first in marriage too.

    2. You can have an episiotomy during delivery. It helps to widen the birth canal during delivery. This can be sutured back after delivery in the Labour ward. Is better than perineal tear which is jagged and has complications of causing post partum haemorrhage if it involves an area with rich supply of blood.sometimes nurses don't also know how to deliver babies in such mothers, they are supposed to use alot of olive oil to lubricate the birth canal and then guide the perineum carefully and gently as soon as the baby's head starts coming out, that way it reduces perineal tear. 2.5kg is just the normal birth weight which is even on the lower side of the range.

  28. Let me not say my mind..🚢
    Happy Easter celebration everyone.

  29. Na wa for different problems wey full this life. Thank God you guys have found solution & healing.

  30. I thank God for you.

  31. Marrying a good man is a great gift,they are rare,thank God for you.

  32. Your husband is a good man.. God bless your home.

  33. Madam congrats on the type of man God blessed you with

  34. Mine was worse, after several attempts after the wedding night, I had to see a gynea who did a minor procedure to open d place, even now I can't hav deep penetration, I had to do CS as I didnt allow VE. God help me.

  35. You're lucky poster, I lost my marriage to vaginismus.

    My ex couldn't manage and had to leave.

    I honestly thank God we parted ways because he would have killed me before my time.

    Sex to me is still a big ish but I have to indulge in it to prevent a repeat of it.

  36. That is very serious,God help your people

  37. Very educative and eye opening post.

  38. Wow!
    This is an eyeopener!
    God bless your home.
    Your husband is a good man.

  39. Hmnnn. This may happen to me too. Is this something many virgins go through? I'm a virgin too but one time I had a bf unwittingly insert his finger down there and it was so painful. He was shocked at the way I reacted and thought I was joking around. I've wondered how it'll feel when it's finally time to have the real thing go in all the way. God help me. Na because of you I close leg o. Lol

  40. Anon 22:40 LOL. You had me at na because of you i close legs


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