Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

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Sunday, April 07, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Hmmmmm.....







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE


ADVICE NEEDED TO STOP CHEATING URGENTLY


Hello Stella,

Please i need BVs advice and will appreciate if you post my story (please i need to be anonymous keep my mail).

My husband of eight years has been cheating on me a long time now. A lot has happened that i am trying so hard to forget. I am no longer the fun active person i used to be. I am trying to shield some details as i have a very active SIL as a BV. 



In-laws problem also made the marriage become what it is especially with hubby working in a different town which gave him opportunity to do as he pleases. Well a long time before now, i made up my mind to focus on my business and kids.


But there is a problem, i have fallen for a very married man. I feel bad because i never imagined i ever would. We started out as friends, talk about our marital issues and advice each other and i must confess i started to feel strong and willing to accept any outcome from the threats of divorce and abandonment that has always been dished out to me. Then started the hugs, kissing and s#x (about five times now). I have always tried ending it but its so hard because we talk every day.

 I am known at his workplace as his friend because i transact business in his office. Even his wife is aware of our closeness and taunts him with it and he denies. He has made me feel loved and wanted. I used to think i had mouth odour as hubby tries to avoid me and when it runs into months he will say ''ΓΆya so you will not say i dont touch you''. Honestly after my last baby in 2016, my urge increased.


I want to stop because i felt bad the day he told me his manhood didn't respond the day his wife was caressing him. I felt bad because i could imagine how i used to feel when my hubby comes home and gives excuse of how he is tired, getting old (he is just 38), or half-way into s#x he cant release and he says he is tired (a sign that he has been active all week, wicked enough not to keep himself for a few days before coming home) and stops. 


My daughter was dancing last week and brought out her tongue to dance. I asked her why and she said her friend in class does it, i had to give her a pet talk that "even if everyone does something, it doesn't make it right". At that point it struck me! That my husband cheats on me doesn't mean i should!


I want to be happy, this married man makes me happy but i am inconveniencing another woman and it is bad. Please i need advice on how to end it with this man, focus on God, grow my business and be a happy mother around my kids. I noticed when i am home alone if i send the kids to their cousins'place i feel down, depressed and sad so i know their noise helps distract me but sometimes i want my me-time to rest but rather than rest, i ruminate on why my marriage became this, why my husband couldn't be faithful, why he will rather spend his money on his mother and girlfriends, why i need to excel and succeed to shame him and his family, why! why!! why!!!


Please how do i stop having anything to do with this man (or another that may want to come) and also stop thinking of my losses, pains and hurts in this marriage and focus on what is important?


You are free to cuss me out, i already know it was wrong to fall for this man and yearn for someone else's husband. I don't have the right to condemn my husband anymore but i need to RISE from this pit i find myself.
Thanks for your time dear BVs and Madam Stella!




*Awwwwww,I sincerely pray that you rise above this..I dont have the rights words to advice you and I am sure someone does....Stay strong and dont fall weak agiain.God bless you as you make the right decision.
BVs over to you to advice her..........

92 comments:

  1. Bia nwanyia,you have no reason to make another woman not to enjoy her marriage simply because you're not enjoying yours. That's wickedness .
    You can divorce your horseband and remarry an unmarried man but allow your fellow woman to enjoy her marriage kilode

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Fan
      Onye isi ndi Pharisee. This woman already don talk say wetin she do dey wicked, why you dey remind her of that one eh?
      Only people wey wan repent dey ask for advice you de flare up against. Them don bully you sote you hide ya head under sand.
      Side chickens no be the only sin wey the Pharisees ibe gi wey dey this blog dey boast about and you go just chicken out.
      Agadi nwanyi daa nda ugboro aboua agua ihe obu n' akpa onu; When old woman fall twice, them dey count wetin she carry for bag.
      πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ‘€πŸ‘€πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

      Delete
    2. From your comments, i can tell you are a local butterfly who consistently counts herself a bird. Too uncouth!
      what you stated in your first paragraph, she wrote up there. Please advice and move on. Mgbueke!

      Delete
    3. It's not that easy madam.. In my own case my husband is too obsessive that he can't stand my friendship with fellow women talkless men which makes me very close to his friends and business partners wives but the danger of that is I've been sleeping with two of his friends and he has no clue, the affair is too sweet I must confess especially when their wife confides in me, always scared they'll catch us but not anytime soon because we duck inside our matrimonial homes... Very bad but safer than going to hotels. Please don't advice me to stop because I've gone far. We always plan vacation together and you guys can't imagine how much fun it is!

      Delete
    4. It's not that easy madam.. In my own case my husband is too obsessive that he can't stand my friendship with fellow women talkless men which makes me very close to his friends and business partners wives but the danger of that is I've been sleeping with two of his friends and he has no clue, the affair is too sweet I must confess especially when their wife confides in me, always scared they'll catch us but not anytime soon because we fuck inside our matrimonial homes... Very bad but safer than going to hotels. Please don't advice me to stop because I've gone far. We always plan vacation together and you guys can't imagine how much fun it is!

      Delete
    5. Kai fan I was just waiting for commentπŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†i know say you go vibrate. Lolzzz

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    6. She already knows this.
      What she’s asking for is advice on how to get out the problem she’s stuck in.

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    7. Did she tell u that she has reasons to make another woman feel bad?

      Delete
    8. Princess intelligentsia7 April 2019 at 16:01

      Madam,leave someone else husband alone. If you're no longer happy in your marriage then both of you should separate and watch how things turn out before you will snap and kill your horseband like that Lagos lawyer did. May God give you the strength and wisdom to handle this difficult phase of your life. May God give you the ability to put your life together once again. From today's henceforth, let it be you first before any bagger. I know it's ain't easy but with God by your side you call always pull through.
      Shallom.

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    9. AGN the bully wey you ma dey bully me pass the one of the pharisees. You na comfirmed Saducee

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    10. You want to hide details from your sil bv, yet u gave us all these details. Ha! Aunty why??? Let her not bookmark this page o

      Delete
    11. Men are scum. My hubby perfected cheating on me in such a way that he won’t be caught cos he knows I snoop and so he will add his gfs on my Facebook and Instagram n whatsapp then pretend to be jealous n possessive of me seize my phone n chat n mess around with them using my Acct and when he’s done return the phone while I will foolishly be snooping on his phone n get nothing. I later found out his style sha

      Delete
  2. Cut ties with the man.
    Try as much as possible not to think or reflect on any amorous relationship you have had with him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Let me go anonymous on this and advice you.

      See, what you are doing is inspired by survival instincts inbuilt in you. You either do it or you loose your sanity. Frustration will so take you over you will ruin your business, become a terrible mother and an unpleasant person to be arround.
      Its unfortunate it is affecting another woman but you are an unloved woman and that need can drive you to suicide or depression.

      My advice is please have a sit down talk with this guy and agree with him that this affair is not supposed to affect his marriage and both of you can not be having frequent sex. Both of you should see it as a pill/medication and must not over doze on it till situation changes and he should also have your interest at heart thathe is only helping you hold on till things improve in your marriage.

      Delete
    2. He has even told me that he will back off if the home front begins to look okay. But I need no barriers for God's blessings. I hate the guilt I feel despite the fact that I feel good with him. You seem to understand what I'm going through. I will work on myself though... It's hard but doable.

      Delete
    3. Poster u replied this demonic comment cos it suits u huh? She/he seems 2 understand wat ure going tru? Really. Seem u didnt come here 4 sincere advice on how to leave but on how to go continue without feeling guilty. I put it to u, ure not ready to leave that man alone, u just want to feel good about what ure into. So my advice is 4 u to continue until u meet ur doom. And moreso to hold on to anon 17:00's advice. Stupid fellow. Just when I tot u really want a change.

      Delete
    4. Tess baby, calm down. She specifically said that she doesn’t want any barriers from God’s blessings. Which also means she politely declining that anonymous’s advice. Even though I in no way support anybody getting involved with another woman’s man, anon 17:00 does make a lot of sense with the description of what she’s going through and what she could be possibly facing had she not met another man to console her and make her feel like a woman again. The only thing is that it would have been better if it had been an unattached man. Poster, just try to end it completely with that man both for your sake and for the sake of his innocent wife. Even if it means you’re going to find yourself a single man. Also try divorcing your husband so you can just do things right the second time around. What he did to you psychologically is enough to make you snap. A few women have done it of late and we all call them devils etc bit it starts from exactly where you are now. As bad as it is, this married man might have been the only reason you haven’t snapped yet. So endeavore to make yourself happy but not at the expense of another woman. Also bear in mind that the woman too could be going through similar emotional trauma right now and might be on the edge of snapping

      Delete
  3. It really sucks to be in this situation really...but you should use your kids distractions as your strength. Put all your energy on God and the kids. As i advise you I advise myself too though I haven't cheated but seriously nursing the ideaπŸ˜’πŸ˜°let's know our worth 😊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All of you saying,focus on the children what happens when the kids are all grown up and leave the house

      Delete
    2. Married women we dey suffer ooo, God!!!! I'm nursing the idea too. Men no longer take care of their wives.

      Delete
  4. Stop talking to the man and talk to your husband about how you feel.

    Since your mind is made up to stop, may God help you. It is well with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A man who's wife is indifferent about her love, care and faithfulness will hardly be flogging himself up because he has had sex outside marriage 5x.

      Its amazing being a woman sha. We have conscience and we value our body so much we hardly give out any touch,kiss or emotion without almost overthinking it.

      Men with good wives see cheating as a birth right and we women accept mere appologies and forgive.

      The lord is your muscle poster.

      Delete
  5. Divorce is always an option. You may meet someone who will love you like you want to be loved. As for your boyfriend, he's not that different from your husband. Stay away from him!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Please Bvs, this lady does not need the cursing, she needs advice.
    And mine is; you talked about focusing on God. Fast daily and study the scriptures (New Testament especially). Build the fast like from morning till noon and aim to get to evening, perhaps drinking water only.
    You have to sacrifice business dealings with this man. delete his number etc. It is all about sacrifices now.
    Do everything to resist being annoyed during this fast; especially from your husband's behavior and co.
    Wake up around midnight and pray. If you can't pray, read the scriptures like I said earlier.
    You will find peace and calmness in your soul. Remember that you can as well listen to the New Testament on your smart phone; just type the book and verse and there you go. God's Grace.

    I been always dey tell my Naija girls say, revenge fork no be the solution to a horseband wey dey fork around. E no dey end well at all at all. I hope say the man no get video film of all the bad bad things wey una do ooo. Even if im do, call im bluff, he no go wan scatter his own marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stupid advise,pray but use your sense

      Delete
    2. @Anonymous 18:10
      Give you own advice and let another person give. The poster needs advice as much as she can get

      Delete
    3. No d poster does not need advice on how to resist rather how to go about it without feeling guilty. Go up and read her comment. She is ready to keep on fucking that man until his marriage is fix. How shallow.

      Delete
  7. I am usually not religious nor a church goer but today I went to church. The gospel struck me hard. The gospel of forgiveness. That of self love and the recognition that God loves you so how dare you not love yourself.
    I am not going to tell you your feeling will go away cos they may not. What I’ll say is to take stock. What have you sold, what do you still have in store, what have you lost? Let go of your losses, and work with what you have in store. This married man you are sleeping with is as responsible for adultery as you are, don’t beat yourself or him up too much. Your husband is as responsible for your adultery as you are, don’t beat him or yourself up too much. You are responsible for everything you do, take stock, restock and let God love you.
    Let who is without sin be the first to throw stone but go and sin no more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's responsible for her Simple.action...

      Delete
  8. It is well
    I don't even know what to say
    If I say marriage doesn't scare me I'm lying.
    God will help you ma
    Make the right decision,stick to it and pray for God to restore your home.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Poster, cant you do your business in same state your husband reside's? Please, go and stay with your husband or you devoice him. So that you can remarry and be with someone who know's your worth.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Can't advice cos this is so me. Do what your inner man tells you.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You never been in a situation until you found yourself in it, poster it is well try as much as possible to cut any form of communication with him and focus on yourself and kids.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thank God u have realised ur mistakes, just avoid him and look for a reason to hate him.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Marriage is like this at times especially when you have finished having children. It is not easy but this is the time you need to go closer to God. Most married women are in this same boat with you. Try and keep your self busy and think less of men. You will be alright

    ReplyDelete
  14. i understand your pain because i also am in a situation where the man is emotionally absent ..please find the courage to cut of the married man by deleting all his contact it is the lack of affection from your spouse that has pushed you into this but that doesn't make it right ..i have no easy answer to what you are going through but read more go Gods word and try to increase your time at your business that's all i can say

    ReplyDelete
  15. ... go and report the matter in police station, write a statement. Police will go and warn him, then you both know it has ended

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 15:41, ROTF LMAO ! You dey mad, i swear. Thanks for cracking my ribs, I've not laughed this hard in a long while.

      Delete
    2. Is he raping her???
      This your advice na wa.

      Delete
    3. Lmaooooo..omg my chest....

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    4. Hahahaaaa
      Heeeheeee

      Delete
  16. If you want to have peace in your life,End the relationship with the married man and also end your marriage with your husband,i bet you that a better person will come your way.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I truly am sorry for wat ur husband put u through. But u must think deeply of how the other woman must feel. How you felt when ur huaband cheated time and time again. U are wrong for doing this. Through lifes experience, i have come to realise that except we dont truly want to, we can do the right thing. The question here is will u? I will be praying for u my sister. Goodluck.

    ReplyDelete
  18. CELLGEVITY Lagos ...081800688867 April 2019 at 15:56

    Thank God you realised what you are doing is very bad. I pray God will help you and give you strength to resist the urge to go back since you have made up your mind to stop. Also be closer to God and ask for Holy Spirit to take control of your life.
    Pray to God to destroy the work of flesh in your life.
    It is well poster.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Please free another woman husband for God to bless and grant your heart desires.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Poster ! You know what you are doing is wrong and you feel ashamed which is good.

    Start giving yourself pep talk on how to stop having sex with this guy.

    I won't advise you to tell anyone so you won't be black mailed.

    Start cutting your chat time with him. Don't chat unless it's absolutely necessary .

    Your husband isn't making it easy for you so maybe you should pray to God for a decison about both of you .

    Find activities to occupy your time since boredom is something that is promoting your relationship with him.

    With time, you will quit the relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It won't be easy initially but if you are determined you will succeed. If you are a Christian seek the face of God in fasting and prayer.
      If you are caught today do you think of the shame? How will your children feel when they hear this story? Please and please stop now before its too late.
      I pray God will help you.

      Delete
  21. Madam back out the way you walked in to this your adulterous way. Nobody taught you when you started..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If all men were like you in this world; women are better off without men

      Let everybody face front with what God gave them

      You feel too ENTITLED over women sir

      I feel extremely sorry for the women you date and may end up marrying

      Carry ur prick wacka far. No reasonable vagina needs to torture themselves with someone with your kinda primitive mindset.

      Delete
    2. He has very misogynistic tendencies

      Delete
  22. Ehya sorry madam . Soak yourself inside church activity.
    Aside work/business dedicate your time to Christ & Church. Rededicate your life to Christ,Ask God to forgive you, forgive yourself, be determined to live a changed life not withstanding what anybody does(your husband inclusive) .
    I wish you where in Abuja I would have introduced you to my church Pastor ,every heavy hearted soul that comes to my church gets lifted, I'm a living testimony, Living Faith Church is the place to be.
    I pray you find peace, joy returns to your marriage in Jesus name Amen!
    May God help you.

    ReplyDelete
  23. You have to find a way to separate your self esteem from your husband’s approval/affection. It’s hard but this is how many Nigerian women cope. Because your husband will not stop cheating until he wants to. Your decision to cheat is independent of your husband’s fidelity. If your conscience can’t take it then stop. Look for things to make you happy that are contingent on you and you alone

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How To Avoid Adultery In Your Marriage

      Please note that you can avoid adultery. It is within your power to do it, if you really mean it. Carelessness is one of the major cause of affair in marriage not devil in the real sense of it as many people always claim when they fall into error.
      So follow the following simple rules you will never fall into adultery.

      1. Never make anybody of the opposite sex your best friend with whom you share intimate discussions.

      2. Never be with anybody of opposite sex at any time that your spouse never knows you are there.

      3. Never talk evil about your spouse in the presence of anybody. They will know you are not happy in your marriage and take advantage of that by showing you fake care and give you what you lack with your Spouse and destroy you.

      4. Be proud to use your wedding ring outside. Let them know you are married and proud to be.

      5. Never visit a website you will not be proud to tell your children and wife/ husband you visited.

      6. Avoid keeping secrets from your spouse. AFFAIRS thrive in secrecy.

      7. Avoid confiding in the people of the opposite sex. There should be somebody of your sex you can talk to. Don't dig the grave of your marriage with your mouth.

      8. Avoid collecting unsolicited gifts and favour from opposite sex. They will ask for sex in return they are not Father Christmas.

      9. Avoid thinking that anybody is better than your husband or wife you don't know what their spouses are enduring at home. What you are seeing outside is just a show biz so don't be deceived. Grass is only greener in the other compound because it is far from you.

      10. Divert all your sexual fantasy towards your spouse. He or she is planted into your life to satisfy you and keep you holy.

      11. Always remember that whatever every woman or man has in his or her body, your spouse has it too and they are not different from each other. It is only faces that are different. It is the same package.

      12. Deal with any sexual thoughts that are not directed towards your spouse. Kill them before they kill you. Sexual errors do not begin in the bedroom, they begins in the heart.

      13. If you are finding it difficult to deal with it, find a mature christian you can confide in and let the person pray with you and counsel you. Don't die in silence.

      14. Before traveling, have sex with your spouse and put your mind to it that you will not have sex until you come back. That decision may save your life and destiny

      15. Men, avoid looking at the front and back side of ladies and imagine what is there. It is stupid, childish and dirty to do that. This is called lust. What is there is not different from what your spouse has. Please don't be stupid sir.

      16. Walk in the company with good and Godly men/women. If you keep company with adulterer you will become adulterous.

      17. Discuss your sexual desire with your spouse and let it be met at home. Don't hunt for something that will hunt you later and hurt you deeply tomorrow. Your wife/ husband has the best, get it at home.

      17. Fill your heart with the word of God always. This will not give lust a chance in your mind.

      18. Memorize and Always remember Proverbs 6:32-33. *"But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away".*

      20. Always count the cost of adultery. Don't just look at the pleasure. Look at the pain, loss of integrity, how you will hurt your wife/husband, children, friends and above all, GOD almighty.

      21. Always remember that the enjoyment, pleasure and the thrills that is in sex is just few seconds or less. it can not be more than that but its repercussions can last for eternity. Why trading eternity for few seconds, is there wisdom in that?

      BE FAITHFUL TO YOUR SPOUSE AND YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU DID.

      Delete
    2. Madam, ur number 12 and 13 conflict o. It is in her confiding her fantasies with her pastor that the pastor might just think he is ordained to fulfill it for her instead of being in company of the ungodly.

      Bottom line...may we not see challeng/temptation beyound us.

      Delete
    3. This write up above says it all. Please do it and most importantly TELL HIM NEVER TO CALL YOU AGAIN.
      BLOCK HIS CONTACT FROM YOUR DEVICE.
      A good business may likely pop up and will look mouthwatering but please forget it as it will be a trap to keep you going.
      I love you dear poster and wish I can talk to you one on one and give you a hug cos you need it.
      God loves you and is re writing your story.

      Delete
  24. Sounds like my cheating wife.. Who uses every opportunity to blame me.
    If it is you, Abeg stop lying on me.

    You have always been a chest and I only started seeing someone else when you would not stop cheating instead you are suspecting every move I make.

    I told you the reason why you feel insure is because you are cheating.

    Why not divorce me because you can never be faithful. I want divorce but you want to keep me and yet can't be faithful.

    Let me be abeg.. Meself don tire

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. nigger gedifck outta here...

      Delete
    2. She tie you rope?

      Delete
    3. Must she be the one to initiate divorce?

      Delete
    4. There are so many married women here that are whores and will always defend themselves. Wife's excuse for fucking around was she suspected I was fucking maid. I swear that I never looked at that maid In a lustful manner and never did I ever touched or was ever attracted to her! A hoe is a hoe.

      Delete
  25. Madam I pray You will experience God's mercy and Grace at a time like this.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The level of cheating among married people is truly astounding! Stella we need a whole post to discuss it. Most of the women flogging side chicks are doing worse with their married counterparts! It’s serious

    ReplyDelete
  27. You know how you can do it? Delete his number to start with...don't answer his calls, keep busy(count and recount your stocks in the shop to keep busy),

    Push comes to shove, separate from hubby for now. Save dor rainy season.
    Go for check up for sti/std(because you dey cheat and your cheating hubby sleeps with you).
    After that surrender your remaining life to God.
    Pray until something happens.

    Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
  28. I have no advice for you madam am here to read comments

    ReplyDelete
  29. I can only pray for you. May God calm the storm in your marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  30. May the lord strengthen you as you find a way out this situation.

    ReplyDelete
  31. I seperated from my husband not too long, i was cheating on him with a married man that i thought was my world. He didnt treat me so special cos he was married, but i was looking for love in the wrong places so I didnt mind. Guess what, just after 4 weeks of seperation, going about my business, feeling myself and looking forward into the future as a happy soul and in company of my 2 kids, i met this dude. He has been centre of my world and major distraction, i dumped my old boyfriend and nevrr for once thoughg about my hubby. I have been happy ever since, this new guy wants a relationship, not just sex. I think we will get married later on, I can feel the genuity in his relations. I will tell any woman to leave that toxic relationship making her unhappy, she wil meet someone better, most def. Just need to take that first leap to be happy with yourself first.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Hmmm..Some men are just rabid dogs & sadly women will keep feeding these men..Madam u messed up big time and I'm glad u admit it but u gotta make certain efforts to stop this madness.Cut off from d married man asap & stop encouraging him.

    ReplyDelete
  33. C'mon Women stop encouraging these men/dogs.And stop causing other women pain.As for You that lost ur husband tragically last year December and the only person u see to flirt with;is another woman's husband of barely one year;Karma will soon catch up with u.

    ReplyDelete
  34. No easier way than send a text and block amm means of reaching him

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you block him you will crave him more let it die naturally

      Delete
  35. There’s nothing like KARMA oh! God is merciful and will wipe clean the slate of a repentant sinner. So all the women chanting karma should leave story. How many men have experienced karma?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ano you are so right, men always cheat and gets away with it. Men thinks themselves to be god.God will save us women

      Delete
  36. Oh men! You can never be happy! As you have caused another woman grief and pain instead of dealing with yours, you WOULD NEVER be happy. You are not better than your husband at all. I am sure he sleeps with other married women wanting love too like you. The married man is even worse than your husband. This is such a mess. I hope that man's wife gets the courage to leave and be happy single or with somebody else. How can you a married woman who is miserable make another miserable too. I am sure she also thinks she is smelling or unattractive. You deserve your husband and the married man. This is disgusting to say the least. The wife of the married man needs to arrange herself and her life to leave the both of you. You do not need advise because you are worse than your husband. Enjoy the adultery but mark my comment even if you stop you would NEVER have happiness or peace of mind. You are a hoe who attracted and got married to your type and still cheating with your type. Nasty POS!

    ReplyDelete
  37. The high rate of adultery and infidelity these days is alarming. Those working in hotels know what I am talking about.

    ReplyDelete
  38. With the same sincerity in which you have confessed to man, go to God, confess your sins and ask him to help you never to go back, ask him to heal your marriage. Make communicating with God a habit,pray more often for your husband, that way his love will continually increase in your heart.
    Poster its all about God, he is the only helper.....no one condemns you.... After all ,we all have sinned at some point in our lives and fallen short of Gods glory. I pray that God help you and see you through this phase of your life in his mighty name. Have a good one.

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  39. Sweetheart, it's human nature to repeat whatever gives us pleasure, it's somewhat addictive. Real talk? Ending your affair is going to be herculean but you must end it. Do you know why the affair with the other man seems out of this world? A part of you is vengeful and understandably so. Revenge is like scratching an itch. It feels oh so good at first but like every itch, if you don't stop scratching, you will end up breaking your skin, causing a sore that was way worse than the initial itch. Cheating on your spouse because he cheated or cheats on you is like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Double jeopardy! Darling, the price of your womanhood is way too high to gift out to just any man. It must be guarded at all costs. There's no such thing as "just sex". Sex is physical as well as it is spiritual.

    Honey, one thing that should act as motivation to stop is the thought of this blowing out. How would your parents, your kids, your colleagues feel? What about your husband and the wife of the other man? Your offense will be over-exaggerated and it will be your head on the chopping block. I'm certain the man's wife will shield her hubby and brand you the "married whore", the shameless mother who pretended to be a family friend but had the agenda of breaking a "happy home". You will be accused of being the one who seduced the poor man. It will interest you to know that even the man you are having an affair with will deny you like Peter and stand by his wife and kids. The affair is not based on love, it's an avenue to unleash sexual tension and he finds it convenient that's why it's going on. Please don't think he is sacrificing anything to be with you. He knows his wife will forgive him and there isn't any major consequence for his actions. Unlike you who has her whole world at stake.

    Most people sympathise with a wife who is being cheated on but the moment she cheats, all bets are off. The offended now becomes the offender and nobody will show empathy. She will be judged harshly and burnt at the stake of public opinion. My darling, start by asking God for strength, I'm sure you've already prayed for forgiveness. Call the other man and tell him you want to end the affair and you need his co-operation. The calls, chats and all other sweet nothings should stop. Don't be fooled by his sweet words of persuasion, you have more to lose, remember? Delete his number and stop any business transaction with him for now. You have to be drastic if you want this to end because it is very easy to fall back into old habits.

    Now my love, you don't need a man's affections to make you the Queen you are. Know that you are precious and beautiful. If you don't guard your heart and build up your self esteem, you will fall for the next man who pays you the slightest compliment and before you know it, you are back to having an affair yet again. He may even be single so you will feel that's a better option but it's not. Draw strength from prayer and try out new hobbies like baking or gardening. You can even do them with your kids for maximum fun. Make friends, take yourself out and spoil you a little. You can go see a movie with the kids or go shopping with "the girls". Just make sure your days are filled with exciting activities so your mind wouldn't be idle. Create fun for yourself. You don't have to take your clothes off to have a good time, no?

    e-hugs and kisses.

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  40. Sometimes years back I had some affairs I slept with 2 different guys it was fun but I was lonely, bitter,betrayed because the one I loved and gave up everything for kept me in this place I became a shadow of myself.... but I bounced back I had to realize I owned my own happiness and no one would make me feel worthless because truth be adultery makes you feel worthless. It’s a sin no one sees but your mind battling itself. No one exist except you, forgive yourself and your husband no one is perfect, consciously develop a true relationship with God because even if you sleep with a thousand men be sure He still sees you the same, you May fall again and still find yourself craving another man but hold on to God and stop judging your husband because if he too comes to God His sins will also be forgiven, so who are we to judge them, and remember no one is perfect, always look for what makes you happy mine is counting money, window shopping and exercise it will go a long way. I have been married for 21years and for all you know he might know what you are doing

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  41. Cheating can't help your situation...I tried it and felt emptiness after the whole scenario...The sex was rubbish, he did not romance me both times we had it..It was like someone spray pepper on my pussy, also he never use Emoji's for me despite me using several during and after our chats...Now I will keep to myself...

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  42. Take a trip for a week or two if you can afford it.go clear your mind. New guy hasn't said anything about leaving his wife so it seems this is just sex. While that's fun, you're craving a man's full attention. You should probably find one that can give you that . I don't care that you're cheating. Just that you've picked a married man. Your husband already broke the bows so there's no cheating here

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  43. My dear, l know it’s hard but you need to SEVERE ALL TIES with the man. Look for your old girlfriends, hang out with them and reconnect. You don’t need to tell them ish about your marriage. They should serve as distractions for you. If you have siblings living around, invite them often for lunch and dinner or go over to their place. You shouldn’t be alone at any moment except at night with your kids. Wake up each morning and put in your best in your business.
    Sending you a big hug. May you find the strength you need.

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  44. That's women for you. You people overthink issues and dream of happily ever afters too much. Yall may hate my comment but you need to take care of yourself. Like a wise person said in the comments above,separate your self esteem from your husbands opinion. Secondly,stop thinking about love or Disney endings. If you want sex,get sex and don't imagine things. Make it a business decision. Yall wont leave your spouses for each other so have fun quietly and maturely. Down go and start falling in love. Just get your nut and go. Una go bash my comment but the we all know what it is when in comes to sex in Nigeria.say one thing and do another one in secret. Enjoy

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  45. All this pain because of cheating? Ordinary cheating o. If atiku or dangote cheat on you will you be angry?

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  46. 99.9 percent of men cheat. It's either you deal with it by engaging in church activities or find sthing that will keep you busy. You cannot change men rather change your self to adapt to the situation

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  47. Some marriage will take you to hell.Please use the approach of the poster who didn't collect certificate for sex in the dream (fast and pray ).

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  48. My opinion, if this man makes you happy and the sex with him is great, please continue. Do not let your spouses catch you guys. Keep your sanity with him and enjoy it while it lasts. In this life your happiness is all that matters.

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