Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Actress Nse Ikpe-Etim Reveals She Had To Remove Her WOMB To Live A Normal Life

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Sunday, May 12, 2019

Actress Nse Ikpe-Etim Reveals She Had To Remove Her WOMB To Live A Normal Life

What a strong,beautiful woman!!!!





Nse Ikpe-Etim never thought of being an actress but by a stroke of fate, she has established herself as one of Nollywood’s finest, winning the Best Actress in a Drama award at the 2014 Africa Magic Viewers Choice Awards amongst other awards.

The actress who stars in ‘Heaven’s Hell’ which was premiered in the cinemas on Friday, recently shared her story at an event tagged ‘Conversation with Nse.’ Joe Agbro Jr. attended and writes

NSE Ikpe Etim comes across as a successful movie star. And yes she is. Ever since she was thrusted to prominence in 2008 for her role in ‘Reloaded’, Nse, 44, has not looked back. And over 25 films later, she has become a force of Nollywood.


But penultimate Saturday, ahead of the Friday cinema release date of ‘Heaven’s Hell’, the latest film she stars in, Nse engaged her fans with her life. The event which held in Lekki, Lagos, and was tagged, ‘Conversation with Nse’, had no script, no direction, no takes or retakes. It was Nse speaking unabashedly from her heart.


Revealing how he was lusted when he watched the movie, ‘Guilty Pleasure’ in which Nse had a sultry role, fellow actor Femi Jacobs who engaged her for the session described her as ‘crazy’ during the introduction.

“I’m not talking about mild crazy,” said Femi who has done seven films with Nse.

“I’m talking about crazy crazy. Nse is not okay. But she is one of the most gorgeous souls, one of the most conscious souls to work with.”

And strutting in a matching shirt and pants to an applause, Nse settled down as layers of her life were peeled off.



Finding Nollywood


THE University of Calabar Theatre Arts graduate said she got into Nollywood when she ran away from a wedding she was not ready for.

“I got on a bus at Alakija bus stop because we used to stay at CBN Estate at Satellite Town (Lagos),” she said.

“I didn’t know where I was headed. I just saw cameras and I gravitated there. I was drawn to the camera.”

The crew was headed to Badagry. According to Nse, the first born in a family of six children, it was there she met Kate Henshaw, Francis Duru and Julius Agwu. Nse stayed on the set for almost a week and had to go back home where she said her mother “beat my soul back to life.”

She vowed she wasn’t getting married. She also ran away from acting, taking to banking, fashion and other endeavours.

Later, she would say, “I never thought of being an actor. I have a friend who calls me the reluctant actor. I just saw the camera. It looked interesting, better than marriage. So, I walked out. It was as simple as that.”



Converting pain


NSE’S father had died when she was 15, leaving only her mother, who was a teacher, to take on the burden of raising the family.

“It was a very tortuous period in our lives,” said Nse who revealed that her mother was a child bride. She bleached her hair and blamed everyone for her misfortune.

“My mum, a teacher, was dependent on my father for everything. And which is why today, I like it that women are breaking out and working for themselves.

“So, here’s my mother at 31, nothing but money my father probably left. And so, I decided to just be that rebel and that’s when I met my husband. We started dating. I have a friend here who her parents said, see this Nse, don’t follow her.”


As teens, Nse and her husband, Clifford Sule, started a relationship and called it off and he came back again. They finally signed the dotted lines in a Registry in Lagos on Valentine’s Day in 2013. Nse said this was even after a story about her with the headline, ‘I’m not born to be married’ was published.

She repeated the same thing at the event.

“I still am not born to be married,” she said, though she admits she and her husband her still very much in love.

“I stand by it. I’m not. The only reason I was born is to affect the world. And if it happens negatively, take me the way I am.”

Nse also revealed that she was never going to be able to have a baby as she was diagnosed three years ago with Adenomyosis, a condition whereby the inner lining of the uterus breaks through the muscle wall of the uterus.

“I was told I couldn’t have kids,” she said to the now sombre audience.

“And so, I had to have a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) to make me have a life again and to stop going through what I was going through. And I’m literarily telling women and men, it really doesn’t matter if you can’t bear children. What really matters is what you would do for the world, for the universe.”

Recalling the moment when the doctor told her she’d have to have remove her uterus to live a normal life, Nse said: “Tears dropped and then my husband squeezed my hand. It was reassuring there was someone there and it was telling me that this is reality, my reality.”



She fell into a depression.



“I didn’t think there was any point anymore because my society taught me that I have to be a mother to be appreciated and every time I went online, I would have one troll or two say ‘you never born?’

“But I’m thankful that that didn’t break me.”
She is however appreciative of her acting career.

“I’m thankful for Nollywood,” she said.

“I push my pain through every single character.”

Nse revealed that prior to the hysterectomy, she badly wanted to have children.

“I wanted a set of twins,” she said boisterously.

“I wanted children. I wanted so badly I was brooding forever. Femi, I did IVF. I tried. Femi, I did everything our society wants every woman to do so that we can be accepted as women.”

She however described as “crazy” how some media reports speculated on her being pregnant.

NSE’s story got some members of audience shedding tears. And each time, it happened, she hugged and comforted them.

“If I registered a foundation, I would look into women like me who are questioning that they are no longer women because they can’t bear children, women who are marginalised because they suffer one way or the other,” she said.

“There’s so much that we go through that nobody sees but yet we smile. I’m not saying men don’t go through it. Men have to struggle because there’s so much pressure on the man.”

But going forward, Nse who disclosed she has embraced her pain is set to use her star power to affect lives.

“I think I want to affect the world positively,” she said

“Mentorship… I would want to do that. I want to do it because the creators of the internet failed us, that’s why I want to do it. When they let it out, they didn’t know what it was.”

From the nation

81 comments:

  1. I watched Surrogate and said this looks like her real life story. God is ur strength. You r beautiful inside out but more Beautiful inside. Love love love Nse. The most underrated method actor in Nigeria 🇳🇬

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    Replies
    1. Exactly my thought,Nse God will prove himself

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  2. This our heart is really strong to bear all pains. God really tried.

    Nse it's well with you.

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    Replies
    1. My dear,indeed the heart is really strong. May God help us

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  3. I love her dearly... Nse you're a strong woman.

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  4. Oh my God!!!
    Just last week I saw her picture and prayed to God to give her beautiful babies just like her.
    It’s all good,miracles still happen.

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  5. Tough one
    Above all thank God for her life

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  6. Oh my darling Nse!!!!!
    What a strong woman you are
    One of the best actress in Nigeria
    Nothing is impossible with God dearie..... I love you ♥

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  7. Oh my God. Crying after reading this. You’re strong

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  8. Wow! What an amazing woman. Thank God for her life.

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  9. She is best actress love her so much! Wish her well

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  10. The Lord is your strength.
    I don't know but I have seen many women with adenomyosis that have gone on to get pregnant naturally and have babies. Abroad doctors especially UK doctors are always quick to suggest hysterectomy. That was how they saw tiny fibroids in my uterus and the next thing the doctor suggested is remove your womb. At my young age! I told him fuck off! They always look for the easy way out. They prescribe hysterectomy lime paracetamol.

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    Replies
    1. You sure you told him to fuck off?

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    2. You can't know more than a doctor, yes have faith but also think of your health

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    3. Doctors are not God, many times they are wrong, in fact every wrong.

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    4. This your story is hard to believe. One thing I know is that abroad doctors are very reluctant in removing fibroid unless it endangers your life. No doctor will recommend Hesterectomy for tiny fibroids and I'm talking from experience.

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    5. U are so right

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  11. So touching.i guess she said this so the womb watchers will let her be.

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  12. Having children is not the end all be all. Heart ache, extreme anxiety and even regret is almost not worth it. If you really desire children then adoption is a viable option. Children DO NOT love the people who gave birth to them, they love people who care for them, nurture them and raise them. If you think it's a lie ask those who lost their parents as toddlers if they feel anything for their late parents. The whole giving birth thing validating your womanhood is a tad bit primitive and archaic coupled with being overrated too. You are fine Nse. Having children has never given anybody immortality or eternal life. If you like born 0 or 40 we would all die and rot. 50 years after your death you would be lucky if 1 person remembers you existed and this applies to the childless and childful except you create a positive change world wide. That is the best way to pass in your "genes".

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    1. Anonymous you lied.
      In as much as I believe that we came into this world with nothing so we will go back with nothing,I also know there's a saying in my place that onye ozuzu zusia,onye nwe nwa nwe nwa.
      How many adult goes back to look for their school teachers? No matter how useless parents may be 90% of people still believe that blood is ticker than water. Yes children loves the people who cared for them but the love can not be compared to the one they have for their biological parents. IT IS NATURAL!!

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    2. Taking care of is not sane as being their teacher
      Adopt a kid and she’ll look for you

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    3. Fan, you just argued like the mumu that you are. I bet you wouldn't type this rubbish if you are ttc. Ode jatijati. It's your kind that will mock a woman with childlessness.
      Pele o, iya train to bi Iddo.

      Nse darling, you are such a strong woman. Please go on and adopt or try surrogacy with your husband's sperm and donor egg. The Jehovah is your strength.

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    4. "the love can not be compared to the one they have for their biological parents. IT IS NATURAL!!"

      I'm surprised how you are making such a false statement so confidently.

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    5. - Thicker not ticker
      - Adults go back
      - Children love
      Take it easy abeg.

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    6. You are more stupid than I thought. So I should not appreciate God's handwork because I don't have? Have you ever heard of the word I WISH? Of course it will never come out of your deceptive mouth .
      It is people like you that will make others feel as if what they have is worthless yet your wicked heart yarns for it. Evil

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    7. Fan I fear people like you. Tonmorow is pregnant. You don't even know what the future holds. You don't even know if your loved one can be in this situation,is this the kind of words you will tell her. Madam please close your ignorant mouth. Ahhh Han!!!! na wa....

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    8. Teacher nwa nde. Who payed you for your services? People like Chimamanda Adichie are making money ooo

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    9. PAID
      If Chimamanda was writing rubbish English like this, she wouldn't be making money ooo.

      Delete
    10. @ Y, Fan has a low IQ and she doesn't know it. It's evident from her thought process et el..She is unteachable too. Very terrible combination. Please do yourself a favour and ignore her.
      For the sake of her kids, I just hope her spouse is intelligent biko. I always cringe at how shallow she sounds. Always insulting and talking gibberish. You cannot engage her in a thought provoking discuss. It's well.

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    11. Fan, sometimes the way you think numbs me. Did you even understand that annon's argument? Ok why do some children hate their parents? A lot of people birth kids and abandon them, a lot of people birth kids and are not in their lives. Some children live a life of regret because of their parents failures.

      Not every parent is worthy to be called a father or mother. Some are useless and play no role in that child's life.

      As a matter of fact, some kids hate and want nothing to do with their biological parents. That you birthed a child doesn't mean the child would love you.

      My husband loved his grandmother dearly but had a not too close relationship with his mom. He actually will choose his grandmother any time any day over his mother, though he doesn't hate his mum.

      Using a teacher as an example here does not make sense. Does your teacher nurture you, feed you, care for you, pay your fees, provide for you? Do you live with your teacher?

      The point is if you can't have children and you desperately want one, adopt one and raise the child like yours. Let's support one another and stop arguing ignorantly.

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    12. Fan, I think you missed the point. Have you tried to answer the question the anon asked, whether people who loose their parents at birth long for them? The care a woman gives her adopted kids is the same that another woman gives her biological kids. You can’t liken a woman and her adopted kids to a teacher and her students. Try not to sound insensitive.

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    13. I was reading the comment and wondering who was spewing so much stupidity so confidently then came across her name and wasn’t surprised.

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  13. Nse!!! May God give you double for your trouble, you are so beautiful and strong.

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  14. Why does a woman have to remove her womb because of Adenomyosis....... people have this everyday and go on with their lives. Yes some painful symptoms but taking the uterus is extreme

    Any doctors in the house to explain ?

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    Replies
    1. Her treatment seems extreme

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    2. It her decision, not yours.

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    3. Anon 11:14 shut up if you ain't the one wearing the shoes. Who are you to decide what's extreme or not

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    4. Many women with Adenomyosis go on to have children. She didnt need to take out her womb

      Don't want others to think that the solution for Adenomyosis. That is misinformation

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    5. Exactly, i just read about it now. Taking out the womb shud happen when life is threatened. I hope she froze ger eggs so that she can try surrogacy

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    6. People have Adenomyosis everyday like menstruation ryt? You really don't know what you are talking abt. Do you know that the painful symptoms brings most times suicidal thoughts? Do you know that the person is always anaemic bcos of constant low blood due to monthly menstruation? Pain that comes from d muscles and veins from the abdomen down to the feet. Always on very strong painkiller every blessed day that instigates ulcer daily. Sometimes ur menstruation can last for up to 3 months daily. Am so so very sure you don't know what the painful symptoms entails.

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  15. I feel sorry for her.

    But some time ago, she wrote something about how its ok for a woman to decide not to have kids make it seem like it was her personal choice while the truth was she couldnt.

    I think that was misleading coz i saw a lot of women agreeing to it and you know how nigerian women are easily manipulated they will say "i will not have kids" since its what my role model is doing.

    Anyways, ladies you can have it all, kids, husband, beautiful family. If you can please do. Dont let people peculiar condition lead you into taking a lifetime drastic decision.

    I'm glad she is better now tho. God will continue to uplift her.

    Ps : i'm a woman.

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    Replies
    1. Trust me, no African woman would willing go without having children.

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    2. @ Anon 11:34 that's not entirely true. I know some nigerian women who decided not to have kids.

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    3. @Olodo, that's because they are yet to reveal the koko of da matter. Abeg forget story!

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    4. Anon 11:16.Your thought process is flawed here. So because she has a medical history as such, she should not write or say something generally about women having right to making choices about their bodies?

      It's because of this type of thought process that a lot of people choose not to be activists of any kind. Who even told you that the 2 instances are related? Besides, assuming they are,is that enough reason for her not to speak out and tell women it is ok to make decisions for yourselves?

      Wisdom is profitable to direct. And No, Nigerian women are not airheads that make such life changing decisions based on a flimsy fact, their role models did same. Peace.

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    5. Olodo then somebody must be deceiving somebody.

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    6. Anonymous 12:13 return that peace to your deceptive self. People pretend not to like what they can't have,and Nigerians do that alot.
      Please do not tempt me to speak further.

      Delete
    7. I'm anon 11: 16. Thank You Fan. You've said it all.

      People pretend not to like what they can't have 💯💯💯💯🙌🙌.

      Please Fan speak further, i'm all ears.

      Delete
    8. Dear anon 11.16 & Fan E. Your reasoning is wrong. I am very healthy and capable of having children, Infact I've even been asked to donate eggs. Do you know one truth? I had never wanted to have children. I have never wanted to have the responsibility of looking after them. Seems very selfish right? But because of people like both of you, I've been lying to myself and the world just so I can please society.
      Is that life? I know other Nigerian women like me who are hiding their true want just so to please society. I know an Igbo lady who resents her kids because she never wanted to have them.
      Children are a huge blessing but I don't believe they're for every woman.

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    9. This Fan can be so uncouth chai. Try and be ladylike small when you communicate biko. Not everything jau jau like market woman.

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    10. What about Religious people who choose not to have kids,we love to make general statements, just like some people believe every man loves sex.

      I met someone last week and before then the family begged me to convince him to marry, I talked to him and he said he just wants to do missionary Job, he is 50plus.

      Not everyone thinks like you.

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    11. I feel women should be allowed to have a CHOICE whether to be a mother or not and not have to feel guilty about it or judged on their choice..
      Truth is being a GOOD mother isn't easy. It is one of the most challenging jobs a woman will ever encounter. Not everyone is wired for it. Some ppl are not just maternal but they have been programmed by society go to school,get married and procreate. Then they become terrible mother's,non sympathetic,unemotional and abusive to their kids because they resent them.
      I look at some women that have no business being mother's. I saw one video recently;dou in igbo. A mother was happy saying her 2yr old son finishes 2bottles of star in a sitting,she can drink two crates in a sitting. That boy was happily gulping down star like an alcholic. I am too sure that woman drank alchol while being pregnant with him. It has probably affected the child. Is that one a mother ????
      However this Nse interview is confusing me abit. Becos she seems to desire to be a mother,asper her IVF trials and the fact it's her condition that required her to remove her womb. So I'm confused,cos it seemed the decision not to have kids in her case was medical.
      While some women can have kids without any assistance but they don't just want them cos they ain't maternal.
      I'm confused on Nse stance. But I do admire her. Whatever works for her.

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    12. To fan and anon I would say people think others want the same things as they do. Extremely untrue that no African woman does not want children. Because you think that you can't breathe if you don't use your uterus does not mean others think the same way. Contrary to what both of you think, there are African women who know deep down they don't desire children but are forcing themselves to want kids and have them and regret. In Europe here there are tons of Nigerian women happily married, living their best life and child free. A lot of them don't want or care for children.
      You see, when you are in a place that the thinking of the people around are miles ahead of the average Nigerian, you'd have no choice than to conform. When you are in a place that children are not needed as insurance policies for old age security, having children becomes more of a burden than a blessing. I chose not to have kids the moment I had to start saving for my retirement. My mentality changed immediately and having kids did not make sense anymore. There are a lot of Nigerian and even African women born and raised in Africa that choose happily not to have kids here. You know why? Here it doesn't matter if you have or don't, your old age would be very similar because the children you birth or adopt would eventually go on to lead very busy lives, so that loneliness you wanted to avoid by by a sperm distributor of uterus factory hits hard and heavy. Nigerians need a bit of exposure. It's unbelievable that in 2019 there are people that think like this especially with the problem of over population in African countries. No wonder lives are a dime a dozen. Nobody cares because you lot breed exponentially to the extent that it is literally unsustainable.

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    13. Sometimes the way we argue shows our level of reasoning and exposure. Hard and strange as it sounds, not everyone wants to have kids nor marry.

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    14. I am firmly on this table Anon 15:59. I really don't want to have kids. Even marriage, left to me, there's no point. I just want to successful.
      But in Nigeria, you need a husband and kids to validate you, if not, society and your family won't let you be. I have decided to get married and have not more than 2 kids. I see it as a debt to my family. If i were abroad though, i'm pretty sure i'd make different choices.

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  16. You are a strong woman Nse.

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  17. One woman I hold so dearly and highly in my heart,stay strong ma'am.

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  18. I cried reading this, I love Nse so much and I am so sad that she's going through this, I am glad you are strong dear..
    but doctors in the house, is it possible for eggs to be frozen before the procedure?? would love to know

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    1. Wat abt surrogacy???

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    2. Anon 12:33, I believe that's why top Anon's comment asked about egg freezing before hysterectomy.

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  19. Whether there's a womb or not doesn't matter. There are different ways of having kids now. What matters is love & happiness...

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  20. I just love this woman I don’t even know why honestly

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  21. My love for Nse ehhh. one actress I admire son much. you are one strong woman, may God be with you darling

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  22. Can't believe I had a drop of tears reading this.
    I love that strength in you.

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  23. she is good actress...esp in the movie pretty liars" the doctors would av harvested her eggs na..wat do i know sha

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  24. I had hysterectomy recently and i am still trying to fit into the new life. No menstruation, no pregnancy. Its not easy at all. Her story just gave me courage. Would consider surrogacy but no money yet.

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    Replies
    1. Keep taking it one day at a time. All will be well in the end by God’s special grace.

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  25. Someone is saying she told the docs to f-up. Well you can do that, if yours is not cancerous/malignant. Some uterine growths can malignant, thus early intervention by removal is the key to survival before it mestasize/spread to other organs and eat up .

    Please do not compare situations.

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  26. Dear Nse. You are one of the few naija actresses i admire. I feel ur pains. Pls there are many options available to have babies now. One of ur beautiful can donate her egg which would be fertilized by ur hubbys sperm and a surrogate would carry the baby to full term for you. Pls think about this option. Bless ur good heart.

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  27. Loans in Abuja for salary earners, call 0802695863812 May 2019 at 14:07

    The Lord is your strength ma'am. Stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
  28. There are reasons behind people's choice

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  29. There are reason(s) behind every decision or choice.

    Some reasons are odd while some are senseless.

    ReplyDelete

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