When I heard that if a man touches you,you become pregnant................
I had a close encounter and almost died from crying and fear......All he did was touch me from behind mistakenly...infact his hand touched my bum and i stopped eating and was always crying and trying to find out about pregnancy until i was forced to confess why i had become a different person...I confessed that i was pregnant and there was shocked silence and just before i got the beating of my life.....They asked me who it was and i said i didnt know him but he touched me and i became pregnant.....Turns out my mum had told me that to scare me from the opposite sex..........Mscheeeeeew!!!
I thought if I swallowed orange seeds it would ,the tree would grow in me as my older cousins told me. When I did,boy!did I cry all over the place. My mom had to tell me the truth that day.
ReplyDeleteI have an aversion for pear, the one used in eating corn, it's almost 15 years since I tasted it. My father bought it one time and it was a paint full, we roasted some, soaked some in hot water and ate others raw.
ReplyDeleteAfter a few hours, I was so sick to the point of death.
It took a long time before I was healthy again.
Since then each time I see pears, I associate it with sickness.
Quiete an experience you have.
DeleteSo, I was always fascinated with how oyibos eat leaves (later knew it was Salad) one evening while watching tv, there was this flower pot in our sitting room that had a plant growing in it, that’s how I started speaking Americana accent to myself, then cut the leaf, and started chewing, I have not even chewed far, omo na so tongue start to Dey scratch me o! I couldn’t even call for help, or tell my Mum the silly thing I was doing (fear of flogging) omo I drank water it was worse, I just open tongue for fan Dey scratch tongue! Lol, till today, I still don’t how it stopped!... still hate Salads tho, Coleslaw for me any day anytime!
ReplyDeleteKelvin Dat Edo Boi (Stellz Cousin)
you even used american accent to eat the leaf😂😂😂
DeleteChai😁😁😁
Delete🤣🤣
DeletePlease whats the difference between salad and coleslaw?
DeleteThis has to be the funniest comment tonight 🤣😂😂
DeleteCant forget the day i locked myself inside the wardrope while playin hide and seek with my siblings. Luckily for me, my dad was home. He had to break the wardrope for me to come out. U needed to see the way i was sweating...lol
ReplyDeleteThank God you showed up o.
Deletemy grandfather used to tell me that if I eat fufu I'd poop white poop...that made me dread fufu when I was small and I grew up with it...haven't tasted it
ReplyDeleteI hate the sight of pawpaw,because I was lured by my neighbor's son and he molested me severally,i knew in my mind that what he was doing was wrong but don't know how to figure it out,he will put his fingers in my vj and tell me to touch his dick,I got tired and sick of the whole act and started gating pawpaw,so was never enticed with it again and never ever cross their compound again.since then the sight of pawpaw makes me sick and brings bad memories
ReplyDeleteHugs
DeleteI remember whenever my older siblings would leave for boarding school, I would always cry so much because I felt lonely
ReplyDeleteDuring visitation day, I followed mumci there, and I hid under my sister's bunk bed waiting till my mom would forget about me and go back home so I could stay behind
Unfortunately, I was caught in less than 3 minutes🤦
LMAO. Just imagining the lil you under the bed got me laughing hard😁. Seems like something I can do too
DeleteAte chicken yansh by mistake. And my siblings and mum told me i would continue to do olofofo. Men see cry, cried the whole day,till was told it's a lie. But for me that was the end of chicken yansh.
ReplyDeleteAs a little girl,I still remember how I cried so much each time my dad dropped me at school(Aladumo in phc).My drama no be here! I would cry,suck my fingers,sleep and fail ....yes,I was a spoilt brat!
ReplyDeleteI still remember how he cheered me up for having 24th position out of 25 pupils.He was happy that his daughter did not 'carry last'.lol
The day my mum beat me (in my father's absence)until I passed out....wetin I do sef *thinking*
24 out of 25? No wonder you reason the way you do its I .you...itibolibo.
Deletelol.
Delete🤣🤣😂😂😂
Pinklady, hope your dad is still cheering for you. Girls are forever fathers favs.
Delete20.20 I tell you, her reasoning na die!
DeleteEnter your reply...OMG...that was bold...bvs are goin to taunt u with this.
Delete@pexian,my dad died a long time ago and he was my biggest fan.Yeah!
Delete@fuck you,let them taunt me,I no send them.They go tire.😂🤣
May his soul rest in peace. But he surely can't be glad seeing his daughter live in this way. I pray your eyes are opened.
DeleteI pray God touches your heart. I don't know why but I just feel for you in a way I can't explain. I don't know what your experiences have been but I know that God has far far more for you than what you've settled for.
Delete@22:59,Amen.Thank you.
DeleteI am not perfect but I haven't done anything that would put my dad to shame if he were alive and I have made him proud.All his efforts were not wasted.
I pray your eyes are opened too.
that position na 1st 4 st.andrews o..I love aladumo only becos my cuz went there...I be bereton pikin..
DeleteNo parent wants their baby girl to end up as a side chick. Be honest with yourself.
DeleteI remember my first s**. Even with the protection he used, the fear of pregnancy was there all through and then after I got my period, I relaxed.
ReplyDeleteThen u cited a scenario for my friend not using me as example and then she said her mum who is a nurse said u could be pregnant and still be seeing ur period even up to 6 months. Kai, the next 6months was torture for me.
I stayed off sex for a long time after that experience, until well....
Till date I know how to solve HCF and LCM even in my dreams cos that used to be my elder sister’s way of punishing us if we ever squealed on her for using the toilet and not flushing it.
ReplyDeleteMy father used to 'rock' town as a young man. He had this 'joint' that he used to hang out regularly with his friends. I knew cos he would 'gist' my mum everyday being explanation for why he always came home late. Sometimes as late as midnight. I remember always asking him to take me along to 'catch fun'. One evening I hid in his car on the back seat floor about 5 minutes ahead of when I knew he would be going out. The 'joint' place was about 20 mins drive from home. He got there and I waited a little before jumping out of the car and startling him and his friends. I was laughing so hard and felt so fulfilled on a mission accomplished. I don't remember well but he and his friends still remind me till today. I remember crouching at the backseat during the journey, barely breathing for fear of making a sound that would foil my plans, Lol. They said I said to them in Yoruba that "so this is how he comes to town and enjoys himself and never brings me along. They said they were so scared when I jumped out that one of them took to his heels and fled. I was 4 going on 5. He didn't/couldn't stay long. We went back home almost immediately. Meanwhile, the neighborhood had scattered before we got back home. It was 1985, only rich homes had landlines then so nobody could call anybody. My mum had been searching for me. His friends said they started looking at me with side eyes since that day. That this girl must be a 'winch', Lol! They said I used to pretend to read newspapers then too. Imagine, at that age o! He said he always inspected his car very well before going out afterwards.
ReplyDeleteEnter your reply...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...too funny
DeleteLol to the extent one of his friends had to run😂😂😂
DeleteI beg e reach to fear you
Omg this got me laughing hard. Mischievous you.
Delete😆😆😆🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete😀😀😀
DeleteHahahaaaaaa
DeleteOnly you
Startled people full grown man run
Only you chicken boldness (I can imagine your tiny self telling him off in front his friends for not taking you along)
Only you neighborhood scatter as dem dey look for you
Chai
See chicken boldness and spunky confidence
Chai
My uncle will lure me to a corner after food is served, ask me to give him my meat/fish so he could save me the "stress" of chewing. All I had to do was place my hands on his stomach and the meat/fish would go directly into my stomach. I believed him. LMAO!
ReplyDeleteLmao, smh. Ya uncle is a meanie.
Deletesee scam like no other😂😂
DeleteChai I can't forget the day I was returning from school and decided buy fura d nunu,the one those Fulani people sell because I heard it's milk gotten directly from a cow....I was busy sipping it when my parents came home,asked what I was sipping with so much joy,I told her and she plus my pop Started shaking their heads,I'm like what is it?? They explained to me that what I just drank was d main source of blindness that is predominant in d north,and that before morning one or both my eyes must close😭😭...I cried,prayed to Jesus and mother Mary, could not sleep that night,kept my eyes wide open waiting for when it would happen....till I finally drifted with my Bible on my chest,I woke up in d morning thanking God I wasn't blind,ran to show them that God didn't let me go blind😆😆😆,
ReplyDelete😆😆😆😆
Delete😂😂😂😂 Ok you guys I don’t want to choke.
DeleteI was asked to discard dirt, I forgot and slept off..my dad woke me up around 9:00 insisting I trash it, I left with anger without notifying anybody. On my way back I met about 4 estate dogs , I stood still and started crying luckily my elder bro and his friend came just in time. My dad sent them after me.
ReplyDeleteI always wondered how the humans displayed on tv sized in appropriately or how they survived in it.Same way I wondered how humans were able to fit into the radio to air commercials. I thought they were actually there live.
ReplyDeleteout of curiosity,I opened our tv when no one was around. though, I was nervous and thought 'what if these guys jump out and refused to go back in, how am I gonna repress them'. well, I jolted off my worries, man up and when through with my cuckoo mission. after opening the cover and I saw nobody except for some wires, transistors, fuses and the rest, I was flabbergasted and concluded that maybe they were all in the cathode-ray tube of then. after hacking my way futilely around and couldnt succeed in opening the cathode-ray tube, I settled to see what will happen when I plug on the tv. I felt at least, I should be able to feel them move around while talking. sure, I did turn it on and comfortably placed my hand on an exposed fused. It electrocuted me so badly that I froze for a while. phew, I'm done. no one told me to mind my business. but did I? hell no, I switched over to the radio.
Curiosity killed the cat. Lol
Delete😂😂😂😂
DeleteI can so relate to this
😂😂😂
DeleteChai
DeleteHahahahaaaa
The one I did at 7years pls,I will play hide and seek with my peers and a boy of 9yrs will take me to a corner and ask me to lie down,he will climb me and he will say it is jangirovo,I loved it and it continued till we were 11 and 13,we never got caught,he left for boarding school and it stoped.
ReplyDeleteWe moved away to another state,we met again at our mutual friend's mum's burial at age 18 and 21,we both pretended nothing ever happened, we gisted but avoided out bad...we exchanged num and left,last year we finally did it..we made crazy sex but I feel guilty..I am 39 married with kids and he is 41..single
You were both destined to have sex..hahahaha
DeleteI remember walking in on mum and dad making love. mum was on top in her lilac colored nighty. yes I remember that image. it was to be my first day in nursery school. I woke up and in excitement went to meet them. didn't know what time it was. somehow I didn't interrupt. went back to my room.
ReplyDeleteI was 4.
that image stuck.
Anyway, my mum used to cook this delicious Ogbono soup with ponmo and dry fish. So that fateful day she cooked it as usual and we all ate.Later that night I decided to pay a private visit to the pot while everyone was asleep. I had successfully opened the pot and picked a piece of ponmo when I heard footsteps o.I hurriedly threw the ponmo in my mouth and attempted to swallow it. Alas!!! It was too big for my tiny throat so it got stuck. Anyway my sister got to where I was and decided to leave me alone. She didn't even shout or call my mum or beat me sef. She was just looking at me as I was struggling to swallow the ponmo. Tears was just flowing from my eyes. I felt like a frog that swallowed a huge stone. I can't forget that day o. Chai my sister is wicked o
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha
DeleteYou realize you could have died right? 😅
DeleteMy aunt got me dress for Christmas when I was about 7 or 8. I didn't like the dress one bit and I immediately made it very clear LOL. Infact at a point when I was complaining to her I started crying because was disappointed that she got me an ugly dress. Kai my mama was soo embarrassed by my action. When I remember t today I feel ashamed. Since that day I don't think auntie has bought me anything LOL.
ReplyDeleteMore... I want more.... I enjoyed reading all comments. 😀😀😀
ReplyDeleteMe too.
DeleteIt was a prank i will never forget....
ReplyDeleteI got admitted into Federal Government College minna Minna. My uncle lives there so my parents were comfortable letting me go there..so we left onitsha enroute to minna, i was exhausted as journey was never ending. Then when we got to zuba road,my uncle suddenly screamed and asked if i can sight a gaint stone(Zuma rock) ahead of us, i said yes and he said he forget to tell me to bring money, that any human that crosses the giant stone for the first time drops money for it as it was a shrine and that failure to do that the stone will kill you. I asked him to give me money from his pocket and he said i can't use someone's else money.so i decided to cover my face as we approach the stone. I didn't know that the driver and other passengers were listening in on us but kept quiet. Now we got to the stone and driving by when the driver shouted and asked if there is a new comer in this bus as he can see the stone looking at the bus, then the other passengers join him saying that the stone was really looking at us,i raised my head and indeed saw a face on the stone(found out were just marks) looking at us i felt my heart jump out of my body and screamed at the top of my voice begging the stone for mercy and i was asked to hide under the seat in the bus so that the driver can drive fastfa before the face come out very well and catch us. That was how i squeezed under the seat crying and praying till we got to minna.Only to find out it was all a PRANK!!
Awwww
Deletewow, I went to fgc Minna also, 2005 set, purity house, f class
DeleteOur housemaid had just finished ironing I & my brother's cloths, so my brother went over to the hot iron and was playing with it, then I placed my hand on the table and asked him to iron it and he did it.... Mehn.... It really wasn't funny, I still have the burnt scar. Chai kids
ReplyDeleteLol most kids only get to learn the reality of fire burn from their own practical experience
Delete