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Monday, June 17, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmmm...........







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

WALKING AWAY FROM A RELATIONSHIP THAT PUTS 
ONE UNDER PRESSURE

When people walk away from a relationship, please how do they do it, practically?

Dated him for 4yrs now,I believe in keeping d marriage bed undefiled. My first kiss was from him. Like he's my first everything.I am a virgin ,he's not.

I am not comfortable with making out with him, anytime I touch him,just to make him feel happy I feel empty,I can't pray, like I feel so so bad in fact we can finish one bottle of cream.

Yesterday he told me he was visiting, and I told him hope its not cause he wants to feel "good'. And he told me, this time I either give him s#x or he cheats..

He's a good man, but this s#x thing. Hes pushing me and he doesn't want to talk about it.He says After all pastors do it..nobody is holy.. Etc.

I want to walk away, yet 1 day without him is hell.. 

Please I need help. I don't want to keep hurting my conscience, we look innocent to others,but inside the pressure for him to have s#x or touch him na war.

And marriage isn't near self, I hope somebody understands my stand and tell me how best to walk out..




*Hmmmmmmmmm

125 comments:

  1. Just walk, taing each day at a time.....some days the urge to go back will be grea but keep walking

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls walk away my dear, you will be fine.

      Delete
    2. Walk away baby. The one who is on the same wave length with you will come. No need pleasing man over God. What is bad is bad. Don't let the world tell you otherwise. If we all lived by Gods law this world will be an immensely beautiful place

      Delete
    3. A man who really cares and loves you will not pressure you for sex and men like this are the once who rape girlfriends and wives when they say “NO”. If I were you I will take a long walk, but you are not me. What do I know?

      Delete
    4. They keep saying walk away,to where biko,to whom exactly? If you’ve never been in love stop telling people to walk away.im here trying to walk away but it seems like I’m going mental

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    5. Don't mind all this road side girl. Little girls o walk away walk away..four years?.., like you are going to walk in to an all saint.

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    6. Idiots will say walk away, but them stay they fuckk like devil.

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    7. So because some of the responders according to you are doing it, she must?. Shame on him/her who use human as their standard of righteousness. You don't have business dealings with an infallible human but God. Ask yourself..with this your comment, is God clapping for you or shaking his head? Did you just made him proud with your comment or upset? Be very careful with your utterances😒

      Delete
  2. You sound like a TEENAGER!

    If you are, you are not ready for relationship let alone sex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ta shut up there...a teenager because she is not fucking around like you.. not everyone wants to be a baby mama cos this kind of guy na chop and go...

      Delete
    2. Shes not ready for sex!
      Once youre in love, youre ready for a relationship.... infact you'd have little or no choice at all, your heart makes all the decisions for you, mostly wrong but u see them as right. It has nothing to do with being a Teenager.

      Delete
    3. @Perxian
      Fornication is sin; God hates it
      It leads to abortions, guilt like this
      lady is having. . .and suicidal thoughts
      If you entertain yourself with fornication and
      that is your way of life, not everybody has that
      way of life. Some people still have conscience.
      😯😯😯

      Delete
    4. Perxian, So your idea of a relationship is to fornicate?

      Delete
    5. "Once you re in love, you re ready for a relationship"

      I disagree with this especially being a teenager. Hell, even as an adult..being in love doesn't mean you are ready for a relationship.

      Delete
    6. @perxian
      Thank God you mentioned "Hell"
      That's where all the "ready for relationship forkers" end.
      🀐🀐🀐🀐🀐

      Delete
    7. Ughhh! Hi, ANG.

      Bye, ANG. πŸ˜’

      Delete
    8. Can't you people advice her without instigating fear in her? That is manipulation. Tell her why she does not need a man like that. Tell her she needs not pay with something she is not comfortable with in other to be loved. Tell her what this guy is doing is blackmailing her and she should rise and put her foot down. Stop this cheap religious manipulations it's not funny any more. Can't people make vital points without using religion to blackmail the person? The case here is very clear that the guy is no good for her. Persian only deciphered she was a teenager because she said he was her first and a day without him feels like hell. Obviously she sounds young and we should encourage her to esteem herself above the conditional love this guy stands for.

      Delete
    9. @Saphire

      "Cheap religious manipulations" you call it?
      So what guilt and emptiness was she feeling after kisses πŸ’‹πŸ’‹and mpiko eh?
      If anyone is "religious" it is this poster inugo?
      You just siddon type anything that them throway inside ya mind?
      Ajuju ka m juru gi.

      Delete
    10. Saphire, thank you. I like being practical so they wanna crucify me for that.



      Delete
    11. Ajuzina m ajuju enwero isi na odu.

      So without religion/bible you wont know hat is wrong or right? Fear and guilt is not a nice way of making christ-like life embracing and loving.

      Delete
    12. @Perxian
      Thank God you mentioned "crucify"
      Someone has already been crucified for you

      @Saphire
      Ajuju m nwere iru -face
      I see say ya problem na Bible
      Are you theophobic?
      Ajuju nwere isi, odu, n' iru
      "Fear and guilt" were mentioned by the poster, not by the commenters.
      Tell us if you are theophobic and I'd show you some helpful hints inugo?

      Delete
    13. Poster..... in all sincerity, do you blame the guy? You lead him on and pull back, you indulge, then withdraw, to him, you are a vacillator!!! What do you think you are doing? Quenching his appetite? No! You simply igniting the fire and flame of passion while indirectly sending a signal that with more persuasion, a little vexation, incessant probing and consistent petting, you will eventually lose your resolve.

      Yes, the spirit is willing yet the body is weak. Sadly, That is a very vulnerable state to be in. Feed your spirit being more.... You are falling asleep.

      This situation with your boyfriend, is what happens when you speak from the both sides of your mouth. Your actions contradicts your convictions and words. Do you remember this saying "Action speaks louder than words?" I am sure you do. Right now you are passing a very wrong message across.

      You appear to me, as a very whimsical person, and your soon to be ex-boyfriend(hopefully) is banking on that, for he can sense it, that you are SPIRITUALLY weak.

      Your boyfriend wanting sex isn't the crux of the matter, but Your questionable godliness is. It takes a really godly person to know another. Because instead of going through the stress of checking the bible, itself, every now and then, to sort out perceived inconsistencies in potential mates, you already have yourself as a benchmark to compare others with.

      Concerning your question, how do people walk from a relationship, practically? Well, you just do it, cold turkey style... If you are like me.

      When I was a virgin, I met someone I liked in church and I automatically assumed he knew his left from right? Was I wrong? This was someone who preached against premarital sex in church every single day. We were Friends for 7 months. I already liked him at that point till he asked me out and I reminded him, "no sex" .
      He told me point blank he couldn't have a platonic relationship. Well, I smiled and sashayed my merry way home. Blocked him everywhere possible but cried when I got home. I saw him in church the next Sunday and acted like he was non-existent. Yes, You get emotional, but you move on easy.

      I got tired of meeting guys who were religious(most people are anyways, including some pastors, whom your boyfriend has placed on a sinful pedestal to justify his lustful desires) but not godly. And told God that the next man I meet must be the one to tell me no sex before marriage and not the other way round.

      You mentioned he is a good man, what do you mean by "good"? You know a man may be good but not good for you, right?
      Do you mean good according to your standard or God's standard? Good is a 50% out of 100 and that's mediocrity. Is that what you want to settle for? To think you desire his proposal, says a lot about your shaky godly foundation which should be your main focus right now.

      The question is, do you want a godly man or a man who is "just" celibate? I have met a virgin atheist while in school and a celibate lesbian. Even agnostics who were waiting till marriage. So if your boyfriend thinks it through and accept to go by your no sex rule, still, that doesn't make him the one for you.

      The first quality you should look at when a man approaches you, is his walk with God. A man who loves and revere God will love you the way God wants you to be loved for he will always keep him in check for you.That man you described doesn't respect God standard, so why should he respect you, a mere mortal?. He is giving you the boots, because as a professed Christian you don't have a stand. Stop sitting on the fence.


      P.s As a virgin you should always date men who have same biblical conviction be it a celibate or a virgin man.






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    14. @Recherche, You are blessed with wisdom. I enjoyed reading your advice

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    15. Thanks, Engraced.

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    16. @Recherche,that is very good of u for such godly advise.like begets like

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  3. Any man who doesn’t stand with your values is one you shouldn’t be with.
    Walking away from someone you love can be difficult but you need to ask yourself if sticking with him and allowing him have his way would make you happy? Why do you want to displease yourself to please him when he probably wouldn’t do the same if roles are reversed?

    Make up your mind and stuck to it. If you know you don’t want to give up your virginity until marriage then you have to let him go else you’d eventually compromise your happiness to keep the relationship. Let him know you aren’t ready to change your decision and to be honest I don’t think you should wield your virginity as a tool for marriage by giving him ultimatums.

    Someone who wants to be with you would do right by you without you having to fight him or give up your happiness. It’s your choice to deal with the elephant or ignore it at your expense. If you choose to walk away, it would hurt a lot but you’d wake up one day and won’t feel pain anymore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *stick to it!!!!!!

      Delete
    2. *Stick with it.
      You people will be claiming English but you know nothing.

      Delete
    3. *Stick with it.
      You people will be claiming English but you know nothing.

      Delete
    4. hawks dn land to correct...bt the good book said dy shall gather but not by him they shall scatter,see confusion

      Delete
    5. 16:32

      Stick to - persist in/ continue applying oneself to.

      Stick with - continue to support/ be faithful to.

      Stick by - continue to be /remain loyal to.

      All of them are correct with continue as the keyword. What do you even know?? Sheesh!

      Delete
    6. Englishtarians kwenu! Kwenu! Kwezuenu!

      Delete
    7. Battle of Musanga πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      Ngwa o English people let the battle begin πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    8. *stick with you"
      Avant & pussycat dolls

      If he loves you that much, he will STICK WITH YOU and help uphold those values you cherish.

      HadeyHalaba

      Delete
  4. This man is not for you!!

    A man that truly loves you, a Christian will respect God's Word. He will not drag you into sin.

    This man does not care at all for your soul. Why should he, since his is lost already? Madam, love God enough, more than this man, to get out if this bobdage you're in.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Come poster dump him asap. Why the threat? He's of no good biko. This type is the one that will still break your heart after doing the do.
    Since you feel sex & stuffs makes you uncomfortable, like disrupts you prayer life then don't do it, keep your purity till the right guy comes. Just keep your head up high.

    ReplyDelete
  6. My dear. You just have to take the step and walk away. I use to be in a relationship like this when I was in university. He was our fellowship bible study coordinator. I was a choir member. He will preach against pre marital sex, but was always pressuring me to either have sex with him or touch him. I refused the sex, he will ask me to touch him, each time I refuse, he fights with me and wont talk to me for days. He says I'm too holy, I don't know what others are doing in their fellowship, that it's no big deal, God will forgive us if we do it. That I'm not exposed. Bla bla. He will fight with me till when he misses me. The relationship was ruining me spiritually. When God delivered me, I just became bold and walked out. And I didn't miss him. Pray to God to deliver you, end the relationship and find something else to occupy your mind with. After a week or two, you will get to start adjusting to the new status one way or another

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. End time spirikoko people everywhere

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    2. Forget this end time spirikoko talk! This is the reality of Christian Life especially as a young unmarred person.

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    3. I cry for today's youths,don't mind them u did right by sticking to God's word,run away from fornication.

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  7. I think i've read this somewhere though...
    Nne there's no best way to walk away, just start with a few steps..
    True love doesn't pressure....

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  8. Make I ask question n' ese okwu o
    Wetin be finish one bottle of cream?
    Mmmmhhh
    Nne, persin who is forcing you to have sex does not love you.
    HE IS SELFISH AND LOVE IS NOT SELFISH.
    "Pastors who fornicate are going to hell", Jesus said it.
    "You feel empty after im don suck ya boobies" because, the Spirit of God whom you grieved left. Without him you can't pray πŸ™
    or do any spiritual things.
    Look nne, it is time to legitimately
    offload this guy that is causing you
    so much pain and guilt. Guilt can precipitate any disease under the sun
    including cancers o.
    And dear hell is real.
    "A without him..." is not hell, it is peace, if you decide to obey God.
    πŸ§—‍♀️πŸƒ‍♀️πŸƒ‍♀️πŸƒ‍♀️πŸƒ‍♀️πŸƒ‍♀️FLEE FORNICATION, every other sin you commit is outside your
    body but she that fornicates sins
    against her body which is the temple of God.
    God will destroy anyone that destroys his temple.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Raecheche welcome oh

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    2. @15:33
      Abeg, wetin be that first thing wey you write there?

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    3. Raecheche is a BV responsible for turning the heads of confused youths and redirecting them to christ... she had a way of making u feel guilt and you wont sleep at night

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    4. Not sure that's Recheche.That one is reserved somehow though spirikoko raised to over 500. that one up there is obviously ANG aka SCARLET FORMER TROLL

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    5. "Raecheche, SCARLET..."
      mmmmhhhhhh, e get any name wey una never tag me for this blog?
      Ajuju ajua
      All these people na the people una bully commot for sdk blog?
      Ajuju no 2
      Una get long journey o, very very long journey with me...
      πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  9. Don't walk out,let him know how you feel spiritually everytime you let him touch you.

    Stay strong and dont buckle under the pressure.
    if he gives the ultimatum of he wants to go and cheat then just know that he isn't the man God designed for you and so prepare your heart to let him God.

    A man who loves you will not let you sin against God just to please his fleshly desires.

    LEPπŸ˜›

    ReplyDelete
  10. Sweetheart walking away from a relationship is not always easy, mostly when you have spent some time with the person

    Please don't do anything out of pressure,do it because you are ready for it

    Start avoiding him, with time you will get used to staying without him

    All the best dear

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sister keep it moving. No one has the right to put another person under pressure because he wants se* like seriously? He doesn't love nor respect you believe me. If he does he won't be giving you ultimatum to give him abunga or cheats on you. He's an assh*" just close that chapter bcos you haven't gotten the right one yet. Oshiosco.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What's holding up the marriage? 4years? Please do not give in,I'm talking from experience, he'll lose interest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If he truly loves you and the good man you called him, he won't hurt your feelings or make you feel guilty over an act. If I may ask you, what is the guarantee or assurance he will wife you after the sex? Most women who gave men their virginity were tricked that same way. I will advice you stick to your decision and don't let emotional blackmail lure you into doing it. Four years is enough to pay your dowry or isn't he working?

      Please I will advice again, follow your conscience at this point. Trust me, you will be heartbroken and regret your action if you succumb and he later leave you for another woman. That virginity should be your pride should in case he later walks away from you.

      Delete
    2. I dated a guy for 2 years, always pressuring me for sex. Threatened to have other girls for sex. At some time, I decided I loved him enough to be my first. I was 29. Both of us were job hunting.
      Guess what? When he saw he was my first, he said I was frigid!
      When I remember it... One of the things that gave me the courage to leave him when I did.
      Please, leave him. Such an important decision shouldn't be on his terms. You know what? Anyone that threatens you with cheating will do it either way.

      Delete
    3. Anon 15:48 the last line in your comment said it all. A man that threatens you to cheat, will definitely cheat in marriage.

      Delete
  13. A good man want you to have sex and be in pain and guilt while he "enjoys himself?"
    How do you girls define "good?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Youre clueless!
      There an inexplainable bond sex creates, i know cus ive felt it, i was also in a 3yrs relationship with a girl, she was a virgin like this poster as well, initially i agreed to the no sex thing, till it became unbearable, the closer & attached i got to her the stronger i wanted to bond with her completely, you can never feel completely bonded with a person without sex, if u like do all the foreplays u learn from kama sutra... so i started asking her nicely, then it turned to pressure & brainwashing, which wasnt right till she sat me down & made her stands known and also reminded me of my initial agreement.... i knew she wouldnt cave even after all my gifts & promises which were genuine by the way, i trully loved her no doubt & plans to marry her, but i couldnt take that risk of waiting till wedding night to unveil, i totally underestimated her strength to remain chaste... so i told her it wouldnt work out, no hard feelings, it was so hard for the both of us to move on....
      So i had to do something drastic, i cheated and sent her pics of the other gal wearing my boxers on my bed, that was the only way to push her away!

      Delete
    2. Madame Koinkoin17 June 2019 at 17:56

      I am happy you used your anus to reason and gave yourself a heartbreak

      Delete
    3. Uncle Anon... I am very sure that you regret your action everyday. She really deserved better.
      Come and prove me wrong....#longhisssssss#

      Delete
  14. Don't walk out,let him know how you feel spiritually everytime you let him touch you.

    Stay strong and dont buckle under the pressure.
    if he gives the ultimatum of he wants to go and cheat then just know that he isn't the man God designed for you and so prepare your heart to let him God.

    A man who loves you will not let you sin against God just to please his fleshly desires.

    LEPπŸ˜›

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good yarns @Tohtoh chopper
      But Tohtoh chopping na fleshly desires of an apostate order
      Hope you know?
      Ajuju n'ese okwu
      πŸ…πŸ…πŸ…πŸ…πŸ…πŸ…πŸ…

      Delete
  15. Does he rape you? see leave him,in fact block him on all sides.
    Its good that you heart is pricking you.
    Just look for a way somehow and block him.

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  16. Please dear, you owe it to yourself to keep to the commitment you made. If anything happens, unplanned pregnancy, infectious disease or breakup i can assure you that you will blame yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Hmmm,one guy I made the mistake of sleeping with because of pressure, I still regret it till today. Wasted two years of my time meanwhile he only kept promising marriage with no move.Tufiakwa! Please wait for your man.

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  18. Lemme shock you sweet lady--- Once that man gets what he's asking for, you will never ever see his brake light again! Talking from experience o. At least you know he is not a virgin and I am sure he is already chopping someone else. If he loves you, let him WAIT or MARRY properly!
    He has been so nice coz he knows what he is looking for and has been patient but it seems its taking to long for you to succumb now hence he pestering you. DO NOT GIVE IN! He is a scam!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All men are not the same, thats how i pressured my then girlfriend for sex, after 1yr and few months she gave me, she assumed i'd leave her or start misbehaving, lai lai... i loved her more after the sex, i respected her and trusted her. Guess what, she cheated.... i forgave her, she started saying she feels unclean around me, and she doesnt deserve me, i wasnt even mentioning it again, then she broke up with me.

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    2. I beg make we hear word,you respected her and still pressurised her for sex.

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    3. Please shut the fuck up!! He is a scam? Do you know him? That your own left, doesn't mean this poster's guy is gonna leave. All these emergency special advicers wey full this blog. Poster might resist, break up with the guy and still fall into the wrong hands, then oh had I known Will enter.

      Delete
    4. No, She won't fall into the wrong hands, if her walk with christ is strong and her faith unwavered. Walking with God is very rewarding.
      She will meet God's best for her in due time, but she needs to get back in track with God first.
      Right now she is all over the place avoiding the only place she should be, which is, in God's presence. A place we all know, she would eventually run to... when the die is cast. Someone who pushes you to sin isn't God's desire for you. A man who doesn't care about your soul, should never have your body.

      Delete
  19. Enter your comment...advice won't make sense, its a personal decision, ur body ur virginity ur whatever

    ReplyDelete
  20. If you have made up your mind not to have sex before marriage. Then you need to take a stance. If it means walking away from the relationship, please do. There is no easy way to walk out. When you are ready, you just walk out dear. I hope this helps

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  21. World people will encourage you to do it,but there's blessing and peace of mind in abstaining from fornication.Obey God first!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
      Bingo don turn preacher?
      Is bingo also among the prophets?
      Ezogbo ajuju
      Good yarn Bingo nkita 🀐🀐🀐

      πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    2. There is peace in purity , that great feeling of being able to pray , not worry about any kind of STDs and STIs. most importantly the joy that you derive from cleanliness

      Delete
  22. You finish one bottle of cream?! Doing what? Mixing salad or coleslaw? My dear, you and that man are not on the same footing. You want to serve God but he is a major detractor in your life. He is even trying to confuse you by referring to Pastors who do it. He is even threatening to cheat unless you give in. Who does that? He must be a devil's advocate sent from the pit of hell to come and deviate the course of your destiny. My advice to you is to embark on 7 days fast to seek the face of your creator on this matter. And make sure you don't render ineffective your fast by indulging in cream business with anybody o!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Poster, just do you!


    Never give in to pressure from Friends and family.... Least of all, your boyfriend.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I went through exactly this, I broke up my relationship with my ex because he kept on presurring and I met husband who waited till marriage. My husband respected my no sex rules and waited for 6 years on our wedding night to have sex with me for the first time (i was a virgin too). He never forced or nagged me for sex in those 6 years. Although, we kissed and make out sometimes and I noticed he is not impotent (the "something" rise up :). and our sex life has been amazing.

    so my advice, have sex with him only if you want to, a man that loves you will not give you such ultimatums. He might cajole you or seduce you sef but not to give an ultimatum.

    Think of the worst case scenario, how will you feel if he leaves you after having sex with you, will you hate yourself for indulging in it or will you say that oh well, i wanted to have sex with him too anyways so, no biggie... your answer will determine whether it is worth to give it up in order to keep him.

    ReplyDelete
  25. People have different reasons for going into relationships.
    What are your reasons?
    You feel empty anytime you touch him?
    Why are you still with him?
    One day without him is hell. You obviously do not know what you want. Please leave him so you can keep your virginity intact before he takes it forcefully.
    Allow him cheat cos obviously you are punishing him. 4 years without sex is no joke...when he’s not a nonsexual.


    ReplyDelete
  26. You feel terrible touching him, imagine how you'll feel if you give yourself to him.
    the 1st red flag is that both of your are not on the same page spiritually (something you hold dear to you). A man who genuinely loves you will never threaten you with cheating on you. Giving yourself to him won't stop him either.
    You cannot be tempted beyond your ability. You will surely regret if you do. Anybody who advises otherwise wants you to join "da bi mose da" club.
    About not being able to leave him, trust me, the first month is the hardest. It'll become an unpleasant memory someday.

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  27. Please let him go, he is not meant for you. Pray and wait for your soul mate, he will definitely come

    ReplyDelete
  28. Poster walk away. Any relationship that puts you under stress has already failed from very beginning. 1 day without him will obviously be hell since you seem to love him. So will 2days, 2months, 6months or even a year. Until one day you'll realize that you don't need him and you're happier without him and sticking to your decision was the best thing that ever happened to you. No one should ever be forced to give up his/her virginity. For once, think about you.

    ReplyDelete
  29. lmao...I can imagine you rubbing his dick to help him cum....my dear daughter this guy is a scam.. he doesn't love you.. just tell him no sex and leave him alone. lol...he is even cheating by the way already he just hasn't confessed yet

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  30. Well why dating when you know you are not ready to marry now ,this is the pressure long courtship give to people,my advice don't do it.i courted my wife for six years without sex but I can say it is not easy and now that am married for 16years I now know that sex is overrated,your conscience matters.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mine was 4 years. We married as a virgin, blessed with a child... basking in the euphoria of Grace. @OP don't do it. It is an honor when you give in to sex when you are fully ready, and not someone pressuring you to have sex when you are not ready.

      Delete
  31. Mine is I'm not a virgin, but just decided to close my legs. He agreed to the no sex relationship, but the relationship wasn't so pleasant at first but we are getting there. This the guy that rejected the term earlier on, but after two years he came back and i was single then and he ready to settle and like wise me.

    It not easy as we try so much not to be so close physically cos me ehhh I'm standing very firm oh.. So poster let him go and never compromise, a man that loves you, will definitely understand how you feel. Funny enough no marriage is in view

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  32. Four years is too long and he has not done anything but threatening you with sex. He is a foolish man

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I used to think you are one sensible human being here o. Agbaya

      Delete
  33. How old are you?
    What's your reason for going into Te relationship? To play ludo as read Bible?
    If you don't want to have sex, leave him alone and let him find his match.

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    1. Thank youπŸ‘πŸΏ All of a sudden we have saints here.
      He’s a bad and wicked man now cos he wants sex. Really!!!

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    2. Thank you Don
      Carry ur nyash go remain 4 your house if youre not ready for sex, no be by force!!!!
      4yrs no sex, the guy try

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    3. He’s s bad man because she told him from the start

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    4. Were you there when she told him from the start? @ anon 18:41

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  34. What do you want us to tell you? You already know the right thing to do. Besides what are you doing in an intimate relationship if you can't handle the pressure that comes with it?

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  35. pray to God the holy spirit will minister to you,God don't put his own to shame he will comfort you through the walking away period. my dear your body is the temple of God and must be kept holy/clean I wish I have this opportunity of walking away, it pity I met God quite late like when nothing was working out my pilot bf would not give me the ring, the immigration bf will not give me the ring neither until I met him God, got married to my Husband without stress and demand for sex. Pray with all your heart and he will lead you. take care. NK

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  36. Your body is the only "instrument" that is your own (yea its Gods property too). You feed it, clean it, accessorise it, nurse it... e.t.c. You and only you get to make the final decisions of what you allow into your body (except exceptional cases of force, which is illegal). That man giving you an ultimatum to have your body is an ass (sorry I know you love him), do not fall for that cheap blackmail, its the oldest trick in the books. If you will have sex, do so because you want to (scripturally premarital sex is a sin if you're a Christian though), do not think sex will keep this man. A man who is not afraid of losing you should not be with you. Cheers to making right decisions hun!

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  37. "And he told me, this time I either give him sex or he cheats..." "he is a good man..." These lines are as contradictory as a person claiming to be an "honest thief". Perhaps your definition of a "good man" is inaccurate and unreliable. It's understandable though, you catching feelings and all that, being objective is an unrealistic expectation. My darling, a good man will not threaten to cheat on you. That's emotional blackmail. I find it disrespectful that he could tell you that. It's not like he needs your permission to cheat because I believe he has been having sex with other ladies. Trying to use your fears to manipulate you into giving up the "cookie" is just mean.

    Now, to you, my sweet, what the hell are you doing in a 4 year old relationship where marriage is not even in sight, with a man who isn't celibate and you claim to be a virgin and celibate? Why test yourself and tempt God? If you really have the values you claim to have, why not date a guy with similar values? There's a reason the "christian dating" rarely exceeds a year and house visits are usually chaperoned. They know how easily the strongest Christian can fall for the fleshy desires if he/she surrounds himself/herself with " temptations". How realistic is a relationship between a virgin and a non-virgin with the appetite for sex?

    So you really think you can walk away from this your 4 year relationship where he is like your everything and a day without him is hell, according to you. How deliciously naivè of you! You've already opened the door to fleshy desires with your making out with him and touching him to make him feel happy( I'm guessing handjobs with happy endings as well as blowjobs) and finishing a bottle of cream. I don't know why most virgins feel that the sin is in penetrative sex? Sweetheart, that bed is already defiled with your finished bottle of cream. So when you make him cum, what exactly do you think you are doing? Lol! No wonder the relationship lasted this long.

    Darling, most times we complicate things which, ordinarily, ought not to be complicated. You stick with your kind, date a guy with similar values. When you want to keep the bed undefiled, you don't even date until both of you are ready for marriage. If you want to keep the Biblical rules, keep them religiously. If you choose the circular route, then by all means have at it, but you can't mix both and not expect to be conflicted, the way you are now.

    I can't tell you how to walk away because you are already in too deep. It's either he dumps you by divine arrangement or you cry to God in true repentance. You have to choose between your boo and your faith, which means more to you? Good luck sweetie.
    e-hugs and kisses.

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    1. Its the thought of the pain during penetration that scares them most times... if breaking the hymen was less painful alot of girls wouldnt be virgins

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    2. * secular route

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    3. anonymous 16:43 honey, I know about 3 "virgins" who claim they want to remain virgins until they marry, due to religious beliefs. Two of them do not believe blowjob is a sin because they aren't being penetrated. The 3rd is even more radical, she engages in anal sex to please her boyfriend but she says she is a virgin because her hymen is still intact. Unbelievable!

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    4. Ronalda, why not consider being a relationship counselor?! U re definately gon touch/change lives...

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    5. All these advice Ronalda gives yet we still see same chronicles daily being recycled, what does that tell you? People dont learn from others mistakes, and they dont take advice.. they do what they like.

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  38. Hi dear, I'm happy about your stance in this issue. Trust me, if your heart condemns you, then what you are doing is wrong. I believe you are very young and if your relationship is all about kissing, necking and petting, it's not advisable to continue. You didn't tell us if you have time to discuss other important issues like compatibility, trust and career building on your part and his too. Sex is better enjoyed in marriage as God has designed it to be.
    For someone like him who is pressurising you, that's a red flag so please do not give in. If you do eventually, the guilt is usually unbearable. I'm talking based on my experience. This is because your heart is still pure, please let it remain so.

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  39. You're to blame my dear. No sex, yet you finish a whole bottle of Vaseline!!! Doing what?!!! You're two-faced and that's why he is giving you the ultimatum. If truly you're a xtian, ask God for forgiveness and tell him(your guy) as politely as you can that you're sorry for leading him on. That you just realized that going halfway itself was bad enough and you won't be doing any form of formication with him again.

    I personally don't believe in too much spirikoko. If you're 18 and you believe you're ready to deal with the consequences of premarital sex, then by all means go ahead. These may include:

    1. Disappointment in your expectations from the act. Most women are disappointed initially. Not as sweet as expected.

    2. Potential heartbreak which is inevitable. I don't know how to explain this but your immaturity will affect the outcome of the sex and both of you will still break up eventually.

    3. Heartbreak: yes consequently.

    4. Risk of STDs and unwanted pregnancy

    5. Guilt and risk of resultant decline in your self esteem.

    If you're not mature enough to handle all of these, stay away from sex for now madam. Let him go if he wants. Moving on is not that difficult. Let yuor NO be NO. Stop staying in secluded places with him.

    Beware that the cycle will remain the same when you meet another man, however. They all need sex.

    Ultimately sha, don't have sex until you're ready and mature enough to deal with the consequences. And stop sniffing what you won't eat. Physically you may be a virgin, but your mind is already infected and corrupt. In your mind, you've done the do already. Stop suffering the man, abeg!

    Meanwhile, he is cheating already.

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  40. Where do you go when tempted? Go to the one who says, come to me and I will give you rest. Go to Jesus and receive grace. Our help is in his name. With God purity and chastity are possible.

    You can only avoid premarital sex by dating someone who has the exact same values or someone who wants to try. The pool is very small, believe me. And when you date them, you have to avoid spending nights in their house, being alone together, kissing and smooching and all of that. Make all those rules at the beginning of the relationship. If you turn on the fire, you will burn.

    You also have to say a prayer for purity daily. Also avoid pornography, erotic novels and videos, vulgar internet and so on. Fill your heart with the word so the enemy will have nothing on you.

    Finally this guy iz not for you. Break up with him and forgive yourself for what you've already done. The enemy will try to attack you with feelings of guilt but you are free of his grip cos Jesus paid the debt in full. All the best dear.

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  41. This man has been cheating in this 4 yrs so don't give in to that cheap blackmail.

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  42. That is how this man started pressuring me oo, just a week in a relationship guy man no gree me rest. See vexation, I bit him on the chest, scratched all this body he thought I was mad and was in a shock. Till today those marks are still showing and he's always teasing me about it. It's been 7years together (3years married), 2 kids and I'm still stingy with sex🀣🀣🀣🀣its not food biko

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  43. *sigh* there are more problems in the country mahn!
    You will love and unlove, and love and repeat the bloody cycle. sing this song to youurself 'there are 1 million bicycles in Beijing'

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  44. My sister, walk away. This is coming from someone has been there. Both of you are not compatible. If he's looking for sex, let me go and pay someone to give him (I'm pretty sure he's already having it sef). Evaluate the relationship, what other things are you not comfortable with. I sense you're scared. Start thinking about what your life purpose is. Does he fit into it? Do you want to suffer? Put yourself first and then you will receive the courage to walk away.

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  45. Dearest Poster, Please leave that relationship now. Any relationship based on sex wont last. I pray Almighty God help you.

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  46. To me though, poster is just a hypocrite. Imagine you finish one bottle of cream, for what? That is as good as doing the main thing. Sex is not just about the 'thrusting'. Do it if u are ready, walk out if not. Stop all these religious bla bla bla

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  47. Have serif you want. The Ten Commandments says don’t commit adultery, it doesn’t say don’t have sex before marriage
    Before you say what of what Paul said aboutvfornication , research and you’ll see he wasn’t talking about sex before marriage

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    Replies
    1. I love how you twist God's word. It's either you lack knowledge or you are just catching thrills. Whatever mehn!! Whatever🚣‍♂️🚣‍♂️🚣‍♂️🚣‍♂️

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  48. PLEASE WALK AWAY MY DEAR

    IF THIS MAN FUCK YOU

    HE WILL DUMP YOU

    I SLEPT WITH MY HUSBAND ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT FIRST

    COS HE AGREED TO WAIT

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  49. i started having sex at 24yrs of age when i was ready and not cajoled. pls take a walk becos he is not for you. A man that loves you wont pressure you for sex, he will marry you legally.

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  50. You said marriage is not near. So why are you in a relationship. For your sanity I think you should stay off relationships until both parties are ready for marriage so that the wait is not so long which usually leads to temptation. We are humans you know

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  51. Walk away.
    A good man will not threaten to cheat on you for choosing to abide by your abstinence vows.
    He's blocking you from meeting the love of your life, let him go.

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  52. Nne, all you need to finie is just make up your mind and take a long walk without looking back. If you truly love and respect yourself and peace of mind, please do not look back. Block all forms of communication if possible get anew sim and stay off SM for now till the dust has settled.

    Xoxo

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  53. Both of you are not in same What's up Group..
    You better walk away from him if you are not ready for sex..
    He is sexually active but you are not so let him go to avoid stories that touches the heart...

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  54. Hi Poster..... in all sincerity, do you blame the guy? You lead him on and pull back, you indulge, then withdraw, to him, you are a vacillator!!! What do you think you are doing? Quenching his appetite? No! You simply igniting the fire and flame of passion while indirectly sending a signal that with more persuasion, a little vexation, incessant probing and consistent petting, you will eventually lose your resolve.

    Yes, the spirit is willing yet the body is weak. Sadly, That is a very vulnerable state to be in. Feed your spirit being more.... You are falling asleep.

    This situation with your boyfriend, is what happens when you speak from the both sides of your mouth. Your actions contradicts your convictions and words. Do you remember this saying "Action speaks louder than words?" I am sure you do. Right now you are passing a very wrong message across.

    You appear to me, as a very whimsical person, and your soon to be ex-boyfriend(hopefully) is banking on that, for he can sense it, that you are SPIRITUALLY weak.

    Your boyfriend wanting sex isn't the crux of the matter, but Your questionable godliness is. It takes a really godly person to know another. Because instead of going through the stress of checking the bible, itself, every now and then, to sort out perceived inconsistencies in potential mates, you already have yourself as a benchmark to compare others with.

    Concerning your question, how do people walk from a relationship, practically? Well, you just do it, cold turkey style... If you are like me.

    When I was a virgin, I met someone I liked in church and I automatically assumed he knew his left from right? Was I wrong? This was someone who preached against premarital sex in church every single day. We were Friends for 7 months. I already liked him at that point till he asked me out and I reminded him, "no sex" .
    He told me point blank he couldn't have a platonic relationship. Well, I smiled and sashayed my merry way home. Blocked him everywhere possible but cried when I got home. I saw him in church the next Sunday and acted like he was non-existent. Yes, You get emotional, but you move on easy.

    I got tired of meeting guys who were religious(most people are anyways, including some pastors, your boyfriend has placed on a pedestal to justify his lustful desires) but not godly. And told God that the next man I meet must be the one to tell me no sex before marriage and not the other way round.

    You mentioned he is a good man, what do you mean by "good"? You know a man may be good but not good for you, right?
    Do you mean good according to your standard or God's standard? Good is a 50% out of 100 and that's mediocrity. Is that what you want to settle for? To think you desire his proposal, says a lot about your shaky godly foundation which should be your focus right now.

    The question is, do you want a godly man or a man who is "just" celibate? I have met a virgin atheist while in school and a celibate lesbian. Even agnostics who were waiting till marriage. So if your boyfriend thinks it through and accept to go by your no sex rule, still, that doesn't make him the one for you.

    The first quality you should look at when a man approaches you, is his walk with God. A man who loves and revere God will love you the way God wants you to be loved for he will always keep him in check for you.That man you described doesn't respect God standard, so why should he respect you, a mere mortal?. He is giving you the boots, because as a professed Christian you don't have a stand. Stop sitting on the fence.


    P.s As a virgin you should always date men who have same biblical conviction be it a celibate or a virgin man. Stella please post. Thanks.

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  55. @Recherche God bless you, ur comment strengthen my decision thanks alot

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    Replies
    1. Amen and you too. May God reward you immensely as you abide by his word. Amen.

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  56. Allowing him to visit you,you both all alone in a room is a huge temptation. Most men find it difficult to have a no sex relationship. I am experiencing this right now. They stay at first,once they realize how serious you are,they run! Lols. Especially when when marriage is not in sight. They usually return years later begging. Lols. Love is a scam!

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