My friend lives in a compound of 4 flats, and one of the tenants is a radiologist. She has been having some challenges conceiving and was advised to do HSG. She spoke to her neighbor about it and he gave her some good counsel, assured her it won't be as painful as she thought because she was already crying in fear of the pains.
So after the neighbor finished talking to her, she decided to do the procedure. She told her hubby about it and he was glad she wasn't so scared anymore, so he asked her where she would like to do it and she said at their neighbor's clinic of course.
She said I needed to see the look on her husband's face, he was alarmed and the following conversation ensured.
HUSBAND: So you feel ok to open your Vjay for our neighbor.
WIFE: Of course I don't, but he has assured me he will be gentle...
HUSBAND: (Cuts in) Gentle with what? Your Vjay?
WIFE: I wonder why you are sounding like this, you know how long it took me to make up my mind to go for this procedure. When I will eventually want to give birth won't it be a male doctor that will do it? Also you know our neighbor is a good God fearing man, apart from being our neighbor he is like a brother to you.
HUSBAND: So it's ok for my brother to see you naked.
They went back and forth with the argument, she said her husband's main issue wasn't that a man would not see her Vjay but for that their neighbor to see her. He said he won't be comfortable with the neighbor after then. Because they are really very close, they watch football matches in each other's houses.
Anyway my friend told her husband that she will tell their neighbor that she wasn't comfortable with him doing it, that he should get someone else in his clinic to do it.
The neighbor eventually did it for her but she lied to her husband that he got somebody else to do it. She said he feels her husband didn't believe her but he couldn't handle the truth so he let it slide for his own peace of mind.
I told her that wasn't the only place in town and she she have gone somewhere else,she said it wasn't easy for her to open herself to him, that shame nearly killed her, but she believed him when he said he was going to be gentle and I know her threshold for pain. She said she avoided the neighbor in the compound for days untill the shame started wearing off.
For some,a male Doctor is no big deal,for some,that is a no go area!!!
I don’t blame her hubby for feeling that way. I’d feel same way too.
ReplyDeleteWhy did she choose her neighbor?
Is he the only radiologist in that town?
Or there’s more to it?
If her hubby finds out later on that she disrespected him, would she be able to handle whatever comes with it?
I tell you, my hubby refused me going to a hospital that is cost effective cos his friend way back from sec school works there lol...
DeleteHe said he rather spends more in the other hospital than have his friend see me naked during delivery.
No big deal so far its not my blood brother 😁.
ReplyDeleteShe should have gone to another doctor and not the neighbour. She tried o, I cannot instead I’ll go somewhere else
ReplyDeleteWhen you are at the point of life and dead you will not even think of who is attending to you. My doctor friend was to check me when I was hospitalized, the day I was strong refused to open my body for him to do a proper check up. The nurses has to drag my pant for him to check the level of bleeding I was having before the surgery will commence.
ReplyDeleteIn the theater what else can I cover, after surgery do I have strength to cover anything? Everyday he comes to check me at my room till I was discharged, shame left me. You can only feel shy and refused a man doctor to check on you when you have life not on emergency cases.
I refused a young male doctor to carry out vaginal examination. I told to forget about it.
ReplyDeleteI allow my male friend doctor to check up on me, if he is good what is my own? Sabi after attending to me that will be all.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't allow cos I will feel ashamed after. Yuck
ReplyDeleteI couldn't have done HSG with a neighbor doctor
ReplyDeleteThat procedure involves you opening up like delivery
I won't be comfortable.
For a male doctor to ever touch me in Nigeria (and even outside Nigeria)
ReplyDeletena only when DH dey there, I no want tell stories that touch.
I've once escaped rape, so I get chills when I am alone with any male in
a room.
For private hospitals, even if the nurses dey there, no show as the doctor
be them employer.
I've told the story of the male doctor that was to examine me during ANC
and how his finger was lingering there, his breathing changed. I shouted that he should
"remove that finger osiso before I shout more and bring in his nurses..."
Dude crouch come bulge like say them put big plantain there o... shuoooooorrr! 😯😯😯
Come see profuse apologies... im never see smooth nyansh before? 😊😊😊😊
Hahahaha
Delete😁😁😁😁😁
DeleteMy Inlaw is one of the best gynaecologist in my state, and he doesn't check relatives or inlaws he only refer them to his Assistant. But have told my sis when I'm married and expecting, he the one that will check me oh, i don't just care, afterall he a doctor.
ReplyDeleteThat how my sis had lump in her breast, my inlaw gave the surgery to his Assistant, who is also a consultant, i told my sis no gree oh, tell him you want him. And my sis grow up with them, so she like his daughter too. But me i no care oh, whoever i know i will be safe with oh, i don't mind
I once had to do a breast scan
ReplyDeleteUpon entering the radiology room where it was to be done, I saw a young male doctor who is our family friend. I didn't know what a breast scan entailed. So I didn't know I was to tale off my clothes. I gisted with him and laughed heartily, until I was asked for my chaperone and asked to take off my clothes. What!!!!!!! I told them my mum had gone off and I couldn't find her, I pleaded with a female doctor I saw in the room to please stay with us and do it for me. She refused, saying she had to do an HSG on a patient that was waiting. After plenty begging , She agreed to do it for me, if the male radiographer will help her perform the HSG. that was how, the young male doctor left. I took off my clothes and sat naked while they did the scan. When she couldn't find anything, she called out to the male radiographer who came in and checked also. Shame wanted to kill me. If it had been my male family friend, I would never have recovered from the shame. Cuz I see him every freaking day. Gosh!! !!!!
I think patients should have the option of seeing male or female doctors. There should be clinic days that will be handled by specific genders and the patient should be made aware of that.
I will react same way if I'm the husband, she should have gone to another hospital.
ReplyDeleteA neighbor? Thank you but I won't. That pain should kill me because I'm definitely going to another hospital to see a female doctor and I totally understand the husband. What will even make me discuss that with a male doctor?
ReplyDeleteWhen I was going for IVF, shame/flashbacks nearly killed me and I wasn't even bothered with the injections I would take and all but will be stressed over opening leg for another man to be poking up and down. They were very professional and all but then I was upset with it. I was raped at a young age so it wasn't easy for me. My husband stayed beside me all the time and held my hand.
Nigerian are hypocrates,is it nor because of illness that you went there ? Those doctors are they not better than small small rat that you call fiance who are fuckboys who hangs your legs on the window for rice and indomie in return.THat is why many of you will not marry good husband in life because u don't have brain
ReplyDelete