Stella Dimoko Iya Ibeji Series - When Your Teen Crushes On Someone


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Saturday, June 22, 2019

Iya Ibeji Series - When Your Teen Crushes On Someone

Is there a difference between toasting and crushing on someone?

My friend sent her daughter over to my place for me to talk to her, since according to her I was the patient one.

When she came to my house I saw cane marks on her body, her mum had beaten her terribly. I was upset, then she explained what happened.

She had a crush on a boy in her class, they are in JSS3. Her friends knew about it and they told the boy. The boy wasn't interested and told her and she was angry with her friends for telling him. It was the conversation with her friends that her mom saw that resulted to the beating.

I called the mum immediately to express my displeasure, but she had a different mindset about the whole thing, she felt her daughter was asking the boy out.
I had to explain to her the meaning of crush and I told her I was disappointed in her o, later she will be forming butter, ordinary crush she doesn't know.

But my friend was still angry and refused to see the difference between toasting and crushing.

FRIEND: Like it wasn't bad enough that a child of her age wants to have a relationship but she is the one doing the toasting. Na that one pain me pass. That girl doesn't take after me at all.

IYA BEJI: I don't think she is too young, I remember I was crushing on a guy when I was in JSS3

FRIEND: Pleas don't tell her that o.It will give her mind.

IYA BEJI: I already did and that made her open up to me, I asked her if she has ever kissed a guy
(At this point I could hear my friends heatbeat from the phone so I hesitated a bit to torture her small)
No she hasn't, but I was able to talk to her. She told me things like she was talking to her friend and then she said aunty please don't tell my mummy. So I won't be able to tell you everything we discussed.

FRIEND: Iya beji please tell me now let me know what she is up to, children of these days wise pass us.

IYA BEJI: It broke my heart when she said that, I can't imagine my daughter telling someone else to keep such things from me. You should be happy the boy didn't like her back, what if he had told her to send her naked picture and then circulate it round the school. Do you know what would have happened, you daughter would have been too ashamed to go to school and the spirit of sniper would have come calling.

FRIEND: Training up a girl child isn't easy, please help me advice her I don't have your kind of patience, my body dey hot because I no do this type of things until I got to the university.

The conversation was lengthy but let me stop the here. Please parents with female children, try and be your daughter's best friend. You should have seen the way my friend's daughter eyes brigthen when I told her about my crush, it was like finally somebody that understands me.

I have an adopted daughter that is grown and she has told me things that made me wanted to slap her. But I held myself back by saying thank God she told me, what if she has kept this away from me? Then I become calm and I'm able to advise her properly.

Mothers be your daughter's best friend because there are lots of wolves in friend's clothing just waiting to snatch them.


  1. That word "toasting" does not apply grammatically in this conversation as
    it is. "Crushing" is informally used to denote "brief infatuation".

    Now, I've said it multiple times on this blog, if you have a daughter who
    is still in school and you want her
    to concentrate in her studies, do not
    buy her a cell phone! If someone gives her one, seize it. If you consider her disciplined enough and
    she needs one, get one without internet.
    She comes home and begins to "chat and crush..." it was this that the
    mother saw.
    Ngwanu, the dude isn't even interested in her at all. Naija girls
    emebisigo. If you don't, you have signed her wayward warrant with "belles" of unknown goalscorer,
    shoot offs/ even deaths.


  2. Training a girl child is not easy,but like you said Iya Ibeji,the best way is to be their best friend. I don’t have that relationship with my mom(Dear mama is just like your friend,even worse cos she’s very spiritual lol). I pray to do better with my daughter��❤️

  3. Remember when I was crushing seriously on a guy, was in ss 2 then, the said guy was in uni, then.. Wrote it down on my diary, my sister found it gave it to my mother, my whole family beat the crush out of my head and heart.. Me I start to see crush dey run oh.. Avoided him like plaque..

    1. 🀣🀣🀣🀣beat the crush of out your head

    2. Laughing because he beat the crush out of your head interesting

      Chinwe Uba

    3. Hahahahaha that made me laughπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  4. I can imagine your friend right now...I wonder what did she do when the daughter got back homeπŸ€”

  5. Training a girl child indeed is not easy as every parent fear is 'tarnished image' from unwanted pregnancy of a girl child.
    I also had a crush in JSS 3 but didn't even tell my friends about it. I'd rather die. The day this crush asked me out was the day whatever was worrying me faded.
    It's the age, it comes with it. Raging hormones and trying to understand the rapid growth of your body. It happened to the best of us.
    What Parents should do is to be close to their children, Listen to them cos these kids want to be heard too-not only talked to or talked down at. This enables their children talk to them easily about stuff like this.
    I have a teenage neighbor that tells me stuff that gets me shivering sometimes. I try my best possible to advice and not to judge.

  6. Nigerian parents are so disgusting, tufia! Why did she beat her daughter blue black? There’s nothing wrong with having crushes, it’s one of the things attached to being a teenager. When I was a teen, having different crushes was my hobby and there’s always that one over sabi mumu friend that’d always go and spread your gist.
    That aside, Nigerian moms should calm down and be slow to use a whip every time. Not everything is always solved by flogging. Why do they like to act like any issue that has to do with romance and the opposite sex is a taboo? A girl’s teen years is a very sensitive and delicate time for her, this is when a mom should try to be super close and gentle with her daughter so that the girl would be comfortable opening up to her and she could know everything happening to her emotionally and otherwise and be there to advise her soundly. Things like this would make a teenage child bottle up her emotions and look up to friends for advise which is usually disastrous. There’s nothing wrong with having affections for the opposite sex as a young teenager, after all that’s what their hormones are signaling them at that stage to do.
    Mothers should wise up abeg and it’s no wonder that’s its usually the senselessly strict ones whose daughters end up in the family way.

  7. Ohhh God help me ooo.
    3 girls...
    I am always worried not to make a mistake in raising them up.
    They are my world.
    Lord help my kids to always do it right by your will.

  8. God help us His grace, I will do right by my baby girl.

  9. Some mum are not their daughters friends likewise the daughters, so the daughters don't see the need to open up to them because if they do, they will either be beaten or judged.


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