Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Pastor Tony Rapu Writes On Abuse in The Light of The Gospel

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Saturday, June 29, 2019

Pastor Tony Rapu Writes On Abuse in The Light of The Gospel

From child s#xual assault to domestic violence to workplace harassment, abuse destroys countless lives. New stories filled with allegations of s#xual abuse or assault by leaders and prominent persons continue to emerge. The #MeToo phenomenon has drawn significant attention to an issue that many are afraid to talk about. 






Only recently, some young girls spoke out against abuse by young Nigerian boys in UK universities, when they conducted a walk around the Bourdillon, Ikoyi area to bring attention to this issue. This negative trend is now impacting people in our churches and those we are trying to reach with the message of the Kingdom.

I believe many churches desire to get it right on this issue but often do not get involved because leadership may lack the competence to address the problem. Many lack the confidence to address sexual abuse because they don’t feel adequately equipped to handle the complexities involved. Others do not have sufficient training to address the challenges of sexual or even domestic abuse matters throw up. We need to understand how this issue of sexual abuse can be addressed in the light of the Gospel:



Caring for survivors:

Protecting and caring for others was a priority of Jesus Christ in His life and it should be for us today. The effect of sexual abuse cannot be overlooked or minimised. The trauma experienced by a survivor of sexual abuse should drive us to compassionate ministry. Many have never told anyone and I believe when they do, they need to be met with support and care as a first response. Because it is difficult to share, we must be sensitive even to delayed, vague or partial disclosure. Even in cases where it is still an allegation, survivors should still be supported as many innocent victims who have hitherto been shamed into silence are encouraged to voice their pain. There is no quick fix to this trauma. So we need to work patiently, not shaming the survivors, but allowing time for grief. If we do not respond appropriately to issues of abuse, we will end up bringing greater pain that traumatize the individuals, and we would never be able to effectively address this issue.



Confronting sin:


We must call sexual abuse sin. Since we understand God’s design for sexuality, it will be sad if the world were more willing than the Church to name and address the issue of sexual abuse. Sexuality was created by God for our good. When we understand the beauty of what God designed, we can appreciate the devastating effects of sexual abuse. We cannot ignore or cover the matter. Properly dealing with sin like this reflects what we believe about God and the Gospel. When prominent personalities in the world do not offer apologies for their actions, it provides a backdrop for the Church to discuss what genuine repentance should look like. Confronting sin means we are being honest when things go wrong in the Church. We must evaluate what went wrong in order to make appropriate changes in situations of abuse. It is never late to do the right thing.



Seeking justice:


Abuse is not just a sin. It is also against the law in many countries. As we have seen in cases globally where there is an attempt to cover up abuse, it is usually in a bid to avoid a scandal. Unfortunately, this produces a system that empowers and protects abusers and in the end it is the abused, particularly minors, who suffer. We need to be more concerned about dealing with sexual abuse in a way that cares for survivors and demonstrates justice rather than with the fear of what a scandal might produce. We must recognize sexual abuse as a sin but also something that goes beyond the jurisdiction of the Church. This is where many organisations make a mistake by trying to handle sexual assault allegations internally. Some have blamed survivors, even those who were children at the time of the abuse and have often pressurised them to forgive rather than seek justice. There is a sense of not wanting other people to know. We don’t want to air our dirty laundry in public. But we must never pressure survivors into forgiveness. Yes, we do need forgiveness; but we must not use forgiveness to undermine the severity of sexual abuse and keep survivors quiet.




Protecting the vulnerable:


We must look for ways to improve our effort to prevent and stop abuse. We can protect the vulnerable through sexual abuse awareness training. We need to demonstrate that the Church is a safe place both in preventing abuse, protecting the vulnerable, and getting help for those abused. We have a God who cares for the vulnerable and hears their cries. We as His people should be like Him. The Church should be the place where victims of sexual assault find help and hope. Training on how to identify sexual abuse and respond to survivors will help members navigate this difficult topic in a Christ-centered approach. We have a long way to go in not shaming the abused. We have been too afraid of being attacked by outsiders and too focused on maintaining our image. The truth is that addressing sexual abuse gives us the opportunity to acknowledge our sins and our need of a Saviour. It also demonstrates the nature of God to a broken world.
from tonyrapu.com

25 comments:

  1. Oluwa will save his people, end time signs everywhere.

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  2. This pastor said nothing. How do these people get followers?

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  3. To me train your kids to learn to help themselves.
    tRUST NO ONE WITH YOUR KIDS.
    MAID AND I ARE ON A LONG THING
    PLS COME AND CLEAN WHEN I AM HOME NOT WHEN I AM OUT.
    MOTHERS WE ALWAYS HAVE WHAT WE CALL MOTHERLY INSTINCTS..
    NEVER YOU DEBUNK IT.
    IT HAS SAVED MY FIRST DAUGHTER.
    GUIDE UR KIDS WITH ALL JEALOUSY.
    PROVIDE FOR THEM.
    DO NOT OVER EXPOSE Them.
    Omtola bought her daughter her first car at 22.
    Infact parents be alert!!!!!!!.
    Watch changes in ur kids.
    Pray!pray!pray!!!
    Be alert !!!!
    Be your kids besties..
    If my kids ask me who are my best friend I tell them they are....and I tell them even as tender as they are to confide anything in me.
    They can tell me anything and I have their backs for forever.
    I ALWAYS TELL THEM.
    MY SECOND KID IS NOT AS ACTIVE AS HER SENIOR SISTER BUT I DO NOT ALLOW ANY FORM OF INTIMIDATION.
    TELLING HER SHE IS SLOW OR COMPARING HER IS PROHIBITED .
    I KEPT MALICE WITH HUBBY FOR ONE WEEK TILL HE VOWED NEVER TO COMPARE.
    I LET THEM KNOW WE LOVE THEM LIKE THAT...
    Things are happening....
    KNOW UR KIDS!LET THEM BE FREE WITH YOU.
    LET THEM BE CONFIDENT WITH YOU!
    Men of God again

    Too bad.....
    Coming out takes a whole lot of courage.
    Having a supporting spouse is just lit!

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    Replies
    1. God bless you Tenth. I will accept what you wrote that what that pastor Rapu wrote up there.

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    2. You’re on point. Parents should help kids build their self confidence. I grew up being teased and called ugly by my mother and family which really affected my self confidence. I still struggle with self esteem issues till this day, even though I’m in my 40s

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    3. This is solid advice, honestly more parents need to be more vigilant and make it easier for their kids to talk to them but as long as you're not with your child 24/7, anything can happen. Remember the children that got raped at Chrisland school and the school covered it up?

      So I say in addition to protecting your children, influence/blackmail legislators to strenthening laws against sexual assault, pressure police and other law enforcement to go after these criminals. Make life unbearable for sexual predators by ostracizing them from society, sack them from their jobs, evict them from homes, disown them from families. People know that right now of they rape women all they need to say is that she is promiscuous and lying and they will get away with it; and if they rape children, all they need to do is target poor ones and pressure the parents to let it go for 10k.

      When we make the consequences for sexually assaulting anyone high enough, it will deter some people from doing it so brazenly/brutally/often. It will complement the efforts that parents make to protect and communicate with their children.

      A multi pronged approach will be more effective and we all have the capacity to protect our children while influencing law enforcement, demanding better laws and creating lasting social and legal consequences for these criminals.

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  4. While you people are screaming protecting the female children, I hope you guys are aware that these perverts also take canal knowledge of male children. They groom them too.

    Do not forsake your children by neglecting them or by entrusting them to the hands of some men or women called pastors. The crime of many pastors are uncountable.

    We can beware of our neighbours, our family, friends, colleagues and relatives. We should never forget to also add clergymen and clergy women to that list of people we should beware of when it comes to our children and younger siblings.

    This pastor up ๐Ÿ‘† there is dancing around the bush without hitting the nail on the head. So, I do not care much about his copy and paste writeup.

    They all have skeletons in their cupboard and I do not trust and clergyman.

    Please raise your kids with self confidence (it is one of the most important gifts that you can give to your children) I do not mean, raising children with no respect.
    Teach your kids what it means to say NO and YES. Let them know that after saying NO, the next thing to do is leave the environment or place.
    Yes, teach your sons and daughters to speak out. Teach them to trust you as their parents, and you should also trust them. Live by example because, they are also watching you.

    I am upset that a lot of Nigerian celebrities are in the know of this man atrocities and non of them thought it wise to speak out. Most of them were singing his praise.

    I hate rape and I hate child molesters.

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    Replies
    1. Please, how do you go about teaching your children all this and raising them with self confidence? don't have kids yet, but I'd like to know some tips.

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  5. Please what has he said in this long write up. Just writing epistle and speaking grammar meanwhile you have not said anything or addressed the issue at hand

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    Replies
    1. Thank you. He has not said anything to addressed the rape issue because, his hands are not clean too.

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    2. Exactly.

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    3. Ms A nawa for you oo. How do you know that? All in a bid to try to defend a cause, you people end up making stupid statements that can even get you sued. I'm not defending him because he's a pastor and I'm not his member before you come here and spew trash but in this life you need to think before you talk/type.

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  6. I think the real reason pastors thread carefully in this domain is cos they too are terrified of shaking a table they might be sitting at/on. It’s like corruption....before a politician leads a corruption rally you better be darn sure , you track record is squeaky clean. Oshi ati iranu. At the end of the day, all pastors are carnal flesh like the rest of us.

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  7. Pastor Tony Rapu for just drink water and mind his business. That epistle up there is meaningless.

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  8. This is just rigmaroling round the main issue. If you're not confident enough to hit the nail on the head, why not move on and let others do it?

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    Replies
    1. I for one stand with Busola but I am my own person and not a leader of any congregation. but I understand that for many people particularly those who many look to, it is difficult to stand with any side (publicly) because at the end of the day, it is still allegations. However, this is better than pastors putting their heads in the sand till it all blows over.

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  9. I respect this man a lot but this is a pointless article. He should have just kept quiet.

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  10. I am surprised almost every comment here is saying this write up is pointless. How is this pointless? He talked about seeking justice and not pressuring the rape victim to forgive. He also said sexual abuse goes beyond the jurisdiction of the church and the church must learn to not silence the victim because of the fear of a scandal. If all these had been applied when Busola was raped by that Randy pastor, then justice would have been served a long time ago. This man here is making a lot of sense.

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  11. If I accuse you of molesting my nephew, tag your picture and send all over social media tarnishing your reputation, does that now make you a rapist? How can one accusation cause all these rancour? A person remains innocent until proven guilty in a court of law not on social media. I am disappointed that even supposed learned ones are just acting out of emotions. The man who might be guilty has come out to say he did not do it. It is for the court to judge. I still remember the Kobe Bryant rape case. It took a year in court for him to free himself from malicious accusation because of video evidence he had. In saner climes, the lady in question will take that pastor to court not having a social media trial. Let us all be reasonable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please RT Ronaldo and Neymar

      Delete

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