Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Thursday, July 11, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmmmmmmm........









STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TOXIC MOTHER




Good day Stella,
I have become a shadow of myself. Growing up for me wasn't fun so I had to bury myself in my books to deal with peer pressure from school and church. 


Luckily I was able to finish my first degree and worked for a while. My mum has always been my problem. She's so fond of making troubles with neighbours, gossips a lot and keeps malice which most times end up affecting us her kids. 


I'm the first child, I worked for a while and I was able to save some money to start up a business but my dad needed the money more so I helped to buy him a car for his transport business which later became a bad investment. This is 2 years now since I lost my job and I find it very difficult to help out at home. 

I had an argument with my dad this year because of my mum, the next day he came to apologize to me. Few days later he slumped and died. 

My mum has succeeded in gossiping about us her children to outsiders and always having a way of turning we the kids against ourselves. You become her friend when you have and give to her. I was on a three days fasting some weeks back when she came to my room one morning to gossip about a neighbour.


 I begged her to leave my room in a nice way because of my state of mind and what the devil was trying to do. Two days afterwards, she came back with another gossip and I avoided her the second time. I presume the devil was trying to play a fast one on me so I felt I was prepared. 

My mum came up with her insults, called me names and how I couldn't secure a job to help my dad and that I was the reason my dad died because he had so much expectations from me. I couldn't hold back my tears so I replied her back.

Its been 3 weeks now, i refused to go to church or nearby environment, this place is too toxic for me. I feel like ending it.




*Hmmmmmmmm has it occurred to you that your mum might have mental problem and that you need to show her love and ignore her tantrums and look for a way to handle her gossips?If it has not occurred to you,please consider it cos the signs are all in this story.

Inside of feeling like ending it all....sit down and think and try to handle your mum well,you will see changes once you store it in your head that she is not well and you need to help her get by....
I don't know how to cool your emotions concerning not having a job but trust me that what God has planned for you will fall together in its appointed time.....

52 comments:

  1. Poster, move away from your mum. Give her some space and see how you will begin to feel or try to develop a thick skin towards her character and comment. I was contemplating sending a Chronicle regarding my eldest sister but still holding back cos I deviced a way to dealing with her and it seems to be working.
    Your mother does not have mental problems. Most parents expect too much from their children and when that is not forthcoming, they begin to show disappointment and aggression and bad mouthing just to make you feel bad. What did they do for their own parents?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maggie... Is this you?

      Delete
    2. Hello poster, move away from that environment, look for a place to go stay but stop living with her. Then you’ll gain your sanity back with some respect

      Delete
    3. My mum did this to me too and I hated her for a long time for that

      Delete
    4. Stella pls the advice for mental illness is to get her to a psychiatrist I beg. While showing love the mother is getting more and more toxic. The psychiatrist is also a figure of love

      Delete
    5. Stella you wrote from a place of comfort.

      The poster has no job. She needs all the love in the world right now.

      Poster if you gave a friend that can accommodate you please leave that how.

      Don't end it. This life is too sweet. Things will fall in place soon

      Delete
  2. 'Called me names and how I couldn't secure a job to help my dad and that I was the reason my dad died because he had so much expectations from me'

    Like for real? Naah! this is too toxic a statement, that came from a bitter heart.. It is not a mental health ish...
    Baby girl, U need to move out of that space ASAP.. U can love her from a distance, constantly being around her energy will drain U out...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sister, aren't you finally handing devil victory in a platter of Gold?
    He is the accuser of the brethren.
    What he could not achieve during your fast (distract you from God),
    he seems to have achieved after your fast (get you off "church' and perhaps Scriptures and prayers) and of course the benefits of the fast.
    Did he not do that to Jesus too; See Luke chapter 4, Matthew 4. He left him after the temptations and waited for "an opportune time".
    Love conquers all (google it nne) and you know this scripture. See also Romans 12 -when you do good to your "enemy" you hip burning coals upon his/her head.
    That is the way to go. And please do keep on the spirit of fasting like thrice a week as taught by Jesus not just once in a while.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster don't listen to this advice. There's nothing but dispair and depression that this type of rhetoric has done to many Nigerians. Love doesn't conquer all. If it did, Jesus would have smothered Lucifer with warm hugs and kisses, instead of telling him to get behind thee. Your relationship with God and other deserving people will improve if you cut off certain toxic people from your life.

      Delete
    2. @Ajebo
      Thanks. There is no scripture with this line but I explained what I mean in Romans 12 and here it is;

      19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written:
      “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:

      “If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
      if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
      In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

      21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

      Delete
    3. After Jesus told Satan "get behind me", he did not cut off Peter who made the offensive statement, did he?

      Delete
    4. The correct quotation is;
      LOVE NEVER FAILS 1 COR.13:8

      1 COR. 13: 4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 LOVE NEVER FAILS. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

      Delete
    5. ajebo you are not a believer so it is obviously not the holy spirit helping you interpret scripture..

      Delete
    6. Students of heaven, Bsc in Evangelism...😁

      Jesus PA.
      πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

      Delete
    7. @Blacky
      So why are you running?
      Wetin dey pursue you?
      πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

      Delete
    8. Lemme run o 😁😁😁 before una pour me water.

      Delete
  4. Sneak out of that house with a few clothes,important documents and stay with one of your friends or anywhere you you would be comfortable.
    I can't say your mother is a witch or she's behind your predicament but flee from her and don't tell any member of your family your whereabouts.
    Things might improve for you but please don't end it.
    Life is beautifulπŸ™‚.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sis, your mom is flawed but she isn't as much a toxic to you than she is to herself. It's almost like you are beginning to resent her.

    You sound level headed so amma say this.. stack up and leave! You need to put some distance between you and your mom before y'all burn out.

    Life will be way easier when you don't have to deal with her all the time and your relationship with her will even get better. Most of all, pray for her.

    ReplyDelete
  6. emotional blackmail!!! Gosh I hate it so much

    ReplyDelete
  7. You feel like ending what?

    Are you in Abuja? I'd gift you a bottle of wine if you are not a puritan, and if you feel like talking I will give you an ear.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Sweetheart, *Ehugs*,Being calm about everything allows your mind to think and find solutions. You deserve to stay happy. Do not let anything disturb your peace of mind it is a very high price to pay. Ignore your mom and her rants she has lived her own life. You weren't created to be feeble woman! STAY STRONG! NOTHING MUST SHAKE YOU! PRAY! Positive results you would see.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jesus is that all you have to say? Why not heal her mom. And give her a job with an immediate effect.

      Delete
    2. Prayer is the Key,PA. You seem like a very hardworking PA, would you mind joining me in heaven for a new job position this week? :)

      Delete
    3. Jesus of sdk, can be your bed repairer? πŸƒπŸƒπŸƒπŸƒ

      Delete
    4. Wait until Jesus konk you. Imagine spelling a whole Jesus, our personal saviour with small letter.

      Delete
  9. sorry op, i pray baba God answers you call and grants you your heart desires ......meanwhile i went commando to work today because the heat these days na waya but i have been sooooooo wet in the office that all i can think of is to get home, get the kids ready for bed and bend over the dinning for hubby to slurp slurp slurp on my juices!!! i dont even want penetration just some bad ass head whilst rubbing my clit on his nose.........i hope ayam normal shaa

    ReplyDelete
  10. Your mum doesn't have mental problems. She's just naturally vile. Showing love will not change anything. Find a way to move out and keep the distance between both of you as far as possible.

    ReplyDelete
  11. It is well with you and your family. I'd advise you move out for a while

    ReplyDelete
  12. I had a horrible childhood. My Mum made it obvious that I and my eldest sibling were not her favorites. My dad was showing us love in his own way but he wasn't strong enough to call my Mum to order. Eventually my dad died, my eldest sibling died, My Mum's favorite daughter died, her favorite son is not in Nigeria. I am the only one around. That despised daughter that had a childhood filled with bitter memories, harsh words, psychological damage, I am the one that is now her pillar. Do I hate her? No. I feel very sorry for her because she didn't know better. My advise is focus on making yourself a success. You will see what will happen few years down the line. Still do your best by her. She is still your mother. Today my children are judging me too. I hope I receive better reviews from them.

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is emotional blackmail. There's nothing wrong with your mother than selfishness and entitlement mentality. I will suggest you leave that place, don't tell anyone where you are going. If its possible, another state, tell just a sibling you are going to seek greener pastures then change your sim.
    I have learnt that family sometimes hinder our growth/ progress either by their action or inaction. Till date i stay alone in Lagos, everyone is back home in Rivers state. Sometimes its lonely but i have learnt to occupy any extra time i have. Leave my dear, i left and visit only Christmas, infact i haven't visited in 2 Christmases.
    Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
  14. Must you all keep talking about ending it? I get upset when reading posts with such comment s. Let's say you end it today,its to who's loos? Probably a one or two weeks mourning and fiam,you're forgotten.the living will keep on living so please erase that thought of death and move out of that house for the sake of your sanity.

    Try getting a hotel job,maybe as a receptionist cus they are kinda like the available ones! While on it,you spread your tentacles for in search of a better one.

    Moreso,no one ever told you that life will be all rosy even with family. Once there's life,there's hope. Also learn to talk to God in prayers cause he sees and hears all. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Poster I will advise you to go and squat with someone away from home for the time being. I pray God gives you a good job that will change your story for good. So sorry for the demise of your dad, and don't ever harbor the thought that he died because of you. Cheer up, be focus, keep the faith and keep pushing. It will surely end in praise. Good luck

    ReplyDelete
  16. Stella am sorry but your advice is wrong!!!! My mother is this way, hers is so bad that I believe she’s possessed. There is no amount of love, sitting down to talk that will change her, believe me I have been there. Women like her are happy when they have used to mouth to bring everybody around them down. See poster, move out!!! Move out for the sake of your own sanity, I was sucidal when I was doing my internship from home, the thought that I would kill myself, and my future kids might end up with a mother like mine brought me back from sucidal land. Move out and gradually reduce your communication with her. Do what you can do from a distance, mothers like this are best avoided believe me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My mum is on this table. Thank God I moved out

      Delete
  17. end it for a selfish mother? no way my dear. you have a whole life ahead of you. dont kill your self when God hasnt blown the final whistle on you. move out and put her at arms lenght...call her daily if possible but let her know you dont want her in your space...blood is thicker than water is so overated cos some family is toxic

    ReplyDelete
  18. This right here is the doppelganger of my mom. Thank God she's out of the country now. Now she's looking for who'll coman meet her there! Madam keep ur US green card to yourself! My peace of mind is far better for me.

    Even if I'd go to the US, I'd rather be the one to send myself there cos if she does, the whole world will know, and she'll perpetually try to use it to emotionally blackmail me.

    When I read about other mothers, I just wonder why the universe has decided to plague me with such a mother!

    Tα»₯fα»‹akwa!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Take the favor. Let her take the praise. Who praise epp

      Delete
  19. Poster, please leave. You can stay with a friend, past colleague or family if possible but do all you can to leave for now. Get a job no matter the pay and regain back yourself. In all please don't forget she's your mother. No matter how bad she is, she is still your mother.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Your mother is an emotional abuser and let me tell you, you do not have to subject yourself to her abuse anymore, find your way and find peace.
    Yes you only have one mother but of she is abusive it doesn't mean you have to take it forever. Don't let anyone guilt trip you, put physical distance between you and only interact with her when you're able to.

    I pray you and everyone like you finds peace

    ReplyDelete
  21. I totally understand you but ending it all is not the ideal thing to do. You need to leave that toxic environment asap for your own good before it makes you a sad and bitter person.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I am always pained when I see comment like " stay away from your mother, she is toxic". I don't really care what she does to you, all you need to do is to apply wisdom. This a woman who carried you for 9months, breast feed you for almost 2 years and listened to the nonsense you spill out while she laughs and smile that her darling is trying to talk. You once suffocated her own life too, so please learn to be patient with her. You can listen to her gossip without contributing, the least you can do is to pretend that what she is telling you is interesting, at the end, it's a win- win situation. Finally, pls show her love, she needs it now that your father is gone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please dont have kids if you have intentions of making them wish they were never born. Only kids with toxic mothers will know what pain it causes. They leave you damaged and dysfunctions

      Delete
    2. Anon 21:49 the woman’s gossip is not too much for her child to handle
      I’m a grown woman. I don’t tell my mother what to discuss. Any gist she wants is fine
      How are so grown now we are even dictating Mother’s gist

      It’s not good she said you’re the reason your father died
      That’s not good at all. But pls remember she’s also grieving and saying stupid things happens in grief. Yes you’re fasting but don’t give into this nails story that something can stop the efficacy of your prayers.how week do I think God is. You’re respecting prayer more than mama. No matter how seriously I’m praying I can pause to attend to my mother
      Do you know how many of her prayers and gbenshing you interrupted as a kid

      Delete
  23. Some mothers can be so toxic to their children!immagine having this type as mother-in law, na one chance.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Same story with my mom and sisters. It was until I saw the definition of household enemies, I ran without looking back.
    Poster run away and you see your life blossom.

    When people hate you for no reason, look carefully it’s because you carry a glory they can’t comprehend. I better be alone than have wicked witches as family

    ReplyDelete

  25. Dear Poster,

    Move out of that house as soon as possible. Find a friend you can squat with while you search for work.
    Love your mother from a distance - limit communication with her!

    I pray God blesses you with a good job soon.
    Sending love and light to you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Your mom is the definition of women at their old age - High degree of emotional blackmail

    ReplyDelete


  27. Leave that environment now for your own sanity first and keep away from her till further notice. She ought to know that she is the one to support her own husband and also save for her old age. This mentality of ‘my children are my social security’ must stop. No be me go tell you say your mama na witch, God will show it to you if you ask Him. You don’t owe her anything. African especially Nigerian parents have this way of pressurizing their children and blackmailing the first child etc. Entreat God in a fast to show you exactly the root of your affliction and cry to him for mercy, favour and grace. He will show up for you and you’ll be back on your feet again.

    Please, don’t go back home when gainfully employed, just get yourself even one room and remain there, you are no longer a child. Whatever you purpose to send home to support your family, do and make all understand you have forgiven every hurt including your mom.

    If you are a female, when a good man comes, inform her you are coming with him and have some of your father’s family in tow. Be quick about your introduction/engagement and trado (if possible, do all same day don’t waste time and no need to reveal your intentions ) and walk very far and fast. Invite them for your white wedding and after that make it clear to her if she visits, she must keep her mouth in check. Some women are just lucky to be birth mothers but don’t deserve to be mothers.

    ReplyDelete

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