Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative


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Friday, July 05, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative



Good day Stella,

Basically l need need spiritual advice. I've prayed about it but sometimes my faith is very weak.....

  6 years ago one of my ex that l let go got married and as a result l suffered severe depression . I was on medication from some time and this really affected me. It really gotten worse as it had some psychotic features where l was paranoid and delusional. To be honest the whole experience changed me as a person. I've prayed about it but I'm loosing my faith . 

 Ever since I've never been myself , l struggle with sound mind to the point that some family members started saying I've gone mad . I know this was due to the bad depression that left me with serious mental problems. I just want to be free from confusion, depression, insanity . I've tried praying for years but sometimes lt appears as God is not hearing . I'm not suicidal but sometimes l wish death upon myself . 

 I'm scientist by professional and l tried furthering my studies with masters but l failed because of mind issues, it's hard to put it in words but l just want restoration . My mind is not the same-l can't think straight and logic.

 I think one of my fears is that l will grow old without finding another true love especially that am reaching 30 years this year and the fact that being abroad is hard to find a genuine nice man . To be honest l just want to be normal again with sound mind . 

My mum noticed my change and she reckons that maybe people bewitched me back home as all l do is be in my room all the times . I hope I'm not mentally disturbed if so, how can l pray for total restoration and healing.

*YOU ARE SO BROKEN BECAUSE OF A MAN?and its been 6 years?This is so annoying!.....Do you know the best revenge?To refuse that situation bury you,to stand up and tell yourself you would succeed at everything you do and let it happen..

Why would you grieve over someone you let go of 6 years ago?This has nothing to do with Prayers,you need to work on your state of mind and tell yourself that you are not a failure OK?I don't know what else to say but I am really shocked that you let yourself become like this!!!


  1. This man YOU let go do u strong thing o...

    Pls God cannot help u if u don't help yaself.

    Skoin skoin coz of man? U better open ya eyes n get grooving.

    1. Huh?
      "Grooving" you said?
      You think say everything na by bulldozing?

    2. @BlackBerry, we humans are wired differently. I was dumped by a lady I really loved and the experience was something else. I didn't exist again. I don't have time to write details cos of work and this is my first time commenting here cos of the topic. To the poster, I understand how you feel.

      The issue of the heart is a different ball game all together. Some are soft, others are strong.

      I am a man.

    3. hahahahahahahahahahahaha... @skoin skoin because of man

    4. The way I see young people kill themselves over marriage. I just wonder and you are not even 30 yet.
      I shared my story here yesterday that I got married at 37 and it came unexpectedly after I had even removed my mind from marriage and stopped visiting every pastor and attending every church programme and deliverance known to man. I also suffered a set back at around your age. A man I was supposed to marry based abroad while dating me got married to someone else there. That is after engaging me for two years. Did I die? No,i must admit I wasn't myself for atleast 3yrs. But I can never let a mere mortal drive me to mental illness or suicide. I kept thinking I know this lady whose husband left her after 8yrs of marriage and 4 kids. If she didn't kill herself, why should I.
      Poster pls relax your mind. Not everybody will marry at a set time. And me marrying at 37 didn't mean I married a anyhow man. He was a professional based abroad,doing very well and very handsome. We were actually course mates in school who reconnected on Facebook. If you get mad over an ex pls how will you meet your husband. Better relax. You can even meet an old friend,you can meet a co-worker.

    5. Please try and be remembering all his bad sides. It will help you heal faster. Cheers

    6. I'm in my mid thirties and understand what you are facing perfectly.I was dumped by my ex in 2015.He got married without me knowing and was still dating me until someone told me about his wedding and even showed me picture as a prove.I nearly committed suicide but thank God i am alive.Although i have not met my soul-mate yet but i know God is still in the business of doing miracle.Please remove your mind from it and assume the guy is LATE(DEAD AND BURIED).By his grace before this time next year, the man perfectly designed by God for you will locate you.

    7. Poster you are still not okay mentally, you need to continue seeing your psychiatrist and continue drugs asap! Plsssssss go back and see you doctor....

    8. Poster pls schedule an appointment with your psychiatrist,your medication needs to be reviewed asap

    9. I hate when people talk like this. She didn’t say she was desperate or wanted to get married. She said she is broken from the breakup. Possibly other men come but she hasn’t even had the zeal to go ahead.
      I have been in her shoes. For years too. Infact, I sent a chronicle and I was insulted severely.
      You should have seen me. I was soooo sad. Lost sooo much weight someone confessed to me years later that they thought I had HIV tending to AIDS. I couldn’t do anything. Couldn’t kee a job. My environment was untidy because I didn’t care. I thought, dreamed, smelled, ate him. My whole world revolved around him. I refused jobs that weren’t in the city where he was just because I foolishly couldn’t let go.
      Eventually, I had to tell myself it was enough. This guy had forgotten about me and here I was dying. Why make him so powerful and in control of my life? I decided to take control of my own life. I started by having an agreement with God to seek Him diligently and not because of what I wanted Him to do for me.
      And then, I cleaned my room and started writing my plans out.
      Spirituality, finances, hygiene, playtime, buildup. And so on.
      I started bathing 2xs in a day. Making my hair every 3 weeks and left the wigs to breathe. My brother was shocked to call me one day and I said I was out. He was so happy he sent me money and told me to please have fun.
      Nobody bewitched you my darling poster. You just loved hard and had dreams of living with this person the rest of your life. Please make that decision today. Right now! Enough joor! Dude will fuck his wife this night o.
      Get up and go out. Buy burger and shawarma and plantain and fish and banana. Anything. Just try. It’s not gonna be automatic but eventually, you’d see the result.
      And let me tell you, I’ve not met the perfect man yet but I can tell you I’m happy. I am 30 now. And single and I don’t feel bad about it. I’m sooo free. I know for a fact that what is ahead is greater than what is behind.
      Who God has prepped for me is better than anyone I chose for myself for myself. Just chill babe. There is always someone better.
      Ok. Bye!

    10. Stella depression eats d soul! It’s not something u can control or put an end to because a man caused it! MBA mba mba. That’s not how it works.
      Nne I have been there, like DEEP DARK LOST HOPELESS ZEALESS name it, I couldn’t heal, with everything I did, I lost hope no power to even encourage myself but guess what, I started finding myself by attending strictly Praise and worship church. Only giving praise no die by fire or asking God for anything just praise and worship ( City of David Friday service) u can connect online.
      Another thing I did was taking myself back to b4 I was lost, went back in time like 5yrs, started taking buses and abandoned my brand new car, started going to motherless homes, became more humble and gently my happiness came back.
      Poster, I feel u , find friends who will mk u happy, stop staying indoors and closing the blinds, it makes it worst. Praise him in ur darkest moments! Praise and praise and praise. The light will come back into ur life again trust me.


    11. @anonymous 15:33, she didn't dump you 'babe', you did. You know she loved (still loves) you. You go ghost on her whenever you want then return without explanations. She got tired of complaining before she turns a nag. 

      I don't grovel, babe. If you truly loved her as you claim, you know what to do. 

      And no, you are not soft. You are arrogant!

  2. Begin your prayers with repentance.
    Ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins
    especially if you lived in fornication
    with this ex.
    Then go to amazon and buy inspirational books and spend time
    with the Lord indoors reading them.
    These are:
    1. The New Testament -this one is
    right with you on your phone; free online.
    2. Find Kimberly Daniels books; she was a soldier in the US army that went to gulf war and even dabbled in
    occultism, sex change etc. got depressed/suicidal but Jesus gave her
    3. Find "Beauty for ashes"
    4. You need a spiritual/physical detoxifying (fruit) fasts. All those
    medications lurking in your nerves and
    spiritual entanglements consequences of iniquity need to be replaced with
    God's word in your mind.
    God's Grace.

  3. You are still holding on, how do you progress when you wont let the past go. My dear please free your mind and then your sanity will be back.

    You are carrying pains, no go get BP before another thing enter.

    Pray to God Almighty more, He is able to forgive. Learn to forgive, so that God can forgive you

  4. Nne make you no continue grieving but
    fill your mind with God's word.
    "If your heart condemn you, God is greater that your heart and knows all things" (google this please)
    you will get over this but first free
    your mind from this man. The Savior Jesus can do this for you.
    Man can always fail you but Jesus does not fail.
    Make it a habit of reading or listening to two chapters from your Bible daily.
    There are so many audio/text bible apps on google play.
    May Baba God help you heal and overcome inugo.
    And to my Naija Sisis, abeg when "in love", wait on God who gives every good and perfect gift and close totoh
    no matter how much pressure the dude
    put on you. If the thing dey do am like
    say nwammiri ga aba ya, like say he will die if im no do, make im go drop
    bride price and begin legitimate.

  5. You are gradually killing yourself slowly .Please kindly meet a psychiatrist who will assess you and place you on medication .It is annoying that girls will be killing them selves over a man in this computer age .Think of your self first, take care of yourself, get a good job, draw your self closer to God. If a man comes good, if they don't come ,you can adopt a baby or try and have your own Please do anything that keeps you happy.

  6. Isaiah 59:1Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save,

    nor his ear too dull to hear.

    2But your iniquities have separated

    you from your God;

    your sins have hidden his face from you,

    so that he will not hear.

    3For your hands are stained with blood,

    your fingers with guilt.

    Your lips have spoken falsely,

    and your tongue mutters wicked things.

  7. Please take Stella's advice.

  8. My dear, go to Youtube and type;

    "Free from Depression & Deep Loneliness & VOID. Attempted suicide!! AMAZING Testimony, true healing"

    These and other videos from this channel/cbn is what you need in this
    place you are in. And above all do not forget your Scriptures.

  9. Na wa.... O man matter. He has forgotten about you a long time ago so please get a grip on yourself and move on. Haba!!!!

  10. I hope the man didn’t even jazz you.

  11. Stellz, she didn’t let go of the relationship rather the man/relationship let go of her. This is the reason you should be mentally and emotionally mature before going into relationships. This poster was between 23/24 when the relationship packed up, that age would’ve been a good age for to begin a relationship. I wonder how long they dated for and if they were intimate. Depression after breakups are usually ones that involved intimacy and mostly with the women. Men love differently, while women love with their hearts and not heads.

    Anyway, it is well with you poster. Confide in someone, and see a therapist if you can afford it. You say you are abroad, so these things are readily available. You need to seek medical help first and then pray. You cannot pray when you do not have a sound mind. May God grant you the strength to move on.

  12. My dear, do you want to kill yourself just because of a man? This is really amazing.Pls, stand up and get busy.May God help you.

    I am very busy now. Il come back for you later.

  14. Stella please be easy on her. A relationship breakdown is a trauma that can trigger or exacerbate an underlying mental illness. If 2 or more people have mentioned it that you may be going "mad", I suspect that you are indeed going through a form of psychosis. This is not a spiritual matter.
    It appears that you are also abroad. Why don't you walk up to your GP and tell them all your symptoms? If you are prescribed anything, take it and try to go out more.
    Dress well, go and see movies alone, sit in the park alone, go to a restaurant alone, etc. Staying indoors will even make it worse because vitamin D deficiency has been linked to depression. Please, do not contact your ex o. Take care.

    1. Pls she should not go to Gp oooo, they would section her to mental health and give her anti depressants, look for a psychologist

  15. Sweetheart what you need is to see a psychiatrist who will evaluate your mental health and put you on the necessary medication/counselling. We all have our different thresholds when it comes to dealing with emotional issues. I'm not sure why you let him go but I'm sure there was a good reason why. He is married and has moved on, hopefully. Just because you need the extra nudge to do same doesn't mean you are being bewitched. A lot of people have the wrong notion about mental health and blame every episode on spiritual attacks of some sort.

    I believe in the power of prayer and healing but where your faith is flickering, please seek medical help. Darling, there's nothing novel about your case, there are a lot of ladies with fragile mental dispositions who skated close to the edge of insanity when they suffered emotional trauma. There's no need to keep suffering when medical help is readily available.

    Sweetie, just because you let one man go doesn't mean you are doomed to spend the remainder of your days in miserable solitude. You will have many opportunities to meet the right one, you just have to believe it and be open to it. You have to make a conscious effort to let go of the past to enable a healthy future. Forget about studies for now and get your mental health in check before it escalates. You've covered the spiritual aspects by praying, it's time to cover the physical aspects by getting medical intervention.

    Don't despair, my darling, a lot of ladies have gone through worse and came out the best versions of themselves. I can't blame you for having a fragile mind but now that you know, please get the necessary help you need and take your meds religiously. Nobody is bewitching you, you're just heartbroken and having a tough time moving on. Baby, take it one day at a time and don't be too hard on yourself. Renew your mind and entertain only positive thoughts.

    e-hugs and kisses.

  16. Hahhahahaah poster you really crack me up. poster if i tell you how i suffered for my first bf ehhh, He got married, did i cry? yes oh i did but it was for just one hours, only for the fact that people really knew us and i was just getting text message up and down on the day of his wedding.

    i date people older than me, like 10 yrs older,so they do get married fast, second not yet married, third guy got married last month after i had a miscarriage 2weeks to our intro, that one i didnt even cry self. I'm presently dating a guy that i don't even know where i am

    But in all of that, i never disliked my self to a point of being depressed, Jesus Christ poster. I live life like one day we will all leave this earth, so i can't be depressed over nothing. Me that i need money so badly, will come and be depressed cos my ex was married, they no born such ex

    You have every right to feel bad, i love alot, and i love stupidly so you can imagine, but being depressed for years now? almost being mental? Ewo kilode

    1. Madam calm down.
      You are different people. There are people like the poster that’s why some people commit suicide. Good for you that you are solid. Some of us aren’t

  17. Truth is a lot of people are at risk of some mental disorders and need triggers for them to manifest.
    Triggers may include drug and alcohol abuse, stressful life events.
    What you described looks like a bipolar disorder not just depression.
    Please poster if you a seeing a psychiatrist please continue taking your prescribed drugs so you do not relapse.
    Because it might cause you further embarrassment.

  18. Poster,you are exhibiting signs of depression. Go back on your meds and if you need to take a vacation to br with your family..kindly do that. Be around people that know and love.
    Take your antidepressants, from your story,you most likely discontinued them. Prayers are good, so take your meds and drugs at the same time.
    Depression is a mental disorder, which you are battling with and you know it but stigma if being called mentally I'll is making you not take your drugs.

  19. Hey dear...
    I'm glad I can help bcos I was in your shoes not too long ago.
    I ended a relationship with someone I loved based on hear-say....Big mistake.!
    With a booming career,it was very easy to crash. infact there were many times,I could have crashed.
    Here is what to do. need a close relationship with God.pray everyday.i joined Nathanuel Bassey's hallelujah challenge and spontaneous prayer meetings on instagram.pastor poju oyenade's church has daily prayer need God more than ever before.Trust me God sees where you are right now and He WILL help you.Trust me. may help to find closure with this ex.Write him a mail.Apologuse if you were at fault and wish him well.After this close the chapter.
    3.confide in a close friend u can talk to.there will be low days when u need someone to talk to....feel free to talk about ur will find strength the more u admit ure not perfect.if you think a psychiatrist would help,you can try that.i personally dont think u need one.
    4.Get out of that room.staying in a closed space like ur room cuts u away from life physically and mentally.Interract more with family.Take a stroll around the neighbourhood your heart to meet will meet have plenty of time ahead.
    Understand that ure not in charge of your life... God is.The more you realise that,you take away the burden of responsiblity for what happens or does not happen.
    Wish you all the best!

  20. I was in this situation 2017, depressed, mad, and angry. I felt the world was against me. Poster please find a way to heal, try and keep your mind busy so you can forget. There’s always someone who loves you dearly, in good time you will meet the person.

  21. Some people already have some issues such that trauma (emotional or otherwise) rips them to the other side you can liken it to how 2
    People sometimes even twins are exposed to same conditions and one would fall ill and others just build their immunity
    I would say seek professional help there’s a place for prayer but get help you may need to be on medications . As for being married pls enjoy each day all would fall in place
    Sending you love and light

  22. A man left you, please do not leave yourself, cry and feel the pain but being mentally drained is self inflicting. Focus your mind on other things working in your life.

  23. Please you need to work on your mental health 1st !!! It might just be coincidental that after your failed relationship, you went into depression wc is normal. But the psychosis is worrisome, it was there all along, it is not bc of you loosing a relationship that you became psychotic. Worst off, we Africans might not have a good history of our family's medical trends. Psychosis most times it runs in the family, it may appear in one generation and not on another. So your parents might even recall if someone had had symptoms like yours.

    You are abroad, there is mental health help everywhere, please take advantage of that, seek treatment, adhere to your medications! Do not stop taking your prescribed meds.

    **Everything is not spiritual, you are a scientist, you are educated, stop all this spiritual bull crap. Take advantage of science and medical help.

    *** If you don't work on your mental health, another relationship might not last.
    ~If you want to go spiritual, then pray God send you a husband that will understand your mental health challenges. DON'T MESS WITH PSYCHOSIS, SEEK TREATMENT & BE COMPLIANT WITH THE TREATMENT PLAN. TAKE CARE OF YOU B4 INCLUDING ANOTHER PEESON IN THE EQUATION.

    Sweetheart, with love and care is my advice to you. Be blessed.

  24. My dear please listen to me. I am more than twice your age and not yet married. My ex husband did some of the most inhumane things known to man to me but I decided to rise up, dust myself off and start all over again. Many, including my pastor wrote me off to the point that it would have been so easy to sink into a psychotic episode. What helped me was my relationship with God and my sister who told me to FIGHT mentally. I also reasoned that it's bad enough that I was badly mistreated. Why should I also treat myself badly? My dear you are punishing yourself and holding on to what is gone. Rise up and go and make new memories. Take things hour by hour if you must. Go for a walk everyday for 5 minutes, even if you only make it to the end of the street. Volunteer in a charity shop (there are loads abroad) for only one hour or two a week. Find a support group online and off line and join. Go to your GP and get a referral to a therapist. Resist hospital admission and drugs at all costs, because once you are in the system as mentally ill especially as a black woman you are royally screwed. Purpose in your heart that you will get better. Don't rely on friends and family. Face God with praise and thanksgiving everyday even when you don't think you have anything to be thankful about. Lastly give yourself time and if you can book a trip to a retreat or spa and treat yourself. Self care is key.

  25. we dat are married de look for freedom, person dey here de kill her self because of man

    1. I tell u. I am tired of my husband and looking for a way out this one is complaining. Chei one mans meat is truly another mans poison!!

  26. Likely the medication you took for the depression messed you up. Some psychiatric medications are very powerful with very bad side effects. My suggestion would be for you to start exercising regularly, doing a lot of juicing, especially green juices. Eat very clean and do your best to go natural. Take long walk close to nature either on the beach or in a well treed place. Find meaningful work that you enjoy so that your mind is occupied. I am very sorry to know that you are experiencing this, but if you can put together this coherent letter to send in then I know that there is hope for a full recovery for you.

  27. Dear Poster,
    I want you to repeat after me.


    I have been there and I can tell you it will end. This phase you are going through will pass IF you are intentional about it.
    Go to a psychiatrist and get some medication. It isn't always a permanent thing. You might only need it for a few months. If the last time you took it and it didn't sit well with you. Tell your doctor and he will put you on a different one.
    If you don't want to try that route yet or you don't have health insurance, look into BLACK SEED OIL. They have the oil and pill version. Amazon and health stores sells them. Depending on the one you buy, take one to two of the recommended dose daily.
    Use the oil to rub on your forehead at night. It will put you to deep sleep in under 45mins. Sleep helps your body heal. You will need a lot of it.
    Every night rub it on your forehead, add a prayer while doing it if you like.
    Take the pill version twice a day or take the liquid one if you can handle the taste. MAKE SURE THE BLACK CUMIN SEED OIL IS "NIGELLA SATIVA" minimum 1000mg per serving please.

    LASTLY, let go of what has let go of you. Do 1 thing you enjoy EVERYDAY.
    If you keep having intrusive and repetitive thoughts, do not fight them no matter how trumatic it is. Let it ride its wave. Fighting it only increases the ripple of the next wave. Allow the thoughts then respond to it. For example; if you keep having nasty thoughts about something you'd never do. When it comes don't fight it. Just tell yourself (the thought) well, I am sure some people have done such before and though I empathize with them, I do not believe it is for me.
    Let me know if you need someone to talk to. I can reach out to stella for your contact. Life is for the living.
    YOU are the living.

  28. I don’t blame her. Nigeria makes marriage look like the greatest achievement In life for women meanwhile it’s actually a very humiliating experience. Those in want out and those out want in. Those in it are dying of depression and those not in it are also dying of depression. It is well

  29. My sister marriage never hook u. If e hook u go to ur junction and marry the vulcanizer or steel cutter there. Shebi na husband u want?? All na man na

  30. See someone that should be successful in her own right, dying because of man that moved on long ago.
    Six years is too long to be living a miserable life because of a man. Better shake it off and be yourself.
    See as you messed up your head because of nothing.

  31. Dear poster,it is well with you.I pray you get a good job by God's grace

  32. All I know is that if Nigeria can be better economically, many things will change.. I don’t see how a man will use me do yeye when I’m earning well and can take care of my self well. U will graduate from school and start suffering like u dint see d 4 walls of a university.

    To u poster, u are the one doing yourself o.. hope it’s not the cash that’s coming from him u are missing?
    Please move on! He’s already married and not even thinking about you yet u want to kill ur self because of a man.
    U don’t love ur self enough. That’s all I can deduce from ur write up

  33. The only reason I got married is to give my child a home. If not men aren’t worth the stress walahi.

    Especially Nigeria men who thinks they can do whatever they like and go away with it.

    Poster pls enjoy ur youth oo

  34. Dear Poster,
    I understand what you’re going through. Thank you for summoning the courage to share this with us. You cannot heal what you don’t reveal. You need professional help - please find a licensed therapist near you who specializes in depression. I see comments advising you to pray. Prayer helps but you NEED professional help. I’m telling you this from experience. Please get help before your mental health deteriorates. When I went through mine, my family made it worse for me. They didn’t understand what I was going through. My overly religious mum insisted I wasn’t praying enough. I moved out of home and went to see a therapist. That was when my healing began. Just like you, I’m also abroad too so please take advantage of the resources around you and seek help. I can assure you that you will get through this and become stronger. Sending love and light to you.

  35. You have given your ex power over your own life. Someone that is enjoying himself up and down. Take back that power dear.

  36. You even let go of your own told me I have hung my boots, you are my wife.i will marry you e.t.c.we had a mini fight and two weeks later i asked him what we were doing and he sent me his wedding invitation card. I found out later that his wife to be was heavily pregnant. I could not believe it so I ran to his house in Abuja and he threw me out the next day and even sent his friend to come pick me up and mess with me. After our relationship, he started chatting shit about me to whoever cared to listen....To make matters worst the man thought he could call me anytime and I would aaalways do his bidding....I was a sucker in love and I cried for days and even stalked him cos I could not believe it. I was delusional ohhhhhhhhh. But guess what when my eyes cleared I blanked him.....I blocked every access he had to me and ignored every single thing about him...... When I am angry and done with someone,my mind mentally deletes the person from memory. The man continued to try to talk to me. Recently he even sentme a message on Instagram, i told the mother fucker "I don't know you, don't call me or text me and if you see me act like you don't know me" and I block the bastard. No man is worth your tears. If you need help talk to a therapist. That man is not the only man in the world. I have met dubious men like my ex with no integrity and morals and I have also met wonderful men since my ex.....the shit people do to you could cause you to loose it and become mentally ill but I advise you to take a breather and think positive tots and you will be fine....most importantly see a shrink you need it.

  37. Do not I repeat do not make a man God over you life....what you are doing is idolatory nd God does not like it one friend or man is what your tears ohhhhhh so just dust your self up and try try again.


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