Stella Dimoko Labour Room Drama 264


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Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Labour Room Drama 264

Hehehehehhehe ...Really funny Narrative !!!

Hi Stella ,
I hope I meet you well
I was the lady that made a comment about reading all the books during pregnancy and practiced all the breathing types but on delivery day I forgot about all that I read . and because of this Hubby made a joke that Practical being different from theory...

Well God blessed us again and this time we decided to birth the child in the US.

I got pregnant about 7 months after I had a miscarriage. Prior this this time I was so anxious to take in as I wanted to be sure that the miscarriage didn’t cause me any damage. I travelled to Houston in my 35th week .i wanted the baby to come early so I could rest but I started praying for delay when I read a clause in a document that my doctor gave to me. It says I will pay more if the baby comes before 38 weeks and after 40weeks.

 I changed my prayer point sharply .

 DH joined us about a month later. In trying to prepare for the baby’s arrival he even got a HD eye glasses that can help improve vision when driving at night, should Labour come at night . So on a faithful Sunday at the grocery store at 10pm I felt the first major pain. I was so sure it was Labour and I told my mom. 

Well she didn’t take me serious as I was extremely lazy that week. Well it came again and it was more painful . Then we agreed that we should go to the hospital which was a far distance from where we lived . We left for the hospital around 10:30. The journey from my house to the hospital was about 50mins drive on highway( it’s actually farther than Lagos to Ibadan) on our way to the hospital hubby had to come back to pick the glasses he bought and he also had to make use of gps as we were not conversant with the route. 

The Labour pains got intense when hubby kept missing all the directions eg when the map says take left in the next 100metres but because of tension he will fly and pass , the map with then re-route us and when it says take the ramp on the left or right he will take the opposite ... by this time the pain was no longer bearable .DH got so disappointed that he removed the magic glasses 😂He said it was not helping . Finally we got the the hospital about 1:00am .

 I was wheeled to a room where my vitals was checked and they also checked how far I had dilated. I had to ask DH to kiss me just to distract me when the nurse wanted to insert her hand down there because it was so painful. The nurse said I was 4 cm gone and asked if she could break my water that it was going to help me . I gave her the permission but she made me promise that I was not going to tell anyone that she broke my water . She told me if anyone ask me I should tell them my water got broken by itself at about 1:30am. I agreed and we rehearsed the lines few times.I was then wheeled to the Labour room.

On our way to the room the nurse taking me asked me what hair extension I used for my hair and that she loves it. ( at this point I could not talk because I was in serious pain.)I told her I used expression, she then asked me what is expression?I really got tired as I was not in that mood . She started calling names that I don’t know and then I heard Kanekelon( or whatever) I told her Kanekelon.i finally got to my room and they took all my details . Then they asked me if I have had malarial in the last 3months , I said Yes ...( I done buy trouble ) o boy... then the 3 nurses started whispering about it’s worse can HIV/AIDS( all I saw was 3 witches talking about me)

I shunned them and I told them I wanted to ease myself. DH followed me to the restroom and on out way out I had a very bad contraction and I held tightly to him then I noticed he was jerking( he was seriously shaking) after the contractions I then asked him why he was that way ‘ he said it was because he was afraid that I was going to bite him and that he was told that when women in Labour have contractions they could bite off any part of their partner’s body. 

Then I got really angry . I said so it was because of ordinary bite that his jittery. 

Ok he should come and collect the Labour pain so that he will be the one to bite me.. I hated my husband that moment . I didn’t like seeing his face when I have contractions. We can be gisting and when I begin to feel the contractions I just tell him to turn his back and go far from me.. he will then return when I am through and go back again... 

The nurse kept asking if I wanted epidural and I kept saying no.( so much gist but I can’t finish them all)Well my baby finally came at 4:30am and he gave me a big tear. (He reopened the part that was stitched during his brother’s birth).
The first thing I was given was a glass of chilled juice by the nurses . And then followed by chilled fruit salad.

I was wheeled to the recovery room where I asked for hot water( as a naija babe) the nurse asked me why I preferred hot water and I told her to wash away all the bad blood in my body. She laughed at me and told me where I heard that and that it doesn’t work that way. I started drinking all the iced teas, and drinks o till I was discharged . I asked for my bill and I was told it wasn’t ready that I could go and the bill will be sent to me in 2weeks ,I was shocked .. even when I got home I had to call regularly before I got my bills. 

The gist plenty .. but I had to cut it short . My baby 👶 s a year today . I give the Lord all the Praise . Baby dust to all women TTC. May God answer all you’ve asked of him .

LMAO....really funny hubby you got and thank God,you didnt bite him.


  1. Very funny narrative I must say. You have a PhD in narrative essay. Do born another pikin and give us a 3rd gist.

  2. I enjoyed this. Congratulations

  3. Wow! Didn't know women were allowed to travel at 35wks. Congratulations Madam

  4. congrats, and happy birthday to you son. you mean hot water doesn't flush the bad blood. but I heard someone took cold drink after delivery and blood clotted in her tummy... please enlighten

    1. Lmaoo.
      I gave birth in Nigeria and ate ice blocks all day.
      I should drink hot water in this weather when God has died for my sins already.
      After our hot water nonsense, we no get flat belle pass the whites still.
      To answer your qq a bit.
      Water hikes into your stomach while the uterus is down down towards the bladder.
      There is no connection whatsoever between them

    2. The uterus is self cleansing.
      So far, no placenta products are left there, it will clean itself and go back to its position in about 6weeks

  5. Another tear? I thought they said episiotomy is given only during the first delivery? God help us ooo.

    God bless you poster and your baby.

    1. For where?? I had tears for my 2 pregnancies. Wasn't funny at all

  6. Very funny narrative. May your home be forever sweet and happy birthday to your baby.

  7. Congratulations, you and your husband are good actors

  8. Did she tell you difference in temperature of water to be taken?

    Where you charged for the salad and juice? Laughs,Just asking. I hope naija hospitals treat patients as patients.

  9. Lol. Congratulations

  10. Wonderful narrative. Happy Birthday to your baby.

  11. congratulations.very funny narrative.

  12. really funny gist and sweet one too. Congratulations to you and thank God you didn't bite your husnband.

  13. Very nice gist oo, I wish you didn't have to cut it short. I enjoyed it Mam. Happy birthday to your lil angel.. poor hubby scared of the bite

  14. Poor man...i don't blame him at all...that bite is worse than a Rottweiler sinking its teeth into you...

  15. Wow. What a funny labour room narrative. Thanks for making us laugh. Loolz Your husband had to remove the magic glasses. And was jerking because he thought you would bite....Hahahaha. Happy Birthday to your baby. GOD BLESS you all. Amen.

  16. Why is it that most women go into labour at night?
    I’ll be due soon—- let me start doing vigilante work o

  17. congratulations on your baby but why didnt you guys call an ambulance? or will they charge you? ambulance is free here in uk, dont know about visitors sha

  18. Better country... Congratulations madam poster

  19. Congratulations, sweet story


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