Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratve....


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Friday, August 30, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narratve....




Good day Stella and my fellow bvs…….

I am an ardent reader of your blog for over 6years straight. I mostly comment under anonymous.

I love you and what you are doing, straight to my story, please keep anonymous

I am a married lady with 4 children, 12,10,7 and 4 years respectively. There is this lady that stays on my street (opposite my house) she has 2 children, 8 and 6 years respectively. We attend the same church and attend a small group meeting with our spouses in my compound where we unwind. Let me just say we are friendly with each other but hardly visit each other homes except on very few occasions.

Her children and mine often play together with my supervision if I am around or my help’s supervision, I invite them to my children birthdays and she does the same.

Now to the main story, this lady stylishly drops her children to my place in the guise that they came to play,( she doesn’t have an help) that is not the issue; the issue is that they come EVERY DAY as in every blessed day and the parents do not bother to come back on time, severally they have come back as late as 9:pm, 10: pm and they will just call them on phone to come out.

Their mum has never for ONCE asked for my permission for them to stay that she will be coming in late, and it is not as if she is coming from work by that time, She is a petty trader in a market close-by and the market shuts down as early as 6:30-7pm.while the husband closes earlier or around the same time too.

At times on Saturday, the children will come to PLAY in the afternoon and won’t leave till late in the evening that was when I started having the feeling that they are purposely leaving their children for me or my house help, while they go out for their events or wedding.

Another issue is that her children especially her daughter plays too rough, I have come back on two different occasion to meet a big swells on my 3 year old, when I asked what happened I was told that the daughter pushed my child and she hit her head on the chair, the recent one that happened was when they were playing and her son pushed my son and he had difficulty in standing or walking till the next day, that day, the time was some minute to 10:pm and they were not back to pick their children, my hubby was very angry and said I always allow people to use me. That I am taking care of people children while the parent are out enjoying themselves. That if anything happens to his son that I will be held responsible. I was very angry that day and I told the children not to be coming to my house again except I am around.

I have told them in the past to come back later that my children are doing their homework, their mum carried face for me, I didn’t even know that was the reason till my help told me she asked her who asked her kids to leave my house.

I feel they are not responsible enough, how can you leave your children with neighbours every day and still come back so late with all these stories going round about child molestation. I feel they are using me and still act as if they don’t know their children are in my house that late with me. How can they leave children out so late?

I also feel it is not a good upbringing for my children so that they don’t feel its right to stay out late.

I feel bad for lashing it out on the children instead of their parents and I have been thinking if I did the right thing by asking them not to come.

NB: Let me also state that my children goes to their house with my help occasionalyl and mostly in the afternoon because I do not allow them stay out late as I myself don’t stay out late. they stay maximum 2-3 hours and I call them to come back.

*What kind of neighbour is this?Please stop her Immediately from using you as a nanny....IMMEDIATELY!!!!


  1. Awww I understand but remember your kids like them too so you’re also getting a benefit and it’s probably better to have them all play where YOU can watch them

    1. Anony 15:06, No you don't understand her because if you do, you won't type this.

    2. Anon15:06, you are just like that neighbour. Insensitive and a user!

    3. No I’m the one that kids come to so I understand that it’s work but I love kids and I understand they just want to be together. I prefer they come to my house. My moms house was like that too
      All my friends came to our house. I know it was work for mom but I’m also sure she didn’t want us to go their house to play

    4. 1st of Madam , u r taking a BIG RISK accepting pples children when u don’t have a license to run a day care, if ANYTHING shd happen to those kids, that woman will show u the stuff she is made of, not minding the help u have rendered
      2ndly u r equally IRRESPONSIBLE To have allowed such rubbish stretch to this point! Have u asked urself a good question pertaining this kids health? What u r exposing ur innocent kids to? A woman so irresponsible cld have transmitted any kind of infection to her kids via any form and u r here talking trash? Do u know there Hiv and d rest status??????
      Pretend u r traveling and ask ur help to also tell her u pple r traveling for 2weeks, with that space, sort urself out biko πŸ‘©‍⚕️
      So many women r fooling themselves, this is a long vac , wen u shd have time to know ur kids and allow them rest. One in my compound will get 2 small kids out and b coming back 8/9/10 for her mind she is HARDWORKING? Indeed. Yet u never move enter duplex since all this yrs. married women don take over RUNS

    5. Yeah, poster, you should have reserved the anger for their parents, you didn’t do well in that respect. I understand it may be transferred aggression but ...
      That said, intermittently tell your neighbor ‘No’. Ask your self the number of hours you can accommodate in a week and when they exceed it say ‘No’.
      Alternatively, you may discuss this with their mother. I think you like diplomacy so you may say that the kids play too much in a week and you want to limit the visits to once a week or so, so your kids and her kids can use that time for something more constructive.
      But if I were in your shoes, hehehe, I will tell her I don’t like the fact that her kids come here almost everyday and they end up picking them late. I believe visits to each other shouldn’t last more than 2 hours so she should be guided and make the necessary updates. (Let the carrying of face begin, people should learn to respect others)

  2. Open your mouth and say how it’s doing you Abeg. If someone is taking you for a ride then you need to call them out on it, I don’t know how you people stay quiet when someone is doing something that annoys or hurts you. Late or not, their kids shouldn’t come to your house “everyday” when it’s not an amusement park. Times must have really changed or maybe it’s how I was brought up but my mum will never allow you go to someone’s house in the name of “play”.

    I remember playing in front of my compound and on my street as a child but never inside anyone’s house. This is how kids will grow up and know the color of everyone’s house because they are always visiting. Catch them young, if someone’s child is rough towards my child I’d caution them and let their parent know to always do the same. Why do we like to sugar coat things, na wa. Your help is even nice, my sister’s friend tried this thing with my sister when she didn’t have help and it didn’t last because my sister told her friend “my help goes for classes, find another alternative”.

    1. She doesn't need to explain anything to the parents and unfortunately the children will never understand why she took that step of sending them away but it is the est. When ever they come to yourehouse keep giving them same excuses of home work or your children needs to rest,they will understand your language and have a rethink.

  3. Please maintain your stand and also don't allow your kids to visit them. I know her type, they will never appreciate even if you kill yourself for them.

    1. I am telling you. While growing up, we were always locked in.
      Who are you visiting?
      Train your kids right and see how they turn out later on.
      Till date, I don’t know how to visit people.

  4. U see a pattern in these chronicles lately. People really like taking advantage! Plz do not feel regret. She can carry her face however she likes . She should focus more on raising her kids by herself instead of having someone else continously take Care of them. She is a user! Good riddance.

    1. Poster just talk to her woman to woman. Some people are insensitive but all out of ignorance. Just make that excuse for her and teach/school her firmly but nicely. Just one of those nights they would come to pick the kids, tell the children to hold on, you step out and talk with "your friend". No need pretending or lying you are travelling. That's for cowards. Hold your dignity and correct her with love in a firm manner.

      Well, that's what I would do.

    2. You have to speak firmly with the parents of those kids. I don't even feel comfortable taking my kids anywhere, let alone leaving them alone for that long. What kind of useless parents are they?

  5. Oh well, you were a bit harsh telling the kids that.
    You should have spoken to their parents instead.
    At this stage,kids don’t understand certain things.
    Their parents are very irresponsible towards those children and disrespectful to your family.
    She could have asked your permission for her kids to stay at your place, she’s feeling entitled.
    You don’t leave your kids with a neighbor and not even care how they are.
    You are being used, cos I know while at your place, you feed them and make sure they are okay.
    The parents know what they are doing....shifting responsibilities while they go out to have fun.
    Thank God nothing bad has happened to either your kids or theirs that would raise brows.
    That’s how some parents abandon their kids for other people to look after, in the process, they are initiated into bad cults, some are molested and raped, some are poisoned.
    If your neighbor likes, she can carry her face for as long as she wants, don’t bother.
    If she had any respect for you, she would have come to you to apologize for what her kids did to yours.
    Those kids are badly raised.
    They need to be responsible. If you as a parent are not able to raise your kids to be responsible, of what use are you?
    What are you teaching them?
    That they can go anywhere they like, anyone they want and return whenever they feel like. That’s wrong.
    How can you you abandon your children for your neighbor from morning till night and not show appreciation?
    Put a stop to it, your kids should stop going to her place too.
    Trouble nor good.

    1. I don’t think it’s harsh to tell the kids to come back later. They come to the door. She can say not today. Come back tomorrow

  6. What is the essence of all these "meetings/alliances?"

    1 Thessalonians 4:11and to make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands, just as we told you, 12so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.

    I have quoted from the manual of life which a lot of people do not bother to know what it contains.
    If you apply the principles of God's Word to your daily life, you have peace, absolute peace.
    Let me warn you that the kind of woman you just presented will not think twice about poisoning you in those "neighborhood meetings" you go to "unwind" or those birthday parties your kids attend.
    Lady mind your family, mind your business. What do you gain? RESPECT.

    I don yarn finish oo 😊😊

    1. You’re scripture shopping. Same bible says fellowship with one another. Jesus associated with peoples and it sometimes gave him grief but he didn’t then say stay on your own

    2. @ anon 15:41 is the commenter Jesus? And even a saint would have complained if u keep passing your responsibilities upon him especially when u are deliberately taking advantage of a person or opportunity.

    3. @15:41
      "fellowship with ONE ANOTHER" meaning other Christians, like minded people and not people who will
      "carry face..." because you did not allow them to break you children's bones.

      Let me even tell you the place you intended to quote but wrongly did;

      Hebrews 10:25 not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing,
      but encouraging one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

      1 Timothy 2:22 Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness,
      faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

      The neighborhood where this lady and that neighbor hang out, is it a Christian fellowship?
      Ajuju kpu oku n' onu oo


    4. Sorry you don’t understand God and you are expected to do greater works than Jesus.
      Christians have never been flawless so saying God expects you to fellowship with only the ones that don’t get mad is simply not scriptural

      And yes the neighborhood small group is Christian. Not only church groups are approved by God

    5. @18:24
      "A group where we UNWIND" has suddenly turned into a "Christian group".
      Nne, not everybody in a Church with you is a Christian inugo?
      The character of this lady you (if you are the poster) presented, is it the character of Christ?
      Someone that will leave her kids, not inform whoever they were in her house and go to party after work,
      return towards midnight and when your husband intervened, she began to "carry face"... is that how Christians behave?
      Can't you see hatred, selfishness, slander etc and other works of the flesh outlined in Galatians 5:19
      in this lady's life?
      Okwa ajuju o. Odi esekwa okwu.
      Ngwanu continue "meetings, birthdays and your small groups unwinding" inugo?
      When you run into the next problem especially with your husband do not forget to write us a chronicle.

    6. Yeah if you need someone to tell you what a small group is then you surely are not in on church lingo

  7. You try ooo. When I packed in to my new place , I noticed this kind of behaviours from my new neighbours. Immediately I told the children point blank to stay off my flat, their mothers got tired of carrying face now it is good morning my neighbours. I bought phones and laptops for my kids and warned them to learn to stay in the house till the holidays are over. If you allow such nonsense neighbours will take you for granted.

    1. This is not good for the kids what’s the point of limiting them to phone and laptop
      It doesn’t help with their social skills and there are living breathing humans to play with. Just do all with boundaries

    2. They socialise in schools and church, to me it is enough.

    3. Anon, kids who live in gated areas have social skills, fantastic ones, you mustn't play with other kids to be social.

    4. Wheee did you read that BB? Don’t just make up generalizations

  8. My dear,please dont even spare a thought on regret.Imagine the nonsense?your kids should stop going there to play as well,you have four kids,they are a whole army on their own,they dont even need an outsider to have fun.If she carries face,you sef get face,carry your own too.Ndi ara!

    1. Anon@ 15:20 your comment got me laughing hard this afternoon! No be small Ndi araπŸ˜‚. Poster if your neighbour like make she carry face for Africa na she sabi

    2. Lmao. I love your response anon 15:22

  9. What rubbish! Please stop it immediately. They shouldn't even be coming everyday!. Once it is dark every visitor should go home so your kids learn to be comfortable and play with themselves. I have kids but they know too well not to stay out late. once its dark everyone should be home, i even use style to send neighbours kids back. So that means they will do breakfast, lunch and dinner, plus snacking tooo? U try!

  10. Poster are you still asking questions?.... I would have stopped them long ago. Imagine an irresponsible parents like that; who knows what their children might have been exposed to. Stop them before they corrupt your children. After all they don't feed you they can cut their friendship with you if they want but stop them immediately like right now.

  11. What you allow is what will continue. Once you realised she was using you, the next day you should have told her you and the children will be going out like that every day till she gets the message. As for carrying face, is she feeding you or something? This life is too short to let people incontinence you using sense. Whenever she comes to drop them, give her the same story of going out till they get tired. If she carries face, don't you have face to carry? Lol. Just try to continue being civil with her that's all.

  12. My dear put a stop to it, it's not right, I don't entertain such, that is why I don't allow my kids go to any neighbours house.

  13. I can totally relate to this story...People also take advantage of people TTC. Av being TTC for about 6 years. My sis in law will bring her children to my house. One of them is a toddler & she wont wear diaper for the child. The child will poo & even wee on the floor in my sitting room. I try not to show any emotion but I get very upset. If I talk now they will it is a blessing since am TTC. Abi it's the one my other sis in law suggested they move children's church Dept to my sitting room because the church was under construction. I suggested we use my compound instead, she said my sitting room is most appropriate. Abeg lemme stop here . Wetin my eyes don see ehnnnn. I pray God answers me soonest.

    1. How long will you continue to endure? TTC is not a disease, and I've been there so don't say I don't know what I'm talking about. I have waited for almost 12yrs, by God's mercy and grace we are now expecting although we just recently adopted a baby girl too.Please talk to your sister-in-law that what she's doing is affecting you emotionally, and its gradually leading to depression. If na me, I'll even add that she's asking for the name of my God with her actions. I remember one church that we once attended early in my marriage, the pastor will be indirectly calling me out whenever there's baby dedication that we TTC should dance out in front of the parents and child. A very small church that everyone knew each other's business. Me I carried face until I left the church without looking back. Its of utmost importance you address the issue with your SIL now before it degenerates.

  14. I can't stand parents like this, always taking advantage of people's warm manner cos their entitled ass want you to care for kids you didn't help them create.

    Cut her off and anybody that has issues with it, you deserve better. And your husband is right, you allowed this. We do no one any favors by enabling their excesses and sugarcoating things.

  15. Put an end to it now. You and hubby should be watchful of that gathering abi meeting to go to with this couple. Nonsense

  16. Helper of zion

  17. When we were growing up, dem no born you well make 6pm catch you outside the house. You will explain the kain play you were playing all the time.

    Madam, your neighbour automatically turned you to a nanny. Let her know that her kids can’t be coming over everyday.

    Btw, does it mean they don’t do homework again cos its all the time play?

    Let her know they can come over during the weekend and can stay till so-so time.
    Let her know that at a certain time your kids need to go to sleep. Meaning they need to come pick up their kids at a certain time.
    Whatever jamboree story you can come up with please do so ‘nicely’ for now.
    I cannot quarrel with my husband because of another person’s kids when their parents have refused to be responsible enough.

  18. if something is bothering you, the only way you can relieve yourself is by airing it out, but you have to do it maturely and positively, and if they continue then stop your children from visiting there too, they will get the message. Some people most times do not know how to be grateful, you have to teach them. That's how my neighbor want to take advantage of my wife because my wife runs a creche. She runs a shop somewhere and will send her children to my house from 7am -8pm, even if the husband is around he will still bring them and say he wants to rest, can you imagine, so its me or my wife that's doesn't know how to rest. This children are between the ages of 4 & 3 so you could imagine the jumping up and down, the feeding and all that. That's how we stylishly told them we can't continue without offence. Now she takes them to her shop. If something is not convenient for you don't die in silence. Call her and talk to her, familiarity does not mean you should be taken for granted.

    1. "The husband brings them and say he wants to rest"...imagine the entitlement!

      People make being hospitable so uncomfortable. Smh

    2. My neighbors were doing same until I changed it for them. They will come upstairs and stylishly leave their children behind every Saturday, the children will inconvenience my girls for hours on end. Plus coming unannounced. One day the children came as usual, I asked 'where are your parents?' They told me their mum and dad said they wanted to sleep. I was like, egbami ke! I immediately told them to go back to their house and tell their parents that my husband and I also wanted to sleep. They gave me a week break and returned a fortnight later. I told my maid to tell them I was sleeping. The girl did not even bother to open the door before delivering my message. The woman met me down stairs and formed anger. She said she felt insulted when my maid told her I was sleeping without even opening the door. I bluntly told her that was the instruction and that she shouldn't take offence. She began carrying face and we all live happily ever after.

  19. Your kids doesnt need such they can play on their own, full squad. Cut her off now carrying face will not kill you

  20. The poster is just like me, small thing i start feeling bad, once someone is upset with me even on my own rights i feel bad and want to make peace. i hate offending people, i hate quarrel, i just love peace but mba, world people will change everything to fight and argument on top nothing serious. i really need to toughen up! poster, you didn't do anything wrong but i'll you should have approached their mother directly and relate your message to her instead of lashing out at the kids.

    1. You better toughen up, we are in a world where soft minded people are easily bullied.
      Once people around you know you are soft like this, they’ll keep taking advantage of you.
      Me I nor dey look anybody face, you can’t put me in that spot, na you go tire.

  21. hian stop ur children and help from going to the house.if she brings her children tell her u going out. 😠

  22. My sister, if you don't like the situation she is putting you, talk to her. Give her time the kids can come over if they must come, because your kids also need their space. I have actually stopped a child from playing with my little boy because I don't like his attitude of entering people's room, eating whatever he is given without his parents approval, plays rough and his parents doesn't seem to bother. My son can copy for Africa, so I try to surround him with thing that can influence him positively.

    She don kukuma turn your house to summer camp. Mtchewww!!

  23. Poster, you did nothing wrong and you need to put down your foot sometimes for the sake of your peace of mind. Reminds me of how my sister-in-law insisted her child must live with me. Her reason? Her husband already decided before they got married that I must raise all their kids because he likes the way I'm bringing up my children

    1. LMAOOO!! 🀣🀣🀣🀣

      Yahoo husband in law 😣😣

    2. This is hilarious and unbelievable at the same time.
      Imagine the foolery!

      So please how did you handle this. come back and complete this gist biko..

    3. Orisirisi.. what will I not read here? So her husband does not consider her good enough to train their kids but will keep getting her pregnant? What happened to the man training his kids the way he wants? Anyway sha, dem see person dump children with noni.

    4. My dear,I just went through a stressful birth,could not walk.under four days hubby got a call that three lil boys will be brought to come live with us becos of some issue bla bla.,they know I will treat them as my own.
      He did not pick the person's call again in months.

  24. I noticed our neighbour's kid who was about 6years at the time would come to our house as early as 7am oo all in the name of play. I told him, in our house kids dont go out of the house before 9am, he should go back home and get some breakfast then wait a while then come back to play. If he comes, nobody will check up on him till I tell him to go back home and have something to eat and rest because I can't be serving him daily otherwise the parents will forget their responsibilities. Some people are just like that, I dont know how they were raised..

  25. This was how one woman wanted to become my friend by fire by force in my former neighborhood. She will stylishly tell her children to come to my house to play. This woman will enter my kitchen and start asking foolish question. Until when my immediate senior sister came to me visit, she was the one God use to help me to stopped her.

  26. i think you should talk to her and find out why she and her husband always come back late but don't make it sound like you don't want her children in your house anymore,jokingly ask her if she is not afraid that something might happen to her kids if the kids continue staying out that late.
    if the kids also eat at your place maybe the family is going to a rough time and they decide to be leaving the kids with you so as for them to eat....if you ask her these questions and she doesn't give you any good reason then you should just tell her that you don't like the fact that they leave the kids with you without your consent and goes about their daily lives.

  27. Poster stop them from coming if you are not comfortable with them being in you and your children's space. Stop your children from going to their house too so the message is clear enough, your children will be fine without them.
    As for the carrying face, you sef carry your own face up and go your way.
    Do not let them manipulate you into doing what you don't want, who selfish neighbour help?

  28. Well as a mother,when I had my first kid,when some things arise about my daughter I don't know how to speak out.i will be suffering silently,till I learnt not to but I have outgrown that.
    Again,I don't allow my kids play with my neighbor kids outside,I used to but I noticed my neighbor did not like it.if my kids come out side and she hears hers are out too,she send them I have learnt to face my fears,
    I asked her ND she explained that her kids like rough play she does not want us to have issues becos of kids.
    I put my family's need above anyone's needs jealously,
    I let you know my hubby beforeand kids comes anybefore friendship or neighborhood relationship.
    You would have told her point blank.
    You owe her nothing,allowing your kids to go and play in someone house is dangerous.i don't allow my kids enter any body's house.
    If school bus drops them and I am not home,they wait outside,if I enter my neighbor house for something,my kids dare not come out to meet me or allowt baby come look for me,cos I stay briefly.
    I trust no one.
    Since u have lashed out ignore her,if she is carrying face, bone her.
    See you owe her nothing,you can not please the world.if that will bring an end to all u and ur kids health have endured then so be it.
    If she tries to rekindle the friendship set your boundaries,don't look allow any one use you.
    And if u leave that area,never allow ur kids play in anybody's house again.
    Stay on your own.

  29. Poster, yes, you are wrong by telling the children not to come to your house again; AS IF YOU DO NOT KNOW THEIR PARENTS. I wonder the church you people attend that you cannot have a one-on-one discussion with your neighbours and church members. You need to discuss these bad parenting issues you are listing here with her.

    I won't ignore the fact that your thinking of her using your help/you is not correct, neither will I absorb her of any wrong when she comes in late and simply calls them on phone to come back home, instead of coming to appreciate you for allowing them to stay without and prior discussion. Meanwhile, what we all Nigerians fail to accept is that we are always UNNECESSARILY FAMILIAR with people and any average Nigerian will take another for granted when they become so familiar. An English adage says "familiarity brings contempt". If you do not want to be taken for a ride, DRAW YOUR LINES.

    I suggest you sit down with her and thrash these issues that bother you with her. If you do not tell her, how would she then stop? It's always good to tell people their wrong to their face to avoid grudges, gossip or hatred. We always forget that Christ has given us a new commandment - love God and love one another. Love covers a multitude of sin.

    Finally, may I bring it to your notice that you do not love her, if you do, you will not see these happenings as big deal, but if they are, then you should have told her before now and it would not have reached like it is now. Let's learn to tolerate one another and be our brothers' keeper.

    1. no now. You were giving a sound advice but the last paragraph isn’t sitting well. The poster is a lovely woman and of course people like her get used. This isn’t about love or whatever. Why didn’t you ask if the neighbor loves her...

  30. Poster you were doing nanny work for free. What if your neighbour's child falls sick suddenly or get injured while playing? Trust me , you will see the other side of her. When next they come to your door, tell them your children are sleeping. Its not your responsibility to look after your neighbour's children.

  31. Poster apart from the nanny work you are doing what about the security aspect. Because the day robbers/kidnappers will use the parents of those kids to reach you because of keeping late night, what the. Be warned.

  32. This one is a very common trick now!
    Mischief using someone as either cook, driver, nanny, hair dresser, cleaner, all kinds of help.
    Just like men like to turn a naive girl or woman into sex slave or prostitute in the guise of "forming relationship."

    Awon (ab)users!!!

    1. Anon 20.12, exactly, your head dey there πŸ‘. Users of life.

  33. Madam you're playing nice when the safety if your children is not guaranteed around her kids?
    And stop allowing your kids to go there to play. Your kids can play with each other or read books. They have enough friends between school and extended family. They don't need the influence of latchkey kids please.
    Are you waiting for her children to break your own children's head first before you take decisive action?

  34. Madam stop that friendship before something crazy happen to your children.

  35. @Poster, kindly put a stop to this rubbish right away. If she carry face, carry your own join.
    That neighbor is nothing but a parasite.
    My neighbor started this kind of rubbish and I put a stop to it immediately. I don't want wahala.

  36. Has happened to me. Don’t open ur door to them. By the time u do it for a week they will respect themselves. Anytime they come say u are going out. Let her carry face. What do u need such an inconsiderate friend for???


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