Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmm Horrible story!!!







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ONE CHANCE HUSBAND


Good day Stella,

I meet my boyfriend (now husband) 5years ago when I was in the University (on the day of the completion of my B.SC).
I didn't even know that he wasn't based in Nigeria,I just thought it was one of the normal campus disturbers and we exchanged numbers.


We went on a date few days after and he told me outrightly that he wants to marry me and not BF & GF level.

Then he took me to meet his parents,they were really happy to receive me and the mum kept saying that I was the first girl he was gonna bring home that he's so stubborn and hardly relate with people nd not even a romantic person so she was so happy and calls me almost all the time to check on me same with his dad.


Please Note That---->>He has never given me gifts,money or anything at all in all of this and i never asked for a day but Stella i love this man genuinely and sooo much and God Almighty knows as I am so quick to tell everyone around me that cares to know about him.
Then along the line I found out he was a British Citizen(his passport) when I saw him off to the Airport few weeks after we meet.


The 2nd time he was to travel down to 9ja he was a bit broke because he wasn't working as at that time then I helped him with 100k from my business money (and he told his cousin that I'm nice,that I completed his ticket fee,his cousin told me,though I can't say if he was only testing me but I did that out of pure love that hasn't changed till date and he returned it a week after).


We dated for 5years but it was a distance relationship and I have never ever cheated on him for a day.

We finally got married November last year 2018 and he left a day after our wedding ceremony so no honey moon-nothing,after the normal relationship ups and downs but Stella it seems I'm the one who loves this man and he just like me and that's it.

He's not romantic,hardly plays,not free with my family except he calls my mum and my brother once in a while even tho he's not the gentle type,and abuses me at will,beats me sometimes (like 3 times and even when i was pregnant but my family isn't aware,but his is aware and they have warned him never to beat me again when we have issues)and feels he's doing me a favour being married to me and that through him I'll travel out. 

When I talk he'll say I'm rude and arrogant and lousy,when I decide to keep quite he'll say he knows my type and that I'm secretive that it is my type that will come abroad and now starts forming coup of friends nd starts talking back at ones husband nd all. I don't know what he wants me to do as he doesn't even take my advice on anything at all nd I don't pass my boundaries.

I got pregnant and I lost the pregnancy at 25weeks 4days (6months).Oh I cried bitterly and I stay alone with no family and friends around me,it was so hard for me but God helped me.


He came to 9ja last month and he couldn't make love to me for days,Stella i was pained and sad because it was my right and its not like we are living together yet.


I don't check his phone and you can't even check his phone cos he has heavy security in there but he checks mine and checks my email too.
Then I stepped out of the house angrily to go ease my anger and he kept drinking Red wine,on getting back home i went straight into the room and I saw him on the bed drunk and I guess he was pressing his phone and while at it he slept off unknowingly with the phone opened.



Then I took the phone and was wondering what he was up to for avoiding sex with his own wife haaa Stella I saw alot!
Same November we got married my Husband went to a house party in the US and was caressing and romancing a strange lady in a get together and he was being videoed on his phone and he even snapped raunchy pictures with the lady and I know they had sex with all I saw.


Then naughty chats with different ladies over there and the ones he takes on dates etc while I'm mourning the loss of the baby.
Then he travelled to Spain few days bfor his trip to 9ja and he meet a lady there (her name is Priscy)who stays close to his place in Milton Keynes and they got close and had sex 2days after cos I saw the chat nd all,not even with the lady alone with other Snapchat ladies.

I took the ladies numbers and I added them up on whats app and we became friends and I was able to get a lot of information from them.
Priscy told me how they meet and she said she's 22 and how he lied that he's 29,that she even asked him y he isn't married and she said he told her he's looking for the right woman,and she feels they could start something up that was why they had sex and knowing all this she's so disappointed and asked me why I'm not yet with him that he sees him as a flirty person and in her own word she said "Men Are Scum" and "Sis u Gotta Be Strong"......


BV's my husband is 38yrs old,hardly plays with me,stingy and makes me calculate every penny to him bfor he give me pocket money yet goes on vacations,clubs,expensive stores to get clothes and says he only has one life to live.

The most painful thing was when he came to 9ja he purchased a property and he didn't include my name,no Stella I'm not after what he has and God sees my heart but at least we are now married and we are one as been laid down by God.


He doesn't wear his wedding ring right from d 2nd day of our wedding,and when I complain he says it's paining him in his hands whenever he's clapping in church or says it falls off giving me different excuses till date.


He's aware I know about all his side pieces and s#xcapades now and Priscy I found out he had sex with few days before he came and another Cherry i took on a date and how she forgot her phone in his car but he kept saying he used condom with Priscy and he begged me.


I try to take it off my mind and forgive him as the marriage isn't even up to a year because all this happened last week,he has gone back but the whole thing still plays in my head and how the lady told me how he fucked her and the rounds and she was really opened to me and also apologised that she's sorry and will back off as he lied to her.


I can't say I hate him or dislike him but Stella something isn't right,I can't just take it off my head and I pray the Marital joy comes back,he thinks I have let it go and we had a little issue yesterday about my pocket money(because he made me leave my banking job before marriage when i was pregnant and I have no stable source of income presently but I do little business) Stella he started insulting me that the only thing i know is food and pocket money for someone that doesn't even give me much o and he sent me 20k,but before i could say anything this man just blocked me on his 2 WhatsApp and that is the way he does anytime he's angry and he gets angry easily and I in turn blocked him but I unblocked him few mins after.

I'm down,sad and depressed,this marriage isn't up to a year and I'm already seeing all this please Stella and good people of this blog what should I do,he hasn't called me today,I'm 27 by the way.

Please don't mind the mistakes,I'm not in the right frame of mind.

God bless.



*This is what happens when you marry someone you didn't date properly...Look at five wasted years....This man is a one chance husband and it wont get better,brace yourself for the worst....I don't know how far you are willing to go but if you were my sibling,i would drag you out of that marriage and if that does not reset his brain,then bye bye to him....

How can your husband block you on Whats app and behave so irresponsibly?
You need to get a Job my dear,you live at the mercy of this man and it is wrong...get your life back,being married does not mean Jail term....
And tell your family about the abuse before his next slap send you to th World beyond!

187 comments:

  1. Please singles snoop well before you say 'I do' to be in the safer side

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some are good in hiding their sexcapade. May God help us.

      Delete
    2. here's my 2cent advise. babe use this knowledge to get your UK passport, guilttrip gim. IT'S YOUR RIGHT !Then when you get to UK, EMPOWER YOURSELF AND LEAVE HIM!!!


      Delete
    3. Sweetheart you're married to yourself ooo! He is a British citizen who stays in one of the most expensive areas in London and you are still in Naija begging for pocket money.

      I believe you know what to do because the only advice you can take is the one you give yourself.

      Delete
    4. I have been here for over four years now as a BV and in all these years, most advises given to women is that don't ever resign because of marriage.

      Four years after, women on this blog will send their stories and still say the left their so so so job because of their husbands and marriages.

      Una brains na wa o. Is it that its only used for the moment or what?

      Delete
    5. I am a guy. Thank God you dont have children yet. This is a mistake that you can still salvage. I dont advocate divorce lightly....you need to walk away from this marraige, period. This isis not marraige it is slavery. He married you to have a grounded 'Nigerian' wife to have kids for him. As a citizen of the UK bringing you over is a walk in the park. That he was going to even leave you to give birth here in Naija, says volumes. Cuz you were already 6months gone. You are simply supposed to be the wife back home, that cannot divorce him and take his properties, and still bare him children. You married irresponsibility. This guy married to fulfill righteousness. This union if you dont walk out while you can is going to wreck you physically, emotionally, mentally and spritually, and feel free to add any more 'llys' you can think of. There is no light at the end of this tunnel, its a dead end. You're 27 there is still so much time to find love and start over.
      Dont be afraid, whats the worst that can happen. And please for God's, dont be drawn to stick around because of citizenshio, dont do it, that thought is a set up!!

      Delete
    6. @Zinny who told you Milton Keynes is in London? Who told you it is an expensive place to live in? Sorry, They lied to youπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    7. I don't even believe this story. too much exaggeration. lemme continue sipping my zobo

      Delete
    8. My dear, get a job, make your money and dump his stupid ass. Dont get pregnant for him again. Oops, you cant, he doesnt make love to you. That nigga isn't ready for marriage. Cut your losses and move on. For someone that has a British passport, why are u even still in Nigeria? Yuzless hediot of a horseband!

      Delete
    9. Madame,
      Step 1. Go for medical check-up, run tests just to be sure that this man never dash you STD or STI.
      Step 2.End that SITUATIONSHIP called marriage already
      Step 3.For your peace of mind and sanity, Talk to your close friends-people you trust, open up to your family,let them be aware of your plights
      Step 4.Change your current enviroment and while at it, get a job
      Jezz, you're 27 and going through all of this.
      You need to get your life and groove back
      You deserve more than this
      It ain't gonna be easy but trust me you'll be fine.

      Now get your silly ass up and start moving.

      Delete
    10. Keeneye, if I didn’t know better, I’d have said you read my mind.
      Dear poster, you’re married to a very, very bad man, the one thing I’m happy about in your story is that you didn’t start by saying he’s a good man cos na the anthem be that.

      He has no plans whatsoever to move you over to join him, he’s even told you he suspects you’ll be badly behaved if you relocate.
      You’re still young, pls don’t waste your time. It’s a pity but this man has given you every reason to leave - cheating, domestic violence, emotional abuse, overbearing behaviour, monitoring your communication and even stingy after getting you to resign.

      Are you happy?
      Are you truly happy with the way things are for you?
      You’re made for more than this.

      Delete
    11. Milton Keynes is a nice area though, and the schools there are good. Better and more calm than London. Just that no groove like London, but good for family.

      Delete
    12. Another horrible story? May be I should stop reading chronicles because it depresses me to no end.

      Delete
    13. Modella please believe this story.
      The questions you girls don't ask yourselves is why a matured man will leave abroad and come home to marry.
      All those good for nothing men that can't even feed themselves well.

      Delete
    14. Milton Keynes is one of the most expensive places in London????? I reserve my comment

      I agree with Keeneye, You got married November 2018 and he hasnt filled papers for you ?? He wants to make you his Nigerian wife simple. At 25 weeks you baby was viable and if you were in the UK, they would done everything possible to save the baby's life (assuming the pregnancy was complication free )

      Seems like you want to stay in the marriage so I cant tell you what to do but know that you deserve more than you are getting

      Delete
    15. Modella where is the exaggeration in the story? If you don't have what to say wake pass and don't dismiss the story.

      Delete
    16. Keeneye has said it all. As a guy, I can assure you this guy is an abusive control freak. HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU AND WILL NEVER LOVE YOU. In fact with guys like these, the more submissive you are the more he detests you. You need a game plan and if I were you, I will block him and ghost him for months. Let him wonder what you are up to for a change. Then pour all your energy into getting a great job. DO NOT MAKE THE MISTAKE OF GETTING PREGNANT FOR HIM. Make it a condition that until he files for you and you are safely in the UK will you consider having a child. When that happens, leave him! He is a nasty piece of work and the last thing you want is for him to give a big disease with a little name!

      Delete
    17. @ Kenyee, well said.

      My dear, I live in the uk and I will advise you like I will advise my sister.

      You see ehh, some of these men marry because of pressure not because they want to spend the rest of their life with you or even love you.

      This so called horseband is British and has not filed for you, why? Because he wants his freedom and maybe doesn't trust you will be submissive and even hand over your salary to him when you get here.

      Even If he files for you, you have about 6years to get your British passport because are his dependant. He will make your life a living hell, he will phhysically abuse you and emotionally torture you knowing that your stay is dependent on him. He will say you an ingrate and If you are not strong enough and have good support here, you may end up with mental issues.

      This is the time to run away without looking back, this is the time to tell yourself the truth, admit you got it wrong because he won't change and end that rubbish marriage.

      Start looking for a job, uk is not paradise and if God wills that you will live abroad, you will.

      Do you not want to be happy in life? Is this the kind of low life you want to spend the rest of your life with? Go and dust your cv, empower yourself, get out of that one chance, get your groove on,pray to God and love will find you again. This time pay attention to the red flags. Pele and all the best.

      Delete
    18. Madam one of the most expensive places in London. Milton Keynes is not in London.

      Delete
    19. Thank you @keneeye, you've said it all. Poster, Sorry for all he's making you go through. At 38 he is this irresponsible, I'm not sure he'll ever change.

      Delete
    20. @yetty, I believe she said the milton Keynes was in Spain or so where he went on vacation.
      What again did I remember from the replies, someone said u should guilt trip him into filing for u, that's the best bet, find something and put inject,like a contraceptive so u don't take in, use him to achieve UK citizenship and scramble. For now play the fool, u hv forgiven him and all. Get ur hands on those papers and run, he will never change

      Delete
    21. ..and scram( run) not scramble

      Delete
    22. Okayoo, I change my advice ,since it takes so long to get UK citizenship, it's better I leave now and start all over again, look for a job or biz and start from there

      Delete
    23. Anonynous 17:29 i see am too, Milton Keynes(MK) the most expensive area in London???? HEHEHE.
      Blog poster. My sister you can walk away it's not late ooo..

      Delete
    24. Keeneye God bless you!!! She is a Nigerian wife.
      Also, he saw her naivity at 22, fresh graduate, innocent Nigerian girl. So he went for it. He was on campus that day for a mission.

      Also, his family is part of his scam. All that talk of him not bringing anyone home was part of the plot to make you feel comfortable, relaxed and special. So sorry my dear

      Delete
    25. Keeneye, you are spot on. I was in this kinda boat once. Married to a guy who kept giving excuses why my green card was not processed. I was in that sham for 7 years before my eyes cleared. I left the union after 7 years of lies, lies and more lies from his family. I divorced him legally after 12 years of marriage. However, I started dating someone else after 9 years, he is so loving and waiting for me to get divorced. We are married today!!!. My sister, don't be like me who wasted so many years. Arise and shine for your light as come

      Delete
    26. Imagine?? A british citizen that should quickly file for you so that you can come and birth 'his' child in the uk is still dou3ng sme sme, blocking you and doing all sorts of childish stuff. NHS is free and you will get good medical attention so I don't understand why your foolish husband does not care about your wellbeing.

      Even the emotional trauma he gives you may have caused you to lose your pregnancy. My dear, you are single to stupor,free yourself from this bondage.

      Delete
  2. Madaam. Sorry o. The man is a free giver.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I married at 38. My family and sometimes even I thought it was the worst thing ever marrying "late".

      When I read chronicles here ehn, I go down on my knees and appologise afresh for the years I wasted in pains and ungratfulness thinking God hated me because I was single.

      At 38, I eventually married a man who have given me 4years and counting years of perpetual honeymoon unending.

      God I am sorry. God, for the years I lived in blasphemy. I am sorry for not trusting that you have my life in your hands. I am sorry for allowing depression creep in at some point. Thank you for giving me peace on every side. Thank you for the continued bliss and affluence as you promised.

      Delete
    2. Amen oh Sapphire! It seems like God has forgotten your case file once you’re past 30 and unmarried. God please let me not marry my enemy because I’m rushing. Please send my own ordained life partner my way

      Delete
    3. @sapphire, I will 33 next month and I bless the name of the Lord I didn't marry before coming to Lagos. Will be 4yrs in lagos by Nov, I didn't know what God did for me oh! now my eyes are wild open, no man will mess with me, no inlaw will mess with me. issa fire for fire things, nobody will do me a favour marrying rather it's the other way round. " he who finds a wife"

      Delete
    4. Poster,

      I was in a similar situation, though I dated this person for about a year and we were in Nigeria. Ọ was just like you, young and just graduated We were married for three months when I saw his chats with ladies both home and abroad. That same hour I packed my load and went back to my house because I knew there was no hope. I filed for divorce a while later. No useless man will make start praying 'God return my husband' just after three months of marriage.

      My sister there is no road here oh, to open this road you go pray Taya and even then it might not happen. You didn't marry your own husband. I will advice you to cut your little losses now and move on with your life. Leave this man, he will not change. He just wanted a you d Nigerian wife to give him kids while he continues to live like a bachelor.
      God help you to make a right decision

      Delete
    5. My candid advice for you????????? RUN!!!!!!!!!!

      Delete
  3. For your sanity, please stop chatting with his side pieces. Get your mind busy with other things make this your single husband no give u HBP, cos he's single as far as he's concerned.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tell u.... he married her for his family. If he's a British citizen, why has he not taken her with him? Dating for 5yrs b4 getting married means enuf time to prepare for his bride to join him right after wedding. Hmmm....

      Dear poster, pls do u remember the dreams you had for tourself as a girl? Pls pick those dreams back, tou really need to get back to the drawing board of ur life and plan it in such a way that whether the guy features or not, you will still live your dream life. This guy has not plan for you, pls do urself the favour to have a plan for ur own life.

      Delete
    2. Husband that is treating you like trash, you are still wasting your data to call his side pieces who don't give a damn. You better go and look for work and get out of that rubbish you call marriage.

      Delete
    3. Royal tribe, this type of man will never marry and take abroad o.
      Them full here living in shared flats and sleeping and eating free food from one lady to another.

      Delete
  4. And you think you have a husband? I laugh in Chinese.
    Darling, this man married you to please his family. I’m certain they are the type to say “don’t bring white woman home, marry a woman from the soil and all that nonsense”. You got played and now you have to decide what you really want.

    I really dislike it when women who suffer from domestic violence still try to “salvage” a relationship or marriage. What exactly is your deal breaker? Is it STDs, or beaten to death because these are your only options when you continue to stay with men who do not value their lives (sleeping with all kinds of women) and yours. You are even worried he came home and didn’t touch you, as in you still feel something for this man despite all you described? I’m perplexed.

    My diagnosis is that most women in your situation, do not love themselves and do not believe they deserve better. Also stems from probably lack of family love, why are you hiding what you are facing from your family? Do you think they won’t support you and if not, why? Why can’t you take a stand for your sake and happiness? This is not marriage and I’m tired of seeing these kind of stories play out. I will never for the life of me understand why women find it hard to walk away from situations that endanger their lives? This one too qualifies as husband? Na wa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doppel,if she doesnt try to salvage what is left alot of people would still ask her if she atleast tried.
      I think she was carried away by the idea of the man, all he had and the likeness his parents showed her.
      I agree he married her for the sake of it. He doesnt seem as one who is ready to be responsible.
      The sad part is she leaving her life behind in the name of marriage.
      Im sure the poster has not gotten to her breaking point else she wont need anyone to tell her what to do.
      Poster you are still young and i dont doubt that you are beautiful too. Please get your life back.

      May

      Delete
    2. @Doppelganger I am utterly disgusted by how some ladies leave their careers because you are getting married.. mouthwatering job for that matter..Just like the other lady wey sell her business because yeyebrity wan marry her.. Women you need to do better and being a doormat.

      Delete
    3. It's like once marriage is mentioned, the brain disappears with the Miss title.

      Delete
    4. @WEB sometimes leaving your career when you get married is inevitable. Most people don't do it voluntarily. Priorities change with certain life changes. Stop generalising and I am sure you Neva marry.

      Delete
    5. I left my job when I got married because my husband lived very far away in the north east. He works with FG, I was in a private company. I haven't gotten a job, nor do we have kids yet. I have savings. If you leave your job, make sure you have savings and investments. Secondly, study your man, is he worth it? How does he behave under financial pressure? You'll know during the courtship. I miss having my own money. But, I'm not fighting the man for an allowance. I know allb his finances and he's open to me.

      Delete
  5. You are still very young. You have your whole life ahead of you. Please leave the marriage and start all over. You made a mistake but learn from it. Your miscarriage was a blessing. If you continue with this marriage and have kids with you, you will regret it eternally.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OMG OMG OMG! I can’t believe what I just read!!! Please poster I beg you in the name of God Almighty wake up and be smart my God how can you be so dence??? You’re letting him waste your life and youth?? You’re very very very young at 27!!!! Stand on your feet give him an ultimatum to file your spouse visa for you or else you leave the marriage!!! Not like you won’t leave the marriage anyway because you’re married to a very very terrible man! Let him file for you and when you get to the UK dump his ass and start a life here in the UK and if he doesn’t file for you still dump him because at 27 you’re very young and will still meet someone who will adore you! I’m 30 and I am still turning men down as I will not let society dictate my life for me!!! Please stannd up and act now!

      Delete
    2. @18:32 he wont file for her. If he wanted to it's the easiest thing to do for a Brit - except he doesn't have a good job. But for someone who travels and parties as such, he isnt doing so badly to file for her.

      Delete
  6. Firstly the man married you just for his parents in Nigeria, he never loved you and he won't love you.

    That marriage has no future, all he needed from you is kid/s for his parents. The earlier you realize your mistake, count your losses and get back to town, the better for you




    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's obvious you love this man much more than you love yourself.
    If you love yourself you will never settle for a man who married you because he just wanted to get married and not because he loves you.
    Physical abuse, emotional abuse, abandonment, lies cheating etc. This is a very horrible story indeed.
    Girl you should learn to love yourself and watch yourself become emotionally detached from him. Find a job ASAP and become useful to yourself. You don't want to live a baby girl life also? You are just 27! Tell your family so that the much needed support you require will be available for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam!!! Ladies marry men that worship the ground you work on.. your duty is not to love but to respect him...I thought all these one chance marriage was gone in the last decade.. Ladies pls...

      Delete
  8. I will marry and it will be a blissful marriage

    I will marry and it will be a happy marriage


    I will marry and it will be a fun marriage


    I will marry and it will be a fruitful marriage.


    I will marry and it will be a friendly marriage

    I will marry and it will be a stressless marriage


    I will marry and it will be a 'loveful' marriage.

    I will marry and it will be a lasting marriage.





    Poster, I'm really sorry about your plight and I hope u get suggestions that help u towards the path of healing

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen o. Same here. My marriage would be an enjoyable one. If 99% of men are scum, I will marry from that 1% that isn't scum. One thing is certain for me. I must have my own source of income,nothing like depending on any man for all of my needs. Aunty poster, I don't think you have a husband o. Better look for job and start flexing your life. If you die, he would replace you with someone else. You're still young, act like it. Put all your flexing videos on the platforms, he would be sure to see it. It takes two to make a marriage work. Since, he doesn't want to make an effort, let him be. Enjoy your life o. Na only one life we get for this world. If you die, you die. No Lazarus procedure o..Don't carry man matter for head. Women who do, end up becoming a shadow of themselves.

      Delete
    2. its not by mouth

      Delete
    3. By the way, i'm a famous BV you like, i had to go anonymous

      Delete
    4. Eka Joy, I say ‘Amen’ to your prayers.

      Delete
    5. Go girl. A woman should know what they are worth. My boyfriend tried to break me, control me but it didn't work so he decided to abuse me mentally. I just ditched him because I don't want any man to change my personality. Women always remember that you had a life before you married that man. If he can't make your life better then he has no business being in your life.

      Delete
  9. See the wonders ohh - my dear sorry for the loss of your child but i like to see the positive in all this .

    Condom or no condom, you are at risk of STI's and even spiritual attacks by continuing in this marriage.

    I can guarantee you that this horseband of yours is most certainly NOT going to relocate you to the UK

    The loss of your child is perhaps a wake up call to walk away clean, from this sham of a marriage - you are the only one married to urself in case you dont know.

    AND please, like stella said, TELL YOUR FAMILY because when shit hits the fan (and it will), his FAMILY will always have HIS BACK

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam, if you don't note anything in all sylvia wrote. Please note this - HIS FAMILY WILL ALWAYS HAVE HIS BACK, even when it is obvious he is in the wrong. And you will be the one to lose still.

      Even though it is not easy (I have been there too), put your self together, get your life back, move on with your life. You are so young. Why should you resign your destiny to this?

      Delete
  10. This one is married to herself

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a story. Madam, walk away from that marriage. It has no foundation
    Your husband is useless and would never change. Many of us also left useless marriages and are happier now. Your happiness matters. Forget what people would say. They would always talk. Why live miserably?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Straight to the point, madam divorce this man.
    Divorce him divorce him.
    That's not marriage at all.

    ReplyDelete
  13. If u are single and you read chronicles daily and u do not learn from it sisters I wonder if u can ever learn. Poster whatever you have there is not what a marriage should be like !Its toxic and its not how one should live. Keep searching for a better job so u can add to growing your business. Ur financial freedom is the first step to being free! Men like ur husband do not change. They only move on to their next victim.
    Sisters I hope you have heard! Stop quitting jobs for men. You do not owe them your life! Your job! Your financial security. This chronicle is making me so angry and sad.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Bini Some ladies no dey learn or hear..Once they hear ''abroadian someone..Their pussies will be oozing for marriage..namsense.

      Delete
    2. @ what else, you went too far. The abroadian need not be there, just mention marriage and most women suspend their sense.
      It hurts to see these things all the time, considering how powerful and intuitive we are.
      A man says marriage, and immediately they give away their power (financial, emotional et all), lay down and start competing with the ground on how low they can be. It's seen as correct wife material quality just how much suffering you can take.
      Issorite.

      Delete
  14. Ooh my goodness, please dear as he has gone back kindly look for a job ASAP. You can't possible depend on this man the rest of your life. What is 20k in this present day naija. He is very heartless to crown it all a cheat and woman beater. Girl you need to give this marriage a break and focus more on your welfare. I'm so pissed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously, what is 20k. After making your hair, what do u have left of that 20? Hmmmm.... my sister, abeg ooo

      Delete
    2. That is like 30 pounds fa. Transport fare money. This guy is wicked.

      Delete
  15. This thing called marriage. The other day I just dey wonder if I go fit do am.

    Lack of love and communication in fact everything is just wrong for this ona marriage. Distance didn't help matters too. I learnt the hard way not to love a man too much in a way that he sees it. I go love you oo but you go invest more than me emotionally. One sided too much love is frustrating.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bonita, you fit do am o.
      I've realised that marriage is easy when you marry your friend, marry someone that communication isnt difficult with. Be with someone you can goof around with. Whether he has little or much let your peace with him be key and know him enough. Marriage is beautiful with the right person, but you too have to be the right person.

      May.

      Delete
    2. There is no manual for a happy home biko.

      Delete
  16. Jesus! I don't want to believe this😧 some men are wicked and heartless. Is it not better to divorce him? Why stay in this kind of toxic environment. I lack what to say right now. Marriage these days is becoming something else. It's well with you poster

    ReplyDelete
  17. leave that animal called husband

    ReplyDelete
  18. Chai!!! And your husband's parents actually told you. He's not romantic and very stubborn but you taught he loved you and they were joking. Sometimes listen carefully before jumping into marriage. Please get a job poster and live your life. Your horseband pass onechance. Hes gone!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah she was thinking it was just mere talk. Gosh the man is extremely wicked at 38 years still behaving irresponsible. Please take a long walk from this one sided marriage.

      Delete
    2. Exactly!! The writing was on the wall...Mene Mene sekene...Mtshewww

      Delete
    3. hahahahaha mene mene ......

      Delete
    4. The is nothing but a wicked soul. Gosh!

      Delete
  19. My dear, be strong. Take him to God in prayers. Don't leave him, watch war room and continue to be a good wife. That is until he eventually infects you with an incurable STD or beats you to death. Shiooooor.
    People are still hanging on to toxic marriages in the 21st century? nawa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please what is war room?

      Delete
    2. A movie anon 21:38

      Delete
    3. A special room you build to conduct warfare with your husband.

      Delete
  20. His mum already hinted you about the kind of man he is when he took you home. That was the first red flag. If a mother tells me that her son is stubborn, heady and all sort, I will pick my shoes and run.

    The way out is to inform your mother how your less than a year marriage has turned out. Don't put them in the dark. At least, he came to beg your people for your hand in marriage.

    He married you because he knows you're a meek lady that is easy to manipulate. God will be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  21. First of all, i so upset you left that banking job of yours because of him!
    Anyway please try to get another job or start up a good business.
    I am in a marriage like this sadly, and believe me when i say it will get worse!!!
    Mine is only different because i have two beautiful kids and i keep saying if not for the kids i wud have walked out.
    I still want to do that so bad!
    Please it is either u walk out now that there is no child, or you wait till he processes papers for you to join him in the abroad, then leave him when u get there!( that is if he is planning to file for you anytime soon!)
    I doubt he will change, strongly doubt.
    He may manipulate you to the point of feeling less of yourself, dont let that happen before u decide. Hugs!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @anonymous I am more than angry myself..because of marriage, she was ready to lose herself esteem...Awon he will take care of me, make I leave my job..

      Delete
    2. How will being angry help you or this poster?
      But why are you even surprised? Most women do not
      consider all that once they know that the guy is
      based abroad.

      Delete
  22. Hmmmmm..... God Knows i cant cope with such men. May God help you in ur marriage is all i can say. Just within the space of one year you have been through all of this, plus the fact that you guys are not leaving together and things are like this. Only God knows what will happen if you started leaving under the same roof.

    ReplyDelete
  23. What kind of ozeba marriage did you enter? Na wah o

    ReplyDelete
  24. Always have your own, i can't stress this enough.

    There's a vast difference with the way he treats you when y'all were dating and you were independent VS now y'all re married and you re dependent on him.

    It's obvious you want this marriage to work but I don't see this man changing any time soon. He is mean to you for no reason, are you not bothered about that? Jeez!

    In just 1 year, DV and cheating already abound..You are playing with fire, sis.

    You are sad, down and depressed cos all you do is sit at home and groan. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and get back to work or at least empower yourself with a skill. And report his ass! Stop shielding an abuser.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Madam, you married yourself... You married one of those Londoners with complex and anger issues, some of them even have mental health issues (one of my uncles is on this table)

    UK citizen, came back to Nigeria, saw my aunty and rush rush got married to her and returned back to the UK after one week, my aunty was pregnant and she was in for a long thing. My uncle returned after five good years, although he was sending her monies, cars and she lived comfortably in their house, but that was never enough. That beautiful woman suffered and when my uncle finally came after five years plus, my aunty received the beating of her life (they had no understanding of themselves)
    My uncle was a sick UK citizen man and there are many of them like that. They're always in a haste to pay the bride price.

    Poster, go back to your family. You're an educated woman with family members, do not allow that to kill you. He is sick.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster cooy and paste this advice and read it every morning. That husband of yours has some serious mental health issues o. You can choose to stay but just know you are in for a looooooooong thing. May the force be with youπŸ™…

      Delete
    2. Mrs A you know them. There is one we know 50 and single, my sister decided to help him and hook him up with her friend. The warning he gave the lady on the phone no be here.
      Recently I heard he just suffered a mental breakdown. So many sick men abroad.

      Delete
    3. Ms A Your uncle reminds me of that guy from Jenipha's diary from season 1 or was it season 2? πŸ€”πŸ€”

      Delete
    4. As the men are in haste to marry, some of our beautiful girls are desperate to get hooked with men in the abroad.
      You marry today, you won’t get to see your hubby until 10 years later. Won’t try that.

      Delete
  26. Pls I beg u in the name of God.leave this mirage.this is not marriage at all . Under 1 year.what da heck!.....he doesn't love you,he doesn't have respect for you,damn bloody cheat and womaniser.if you want to stay,be prepared to live miserably for the rest of ur life.He might infect u with disease too.pls do something!

    ReplyDelete
  27. When you hear 'i want to marry you', dont get excited. Dont leave your sense behind. You need to do your home work.
    Dont play yourself, poster you married a narcissist.
    Im sorry but this parcel you got would drain you so bad. I wish you had looked deeper.
    I dont know how long distance work, but mehn that stuff is crazy and i applaud people who do it, cause the story is usually different when they settle.
    A phone relationship is very different from the one you get to see and relate with frequently.
    Poster for the sake of your sanity, just unload all the load youve seen and work on your own happiness cause that horseband of yours would drive you crazy if you let him.
    Biko no lady should form miss independent for any man. You might not literally ask, but make sure unku is a giver.

    May

    ReplyDelete
  28. Dear poster, you have no business with that man.
    Reading your chronicle has angered me. Your husband hasn't been kind and respectful towards you.
    He will NEVER change his ways.
    He has broken you enough, don't take more of it any longer.
    You should take steps to get seperated from him. Imagine losing your pregnancy that way.
    That man does not deserve you, end that marriage.
    As long as you are with him, you won't ever be happy, you won't get the insentive to search for a job or a gainful employment.
    Life is beautiful and sweet when you are with the right partner, you should not meddle in a toxic relationship as it would undermine your health.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Sluttychic Leave her make she dey do lovey lovey when na only she dey the relationship...Mtshew..You left your career for an agafu...

      Delete
    2. @what else bitch, the man is wicked. He’s hardly around, yet asked his wife to stop working.
      Wifey on the other hand, lose her senses to marriage. Is this what it takes to be married?
      God forbid I stop work/business cos of “husband” I know the house I come from.
      Poster, where were your parents and siblings when you agreed to stop work?

      Delete
    3. Good question my dear...Imagine leaving your marriage because of son of a bi%$ch

      Delete
  29. Guy just used you to please his parents. I can't even pity you.

    Everything about him is wrong and horrible. If you can continue, fine but if you can't, just call it off now.. It's still very early.
    Forever is too long o.

    ReplyDelete
  30. So sorry about the bad man you married but the truth here is you have already married him and I doubt if he'll allow you to divorce him if you wanted to. Just take it to God in prayers cos it is only a miracle that can change this man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What do you mean by allow??? Errr madam this is nit the stine aga. All she need to do is file for a divorce and have the will to go through with it. Thank God she has a family. Even if thwy dont support her at first, shejust needs the will to go theough with it.
      Can you imagine this kinda talk?!

      Delete
    2. Jene you are indeed unique. Marriage is it by force? you are talking about "allow "

      Delete
    3. You doubt he’ll allow her?
      Is she a 2 year old that she’ll be needing his permission?
      SMH for some kind reasoning nowadays.

      Delete
    4. She doesn't need his permission but she can't file for divorce until the marriage is at least 2 years. It is known as the 2 year rule. She can move out and be separated, though.

      Delete
    5. Take it to God in prayers πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      The babe should dump that boy already.
      There’s nothing to fix dear prettyjene.

      Delete
    6. Fada lawd πŸ™†πŸ™†
      Jene, are you for real? 🀦
      That's why it's not good to pity women sometimes. Their limit for nonsense is excessive.
      Kpele ma.

      Delete
  31. what wont I read on this blog o. hahahahahahaha, I almost spilled my water when I read he took off ring 2nd day, the wedding ring pains his hands when he is clapping in church? does this one even know the way to church???
    My dear your horseband is not a married man o, only you is in dat marriage. Even single guys don't cheat like how dis ur part-time horseband cheats. Not only does he cheat without regard, he even beats you join.
    Don't you dare think of getting pregnant again, you need out of that marriage. His parents know hes irresponsible reason they like you and are happy another person will help them tame their dog of a son.
    I always wonder why parents of irresponsible men are always nice to girls they bring. That is how my mums friend even bought the engagement ring herself from dubai, the ring her irresponsible son used in proposing to his fiancΓ©.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Walahi..Some parents are wicked...They prefer to transfer their 'problems' for another man daughter or son to suffer..Shege Banza!!

      Delete
    2. Imagine! After spoiling the child, they want to offload him on a hapless female!
      Mtchewwwww

      Parents! Listen up. If you refuse to bring up your son to be a responsible, mature, kind adult, and expect to dump him off on someone’s daughter, just know that your own daughter will marry your son’s twin in character. Nonsense!

      Delete
  32. dear poster, i know its not going to be easy right now but if am to tell you the truth,please leave that marriage as soon as you can. that man is a killjoy and you have to leave for your peace

    ReplyDelete
  33. I doubt you’ll leave this marriage, so just protect yourself from STDs. Use condoms and get tested regularly. Get a good job, have friends, live your best life etc. Won’t be easy at first but you’ll get there. Just see yourself as married on paper but living single as your husband clearly is. Don’t waste your energy fasting and praying for someone who is enjoying himself to the max (except you want to lose weight). Yet to see all those Nigerian women praying for cheating husbands that the husband stops cheating except he’s broke or sick from old age. He’s a cultured man who loves foreign women, fancy things, and vacations but doesn’t see you as part of that. Sadly it’s the same for many (most) Nigerian men who prefer to travel to fancy places with their mistresses and leave their wives at home then pretend it’s because their wives are too frigid or boring. Even these fancy Instagram wives, including the ones from super rich families, it’s happening to them too so it’s not your fault. Maybe pray he changes, but don’t beat yourself up too much. Also PLEASE tell your family everything. You don’t know if he’s planning to leave you and may cook up alarming stories or even try to harm or kill you.

    Thank God the women he’s sleeping with aren’t Nigerians or bvs would have said it’s jazz or blamed the side chicks

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No man can change abeg unless he wants to...who don be don be

      Delete
    2. Why won't she leave the marriage? In as much as I hate divorce, if I were the one, I will leave. First of all, a man who will raise up his hands to beat me, will not see me in the marriage again not to talk of the other things this man has done to you. My dear all you need is to get up and get a job. If you need to go abroad, someday you can. Do not allow any husband to treat you like crap. You are worth more than gold. You should be the one doing shakara for him not the other way round. Aim high in life and never stoop low for a man who disrespects you. Get out of the marriage immediately. Report to your parents and let his parents know you are out. Even if they beg, don't go back. If you have a good job, you too can go on vacations abroad.

      Delete
    3. He’s not cultured. No refined, polished man with good taste will beat up a woman

      Delete
  34. Women love thyself. It is a dangerous thing for one not to love oneself, you will be freely abused and you will even encourage it

    ReplyDelete
  35. .... within a year???
    THERE WAS A MARRIAGE!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There was a marriage o!

      Delete
    2. There was a wedding o. Because there was no marriage in the first place

      Delete
    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£ @YLE!! I almost pee'd in my pants at your last sentence

      Delete
    4. Na really there was a marriage, mtchew

      Delete
  36. Don't you people ever learn from this blog? !!!!!!!!! Yes I'm screaming 😱 😱 😱 😱!!
    Most of you come here to read, giggle and go away!! Haba nah!! This story has been over analysed and treated on here several times!
    Let's start using our heads especially the ladies, shall we?

    It's exasperating to say the least. Ahh!

    #Smurfy#

    ReplyDelete
  37. I might be wrong but I feel you should leave the marriage

    ReplyDelete
  38. Even with your BSc!
    You met someone and they told you from the go that they want to marry you and it was not a red flag.
    British citizen asking you for money, that wasn’t a red flag.
    The beating wasn’t a red flag
    The standoffish attitude wasn’t a red flag
    Now the beatings and the cheating?
    With all these doubt you still dated him for 5 years?
    Do you want me to tell you that your actions seem quite silly? Or maybe it’s the passport?
    I will assume you have above average intelligence, and if so better get out and start all over.

    ReplyDelete
  39. No matter how sweet a guy can be never ever leave your job because he ask you to....5 years distance relationship what were you thinking, do you think you know him enough for you to get married to him,some man sha you have a wife and you are passwording your phone,no kuku marry if you never ready now...I know there is a reason you choose to marry him cos if not you would have see the signs in your 5 wasteful distance relationship and yet you still decide to marry him.

    If I were you I will pick my two shoes and run as fast as I can....cos you cant tame this kind of man.

    ReplyDelete
  40. The only support you need now is that which ONLY your family can give and you are doing yourself a great disservice by not telling them.Do your want to kill yourself? Please, Love yourself enough and share your problems so you can find peace because that man doesn't care about you.So sorry about the loss of your pregnancy, God knows best.Please hold off on getting pregnant and sit down and evaluate this marriage of yours.He is never going to change,so be very strategic in your decision making. I wish you the best!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Okay, once again ladies PLEASE listen up.

    - Work hard on loving yourself as a person and developing a personal relationship with God. Loving yourself includes having hobbies, taking time for yourself outside of your marriage and developing yourself. I know fake friendships are deadly so just be careful but have friends, some are good.
    - Read up or learn about domestic violence, narcissism, coercive control etc
    - Marriage is very tough and some difficulties are not abuse. You must try to work these out with communication but even those have expiry dates. Hopefully, you will have more ups than downs.
    - Be aware that when your husband is wicked to you, he is very aware of his actions and doesn’t care. Crying, posting subliminal messages on social media or stalking him will only make you feel and appear worse. Stop making excuses, he already showed you how wicked he is, believe it.
    - Always have your own income.ALWAYS! This gives you mega options.
    - When your husband beats you, just know that you must start to plan your exit with or without children. It can NEVER end well so just shorten your headache.
    - Don’t hide any abuse - tell someone. Ignore shame! Those who will laugh at you have worse secrets. If you pretend he can later deny abusing you even after you die from the abuse.
    - Accept that relationships end and that it’ll be extremely painful but you are worse off staying in a situation where you will be killed or will die of depression.

    Okay, back to work. Stella, you rock.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better advice..O girl this is good advice oh!!

      Delete
    2. They will not hear. Don’t you read all the chronicles everyday. Nigerian women equate suffering with marriage.

      Delete
    3. πŸ€—πŸ˜˜πŸ€—πŸ˜˜
      Nothing else to add.

      Delete
    4. Abeg leave that thing. Do they ever take good advice? That's how I used to waste my energy writing epistle here and adding experiences I have seen and heard of for them. In the end, we keep reading the same thing. I kuku no type again. Some of us women dont just have wisdom to take decisions. Period

      Delete
  42. Please my dear move on with ur life and stop hoping for a dead marriage. A useless and wayward man can never be changed... forget about the years u have wasted and look else where my dear... lots of men living abroad are not to be trusted cause most of them are cursed by women

    ReplyDelete
  43. Hahahahh stellStella,your last line tho!

    ReplyDelete
  44. This might sound harsh. You having a miscarriage is a sign that you are not meant to be with this narcissistic horseband. Please run before you develop high blood pressure. Nobody is worth this stress. If it is going abroad that is your problem, work hard and send yourself abroad. This your marriage is a scam. My two cents.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Yes, I saw this post earlier but I wasn't too eager to comment; it is still the old news about "abroad". Whatever I say there must be πŸΉπŸΉπŸΉπŸ”«πŸ”«πŸ”«
    I read Stella's comments about "no proper dating" and she couldn't have put it more succinctly.
    If you have been/lived "abroad" like some of us and interacted with Nigerians there, you will understand
    their mindset. These men regard any lady in Nigeria as "bush meat" and like these poster wrote "to whom they are doing a favor by marrying her".
    Reading this post made me sad 😒😒😒
    There was a wedding but there was not marriage.
    But will my Naija girls hear?
    Abroad is the puppet string for a lot of them.
    To this lady; get back to how this "marriage" was contracted and tell all that were involved what's happening. Above all God first!
    I would have asked if you sought him before going into this? But it is obvious 🀐🀐🀐🀐there was nothing as such?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The stereotype about Naija men abroad is not true. Some bring women here and treat them very well. You just have to be careful with choosing.

      Delete
    2. @17:36
      This your "stereotype thinking" is the reason we will still read a lot of these
      chronicles in the days and weeks to come.😯😯😯😯😯😯😯😯🐍😊

      Delete
    3. 18:15 lol my dear I’m abroad and I know what I’m saying
      A guy comes to you. Ask well about him
      Come and visit if you can afford it
      When he comes to Nigeria, spend some time together. It can be life changing if you get a good one. Ask well and listen carefully to what people say. Also if you can try to follow one with a decent job. Not so bad a job that no one cares

      Delete
    4. @16:23 well not all. My uncle and his wife have been going in 17 years and are very happy. She personally told me she doesn't spend a dime on upkeep, if doesn't want to cos he doesn't bother. I also know a few ppl who got it right in that regard. Let's not discourage some who want to marry abroad spouses.

      My own is as a young babe make sure you travel and see the world. Dont let any man come and use abroad to do you anyhow. Cos as I dey so, if you talk one country me go talk five. If you have low self esteem, you wont even survive the conversation. Also visit him once or twice and see him in his element before you take that decision. The issue is when one doesn't have resources to do all these and has to marry with the mind of 50/50. So when you reach, whatever you see you take it like that.

      Delete
    5. @Chikito

      So what makes your uncle's wife's experience "good" is because your uncle's wife "does not bother
      about upkeep?"
      That is the problem! You Naija girls reduce everything about being "good" to money. That is far
      from it.
      Now, if this poster's "horseband" beings to give her all his income, does it solve her
      problems?
      Okwa ajuju o

      Delete
  46. Madam! See British Passport staring right at your face and you are here moaning about your husband's sexapades!!! WAKE THE FUCK UP WOMAN! The next time you see him, find a way to get a copy of his passport and file for residency permit behind him. After two years you file for your own British passport! You can file right there in naija...you just need a copy of his passport babe! Stop moaning and feeling depressed....TAKE ACTION!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fantastic!!! Please Take action

      Delete
    2. See this one.. Na so e easy?
      Yeye talk.. Mtchew.

      Delete
    3. Wow is it actually as easy as you put it? Won't she need the man's signature or anything else at a point?

      Poster if I were you, I'd look into this and take actions accordingly.

      Delete
    4. Hahahahahaha make a copy and file for residency? Lmao. You think this is how it works? The man has to send the original passport to home office in Liverpool UK, with other documents. He must be earning a certain amount of money too and must prove this by sending his pay slips or tax statement. You see, she can't do it without his approval, sorry.

      Delete
    5. Lol is it that simple? Or you dont know the husband will have to provide supporting documents eg his payslips and that before she can even apply for spousal visa. Which British passport are you applying for after 2 years?? Its 5 years ! in which you will need to reapply every 2.5 years. Please try not to give advice or be boastful in ignorance. Its not a good trait to possess

      Delete
    6. Wrong advice! The British person has to file for you and identify you as who you say you are to him/her.

      Delete
    7. Very ignorant somebody. You need supporting documents, he needs to be earning a certain amount of money, you need his NI, signature, pay slips so no you cannot file even if you have a copy of his passport. Ignoramus I greet you once again.

      Delete
  47. This thing can happen to anybody sha no matter how prepared or unprepared you are for marriage. But get a job first then focus on self development. When he sees you are empowered. He will be Chasing you but by that time. You are on a different level. Or Fuck him up !! Im sure you know where its hurts him. Goodluck

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It can happen to who chooses it to happen...Abeg it does not happen to anybody biko.

      Delete
  48. Wow wow wow... Please, I won't mince words.. LEAVE THAT THING YOU CALL A MARRIAGE. He is stingy, not romantic, hits you, cheats like there is no tomorrow. Biko, what are you still waiting for. I'd say losing your pregnancy was God's way of helping you. A child with that kind of man is the last thing you need. What does he expect you to do with 20k?Even my hubby that's a man is angry with this poster. Asking me if the man didn't jazz her. You are a babe! Your parents are not dead, move out of his house. You are a graduate thankfully. You will be fine.My sister, no be marriage you dey o. My advice to single ladies, please shine your eyes and pray well before you marry any man. The magic isn't in getting married o, but being happy in it.

    ReplyDelete
  49. MADAM YOU NEED TO SAVE UP AND LEAVE NOW! DO NOT ATTEMPT TO GET PREGNANT FOR YOUR HORSEBAND. HE HATES YOU AND HATES HIMSLEF. YOU NEED TO GO!

    ReplyDelete
  50. If they call women with husbands (I dont wana say married women) you'll also come out?

    ReplyDelete
  51. OMG! all these chronicles will just be making me get scared the more. How do one end up with husband like this? how do you even know the right person before saying I DO! Its crazy, ain't there happy marriages any more? those in happy marriages how do they do it ? those who have good spouses how did they earn good spouses! i am freaking scared of the word MARRIAGE! God help me please, i must get it right. Poster i am so sorry for all you are going through, your chronicle sends shiver down my spine. OMG! Fear is catching me. God please help me too, i have been praying, i sincerely want to get it right. Aunty stella please create a post for those who are doing great in marriage let them share tips to getting it right, that works for them. High fever just hold me ontop this marriage matter and chronicle. How can one husband be so mean?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The grace is on you now...No do Oju kokoro or long throat..Enter with a clean mind...Think with your brain not your toto interface domain...you go know fuck boys wella

      Delete
    2. Dear Grace, there are still good marriages out there. Though I am just 3 years in marriage but my husband is the best and I know a lot of ladies also married right. All you need to do is to seek the face of God before going into marriage and it’s important that your husband knows God and have the fear of God. Of course, every marriage has its ups and downs, if my husband is angry, I keep quiet and allow him to vent but once he’s calm I sit him down and tell him my mind. We will both apologize and move on.
      The nutshell of all I’m saying is marriage needs a lot of work, you both must work together to achieve a blissful marriage by understanding and listening to each other and above all let God be the center of your marriage. And make sure you marry your friend and not your master

      Delete
  52. Sorry about your miscarriage BUT every disappointment is a blessing. That miscarriage might be a huge sign for you to move on with your life. Babe, you are JUST 27 yrs, very YOUNG. You can either make your life now or mar it forever. Speak to your family members about it, pls move on with your life. Don't let any amount of pleading from him to soften your heart.

    He lives in the UK right? he doesn't want you to visit or live with him. I do not want to believe he has some mental issues becos if he did, he would not be flirting and sleeping with other women. Long story short, he has kids from other white women and married you only to live and have kids for him in nigeria probably from the pressure his parents mounted on him. My dear forget british passport ooo, all that glitters is not gold. When you eventually come to UK that is if he would ever let it happen, you will see the main sufferhead before you even get your stay there. Be wise and leave the marriage now that you are alive, focus on your career now that you are young and every other thing will fall in place. Matha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If he has mental issues he wont be flirting with women.... says who???!

      Delete
  53. Poster, kindly watch "AGBOKOLORI", its a yoruba movie

    ReplyDelete
  54. Hiya,
    Sorry for all you been through. I live in Reading, a health care and social worker if that rings a bell.

    You are married to a NARCISSISTIST. Now, this is going to come across as harsh. This is NEVER going to END!

    Get out now while you can and practice the 'NO CONTACT' forever.

    Thank me later!
    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  55. Dear poster,you are married to a narcissist and I know this cuz I’m married to one as well,going through the same things you just mentioned if not more....leave that marriage now that you have no kids for him cuz it would only get worse...read up about narcissism it would help you at least mentally and emotionally until you decide on what to do which is for you to run!!!! No contact!!

    ReplyDelete
  56. poster you alone can set yourself free, you dated a man for five good years and finally said yes to him. You didn't date anybody, you dated yourself in thar relationship alone.
    I will advise you rethink, think deep if you are ok with his attitude. That man has no feelings for you, you either accept him or walk away.Th choice is yours cos from your write up you are still into him, i pity women. Just to be called married, my husband, you take shit, smile and say you want to forgive him and continue. I am too weak to even say anything, just do what makes you happy.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Same thing I went through in my marriage.later the spirit of lost took over me and I cheated on him and that's was how the marriage ended even though he's still begging me I wouldn't want to go back the worst will happen.i just want to take care of my kids and live for God.pls poster seek the face of God and be prayerful stay strong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dont take that Bingo back...Shameless man...

      Delete
  58. Run my dear,I was in your shoes for 8 years. Then I ran, God blessed me with a good man and 2 lovely boys.

    ReplyDelete
  59. The guy has Narcissistic Personality Disorder!!! How do I know, my father was one and I stupidly married one. The best thing I ever did was cut off one and divorce the other. Poster you have no marriage and therefore nothing to salvage. Go and get a job and pack out of that house now!!!

    ReplyDelete
  60. I've had first hand experience so I know what you're talking about, poster.

    Stella is right. My dear, what do you do when you enter a once chance bus and the bus slows down with the door open?

    A word is enough for the wise.

    If you don't do the right thing at the right time, he will infect you (with both his madness and STIs) and turn it on you that you brought it home. Na then you go know what's up coz his crazy family too will support him against you. You'll be shook. Forget all that the mum likes you bla bla bla, the mum herself is the real mental case. The son merely inherited a portion of the madness. The way she will turn against you when her son accuses you of infidelity 'will do you like you're watching film'. Do you really think she likes you? All she wants is a full blooded African grandchild (ren). Once you give her, shikena! The guy most likely has an abroad wife sef.

    Reading this felt as if you're talking about my ex-husband! Just that this your own story oversweet with citizenship thing. I so doubt it. You better give us the true picture so we don't misadvise you. 'Dead body no dey shy for person wey go bath am'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster in case you want to divorce gather enough evidence of his adultery to be tended in court.

      Delete
  61. Sweetheart, you stated that he acts like he did you a favour by marrying you. Why wouldn't he, when you gave him the impression that you will do anything to be his wife? How can you go on a few dates with a man and then agree to meet his parents when you know little or nothing about him? You were just 22 years old, for crying out loud! Where was the opportunity for him to chase and impress you? You were busy playing the role of a dutiful girlfriend, instead of the other way around. A man tells you to quit a good job and you do so with little or no resistance, yet you wonder why he treats you the way he does?

    Even in the movie industry which is all about art and make-believe, actors audition for a particular role and the best actor gets the role. Yet you allow a man ask for your hand in marriage without first auditioning for the most important role in your life? No jumping through hoops, no chance to prove to you that he is worthy to be your King? A long distance relationship of 5 years means nothing because you really don't get to know the man you're dating.

    A guy once tried to sell me the "I want to marry you, I'm not interested in the boyfriend/girlfriend stuff" corny line. I laughed in his face and asked him what gave him the impression that I wanted him in the first place, let alone want to spend the rest of my life with him? I told him point blank that he ought to convince me first of all, that he is worthy of my time, then by his actions, I will decide if he is suitable for the "boyfriend/girlfriend stuff" he so eagerly wants to avoid. My conditions when I was single, were quite arduous, yet I never lacked male attention. It's the value you place on yourself that people will assess you by.

    Darling, how can you pray the marital joy comes back, was it ever there in the first place? About 10 months in marriage with a man who lives overseas and he has beaten you three times, including when you were pregnant? As if once is not one time too many. You claim you love him, while he likes you? "Like" is a tad generous, it's more like he resents you but tries to tolerate you. How can your husband come to Nigeria after months of being away and instead of ripping off your clothes and devouring you, he abstains like he is celibate! Wow! I'm sorry, sweetheart, but this arrangement isn't marriage. Best put and end to it before it puts an end to you. The most heartbreaking thing is, there are ladies who will read this and still marry men they have no business marrying. I wish you the courage to do what you have to do while you are still alive to do so.
    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The marital joy she’s referring to is the dancing she did on her wedding day lol. To pepper the ‘sad sorry singles’. A wedding does not make a marriage

      Delete
    2. Ronalda I love you jare...Smart Girl

      Delete
  62. I dated one based in Uk, a controlling freak, manipulator, narcissist. I did all to please him infact I lived my life for him, once I try to fight for what I want I get called out as rude, arrogant non submissive etc, he told me M scared of filling for you to join me cos you will call the cops for me, you must do everything I tell you to do!!!. Family and friends interference was a daily activity in the relationship, he will boast to others and maltreat me outside but comes inside to beg me. I lost myself, he would hit me and say I caused it, his jealousy is second to none as no male colleague is ever expected to have my phone no, am out now tho and glad I did, he lacks empathy towards me and never understands my pains no matter how hard I try
    Poster pls come out he WILL never change and happiness will be far from you!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's why any typical nigerian woman is a very dangerous thing to go near to or hang around with, share their thoughts because her life is full of misery, overwhelming desperation, pretentious, cover ups & often greed that is very infectious too.
      Like this one here who is totally clueless that she has married herself, not knowing what marriage or having intimate partner, spouse or a husband means!!!
      How can ur husband not share his money with u? How can u be suffering economically??? Living such a miserable life there?

      I guess she married "abroad based husband" and for that reason she is going to endure all sorts of hell on earth till she get visa, become sponsored to travel out of Nigeria.

      Whenever I see such girls & women in Canada, or in Europe eating sh1t just for marrying abroad husband, I run far away from them.πŸƒ
      Because their miserable is polluted & contagious if u near bodi with them. As they r clueless & very pathetic.

      Ndi ara!!!

      Delete
    2. Stop thinking like the husband. The poster needs advice and not insults. My dear poster, run for dear life. Once a pervert, always a pervert.
      He never respected you before and will not now. This has not ended, it will continue.
      Please tell Madam Stella what you finally concluded.

      Delete
  63. Dont be afraid, you are 27 years old for goodness sake, not like your life has ended. please dear poster leave him and use this as a stepping to showing your son or daughter what to expect from their spouses. again DO NOT BE AFRAID.

    you will be okay in the end.

    ReplyDelete
  64. My dear, no need for long story divorce that man. There is no love in the marriage and it wouldn’t last. Truly there is nothing new under the sun, u just described my ex husband. U better πŸƒ‍♀️ for your life

    ReplyDelete
  65. DONT GET PREGNANT FOR HIM AGAIN....I REPEAT...DON'T GET PREGNANT FOR HIM AGAIN..Secretly get birth control pills...or whatever suits you.

    Firts get a job as soon as possible,Then find a way to get ur passport through him,empower yourself... then dump him..!

    ReplyDelete
  66. You better leave now so you can get your life back on track on time.My friend waited for 10yrs before she left and regrets till today that she waited that long.Anybody that tells you to stay isn't telling you the truth or rather doesn't want it to feel like they encouraged you to leave your marriage.Pick up the pieces of your life and move on Asap.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Babe, you're married on paper but you're nobody's wife. Extricate yourself from this situation and go and get a man of your own. Apply for jobs and start working again, tell your family about the abuse and lack of care, ask them to return the bride price. You don't want to live abroad with that kind of man believe me. Free yourself and move on

    ReplyDelete
  68. Poster, at 27, you need to know exactly what you want from a man and marriage. This is no marriage at all. I live in Milton Keynes, send Stella his details and I will help you dig him out. So you can know the type of man you married. As someone who has been married for over fourteen years, if you were my sister, I would tell you to walk out of this situationship.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Poster, get him to file for you. Once you get into the UK, wait for him to hit you, them call the police. Make a big fuss about it. You will get your visa independent of him then you can start you life over.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Abeg is his name Bright. Seems like someone I know..
    Anyway, I would say the signs were all there before u got married, but its never too late to start over. Its time to bag your bags and go put your life together. Abroad is a great place to succeed. Its an opportunity use it wisely. Leave that man, get a job, go to school and face your life. Thats not marriage, its slavery. God does not want that for you. Above all, ask God for help. Remember God is above all.

    ReplyDelete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141