Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative


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Thursday, September 19, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative



Stella thanks for this wonderful platform where 1 can pour out ones mind anonymously and receive sense and insult all na love.

 I am in a relationship with a 1 of a kind type of man,i met him after I broke up with my previous relationship because of genotype palava. 

My problem is making a decision. He wants us to get married. Now I am a 24 years old that works with a private company (that pays well but makes ur life useless to u, leave in d morning and get home late in d night some weekends are not excluded) I really don't wish to get married with that type of life style, he is suggesting I resign get married and keep searching for better opportunities.

 I am against that idea I am not resigning I want to hold on to this till I get a better offer then I swap(this is Nigeria I don't know when that will happen all na hope)

. My brother in Canada is suggesting I come pursue a nursing career and start another different journey entirely. this guy I am in a relationship with is a rare gem he doesn't give me any problem sometimes I feel he is too gentle. I have been thinking should I just get married to him and start a family maybe later we apply for a Canadian PR as a family of which( he is not a travelling out person because he is comfortable here and see no reason to except for vacations but I believe one tends to have more opportunity there than here) 

Or I should just accept my brother's proposal to start a different kind of nursing journey? Yes I want to become a great woman and also have a happy family. I am so scared and trying to be careful I don't want to miss my steps, I don't want to look back and regret my actions, I also don't want to regret how I loose d opportunity of marrying a good man. I am very confuse .

*You need to choose one my know cannot eat your cake and have it.....Choose the one that gives you the most peace when you think about it....


  1. You can actually pursue your nursing career and marry, if your man is a rare gem as u say, he would have no qualms with you relocating before or after marriage... Its a huge sacrifice/compromise, but he can do it for love..abi? both, nursing n marriage...better future for your kids.

    1. Poster, if I were you, I'll go to Canada without second thoughts. If your man happens to be the one with this type of opportunity, would he think twice before leaving to pursue hos career which guarantees a better condition of living?
      Well, I'll put myself first & be selfish about it. Because at the end of the day, you've got just you!

    2. So the man should do it for love??

      Why can she resign from her job for love??
      There are no two ways about this.You just have to pick one as Stella stated.
      You can hold on to your present job until you get a better one that's more flexible.
      Never you!! I repeat NEVER you quit your current job hoping to get a better one.If you must quit make sure you already have another job.

    3. Exactly what I wanted to type.

    4. Poster, I kneel down beg you, please don't resign your job. A bird in hand they say is better than thousands in the bush. While you are still working, get married to your guy. Start processing your Canada paper, while you are at it, get pregnant, travel to Canada and birth your baby there and continue with your Nursing career. This way you are winning on both sides. It will surely end in praise. Good luck

    5. Poster I put it to you that all ull achieve at d end of the day from this post is more confusion��. I don dey even help u confuse self.

      Search ur heart my dear. There must b one of both options that u deeply desire most. Use ur “internal scale” ull get d answers u seek. Goodluck.

      But if I sha b u, ill go with my bro. Personally Im not a fan of setting abroad but with d rate people are climaxing on it, I’ll advice u dont let d opportunity slip hence uve it.

    6. Lemme tell u a story once upon a time I had a good job in Lagos with opportunities for even better paying ones.....then my rich and perfect fiancee insisted we get married and relocate to his base state with promise of a sure
      So I did after all this man was too good to lose.
      Got married at 24 and we got to d state ND d job was still being "processed". I took in along d line and now after two years I just got a 25k job at a primary school last week. I've just been laughing at myself and my gullibility.
      O was I so stupid!!!
      Oh did I mention Uncu became highly irresponsible and a serial cheater?

      Please don't resign for anything In d world. I'll advise u go to Canada and pursue d best life for u and even ur generations unborn. Don't sacrifice ur future on d altar of a man o.

  2. Poster you are 24, so you are no longer a baby..Please dont leave that job for now..Dont resign you will regret it..Sit down and think with your brain not your heart..Your brother means well for you but the ball is still in your court to decide how to play..What are your dreams and aspirations as a person?? Forget man for now..I have an uncle who said to me ''Build your career first before you think of marriage'' it is in the book of proverbs..You have a whole life ahead of you to achieve..How can a man tell you to resign and get married?..Ask him what are your plans for you..His answer will tell you the kind of man he is..Be very careful marriage is not a bouncy castle..There are more better men out there..Be careful and pray to God for wisdom...

    1. But that your last sentence is somehow oh! There may not be better men out there.
      @poster tell your man about your plans to pursue a nursing career abroad. It's for the benefit of you and YOUR CHILDREN!!

      Nne, any decision I am taking now I take it for my future children. My goal is to ensure that they must have better than I did. So think for the ones coming after you. A wise man will look at everything from the future's stance.

  3. My dear, follow your brother advice and go Canada.

    If you marry that man, you won't travel on time, and next he will give you Belle.

    Just look well and weigh the advantages and disadvantages

    1. You better carry your bag and go to Canada. If he loves you that much, Yiu can come to compromise.
      No let devil use that guy o. That was how i had a fantastic job offer and turned it down because of man. In Dubai. I loved hjm more than life itself and he was the best thing in the world to me.
      Long story short, oga man is in Abu Dhabi working for an international oil company and earning big and living his best life and I’m here roasting and waiting for Canada to click.
      Oh! He blocked me.

    2. 15:58 Iam not the poster. But thank you for this. Thank you. I learn so much from this blog. So much.

    3. @15:58 🤣🤣🤣 when you would have gone and love in UAE would have sharked you two by now. Pele my dear. God go do am for you

  4. Poster, think carefully before you make a decision.
    Your brother wants the best for you, I am sure you do too. What does your boyfriend do? Does he have enough to shoulder both your responsibilities if you resign?
    If your boyfriend got same offer from his sibling to travel abroad for a course or better life, would he sacrifice that to be with you?
    Always put yourself first in everything before you think of another.
    Please go further your education and be a better person, with great achievements.

  5. Keep talking to him
    There’s a good chance you’re both not financially compatible
    It seems you want more more and you crave financial stability while he can do with just enough. Relationship or marriage like that can be a bit frustrating as you keep banging against roadblocks when you see opportunities for growth
    Talk to him. Ask hood questions
    How much is he making. If he’s going very well and has good very good opportunities in Nigeria, it could make sense to stay
    If not, then ask why he’s worried about relocating. Does he think he’ll be at your brothers mercy. Is he worried he’ll lose you
    It’s s great opportunity so don’t turn it down unless you’re very sure. Maybe go for a couple years and return after s good degree or after establishing residency

  6. You think that's your last chance of getting a man. The man in question has not proposed to you. Go and develop yourself. You have a great opportunity don't waste it.

  7. you love this man? Cos you do not sound like someone who is in love to me,talking about going to Canada and leaving your man behind. If you really love this man you will be very eager to marry him and start a life with him. So pls ask yourself that question again and be very honest to yourself with your answer.

    If you are sure you love him enough,then marry him but don't quit your job just yet. Keep it and be looking for other opprtunitiez. opportunities if you are married and pregnant,I m sure they will make some allowances for you in your work place.

    But if you don't think you really love that man,then by all means go to canada ( have you even thought about what being a nurse is like? Its not easy oh) andstart a new life. Hopefully you will meet somebody there you can marry and live happily ever after with.

    1. No mind this person o. They won’t be there to console you if yawa gas
      Put yourself first my sister. Don’t add to statistics o.
      Love with your head. Yiu are just 24, this is the time to hustle and build yourself and career.
      I don talk too much already.

    2. Which kind yawa wan gas. Its a win-win for her. She married the man she loves,builds a family,build her career here in Nigeria and they can later relocate to Canada as a family. Or she leaves now (and loses him), becomes a nurse in Canada( and I reiterate that not everybody is called to be a nurse.) And hopefully she can meet an equally good or even better man there. The problem with people like you is that you think living in Canada or u.s is the best thing that can ever happen to you. There are miserable,broke people in Canada and u.s,come on! In the end,you have to do what will give you the greater happiness in life. A good man,a loving family,a good career/financial status suffices for most people. Choose wisely @poster.

    3. What are you saying @15:16 and 16:27?
      Poster, please ignore this particular BV's advice.

      Equip yourself first.

      You cannot go wrong with additional educational qualification especially in Canada, US and some countries in Europe.

      Go for that nursing course in Canada. Marriage is not a guarantee of a good life besides, you cannot build your life around a human being. I did not say marriage is not good but always strive to be financially independent and improve yourself.

      This anonymous BV that said nursing is difficult should tell us if there is any work or profession that is easy.

      Don't quit your present job to get married. Go to Canada as your brother advised.

      This guy that wants you to quit your job for marriage will not allow you get another job once you get married to him.

    4. And some of you think the brother made the offer for her to bring baggages? Offers like that work so well when you accept them as a single person. Once you get married, you are another man's responsibility and your brother would have no right or even motivation to direct you.
      Poster, better follow your brother's suggestion now before he changes his mind or else in a few years time you would be begging him to offer it again, and it might be too late.
      If your boo is your missing rib, he will wait for you to get your Canada papers arranged, marry you and settle with you there. Shine eyes oo.

  8. Hey
    24 is still relatively young . You have your whole life ahead of you. Not saying marriage is bad but it slows you down a lot. Pursue your goals so that when you look back you don't resent yourself or have too much regrets . Im not married yet (i'm 28 and live abroad) , but i dont regret waiting to get married to pursue my goals. It really depends on the type of person you are. Now im kinda okay with settling down cus i have ticked most of my boxes. But then again i didn't have a near perfect guy @ 24.

    1. You forgot to add that you may not find the right man now too especially in the abroad.

    2. @19:19 who lied to you? 🤣😂 come and see them here scrambling for decent girls to wife. That's how you people sir down in Nigeria and draw naive conclusions. Abeg shift.

  9. If roles where reversed, what decision do you think he would make?

  10. Nursing in Canada would not make you great if that's your aim. There's nothing in nursing. No full time jobs, mostly part time, you have to get more and more degrees these days to maintain a certain level in the profession. Canada is not the end all be all. I was there till I left for the States. Canada is not where you can become a "great woman". And what's with this idea of Nigerian males telling their relatives to come over and be nurses when they themselves would never be? It is so rampant even in the States here. If you want to come over, continue in your line of work and apply for PR later. As for your relationship, DO NOT EVER QUIT YOUR JOB. If you feel you are ready for marriage go ahead but still be on the lookout for opportunities that present a better work life balance.

    1. It’s not everywhere that people get part time job.
      Poster, go and see for yourself. What’s the worst that could happen in Canada?
      Carry your bag and all else will follow

    2. Exactly nursing is just there. Pay is also average except you work extra. I am a nirse, dont see any big deal, you cannot be great as a nurse except you specialise and all, which most of us dont follow through. I will say go to canada using your present lone of experience to apply for a PR, when you get there, you will also compete with the locals getting a job. Hmmm maybe you dont mind nursing, but dont expect any high class level job or profession. Its just a normal profession in uniform, atleast you wont look for job. Finish by the time you 28, get your residence and ask your bobo to relocate to yours, thats if he waits for you. Second option, get married, continue your job and never resign, but you may not have a social life until you chamge jobs and hubby will keep pressuring you to resign. Your case hard

    3. This the best response so far.

    4. Pls what is the average pay for nurses in Canada if working per hour or for salary

    5. Anon 16:29 Depends on the province. You can start as low as $25 per hour in Ontario and as high as $31 in Alberta and the Northwest territories as a bedside nurse. Nursing is a unionized profession so the more your experience, the more your pay. At the end of the day after your Masters and maybe 15 to 20 years you end at $45 in Ontario and maybe about $52 to 53 in Alberta and Northwest territories. If you become a Nurse Practitioner you may earn about $56 to $57 after SO MANY YEARS and hours. I know this first hand because I'm a Nurse and I have worked in four provinces as a Nurse Practitioner. I'm leaving the profession soon to start a business. I want to open a food chain. Nursing was good then but now not so much. As the anon said mostly part time jobs now and stress and union and all. I'm done jare! I'm fortunate I entered when the going was good. It's a VERY FULFILLING profession if you have the passion for it but all the bureaucracy and politics would wear you out.

  11. Replies
    1. Yes, jus read comments jejely. Ur mouth no good

  12. Pls I am begging u with my knees to the ground go and pursue ur nursing career, give your unborn kids a better life from Nigeria.
    U will see another better man.above all,pray!pray!
    His word surpasses any body's advice here

    1. Gbam!!!
      Her question is vexing me gaan walahi

  13. In the marriage vs career thing, no one loses and no one gains at the end of the day. Those of my older relatives that married early are becoming grandmothers early and just relaxing reaping their fruits small small. Those who delayed marriage still got married but are financially well off and their children are in better places.
    There's research that says putting off motherhood till late will increase your risks of pregnancy complications, chromosomal defects, etc. But there's also research that shows that women who give birth much later, live longer than women who start giving birth earlier. I am not putting this here to put down any group of women. These are facts and not up for debate.
    Again, you may be a better mother than a better career woman. Trevor Noah's mother was a better mother. Or the opposite: Oprah Winfrey is better as a career woman. Think of the path that will give you a better chance of making your contribution and mark in this world. Look at the bigger picture.
    One thing you can do is save for birthright citizenship. Then quit your job and quietly start a nursing program here in naija. Have your children (or child) in the country you want to go to, now. At the end of 4 years or so, you will have at least 1 child, a nursing degree and your caring husband. Then, you can observe the situation of things inside and outside the country and consider if you still want to japa or not. Believe me, if things become very terrible, your husband will not need much convincing before he agrees.

    1. You get brain. Well analyzed.

    2. You analysed so so well!! No one actually wins or loses with marrying earlier or later. You only lose if you're sitting idly and waiting for marriage. Cos if you marry later without money, you will have wasted your waiting years complaining

  14. since u both have good jobs, u can settle here for a while then later travel. Nursing oversees would take 3 - 4 years.. why dont u just improve on your career path u hv created for yourself..

  15. I hate that so many people use nursing as a means of getting legal stay in Western countries, when it's clearly not their passion! Healthcare professionals should be selfless, and ever willing and ready to provide the best care to their patients. The reason we hear so many horror stories, is because most go into that field as a means to an end.

    From the write-up, it doesn't seem as though you would have pursued nursing otherwise. It's clearly just to get PR - so I would say don't do it. Only go to Canada doing what you love and enjoy, or you'll detest your time there.

    1. why should healthcare professionals be selfless? nobody should be more important than ones own family and wellbeing.

  16. Poster, you have a rare gem 💎 at 24... You may or may never meet a man like this man again in your life if you decide to either marry him now and pursue your career later, or dump him and move to Canada to pursue a nursing career.
    There are not many rare gems men/women out there.

    You can have it all if you really want to. Marry this man, build a family and a career with him.
    I am not telling you to quit your job for now, you can still continue with your job while you keep on looking for something better.

    Just so you know, there are many successful career men and women with no rare gem spouse by them.

    In whatever you do, seek the face of God and also consider your peace and happiness.

    1. I’m sorry but a rare gem will want the best for his wife. Period.

    2. Anon 16:24 and who says the best is always found abroad. Poster please pray and let the Lord direct you to fulfil your destiny. Your destiny may not be fulfilled in Canada. Ask the Lord.

  17. My dear poster, whatever decision you decide to take, you see that travelling to Canada, biko and biko grab it with both hands and legs. Leave man for now and arrange your life first.

    Thank you.

    Besides, any man who tells you to resign and get married does not mean well for you except he is a very rich man that will set you up immediately.

  18. @Poster, don't quit your job. If you really love this man,give him sometime a(maybe 2 yrs)go ahead and marry him. Save enough money and ensure you birth your kids in Canada. Thank God your siblings are over there so birthing their won't be an issue.
    Canada is not all or nothing; you can still make it here in Nigeria.
    All the best.

  19. Go and pray for divine direction. Cos I don't understand how the men in your life are making decisions for you and dragging you in different directions.

    You didn't say what you do but your current work situation is not healthy, so isn't sustainable for a long time. Your brother says you should start a nursing career in Canada, I've not read you say you have the aptitude or the passion for nursing. Before you fail out of nursing school (it happens more than people say), or turn into a nurse that every patient hates (that's just a waste of time, energy and money). As for the man you're dating, go and pray before you settle for Saul or before you throw away David because he still looks like a shepherd boy from the wilderness.

    We can give you all kinds of suggestions but none of us see the heart or the future. Anything can happen to change Canada within the next 3-6months; I didn't hear anything oh. But Trump became president in 2016 (something that many people swore could not happen) and a lot changed in the US. Boris Johnson is the PM of the UK; this is a man who was so ridiculed in London when he was trying out for Mayor in 2007/2008. He's about to do what Theresa May couldn't do. Mr Trudeau is up for re-election and racist videos & pics of him have started falling out. I say all this to say there are a lot of things that go on behind the scenes, so don't be deceived by the appearance of "stability". You cannot be making permanent decisions like marriage or relocation, based on an assurance you don't even have. Go to the ONLY One that can give you direction and assurance.


  20. Ahaaa, abia ha ozo with abroad yarns?
    Them don come again with abroad talks?
    You have what you described as a "gentle rare gem" of a man
    and you still dey tie abroad rope for ya neck?
    Nne, face it, the woman's productive years are numbered and you said
    that you want to have "a happy family -and the man doesn't want to move?"
    Close your eyes on abroad for now.
    You can always go abroad and come back like some of us do.
    But you cannot always find a good man to marry.
    However, tell your friend that he should help you pray for/find a
    better job in terms of time flexibility so that you will be able
    to concentrate and marry him.
    In the interval building up to that, study him. Ask all the questions that
    your intuition brings up and learn ...
    Close your legs so that you will not spite God and write chronicles 😜
    Prepare for marriage and not wedding inugo?
    HOpe my yarns have helped you to have peace of mind.

    1. God will continue to bless you ANG...

      Love you always 💖💖💖💖

    2. beautiful advice from ANG. God bless you.

  21. Dear poster whatever decision you wish to make.use your head oooo, don’t think with your heart but always consider the future.

  22. A rare gem shouldn't ask you to quit your job.

    But if you are sure, this is a rare gem, Please get married and convince him you want to retain your job then look out for better opportunities. If he cares about you, he shouldn't pressure you to quit.
    Also, if he is comfortable as you said, Please ensure you have your children in US or Canada where you get birthright citizenship thereby securing their future.

    This way, you have won all round. A good man is hard to find, a job (in Nigeria) is hard to find.

    1. No be only rare gem na rare kpako...

  23. Pursue your nursing career in Canada. If the tables were to be turned, your rare gem will not send a chronicle before making his "Nursing Canadian" decision. Good luck.

  24. My dear please think of the future. Pit your unborn kids into consideration. Think of the kind of life you desire for yourself and the kids. It's OK to be selfish too. Marriage na see you finish, rare gem today unbearable demon tomorrow (not that we pray for this). My advice for you is that if you really love this your bf then discuss with him (before the marriage) that you can quit your job and get married but you'll relocate to Canada to pursue a career in nursing (trust me,its beneficial for yourself and the kids on the long run.) You can also pray about it so you don't make a very regrettable decision in future.

  25. My dear please think of the future. Pit your unborn kids into consideration. Think of the kind of life you desire for yourself and the kids. It's OK to be selfish too. Marriage na see you finish, rare gem today unbearable demon tomorrow (not that we pray for this). My advice for you is that if you really love this your bf then discuss with him (before the marriage) that you can quit your job and get married but you'll relocate to Canada to pursue a career in nursing (trust me,its beneficial for yourself and the kids on the long run.) You can also pray about it so you don't make a very regrettable decision in future.

  26. poster your head is in marriage, let me ask you is the guy very comfortable that you will not lack anything f you marry him and resign from your work?
    poster marriage wthout money the love will die it will not last, you need money to make yourself and your man happy.
    Do not resign from your job except yu are ready to travel out to be with your brother and start the nursing school, if he will esterblish you and ask you to resign go ahead and start a good business first before you can leave your job.

  27. I wouldn't quit my job either, having your own income and making your own way in the world is very fulfilling. As for going to Canada, have you ever even visited to know if you like the place? Just because it is the abroad does not mean you will like it or be able to fit I to the culture, test it out and see if it is a place you would want to live. Nursing pays very well, but it can be a very demanding career. I cannot tell you what to choose. Keep praying for direction and wisdom at all times.

  28. Pray over it poster and go with the option that gives you peace like Stella said...this is how I make my own decision. I pray God directs you.

  29. drop the job for that man if u luv him.
    women nowadays too like career and money.#rubbish#

  30. Sweetheart, do you like nursing as a career or are you thinking of becoming a nurse just so you can have a better life in Canada? Please don't pursue a career you really don't like but see as a means to an end. Please be sure because people's lives may just depend on it. I'm sure you have a passion for a couple of things, it's wise to choose your career based on activities you're passionate about.

    I would never advise anyone to resign from a well paying job unless they have a better offer but certainly not because of a man or woman.

    Darling, how long have you known this man? I hope he has proven himself worthy? If he is as great a guy as you portray, he wouldn't mind waiting for you to get a better job, no? Don't throw your security blanket away just yet. You must have your own financial independence even if you are marrying a billionaire. This is the time to build up your career because once you get married and start having kids, your priorities shift and rightly so.

    You want a good man, a great job and financial independence. You can have all but you have to prioritize. A good man who loves you will not leave because you postpone marrying him because you want to be well established first. He will even be happy and encourage you. A man who leaves you because you want to better yourself, is an insecure control freak. You should even be wary of a man who seems too eager to get married. Honey, as long as you keep showing love and respect to your boyfriend, he isn't going to leave you. It's usually the wrong attitude that chases good men away. You are just 24 years, you have your whole life ahead of you. Your number one priority now should be working towards being the best version of yourself. Pray for guidance, you can never go wrong with prayers. Life has no guarantees, we take leaps of faith and hope we land on favourable ground. Good luck.
    e-hugs and kisses.

  31. Look at it in 2 ways
    1. You can marry him and relocate to Canada later
    2. Relocate to Canada now and you will meet someone else in Canada ..
    Ur call

  32. Once you have resigned and he marries you, children will come. You stay at home without income apart from what he gives you or your family brings, and you're dependent, this your "rare gem" will not be rare again. Men have a way of changing by the smallest of reasons. Could be argument, what he sights, has heard or imagined.

    Never ever resign!

    Think you, do you, love youself more. Women and love sef. Will guy man think twice before processing his documents if case was reversed?

    Head here over heart.

  33. This is confusing. Poster seek the Lord's Face.

  34. You're only 24, stop planning your future around a man


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