Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Tuesday, September 03, 2019

Chronicle of Blog Visitor Narrative...

This is serious!!!







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE....
WHEN LOVE TURNS INTO STUPIDITY



Dear Stella,

I read Monday's Chronicle  about the lady who blindly dated a married man in the hope that he will marry her and how stupid she was bla bla bla.

My own stupidity is worse.

In Dec 2016, I met someone on Single and Mingles.

We started communicating and soon relationship started albeit long distance. I lived in another country..

I have a heart for people and will share my last dime if someone is in need. The sob stories started. 2k today. 5k tommorow. I think he quickly understood that I am a generous person and took advantage of my niceness.

His name is Chuks and he is a twin. He has a twin sister and lived in Abuja until this year when I brought him to Lagos.

I digress.

I kept sending money to him even when I didn't have, I borrowed.
This relationship continued for months until 2017 when I sent a friend to give him some native already made shirts, palm slippers. His thank you was that the palm is fake and the shirts too big. I remembered on Valentine's day, how I contacted a popular BV that bakes to deliver a cake to this guy I had never met . All the way from another country, I sent money to her. She delivered the cake and his response is that the cake is bad. 
The taste is not nice. Even his dad and step mum ate the cake and everyone said it's not nice.


I decided I was done with this entitled man who behaved and talked like a kid. I took stock of how much I had sent to him from Jan 2017 until June that year. It was almost 300k in bits and pieces. I counted my losses and broke up with him.
Somehow we came back together again and relationship continued. I relocated to Nigeria in late 2017 and we kept planing to meet. In all of this, I was still sending sending sending.i was based in Lagos and he in Abuja. 


My business packed up when I relocated, things were not like it used to be financially so I got a job. In all this time, I kept sending his CV out, I opened a professional email for him. I am sure I sent over 100 CVs out for him. I kept editing/ updating his CV and kept giving.

Finally in August 2018 we met.

I paid his transport to Lagos, Booked a hotel and we spent the weekend there. I paid for everything including water he drank. I wasn't comfortable with his eating habit and so many things I observed in that short period, I told him that I didn't have any more money and gave him his transport back to Abuja earlier than planned.

He bade me farewell and went to Ogba to meet another lady he met via singles and Mingles. He is a BV and reading this, till date he didn't know that I read all his chat with her and knew all about her and his visit to her place.
I got a job as HR in a small firm. I tried to get him onboard , it didn't work. 


I got another job after 8 months also as HR and was able to bring him to Lagos from Abuja. He lived with me in my apartment. I paid his transport to work, I bought breakfast, lunch and dinner for him I helped out with his job cos he didn't know much about the job but I just wanted him to work. I fed him. He slept with me. I washed for him. I kept giving money.


The only time I tested him and collected 3k to cook, he asked me to give him back."babe you know you owe me. This guy is 38 years old although he looks way younger.

I lost this new job and he was sacked although no one knew we had a thing going.
He left back to Abuja with my money even though he was paid off when sacked. I got yet another job as HR and brought him back to Lagos. This time I was tired of his misbehaviour when he stayed with me earlier so I insisted he got somewhere else to stay. He did all he could to stay with me, I refused. He finally located his aunty's house in sangotedo and started living with them.



I got him a job in my office and the pretense started again. No one had to know that we were dating. His entitled give give give behaviour did not stop. All his work clothes he owns, I bought for him. All. Except maybe 1 or 2 trousers.
I got pregnant 2 months ago and didn't know. When I discovered, I started bleeding. It was so bad , the pain . I saw a doctor and long story short, I lost the babies but one placenta did not die, it started replicating and attached itself to the walls of my womb. Started growing and this cyst filled the whole womb. Molar pregnancy was the diagnosis.


 Doctor was worried about cancer as well cos of the rapid growth. Mecure became my home cos u kept going back and forth for beta HCG and other tests whilst in serious pain.


Brother had managed to save 40k with me so we can rent a place in Dec, get married etc.we planned to save together. I paid 250k cash for this procedure of removing this growth in my womb.He didn't give a dime. He even left me in the hospital to go home to sleep after collecting money from my bag to go buy fast food. I was disgusted.


I got better, resumed work and on one fateful day his phone rang and kept ringing. I picked. I have never picked his call in all the time we have been together.( He guards it and locks it with finger print . I lobbied for him to be given money 80k within a week of resumption to buy a phone. He didn't have one, he lost it just before he came to Lagos to resume) the caller called him baby. I quickly saved the number and checked the person out on Whatsapp.



He told me it was his friend that sells singlets. I didn't believe. I contacted the girl and she was really cool. She and I talked maturedly. She is a single mum just as I am. He has also promised her marriage and they have been together for 2 years. They met on Facebook. She revealed that he has a 2 year old son with a married woman in Abuja. 


Nothing broke me more than the fact that she said he gave her 7k to cook jollof rice/ chicken for him. He collected that money from me saying he wanted to send it to his Dad. I felt so bad. Rather than apologise. He starts to misbehave. Demanding his 40k. This is a man that I feed, clothe, a man that I have spent over 1 million naira on. A man that I loved with all my heart.


I got angry and we exchanged words. He mocked me with the molar pregnancy and said it's my body that destroyed the babies and it wasn't his fault so why should he give me money to take care of myself. 


He contacted my sibling to report the 40k, I reached out on Facebook to his twin and younger sister Rita. I explained to her and she has never heard about me.4 years secret that's who I was. He didn't tell them I got him his 1st job since 2015 when he lost his job, didn't tell them I got him his current job, told them nothing about me. It dawned on me that I was played by a 419. I was his local maga.


He never loved me but was with me for the benefits. It's not as if I am rich. I bent over just to make him happy.
I saw him in Lekki gate heading to work. I was ready to tear him to pieces cos as HR I can't misbehave at work, he ran when get saw me charging at him.
I lost it. Couldn't sleep at night for days. I cut my hair sef and just wanted to harm myself. The thought of my child saved me.


Chuks you are reading this. Probably searching for the next victim on SDK or Facebook or wherever. I take back all the curses I laid on you. I don't need to curse you. Karma has your address.


I see you every day at work and regret ever knowing you. A love scammer. A liar. A cleat. This morning during the meeting you were video chatting and kissing another victim. You will reap what you sow.

I am resigning and relocating. 

You know that you will never find another woman like me. No more fools out there bro. Even I am now smarter.

Someday you will weep bitterly for the games you play with women .
Stella thanks for posting. I have accepted the marriage proposal of someone that has been on my case for a long time but I kept refusing cos I was in love with Chuks.

I will love my husband someday. Marriage and relocation is the next plan.
Life goes on. Ladies on this blog, be wise. Don't love anyone more than they love themselves. Hide your money. Love with your head intact.

I will be alright someday.
Mummy J



*wow.....I am so sorry about this...
You should have dumped him long ago but you kept holding on and hoping he would change.
Please move on from this wicked man in the Narrative..
If you are the Chuks and you read this,please mail me cos we want to know why you are so wicked..If you are a B please mail me to avoid call out by anyone else cos  am sure your victims will know you from this story.
We are supposed to be one family here...we fight and make up and move on but not scam each other for money and love...its wrong!!!

159 comments:

  1. I have so much to say but to not seem harsh I will make it brief.

    Ladies, please love yourself. I know I and a lot of people say this but honestly it’s lack of love for oneself that would make you entangle yourself in such web of lies and pain. No man should make you lose yourself. Once he is ashamed to ask you for money at will, just know that he is a free loader. I can’t believe that you went ahead to marry this man and get pregnant for him despite how rough the relationship started. I know there are more women like you or even worse but sisters, there aren’t a lot of good men but please stay single if the men you keep meeting will make you lose your self worth. I’m so upset by this chronicle, to think that you’d add “you will never find another woman like me” just means that you desperately needed him to accept you as the best thing after sliced bread.

    Men will always be men, this is why I strongly agree with certain people who say that “men love wicked women” because you see ehn some if not most men can kill themselves over a woman who wouldn’t lose a wink of sleep or go out of their way to please them. Love yourself hunnies, you are enough.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Men will always be men" WRONG!!!

      Delete
    2. Oh Mummy j I Remb u. May God restore u. If not for ur baby’s face u would have been 6ft. Proud baby mama. No love for HOLIGaNS.

      Delete
    3. If you see the way I am saying hmmm hmmmm hmmmm and grunting in the office with amazement as I'm reading this. My colleagues probably think I am going mad.
      Pls lord may I or any lady I know be ever used by a man in this inhumane way. Madam I just feel so sorry. You've lost all self respect,this one is not even self esteem. How do you let someone with nothing use you in this form. I know ladies in my office in their 40s not married,living their life like it's golden. They won't even accept 1% of this fuckery. One a single mum 42 just wedded a widower recently.
      If they ask you your age now you will say 30 and age is not on your side.
      My question to women is must you always have a man. The fear of being alone has pushed plenty beautiful,educated,hard-working women like yourselves to nonetities that on a good day should not say hi to you. Can you not have some time to be single and re-evaluate your lives and wait for a good man. First what is a career woman doing with a jobless 38yr old. That should have sounded alarm bells. At that age im not saying he shld be rich but he shld have his shit together. COMMON

      Delete
    4. Anon 15:18 sorry o men can be women and women can be men. I’m not homophobic at all 😘

      Delete
    5. Poster I'm so sorry for everything you went through, I can't even begin to imagine your pain. If you have his picture you should have sent it to Stella so she can disgrace him, so we can drag him and his generation alittle. Please love yourself, buy nice things for yourself, eat at nice expensive restaurants, make pretty hairstyles etc. You'll be fine darling, time heals all wounds.

      Delete
    6. I thought yesterdays chronicles was the worst.. This one right here is the 'gandhi' of all..
      I really don't have words for you,poster... and the fucktard you were stupidly obsessed with..
      I am just concerned for your soon-to-be husband who has no clue of what he is bout to get himself into..
      You clearly haven't healed from whateverdfcuk happened btw you and the-sorry-excuse-for-a-man.. Yet you wanna marry for the seemingly sole purpose of relocating and 'moving on' ..
      In your words "you will love your husband some day".. Why don't you love yourself first and take care of your son FOR NOW!.. Don't rein that man into something he ain't prepared for.
      I sincerely wish you well..really.
      Goodluck with everything.
      God bless you.

      Delete
    7. It took me so long to read this, about 50mins bcos I kept getting angry while reading, so I'll stop and continue later.
      I never appreciated all those prep-self affirming rhymes in motivational videos, but now I see it is very important and need. I mean what the hell was all dat scarificing and slaving when u knew it was all lies and even turning into a living ATM for soneone you've not seen?!!!...

      Sorry that you had to hurt yourself so much bcos you tot u had to work towards been loved, I hope you heal, love and find peace with your husband. Pls ladies, let's have sense and not emotion, loving with money is not the way forward, it be clouds love; he's hapoy with the money he's getting from you and not you urslf, so you take his smiles as love for you, sorry.

      And madam HR poster, I don't know why you have not helped him to get fired yet, when you see the foolishness he displays at work and still keep mute. And no, he won't find anoda woman like you, you are an original not a mass pro or a copy.

      Delete
    8. Poster, the earlier you forgive yourself, the better. Now, you can be an expert teacher on this "life lesson" bcos you were a most dedicated student of it. Yet, in all the ONLY part in which I fault the guy man, is where he mocked you/your body for the failed pregnancy. That there, was a blow below the belt. Not even an outsider nor known enemy should ever have to say anything remotely close to that to a woman. Now, for the rest nah you take your hand invite am in bcos it takes two to tango. Whatever happened to staying single, sane and happy???

      Delete
    9. My goodness!!!! Sorry poster you had to go through this. I hope you find healing soon.

      Dear ladies, 1. Never let a man know you have money, never let them know what you do for a living, so if a banker, say receptionist etc always lie!!!
      2. Forget about love, and leave that until marriage and reserved for your kids. Use your heads!! Be tactical & play your cards well. Men do these things,
      3. Leave your emotions out of dealings with men

      Practice this! Like everything else, it’s not easy but with time you’ll be good at it, And you will never be anyone’s fool again.

      It breaks my heart to see women go extra miles for men. No man except your father & brothers (if they have had been good to you) is worth lending help too. If a man says he is broke, sympathise with him & move on. Zero help should be given !

      Delete
    10. Who is that stupid gold digging broke ass chuks with a twin sister called Rita? Women beware of that motherfucker

      Delete
    11. Poster, what is chuks English name n surname? So ppl can beware of the fucker

      Delete
    12. Send a link of this post to your colleagues biko.

      Delete
    13. His English name is Anthony and his twin is Maureen. Rita is his younger sister

      Delete
    14. Poster the problem was u. U are desperate pure and simple!!!! Check urself and change or else it will happen all over again. U r too desperate.

      Delete
  2. I am a woman and really do not know how ladies do it. I CAN NEVER EVER GIVE MY MONEY TO ANY MAN EVER EVER I am so stingy to a man but I WILL BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR MY FELLOW WOMAN. The only man I cam give money to or spend mad money on is if the man is my son simples.

    Yes I am shouting. Sis this is a clear case of JAZZZZZZ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yimu.
      Love never hold you

      Delete
    2. 15:12! Let’s b friends pls. I fought a bf I loved so much publicly, I ride a brand new Honda Civic 2014( 7million) purchased with my money in 2013! Pple gathered asked how much? I no get shame #14k. Yesssssss. Yoruba insults left right. Agboro pple insults. An elderly man asked him how he wan take pay, shame leave me catch am well we’ll, he said 2k every week. Sis I collected all my money including his sweet dick. Nonsense. Proudly single and a baby mama. All my money goes to my boy. Rubbish

      Delete
    3. Anon 15:20pm which dirty love be that?

      Women are womens problem. We women can bend over and give a man but to our fellow woman we wont do it. If only women can help women this life will be easier

      Delete
    4. No how love wan hold person wey make person craze like this abeg. This is clearly a lack of self love,lack of self esteem, the desperation to get married ,not fulfilled with self etc. If you know who you are,you wont settle for less. Love is not a one way street .you cant keep giving and giving. May God you lot who thinks like this.

      Delete
    5. Proudly shameless and stingy. Your own too much abeg

      Delete
    6. Hahaha with the rate of jazz this days, I won’t b surprised if u were jazzed

      Delete
  3. we have all been in this position before- it will hurt as hell, but you will be fine...Once you realise that you are more than enough, that a nonentity and irrresponsible community blokos should and CANNOT make you have low self esteem, you will recover yourself

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What do you mean by we? Abeg speak for yourself. No be all women be Ruth abokoku!! I was team no sex and certainly no spending my money on any man. And yes been married 10 years and counting now. When you know you are a real jewel you will not manage anybody!!!

      Delete
    2. Lol which we,please speak for yourself.

      Delete
    3. You and who? I have never been in that bloody position, the best I can give you are tears, my money cannot be part of such kind of love.

      Delete
    4. Asin, na really speak for yourself.

      Delete
  4. There are so many women out their ready to sponsor a layabout to love them, even with this your chronicle, some will still not learn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So many r married to men using them. How can a man hide his own money while u b d one spending? All to Ans MRS? God forgive una o

      Delete
    2. Chucks is an unrepentant playa. I know him and his twin sister. Her name starts with an M. My money finished on his twin sister's head. They eat like pigs and always very entitled. Very mean and selfish twins. Tueh!

      Delete
    3. You know what got my attention?
      " I bent over just to make him happy."
      You opened your vj for him and he finished you.
      If there was no sex/living together in this whole mix
      you would not feel this bitter. And if I may ask, you are
      resigning and relocating for what -because of him?
      Why?
      I will rather advise you to stay and work like he does not exist.
      Learn your lessons and seek God and stop bending over for a man
      to be happy, a man that has not married you.

      Delete
    4. I never believe this o, how do they do it? Give out money like it's going out of fashion, even when you know he is cheating on you? Really, how do you do it?
      I think there's a specie of women that like being treated like trash o.

      Delete
    5. Lol bent over is not about sex.

      Delete
    6. Mace you know them? Pls tell more about it.

      Delete
  5. If you are chucks, u are a terrible person for taking advantage like that....There are no more victims here for you. Ladies of singles and mingles plz shine your eyes!!!!!
    And to poster I sympathize so much with you, but plz take note of all the lessons! U let him get away with and too so much shit from him. Be wiser dear. God bless u!

    ReplyDelete
  6. 😳😳😳😳

    ReplyDelete
  7. Terrible useless men out there and i keep wondering why women still tolerate them. My friend really suffered to work on one and i use to think if there brains were made of tissue paper, i don't need to call her out cos she is a bv . I am happy you two ended up and i believe he has changed for good, those his annoying character use to piss me off.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wait??!! Must you marry?! After all you have been through you are still hoping to "love your husband someday". I'm really confused. Why don't you focus on loving your self and child. I really should have been born in the future because Nigerian women now are something else.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I must marry syndrome has reigned a lot of women

      Delete
  9. My goodness!!! What’s this nonsense?
    Is this desperation laced with stupidity or you have a very low self esteem?
    A 38 years old man with no self respect.
    Why is it so hard to love genuinely without trying to scam your lover?
    But poster, you over did this things.
    A real man will not ask his woman for money, at least not this way. You kept giving out to him, fed him, clothe him, are you his mother?
    All this was for him to stick to you?
    You didn’t love that guy, you were only scared of being alone.
    I hope you have gotten wiser now.
    Chucks or whatever you are called, you are a disgrace to humanity.
    You have no iota of shame in you. Go out and see what real men not even up to 38 are doing with their lives.
    Instead of you to grown up and make an honest living, you are busy scamming innocent women. Shame on you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chucks you are not a nice person at all. Mummy J I have so many things to say but I would not want to make you feel worse. Don't ever lower your standard because you are a single mother and feel no one will love you because of this.. Please learn to love yourself and don't ever think you can buy a man's love. I'm even more worried for your husband because even though you are married you are still learning to love him. So you left a very toxic relationship and used your husband as the rebound. He is the one I'm really sorry for..

      Delete
  10. Yaba left escapee3 September 2019 at 15:17

    "No more fools out there, bro"....
    Thats a lie! Women worse than you are still in abundance, totally blind with their eyes wide shut.

    I'm more concerned about the loveless marriage he has pushed you into, i feel sorry for the new man, he has no idea he is a rebound.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And I also wonder if she has told this new husband of hers about the molar pregnancy ish!

      Chai!

      Delete
    2. She’s scared of being alone. Poster, love yourself first.

      Delete
    3. are they in a marriage? didn't get dat part.

      Delete
    4. Shes engaged to a man she doesnt love.

      Delete
  11. Karma will definitely catch up with you chuks.someone trying to bring out the best in you..this singles and mingles is a good course but its like we need to open a register with name,picture,number and email and blog name of everyone seriously.This is wickedness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol @Register, who would the book be with.


      May

      Delete
  12. I have seen it all, I have a colleague who has been feeding and clothing a man for more than four years all in the name of marriage even upto airtime and data.he cant do anything for himself and has refused to work .Madam looks like a shadow of herself, he has sucked all the energy and blood from her. I don't know how some men sleep at night after stressing a woman you are meant to love so much. Anyways na from clap e dey enter dance, women shine your eyes well well.when I was single, Once I hear please lend me some money..... .jappa straight no wasting of time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I don’t give guys money, what for exactly?

      Delete
    2. The sad part is they forget themselves in the process of loving a man.
      Imagine o, she would go to work, return and cook for him, wash, clean, mop and still service his bed. Then what is he a man for. He should just get a vjayjay already nau. radarada.

      May

      Delete
    3. I'm a single mother, lives outside the country too, I met one like that always praying for me and pretending to be next of kin to Jesus himself.he come relax unto he don found maga, first he would start scratching his head when we video chat, I will ask him if he is tired, he will tell me his brother from owerri called, is in the hospital and asking him for money. Ask him why a grown man will be asking him for money, next Ask him how his day went, he said he went to hospital to check his blood sugar, they said it's at 120 and gave him medications and he just paid 5k, as a health worker, I know if your not diabetic, don't can't just give you insulin like that, their first recommendation is to modify your diet. He said he is not diabetic, and it's just for that single use, to bring it down. I noted down the lies, when nothing was moving me to drop, he started notifying me of his birthday two months in advance, I planned to surprise with birthday cake and food through vendors but when he asked me what am going to give or send him on his birthday, I cancelled. Am divorced, while dating and single I have never asked guy for birthday gifts or xmas gifts.though i sometimes receive surprises which I always appreciate cos I believe it's not compulsory and should not be demanded or asked. That cancelled it for him, he came with long elaborate story of traveling,I never knew he was counting on me to finance it, I laugh. I never finish financing my brothers finish, na stranger. He is 40 something oh, 4 years older. I have always have the feeling that any man that can confidently ask a girl he is dating for money is not a man, I believe couple should support each other but support don't have to be money oh.lafies be guided. Support emotionally, advice wise , please leave money matter out oh.

      Delete
  13. Here comes another one.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm reading this and my heading is spinning. I do not know you mummy J, but all I can say, is that I am sorry you went through this with a wicked and heartless man. I pray and hope the new guy treats you right.

    ReplyDelete
  15. When you are desperate to get married, you will meet a desperate person also. Desperate people are easy to scam, because they aren't thinking straight during their time of been desperation. No matter the advice you give them, all they are seeing is how to acquire the things they are desperate about.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh i agree with you totally. Desperation has a way of covering our eyes from the truth.
      Thats why i think its unhealthy to let the fear of loneliness or konji reason for you. One needs time to heal before venturing into another relationship, so we dont continue recycling brokenness.

      May

      Delete
  16. Chuks,o maa buru leeyan o. Mummy J,you will be fine. I'm short of words jare.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I remember sometime ago, I met someone who was all over me....in fact he was so sweet I thought I had hit it big.
    One day I asked him to help me draw cash from the ATM. I am sure he checked my balance.
    After that day, he started dropping stories of how he would have loved to get this and that.
    I became deaf all of a sudden. You want to use me to shine πŸ’πŸΏ‍♂️
    Then he started planning his UK trip....to go see his child.
    That was when the real stories started. He said he need 200k to sort out some things and would pay back two weeks from that day.
    I was so irritated. I kept telling him I didn’t have. I sympathized with him and even prayed for him to get money o πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    The more he pushed for me to loan him money, the more I kept lamenting about how my business was suffering.
    From 200k, he arrived at 20k
    I told him I fell and broke my leg, I had to bandage my leg, snapped and sent him the picture...nor be only broken leg.
    I thought he would stop asking, for where he didn’t o.
    I cut him off immediately.
    Such men are usually so sweet, they will do anything for you just to make you weak in your feelings towards them.


    ReplyDelete
  18. Poster I feel pity for you unlike that amateur witch of a few days ago that came here to confess.

    Please women, understand the difference between being used and building with a man. All the signs are always there but for some reason the victim never seems to see it. You are lucky you didn’t lose your life because of a fraudster.

    The thing about these men is that they like to prey on single mothers, older spinsters, and curvy (FAT) women. They feel these women are either too desperate for love or don’t know much about life to spot their fraudulent ways. Some of these women are so needy and go the extra mile to prove theyre worthy of love, and end up being used and full of regret. This is because of the psychological complexities these women seem to have. Please note I said SOME.

    Call me old school but before I got married, the only lover I ever borrowed money was an ex boyfriend. I can never forget that day. He was looking very distraught and promised to pay as soon as possible. It wasn’t until much later I found out the depth of his situation and how he was even living from his car. He made sure he paid back with interest even when I told him not to bother. Till today he still buys gifts for my kids and dashes me Christmas money. Na so man suppose be!

    Ladies, real men don’t depend on women for money. They would rather provide than take. They feel insulted when you even offer them money. You can give them food and gifts on special occasions but even at that they will find a way to pay you back for what you’ve done. Tfare, upkeep, presents etc.

    Ladies the only way to prove yourself to a man is to be nice, fun, mysterious, level headed, focused and honest. Be true to your character and don’t do pass yourself. You don’t need to cook firewood jollof, wash clothes, spread legs, clean house, dash him money, be calling his siblings like customer care etc to show you’re worthy. If he visits you, by all means give him a treat but men can sense desperation from a mile away and the evil ones capitalize on it.

    May god protect the soft hearted ones. Stella please we need more of these so people can learn lessons.

    Ivannah

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're a wise one my dear. thin line between building with a man and being used by a man. She must have overdone it to the point he saw she would do anything for him.

      Delete
    2. 'calling his siblings like customer care' got me🀣🀣🀣

      Delete
  19. Mummy J, you will be fine. Try and forget him. Am happy you are relocating so you can't be seeing him. Please never rush into marriage!!! Cool down, enjoy yourself. Make sure your next man love you most. God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Na wah o. I don't know how you ladies do it. Me, give you my money. Na wah!!! How I wan take do that one na. My husband doesn't even know how much I earn. When he's broke I can only spend 2k on vegetable sauce and fish while we wait for God to do a miracle. I'm too stingy abeg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na wa for you oo!

      Delete
    2. 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣 kia, you are funny.

      Delete
    3. You can't spend to support your husband and household, in low times???? You are a witch! I hope your husband knows who you really are. Nonsense!

      Delete
    4. If that man is cheating on you, i wont blame him....

      Delete
    5. Kai...you are not nice.
      But when your husband is not broke, you will want to eat everything, SMH.

      Delete
    6. Anon 16:46 I agree I'm a witch. No wahala. But at least I'm witching with my money in my account abi? Don't come to my comment and be giving me yeye marriage advice...

      Anon 17:00 you see that you don't have sense, please did they tell you that marriage is do and die? If he cheats and I can't take it won't I Waka or go and fine my own sugar man? I no go bring my money no advice me abeg

      Delete
    7. Anon we are on the same table NO TIME. What people don't know is when he is broke and you bring out correct money he will be forming broke always saying sebi my wife has money, omo don't ever start what you cant finish. Faithful or not use your 32 some men are wicked!

      Delete
    8. "My money"... "my money"
      How much do you even have sef? Stingy person.
      Your type wont let fly petch on your food and fly away freely, you'd eat the fly, tueh

      Delete
    9. Wicked and evil wife.
      Longer throat woman with poverty mentality

      Delete
    10. anon e pain these anonymous MEN badly!

      Keep your money honey...I was central bank till guy man became irresponsible na im i lock up!

      Delete
  21. What rubbish is this please?
    I hope a floodgate of mumu love stories has not been opened cos I don't think I want to be reading trash like this every day.
    As in you guys broke up and you still went back again?
    You saw texts of him hooking up with another single and mingle chic and you still brought him back to live with you?
    Even now with your so called engagement, you are still checking to see who he is calling?
    Who knows if you wrote this to get his attention backπŸ€”?
    Yesterday it was a desperado thinking she could use money to purchase tears for her fellow woman. Today is Hajiya Bring Bring with low self esteem and a partiality for shabby treatment.
    Gosh!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi..I will rather die than go back to him.
      He delibrately sat beside me during MPR meeting and started video calling and blowing kisses making sure I saw what he was doing. It's a conference room I am HR, I have to comport myself in the workplace. I decided to remain seated where I was even if I knew his intentions was to unsettle me.
      I don't want him back . Anthony Chuks I don't need you back.
      God forbid .
      I just feel like I woke up from a dream.

      Delete
    2. Can't you just sack the fool?

      Delete
  22. As in you have money, instead of using it to enjoy life with your baby, you where busy wasting it on a Congo shiner?
    Shudders

    ReplyDelete
  23. Wait chuks? is his twin sister called Maureen? are they from delta state? oh no!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Why do fools fall in love? 😳😳😳

    This is a cautionary tale and I can empathize with it since you 've already beaten yourself up. I have no words for Chuks.

    Hang in there, Mummy j.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Perxian, remind of that movie,lol. I guess even the movie didnt tell us why.

      May

      Delete
    2. Love makes you a fool.

      Delete
  25. I didn't exactly know if i should weep or laugh over this chronicle.
    We've all done silly things for love and some we ain't proud of, but this here is the height of wickedness to oneself.
    Why exactly were you this wicked to yourself? why did you let yourself go in the name of loving a man(a leech, at 38 he had no bearing, more reason you should have ran. But no, you stayed, you stayed to fight a battle that wasnt yours. Are you his mother or you felt you were a saviour. You wanted to build a man child that refuse to build himself) Omashe o.
    When you date a broke man you owe him nothing. A good broke man would be ashamed to ask his woman for money, supporting you and looking for ways to make you proud of him would be his goal.
    I'm sad that it took you this long to realize yourself. Konji and lonliness na bastard o.
    You see that man that you agreed for, better let him go.You are not ready
    You need to heal, you need to learn to love yourself. you need to find yourself. Another relationship or marriage would be something else. Madam another relationship would not fix what is broken in you.
    Your boyfriend asking you for money should be a deal breaker.
    Sad thing is most ladies giving men money in the name of bf wont help their gfs if they ask.
    I pray you find peace.


    May

    ReplyDelete
  26. I am speechless, this marriage thing na big deal for some women o. Gosh!, who raised/ trained Una? Abi na ako-igba as Yoruba dey call am? I can't deal, definitely not in this age and time.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Chucks see what u have caused,u will know no peace. Poster hold on to God . He will heal you.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Wonderment!!! 😲 I am shocked and perplexed at the same time.
    I found this very painful to read, you kept getting hurt, you kept going back to him, he never provided, never gave you anything (no attention, no care, no helping hand, no listening ear, no compassion, no nothing) was never there for you and you kept giving and giving and borrowing and giving and it never occurred to you that he didn't love you and was out to take advantage of you and your good heart?
    Love gives, love is gentle, love is kind, love is compassionate, love is like a stream of cool water on a sunny day, like a gentle breeze on a hot day. Love is amazing. He never gave you these things nor made you feel like that so why didn't you cut him off? 😟
    What kind of love if this? So blinding? So silly? Is this desperation? The need to be called a "Mrs" that a woman who has everything going well for her will get herself entangled with losers who treat them like shit?
    I feel pained for you especially reading about how you nearly lost your womb and he turned around to mock you!
    Ah! Chucks! You will never ever find love and peace of mind. People will so use you and dump you and take advantage of you. Whatever possessed you to treat someone like this?

    Please poster I beg you take a break, take time to just simply breathe. You are still carrying the wounds he inflicted on you, don't go and bleed all over an Innocent man forcing yourself to love him. Take it a day at a time I beg you. Don't rush into a rebound relationship/marriage because you have nothing to prove to anybody. Heal first and take it easy. If this new man loves you, he will walk with you every step of the way and if he doesn't then good riddance; but I have a feeling that he will be there for you until you are ready.
    Delete everything that links, looks like, resembles even remotely like chucks so that your healing can be easier. It's even better that you are relocating. I wish you well dear.
    I'm sure one desperado somewhere is scheming to have him. May he scheme his way into a wicked woman who will be an albatross on his neck.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Pls also send his full name to Stella..ladies be warned!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Yep, your case is definitely worse than the other poster. Imagine if you loved yourself half as much as you loved this guy, and invested half as much as you invested in him into your own life where you would be today. You do not love yourself and no love will find you until your learn to love yourself. You need therapy to find the source of your self hatred. I hope with every fiber of my being that you find healing and see that you are a wonderful being created out of the purest love of God's energy and that you are loved completely. May you look in the mirror and see yourself as God sees you. May you start a new story in your life of falling in love with YOU. May you never look outside of you for that which is already in you, created in you from you were just a though in the consciousness of God and created in perfect love.

    ReplyDelete
  31. This is so sad! Mummy J please take heart and see things falling in places for you soon. It is well

    ReplyDelete
  32. you were generous to men and not generous in general, didnt you have relatives that needed that money at that time, ladies should better keep their money cs a man that truly loves you wont even ask for your money, y'all should better be wise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its her type that denies her blood siblings help but can buy car for a male bedmate.

      Delete
    2. Hi Blackberry, you are wrong. I care for everyone around me. I guess it's a burden I was born with, I just like to help out as much as I can.

      Delete
  33. So many women even ones here have been this "aunty wey mumu". Will never bash her. She and others did what they thought was right and just for their supposedly men, sincerely.Nothing wrong in falling in love but ladies, single ladies, fall in love with one eye open, at least. That's the difference between MOST men and most women.

    A times, I keep wondering if this is part of the curse (for folks that believe) Eve got concerning the apple. Gen 3:16 That the desire of a woman shall be for her husband. This is not ordinary.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Why do we woman believe that we can change a man to what we want him to be?
    I'm sorry to say and admit,that is one thing we can never achieve no matter how hard we try.We ladies are the reason this fools take advantage of us. [Abeg, If you neva fall mugu,waka pass]
    We are the one with total control. We experience all this because we gave them the permission to do so.

    Men respect ladies\women with standards. Ladies get some and be smart about it.

    YOU NEED TO SET YOUR RULES AND REQUIREMENT
    Its high time we understand our power and wield it.
    We need to command respect
    Stop wallowing in self pity and regret,Embrace yourself own all the past mistakes and bad decision and move on.Respect and Love self.It can only make us stronger if we don't let take us down.

    One way or the other we are either victims or vulnerable to these sort of men.
    It no longer about you or me, it now about our sisters,daughters,mothers,aunt,nieces who are [could be]victims or targeted prey to this dimwit villains

    P.S If you are good man and you stand up for what is right,I mean no offense.I'm enrage with self and on behalf of my sisters going through so much because of the past decision they've made.

    ReplyDelete
  35. women are mumu.thats how God created them.we are men.once we catch u,u are gone.for all dose razor mouth women here,99% of u are in this film.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Chai the worst Chronicle I have ever read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chuks abi na wetin..see ehh your downfall/water loo is raised to power infinity. E go do you like film but na reality,your d devil himself.tufiakwa

      Delete
  37. The root cause of all these remain our inability to not wanting to be alone. We hate it. We are so scared of being alone. But why? Because society conditioned us that way . But its not true! You are here for u! Stop putting pressure on urself. A good man/ woman will come! Its ok to be alone! Its ok to be single! I was at peace with being single. I had come to terms with my singlehood. I did a lot of things, met so many people, went so many places and basically lived! When I met him I was not even looking! It happened. My sisters be content being single!enjoy being single!! Plz ! Plz! Stop settling for less! I love love u all!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like you and your comments.

      Delete
  38. Women,pls lets stop this desperation for marriage the society has sold to us,a pure social construct made by men to tie us down and belittle us. Yes marriage is a beautiful thing when we get it RIGHT. Its so painful when i read stories like this ,of beautiful intelligent women who make a total mockery of themselves in the name of love.
    P
    Women,learn to be selfish .learn to think of yourself first, of the benefits you will get because whether You agree or not ,men wedge a greater power than us in the world.
    Have you ever stopped to think of the one thing marriage can give you that you cannot possibly provide for your self or that you cant get whilst being single?
    Dear poster ,sorry for your ordeal .i sincerely hope it serves as a lesson to many other women and i also hope that You make better clear decisions not out of societal pressure or family pressure. I Hope also that the marriage you are going into is not a rebound or another hasty decision made to satisfy societal need to see you married by all means,be rest assured that if you fail to get your marriage from the onset,the pain of staying in a bad marriage or leaving one will be worse than this .
    All the best .

    ReplyDelete
  39. today chronicle is hotter than the one of yesterday, some times in the past i made terrible mistake to love someone from my heart and did everything in my power to please them. I eeven displeased myself in so many ways just to make them happy and at the end of the day i didn't get anything in return.

    I never allowed my foolishness to over take me that i will not remember to reset my brain, we all make mistake at one point or another but repeating the same mistake over and over again is the worst thing i cannot do.
    i wish you all the very best but if i am in your shoe right now i will make such the company sack him before i resign, make him pay for his evil doing before i relocate. If relocating will make you feel better take that root and make yourself happy.
    Chuks God will pay you back in 100 fold, all you men that knows how to hurt women that show you true love and spend on you. The curse that you all gathered already on your head your children children will face it. Madam find it in your heart to forgive and move on with your life, some men don't respect women at all and chuks is one of them. If i am you allah i will call out this chuks that other girls will not fall vitim.

    finally, poster i hope you are not saying yes to that man cos you want to pepper chuks or make him feel bad too, make sure you are saying yes to the right man that deserve you and not to another demon like chuks. So sorry cos i was once on that table but thank God no man will ever play with me or my feelings anymore. I do not love now and spend my hard earn money.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your first paragraph,is for me.friends but now I know better but say bf Lai lai

      Delete
    2. There are friends like that. They can never do even the tiniest things for you.

      Delete
  40. Chucks, if this is all true, just know that what goes around, comes around. I pity your nearest future. I pray you survive this.

    Poster, thank God it didnt Take your life. May God feel your latter years with joy, love & laughter.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Hmm...
    Lady, I have nothing more than this to say. I'm sure you might have been warned, but no, you refused to hear. I've had your type as friends and even relatives, they end up calling you jealous and tell you to face front, that it's their life and you don't know him well like they do. Issorite.
    Dear women, self love, self worth, self esteem ehn, very important. You deserve to be honoured, never think otherwise.
    But will most hear?

    ReplyDelete
  42. This is your second chronicles, you wrote about this guy sometimes ago and we advised you but it seems you didn't take to the advice, you went back to him.
    That's what you deserve when you're blindly stupid. i can't pity your type of person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you.
      I thought it was just me that remember.

      Delete
    2. I am the poster@Don. I have never sent in a Chronicle. It's similar to another person story I guess

      Delete
    3. Wow. You are not the first poster? You have the same issue, sane story line, the guy came from God's know where to stay with her and almost rendered her useless.
      Please try not to let this happen to you again, never!
      Calm down and don't let fake love blind you. Love yourself more and extend the love to your kid, your baby should be at the center of your .
      Love will find you when you least expect it.
      Hug.

      Delete
  43. Worst part is dudes like Chuks think they're smart and God's answer to womanhood. But they won't see it coming. Upon all, he still insulted her and her body for the unborn babies.

    No qualms, karma is more wicked than tsunami, hurricane and earthquake rolled into one.

    ReplyDelete
  44. May thunder locate you this rubbish Chuks!

    ReplyDelete
  45. A man is created to be a provider and a shield. Any male who is not ashamed to always ask for money from his love interest is a scam. I know that challenges come up in life but most responsible guys would hardly keep asking for money from their girl/woman. Please ladies, keep your body and keep your money before marriage. After marriage, you can start involving both(with sense o). You can't be heartbroken and pocket-broken at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  46. May ur next man worship u like a queen that u are... As for chucks, i dont have words for you, may God pay u back in ur own coin... Kai this one is beyond me...

    ReplyDelete
  47. @poster since you have nothing to lose you ahould have sent his pics along with this chronicle. Pic and full name. To help other women .

    Ur case is completly diffrent from the woman of yesterday that thinks because she has money she can just walk into another persons marriage and crash it like that. Nonsense .


    Pls nne put urself together, u have more sense now, realease his pic and name to help the next and current vicgim pls.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Hmm! This reminds me of a family friend who lost her life to a character just as useless,if not more, than this fellow called Chuks. Even on her death bed this good for nothing,manipulative,evil waste of space still obtained money from her . She only realised he never loved her towards the hours of her death.God rest her soul.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. πŸ”ŠπŸ“’πŸ“£πŸ”ŠπŸ”ŠπŸ”ŠπŸ”Š its time to wake up already........

      Many have died ignorantly.
      Some are even contemplating on committing suicide over this good for nothing,manipulative,evil waste of space
      *thistindeypainme*

      Delete
  49. You are fool with a very low self esteem of yourself. I pity you that you will continue to lie down for people to step on you. You need help ASAP SMH

    ReplyDelete
  50. How on this earth !on this world !in this life !does a girl mumu for a guy like this!.
    In my life,the most expensive gift I got a boyfriend was boxers and frame.
    I don't even use my money to cook if I want to,
    How!how!
    Singles learn ,if you are in a wrong relationship walk away .
    Most of these posters suffer from self esteem issues because of the environment they grew up in and the kind of father they had .
    Mothers and father's ,show ur children love!love!love!
    Don't be stiff!hug them ! encourage them, appreciate them!
    Tell them you love them,they are Kings and queens ,
    Let them know you are their bestie and they can always have your shoulder,
    Don't judge them,let them know you are a shoulder anytime ,
    Stop been too hard.
    Manage the stress you find yourself,don't shout on them .
    LET THEM KNOW THEY DON'T NEED ANYBODY TO VALIDATE THEIR EXISTENCE.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly....they lack self esteem.
      I can be nice to you but when I notice you are trying to take advantage of me, I switch quickly.
      You give a man all you have financially, emotionally and otherwise just because you want to feel loved.
      For how long will you do that?

      Delete
    2. Woman of wisdom😘

      Delete
  51. truly sad story. chuks is just a wicked person at heart pure and simple. Mummy J was exploited even though all she wanted was to love chuks and be loved back. tHere are several things for women to learn from this. (1) Signs of a man who does not know the meaning of the word "responsibility".
    Women should also know that it is not possible not to be in a relationship without also giving. Men go broke too and if they are real with their partner can ask for help. Yes, men out of natural pride will refuse to go in that direction so that insult will not enter. yet know that a woman who helps her "responsible" man will always be valued cos he knows she has and did not withhold.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Just go and thank God states u are alive to retrace your step,i have a friend that die last 3months because her own she ended up marrying this knife of Chuks guy for 3year,3months ago she die in her sleep in a friends house she went to make moi moi that he wants to eat.so be thankful most women don't come out alive.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Reminds me of my university days when I fell hopelessly in love with a guy from Surulere. Hmmm, Surulere boys? Fear them o.
    It all started one day while at home on my semester break, I got a friend request from a cute chick on facebook. I accepted and we got chatting, the “girl” was witty and knew whats up. The only snag was that she was based in the UK and only visited Naija on holidays. She sha hooked me up with her male cousin in surulere and from there we hit it off.
    We started with midnight calls before we hooked up.
    On the first day I met him 15k left my pocket and as at then I was just a student oo, I would enter buss from school to surulere only to end up paying for food and cab fare for this dude and his friends. I never for once visited his house. I wouldn’t lie, was chopping pr&& (very bigg) and I felt I was in love while still chatting with his cousin via facebook.
    Sometimes, I’d be reluctant to give my friends cousin money, she would call to reassure me, even promising to repay me. I never got any of my money back. An old flame promised to give me money for human hair, I took the money and submitted it to this dude.
    Finally, it got to a point where I completely ran out of money. One faithful day, I came back to my hostel, flat broke and very hungry and was stareing at the celling, my phone rang and the next thing I hear is*Hello babe, what about the money you promised to give me, I’ve been waiting all day to get the alert*
    I didn’t know when the strength entered my voice and I shouted: Get the f#ck off my line. Guy was like: is it me, you are telling to get off your line…I cut the call and never spoke to him again. Another of his friends reached out to me to play mind games that he is interested in me. That he saw how ive been spending money on Dude and wanted to reach out to me but couldn’t at the time, I blocked that nigga too. Ever since I flee away from any brother that says he stays in Surulere cuz I felt it was a common racket they play there

    ReplyDelete
  54. No way am I reading all that. Poster, has it occurred to you that you were jazzed? Cos there's having a kind heart, and the story you narrated up there no follow abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abeg, she was not jazzed. She was "in love" or "desperate"

      Delete
  55. Replies
    1. KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS! πŸ™‡πŸ½‍♀️πŸ™ŒπŸ½

      Delete
    2. HOSANNA IN THE HIGHEST.

      Delete
  56. @poster love is not a product neither is it a commodity. If he doesn't love u, he will use u.. Beware of love peddlers

    ReplyDelete
  57. The stupid things you do when you arw in love. I was once in love with a man who will collect my pocket money and all my provision when we were in school. Even though he was from a rich home.When we go shopping together but pay seperately.Even when I buy stuff worth 2k.He was already working then while I was still in school.
    Dude is so stingy.Chai. Had to run for dear life. He got married and was thanking his wife on bbm for "accepting him the way he is" Smh

    ReplyDelete
  58. The chronicles i read here sometimes make me shake my head. Are women really this STUPID? The reaction to the valentine gift is already a red flag. All this for someone you had not even MET? You even went on to get jobs for him and pregnant for him. CHAI!!!!!!!!!! Abeg how much do you give to your parents that raised you? You didn't have any family member to advise you? CHAIIIIIIIII!!!!!

    Why won't Chuks use you like this when you don't even like yourself. Funny thing is he already has another woman doing this for him. Women will never learn, especially most Nigerian women. When you treat undeserving men like they are gold, what do you expect?

    Please, don't marry the man you don't love o. He may turn out to be worse or you may treat him badly if the love does not grow in your heart. Take sometime and build yourself FIRST.

    As for oga Chuks, continue o. There's a living God who watches all the pain and tears you put women through.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Maybe, just maybe someday, I'll tell my own story too. His name too is Chuks & he lives in Abuja.

    ReplyDelete
  60. At least 60% of those of you that are married did and still do the same, if not more for their so called husbands. Many of you are suffering and smiling. A lot of you entered one chance buses. Leave us 'mumu' singles to do the same. Luck would smile on us someday. If there wasn't that much pressure by the society on us to have a man, maybe we won't be here.

    You(married women) are the major part of the society that puta us under pressure. Many of you are too judgemental, discriminative and oppressive. So, we consciously do these things with desperation just to match up. And we are not jazzed. We do it with hopes of profiting a happily ever after, the Mrs title or maybe children. Or at worst, mere companionship. Do you know how difficult and lonely life becomes for an aging single woman? Sometimes to find sex sef na die. Sometimes ordinary cuddle sef na war. Even a 'hello' at times becomes really scarce, you would be tempted to offer anything for it. So we are not oblivious of this scams. We just expect in the least, some acknowledgement of our sacrifices from these men.

    Dooooogs(men), please dont just use and dump us. Let us profit something at least. We sacrifice a lot not because you manipulated us. Nor because you were smarter. We always see right through the lies. We just dont expect you to be that insensitive, harsh and heartless.

    Back to my 'fellow singles'( married but living single, suffering and smiling, lol), a lot of you who ended up in their houses took the same gamble and got lucky. That's if you didn't spice it up with jazz. Most of you did the same 'lack of self esteem' thingy while we were busy forming the 'power lady' and here we are today. Of course, they left us for you (cheaper, more affordable ones). I gather many of you were worse, no let me say 'better' hoes than us. While we were forming good girls, they were fucking the living daylights out of a lot of you. Little wonder why many of your marriages were prompted by pregnancies, both unplanned and planned (of course by you) oblivious to their dumb heads. Stupid us were aborting for them and our parents.

    Unfortunately, our chances have reduced drastically with age. Whereas their's increase, as more and more gullible, barely legal age teens, join the pool. Hence, the competition becomes stiffer for us. Don't blame us abeg. If all ladies respected the bar, the standard, men would have no choice than to live up to them. I tire to talk, abeg!

    ReplyDelete
  61. She will still go back to him! Stop wasting your advise.
    Next, the guy will kill her and run away with take her little property.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Heart of men is terribly wicked who will know it,girl shine your eye before you give your heart to men in order to avoid stories that touches the heart

    ReplyDelete
  63. So sorry dear, but you're very stupid sha. Are people still this daft in this21st century?

    ReplyDelete
  64. Dear poster,

    I truly appreciate your courage to be honest and vulnerable with this chronicle and I'd like to offer my two cents. No matter how much you have gone through, you have not permitted yourself any comfort or a break or should you be the one running quitting a job and city to chase an unclear future with a man you don't know after all you've been through with the one you do know? Have you any plans to just bond with your little man and breathe easy before hopping off into another adventure with no rules or GPS? You are even ecstatic about enduring your marriage after persevering through a slow burning hell the last four years- do you see the pattern? If it were not Chuks, it would have been Charles- you are the one permitting, encouraging and subsidizing this abuse- this is not to blame you but to tell you what you already know which is that Chuks was only around for as long as you allowed him and ignored the signs. He manipulated you emotionally and you manipulated him financially. He was selling a Mrs. title, your image of perfection and you were willingly paying in installments. You were both speaking a loveless “cash and carry” language and your subconscious is still proficient in it. You both employed money, sex, marriage job etc to wind each other. If your husband does not have a massive ego or narcissistic personality for your low self esteem to latch unto, you will hate him and it won’t really be your fault. Please look up the dynamic between narcissists and codepenents- there are two partners in this dance, both thinking they are victims. Psychologists will tell you this.

    You have planned to relocate and marry but no plans to find a capable shrink or read a book on codependency? That is dangerous. Frankly, your chronicle reeks of self-hate. You are deeply ashamed of the person in the mirror. Even if you marry Prince Charming, you will continue to bargain for love and manipulate your partner financially and otherwise for attention and care that a part of you is convinced you are unworthy of. Your mindset seeks out a kind of man- bleeding and broken, and you are also actively chasing the title balm of Gilead but remember even Jesus had a gratitude return of less than 10%. You will be unhappy in your new relationship till your husband starts exposing wounds so you can keep busy with the familiar dynamic- this is not good for the man or yourself as not every problem can be bandaged up. If his wounds include battery or wanton infidelity- you will be playing nurse at the expense of your life. Rather than committing yourself to resigning, relocation and "marriage" to a man you don't even know, notice that you that you have not spared anytime to take care of YOU and fix that. Even after being close to self harm, you did not think the girl in the mirror deserved a hug, a break, a time to whine, wallow, cry and heal. That says a lot.

    You have not truly acknowledged your part in creating this hell. You have not apologized to or forgiven yourself. You’re yet to make yourself a SOLEMN promise not to allow this happen again. You sound relieved to build a castle on sinking sand. I think you are chasing the "MRS" title at the expense of the life of your son's mother- I put it this way because for now, you are agreeing with that lying voice saying you are unworthy of respect or love.

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  65. 2) Dear Poster, I noticed your statement "You know that you will never find another woman like me". The positioning of that statement shows that this is something that you are still holding on to and are very proud of. This is ego, fear and hurt. This is holding on to what never was. Let me tell you something for free- Chuks honestly cannot care about you and all you did for him does not matter... what matters is that you are codependent and desperate for love in areas where it doesn’t exist. He may NEVER regret his actions with you. He may become the perfect husband to some other woman. Life is not a Nolllywood script so don’t permit those fantasies to take space in your head and time in your life. There was no point addressing him here. There is a pattern and attraction that would repeat itself unless you address it. You picked him because he sees you the way that lying voice in your head does- as nothing. If this man comes back tomorrow to say the lady he gave 7k is not as good as you and he wants to make up for his mistakes, babe, no lie, you go think am because like a desperate puppy, you are still working for love, holding up your report card of man-tales and stories that touch so the world will say you tried and are a catch but you don’t believe that. PLEASE DON’T BLAME YOURSELF. Just acknowledge where you made mistakes AS A HUMAN BEING, forgive yourself and equip yourself to do better. You have planned to relocate and marry but no plans to find a capable shrink or read a book on codependency? No plans to love future husby now? Perhaps because he has not yet called for a wet nurse. You see you are not ready for yoking? You have not spared anytime to take care of YOU but want to heal the world. Even after being close to self harm, you did not think the girl in the mirror deserved a hug, a break, a time to whine, wallow, cry and heal.

    Dear poster, what broke you is not the molar pregnancy, pain, treatment harsh words or infidelity but that this Chucks who had been a beast to you had found another woman worthy of 7k he stole from you with not so sweet words- your mind is telling you something! PLEASE LISTEN!!! If you are paying for love, what you are getting is not love. You are worthy because you are and you are the protector of that worth.

    I humbly recommend The Human Magnet Syndrome by Ross Rosenberg, Boundaries by Henry Cloud and such books recommended on GoodReads, Amazon GoogleBooks etc . You can look for the videos of these authors on Youtube and check videos on Codependency and other material online. You’ll find a lot of help and information. Wishing you the best going forward. You can do it!!! Don’t self sabotage again by going to some pastor, prophet or other religious body- even you know that is risky for you because you are going through withdrawal from saving and serving- don’t let one hungry amateur do you financial, sexual or emotional jibiti. As you are moving, look for a trained neutral professional, do the homeworks and apply the skills taught. Be fully honest. With time you’ll rise above the waters. Use time now so you don’t lose time later. Sorry it so long.

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    Replies
    1. You're so on point! What broke her is the fact that after everything, he will be with someone else. That deeply hurts. And you're right, he may never regret his actions. And there will be no karma for him, because both of them were in the wrong. Poster, you have no legal claims to him..he was never your husband and you were never married. 'He will never find another woman..' he may find oh. No one is indispensable. Infact, just forget him and move on. Focus on your relationship with Christ to heal your wounds.

      For the unmarried, please flee fornication. Don't live together. Most bitterness, anger and frustration after relationships ending is cos fornication was involved. God in his wisdom knows why he commanded so. Submit your hormones and dreams to the Lord.

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    2. I'm sorry this happened to you poster. But no matter what happens, you must keep living. Live and thrive, that's why you were born. Do not kill or harm yourself for anyone. Get help if you can. And to the guy, its never too late to turn a new leaf. It's unfair to deliberately take advantage of people's vulnerabilities.

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    3. Wow, God bless you richly for such a deep constructive criticism.. You couldn't have said it better. Dear Poster, I strongly advise that you read thoroughly through and apply them meticulously. God heals broken hearts of those who are willing and obedient.. Don't beat yourself so hard, time heals all wounds, champions are those who rise up when they fall. Although a righteous man falls seven times he shall rise up again.. You will be fine,learn the lessons and extend those lessons to others around you..

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  66. I hate to say you're fool but you're kinda foolish. It's sad that you had to learn the hard way but that's what usually happens when you disregard your conscience, common sense, God the Holy Spirit and even good advice from concerned people around you. I'm very sure you had all these you you CHOSE to do what you wanted. Don't be a fool twice because manipulators and users are attracted to women with low self-esteem like sharks are to blood. I would caution against marriage for now. Have you done your due diligence on the one who's been on your case since? Be careful as you proceed so you don't enter into another one chance. I'm shocked that you can even have an open heart to another man immediately after such traumatic ordeal. You need time to heal and develop your spirit to love yourself and build your relationship with God so you can know Him and what He wants for you.

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  67. I met someone on S and M.this guy at 42 was so comfortable collecting money from me.i had to ghost him after i had spent over 200k all in d name of love.i don't want to call him out simply becauses he was called out on this blog a while back.

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  68. Ladies know the difference between been a mother vs lover - You can't treat a man like your son and expect him to respect you as a lover.

    Find yourself a well formed man

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    Replies
    1. Gbam. This comment here. πŸ’―πŸ‘

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  69. Stella, can you ask the poster to send you the picture of Chuks so he can be named and shamed and other women who has been a victim to his scam could come forward or better still hand him over to the police this is a love scam manipulating weak women.

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  70. After reading every comment and the chronicle, all I have to say is that God should help us avoid poor people! Only one million naira, give or take!! #tueh
    Men dey suffer ...... #fact

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    Replies
    1. God should help us women not to meet lazy poor broker ass men like you "King" wanna be.

      Delete
  71. Darling, I hope you get to read this, we're on a family vacation and it's difficult to send comments early due to the difference in time zones. Please, my love, the last thing you need right now is a new man. Even if the right guy comes along now, you aren't emotionally and psychologically ready for a healthy relationship. Contrary to popular opinion, the way to get over someone isn't necessarily getting under or on top another.

    You need to be by yourself, take care of your heart and take care of your child. You have no business being engaged to a man you hope to love some day. If you don't care about yourself, please consider your child. You will be bringing a new man into your child's life as well. Your relationship with the father of your child didn't quite work out, this punk you over indulged has also left your life, I'm guessing your child met him too? Now you are about to introduce yet another man to your child. Children are more observant than you think. "J" is going to watch you live a miserable life with a man you don't love, do you realize how traumatised your child will be? Do you think children don't get affected by how they see their parents or parent behaving as they grow up?

    Sweetheart, marrying a man to make a statement to a loser who took you for granted, is one of the wrongest moves you can make. Marry for love and happiness, not to prove to anyone that you've "won" or you can get a man.

    The tragedy of a mistake is repeating it or not learning from it. Please, sweetheart, NEVER repeat this foolery again. Once you start buying emotions, you know you're getting the knockoff. Take at least 6 months to be by yourself and heal. You mustn't always be in a relationship. Take time to rediscover yourself, pump the breaks on this your new relationship. You don't have to end it, just tell him you need to take things slow for now. If he leaves, so be it. That only shows he wasn't worthy of being your King. The right guy will come and wait for the right time because you are worth it. I just hope you believe you are. I'm sorry you had to go through all that, darling, consider this a learning curve. It does get better, keep your head up and be strong for your child.
    e-hugs and kisses.t...

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  72. I won't blame this woman because sometimes what we do for love is unimaginable not until you come to your right senses.As smart as i think i am,Jessica played me and whenever i think about it i feel so used and foolish.Well,i would advice Mummy J to just let it go.God got ya

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  73. Sometimes I don't understand where or who brought this type of women into this world? They will humiliate & rubbish themselves just to be with a man? In fact a random man??? Without any record of being honorable! Or being in real man!
    No wonder u keep on having job losses! Wasted money! Tragic miscarriages, unloved existence!
    Yeah..because u r a mop!!! And u have willingly opened the door of the demon of pull down, misery & sufferings to sit upon ur head!!!

    My advice is go read self help books, learn healthy self esteem practices, blocking & redirecting any spirits of spiritual theft and loss that come near u and most especially how not to attract them by ur aura & a powerful spirit in u to make them reveal themselves quick or immediately they targeted u for their attacks to be disarmed & destroyed from harming u.

    GO & SPEND THAT UR MONEY ON SPIRITUAL FORTIFICATIONS, SUCH THAT ANY BAD ENERGY WILL BE MUTED, DISAPPEAR, WITHER & DIE IN THE ATTEMPT TO TARGET U!
    U don't need to sleep in church, go to pastor or alfa for building a shield & walls of cover from thieves, manipulators, time & life wasters, 419ers, liars & schemers.

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  74. People please stop calling this poster names. She clearly has got issues with her self esteem which may have been exacerbated from childhood. We all dont have strong back bone, people who grew up with tons of siblings and cousins know how to fight their corner well but others who grew up seeking love maybe due to lack of love from parents or family members will always struggle. Not everyone is the same, please stop calling her names. Not everyone is street smart and not everyone can be resilient at everything. She has admitted defeat and seen where she went wrong.

    Poster please dont et married just yet. It shows from your Chronicle that you are desperately seeking love, try to love yourself first please. Read up on books about how to take care of you, go on self vacations, get spa treatments, treat yourself well with your money. You deserve it not any man. Love yourself first and know that you are worthy of something bigger. Set standards for yourself and your future and maintain it. Dont marry out of sadness or pity, it doesn't work like that. Most of all, I hope you find peace in your heart.

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  75. Yesterday’s chronicle made me remember one that I also encountered. I was still working in the bank as a customer care officer and still single then. This guy came in with a lady and they sat waiting for their turn to approach me. So many people were in line before them so they sat down somewhere. After some time the lady came to me and whispered that her brother will like to meet me. I know the lady because she always comes in to transact and she is friendly, always greeting me in Igbo language. So I said no problem, she asked me to write my number for her that he will call me later, I wrote it down for her and they left.

    Later that evening before I left the office he called asking me to have a drink with both of them before going home so I was like okay. I met up with them at a bar but the odd thing was that it took the lady like over 30 minutes to come out and we kept waiting for her. The guy started telling me that he wants to marry me and how on his wedding day morning he caught his wife to be sleeping with her father, that he was traumatized and since then he didn’t want to marry until now that he saw me. He said he wants to come and meet my people immediately and start wedding preparations. In everything he was saying I kept telling him that I have someone and that I am not interested.

    I excused myself and went home, the next day this guy called me and said that I should please borrow him money that I can’t believe that armed robbers came to the girl’s house at night and stole everything he came with from Ibadan. I told him that I don’t have money o and that he should call his friends in Lagos to help him. This guy will shamelessly ask me for money. He kept begging me to marry him sharp sharp and still kept asking for money. In fact I refused to see him again after that first time and he didn’t also see one dime from me. I later found out that he’s from Imo while that lady is from Anambra.

    My conclusion is that they have these kinds of men and also the ladies that enables them.

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  76. It really woooow. Hummm God help us

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