STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE LYING WIFE AND THE SHOCKING DISCOVERIES
Stella please help me post this in your chronicle column, and pls notify me when it's posted so I can read advice, and don't 4get to use your red pen too.
I need mature advice from BV s, I'm heartbroken.
I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came late last month.
The issue really is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.
She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.
Stella please help me post this in your chronicle column, and pls notify me when it's posted so I can read advice, and don't 4get to use your red pen too.
I need mature advice from BV s, I'm heartbroken.
I got married to my wife December,2015. The marriage is now blessed with two boys, the 2nd boy came late last month.
The issue really is that I just discovered my wife is HIV positive during this 2nd pregnancy.The woman that I showed so much love tricked me into marrying her knowing fully well that she was HIV positive. I'm not really angry because she is HIV positive,I'm angry because she has been playing me all along.
She was in the Uni in another state while we were dating.Almost to the end of her study in 2014, she called that she was pregnant after I visited.She came to Lagos with PT and scan results to prove her claim.
She pressured me into paying her bride price before the pregnancy become public notice.We did our traditional marriage and went to the registry.Months after the marriage,my wife said the pregnancy has mysteriously disappeared, blaming it on "village people" the gentle man in me didn't allow me to read any meaning to the movie.
She tricked me into marrying her with the fake pregnancy after discovering she is HIV positive.
She eventually took in(for real this time) This woman came back home from antenatal one afternoon crying saying that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to attempt labour,mumu me,I was there consoling her not knowing that the C-SECTION was because she is positive.
She eventually took in(for real this time) This woman came back home from antenatal one afternoon crying saying that they booked her for C-SECTION,that the doctor said the baby's weight is below 2kg and will almost be impossible for her to attempt labour,mumu me,I was there consoling her not knowing that the C-SECTION was because she is positive.
She actually told them not to disclose her status to me.
The baby was 3.6kg at birth. I became suspicious when my son was given Nevirapine. I was worried when I discovered the drug is an antiretroviral drug but I played it down.
Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son and the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.
Her lid finally blew when she started antenatal for this my 2nd son and the doctor referred her to a government hospital for HIV confirmatory test.
We went and did the test,I don't know the trick she played this time, the result was non reactive for her, me and our son.I went to the hospital and made Alot of noise,we went home and celebrated.
Seven months later, she had an accident and was admitted, the doctor took her sample and send it to one of the best labs in Lagos,all the kits shows she was reactive.Because of the scene I created earlier, the doctor called me and showed me the result.
That was when I started playing back to the first pregnancy scam, the marriage and the Nevirapine that was given to my first son and I discovered I was being fooled by this woman all along.
This woman has hid her status from me and has been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at a teaching hospital that maybe I'm lucky or we are "discordant couple"
I was expecting her to atleast be remorseful and apologize, but up until now, she is behaving as if nothing happened, instead she is the one giving me all sorts of attitude.
Dear BVs please advice me. What should I do.I don't think I'll be able to stay long in this deceitful marriage,I only pity my sons.I'm afraid for my life.
This woman has hid her status from me and has been taking drugs under my nose for over five years without me knowing.I and my boy have gone for test twice at seven months interval and we are confirmed negative. I was told at a teaching hospital that maybe I'm lucky or we are "discordant couple"
I was expecting her to atleast be remorseful and apologize, but up until now, she is behaving as if nothing happened, instead she is the one giving me all sorts of attitude.
Dear BVs please advice me. What should I do.I don't think I'll be able to stay long in this deceitful marriage,I only pity my sons.I'm afraid for my life.
This woman can kill me through any means.I found out she has a very strong mind after we married, but I don't know it's this bad.
What!!!!!..How can anyone lie about something like this?And she is not remosrseful?Please for the sake of the kids wiegh whatever decion you want to take carefully.
If you cannot live with her anymore because of the lies,it is understandable but please do not cut off your kids....
I am so shocked....how can anyone lie about something like this?
My own question is, what kind of wedding did you people do that you didn’t carry out all the necessary tests beforehand? This is terrible of her to do and should I call you lucky since you are negative. Please ehn getting someone pregnant is not a reason to marry them no matter how much they or external parties force it, don’t do it. You can parent a child without the entanglement of marriage.
ReplyDeleteBack to the issue, please separate yourself from that woman. If she was remorseful or didn’t know until late then it would make sense but this was a calculated plan to deceive you.
I almost lost my breath reading this
DeleteJesus is Lord
How can someone be this wicked and evil,
Nothing is more dangerous than deception .
I almost lost my breath reading this
DeleteJesus is Lord
How can someone be this wicked and evil,
Nothing is more dangerous than deception .
I'm surprised tests weren't carried out
DeleteEven churches these days wouldn't join a couple without test results ,
This is so disheartening thank God you and your sons are alright.
You need some alone time .
I'm surprised tests weren't carried out
DeleteEven churches these days wouldn't join a couple without test results ,
This is so disheartening thank God you and your sons are alright.
You need some alone time .
trad and court dont ask for nothing medical
DeleteVery calculative human being, wickedness! why do some people lie about thier status?
DeleteWe dated three years and did intro(in my place,the intro involves paying part of the bride price) before the pregnancy story in 2015.She was in school then. About the test,I relied on the test she said she did when she claimed she was pregnant (PT,scan, genotype HIV etc)I didn't know some were doctored
DeleteYou must be someone who doesn't pay attention to details, but how in the world do you over look your new born baby being placed on arv?
DeletePlease don't expose her and don't fight her, make her feel at home because she may take a drastic action if she knows her sham is over. Be very caculative, she might use the kids as a weapon against you I.e not let you see them but if she wants to go down that route go to court and you will be awarded full custody(warn her about this).
Tests were carried out from what I read but she faked it all along.
DeleteTo be candid this posters wife can kill
He wrote they only did trad and court. It's only church that conduct test before marriage.
DeleteGuys and ladies, please run HIV tests before you marry, o. I saw a lot when I counseled people living with HIV.Imagine a lady/ guy who is engaged and his/her partner doesn't know their HIV status. I almost wept. And the law doesn't permit the counselors/ medical personnel to divulge that information to the partners. So, all we can do is encourage them, sometimes, beg them to open up to their partners. Poster, you dodged a bullet.You need to bring in her family into this case. If possible, take the highway, mehn.It is wicked and heartless of her.
DeleteOga I greet you sir. You are the real MVP. I was almost shivering reading through until I got to the part where your HIV test results came out negative, frankly speaking, I didn't know when I shouted “THANK YOU JESUS"!
DeleteThis is a very hard decision and it's clear you are a complete, typical family man who is not divorce oriented, otherwise, let her go........if not, pardon my bluntness, but, no one writes chronicles pt2 from graveyard ooo. Na only who dey alive children dey call Daddy!!
Anon 15.39 but you never mentioned paying part of bride price the time you posted this on Nairaland,I dey suspect this your chronicle oo hmmmmmmm
DeleteSo you were having unprotected sex with her while you were dating?
DeleteUna get liver!
Stella I dropped this comment here b4 from a Dr friend, due to confidentiality oat Drs take, they r not allowed to tell either partner there status, he said a lot of married couples r not aware there partners r secretly treating HIV. True story
Deleteanon 18:03 do you expect me to type every details? I only put it on Nairaland bcos it took Stella more 2weeks to post it here.This is not a made up story. It's my story you can choose to believe it or not.
DeleteFirst things first...go and get a DNA test done on both boys!!! A woman who can falsify medical records, can also lie about the paternity of her kids father!! For all you know, the boys aren't yours! For your sake, I hope they aren't. That will make the break easier!
DeleteDoctors are allowed to disclose now ooo
DeleteAnon 9:06 Since when please?
DeleteMy father,my father!!!you say what!!!! ,mehn this woman can kill oh ,hmmmmm,let me wait for comments.
ReplyDeleteEwooooo!!! That woman is a trickster, see all the lies she concocted just to hide her status from you.
DeleteI cannot even advice you to continue staying with that kind of deceitful human being.
She is dangerous.
Deception is a terrible thing. I would advise you to table this issue with your and her family members at a meeting. Cease all sexual contact and decide upon the outcome of the said meeting. But have it in mind that your wife has by herself ended the marriage because whatever decision you take, no one should blame you! It is well with you and the kids.
DeleteI Read this story on nairaland, pls poster forgive her but ensure u teach her a lesson. Maybe take her home to her ppl and let her stay there for a year or two, that would teach her to lie to u. My tots this.
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself if the poster was to be your brother can you advice him this....
DeleteSupposing the poster is a woman now you will hear men are scum,he is heartless, cut him off like cancer.... I will always say this SDK ladies are all hypocrite..
Guys wey dey bring chronicles come here na dem no get sense.
Bringing your problem to a blog full of 90% female bvs what do you expect....
See trash wey this wan talk now
I don't want my family or hers to know.In the village, people will run from her like a plague if they discover her status. The stigma will eventually rub off on me and the kids.
DeleteSince you don't want her or your family to know then live with it. I don't have anything more to say
DeleteI understand your plight and I sympathize with you, though pathetic, @poster.
DeleteThis poster sef no normal..
DeleteDon, I'm normal o.Don't forget that this woman is the mother of my children, any hasty decision will rub off on the kids.I won't turn myself to a monster bcos she wicked.The place I come from, people still believe HIV is a death sentence.I'm even her family will stigmatised if they get to know she is positive.Hope you understand my plight.
DeletePoster,how come you are negative?ThankGod.but pls don't sleep with her again.
DeleteEyah...such a nice man! Even with her sins, his still cares abt her. May God help u heal.
DeleteSeek counselling
The heart of wo#men is deep. This is shocking. No remorse you say.
ReplyDelete@sugarcassie
Today is womens day.lol
Deleteoga pls divorce that woman ASAP. She is the DEVIL. In other countries she can be locked up, she committed a criminal offence not disclosing her her status to you.
didn't ya'll do medical screening before marriage ???
pls leave that marriage and file for custody of your kids. her deceit of her status will count against her in the case.
Lmao bed and Roses😂😂😂
DeleteLmao bed and Roses😂😂😂
DeleteShe should be in prison by now but this is Nigeria we are talking about. You need to be far away from this woman pls.
DeleteWhat a wicked woman!
DeleteWhy shouldn't her people know. They are part of the people who joined you two na! My bro, na who dey alive dey praise God o. Ok! A word is enough for the wise
DeleteBecause her lack of remorse speaks volumes. If AIDS no kill you, she herself go kill you to ensure her secret is buried forever. Tread carefully bro!
DeleteThis is really a faulty foundation. Thank God you have not been infected.
ReplyDeleteI think you need to talk with an elderly person. This is not an internet advice matter. Because two children are involved...you need serious wisdom.
If it was to be a woman that sends that chronicle would you say she needs serious wisdom.
DeleteI talk am say hypocrite full here
Una no even fit fall my hand
He needs wisdom to handle it because that woman can do terrible things to the children...she can even poison him before he says 'jack'...she can so change the narrative.
DeleteHe needs to separate from her with wisdom simple...There are children involved.
You that is not hypocrite give your own advice. Mr Anon leave me this afternoon ooo.
Oh my God!!! What’s this?
ReplyDeletePoster, this is what you should do.
You both need to get separated. She is a wicked man and does not deserve you or anything good in this life.
Move out of the house. Please don’t ever neglect your children cos they are innocent.
Check on them from time to time and do what you are supposed to do as a father.
Your wife is very manipulative and would do everything to patronize you.
Do not fall for it.
You are in deep shit, get the hell out of there. You deserve more than this.
Don’t agree to any form of settlement with her.
They need to be separated ASAP while seeking counselling
DeleteCos he sure needs counselling This is crazy , how can someone be this evil chale !!!!
This is beyond terrible..
DeleteNa wa o, wickedness at its peak. You need to get faraway from that woman, she is evil. Divorce her as soon as possible, do not let your Kids stay with her o, she is capable of infecting them.
ReplyDeleteOP, you posted this story on Nairaland last week. It is truly a very sad story. My advise to you is to leave her bc she sounds so vindictive, she will look for ways to infect you so you will not leave her.
ReplyDeleteJesus!!!! People be making this marriage thing be so so so scary!!! How can you hide something so grave from a spouse!!! OMG!! So so speechless!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAs in Ehn.
DeleteTBH Dis woman is deadly and sure can kill you.
ReplyDeleteSo, if not that you are discordant, that's how she would have given you the virus and lie against you that you infected her?
Her wickedness and deception carry A1.
This matter require a family meeting of both parties. Report her where necessary.
The foundation was base on lies
The worst part is, she is not remorseful.
Cry out oooy brother. Cos you don't know her next move.
Congrats on your status (Cos 5 years without the antiretroviral, you would have died now and she will move on to the next victim)
She is taking her antiretroviral medicine so her viral load is very low, plus you are lucky.
ReplyDeleteHowever her plan was that you will contract the virus and the you guys will be in it together and you will have no option but to stay not knowing who infected who because she will not confess, it's a well thought out premeditated plan and in a foreign country she will go to jail for non disclosure.
I do not discriminate against HIV+ individuals, i have a very close relative who has the virus she has found Jesus and is at peace with her self, that is the best thing anyone can do in such a situation and you will be amazed what God will do.
My advice to you will be to seat her down no fighting no arguing and lay down your cards on the table tell her exactly how you feel.
For the sake of your two lovely boys consider therapy and save your marriage this is my opinion it is entirely up to you.
You were saying something sensible and you ended up with save your marriage,you people won't stop to amaze me my God.
DeleteCan you give that advice to one of your relative if he was in that position or even if the poster is a lady can you say that to save her marriage.
Men we don suffer ooooooo.
Someone did something as terrible as that and you are saying save your marriage.
For the sake of your sanity, leave the marriage with your boys offcourse. You will not get over all that happened staying with that witch of a wife.goodluck
DeleteHeheheh. Namsense
DeleteSave which marriage?
DeleteWhy are some women so heartless.... May God save our son's from evil women and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteMen are scum abi?
ReplyDeleteLoud it brother ooooooo
DeleteCos for Nigeria social media na SDK ladies say this nonsense pass any small thing men are scum.....oya make una answer now ......men are scum abi?
This was posted so many days back in Nairaland. OP give credit or you are the same person whic I doubt, or the story is entirely fake. Make una no turn this Blog to Joro, dey una dey feed Stella with real chronicles, so we can advice real time. S to the T I beg post.
ReplyDeleteThis is so serious.... A woman who did this could be dangerous and diabolic. I am happy you came out negative in the test. I doubt you will ever trust her again or find happiness with her but please don't abandon the kids. You can also still forgive her and treat her right but cut everything to do with raw sex with her.
ReplyDeleteThe decision to continue living with her lies solely in your hand.
Lastly, just like Mother Teresa would say, "Don't treat people as the bad they are, but treat them as the good you are."
"Don't treat people as the bad they are, but treat them as the good you are." YIMU
DeleteHahahaha una no go leave TJ alone. Stop coming to attack him. He has told you people to jump and pass his comments
DeleteDude, nobody "pressured you into marriage". Yes, the woman is wrong to have hidden all these. But you think about yourself alone, how about God -how does he feel about this???
ReplyDeleteWhen God said sex should be in marriage, you went to visit her in her school and "forked", did anybody
pressure you into stealing fork?
Fornication is a sin and you willingly jumped into it. Yes, let the arrows land for a man has written and I am addressing the writer.
So there wouldn't have been an issue with "trapping you with pregnancy or faking pregnancy". She trapped you, ibu oke -you be rat? 😯😯
Anybody who understands my friends Naija girls like I do, knows that
they can do anything including suffocating 👶👶👶 to get married, travel abroad, or acquire an ATM man.
In the process of making it with her tohtoh, she ended up with one of the occupational hazards of school runs -HIV. She had to get married fast even if it means lying and shedding crocodile tears to make it.
The choice of what to do is yours nnaa. This is just one of the hazards of stealing fork. The eternal hazard is hell and all should bear that in mind. 💀
Oh please ANG 🙄
DeleteSome people have married into deceit even without fornicating.
Some, even after stealing fork are doing very okay. It’s the grace of God that covers us all.
Stolen fork or not, she had no right to conceal her status.
So spare me the hazards of stolen forks .
Inukwa occupational hazard
Delete@Sluttychikito
DeleteDid I tell you that the woman did well?
Let me paste what I wrote there again, first line, second sentence:
Yes, the woman is wrong to have hidden all these.
did you see that?
All of you are seeing this from very selfish, human emotional perspective.
It pays to wait to be married to have sex. God can never be wrong.
The marriage was rushed because he fornicated and was fooled by pregnancy according to him.
He fooled himself first by gratifying the flesh against the laws of God the creator.
Those you term as "doing okay" are based on what you see; children, cars, houses, isn't it?
These are not what makes a marriage or a person's life "okay" before God.
For a person's life does not consist in the abundance of the person's possessions.
This poster has all those probably. Even two boys...
A lot of women/men are still hiding their hiv statuses and they are doing "okay"
And you know what, they also have SVD inugo 😯😯
ANG You are a fanatic...U need to work on your brain...
Delete@Bitch
DeleteIf someone who tells people that sex before marriage, shooting off and suffocation of babies,
dragging in any man on the corridors and forking, snatching horsebands are sins before God is
your definition of fanaticism then I am unapologetically the chief fanatic.
For the preaching of the ➕➕➕ of Christ is an offense.
If you were God @Ang, we will all be consumed, people like you make others hate Christianity with a passion
Delete...pheeew
Somebody is sick with this comment above.
DeleteHello ANG, there is no need for too much preaching. The deed has been done. The man just needs help or advice not preaching when water don pass garri!!! It is well o
DeleteThe usual lines I used to read is that ANG does not attack men. What really does this generation want? She said that what the lady did was wrong but pointed the man's fault to him too. All of you want pastors who will tell u about the god that only blesses peple and not the one that said that it is better to go into life with one hand than with two hands into the hell whose fire does not quench.
DeleteAs in ehn, very sick generation... God is Love but he is also a consuming fire... do not be deceived!... preach on @ ANG!
DeleteSome women will do something that even the devil will marvel at. How can you hide a whole life threathning disease for your husband? Who does that? If you are my Brother i won't advice you to continue this marriage not because she is a carrier but because she is hearthless not to inform you about her status... Nawaoooo!
ReplyDeleteKweke!
ReplyDeleteStella, how can he live with her after finding out such scam.
This is one is wife from hell.
Hmm you are a warri person..
DeleteEwooo Chukwunna.
ReplyDelete*hang mouth open, somebody pls tell me to close my mouth. This is not just wickedness but witchcraft,so people with dis kind of heart really exit?I am sorry poster but dat wife of yours can kill and not be remorseful. Infact I don't even know what to say again.
ReplyDeleteOya close your mouth..Wonders never end..
Delete😱😱😱😲😲😲
ReplyDeleteSee this secrecy surrounding not telling spouses if their better half is positive or not is just wickedness and I can't comprehend the thinking behind it. Can you just imagine?!
Do whatever you want with her but hold your boys close is all I can say because your marriage was founded on the wrong foundation of lies and secrecy and deception and to crown it all she's not even remorseful. If she is, then one can say that she's repentant and trying to mend the trust that was broken can be worked on.
I am a doctor and it’s actually a very painful thing when u meet such lying spouse but the fear of litigation is the beginning of wisdom. shebi na this same naija wan kill a nurse for showing a picture of how +ve patients look healthy even though she cut of their faces in this pictures? As long as our law remains as it is, we can only watch those lying spouses and do absolutely nothing and pray ur partner is not hiding a serious condition
DeleteAs long as we are on this side of eternity, it is not too late, if you submit to God, if you give your life to Jesus, he will give you a new life and
ReplyDeleterepair your marriage.
Remember that two innocent kids are involved here. 🌹🌹
Nonsense.
DeleteI must add that youre an amazing man for not throwing her out or exposing her to people. You understand shes the mother of your kids and your wife you will invariably be throwing your self under the bus if you did that.
ReplyDeleteThat her attitude is a wall she's putting up. There is alot of brokenness behind that wall for her to be that hardened.
Please try to get to the bottom of everything, she has to say the whole truth with evidence then you guys can heal from there or go your separate ways.
If you decide to stay together please put Jesus at the centre of your home their is nothing he can not do!
Get the fuck off with your holy holy advice. Will you give the same advice if it's your brother. Poster don't listen to all these goody two shoes, send her out or walk away from her without looking back.
DeleteJesus wasn't the foundation of this situationship. Actually, there are things He cannot and will not do; helping anyone make a mockery of marriage is one of them. Stop trying to use Him to do a patch job on what He never ordained.
DeleteOA
I think d best thing to do is to confront her, let her know how hurt u are by her lies...of coarse,u have every right to be angry, BT since u n ur boys don't have it,pls,don't leave her now,the kids need her more now.God is on ur side.
ReplyDeleteImagine nonsense dont leave her now...I'm not surprise though because it shows you are a lady.
Delete15:19
DeleteIs that the advice you'd give your brother?
Anon 15:19, you are a terrible person. If roles were reversed, would you spew that nonsense?
DeleteAwon were... Dem don come with their stupid advice.
DeleteYour wife has mastered the art of controlling Pinocchio effect and lying under your nose.
ReplyDeleteThat marriage was build on the bedrock of lies and deceit, it should be annulled, with a positive mind, while youre still negative.
That reminds me, a lady once commented on this blog, saying shes been keep her HIV status from her husband and gulping her NRTIs daily, but no one should judge her cus she cant afford to lose her family if the truth gets out... i guess thats your wife.
Built*
DeleteKeeping*
She believes you can't leave her even finding it out she is HIV positive,for her not to show remorse over something as terrible as that then she is a very bad human being.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I see some chronicles and I don't understand why they are being sent... My dear brother you know the best thing to do.yes that thing you are thinking is the best.
You don't even need to come here to ask for advice....
Bitter woman... Some ladies here will still support this woman now,you will hear them saying Mr man there is something you are hiding too for her to treat you that way...SDK ladies no dey ever disappoint they will still stand with your wife for what she did...just be careful picking advice here....once again you know what to do.
He knows what to do. He is just scared to do it. The man has a soft heart and his wife knows
DeleteVery true Chikito. the same soft heart that led him to marry HIV+.
Deletethis your wife did something terrible, i know she is afraid that you will not marry her if she tells you about it. Thank God you are so lucky that you didn't contact it.
ReplyDeletePlease do not continue this marriage not because she has HIV but because she lied to you, kept such secret from you, pretend and making you look stupid. Walk away for your safety cos oneday she way do something terrible to harm you since you know of her status.
Your kids are not the cause of the danmage, do not reject them, keep your child anf thank God she didn't infect any of you. She get mind.
I can never neglect the kids,God forbid.Those kids means alot to me.I Love them dearly.
DeletePoster if you are so soft to send her away ,just make sure you stop intimacy with that deceitful wife of yours.stop sex Biko poster, let kongi kill her there,wicked woman!
DeleteOmg that woman is devil's sister. Brother she can kill you. For now no sleeping with her. Also watch what she gives to you
ReplyDeleteFinally divorce her. Let your people know what she has done. They are in the best position to tell you what to do.
My own be careful ooo before you eat poison
Sleeping with her ke.She just gave birth through CS a month ago.
DeleteIf I tell my people or tell her own people, the whole community will know, and I don't want to shame her.
Use style time steal ur kids and elope!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou no think like woman today.... Thank you
DeleteYou think its that easy to elope? Maybe he should elope with the company he works with
Delete@ Poster take @ Tenth advice
DeleteSorry for your plight.
ReplyDeleteShe's not remorseful abi? After all she did? That woman can kill. Her heart is deep. Damn! Poster, be EXTRA careful with her o. Call a family meeting and don't keep quiet about this. The hospital she connived with should be sued. They too can kill.
ReplyDeleteThis is so despicable
ReplyDeleteThis is totally bad. Your wife didn't do well at all and to crown it up, she's not remorseful. Please for the sake of Christ and your cute boys, call her to order immediately, let her know how you feel and please do not tell anyone in your family about it, otherwise the stigma will rub off on your kids even though they are negative... And please note, never take a decision when you're angry, reflect on other positive characters she possess, no one is perfect, but she didn't do well either. You both can still live a happy life, so long as she's taking her medication.
ReplyDeleteNonsense advice. Would you have said this if table turn?
DeleteThis isnt a marriage.
ReplyDeleteHmnn, this is heavy...I think at this stage family members should be involved. You need to get out while you are alive and well because such woman can kill.. Involving your family members is for your own protection..
ReplyDeleteLeave him. He is till reporting here instead of telling us how he has called family meeting. Criminal minded wife!
DeleteWhat?
ReplyDeleteSome women could be so wicked and heartless.
Poster please forgive her for the sake of your kids then end the marriage. This is no marriage ai swear.
This is so sad.
Forgive what?
DeleteAbeg poster, I beg u in the name of God. If u want to stay Ali e for your kids leave that woman. Are u even sure the kids are it's? Go and do DNA test o. I am sure she didn't breastfeed her babies. If she can't be open to her husband then she can do anything. What a mind! Gosh! U did not get the virus because her viral load is not traceable . If she wants to deal with you now she can stop taking her drugs and infect u. U are so lucky. God saved u because of ur clean mind. HIV isn't a death sentence but if she could hide it then she can do anything. Better run for your life
ReplyDeleteMy ex-husband hid the fact that he is mentally ill. I ran away with my baby. Elope with your children and divorce.
ReplyDeleteThem no de hide that one oh.
DeleteIn my humble experience, a memtally challenged person assumes he/she is very sane & wise.
You know mental illness can be hereditary. Is that how you will run from your child too if he/she inherit the gene?
DeleteYaba, it can be hidden. There are different kinds of mental illness. My soon-to-be ex-husband has one. His brother has full-blown madness. I don’t know why I married him.
DeleteChoi!!! 🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆
ReplyDeleteDevil they learn work for where your wife dey!!!
Forgive fire! Bia poster zip up & leave asap. Thank God you & your kids are not positive. This kind of woman can kill you anytime anyday.
ReplyDeleteMistake has been made,you will be alright. Just make a good arrangement that will enable a fair condition for you both parents to have assess to your kids.
No need advising you to continue in this deceitful union cos it won't end well.
She thought she played smart.
Poster please, do not fight her. I repeat, do not fight her.
ReplyDeleteMake sure you call a family meeting on her head.
She is very very dangerous and can decide to poison your food or even infect you and the kids.
Your kids lives are in danger and your life too. Don't risk fighting her for any reason.
The heart of man/woman is desperately wicked and full of evil.
Just so you know, you are no longer in a marriage with that woman. She is on a revenge mission, she targeted you after contracting the disease, but you were discordant (you're one lucky man)
I would also advise you to find a way to take your kids out of that environment.
I would have advised you report her to the law enforcement officials (that is your decision to take)because in this part of the world, this is a criminal offence and it attracts jail terms.
Some people are just so wicked...
The heart of human is definitely wicked 😱😵😓
ReplyDeleteNow everyone has turned to saint. Was it her we read about a woman who's HIV positive and she's breast feeding her child? saying that her husband doesn't know you bvs yes! you bvs were advising her that since she's on drugs she should continue! now what's the double standard?
ReplyDeleteFor him to be negative that means she's she faithful to her drugs and she really doesn't want you to get infected . She's doing defence mechanism she's hurt but if she shows it you will label her a weakling and you will taunt her. It is well. You took vows stick with the vows.She didn't purposely infect herself.
ReplyDeleteSMH 🤦♀️
DeleteThis story get as e be. They gave ur new born son a medicine and u didn’t do anything when u found out it’s an ARV. Hian oga poster this ur story get as e be.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine your stupidity 16:05....Jesus Christ of Nazareth if he was your brother will you say your story get as e be.
DeleteI talk am say evil ladies full SDK blog una fit put person for depression... Foolish idiot must you comment
Exactly! He didnt demand explanation or second opinion from the doctor??
DeleteNa all these mumu men wey dey fall yakata for love. Pele oh
This is really messy.
ReplyDeleteMy Inlaw is a consultant and has his private hospital, and we hear stories like this everyday, and he instructed not to tell the husband. Funny enough when he request for the husband to do the tests, they are negative
ReplyDeleteBut i thought churches now do this test before they couples are wedded, or you guys did just T.m and court?
Take heart, i know it painful
I am not surprised at some of the comments here. Some of you are biased with your comments.
ReplyDeleteWould y’all say same thing if it happened to your sibling?
If it was a woman that brought this chronicle, most of you would have bashed the man terribly. But it’s a man, what do you expect?
Na only you get sense for here and some people.
DeleteNa the guy I blame wey carry issue come blog where 90% of ladies are sentimental
They can never say this if the table was to turn.
You will be hearing get out of that marriage the man is a fool,dont even involve his family they will know about it,take your kids and run.
Thats all what they will be saying.
Don't mind the bias bitches and mofos e it's not coming from a woman, the story will surely change and they play down the issue like its nothing.
DeleteDouble standard and evil people
LEAVE the marriage...that’s all
ReplyDeleteI perch here
DeleteOn Saturday, I commented on one of the posts asking men to be as prayerful as women when finding life partners because a lot of women are deceitful and can do and undo, until they enter the house. They target good calm men and play the cards well until they get the ring.
Men like this poster will be running away from extroverted women thinking that the one that is crying is the one that loves them and will make a good wife. You dont know you are being tricked. Poster you married an selfish woman who has NO LOVE for you.
And you sef, you are so naive. No test before marriage? But I dont blame you for trusting. I blame the person who broke your trust. Alot of you single men, be very prayerful when getting married. Stop feeling smart, stop having sex, fast and ask God to guide you to your wife. Such actions before marriage aren't peculiar to women, as you people think. Some of you are walking into hell-holes and don't know. I've said my own oh
Poster, you can divorce her under the ground of deceit. But you know what? She will pretend to be remorseful when you want to take action. She will cry and kneel and beg and your heart will be softened and you ain't going nowhere. Simple.
Poster, end that marriage. don't listen to any one that will tell you to accept her back.
ReplyDeletePoster please leave that marriage. She's deceitful and wicked. She is ready to infect you with HIV so far her goal is attained. You should be afraid! Don't say or do anymore. Get a divorce lawyer and end the sham of a marriage. So she faked a pregnancy so you could marry her? Really? She's sick! If I were you poster, I would RUN! If physicians are telling you, you are lucky then you should be worried.
ReplyDeleteIf I'm in your shoes I won't confront her. I will just exercise patience for the last child to get to like 6months.i will run away with my kids to an undisclosed location.
ReplyDeleteThat woman is evil.
So far, I have been calm and supportive. If i show any sign of anger towards her now, she may come up with another plan, and I may not be lucky the 2nd time.
DeleteHmmmm this man Na WA for you o. The woman don turn you to her mumu o.
DeleteFear no let you leave her or even vex for her .
This happened at my lab center last Thursday, a lady and her fiance came for hiv test, genotype and blood group, the guy insisted they got the hiv result asap, then, they would come back later for the rest.
ReplyDeleteWhen I drew blood from the both of them, and went upstairs for sampling, I noticed the lady was restless and her eyes were dull. As soon as I came out of the lab, she asked if I can show her the bathroom, although we have staffs for such tasks, but I obliged her. While trying to give her directions, she said aunty nurse pls come and show me yourself.
On getting there, she knelt down and begged me not to tell, I told her that I don't understand, and she said aunty I'm hiv positive, pls no tell my oga, I was shook, I asked her, if she's been tested before and she said yes.
Hmmm, I told her I have never played such a role in my entire 20 something life, and I can't start now, God I felt pity for her, I asked her if she's been taking anti-retroviral, she said, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, that she was praying.
I jejely told, aunty I can't do your bidding, you have to come out clean, I offered to take them to a counselor, to help them, but she refused.
Then I asked her to talk with my MD, that will be his decisions to make, not mine, I can't say more, so yes a lot of women are bent on hiding their status, you men have to be careful.
so what happened?did you help her to lie or you told the man?
DeleteNo Stella, I couldn't tell him myself, her case is even so complicated, her viral load was so low, due to inconsistencies, and unfortunately the guy tested positive too.
DeleteMy MD had to call them both to announce it himself, the guy collapsed and was weeping like a baby, last Thursday was like the worst day at work, coz we were consoling the guy, and she kept begging that she never meant to infect him.
Infact while they were crying, I cried along, immediately she went into an epileptic fits, and pooed and urinated on herself, Ma'am Stella, it's a complicated case. A very beautiful lady o, hmmm I felt so sorry for them.
The guy was threatening to kill them both, that he couldn't live for another day, MD had to calm him down, the guys tears still ring in my ears, I will never forget Thursday.
Chai, wicked world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteWhen I divorce the fool I’m living with, I won’t marry again.
Getting married is risky!!!!!!!
Wow! Seizures in HIV. OMG.... what a sad tale
DeleteOMG! She infected him too? How can she say she didn't mean to do so if she knew she was HIV+ and was probably having unprotected sex with him?
DeleteOA
Nigerian men. Tufiakwa. Oga Chronicler, how can your wife have HIV this whole time and you're just finding out? And you call yourself a husband? Tueh.
ReplyDeleteYoure a fool.
DeleteYou just spoke like one
Oga Rambo. I don't know that been a husband mean I should automatically become an FBI agent sir.No vex sir
DeleteWhat is the point of sarcasm if I have to o point it out?
DeleteRambo, go and learn how to be sarcastic.... thats not it
DeletePoster, l feel so bad for what you have been going through. If, l were you, l would end the marriage ASAP.
ReplyDeleteBut, please take your kids and be their sole guardian. I say this because l am not sure if that crazy woman will not try to harm the kids to get back at you. Make her understand you will not expose her status to anyone. You both should reach an agreement on what to tell both families but not her status. If she’s smart and knowing what she’s done, she should accept your offer, leave the kids and walk. Also let her know you will be there to give her a helping hand , for the sake of the kids.
I wish you good luck.
Saw this same chronicle on Nairaland some days back,poster you never get the advice ni.
ReplyDeleteSad story. Your wife is very wicked sir. I know of a couple in my church, the wife is + while the husband is -. They never engaged in premarital sex, so it was at the point of the mandatory medical tests by the church that the wife'so status was discovered. The man still went ahead with the wedding and they have two boys and a girl married for 11 years. I hate liars, poster could have still married her if she was truthful and even if he walked away, nothing stops her from getting a better man, but to deceive someone this way. To live with a man, eat with him, sleep with him, have children with him and keep something of this magnitude for over 5 years. You might want to consider running for your dear life sir, I'm not saying you should divorce her or stay with her but I fear the other things she might be capable of.
ReplyDeletethe first person I called when I found out I was positive was my fiance, now hubby, cos I never believed it, and I thought with the closeness, he might be positive too, so I wasn't thinking about myself only, I want him to test himself too, we share everything together, even toothbrush, guess what 10 years later, he's still negative, my kids are negative, I'm undetectable, we hardly use condom, he loves, but I was faithful with it, I told him, and now I'm the one scared on his behalf, he doesn't care, but I made sure I stopped using sharp objects with him, but that condom, I don beg tire, oga say him no fit use condom with his wife, I'm the 2nd and the last lady he ever dated or have sex with, he loves me like crazy, infact I control the family, and I don't work, poster, it depends on you, if you love her and can cope, but honestly your wife no try
ReplyDeleteAnon, do you think his wife is similar to that character description in your case. That said, poster pls don't have sex with this women anymore in this life if you must remain married to her as you seem like the soft type. You need peace And love, you married wrongly. Be safe dear poster. In my opinion, I wish you walk away- I have a feeling you are not safe now the truth is out.
DeleteWow
DeleteDrop that bitch like a bad habit.
ReplyDeleteLeave her to her miserable life.
On behalf of this your wife, I apologise for the women race. This is horrible!!!!
ReplyDeleteBefore you think of ending any marriage, weigh the pros and cons very well.
ReplyDeleteShe made a big mistake and I know she is sorry for it, the whole not showing remorse is most likely a defense mechanism.
To err is human, I agree she was deceptive from the beginning but what are the circumstances behind the status.
She would have infected you if she didn't love you so something is missing somewhere. Please find out the missing piece and if not satisfied, agree on the terms of separation/divorce.
And to those who kept secrets as grievous as this or even more, there is still the chance to open up because as you can see, him/her finding out by themselves is much worse
I'm a health practitioner and HIV case like this is not rare, people hide their status from their partners and it's really sad. Please before going ahead with marriage plans, make sure you have done the necessary tests in at least two reputable laboratories. Make these lab sessions a surprise like the proposals we see around, just drive in from the eatery or spar you both went to and do the test without any prior knowledge of the significant other. Be sure to apologize genuinely later,better safe than sorry.
ReplyDeleteBe safe ladies and gentlemen.
I don't know what to say but all the same, your wife did a wrong thing by not letting you know her status. HIV+ is not a dead sentence but then you don't have to hide it from your partner.
ReplyDelete@Poster, don't take any rash decision now so you won't do something that will affect your children later in life. I am so happy that you and the kids are negative. Thank God for that!
Sit your wife down and iron out things with her. It's possible that she didn't tell you because of fear. Above it all, let Jesus be at the centre of it all.
I wish you the very best in life.
WOW! This is not good at all.
ReplyDeletePoster I don't see how you two have been married for close to five years with an active sexual life and yet you're still negative. I advise you two go to a different hospital, possibly outside Lagos so you can get a confirmatory test done. Sometimes these things may be errors due to using expired products or problems with collection/identification of samples. False positives could occur for a number of reasons. If the tests still shows she's positive, quietly take her back to her people. No need to make a fuss or publicly disgrace her. Pregnancy aside, she's your wife and you chose to marry her for whatever reason best known to you. These signs never hid themselves but rather you chose to ignore them and forget ahead with the marriage. In the same way, if her test still comes out positive and yours negative, give thanks to God and quietly hand her over to her people explaining your predicament to them. If she has refused to talk to you then she will have to talk to her parents.
ReplyDeleteGreat advice!
DeleteExtremely Wicked, shockingly Evil and Vile
ReplyDeleteI don't know if anyone will see this cos there's already 100+ comments. Stella, please post this.
ReplyDeleteFor everyone that wants to bite medical professionals, it's not their fault. Medical practice is not blogging or selling on Instagram where you will just be called out and it will end after trending for a few days. It's not selling pepper in the market where the worst you will do is not buy from them again. Some of you don't understand but it's really simple - they're just not ALLOWED to tell you anything even if your spouse has HIV, epilepsy and bronchitis at the same time and lied to you. Nobody wants to lose their license or go to jail cos they're trying to help someone. There are only two ways I know around this (medical professionals, feel free to chip in):
1) If the person you're with has a disease that poses a risk to public health and safety (like Ebola, some kind of biochemical infection, the plague, they inhaled anthrax, etc) - you will have no choice but to know because the medical facility has to report it to a unified body above them. Like the CDC or whatever the equivalent or relevant body is. And even if you are slow, you'll know when public officials arrive that something is up. But you will still not have a right to specific details on a case where you are not the patient.
2) You can take HIV test together/at the same time and insist on being seen together. A medical professional has a duty to care to their patient/client, which you become the moment you take that test alongside your significant other. The doctor, hospital or lab are now obligated to protect you and act in your best interests, which wasn't the case when your fiance/fiancee/husband/wife was their only patient/client. Please, ensure you collect your results at the same time. Conflict of interest (because they still have to "protect and act in the best interests of the other party" and this is open to interpretation) and confidentiality could still be an issue - which is why I'm saying insist on being seen together to "discuss your results". A person who already knows they're HIV+ or is hiding something else is going to refuse or get angry. They're not sure what the person who speaks to you both, will say. At this point, you should have sense. Some people are hardened so will see the counsellor or MD with you. An MD who hasn't been bribed and isn't insane, will not sit there and lie to you when they see a threat to you right beside you. Yes, they still have a duty of care to the other person meaning some might not be able to say it outright for whatever reason, so listen to what the MD or counsellor is NOT saying. If they do NOT say anything to the effect of BOTH of you having a clean bill of health, it's because there is a serious problem. If they're offering you condoms when you have given them the impression that you're in an exclusive sexual relationship with the person beside you, alarm bells should be going off in your mind. Doctors and sexual health counsellors do NOT advise engaged or married couples in an exclusive sexual relationship, who say they want to have children together, to use condoms (of all things). If you're hearing anything like this, put two and two together and arrive at 500. There's something they're trying to protect you from that they feel/are unable to say. You've been given information and no breach (either of duty of care to you, or of confidentiality to the person beside you) has been committed. And nobody is at risk of getting sued or losing their license.
You're welcome.
Cunny man die, cunnier man bury am.
OA
Poster, you were played from the start by a woman who studied you and predicted you would do this very thing you're doing now. She knew that your love for her or even just the ideology about marriage wouldn't let you do the right thing for yourself.
ReplyDeletePlease, have DNA testing done on your sons. Don't tell me your sons look like you. You might be seeing what you want to see. To some people, I look like my father, to some other people, I'm my mother's carbon copy. DNA test first, please. If you can't take the children to a test centre, take their combs (one for each child) that have their hair on it. Make sure they're not contaminated with fibres from anywhere else.
If the story you've written is true (and I don't see anything to indicate it's not), the person you call a wife is a psychopath. She will kill you and nobody will know. She has probably already started putting something in your food in small amounts that won't be detected or traced back to her. Contrary to what the media would have you believe, not all women stab. This one that is playing a long game isn't one you're equipped to survive if you keep her around. If you're allergic to anything, watch out for it.
I'm sorry to break this to you but you don't have a marriage. Did the registrar not ask if either of you know of any impediment that would prevent you from getting married? Refusal to reveal an impediment is deceit and nullifies the marriage. What you actually need is an annulment, not a divorce cos you were never married.
I don't know where you and she are from so I don't know how marriages are done or dissolved there. Where I'm from, na one time dem dey pay brideprice. I don't understand this half and half business you mentioned up there. So, you'll need your family elders (who should have been told about this) to advise you. She probably wasn't pregnant the first time she said; it's more likely that that's when she discovered she was HIV+. And she targeted you. If you hadn't been sleeping with her, you wouldn't have had any reason to believe her pregnancy tales.
You know deep down what you have to do about this situationship that God and the law don't recognise as a marriage. People think that they're married cos they're pronounced man and wife. But a lot more is required.
BTW, the longer you stay with her, the more danger you are in. She's obviously not an illiterate and Stella's blog is public. Some BVs have said you posted it on Nairaland and you said you contacted Stella, two weeks ago. So your story has been out there for at least a week? How sure are you that she hasn't found out? Cos she's not saying anything? Let me remind you that she's been quiet for five years and actively tried to murder you all that time. But for some reason, you have convinced yourself that you're dealing with a sane and rational human being who should be treated gently. You don't understand yet that you're fighting for your life. So, you're taking a lot for granted and being careless. It was one thing when you didn't know. God probably covered you for whatever reason - despite your part in entering this warped arrangement on a faulty foundation & all the signals you kept missing. Cos there really is no other explanation for why you're HIV-. You're a living, breathing miracle that's actually decided to test God and the devil at the same time. I'm inclined to suspect juju is also being used on you cos I can't say whether this is bravery or recklessness. Let this week not pass without you doing the DNA tests AND going to see your family elders, oh!
OA
OA I raised my hands up to your comment! Wordddddd! A million likes to your comment. You nailed it all the way! As in, you’ve literally spoken the truth. This is not ordinary eyes. Poster seems so so mumu. See his daft responses when reading through the comments. Dude does not love himself or his life and absolutely does not love his kids. Because if he does love his kids, he’ll do anything to stay alive for them! Poster hope this is not juju like OA mentioned. You need something strong (deliverance, prayer, getting a professional counselor, etc) to wake you up as you’re too too mumu. Good luck!
DeleteAnon 06:46, as the king Solomon that you are, how will it sound to you if I abandon someone that just had a baby through CS a month ago? Before you call me names, have it in mind that I'm human, and I can't turn myself to an animal bcos of the wickedness of this woman, she is still and forever remain the mother of my children.Some sensible people have advised me here without any insult,so just park well.
DeleteOA,God bless you sir/ma
Im anon 06:46. I’m not trying to insult you poster. I spoke due to emotions running through my body. I completely understand she just gave birth and I’m not saying bounce immediately. You’ve got to plan this thoroughly and involve folks. Separation is allowed in marriage. So figure something out man.
Deleteshe was wrong and being deceitful for not telling you , when I discovered I had herpes I could not believe it, this was a guy I was committed to and never had the incline that he could be so deceitful till today he denies it but like you all the other episodes make sense now,. I forgave him but I have not dated since then and WILL be telling any future partners,youtube has a lot of content to help, your immune system is strong and she has been taking her meds too hence why you have not caught it. its not a death sentence, if you have the will and she is remorseful forgive her or move on but this can happen to anyone regardless of how intelligent you think you are or try to protect yourself, if you leave and decide to remarry or date who is to say your partner wont cheat and give your something else ?. it is well... yours knew and should have disclosed most of you women commenting here probably have HSV,herpes etc but just don't know yet as they don't have symptom and some people will never even know they are carrying it until a test is done. I would say pray about it, research videos or stories of couples in the same predicament and find peace with whatever decision you take.
ReplyDeleteMadam, not knowing is one thing. Knowing, concealing it and trying diligently to harm another person is another. In saner climes, people go to jail for this. Does the woman the poster described, sound remorseful to you? Some of you and your definitions of "forgiveness" na wa. So, he should stay with someone who is trying to kill him cos he's not sure what a future partner will do; why didn't you stay with the person who infected you? What if your future partners cheat and give you something worse; afteralla your own is just herpes and better the devil you know. Since we all want to act like we don't know right from wrong.
Delete