Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Working Mother Versus Stay At Home Mother...

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Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Working Mother Versus Stay At Home Mother...


69 comments:

  1. I don't agree on both lists.. Both working mothers and stay at home mothers are heroes.. It depends on how you manage your time, skills and innovations...

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    1. I upvote. Couldn't 've said it better.

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    2. Please tell them...

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    3. the farm animal that came up with this list does not know what it means to be a mother. most stay at home mothers are more exhausted and underappreciated. women who work are very valuable to their families, have personal fulfillment and are a good example to their kids, especially daughters. I would never want my daughter to see me wasting away on the couch in the name of home maker. at least start a business baking cakes or a blog or something. Stella if you like swallow this comment as usual.

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    4. Some people don’t have anything better to do than draw charts. Nice hand writing though.

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    5. At the end fulfillment matters. Happiness Bea. If working mks u more fulfilled, Work. If u r comfortable with home. Stay. Just Mk sure on ur last days on Earth, u don’t regret this or that if u had d time to reflect

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    6. Who wrote this nonsense? I've been in both shoes and I will tell you it's a big lie, they are both exhausting. I live in the abroad and I will tell you my life was falling apart so I decided to go back to work. I give it to stay at home mums especially, no be joke at all especially when you still have a younger child with you at home. E no easy at all.
      I went back to work because I needed adult conversation, I cannot come and kill myself. As you are cleaning, washing, tidying, cooking: I can go on and on and kpim it's 2:45pm and you have to do school runs again. Haaaaaaa 😒.
      Now I've decided to do part time and it's good I can work from home 2 days because to be sincere these children need us in as much as Ive been very lucky to have good minders.
      I am proud I'm not working full time because of my children because it worths it. Let my husband be doing 9-5pm, I am happy.
      When the time is right, il go back to full time work. Not my priority at the moment.

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    7. Your are a "Nailer"

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  2. Nawa ooh.. Do people still have this stone age mentality of demonizing the working class mom?
    I am appalled by the writer's low IQ.

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    1. The mother's that work and still do all these things without help are the real MVP.

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    2. @ Anonymous 12:53

      Please what do you mean by "without help"?

      Everybody needs help at some point or the other. Don't kill yourself trying to prove a point.

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  3. This is hard o...
    As much as stay at mom looks good,they might not respect or value all her efforts... And she will not have a life of her own.

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    1. Immediately I saw the "teaches about Jesus all day long", i knew from the myopic kind of person this write up would come from.
      She forgot to add frustration, being broke, fat, being a burden to her husband, envious and lack of self actualization for most stay home mums. She just exaggerated the shortfall of working mum's.

      Every woman should work! Find a balance and be the woman your children will be proud of in the future instead of a woman who has sacrificed so much of herself that she becomes burnt out and empty when she wakes up one day and realizes she has not lived yet treated with tolerance by those same children. She 'll become bitter and ill-attached to her children becoming a terrible mother in Law because motherhood was her sole project.

      Remember there is no law that your children must take care of you in old age. There is such law. It's better when you work in your youth and prepare for old age while at the same time giving your children good parenting. Find a balance.

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    2. Thanks for this response, it fits into my imagination of what the person that made that list looks like. everything about the list screams of frustration from a depressed house wife.

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    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ @ sapphire. That teaching about Jesus really irked me 🀣.

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  4. I can never be a stay at home mom for my sanity sake

    With the right schedule and arrangement you can actually work and spend time with the family

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    1. A 'housewife' is a job on its own. She is the cook, the dry cleaner, the nanny, the tutor, the errand man etc...

      If she gets paid like every other working-class person, she will definitely earn more than most.

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    2. πŸ‘for the life of me, I can’t have another woman with ness my baby’s 1st step, speech or many other exciting thing he will do.
      Job will come wen he grows up, 280k per month is far better than emotional office politics stress! I have been there. I can’t for d life of me pls

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  5. The writer of that post is obviously a full time housewife.

    How about including 'asks husband for cash for every little thing, even sanitary pads and eye pencil'

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    1. This was part of the reason/s why my first marriage broke up. If we quarrel my kid brother staying with us treks to school. I used my worn out pants as sanitary towels because I couldn't afford one. He goes to market himself, does the school run. The only time I went out was on some Sundays that he chose to go to church. I will never advise any woman to be a full time housewife. The novelty wears off and you become a 'liability'

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    2. Some husbands give their wives monthly allowances so they don't need to wait on him for their needs

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    3. What if Na man write am? Man wey been marry working class but ended up with another stay at home ? What if he compared both?

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    4. Same here...I was a stayhome mum for 10yrs because of no paper then.I saw hell hubby was making money building houses in Nigeria while I was going thru hell.. Ordinary tissue paper he stopped buying that we are too wasteful ,thank God for free tissue in shopping mall.I will go there with my shopping trolley and take as much as I can to use during the week..He did food shopping by himself too.My kids suffered but as soon as God settled me he started bombading me with love...Deep down I'm done,ladies never allow a man to take away your dignity,Atleast do a part-time job..During my ordeal I became a self taught hairdresser from YouTube, then I started making some change before my residency came..Long story but in all I give thanks to God.Sorry for my spellings

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    5. I am a stay at home mum not out of will but because i have not been able to get a job as a lawyer. I only do some private briefs like company registration and cac related matters. I am not fulfilled, i long to be back in the career world. Everyday, i get frustrated. I love my family but stayung at home does not give me fulfillment.

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    6. YOU ARE THE REAL MVP. THE FEAR OF GOING THROUGH THIS MADE ME NOT TO EVER LEAVE MY JOB.
      I HAVE BEEN WORKING SINCE MY UNI DAYS AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT MEANS NOT TO WORK. GOD HELP ME

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    7. No matter how much any man pay me,I can never stay home
      I'm still job hunting at the moment.
      My husband dealt with me and is still dealing with me
      A job will change most things,no matter how little the salary may be,just the thought of always leaving the house everyday and meeting up with my little needs plus that of my parents!
      πŸ™ŒπŸ™Œmy Faithful Jesus will sort me out soon!!
      God bless all stay at home(mothers) and working mothersπŸ™πŸ™Œ
      Selah!

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  6. looool, in my opinion, whoever wrote this is just consoling themselves with the "stay at home mum" option. One could actually see through that there is regret and fustration in between. Frequent sex with husband gets boring because she gets too clingy and that irritates the man who feels he needs to get a breather from her. The kids also feel chocked because she is mostly in their face and controlling. I feel there should be a balance. Probably get a job that isnt time consuming like teaching or consultancy or run her own business away from home.

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  7. Stay home not working from home Never a good option cos of idle amebo and kakiri kakiri, balance the two

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  8. My mom is a combination of both and she is never exhausted I wonder where she finds the strength to keep up

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    1. Toxic she was HAPPY! Wen a woman is happy, she can reach the sky

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  9. Whoever wrote this comparison is a dunce!!!!

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  10. Married to a naija man alone is work! sometimes I feel marrying in these parts is a call to suffering and stress.

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  11. Lol...
    The first column describes the life of a career woman who makes no attempt at balancing her home and career. That is not exactly the situation.
    In my view, the second column is a ‘good to have’, if circumstances permit. However, based on the terrible subjugation women have endured from time past simply because of their lower economic status, more and more women have refused to be stay-at-home mums, because guys do not always live up to their side of the bargain.
    The world is what it is now. People should rest that argument championing ‘housewifeship’ and embrace the fact that men and women are pulling their weight economically. The focus should be on how to join hands (both parents) to ensure ALL the needs of the home (financially, spiritually, emotionally and otherwise) are met.
    Personally, I believe that there are gender roles, things that abinitio are expected from the man and woman respectively. However, I do not believe these are cast in stone. Both parties are to help each other move the family forward.
    When one decides to be a career woman, she is to set out a schedule that incorporates all the activities expected of her from work and her home, identify those that can be delegated and those that can’t, and ensure that she carries her husband along, as the bane of every career woman is an unsupportive spouse. The homefront needs to be taken care of if you hope to focus on and achieve your deliverables at work.
    It all takes wisdom, marriage is not for immature minds.

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  12. Whoever wrote that list is clearly team SATM with a biased mind..way harsh of WM. Sheesh!

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  13. YIMU Stella , i have seen a stay at home mom that all she does is to watch African magic, her kids are smelly and always sick, the truth is how i woman handles her home is a function of her personality and her management skills, i work 8 to 5 but we dont eat out, my help make fresh food daily, my son has different meal everyday we have no noodle in our menu, on sunday is my stay at home day, we go to church, from church we come back home and spend sundays together , my husband take my son to school and bring him back because his work is flexible, during this past holiday, my son was doing lesson three times a week, learning violin every day , so if you Make a lazy person stay at home their productivity will not surpass a working mother.

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  14. I don’t see anything wrong in mothers having careers.
    It’s all about understanding and management.
    If you have a good man by your side, he will make all of these easy.
    If a man can pursue his own career, why can’t I?
    My father didn’t train me in school and set me up in business to be just a house wife. That would be a total waste.

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  15. OK i have had the opportunity to be both. To be honest, i was so eager to start working to leave the house.
    A woman staying at home deals with lots of stress with the kids. Some says while the kids are in school what do you do.
    A woman wakes 5am to make food for the family and prep the kids for school. She even makes lunch for everyone. Husband included. Then she takes the kids to school. Once she is back, she starts arranging, cleaning, washing clothes, then she makes sure the kids have something to eat when they come home.

    I forgot to say, once a mum goes out to drop the kids in school, and comes home that zeal of working would reduce. She had to force herself knowing if she doesnt the kids will get back. That description up there was me πŸ‘†.

    So i decide to wake early as 4am. Clean the house, wash the available clothes make breakfast and lunch then wake the kids. Then i notice i have alot of energy in the morning.

    So when i get home from kids school i just hit my bed and read. .

    The moment i started working i was so excited and yes, because the house work was draining me. My help which i got after i got a job, she does everything aside cooking and kids homework. That one was daddy's duty. Please i hail all stay at home mum. They deserve to be paid.

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    1. πŸ’―
      Men never appreciate the fact that stay at home mums should earn a decent salary. It’s just ‘see-finish’ syndrome.

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  16. All I know is that I can NEVER be a house wife. What! With the type of men we have? Even if such a man is an angel, I will never feel fulfilled. I think I will get depressed.

    Going out and contributing your quota to the world is so refreshing and amazing plus you have your own money. If husband wants to try bullshit with me, I exit with my kids! So far so good I think I am balancing my role as a mother, wife and career woman pretty well. Some days can be exhausting but I have an understanding husband and my Kids are super amazing. At age 5, the boy already does the dishes , sweeps the floor (though not perfectly)and helps his younger ones with assignment. I am blessed!

    Do what works for you but the economy is too tough. Husband and wife should bring in money.

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    1. Best Advice...Good to have your own ,no matter how small it is...

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  17. Non is a guarantee for a good home. Just God involved and he will give the wisdom to balance the home.
    80% of women would love to stay at home and have all needs and extras met, but can't, cos of the economic situation.
    Met a housewife yesterday, she has 2 kids and in the course of our discussion, she said, every 25th, my husband pays me salary (to do whatever she wants with it. Not household maintainance) so, she has undertaken a project in her father's house, base on her salary.
    Such a woman will rather remain a housewife, and take care of home 100%.
    Who like sufferhead?

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    1. Funny enough, a housewife works! She cooks, cleans, washes, iron, school runs, tutor, etc etc...she deserves more than to be paid, she should be adored and those who now combine office work with all these should be worshipped! Period.

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  18. Mums now work and still do all the stay at home moms can do....

    Stay at home doing what na? Then tomorrow, you will say you're being disrespected. Abeg o!

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  19. women are really trying, weather stay t home or working.

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  20. My wife stays at home, I prefer it that way, at least she gets to care/dropoff/pickup without me worrying and she gets paid handsomely for it, if she wants a craft, she can do it when our trio are in boarding school, she can't complain because her allowance per month can get her a mini golf car, overall, whatever she wants, she gets, its not fair to compare who's better, a working woman can borrow money from my wife who's a housewife and vice versa, no room for comparison.


    A. FON.

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    1. Wish I married a husband like you. I don’t work but he won’t let me rest always nagging me to go and work. Am not a working person am a small scale kinda business person but he wants to work!! Mind you he only gives me stipends as in peanuts. This is a man that can’t even take his plates to the sink after eating or cook only once in a blue moon cleaning. Am just fedup

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    2. My house is spotless I serve everyone like royalty my kids are well turned out am clean I take of him anytime he demands it am not tired . Why won’t he let me be ??!! I’ve never worked in an office since I was born. I can’t stand those type of challenge. Our kids are well trained,groomed

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  21. Umu nwanyi, biko nnu, marry well, so you won't be comparing working women versus stay at home women.

    Marry who will show you off as an oriaku, your skin will glitter and shine, you will be treated like a queen, don't be a suffer head wearing rags n selling oranges coz you wanna hustle, hustle has grades, I hustle from home, my nwuye is an expat so I get alert steady, I don't ask him for anything coz he's a great provider, my indoor lounge is a mini creche for my brother's kids, when there mom closes, she comes for them, so u see, we need each other, nobody can belittle me seeing I'm a house wife, dem no born you well cox my own comes with class.

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  22. Who is the jackass that wrote that piece of crap? Both wives shouldn't be compared at all, they think being a house wife is easy? Or being a career wife is easy? If you marry a bad man, you will suffer, career or stay at home.

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  23. Its interesting how no one writes 'don't judge' or 'mind ya business' or even 'women supporting women' under this kind of posts.

    Anyways, neither working mum nor stay at home mum deserves to be undervalued. To each her own...whatever rocks your boat(afterall we all do not ride thesame kind of boat.).

    However, what I think is more important are the VALUES that come to play at either post..Are you a disciplined working /stay at home mum? Is your style of execution enviable Or can you proudly show it off? Beyond the basic needs met, are you trully happy and fulfilled?

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  24. Hmmm do this theory still apply to Nigeria economy? Na question I ask oo

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  25. Stay at Home Mother is a job as far as I am concerned and deserves to be paid even if it is a stipend from the spouse salary. There are men who do it. Childbirth (love making to conceive-delivery) is a job, housekeeping is a job, childcare +school runs is also a job. They deserve to be loved, cared for and respected for the sacrifices made. Although some stay at home spouse are lazy, dirty and troublesome. Having said that, both working mums and stay at home depends on the agreement reached before saying 'I do.' As long as the homefront does not suffer and there is maturity, respect and true love, both can work well.

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  26. Jeeez! I hate that I have to post more than once to see my comment.

    This is an agenda to further restrict and limit women.
    If you went to school and wish to be a career woman, don’t let anyone blackmail you.
    If you want to be a housewife, do it with your chest too.
    It is the responsibility of both the Father and Mother to instill morals in kids. Except a spouse is working in another country or state, both must be involved in the raising,grooming and educating of their kids.

    ❌❌My comment is not for everyone❌❌

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  27. Am back again stronger and stronger,thanks to God for another second chance

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