STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DESPERATE TO MARRY...
I currently have 2 suitors, one is a pharmacist, the other is an air force officer, i like the air force guy but my parents think i will do better with the pharmacist since i am a doctor...
I also like the pharmacist but he is a mums boy, he is the last in his family and has everyone dictating his life ,he can cancel our appointment because the sister wants him to do something for her and he wont even bother to let me know. i will be all dressed up waiting for him and he wont show up until i call then he will start apologising.
I like him but this attitude puts me off.
I am scared the officer will always be on the move because of his job and i heard they are hardly faithful. He seems like a nice guy but people do change.
The twist here is that i am preparing to leave Nigeria and relocate to either Canada or Australia which is also in line with the pharmacist' plan as he is also planing to relocate to Canada but the officer isn't thinking of that. i am confused, i have prayed and prayed yet no heard way. i need to settle down Latest April next year before i leave.
How do i convince the officer to resign and leave with me as i don't see myself settling in Nigeria or how do i get the pharmacist to be a man as he is currently behaving like a baby.
*How do you convince a man to resign and leave with you?what if he is not the man you thought he would be when you get there?
A man finds a good thing and not the other way round...let your husband find you and stop acting so desperate please...ah ah!
If you want to relocate,please by all means do so but stop putting yourself under pressure and giving yourself a time limit...Do you now if you will meet someone to marry you when you relocate?
Na wah....
Na wa!!!
ReplyDelete🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
When God is silent, that in itself is a message. Pray for the grace to discern
DeletePoster you must not marry any of them. You haven't been clear on why you feel the need to marry before you travel.
DeleteSo an airforce officer, not order rank o, should leave his job because you want to go to Canada. Hian. You are very confused, sort yourself out before getting married.
DeletePoster hav u taught what of if u relocate n boom u meet who God has designed for u in Canada/Australia?
DeleteI can imagine God looking down on u n shaking his head n wondering y u are worried for nothing wen his got u.
Pls calm down n stop worrying, u dnt hav a problem, u are only giving urself time limit.
She is fucking both men,she is a scum.
DeleteCollect the pharm guy and be going
DeleteRelocate and look for a third.
ReplyDeleteThe pharmacist might man up in the Canada/Australia.
DeleteOr relocate and find a 3rd.
But I will advice as a female doctor marry a "Johesu" male at your own peril.
Don't put your life on hold for anyone. Don't make a rash decision cause your in a rush. Don't try to alter the course of someone else's life to suit your needs. Why would you want the officer to resign for you? What if neither of them are meant to be your husband?
DeleteYou don't choose for yourself and then start praying to God. You should have asked God before coming up with this your option A and B.
BB 😂😂😂😂
DeleteDon’t I just love you 😂😂😂
@15:41, that insults was really uncalled for, I dont blame you is in Naija that other healthcare professionals apart from doctors are not appreciated.
DeleteThere are loads of Johesu Male with dr wife's doing good.Any man can make good husband irrespective of profession.
Anon 15:41. You are myopic with your reasoning. So you consider the poster marrying down if she chooses a pharmacist. May God have mercy on you. There is dignity in labour and pharmacist is a honourable profession. I pray you see the light. Your "Johesu" comment is unwarranted. Deal with individuals on the basis of who they are, and do not base your judgement on stereotypes, or societal norms.
DeleteSelah
Lmao @ Johesu male
DeleteAnọn 15:41 you're something else. Are pharmacists really 'Johesu' like that? Nothing is wrong with them jor
You obviously don’t know the meaning of JOHESU, it’s an abbreviation, just google and read up, too tired to explain. And anon 15:41, so you think there is JOHESU in Canada, besides you think all pharmacists work in the hospital. The beauty of the profession is that it’s the only healthcare profession that can diversify. I’m a pharmacist, (obviously), but I’ve worked as a medical representative, got my CIM certification, also got my CBAP and also a certified data analyst. I currently work as an associate in one of the big 5 consulting firms in the world and you can google that up and check the salary scale. And before you yarn dust again, I had all this before I migrated to Canada, and may I say the juice is definitely worth the squeeze. Btw, I also have my MBA, so beat that, madam doctor!
Delete@anon,03:41,you wont try PEBC exams??
DeleteWell, I’m the anon and yes, I’ve done that already, actually the only exam I did in Canada, but not using it since I’m now in the business world
DeleteYou want a man to resign his job and leave with you because you will be paying him in millions monthly or what? Imagine, if someone ask that of you especially for a job you actually love.
ReplyDeleteAs far as I’m concerned, with your narrative you haven’t found husband yet. Why don’t you relocate first and see if you’d meet someone else whose behaviors align with yours? Won’t advice even my enemy to marry a YES man or mummy’s boy. The end is never good and it’s obvious you prefer the other guy. This one you have put marriage time stamp on yourself, don’t go and settle for less just to meet the target. A man who will tick all the boxes will come whether in Nigeria or Toronto.
Dear poster, drop the pharmacist now! Even if you relocate, most medical males will feel inferior to the doctor. So he'll always feel like "drs like feeling superior to other medical colleagues". That's the johesu thing another bv tried telling you up there! Not all are like that but most!
DeleteI'll advise you first relocate, it's much easier to relocate as a single....
The officer might be it! But leave your mind open....
No man will tick all the boxes. You people should stop having illusions about perfect man or marriage. A successful and long lasting marriage does not mean perfect people or perfect situations. It is hard and continous work, learning to accept and understand your imperfections and still working hard to make them better for the other spouse. That is why it takes the commitment of the two for a marriage to work.
DeleteYou have two suitors or you are dating two people at the same time and still praying to God to help you pick the right one?
ReplyDeleteDoes God answer such prayers?🤔
Assistant Jesus!
DeleteGood afternoon Ma/Sir.
Tedting
DeleteTesting
DeleteMy dear you can never change a man unless he is willingly to change and God helps to back up...Why not relocate and maybe the love you deserve will find you...Most of you ladies love to wait for an airplane at the wharf when you know its not possible...You cant meet both men on a common ground...
ReplyDeleteWhy he no go vex, Abeg "DON" vex jor, me too dey vex for here, if na man said this now them no go allowed person hear word. Resign say you be waiting, nonsense.
DeleteSee what anger did to you...You are messing up your tenses...Kam Dan Nan
DeleteYou want us to tell you how to convince the officer to resign and leave with you?
ReplyDeleteWho you be again? See entitlement.
Abeg bounce off..
No vex nah 😂
Delete😂
DeleteEasy tiger
DeleteBABSY
How about you let both of them go and focus on yourself cos clearly you are conflicted. Your desperation will have you making grave mistakes.
ReplyDeleteBut if you must, the Pilot guy is a far more better option..take it from someone that has dealt with a Mommy's boy. They never change, its you against his family and you will never win.
Pexxy darling, it’s time for a new pair of reading glasses or am l the one who needs it?? I thought dude is an Air Force Officer? Does that make him a Pilot? Just asking.
Delete😂😂😂😂. Chile, i def need reading glasses. What is wrong with me? 😢
DeleteLol..Perxian...funny you.
Delete😂😂😂 Stella you told her the truth gaskia. She obviously is coming off desperate and it just might backfire for either one of them she CONVINCES to make the move with her.
ReplyDelete@the white enchantress 🙏🏼
99% of ladies are desperate for marriage but ur ability to hide it will keep u safe from wolves she might not show that shes desperate but just baring are soul and inner thoughts to us. if u got married easy does not mean its easy for others.
DeleteThere’s nothing I won’t see on SDK blog. This one now has gone round Nigeria and sampled the opinions of ladies to arrive at the conclusion that 99% of ladies are desperate for marriage. Smh.
DeletePoster you still have a long way to go before marriage and I don’t mean it in a bad way,
I like the advice Stella gave you. It will be hard for the Airforce officer to resign and just up and go if he sees a career in the Airfoce.
ReplyDeleteAs per your Pharmacist Boyfriend the only time you will enjoy him, is 2 things. if you both relocate and stay away from his family. And if his eyes can open now to slacken the hold of his family on him otherwise you won't enjoy him.
Stop putting pressure on yourself. For all you know they both might not be meant for you.
Why don't you relocate and just flow. God will meet you on your way.
Don't give yourself unnecessary stress. Relocate and allow things play out. Who knows, you might meet someone else. Because someone in the force Won't Leave the country because you want him to and the pharmacist may wise up when he eventually relocates.
DeleteNa this kind desperation dey make some of us dey enter one chance
ReplyDeleteAs for me, non of those bobo deserve you. Trust your intuition
Quit giving your self time 😂 limit bcos the life you live is a gift from God and not yours alone
That been said,live life to the fullest whether your dream to get married on or before April comes to pass.
As in make I just see opportunity travel like this ,Na man matter I go kon dey reason ????
DeleteGod o
More like a square peg trying to go into a round hole. How exactly do you think you can convince a naval officer to leave his work and follow you to ...where again? Not like you have even adapted to the place you are still ‘thinking’ of relocating to.
ReplyDeleteNa wa.
Dont mind her they think relocating to another country is easy
DeleteBABSY
Youre fucking both abi?
ReplyDeleteGod created the woman; wife to be the helpmate of the man.
ReplyDeleteThe problem here is created by you. You want "abroad and marriage" in one package, okwa ya? 😊😊
It is the same thing always for every Naija girl I've known.
Must you marry either of this men?
If another dude who is based in Canada or Australia, no matter how evil he might be, shows up now, won't you just abandon all these dudes with
this "like, like" you are chanting?
Marriage is not based on like. If it is not LOVE (unconditional love), it will collapse!
You have to choose one thing lady,
do you want to get married?
Or do you want to "relocate" to Canada or Australia?
Do you want your parents to make the choice of whom to marry for you
or do your want to, as an adult, make
the choice?
Above all, where is God (who instituted marriage) in all these?
Have you kept him out of it as usual
until you make a lot of mistakes and
encounter avoidable pains?
You are accusing the Pharmacist of dancing to his parent's/sister's tunes
but you in making a choice for a marriage partner are dancing/listening to the
tunes of your parents; are you not?
Okwa ajuju ooo
🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
Why is it that when a girl expresses her expectations/ desire in a relationship, she will be tagged as being desperate??
ReplyDeleteA man will do same and nobody really cares...
Since you seem confused...
DeleteDesperation (noun): a state of despair, typically one which results in rash or extreme behaviour.
Everything this writer stated, embodies desperation! She wants to be married in or before April, and as such, is trying to alter life to fit into her deadline.
Marriage is not something you rush into just because your mates are doing so. I love my husband but sometimes i miss my single hood cos i would waited to do some things differently before going into marriage, do your things and lead your life the way you want it without having to answer to any man. Men will surely come, don't rush it.
ReplyDeleteExactly why I’m enjoying my single life to the fullest o
DeleteAbeg abeg singlehood is meant to be enjoyed 😂
Guess u got it on a platter of gold thats y u are thinking of being single, if u were like some of us that is praying and have gone to all mountains and prayer for marriage u will not sound like this
DeleteGone to all mountains? May God grant your heart desire but I hope you don’t fall into the wrong hands.
DeleteHahahaha got what on a platter of gold, if you know me outside blog you will know that marriage has never been my thing. I only married because my mum has been complaining that non of her girls wants to get married and as the first daughter i just want to make her happy cos she is like my second God and meanwhile i married my best friend, if not for these two reasons i would have loved not to marry. Now i have resigned from my job to live with my husband, depending on him, no job in view, no me time again cos i enjoy my private time alot coupled with pregnancy sickness, everything is just annoying. Better enjoy your single hood well, when marriage comes you will understand.
DeleteLol. See as you're playing with your life. Your parents THINK you will do better with someone cos of his job of all things. And you're considering him. Are you and him not the same? Two unserious, so-called adults that will bring "my mummy/daddy said" into the marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou actually sound like an arrogant sociopath. You don't want a man cos constant travelling might be a reality of his job. So your solution is that an army officer should resign and end his career. Do you know how much time and discipline it takes to get to where he is in his career? What will he get in return? Your vagina dangling on relocation plans where YOU get to control everything and everyone? Not a decent bargain at all but you obviously don't see that.
Madam dokinta, I'd advise you not to marry either of them. If you want to travel out, do so. Unless there is something you're not telling us, nobody can stop you from travelling because you're single.
It's bad enough that your selfishness is so unique, that it can probably be trademarked and bottled for sale to experiment on lab rats. But God doesn't respond to ultimatums. So He definitely cannot be the one you've been praying to with your "latest by April next year" caveat. Trying to manipulate someone's will out of God's Will and you're complaining God didn't reply? You're brave, sha. Sorry but what exactly is He supposed to answer you? Where will He start? I'll tell you for free that you're setting yourself up to marry the wrong man. Even if neither the pharmacist nor the officer marries you. Nigeria that even married men are acting nice to leave the country is where you're showcasing your desperation like this? You'll end up paying for your brideprice, wedding, visa and everything to do with relocation. Then, you'll trend when you send follow-up chronicle about if you should divorce cos your "husband is ungrateful".
OA
Damn! OA, you can be quite brutal. 😭😭
Delete* Air Force officer should end his career
DeletePerxian, thank you. I aim to please :)
OA
Very brutal
DeleteThis right here
DeleteIs worse than firing squad!!!!🎯🎯
Bullseye
Very articulate
OA, there is no need to castigate her person when advising her. You should stick to the facts and besides she has a right to want a husband that will not travel too often. How dare you refer to her as an 'arrogant sociopath'?????? Someone you haven't met??? You have only succeeded in coming across as an insensitive person. If you know what the poster has written irks you to the point of being abusive online then please read and pass....aah aah..this is too much naaaa. Una go tip someone over the edge on this blog oo.
DeleteLet us always consider that people have different perceptions in life and advise reasonably Biko. This your abuse to her really got me...stoppeeeett
Anon 21:27 I didn't realise I was supposed to be her sensitive mammy. Her not wanting a husband that travels often isn't a problem, her supposed solution is. I said she sounds like an arrogant sociopath cos that's exactly how she comes across. It's not abuse. But I could set up psych testing for her, just to be sure what the diagnosis would be though. Cos the level of her entitlement is indicative of serious issues. Or since she's a doctor, she could have it done it quicker cos she probably already knows some psychiatrists. Happy now?
DeleteNext time, read and pass by my "unreasonable" comments so that you don't go over the edge. Or ignore them totally since they're not your cup of whatever it is you take.
OA
21:27 are you just realising she is rude and talks anyhow like an uncontrollable tap. Always angry like she is being forced to give comments full of bile.
DeleteOA or whatever you call yourself learn to talk with kindness and respect. You lack both.
poster you must be kidding telling a man to resign cos you are a doctor and want to go obodo oyibo. Get your brain intact you are not ready to be a wife yet and free those men. A man cannot change because of you he will only pretend to get what he want then he will show you his real character.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind her. She wants to marry to tick a box. She's definitely not ready to be anybody's wife.
DeleteOA
Shut up OA. Let her want what she wants. So many men have resigned and followed women abroad. Don't make it seem like she is being delusional. I live abroad and many have come over and been successful doing something different. Stop being judgemental. For all we know you haven't always made good decisions in your life.
DeleteAnon 21:29 Lol. But she is delusional. Why are you encouraging her? Many men have followed women abroad, how many are Air Force guys and what did they get in return? I'm guessing you're 21:27 above. Silly troll.
DeletePoster, sorry oh. I apologise. Go and buy a drum of kayanmata and bathe in it four times a day. Hang one as chandelier from your ceiling just in case. Don't forget to fix blue/indigo eye (one colour per eye). Oga Air Force will resign and beg to follow you quick quick. Sellers of the magic you're obviously looking for, are plenty on the 'gram. No vex, you hear?
OA
SDK, I am so proud of you and the pieces of advice you give to my friends Naija girls these days.😊😊😊
ReplyDeleteI did not read your red pen before I began commenting. I just went back to read it.
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Proverbs 18:22 The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the LORD.
1 Cor. 11:3 But there is one thing I want you to know: The head of every man is Christ,
the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
The English people says that the dog wags his tail and not the tail wagging the dogs.
Bingo 🐕 no be so?
Na so.
Ajuju azaa. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I will advise you go with the Pharmacist, he gels more with you career wise and seems a caring person to his family and when that attention is turned to u, u will enjoy him, speaking from experience, no one is perfect, with time he will give you your desired attention, my husband of 22 years was like that, I cant forget the day he left me when I had my first baby that we were carrying to go visit his Cousins, we dont ve a car then, when we came down from bus, I noticed my baby's shoe had pulled off inside the bus, I was looking for d shoe not knowing he had left, excited to see his cousins, me that just came to Lagos newly at Oshodi bus stop ooo, I had no money to go back home, I couldn't see him in the crowd in the old Oshodi, he didnt even look back, he had entered the bus going to Mushin b4 he realized we were not with him, or is it when I was in labour in the morn, he was going to church and I told him to come home after church service in case we need to go to the hospital, for where, from church he went to see his elder brother, leaving me to my faith, I had to find my way to the hospital, after delivery, I called him to tell him his son had arrived, but now, he has no eye for them expect us, with time and patient pointing it out to him who is more important, it wont be easy but if I can get his attention, u can get ur man's own. I dont think the other man will leave his job to follow u ooo. It is not easy to change anyone ooo
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful to God cause I have been married to an airforce personal 14 years together,3 years marriage,we have our ups n downs but God has been Good,byes he will be posted trust me it's not the not staying at home people exaggerate, God bless ur home
ReplyDeleteHas he cheated on you before?
DeleteDid he change after marriage??
I think the answers to those questions will help the poster
No he has never cheated on me in our marriage, we have been together before he joined the force,not like I met him in the force, I tell u airforce officers are balling and I tell u,that guy will.never resign his job to follow wan go obodo yibo wey he no know him future
DeleteMost men cheat. Get over it. It has nothing to do with profession. They can be living with you and be cheating everyday.
DeleteIf na man dey date 2 ladies, we no go hear word...now this one is dating 2 guys n noone is calling her a cheat or a player
ReplyDeleteDating, where? She said suitors and i'm taking her words for it. 😑😑
DeleteIt's okay, so far na woman. Once the table turn, all hell will break loose.
DeleteMadam, what if your husband is waiting for you in Canada? Must you marry before you relocate?
ReplyDeleteNa wa for your selfish suggestion. You actually want a grown man to resign his job and relocate with you to Canada, is it a crime if you cancel your plans of relocating and stay in Naija with him?
ReplyDeleteLeave both men alone. Relocate and settle down first. Give yourself sometime. A third will spring up in either place you settle down. Good luck.
ReplyDeletePls o, are you really serious about wanting the air force guy to resign because of you? babe u get mind o.
ReplyDeleteFYI you have not seen husband/suitor yet continue searching.
Forget about who will be faitful after marriage for now. Go for the one you love and comfortable with most. Millitary do take care of their wife and also love their wife too. Most especially the educated ones...
ReplyDeletePoster I deduced that you are dating the pharmacist but was introduced to the Airforce Officer (by matchmaking).
ReplyDeleteYou are only in love with being married, not any of these two guys. Give it time. Relocate as a single lady and think it through for 2 years.
Get rid of your self-imposed DESPERATION or your parents' EXPECTATION.
The pharmacist is obviously young and within your age bracket. He might not be a mommy's boy but just not yet experienced enough to balance his obligations to his family and girlfriend.
Being the last child in a family, older ones expect you to 'obey' them first and run errands. I speak from experience. After over a decade of working, it was just 3 years ago I stopped my first sister from telling me how to spend my earnings especially who in the extended family to send money to at their whim. Well, being female, I coped better because all my boyfriend put up with was to run the errands with me, being monitored and told not to keep me out beyond 8:00pm on dates.
The Airforce officer will not resign his job to follow you to the ends of the world. The military is not 'hello and goodbye' kind of career.
If the Pharmacists goes over to same country you relocate to, you both should court and find out if you have much in common besides medical profession.
Above all, God's answer comes with peace of mind. "He will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him because he trusts in Him." Isaiah 26v3
ayanma.so she is fucking both.if to say na men now,women here will raise thier dirty mouth.
ReplyDeleteLol an officer resign and travel out with you. He won't do it. I repeat, he won't resign and he will laugh if you bring that idea to him. You can marry him and relocate alone while you both will keep visiting each other but i am not in support of couples staying at the different locations or you can marry the pharmacist and relocate with him to canada but you have alot of work to do on him since he still behaves like a baby
ReplyDeleteEverything should work towards your plan of relocating abroad. The officer will not relocate. What is he going to do abroad? Security guard? If he is a pilot and has plans to become a commercial pilot then he will be ok. Of the two, the Pharmacist seems to the better choice. You both have the same relocation ambition. However, I will suggest that you concentrate of your travel plans/board exams and achieve your goal and many men will be added unto you!!
ReplyDeleteIn our Nigerian culture, the man marries the woman and not the other way round.
ReplyDeleteSo, you thinking of asking a man to resign and follow u, "OFF ME". Who is d head of the home, you? A federal government staff should resign and follow you, then when you get there, he should start looking for menial jobs or job hunting all over?
For the other guy, trust me, you will see worst in marriage. Even when you people are doing d do, when they call, he will jump off you to go do their biddings.
My dear, what do you really want? Just to get married or to marry right?
If the former, pick the last born. Atleast, taking him abroad, you will have him to yourself (let's hope so) since he will be far from family and can't run errands for them again.
The naval seems like a better choice btw both of them. And just know it's not all men that cheat. Even in the force. Know your man and believe in him.
Also, who says being in the same field helps anything? It dosent 95% of the time. Rather, it brings conflicts of interest. Pls don't base your choice on this.
Lastly, which is a must do and more important? Going abroad or marrying?
If it's going abroad, just free everyone and go. You might meet better choices there.
Marriage is not what you just jump into. It takes the whole of you. Pls be all round ready and prepared before entering.