Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Nigerian Women And Entitlement Mentality In Relationships

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Thursday, November 28, 2019

Nigerian Women And Entitlement Mentality In Relationships

Nigerian women have entitlement mentality when it comes to relationships and what they should get financially......................


Do you agree or disagree with this school of thought?







Can you use examples to back up your stand on this issue?



If i have to add my own then i would say that Nigerian women have entitlement mentality and always want want want......A Nigerian woman will marry and assume she is not supposed to bring anything to the table..she waits for him to pay the rent,fuel the cars,pay the school fees,buy the food and still give her money to go shopping..She thinks all these are her rights as a wife....

In a relationship some of them are worse and the reason some men dont date or marry Nigerian women anymore...
I know some of you will disagree with this but it will only be because you are on this table!

104 comments:

  1. Stella you said nothing but the truth! Not just only Nigerian women "African women"

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    1. And it's the reason why men no longer respect women,cos the only thing they bring to the table is sex which more than 4 billion other women have. I know some will say what about women that provide for the house when the husband is not working, now that proves me right, because such a man won't be respected by his wife. I hope you guys get it now!!!

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    2. This thing works both ways I've had a relationship where the guy felt so entitled to the point that he even tries to control my own money ,all he did was ask ask ask,
      And I'm naturally a kind hearted person but at some point I felt it was embarrassing to be with that kind of person.
      I had to end the crap and call him to order.
      And no we weren't having sex.

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    3. Stella e no follow, plenty of hardworking women in Nigeria catering for their families and husbands who do nothing but philander about. Even in rural areas, you see that women are the backbones of their family.

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  2. I agree but it works both ways. Nigerian men and culture expect so much from women.hence women want to get as much as they can from the relationship. Imagine marrying a man to manage with him yet u have to deal with all the crap... cheating, in-law wahala etc on top no money?
    I have male friends who don't wanna marry Nigerian girls because they are superficial

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    1. If u go to Nigerian campuses & see young girls living the good life, way above their parents means. Who is funding their lifestyle? Men with independent wives dt bring everything to the table. As 4 me, my husband must provide everything as in everything, down to Maggi & salt. I make sure my kids go to expensive schools. No time for rubbish

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    2. If u go to Nigerian campuses & see young girls living the good life, way above their parents means. Who is funding their lifestyle? Men with independent wives dt bring everything to the table. What do these young girls bring to the table? Just their vagina.
      See, men luv spending on women, if he's not spending his money on u (his girl) he's spending it on his side chick, don't be fooled by their rants here.

      As 4 me, my husband must provide everything, as in everything, down to Maggi & salt. I make sure my kids go to expensive schools, he can afford it, no need to manage. No time for rubbish.

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    3. You are correct africa royal

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  3. I can only talk about my own experience. I have always played the role of an independent lady. God had been blessing me with one good job after another. Got married six years ago; rent on me, food on me. We are TTC and I have been the one bearing 80% of the cost. I honestly know that hubby doesn't have but the burden is killing me. I can no longer regularly afford things I was used to-jewelry, nice perfumes. I sold most of my jewelry and the little I have now are getting tired. The hook for my necklace got spoilt and I have been going without one. I need to send foodstuff to my Mum and I explained to her that she has to wait till salaries are paid. She said I should get from my husband. If only my Mum knows what i'm going through. Please this entitlement is his best -they will so overuse.

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    1. Anon 13.13 na you do yourself ! Once you act miss independent for a Nigerian man, he will not take care of you. Me, I am always the damsel in distress and my husband loves it so much, na native sense I dey use, he will just be running around sorting me out, 20 years in marriage and this my ‘native sense’ has not failed me once ! 🤣 I feel sorry for you girls of nowadays because you don’t know how to get a naija man’s mumu button. Nigerian men hate women dragging trousers with them. Take this to the bank !

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    2. Na dem. Stella their member is here.

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    3. 14:27. I want to be a damsel in distress sometimes but the man doesn't have. Should I hide my money and stop providing for my little children (3 and 1) so that he will find a way to 'save me'? What do I do? He really doesn't have but sometimes acts like I'm taking over his role as the man of the house. Is it my fault? What say you?

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    4. 14.27 it's not by your power or native wisdom, so tone down on the bragging.

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    5. 14:27 teach us the way na. Nigerian men are difficult. They shell out money for slay queens, oloshos and small girls and not their wives.

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    6. Anon 13:13 I clearly get you on this. It happens to ladies that were independent before marriage - they find it difficult to depend on the hubby for basic provisions he should make available as the man of the home. Then, over-time, he develops this sense of entitlement and it becomes difficult for the lady to ask and receive when she does not have and he has. Most of these men take advantage of their wives' independent nature by not providing for their home. YES, I'M TALKING FROM EXPERIENCE. It's a VERY BIG mistake I made - not that I was not really aware I was doing it, but I could not help myself. But a time should come in the life of every independent woman/lady to take back her place as a woman (help meet) and allow the hubby take charge of his responsibilities at home. However, if the man does not have or never had, then that's a different ball game.

      Stella, let me clear some things. In today's Nigeria, many married women take care of their husbands' responsibilities at home whereas unmarried ladies who date these irresponsible men now have sense of responsibilities and these men DO NOT FAIL to make ALL THINGS available to these shenanigan partners.

      Many Nigerian women who never had this sense of responsibility in their marriages and went ahead to make provision in their homes (despite their husbands' good financial status) in the guise of building their homes, have lived to regret their actions as these men (commonly called oka mma n'ama) use "their own" finances to build "outside houses" and when these women have financial accident, they are left to bury their own corpses.

      Indeed, every woman needs wisdom to be able to build her home - in the early stage of every marriage, a man is supposed to shoulder the major financial responsibilities (such as house rent, home furnishing, child creche/school fees) as well as taking decisions with the help of the wife (as a help meet that she is). The woman is a suitable helper - meaning the man has brought the major things on the table while she has come to supplement him NOT to take over his duty.

      If anyone is inclined to dispute this, I have no other thing to say.

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    7. The summary is: an average Nigerian married woman take responsibility in her home while a lot of unmarried women show sense of responsibility to their men, WHAT AN IRONY.

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    8. In summary: a lot of married Nigerian women are responsible for the maintenance and upkeep of their homes (as their husbands gallivant around) while an average unmarried Nigerian lady/girl has a great sense of entitlement towards their married male partners who make ALL things available - WHAT AN IRONY.

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  4. A lot of women I know think this way.I have a female friend that told me I should always ask a guy I am dating for money or else he will feel I don't need him😑It's a very low way of thinking.

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    1. I feel you dont ger them. If you dint ask jim, he'll feel you have and wont bother to even say "take"..... And its possible he gets used to the system and leaves responsibilities to you

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  5. I contribute my quota to the running of the family but I see nothing wrong if my hubby provides for all our needs, if he is capable. I dont see this as a sense of entitlement.

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  6. You cant speak for all the women in nigeria,Their are men with worst entitlement mentality.

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    1. Statements are not made with exceptions.. once something is above average it's okay to classify it by using it as a general statement.
      E.g
      All boy likes sex
      All girls like money
      Nigerian politicians are thieves
      Nigerian actress are hoeloshos etc.
      It doesn't mean there are not those that are different. But watch out for those ones that claims to be different.. they are the real deal. Like the ones claiming pastors and Muslims clerics.. sorry is your name if you fall for their scam

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    2. Na so. Keep showing your self

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    3. You're very right
      Both men and women have entitlement mentality
      Difference is one entitlement differs from the other .
      Period.

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    4. Too blessed you are right jare. They will never admit to their failings.

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  7. yes I feel entitled sometimes because hubby refused that I work now, he said I should care for the kids till they can express themselves at least. he said I should endure for now as a stay at home mum even though I really want to work

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  8. They should leave Nigerian women alone and go and marry women in America and Europe, women who like to sit on the heads of their men and drag trousers with them. Not all women were destined to be ‘cared for’ , some of you are ‘men’ in spirit and so can never get a man that will cater to you ! Only lazy and broke men complain when they do stuff for their women. A solid man with his divine rights intact will do what he has to do without waiting for his woman. Talk rubbish under my comment and you will surely bark like a dog on Christmas Day. Shior.

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    1. Haha all this talk is just pure set make. Women don't fall for all that independent shit o not for Nigeria men.

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    2. Anon13:24👍👍👍👍👍👍 you've said nothing but the truth. Miss independent my black fat ***.

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    3. Anon,you made some valid points.
      calm down..........e never reach to fight

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    4. 😂😂😂😂😂
      E dun happen 😂😂😂lmao
      Annon

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    5. 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Chihwagwa on Xmas day

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    6. Talk rubbish under my comment and you will surely bark like a dog on Christmas Day.

      😂😂😂😂 this blog ehn!!

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    7. LMAO 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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    8. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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    9. 🤣🤣🤣🤣@ bark under your comment

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    10. Exactly!!! Only a broke nigga will nag about taking care of his woman#

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  9. Stella it's not just a Nigerian woman mentality. I have a friend who married a white woman and she got this mentality too. She has refused to do any job and she's a great spender. She has just one kid but disturbed the husband till he got a nanny so she can go out and come back at will. And she doesn't cook reason being that she's the only child of her parents so she doesn't know how to cook(she hardly enters the kitchen at all). Like she brings nothing to the table except expenses and of course baby(ies).
    Here in Nigeria, I know it's kinda much but it stems from our background. You'll see a family where the parents sends the guys off for hustling and then groom the girls for marriage. I met a lady then in school who told me that she was just going to school so as to secure a certificate for marriage, since guys like educated ladies. And now she's a housewife, her dream is accomplished.
    Sometimes, I don't even blame Naija women cos of the way some people see them. When a woman is successful and doesn't have such entitlement, you see people saying that they f** their way through. You also hear that men are scared of successful women.

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    1. That your friend that married a lazy white woman, do you know what her mates will call her over here? LOSER!

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    2. Aproko Queen, that’s not true. A lot of white women are fully taken care of by their husbands and nobody sees it as anything. Even the ones that work. I pity Nigerian women in Nigerian forming ‘miss independent’ because they think that’s how white women behave, una go loss well well

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  10. The same way Nigerian men has this entitlement mentality that house chores is for women. So is vice versa. Any woman that knows how to collect money, should collect abeg.

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    1. My point exactly,
      It isn't gender based , entitlement differs .

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  11. I am to cook, clean, wash, carry pregnancy for 9 months, have sleepiness night when I give birth, etc. Your work is just to provide funds and you still want to share that with me?. The problem didn't start now. Our men have entitlement problems too. Haven't you heard them asking a man who cooks if he won't get married. In other words, get married so she can Clean and cook. Oga bring money.

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    1. Who cause the problem? Eve is the cause of your rant.direct that to eve.if she did not use her long throats to go fuck the devil because of apple,all this rants wouldn't be necessary.God then caursed amn and woman.shikenna.
      Naija girls are too entitled and cheap..reasons no serious man take them serious.girls are cheaper than pure water now!why do I have to stress myself? Shey na money you dey find?i go give you money but don't expect me to be serious with you!and when I am done,I move on ! I pity men that take Nigerian ladies serious!

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    2. Tank u....
      Nigerian man want to be the man of the house...he don't want his wife working, he wants his clothes washed,cooked his food,make his bed,sleep with him whenever he want,etc,what does he do than to provide for the house?mind u many women still support their men

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    3. Naija women are trying. A lot of them eat sheet from Naija men. Some of these men bring nothing but pains to the table to their wives and children.

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  12. This is going to be interesting.. I'm not going to say anything, let me just read comments. .😂

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  13. SOME Nigerian women have entitlement mentality.

    However, a greater percentage of Nigerian men have entitlement mentality too. The average Nigerian man has little or no respect for women irrespective of their age or financial background.

    They firmly believe they are entitled to any woman's body. That's why rape is no big deal to them because how dare a woman refuse to let a man sleep with her. A lady is gang raped because she was "rude" when rejecting one of the rapists' advances. Guess what? The world asks her why she was rude, how she could have been more polite in rejecting the man. Wasn't it recently a boy in his 20s raped a lady in her 30s?!

    The rich ones behave like gods and treat women like trash. They cheat and are not remorseful when caught. It doesn't matter whether their significant other is hardworking or God fearing. If she leaves, ten would take her position after all.

    You think the poor ones are better? Think again. They also cheat too and treat women like trash. Any woman doing well for herself is termed an "ashawo", especially when she rejects their advances. Their significant other takes care of them but are treated no better. The men use the money earned by their significant other to chase other women, even sleep with them in the same home their GF/wife paid for.

    Many homes (if not more than 50%) are financed by the wife yet the man prances around like the lord and master and can lock her out or kick her out of the house she paid the rent for.

    So please, can we stop this narrative of how the women are sitting at home, expecting everything? A greater percentage of women are hustling and trying to take care of their families. The single ones who you think have no responsibilities are the ones taking care of their parents and siblings. Some of them have no savings for themselves. Even the married ones who stay at home are not flexing as people imagine. Some of them stay home because their husbands (the same men who grumble about women sitting at home contributing nothing) commanded them to. Even at that, they are unpaid labour. They resume by 4 a.m. to take care of the family and are the last to sleep. How many of them can make savings or investments from money given to them? Any money given to them goes to running the households. Most full time housewives i know look so stressed out because of the daily work they do. Yet, they're not respected. In a real society, they would be paid very high for the services they render.

    Why are our men marrying foreigners? The vast majority marry them for the opportunities they would gain. Some marry them because of inferiority complex. A few out of love. Those who are married to foreigners, would they dare treat her the way they would treat their fellow Nigerian women? It's just culture and societal expectations that usually restrict our women from accepting advances from foreigners as most are expected to bring home a Nigerian man.

    Abeg, instagram slay queens and billionaire wives are less than 1% of Nigerian women. So let's stop using them as a yardstick.

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    1. God bless you for this brilliant write up

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    2. This is awesome!! thanks a lot for this

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    3. The single ones who you think have no responsibilities are the ones taking care of their parents and siblings. Some of them have no savings for themselves.

      God bless you...

      With this write up,I have nothing more to say.

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    4. kisses to you Anons.....more blessing my Love....

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    5. Wow
      Such a brilliant write up nothing else to respond to
      I love you for this 💋💋💋💋💋💋💯❤❤❤❤

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    6. Honestly. Even as a young girl i can’t afford to be in a relationship right now. Do you actually think guys also date girls who are unemployed? They are being picky af these days too. You will be shocked at how much much young girls are doing for themselves these days. Forget it girls are struggling twice as much as guys now. It’s not easy mehn.

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    7. Honestly. Even as a young girl i can’t afford to be in a relationship right now. Do you actually think guys also date girls who are unemployed? They are being picky af these days too. You will be shocked at how much much young girls are doing for themselves these days. Forget it girls are struggling twice as much as guys now. It’s not easy mehn.

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    8. 👏👏👏👏

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    9. The only sensible comment here!

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    10. You too much!
      You've said it all

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    11. 13:52 you finish work for this matter. Tankio!

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    12. Well said my dear. Let the nagging nigga go marry white women lets see how it will turn out! Lol if you know. You know

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    13. Thank you foe this. I have been married for 11 years and I am a stay at home mum. I also run a business on the side but it doesn't over ride my duties as a wife and mother. It is a deliberate choice I made to train our children the way we want. My husband recognises the sacrifice I have made and appreciates it. I do not feel less of a human being and I am in no way a member of the "entitlement" club. Every one is different and that is why I hate this fallacy of hasty generalisation.
      My hubby isn't a billionaire but neither am I a greedy wife or slay mama. We cut our coats according to the fabric we have. My kids are the better for it and nice they are old enough , I will focus squarely on my business. Everyone is wired differently. Do not allow anyone shape you into what they feel you ought to be. What works for my home, may jolly well not work for the next person.

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  14. I know most of Nigerian women will deny that they have this entitlement mentality but the truth remains what it is.. They expect a lot, when they have little or nothing and can't even contribute intellectually. Na so so so hair, bag, cloth, shoe, make up, travelling outside without spending their own money fill their heads.. I know this won't be a popular comment..

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  15. Well they should keep up the mentality of entitled to being dehumanized in marriage. That's why the men will have the guts to go out and cheat after all I do everything she depends on me. That's why he would command her to do his will (right or wrong) because she depends on him. And the list goes on and on... Women stop selling your selves both in marriage or relationship.

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    1. Oga,please look around you,how many women,married women do you actually know that are complete housewives? Just check around you abeg. Meanwhile,how many men are actually 100% faithful to their working wives? I am not arguing with you o! I have only asked you to look around you,ask the people closest to you, that is all.

      You people cannot still be stuck on this narrative forever nah! Not when most of our mothers sef and our friends' mothers worked. How much more now with the economy being what it is?

      This is how they say all girls are materialistic and only want billionaires yet everyday, a girl gets married. How many male billionaires do we have sef?

      'I'm outtie' 🙄

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    2. Don’t I just love you kami. They keep on screaming housewives this and that.... give that house wife something to do and see if she won’t grab it with all her might. The second thing a guys ask a girl these days after asking her name is “what do you do?” That’s how they know is they want to continue the toasting or not.
      Please girls are trying.
      Ask your single sister for once how she is doing. Ask her how she is for real.

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    3. Don’t I just love you kami. They keep on screaming housewives this and that.... give that house wife something to do and see if she won’t grab it with all her might. The second thing a guys ask a girl these days after asking her name is “what do you do?” That’s how they know is they want to continue the toasting or not.
      Please girls are trying.
      Ask your single sister for once how she is doing. Ask her how she is for real.

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    4. Zemzem talk true, ya wife dey feed you. So if you provide everything in your home as you should, you will now feel entitled to go and cheat outside? Na wa for dis una thinking sha.

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  16. Most Nigerian men feel entitled to a woman's body and most Nigerian women feel entitled to a man's money.

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  17. Relationship is Poverty Alleviation Programme for many ladies in Nigeria. You see those so-called big babes, they are the professional beggars. Money to fix car, rent payment, flight tickets, money to restock goods, frivolous shopping and the list goes on and on. What it takes to maintain such lifestyle is not for the weak-minded. The worst is that they are never contented nor happy. I feel sorry for the son of a gun that ends up marrying them.

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  18. What about Nigerian men that demand sex in relationship as if their lives depend on it nko? The ladies you guys wanna bang till day break all need money for maintenance and upkeep. Abi Na osho free una wan dey chop? The only time I will not support tasking any guy in relationship is when sex is not involved. If not ladies should continue getting what they want from their boyfriends. Nobody should hide under the umbrella of friendship and be eating osho free without taking care of their babes. I don yarn my own. Men are becoming wiser these days so women too should try and beat them to their kurukere game.
    N.B. men if you don't wanna be tasked pls don't ever ask for her kponyo. As the ladies are not entitled to your money you're also not entitled to their cookies jar. Not when babe will tell you I'm team mermaid and next thing you will block her on every every.
    Miss independents pls stay off my comment ooh. I've see alot of my friends that formed miss can take care if myself to the ring, now they're suffering and smiling.

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    1. Shey you no they follow enjoy the sex?then force you to get sex or use gun on you?soeak for yourself!just come out and say most naija ladies are olosho.using relationship as a poverty alleviation scheme!and stop hiding under the talk of maintaining the body.please!

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    2. There you have it, guys. Take Black Diamond’s advice and endeavor to pay for services rendered.

      Thank you.

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    3. You should only give your kponyor to a man who has put a ring on it.

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  19. If "someone is know" decides to write out his experiences, this page would not contain it.. a special daily series have to be made for it.. where person go even start from sef.. is it the one that because she saw some thousands naira note in "someone" wallet at the bus park in Abuja going to Lagos, decided to sit by his side in the journey and after begging him to buy her all the buyable on the road started giving me lamba of how she doesn't have any money on her except 100naira and don't know how she would get to Ikotun from beggar, hoping I'll give her money her father didn't work for.. or is it the one who after collecting the sneakers and dress "someone" brought for her from abroad still wanted to collect "someone" watch by force.. even though she knew it's his only wrist watch.. she even now stupidly gave him 1k for him to give her a watch that's worth over 60k and she knows that.. his refusal was what now caused issue.. girl that someone isn't dating or fuckin and still gave her gifts having such entitlement.. or is it the one that "someone" fought on her behalf after she reported an issue to him, and she couldn't say thanks.. instead she blamed him for helping her fight saying the man has now refused to pay me that money because of you..

    Hmm Naija girls.. I fear who no fear una.. feel free to come and drag my momsi and sisters into it. Na una sabi

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    1. If a working girl, especially one with a good job writes her story here.....hmmmm

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    2. Na the type of girls you dey go for. Maybe you are not attracted to better girls.

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  20. what we all has failed to underatand is that,,women needs comfort or have you ever seen a fish survive on a dry land before? NOP

    it is the duty of a man to creat comfort and make things happen in a womans life but where i get pissed is when you take it as something serious when,he is unable tp lrovide ur needs.

    thats why i tell some ladies that,

    you said you dont date or like broke guys but you cant bring anything to his table except lizard style,snake style etc

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  21. Women already do a lot biko. We carry the kids in our womb,breastfeed them, cook, do house chores,we also work and finally give the man sex when he wants. So after all these things we do as a woman you still expect us to use our money to cater for the family isnt it? All in the name of "independent woman" mbanu... Allow me to be dependent and begi begi biko. My money is to be borrowed and his money is to be used.

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  22. It's the men that are catering to their silly whims, that you should blame. Didn't a guy on this blog mention how a girl in the SnM told him she needed to change her wardrobe and taxed him in less than a month of their first greeting? He sent some of the money she demanded and she blanked him cos he didn't send all. Lol.

    If most men ignore an entitled woman, what's the worst that will happen? She will leave one, go onto the next guy, get ignored again, continue like that till she ends up in MFM/Shiloh/RCCG convention confessing to strange and terrible things. No be she do herself?

    But no. A man earning the same salary as his female former classmate will put himself under pressure that God didn't send him. Why won't he steal?

    Some of you, your mothers don't help matters. Your sister's vagina is your parents' retirement plan, so you go into the world with a warped idea that being female is a terrible disability from which a man's money is the only relief. It's the reason some MILs are terrified; they know the rubbish they taught their own daughters. That's why young women are making lifetime and destiny decisions based on "he has money and buys me pizza"! As if there's anything in the Y chromosome or a law in any eatery that forbids you from buying pizza or ice-cream for yourself. When you marry a yahoo boy and EFCC carries you for what you don't know, your eyes will clear. But you're the same person who will say, "My mother taught me never to let a man see a dime of my money." Rotfl!

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    1. I am rolling alongside you oooo!😂😂😂😂

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    2. Well it depends on the type of women you have met. I for. One have met real women. Women who have done so much for themselves. It just depends on what you surround yourself with. You are a woman yourself I’m guessing and You sound pretty intelligent. Now think of other women like you in Nigeria who are toiling and working their ass off to make something out of themselves. I promise you young girls of these days are more focused than guys. I for one don’t get In a relationship unless I have something I’m doing bc of issues like this. I thought I was the only one thinking this way until about 3 of my other friends said the same thing. Yes there are girls out there who task men, but compared to the hardworking girls out there these days, mehn you’d be surprised.

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    4. Exactly. It depends on the type of girl. Not all these empty headed slay queens. Nigerian women are very hard working. African women are hard working.

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  23. Mbanu, that is not Nigerian women 😊😊
    That is the description of my friends -Naija girls 😂😂😂
    Dude says "hello, you are a very pretty girl...can I have your number..."
    My Naija girl will chant "What is your plan for us...define us...my mother's
    shop rent has expired, my sister school fees is due next week and she needs
    50k for her project...my hair needs Peruvian fix as I am allergic to natural
    hair and it costs 150k...my, my,my,my..."
    Shuooooorrr 😮😮😮😮 dude commit crime by walking across ya market, im never price self ooo?
    You wan liquidate am on the spot.
    No be ATM dude be that one? Okwa ajuju oo
    😮😮😮😮😮😮

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  24. It goes both ways, but women own to much. I tried your single and mingle, meet this girl online. I told her about my self, 2 days babe requested 800k she said she wants to use to secure a job. Wasn't a problem for me but the way she goes about it. She said to me"if you love me please give me 800k" how can i love someone I just start talking to? Some of this Women have lost direction of what relationship is all about.

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    1. Again it is the type of girl you were unfortunate to meet.

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  25. Nigerian women have entitlement mentality cos once u show some man u are willing to assist...bam...they leave 90 percent of the financial responsibilities to d woman,so most times women claim damsel in distress to avoid this....

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  26. Different strokes for different folks. Me I am a full time housewife. 2 teenage kids, 2 housekeepers, driver, Gardner, cook etc. I have quite some money in the bank as my monthly upkeep money is more than enough. Didn’t start out like this tho. We both struggled like mad when we got married.

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