Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

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Wednesday, December 11, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative.....

Hmmmm.........








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ONE LAST CHANCE 

Good day madam Stella ,I am in need of sound advice from BVs please keep me anon . God bless you abundantly for the lives you are touching through this your blog .


I just broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years, because he did something i don't think i would be able to forgive while he was high on alcohol (i cant go into it because it upsets me when i talk about it ), as is usually the case these days .


Last month i got on my knees and asked God to give me a sign to know if this relationship was worth all the stress i had to put up with just because we have the same goal of getting married next year . then this happened and i saw it as the sign i was asking God for and decided to end the relationship instead of wasting my time and his time. in all sincerity he was a good man the few times he wasn't drunk but i cant cope with that any more because i don't know if hes ever going to stop ..


A good friend heard i was single and introduced me to his friend who was equally single and searching , we got talking and connected on some levels ,we have met and hes is an OK man , he wants a serious relationship that would lead to marriage and needs my full concentration on the journey (so he called it) he knows i just got out of a relationship and has given me time to think properly and know if i want to be in a serious relationship with him.


I am confused as to what to do because my EX is still begging me with everything, with promises of change ,promises of the relationship being on my terms and anyhow i want it ...promises of leaving alcohol forever so we can start afresh .the begging is so intense and its getting to me ....now what do i do?? forge ahead with someone new??? or give my EX one last chance because that's what he is asking for .


While i give him that chance; am i not losing out on what may turn out to be a wonderful relationship with someone new who doesn't drink at all since drinking has always been the issue with my EX ?? will my EX change for the better with all the promises that he is making right now ......all our friends are asking me to give him that last chance but i don't want deal with all i had to deal with in that relationship again.
please Stella i need your red pen:




*DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY LAST CHANCE otherwise if you are convinced to Marry him,you will spend your time sending in several Chronicles..Now is the time to walk out of the mess you call a relationship......When it comes to matters like this,do not settle for anything less than you know you deserve......
If i were you,I would take my chances with someone new

82 comments:

  1. I'm with Stella.

    Don't let your perpetually drunk ex get in the way of finding your true love. ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster do you watch keeping up with the Kardashians? Do U know Kurtney and Scott? Do you know how many hundreds of chances she gave? Do you know how many times he went to reharb? What of kloe and Lamar?
      Well, there are women built for such men who God has destined to be their help-meet either to accept them exactly as they are or to help them change. Now it's up to you to decide. That chant of automatic change is IMPOSSIBLE! He means it, yes but addiction goes beyond promises. It takes process, help,love and time to get through.

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    2. Follow your heart. Deep down you know what you truly want but bear in mind that your guy will still go back to that alcohol. You can’t change a grown up✌๐Ÿพ

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    3. move on girl. even if this new guy is not the one, it's better to see red flag and run than to be telling stories that touch for years to come

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    4. I don't have any say on this issue since you didn't tell us exactly what he does when he is drunk. Does he becomes violent? does he chase anything in skirts, sleep or flirt with other women when drunk? If these are the issues, then leave him and dont look back. But if it is a minor issue, forgive him and give him another chance.

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    5. Exactly... Give us details for proper advice

      Delete
  2. Say no to rebound.
    How do you expect a sincere advice when we dont know what exactly the liquor bottle pushed him to do??

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    Replies
    1. Poster they always beg..Sometimes you need to let some people go cos you are on a personal journey..He is an adult and should get his acts together but unfortunately he has to do it all by himself...Wish him well and give a chance to this new man..But I always advice that you take a break before you meet someone new..Make sure you heal properly, learn your mistakes and forge ahead..Bon Voyage...

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    2. No going back
      No last chance
      Say No to a perpetual drunkard

      Don't make a mistake you'll live the rest of your life saying'Had I Known'
      Bcos in most cases,they never do no matter how hard they try.

      Give yourself a shot at happiness, give the 'OK'man a try.[I'm not so convinced abt his intentions tho]

      Most importantly,love yourself and be happy

      Delete
    3. The unfortunate and pathetic case of Benjamin the werey.... Always yarning dust. Always lamenting and foaming when it comes to women related issues, peep his comments on Toke's post.
      The tales and Lamentations of an elastic mouthed, broke ass Nigerian man. Do us all a favor and shut your mouth sometimes.#Ekpa.

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    4. Odikwa risky. Veeery risky.

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  3. What makes you think the new man will do better than your ex?
    Why do you think he messing up is a sign from God that he is not yours?
    You didn't tell us the exact thing he did while drunk, that way we would know the gravity of what he did and how to advice you.
    Well, I'll say give him one more chance to see if he'll keep. His word about changing for better.
    You both can go see a counselor on steps to take considering his drinking habits.
    Please give him one last chance and pray to God to change.

    Sluttychic.

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    Replies
    1. Poster better don't follow this advice! Pray God to change a mere boyfriend? You drink shekpe?

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    2. Lmao, Queen. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

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    3. I am on the fence about this, but if you detest his drinking ways you can leave him but be wise the new man might be better or worse, take your chance.

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    4. LMAO @ shekpe. The last time I heard that word was years ago in a Sam Loco movie.

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    5. Aproko, you don’t get to ask me if I "drink" shekpe, I am not one of your little friends.
      We must not have same opinion, you don’t agree with mine, counter it without being ill mannered.
      I see how you go about being rude and cuss people out, don't try that with me. I try to be nice, but don't take my playful nature for weakness. For your mind, you Sabi talk abi, nor let me enter you.
      Some of you are even drunkards, you date men worse than drunkards but come here and pretend to be living the perfect life.
      With this nasty behavior of yours, you think you are better than a drunkard? Next time you don't agree with my comment, keep moving and don't come under my comment to talk nonsense.

      Sluttychic.

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    6. Aproko in a bid to be funny ends up being mannerless most times.

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    7. See epistle on top wetin? ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ warning me on a faceless blog๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ now i know you don't have sense

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    8. Aproko, you are the one without sense. Everyone is entitled to their opinion without you insulting them for it, even if you disagree.

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    9. Slutty
      if a drunkard has ever embarrassed you while drunk, believe me, you will not advise this poster to give him another chance.
      Last two weeks I saw one man lying down comfortable on the road side and he was drunk. The thing that came to my mind was his wife, children and the shame he will be causing them.

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    10. Slutty, don't expend your energy on that disgusting piece of thrash. She's way beneath you

      Delete
  4. Note that, when you pray and ask God for a sign, theres alot daily/weekly occurences.... & dont forget the devil is aware of the signs ure looking forward to, you know what that means. I wonder how you'all do it, if a flying bird shits on his head while ure talking a stroll, do you grab that as a sign?
    #Confused

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  5. Ok I admit, I haven't read to the end. Why? Because there is no nee need to, you mentioned your ex is an alcoholic. Please move very very far away from him. An alcoholic is not good for you even if he has all other qualities checked.

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    Replies
    1. Ppl give up the booze you know

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    2. Please stay away from an alcoholic man,he can't stop except it takes the grace of God,this wat my friend is passing through now she a widow with four kids to care for, please choose wisely okay.

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  6. I detest drunkards but I need to know what he did to you before I can judge him.

    Meeting a man that doesn't drink alcohol doesn't guaranteed a smooth relationship.
    The new guy's like a package, you can't know the contents till you open it..

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    Replies
    1. Don I am with u on this one. He might have other vices too. my issue is that she thinks this newbie is an Saint.

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    2. Don you are right. The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. The new guy might have a more terrible habit which you will get to knkw with time. Nobody is perfect

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  7. Stella tรญ sแป̀rแป̀, kรฒ sแป̀rแป̀ mo. Just follow the advice from Stella. Move on to the next guy.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Alcohol
    Mmmmhhhhh. I don dey yarn am here tey tey that alcohol can finish off somebody. When one is drunk, he steals fork like dogs. he/she can do anything.
    It baffles me that some Naija Sisis
    shak alcohol like fishes drink water.
    As for this poster, hope you read yesterdays update. Alcohol ended up taking away the "legitimate pounding ability" of that dude until he stopped and improved. Sugar is another thing and I've always talked about it here -story for another day.

    Again, I didn't see any mention or involvement of the Savior of mankind; Jesus Christ in this "new man's relationship/marriage preparations?"
    Okwa sincere ajuju o ๐Ÿ˜Š
    Are you waiting for things to go wrong before you begin calling on him?
    A "new man" does not mean he will remain new. A dude can do anything on earth to win a lady over. What happens afterwards is the issue.
    I prefer to go to the same God that
    "gave you a sign" to "give you a sign that this new man is the one".
    Shooting of uta is allowed o ๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜๐Ÿ˜˜

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ANG realize that there must be first a physical attraction, then spirituality will then follow suit..because we are humans..With a soul, spirit living in a body...Must be physical, spiritually and sexually attracted to someone (Not having sex with the person)...Of course the poster will not spell everything out but it shows she has a relationship with God..

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    2. For once I agree with ANG... on asking God to speak to you concerning this new man.

      Pls let the old go.
      You say you prayed for a sign, then he messed up and you took that as a sign. Why then are you asking if you should forgive and go back to him? Do you want to disregard the sign you say God gave you?

      You also said the new guy gave you time to go and think. That time should be spent asking God for His leading concerning this new relationship that you’re considering.
      Not whether you should go back to something God exposed to you. Except you’re saying you’re not sure that his misbehaviour is an answer to your prayer.

      Delete
    3. @Phonix
      Do you manufacture words for me?
      Okwa ajuju o
      Did I say there shouldn't be physical attraction?
      Don't you trust your creator to give you someone that
      will physically attractive to you?
      Is that why (you) people run away from "the only wise God" (search this statement inugo?)
      Please answer my ajujus o. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

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    4. Of course I trust God to do so..But still he gave us brains and a discerning spirit...God will only lead but you make the decision...The way you talk at times is like everyone goes to Okija shrine..Everyone has their own measure/level of faith...

      Delete
    5. @Phoenix
      See wahala o
      The lady was the one that told us first of all about her "level of faith"; God gave her a sign, wasn't she?
      So "okija shrine" is where you go for inquiries? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ
      Make I yarn you just one Scripture;
      Proverbs 16:4Sorrows will multiply to those who chase other gods.
      I will not pour out their libations of blood, or speak their names with my lips.

      Jisie ike inugo? ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

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  9. Borrow Usain Bolt shoes and run without looking back. Such people make promises in order to make you feel guilty and return to them but the truth is that once you return his drinking will tripple..pray for him from afar and consider something with your new love interest

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    Replies
    1. Lol @ Usain Bolt shoes. You people and words ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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  10. Please don't jump into another relationship right after another allow your self to heal. Just seek ye first the kingdom.Don't go seeking or doing all those match making. Your husband will FIND you in your place of service. Let go and let God.

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    Replies
    1. She can begin and maintain a friendship with him instead of doing away with him completely. He might turn out to be a good fit for her afterall.

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  11. If it were me, I'll give 'the ex'
    another chance because at this point I know his flaws, warts and all. We don't know what he has done but save physically/verbally abusing you, I don't see anything he has done under the influence that can be unforgivable.

    For the one you just met, he might have his own issues that you never get to see till you're under the bounds of marriage.

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  12. change ko buhari ni, don't give him any second chance. he will turn you to Nigerians suffering and smiling. come to think of it, do people still smile these days?

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    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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  13. I won't go back to a drinker and I would seek God's face to know his will regarding the new person, if I were you.

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    Replies
    1. Like seriously oh!

      How do people want strangers to help them take such decisions? Why not shut down and pray and seek Gods gave for the future? For all you know drunkard may have changed and new boo is pretending. Or drunkard is the same and new boo is better. But only God knows so ask HIM!!

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  14. In your state of mind, if the toaster hadn't happened, would you considered your ex with all his effort and intensity (in your words)? I read a quote recently " if you no resign from Oando you no go know say vacancy dey total". As complicated as it is for you, if you decide to move ahead with the newbee, do not expect so much from him at first. Some of us dey show our true selves after a while...in your shoes, I will wanna move on from my guy but stay off any form of relationship for a while. Good luck.

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    Replies
    1. Gbam! You said my mind and that is why I said I am on the fence something in me made me roll my eyes. I feel if this new man was not there, she would have taken that man back

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  15. Please,please and please don’t accept this one chance,one chance is the reason I’m with a life full of chronicles,he said he will stop Yimu,please don’t fall into this please,his alcohol will go on a massive level after you guys get Married,I’m talking from my present predicament.

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    Replies
    1. OP, this will be you if you take him back. ☝๐Ÿป

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    2. Eeeeeeyaaaa May God make a way for you.

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  16. People hardly change . Man's mind once filled with ideas can never regain its original dimension except Christ is involved. He may change temporary but he will go back to alcohol. He had 2 years to change. The new guy will have his imperfections, have you taken the pains to know them . An alcoholic is mostly likely to be violent and abusive. You know his weakness and you can take advantage of it.


    Alexander

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    Replies
    1. I disagree with you completely. People change when they want to and circumstances like this may help the guy to change.
      I smoked weed for straight seventeen years with break, I stopped two years ago and I never look back, nobody preach to me, I did not pray to God to change me.
      I woke up one day and I told myself, guy, you have done enough, end this today.
      So don't say what you don't know, people change, some need help to change, while some need a situation like this to change them.

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    2. I use to be a drug addict. I changed last year without going to rehab. I was determined to change. I told myself i can do it and i prayed to God to help me. Today i am a woman free from Drug abuse

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  17. Poster don't give your ex 2nd chance. Let him carry his wahala and go.

    As for the new guy, date and know him well before accepting his marriage proposal.

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    Replies
    1. Chike nwannaa, okwu gi kwu oto ka... Nice one, nice one.

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  18. Cos u have seen another guy,if another guy no dey,wouldn't u have given this one,second chance,abegii,everyone deserves a second chance,,, give it to him.

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  19. Forget about that your ex, he will still continue with his drinking sooner or later.

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  20. Poster please date the new guy. Leave ex alone, he won't change. He will only pretend to change then hurry marriage on you & then you both go back to square 1. Shine your eyes o make you no go regret.



    The Lifted mua

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  21. Please dear my best advice to you is that never end up with a man that can't control his alcohol level. They are always vulnerable.

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  22. Please dear run a way from such a toxic man. They don't change easily.

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  23. Do whatever is in your mind to do but know one thing: Your ex will not stop drinking because you want him to. He will only stop when he chooses to...it may be never. Are you willing to deal with a drunkard husband for the rest of your life??? And evidently, he messes up when drunk which is 'double wahala'! As for the new guy...take am easy...don't date seriously yet till your heart has been sorted out.

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  24. You’ve tried enough, how long would you keep giving second chance? Please leave him and move on with your life already.

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  25. According to you, you asked God for a sign and you saw one. You are still asking if you should give him a last chance???I don't even understand what you really want.

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  26. Dear poster the devil you know is better than the angle you don't know. Don't follow Stella's advice and this Bvs that know nothing of relationship. Well I don't know what alcohol made him do that got you pissed off but be rest assured that the new man has his own demons and dark side. At least your ex was focused on the marriage target.Do think twice before you decide,but in all you know what's better for you. You might be throwing away a diamond to go pick up a stone who knows. Poster it's how you take your relationship is how you take your marriage ooo. Nothing is perfect on this Earth.

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    Replies
    1. You have extremely low standards and possibly Stockholm syndrome.

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    2. Focused on the marriage target is your own yardstick? Na wa.

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  27. Mehn.....alcohol addiction na bad tin....if u must drink sef....na once in a while o....na wetin kill all my past relationship o.....I'm still single till now sef. If u love am and leave am...him go jam who dem go dey high togeda shikena

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  28. My sister an alcoholic is a no no. Just leave

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  29. but I used to think most men drink now or am I missing something? maybe he's a drunk .Abeg u know what to do already as u already said you'll be missing out on something wonderful.

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  30. Why do pple say stick to your ex because u know his flaws. My dear, everybody is different. Alcohol is a deal breaker for u so listen to yourself. Do u know some pple will stick to a cheat or violent person cause to them it's not a deal breaker. Alcohol is a spirit and makes pple do things they shouldn't do. My dear, he ll embarrass u and shame u. Who told u rapists and violent men dont have good sides. Pls leave this man alone, ur mindset should be, even if this new guy isn't the one I know God has a very good plan for me. Pls do not settle out of pity. Marriage on it's own is hard u need to go in with a responsible person and he isn't responsible.

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  31. Anonymous 02/201911 December 2019 at 17:17

    Well by what I experienced so far in life, I will advice you to move on, that ex of yours is addicted to alcohol, its something that being a devoted child of God will purge him of that addiction , I mean that he can only be set free when he gives his life to Christ evidenced by reading the word and meditating every day, that's what will keep him from going back to his vomit. Or if he is a very disciplined guy which I think not as evidenced by him probably beating you up and maybe having forceful sex with you. OK that being said, if you move into marriage with this guy you will always remind him of that horrible experience you had whenever you guys quarrel. When I met hubby he asked me if I'd go out with a guy who drinks and smokes, I said NEVER!!! it was after we got married that he told me he had to quit smoking and drinking, that he even smokes Indian hemp!!! God!!! I was shocked as I never noticed. He only told me he had brown teeth from eating too much chocolates abroad back in the days in the UK. He's devoted to being a better Christian so that is the thing. Move on please, try a guy who is not into such. Go with Stella's advice. May God guide your heart as you decide OK?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your husband changed while do you think her ex can't change?

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  32. All because he has the same goal of marriage, u want to marry anyone. so if a mad person has a goal to marry next year, u go along. My friend, give yourself some sense. You mentioned all the stress u have to put up with him, that means this relationship wears u off. please let this relationship go. u need peace and not some kid that cannot control himself with alcohol. don't give him another chance cos the next chance, he will propose and tie u up to a life of misery. Hear word now. Your friends probably like the freebies and fun they enjoy from your relationship. don't listen to them

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  33. God is quick. u asked for a sign, he gave u. U still doubt him.Do u think he will come down and say "my child do not marry him" every bad marriage began with "i will manage his bad behaviour, afterall the devil i know blah blah". Go and ask them now, if they will say the same thing now. They have all seen shege!

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  34. Poster take Madam Stella's advice, she nail it on the head. But if you still want to ignore it good for you.

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  35. Poster take ur time and think thru if u can live with ur Ex with d alcohol ish when married,cos he won't change trust me.. Don't rush things with d new guy either,cos he doesn't drink doesn't make him good for u tho..so take ur time and know him well too before accepting any proposal from him
    All d best,d sole decision lies in ur hands

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  36. Sweetheart, a very intuitive person once said "characterize people by their actions and you would never be fooled by their words". Your ex would promise you the moon, which is unattainable, just to get back into your good graces. You can't judge him by his words, judge him by his actions. That's the real man. A man may talk the talk but fail spectacularly at walking the talk.

    What you're feeling is very normal, darling, you left a man you HAVE strong feelings for because you're smart enough to know you can't cope with his drinking, it's not like the relationship ran its course. Subconsciously, you may even start judging the new guy by the standards of your ex, especially in areas where your ex scores higher. This is one of the reasons why you need some time off after a breakup, even if the breakup is at your instance. Going into a new relationship without first ridding yourself of all or most of the experiences of your past, good or back, is more often than not counterproductive. You may never appreciate the potentials of a new guy because a part of you still wants your ex.

    I don't know if this new guy is right for you, more unsettling is the fact that you already have a fixed time for marriage. If you are too determined to get married next year, you can't be objective in choosing the right guy for you. You will overlook some potential red flags, console yourself with the justification of "no man is perfect", and take the fateful plunge with him primarily because you both want to get married next year. Darling, which is more important to you, the "right" time or the right man? Typically, you should want to get married because you've found the right person and not find the right person because you want to get married. Your mind will play tricks on you.

    Though your pretty heart is breaking, let it break now rather than later. A man who can't handle his liquor is like a ticking time bomb. Contrary to popular opinion, alcohol only removes inhibitions, it doesn't turn you into whom you aren't. It brings our the REAL you, without the fear of judgement. Whatever traumatic event happened when he was drunk, is something he would really want to do if he is sure there would be no judgement or consequences. Going back to your ex is not a good decision, not even because there's a potential new kid on the block, but because your ex has waved a brilliant red flag, too conspicuous to ignore.

    My honest advice is, don't rush into this new relationship regardless of how promising the "journey" may seem. Remove the "I must get married next year" goggles so you can see this new guy for who he really is. Some men neither drink nor smoke but they have some insidious idiosyncrasies that may be latent for now but would definitely "come out to play" once they have you locked down. Be extremely vigilant.
    e-hugs and kisses.

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  37. Poster,he's never going to change. It will worsen after marriage.My husband insults, bed wet,vomits when drunk.You don't want to experience what I've been through.

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    Replies
    1. Your husband is a terrible drunker. Women are suffering in marriage.

      Delete
  38. Poster don't give any last chance o,so u won't enter last chance,your case will never be like mine dear, I gave many chances to d last chance and I even added last chance siblings.here I am oooooooo.for my life no more last chance,I don't even need a man to change Nada,if u don't suit what I want I go just Japa..
    Take your time and analyse your needs and wants very well,marriage is too long for anyone to endure shit.

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  39. Drinking is not a habit you can quit by saying it, I am sure the type of drinking he is into is the type that one throws up. How long do you intend to manage the situation and the person?
    You didn't tell us the gravity of his offence for us to understand if is something you can ignore. Drunkers find it hard to change and anyone saying they want to change because of you will never do so. If he stop after wedding night he goes back to his old ways.
    Thin well before you allow your friends push you into someone you will forever regret it.
    I think you should take a break from relationship for now while you clear your head. Do not allow your ex or the new guy rush you. Take some fresh air only then will you be able to make a better choice.

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  40. Dear poster, what do u know about the new guy? Why not take some break off. I once has an experience before getting married and am regretting it till today. If only I had forgiven my ex and maybe I won't be in dis mess of a marriage. My present hubby was such a nice n loving guy while we r dating but for d past 6 yrs d story as not bn desame. Think it through before you take the steps. God will guide you.

    ReplyDelete

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