Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Sunday, December 15, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Hmmmmmmmmm...








STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED OVER MR BLUE AND MR RED....


Hello 
Stella... thank you for all that you do. And thanks to bvs too. I brought an issue here before and the advice I got from bvs saved my situation. 


 Now to my issue. I'm a 24 year old woman. Done with schooling and Just started my business which by the grace of God is doing fine. I've had my share of relationships which has not always been funny or ended well. 

Anyway, I just moved into a new apartment,and I met a guy there. ( Il call him blue)He's 31 years old.At first I dint take him as anything until his constant care and concern towards me drew me in. We started dating since August and Stella I've never been happier.


 This is a man that understands me so well.i grew up without a father so I always asked God to give me a man that won't be shy to scold or correct me instead of dumping me when i act out of line. This guy has been everything. He helped my relationship with God get better. He encourages me and pushes me to my goals this has boosted my self esteem. I don't even know the last time I went to You Tube to seek relationship advice unlike my other relationships where I was totally lost.


 Is it now my business? This guy carries it on his head always advertising it and carrying my products to sell. Yet he still provides& takes care of me like a baby. 


One day like that,he sold a lot of my wares and came back with the money..I was so overwhelmed that I went to buy groceries for the house ( I'm always in his place). When he came back and saw it ,he was not really happy and he still found a way and refunded me the money. 

But my issue now is that he didn't go to the University. And he is from a poor background 

.plus he's the first son with a lot of responsibility. Compared to what I initially wanted in a man in terms of standard,he doesn't meet up though He has goals and dreams plus he's hardworking. but the family I come from might not be accepting of him. We are not rich per say but...and my mum is an academician.


 Imagine my 26 year old sis is already doing PhD.. it's just that I'm not really interested in all that book stuff.( I even have concentration issues) I want to grow my business by God's grace.

 Yesterday I was playing games with his phone and the spirit of snooping Stella warned against entered me so I went through his phone and messages. I was expecting to see side chick or whatever though he has never made me question my place in his life. but I was in for a surprise! He is planning on proposing to me on my birthday early next year .


 Even telling his cousin bro on how he's found an angel in me and has to move fast before another man takes over. When I saw this I was shocked .Stells and BVs this guy loves me and I love him too but his level is a hindrance in my heart
 when I think of spending my life with him.


 On the flip side,there is a 30 year old( il call him red) I've known for 2 years now. He's very well to do. he's not really as doting as BLUE. he's caring and likes helping people.hes been asking to marry me and I told him I'm dating someone and Stella I don't double date.

He said he doesn't want date but marriage On my birthday this year, red gave me a plot of land,met my family and all . I don't really love him though he seems like a nice family minded man and he loves God too. But he told me he will wait. We have not seen since that my birthday but we keep in touch on phone.

Last week he came to see me asking me to marry Him,. That he wants us to take each other serious so by next year we can take the next step. Stella and bvs,i don't know what to do ? Would blue change IF he EVENTUALLY makes money ? Should I consider red? Or should I just keep dating blue and see if another person comes along? Please 'help me I'm just an imperfect confused person now. 


I always prayed since I've been 16 that I want to marry by 25 and I l be 25 next year. Please Stella and bvs help me. I don't want to suffer poverty and I Also don't want to suffer emotional un-fulfilment in marriage.




Hmmmmmm both of them and caring towards you and the only difference is that you love one and one loves you...

One has money and loves you and you love the one that doesnt have money....
The one that has money is educated and the one that does not have money did not go to school and is the first son and has responsibilities?

The one that has money has proposed and the one that does not have money is planning to propose on your next Birthday?

Well you asked for views and advice?

What is a broke ass man doing proposing to you?where will he see money to take care of a family and take care of his family that depend on him?Advice him to go back to school so that he can get a head way in life please....It does not matter whether he uses his certificate or not but not going to school is also a big problem because of his mentality

Marry a man that loves you more than you love him ........
When it is time to settle down,use your head and not your heart........
Wake up to reality.....Mr Blue has nothing to offer you and even if you don't marry Mr Red,please do not marry Mr Blue....

Haven't you heard?Broke men are the best lovers...Wake up to Reality,love alone does not sustain a Marriage..WAKE UP!!!

111 comments:

  1. Seeking for help to choose between 2 suitors on a public forum doesnt make sense to me... you know them better than anyone else, no matter the details & descriptions you give, las las you'd follow your heart...
    #tossacoin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Benjamins. No need for me to type too much again. I was going to leave her to Don and Ceasar before. Me, Ayam not a soothsayer. 🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️

      Delete
    2. Can I ibtrodint you to Mr. Yellow

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    3. Can I introduce you to Mr. Yellow ?

      Delete
    4. @anon 20.46 .....speak for yourself, I concur plenty plenty with anon 16.18.

      Men in the house, never go into a marriage with a woman who you can tell is less in love with you, than the the love you have for her. It is a recipe for divorce and marital disaster and I'll give you my reasons supported with scripture.

      When that Ephesians 5 said husbands love your wife, its because by nature women are created to love easily. Its the man who has to build up his love capacity .
      Songs of Solomon 3 vs 1-4 . "By night I sought the one I love, but I did not find HIM........I will rise and go about the city ,I will seek the one I love . vs4. When I found the one I love, I held him(THIS IS A WOMAN SPEAKING) and would not let HIM go until I had brought HIM to the house of my mother"

      The love of the woman is already a foregone conclusion. It is assumed to be a constant K. It is the man who has to be encouraged to build up his love TO THE LEVEL OF THE WOMAN.

      Every marriage goes through its ups and downs, its only a partner that truly loves you that will stick around through thick and thin. The woman who got into it because she saw plenty money might not stick around with you if things ever go south!

      As for poster well ....lol. The issue I have with the first guy is his lack of proper education, I would always advise people to marry on the same IQ and educational levels,so your dreams and ambitions don't clash. Cos when the woman gets a good job etc it becomes very easy for the man to pick offence or feel intimidated. Except the man has a very healthy dose of self confidence .

      As for judging who will make a better husband by accessing their current pockets well , all I can say is that the physical eyes can be short sighted. A rich man today can lose all his wealth in a single accident, and a poor man today can be a dangote in 10 years .

      lOT (Abraham's nephew) chose the beautiful land .....30 years later that choice turned out to be Sodom and Gomorrah . sometimes we need spiritual guidance on such issues.

      I married my wife when she didn't have any job, but I saw love and ambition. Today she is the head of her unit and doing well .

      Poster be guided. Choose advice you listen to wisely.


      On 2 the Next!


      Delete
  2. When blue makes money, his real character will surface,, for now, he's Mr loyal...change is constant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Not all men change wen they make money

      Delete
    2. Stop using his educational background as excuse, just tell us he doesnt have the money u desire..... lie lie girl.
      Tell urself the truth, will u be confused of he had serious money?

      Delete
    3. I smell you are one of my Igbo sisters. My dear, if you don't marry by 25 you will not die. Don't put such limitations to yourself. But if you marry the wrong man at 25, you will be back here with sorry chronicle in no time. You don't have to marry Red either. Build yourself to a solid point and watch everything fall in place by themself.

      I once heard on saying that guided me when I was single. It says "Check your peace". If there is any iota of sadness, doubt or uncertainty, it means your spirit has seen the future and is fidgeting already. The worst illiterate to marry is omata boys. Their thought process will blow you away when real issues that is not money or business arise. If it is an Ebonyi man, you are finished, even if they went to school makes almost no difference.

      And by "he loves God" you mean "he loves church" bah? My sister's be confusing themselves that God is church spirikoko men.

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    4. I agreed with blackberry,when Mr blue makes money his real character will surface,so be wise.

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    5. Sister marry with your head oh. My hubby loves me more. He can walk bare footed for me. Was in same situation as yours 13yrs back,and guess what? I chose degree and the one that was 105% more in love with me.

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    6. Ei Ma'am Stella!!!
      As for this your advice...
      😦

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    7. Sapphire has spoken well.

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    8. Pls marry the one that has money and loves you more...you see the other guy once he makes money he will change...

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    9. Anon 16.24, are you me? Was in this same situation 12 years ago. Choose the 'poorer ' guy who loved me more. He was hardworking and focused. Guess what? The so called richer guy no fit see him back today. I have everything that money can buy today. I have no regrets whatsoever. He loves me like crazy till today. Dear poster, follow the guy who loves you more.

      Delete
  3. You actually don't know any of these mem. My advise put marriage on hold indefinitely when it comes to these men. You have been dating one for three months, the other you don't even know. I wonder why Nigeria men think once they mention marriage then a woman should run into their arms? Red flag! The thing with the uneducated man is you won't see the disparities now because of new love but they would come later and that might be an issue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But thats exactly what happens to Nigerian women, at the mention of marriage, they cant differentiate Pink from Green

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    2. Not to talk of red from blue. Kikikikikiki

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  4. Poster once you meet the perfect man there will be no need for you to send chronicle. You will just have this joy and peace within you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thrs no such thg as a perfect man.

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    2. But there could be a perfect man for her.

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    3. Perfect doesnt exist, compatible is the right word

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  5. Stella don't I just love you?
    I just fall in love with you over and again ��������
    I love the advice you gave to her.

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    Replies
    1. Me too. Very wise advice from a woman that has seen it all. Poster wake up. Marriage is for a life time.

      Delete
  6. You don't double date, yet you accepted the plot of land Mr RED gave you..is that not giving him the green light?
    As for Mr Blue, he seem nice and sweet, but what if he is acting cos he knows with you, he can achieve something? You know that feeling, marrying someone educated when you are not.
    Are you ready to swallow the stigma/side talks about his educational background? Are you proud of him?
    And what if his intentions are real, marrying a non graduate will be difficult because your parents will never allow that. They'd feel disappointed.
    Did you ask him why he didn't attend a university? Since he's making some money, why can't he go back to school, it's never too late.
    As for Mr Red, I don't know what to say about him. One thing about dating or marrying below your standards is that they'd never let you breath. If you react a certain way, they say you are looking or talking down on them. They always play the victim card.
    Let me read other people's advice.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Poster Stella did justice to your question, she broke it down one after the other. Broke men are so loyal than rich guys, you should make your choice wisely.

    Discuss with oga blue and ask him to go back to school, let him start school first. If you marry him without good certificate a day will come for something important that certificate will lower your chance of it. Let him get first degree then he can decide to face business but do not marry a man that has no certificate.

    You should not be despirate in settling down, do not marry who you do not love. Try to consider red a little, is possible you are carried away with how blue treat you the reason you don't love red. Red may not be the right man, please think well, blue may be romantic cos he want your money, he may be treating you well because he has plans after wedding. Shine your eyes oh, love alone cannot sustain marriage. Love without money na one Chance.

    Most cases when there is money but no love, the woman easily falls in love. But when there is love and no money the woman falls out of marriage without looking back some will cheat. Encourage blue to go back to school even if you cannot wait for hI'm atleast you have helped him

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  8. Epic advice from Stella

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  9. Yikes!

    I can't categorically tell you who not to marry but Mr. Blue seems like a good prospect.

    You said you are 24, why not chill a bit, give both men 1 more year and then time will help you decide.

    Focus on your business and let it solidify. That will give you more time to make the right decision.

    As cliche as it may sound, ask for God's direction.

    Nothing we will say here will ever trump God's will for you.


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  10. I don't have advice for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too...
      She accepted land from man she doesnt think she can marry, stupid girl

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    2. Lol...Don no like women who have men as options.

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    3. 😂😂😂😂😂

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    4. Lmao...me too, I tire.

      Sluttychic.

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    5. Thats true, greedy girl collect land from man she doubts she can marry, na the land and other gifts de confuse her. Thats how they enter one chance

      Delete
  11. hmm this is a serious matter that needs God's guidiance. The thing is there are broke men who geniunely do not like their broken situation and have a lot of potentials but opportunity haven't come their way. Whereas there are broke men who are just loyal for the mean time,after marriage they will show their true color..i'm not going to tell you who to choose and not to choose because sometimes marriage issues and choices are beyond the ordinary eye

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A broke man's taste and attitude is subject to change after those opportunities come their way. He too needs to wait to "Make it" before he decides what or who he truly is in love with.

      Delete
  12. That world got me "emotional unfulfilment in marriage". I married someone that's well to do, I never married him because of his money, don't even know he has up to what I later knew after wedding, but I'm emotionally unfulfilled in my marriage. People see a very happy me outside, but I'm far from being happy here

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thats the worst kind of prison you can find urself in... no bars, no security, no time of release.
      Small time now, cheating ideas will creep in

      Delete
    2. Awwwwwwww...try to be happy poster? Do you have kids? If you do, that's more than enough reason to be happy. Look at the brighter side of life. We all have one or more sacrifices we are paying. You will be fine 💓💓

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
  13. Please poster take Stella's advice o. A word is enough for the wise!

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  14. Hmmmm. This one is dicey o.. what if Mr Blue blow later in 2 years time will you forgive yourself for dumping him? Why not wait and don't rush you're just 24 and you're having this serious dilemma

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    Replies
    1. Abi ooo. You can never tell with this life.
      Poster goan watch Acrimony again, or watch it if you haven't before.

      Delete
  15. Stella scattered this table. I would have advised you to go for blue only if he went to school and wasn't the first son of his family like I did. My husband and i met the year we gained admission, he really showed me love and all that, his family background is way below mine as mine are learned and professionals in their field, but i saw something in him that made me stick around as he was not just caring but a great hustler provided it's something legal and his sincerity connected him to the business he is doing today. I was scared of bringing him up to my family as they always questioned my rejection for many eligible bachelors till he pushed me to talk to them, just one meeting with my mum, he won the heart of all. We may not be rich but we have little properties here and there from his struggles by God's grace and I rather starve than to beg my people for help but thank God that's not happening. But in your own case, it's a different one cos his family will always try to poke their noses and when he acts different, they will blame you for acting high and mighty and most of all, that little sign of inferiority complex will always be felt reminding him you are acting up because he is an illiterate, you better choose the one that fits your standard and leave him since you have doubt, i do tell my husband that if i didn't see potentials in him outside love,I would have regretted marrying him due to how some low lives from his side who always questions how he treats me behaves, single ladies even if you don't marry a man above your class at least marry some one in your circle, marriage isn't the same thing as dating, family plays a large role in marriage.

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  16. I didn't come to give you advice poster, I only came to laugh 😂😁😀 at the way Stella practically repeated everything in your chronicle.....

    my head is turninonyourown

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  17. Stella have said all.

    Marry your class. Broke guys are always loyal. You know if a man loves you when he gat the money.

    But again! Caring might also be his nature. Dear follow ur heart. But stella gave the best advise.

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  18. Instead of asking mortal humans this your Jamb question, ask the Almighty God

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  19. Go with Stella's advice, I rarely agree with her approach on issue but that 👆 up there, is so on point.

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  20. Stellar has said it, love is not enough, you won't understand till you enter. Hmmm I learnt this late. But I thank God for everything.

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  21. On the flip side though, don't marry without seeking God's face, marry for love ooo, especially the man who loves you more. It doesn't just end with level of education, that is flimsy when it comes to a man's relationship with his creator.

    Don't go and break his heart and God will look at his tears and lift him up beyond what you envisaged and you'll be there biting your hands in regret.
    Ask Nathaniel Bassey and Tim Godfrey.

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  22. Replies
    1. 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

      Delete
    2. Lol😀
      I suck at giving advice...so let me read all d advises both positive and negative.😂

      Chronicles is a school!

      Delete
  23. Stella said marry a man that loves u more than u love him that means she shld marry blue bcos blue loves her more.
    My sister first of all stop looking for a money bank be the money bank urself. Be an independent woman who spends on her family and stop looking for a man to spend on u. Can't u see that women this days strive harder to be richer than their husbands?? Bcos man has resorted to insult and shakara while d spend on u. Who wants that? Most women now are richer than their man. American singer CardiB just gave birthday gift of 500kdollars to her man and she's even richer and more popular than d guy don't u like such??
    School right now is very necessary but I tell u love matters alot!! Some are married to educated guy rich or poor and today cries in the marriage,hv education solved it?? My relative married a man who stopped at jss2 class out of love and she's a graduate, the guy is into business,today he has built beautiful house in his father's compound, built two houses in Lagos one for rent and one duplex for them. He speaks German,french,hausa and Yoruba due to his business.money is nolonger a problem neither is education. Their first child next year is moving to USA to continue his education.

    use ur heart ooo, cross-check d man if he has very good character in terms of love. Above all always henceforth tell God in ur prayers u want to marry A True Love,make sure u don't mention name or have a name in ur mind when making such a prayer and watch how tins will turn around..by the way am Married

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    Replies
    1. Good one 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

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    2. This advice is the truth!!!!!

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    3. The real truth. God's wisdom fall on you poster, pray and pray.

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  24. Mba Stella please I disagree with you red pen, money is not everything besides peace of mind with love takes it all, remember joy comes in the morning, pls stay with mr blue I believe something good will come his way very soon, don’t be biased with the society today of living rich after all u have ur business too. Pray my dear heaven answers.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Poster, money is not everything in life.
    Though the place of money in marriage can not be over emphasized.

    Offcourse, poor is relative. So clearly define poor cos
    Blue pays his bills and takes care of you. He believes in your hustle, supports you and provides for you. That dosent seem like a poor man to me.
    He came from a poor family and so? Did that stop his provision for you so far? And most rich people you see today were very poor and from very poor background. But their stories have changed. Why wouldn't his?

    He is d first son. Is it his making? Despite that isn't he taking care of your needs? And as d years goes by, the responsibilities will reduce.

    My dear, you didn't state if his spoken and written English are terrible. If not, not a problem. you can convince him to enrol at NOUN or run a part time program since it's very important to you and your family.

    My dear, these your reasons are too flimsy to me.
    You seem to be more compatible
    with blue and he seems like a man that dots on you and sees you as a priceless possession. I perceive you having a happy marriage with him.

    With red, it will be like an acquaintance marriage. You might not have a say in the marriage.
    He is already buying you with money. In marriage, you will keep mute cos he will know it's because of his money you married him.

    He might not necessarily love you more than blue, but sees a wife in you. That's all.

    My dear, how focused and self driven is blue and where do you see him in the next 5 years?
    Cos Blue seems the better candidate than red and I will suggest you build your empire with him.
    Don't loose a rare gem cos of material things.

    Lastly, and most importantly, take it to God in prayers.


    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you for this comment 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

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    2. Thankyou highly favoured.

      Delete
    3. Really nice comment but truth is, we can't really say.

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  26. when you are this confused it's a sign not to rush but take time to pray. so they are somethings that can change education can be gotten also money.but the purest form of love cant be gotten like that.
    my advice is to follow your heart.make a decison to choose love.But if this guys prospects aren't in view at all then choose the other guy.only u knows d true state of blue if there is hope

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  27. Stella, this situation can only be handled by God o. Poster, ask God to direct you. I've dated a very broke guy before and we really loved each other but we weren't mature. He couldn't even afford a haircut but I sha loved him. My family talked down on him once and that day I cried but I continued with him because i believed so much in him until his immaturity made me call it quits. By the time he had grown, I was no longer interested. By that time he had money (didn't come as a surprise to me). Today, we are both married to different people. He has better money now and is doing very well for himself. Don't condemn a guy just because he's broke. Pray to God for discernment.

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  28. My sincere advice for u poster is to keep ur options open. I was once in ur shoes as I was dating a skool cert holder nd I felt he loved me nd all bt I later realized that although he was older than me in age and experience bt dat education aspect can't b overemphasized dear. The ball is in ur court,if u feel u can cope with him not being educated then u can go ahead. E-hugs

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  29. Stella said it all.Please take her advice.

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  30. To all the men out there,please never marry a lady you love 100% !marry a lady that loves you more!the day you choose to marry a lady because you love her more, then be in for surprises especially when the lady is not into you,she wouldn't put an effort in it but when the lady loves you so much,she puts an effort in making the relationship works and if you are a sensible man, just reciprocate,and all will be balanced!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hian! So men are also advised to marry a woman that loves them most...women too are advised to marry a man that loves them more than they love the man. See clash of advises.

      Baba God which one we go follow na???

      Delete
    2. Lol 🤣🤣🤣 @Goodness and Mercy.
      Pay no mind to Anon 16;18. He is rambling. 🤣🤣🤣

      The man is to love the woman (wife) more. The woman is to respect the man/husband. Ephesians 5vs28-32.

      Even Adam fell head over heels in love with Eve at first sight.

      Poster, what matters to you most? What qualities do you want in a husband and which flaws can you not live with? Write them down and
      profile Blue and Red against those qualities prayerfully.
      Make no haste. God will give you an answer of peace.

      Delete
    3. As someone said, wetin Adele nor go see for the other side. 🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️🚶🏽‍♀️

      Delete
    4. @anon 20.46 .....speak for yourself, I concur plenty plenty with anon 16.18.

      Men in the house, never go into a marriage with a woman who you can tell is less in love with you, than the the love you have for her. It is a recipe for divorce and marital disaster and I'll give you my reasons supported with scripture.

      When that Ephesians 5 said husbands love your wife, its because by nature women are created to love easily. Its the man who has to build up his love capacity .
      Songs of Solomon 3 vs 1-4 . "By night I sought the one I love, but I did not find HIM........I will rise and go about the city ,I will seek the one I love . vs4. When I found the one I love, I held him(THIS IS A WOMAN SPEAKING) and would not let HIM go until I had brought HIM to the house of my mother"

      The love of the woman is already a foregone conclusion. It is assumed to be a constant K. It is the man who has to be encouraged to build up his love TO THE LEVEL OF THE WOMAN.

      Every marriage goes through its ups and downs, its only a partner that truly loves you that will stick around through thick and thin. The woman who got into it because she saw plenty money might not stick around with you if things ever go south!

      As for poster well ....lol. The issue I have with the first guy is his lack of proper education, I would always advise people to marry on the same IQ and educational levels,so your dreams and ambitions don't clash. Cos when the woman gets a good job etc it becomes very easy for the man to pick offence or feel intimidated. Except the man has a very healthy dose of self confidence .

      As for judging who will make a better husband by accessing their current pockets well , all I can say is that the physical eyes can be short sighted. A rich man today can lose all his wealth in a single accident, and a poor man today can be a dangote in 10 years .

      lOT (Abraham's nephew) chose the beautiful land .....30 years later that choice turned out to be Sodom and Gomorrah . sometimes we need spiritual guidance on such issues.

      I married my wife when she didn't have any job, but I saw love and ambition. Today she is the head of her unit and doing well .

      Poster be guided. Choose advice you listen to wisely.


      On 2 the Next!


      Delete
  31. Mrs Korkus may God bless you for this advice ma. Dear poster, do not marry that guy that is not educated, i repeat do not marry him. Tke it from someone that have first hand experience. I am a Graduate, i Married a Secondary School cert, we dated for good 13 years before marriage, though we met when i was in Secondary School. he loved me to the moon more than the way you described that guy up there. Less i forgot, he was so broke that he cant even afford to buy ordinary cream for me. He only gives me money when he earn any little money from petty job / opportunity, and he can give me all he has. To cut the long story short, i tried and developed him in the little way i can, i make sure i forced him out of the village bcx by then i was already in the city where i was schooling. This is someone that even though i offended him, he will be the one to be on his kneel to appologise to me. My entire family, friends and love ones love him because of his calm nature and the way he has proved his geniue love to in all ways possible. Not knowing that he was only loyal because he sees that the way things were moving successfully for me, he knew am gonna make it in life. I helped him out of the village and brought him to Fct. although i was still in one of the nothern state then where i was still schooling and working. Before yoh know it, things started getting better for him due to the nature of his job, he started making money. Within the space of 2 years, he built his own house in fct and living averagely comfortable. When i started visiting in FCT, i noticed that he has started changing, he dont pamper me like before, he do things as it pleases him, he dont seek advice from me again. Any small thing, he scold me, there was a time he even hit me for the first time in 11 yrs into our relationship. At that point i noticed that he has started revealing his true self as per the landlord that he is na. I saw the red flag, i want to opt out of the relationship but my family was carried away by his initial charisma, nobody want to believe me, they thought that bcs i am Graduate i dont want to marry him again or may be i had seen someone else. Although he pleaded and felt remorseful for his action and promise never to hurt me again. Fast forward to 2017 we got married and behold dear hubby change completely. His love reduce, he abuse me, he call me names, he dont have any regard for me, infact to crown it all his illitracy started manifesting, his think is very very ackward and has village mentality. He is self centered and argue blindly not only at home both in the community. The only thing that keep this marriage going is the fact that his entire family appreciate me and always pleading with me to have patience with their son bcx they knew how he behaves, and to the fact i myself i am very strong, if gives me hot hot i gives it to him back except if am not in the mood to face him. He has turned me into an angry bird, any slighest thing i scold just like the way he does. I hate men now. Infact let me stop here, i cant type again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @anon16:38 Chia...
      Dear poster, been reading comments please just seek God face in prayers. That's one thing I picked up from all comment. You are different, your destiny is different and your purpose different, God knows you before he formed you in your mother's womb. Go and ask God to direct you on this matter. Marriage shouldn't be casually walked into. To every single lady on this blog God will help us marry right in Jesus name.

      Delete
    2. Hmmmmmmm.... It is well, this is the story of a friend right now. May God guide you in making the right choice poster. When it comes to marriage, you cant tell from mere love shown to you afar wait and start living together that is when you will no who you marry.

      Delete
    3. It's a super story, a life of strife and sorrow, chai!
      It is well anon 16:38. May the Lord give you wisdom and see you through and thanks for sharing.

      Delete
  32. My dear,love is not enough, money is not enough as well. What if you marry the rich guy and life happens in the course of your marriage and he becomes poor ?(God forbid) no condition is permanent you see. please take it to God. He will direct you.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Someone said tell him to go back to school. Na wa o, as if uneducated guys don't stand any chance with a "schooled" girl. Na everybody go go school? So University certificate now guarantees a successful marriage okwaya?
    In the South East, the boys are sent to learn s trade while the girls are sent to the Uni. The settled boys marry the graduated girls, no be so. ( not generalising, but it's common)
    Poster, pray God to direct your path in marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Majority of those ladies are not happy, just that some of their husbands use money to cover their inadequacies.

      Delete
  34. .... And some of them make very good husband's. Who no get today fit blow tomorrow, that is life. God propose and man dispose it ( that's how I choose to say mine). Every of our life's path has already been scripted/planned/laid out by God. Na make we dey act sm dey go

    ReplyDelete
  35. August, as in August this year? A period of 4 months? Darling, it's improbable for a man you only met in August to understand you so well, help your relationship with God, encourage you, push you closer to your goals, has become your everything and makes you feel the way you do. If all these happened with 4 months, how do you know it's genuine and not your need for a father figure lover, over-exaggerating Mr. Blue's virtue. Sweetheart, If a man can be your everything after just 4 months of dating, then your daddy issues are getting in the way of your objectivity.

    Don't get me wrong, you can fall hard and fast for a guy without losing your identity. It should a significant period of time before a man starts influencing your way of life, that's if you let him. Sweetie, I'm not too comfortable with this your glee that he scolds you. He is your boyfriend not you DAD! please don't ever let that line get blurred. Your partner should correct you with respect.

    It is my considered view that you can't really know a man's true nature until you give him money and power. Also, time is a revealer of secrets. Just give this relationship time, you will see things unveiled. Within 4 months, a monster can masquerade as a lamb but as time passes, his claws and fangs will begin to appear. You don't know who Mr. Blue is yet, so don't get too excited. As for his lack of education, I will definitely be biased because I'm nothing if not sapiosexual. The advantages of a formal education cannot be overemphasised. I guess you will determine if that's a deal breaker.

    As for Mr. Red, you've known for 2 years, why is he wanting marriage all of a sudden without wanting to date you. I guess he is aware of your desire to be married by 25 years. Darling, marriage shouldn't be entered into lightly. I hope you have been reading stories here. Marriage is not a union you opt out of when the going gets tough or when it turns out different from your expectations, please be careful. Be sure before you make a decision that will literally change your life. Just because Mr. Red and Mr. Blue are on your case doesn't mean either is right for you. For all you know, Mr. Fuchsia Pink may pop up tomorrow and knock your socks off. Just give it time, the right guy will come and when he does, you wouldn't need to send your narrative to know he is the one.
    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I actually waited to see if anyone would mention her “daddy issues” before commenting and here it is. Good one, Ronalda!

      Gee, thanks for saying all I wanted to say. She needs to chill; Mr Blue and Red capsules can wait.

      Delete
    2. Poster read Ronalda's comment like a textbook. Pay attention.
      And if you have not been close to God and good at praying, start now.

      Delete
    3. Thanks, Andromeda sweetie.

      😍😍😍 right back at you, Castle my love.

      Delete
  36. A very horrible attitude. Double dating and taking advantage of 2 men. No advice for you

    ReplyDelete
  37. Marry someone who loves you more than you love him is my advice to you and as someone rightly said, when you meet the right one you ll have peace and there wont be any confusion

    ReplyDelete
  38. Lol
    Peace of mind and happiness should be your number 1 priority in everything in life. You'll never go wrong or have regrets with these two things.

    Other things that matters can come next

    ReplyDelete
  39. Ask God in prayers. But I am not falling for the antics of Mr Blue. It is always good for a lady to marry someone that is higher than her in every ramifications. It will make your journey faster in life. I am not saying u should go for Mr Red if u don't love him but don't go for Mr Blue. Broke men are always loyal. Look at the case of tuface and Annie it was when money came that was when tuface cheating attitude started manifesting. If u are made already I don't see the reason why u shud settle down with a broke man. U can help him in his educational pursuit but don't marry him. I have a guy that I intend to marry but I noticed he is the only educated person among his 7 siblings and all his siblings see him as a rich man. I just quit the relationship bcus if the guy don't his siblings money like before they will say the wife is the problem from there, in-law wahala will start. Use ur head love is never enough.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I am here to read comment.Stella you are too harsh with your advice o

    ReplyDelete
  41. What I picked from your narration;
    1. The one you love is blue -not a graduate, not rich but rich in character
    2. You DON'T LOVE red -Rich, you did not tell us his education status
    And you have already collected plot of land from red?😮😮😮
    Don't you see that red is a red-light?
    My ajujus n'ese okwu ooo 😊😊😊
    1. Why are you nursing the ambition of marrying someone that you DO NOT LOVE?
    2. Why did you receive a gift if you aren't planning to marry him
    3. Don't you see that the gift and "deceitfulness of riches" (google this please)
    is what is confusing you
    4. And the main ajuju n'ese okwu o
    "Blue brought me very close to God ...and I am always in his house...play with his phone"
    Did blue or is blue playing with the cookie jar and "chopping cookies?"
    Okwa sincere ajuju but n'ese okwu ooo ...because we do not want to read another
    chronicle of belle and shooting off or suffocation?
    Finally, your (academician) mom isn't going to live with the husband you marry,
    you will wear the shoe and only you will know how "he" is?
    Make I drop my ajuju mic. here o and allow any remaining ndi uta to scatter 😘😘😘

    ReplyDelete
  42. Non of these men is your husband. I suggest you stop having sex, since you want to marry next year and focus on prayers more.
    I will also add that life has taught me never to trust a poor man. They are never in their real character. And the one that is busy throwing money and presidential influence.... hmmmmmm. You don't know these men on a level to marry them. Except you want to do trial and error like our fellow sisters suffering and slaying in marriage. Why are you dating your neighbor bikonu? The proximity alone, can make you feel you are in love.
    Don't marry either one of them

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Suffering and slaying in marriage, choi! Wetin I nor go read for dis blog. But you are right sha.

      Delete
  43. My dear, know their zodiac signs, Ask for birthday dates, and read extensively about it, u Will know what to expect.Thank me later

    ReplyDelete
  44. 20:28....lol zodiac sign,to choose a husband? Lmaoooo, u better scroll back up and read to realistic advice or better still turn to Jesus!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Girls will never hear to stop collecting things anyhow. When your sense of reasoning is now clouded, you end up making the wrong decisions.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Poster, go and ask God.

    1) That you prayed since 16 to marry at 25 and the deadline you set is approaching, doesn't mean you weren't talking to yourself when you thought you were praying.

    2) Why exactly you're behaving like an entitled thief and collecting a plot of land from a man that is not your father and you haven't agreed to marry, only Jesus knows. You've even allowed him meet your family and tomorrow now, you will say they pressured you into marriage.

    3) This thing of marrying a man cos he loves you much more than you love him, is why some married women cheat. Cos when you meet the person you really love, even wedding ring may not be able to stop you from doing wetin dey your mind.

    4) I'm not sure how poor the first man is (and the character shown by a man who doesn't have money yet may not be real), but what does the rich man actually do for a living? As you say you're not dating him, you don't actually know him so what's your proof that he's not doing something shady?

    5) You're always in one man's house and already playing wife & entertaining proposal from another man, why won't you be confused?

    ReplyDelete
  47. I got married to a man who didn't go to school and is the bread winner. He is so hardworking and he loves me. But the family wouldn't let me breathe. Sometimes I feel like running away. Pls face red. Blue's relationship with you will tire you eventually

    ReplyDelete
  48. Stella you are one funny woman

    ReplyDelete
  49. Psychologically, the colours you picked as representatives for your suitors tells me that subconsciously you've already made a choice but you are ashamed of the choice you've made thus, you decided to seek public opinion on a public forum. You're looking for an excuse or a way out. Infact I think you are slightly disappointed in yourself too. Secondly, any man that comes to you professing married without dating has an ulterior motive which most of the time is not genuine. Probably trying to turn your eyes away from all his negative traits. Still this is my opinion but it's your life so pray hard and choose wisely. Remember, no condition is permanent.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Psychologically, the colours you picked as representatives for your suitors tells me that subconsciously you've already made a choice but you are ashamed of the choice you've made thus, you decided to seek public opinion on a public forum. You're looking for an excuse or a way out. Infact I think you are slightly disappointed in yourself too. Secondly, any man that comes to you professing married without dating has an ulterior motive which most of the time is not genuine. Probably trying to turn your eyes away from all his negative traits. Still this is my opinion but it's your life so pray hard and choose wisely. Remember, no condition is permanent.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Choose neither red nor blue keep praying n trusting God for an answer

    ReplyDelete

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