Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Thursday, December 26, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Hi Stella

Please I need advise from my fellow blog visitor. Please pardon any errors as am in pains typing this.

My husband likes to keep female friends even though he knows I’m not comfortable with it, before we got married, I saw a female panties and slippers in one of hi’s bag the day I came to visit, I asked who’s panties was that, he told me a friend, although i have met her before in Abeokuta . 

He said she came to Lagos to write exams and she doesn’t know anyone except him, so she decided to crash at his place. 

Another lady he claims to be friends with from childhood slept at his place, I found out because I saw a postinor 2 in his dustbin and a travelling receipt from Dubai in the girls name. when I confronted him, he said she came with a guy to his place from Dubai and started accusing me of snooping again, I ended up apologising.

 There are other female friends he claims he’s friends with but will excuse himself when I’m present to go receive calls and that is where my curiosity begins, I asked him who this person is, he tells me they are friends. 

We got married in 2012 and I was thinking all that will stop, but it continued, he even talks to his ex girl friend, telling her she is beautiful the lady also sends pictures of her Tummy to show him her once flat Tummy is now getting bigger. 

When ever I complain, he tells me I’m insecure and I love snooping. At the end of the day, I always end up apologising. Before we travelled out of the country, there’s one of his female colleague, her name begins with an N, my husband works very far so most time he comes Home late and when he’s home by 11pm, he keeps talking to this N lady while am there, I always feel disrespected and tell him to stop doing that, I mean he’s been with this lady since at work, what is there to discuss that you can not discuss at work the next day.

 I tell him, when he’s home, he should face his family. Although I got to meet the lady and she’s a happy soul but sometimes I still feel angry with so many things he did while they were friends. I would have mentioned them all but that is in the past, I want to focus on the present. 

Fast forward to now, we left Nigeria for another African country, before we left Nigeria, I begged him to stop with this keeping of female friends and he should not try it in this country we are going to as the girls are very desperate here and there are many cases of HIV in this country. Oga did not Listen, he met another female colleague and this time, they start texting themselves at 11pm while I’m in the room, he’s in the other room texting.

 During this period i was 7 months pregnant, there was a day he left home and said he was going to work, unknown to him, I knew there was no work that day. 

My husband had booked a room in an hotel and he went for this lady’s party which was held there. I later found out and asked him but he denied it. I cried my eyes out that day and he totally ignored me and went on sleeping, this was 2 years ago. He left the company and started working somewhere else, in my own mind I thought since he’s not working there, they have stopped talking, this man kept communicating with her and meeting after work or during work hours.

 We had a big fight about it and I told him I’m tired of the union already, we sat down and talked and for the first time, he felt remorse because I had to pour out my mind and told him what i have been stomaching for all these years, he promised he won’t be friends with this lady anymore, he also told me there was nothing between them and that they are friends because she trying to get a contract for him. I told him if you want to be friends with this lady, set boundaries. 

After the talk I believed they had stop communicating like before, I also told him to stop deleting their chat on WhatsApp if he claims they are friends. after that, i checked their what’s app messages and saw their chat discussing on the contract. Fast forward to a year later, the new company he works for have other branches in other African countries, so they sent him and his other colleagues to go work on some projects there, this was February, so I just discovered now that this lady was at that same country with him during that period, I was devastated, I confronted him and told him I knew and he didn’t deny it, He said he told her he was traveling and she said she wants to come. 

He told me he can’t tell her not to come. I even told him I knew this lady saw you and also came to your hotel. He said she just came to see him and they went to an eatery and then they entered a taxi, he dropped at his hotel leaving her in the taxi so the taxi can drive her back to her hotel. I told him he was lying and he said he’s done talking because there’s nothing he would say that will convince me. he always says this each time we have issues regarding things like this. That was how the conversation ended. 

A week later I told him we needed to talk because the issue was still bothering me, he started shouting at me and saying all sort of things like I’m very insecure, and all that. He has told me nothing happened between them, they are just friends and nothing more and I’m free to believe whatever I want to believe. 

My people, I don’t know what to do anymore. I have told him several times that this thing he’s doing hurts me. But he’s saying I can’t tell him not to keep female friends. But he never make friends with the responsible ones. He’s also ready to loose this marriage because of that. Oh! I forgot to mention that I, this lady, and his ex girl Friend both look alike, we 3 have a striking resemblance. 
You will think we are related. 

At this point I feel like he’s tired of the marriage already and I also feel tired. 

I’m really confused. I’m just 28 years old and he’s 36, I have been experiencing this since I was 20years. I got married at the age of 21. I dated him for 3years before we got married.

 I have been jobless since we got to this country because I don’t have a work permit but i just became a permanent resident. I’m trying to put my life back and get something doing because I’m a graduate, maybe that way, I can focus on myself and just leave him be. Please I’m fed up already i didn’t imagine my marriage will be this way. All have ever wanted was a good marriage and one that I will be happy in. But most times I have experienced hurt, sadness and even emotional abuse, sometimes during the cause Of our argument, he tells me I’m possessed and stupid and so many other curse words. 

this man is killing my self esteem. although this man really takes good care of me and the kids financially, he gives me almost anything I want, he paid for my university fees from 100 level till my last year and I’m grateful for that. Am I doing something wrong, I’m i Overacting, is it possible or okay for married men to be friends with female and things like this don’t mean they are in a relationship, am I being paranoid or insecure just like he always says? Please I need your advise.

*WOW that was a long read!!!
It is possible that he is having a relationship with all these women and it is also possible that they are just friends...Some people can only keep friends of the opposite sex..Maybe you are indeed insecure and maybe you are not...
Thing is you have not seen anything concrete that shows he is cheating...

Maybe you should concentrate on getting your life back and doing other things as well.go out,find friends to hang out with and watch what he does....

If he is really serial then you have a problem with possibly being gifted ST or STD or even the bigger ones!


  1. Sorry madam your husband is a cheat.
    Tell him to start using condom on you cos you don't trust him.

    1. 💝 oshey!!!!

    2. Tell him this he will just ignore you cos he does not care.
      Sometimes situations make people realise how much they are loved or not.
      Don't die in pain because of a man

    3. Your husband is a cheat. I just reel angry reading this...keeps telling you ure insecure whereas your instincts are right. Stupid man...

    4. He is a cheat. He won’t change and it will only get worse. Same thing happened to me. With 2 separations, b gongs, coming back and saying he has changed , still same. I am talking 15 yrs of marriage . Decided to receive sense this yr and called it a day. Start planning your exit.

    5. Dear poster, I empathize with you.

      1. Please read Steve Harveys Think like a man, act like a Lady.

      2. Concentrate on empowering yourself financially

      3. Ignore him. Cook his meal but start having meaningful friendships, enjoy your life, be HAPPY!

      4. He will change when he realises you don't give a fuck.

      I've been there and my happiness is the most important!

    6. For the singles this is another reminder that marriage cannot change what you were experiencing together when dating. Marriage instead enhances what is already there.

      Madam epele ooo. You have really passed through a lot. I don't even know what to tell you.

    7. I got here late.

      Poster; you have to CHANGE!!!

      The more you whine; the more he misbehaves. This cycle will NEVER stop till you CHANGE!

      Now how do you change? This will be hard; but for your sanity and peace, it will be worth it.

      Activate IGNORE button in your subconscious! If he likes let him be talking to 1billion women, e no concern you!

      Dust up your contacts book and look for old friends (I am sure his behaviour has even stopped you from socializing for fear of him showing himself around your friends).

      Ask God to lead you! Many women are in pains looking for a steam off from their inconsiderate men. There must be one friend somewhere that will have your time. When he's home make LONG calls and laugh so hard like your lungs are hurting so bad!

      Stay away from his phone. Get back your life in order. Go for runs. Register for dance classes! Just do things to keep you happy and fulfilled without him.

      When you finish and observe and he's not changing; accept your loss and understand you married devil's bro and EXIT that marriage.

      But if your change* causes a change in him; take that leverage and stamp how you wish for things to be henceforth. Surely, he will oblige fearfully and start respecting himself.

      All the best

    8. @Poster, the signs were there (ladies' panties, postinor 2, etc) but you ignored them. Your guy is a perpetual womanizer that only Christ can change.

      I advice you to get busy and channel your energy somewhere else as nagging only makes things worse and breaks you.

  2. Stella leave that talk. Poster your husband is a serial cheat/womaniser. Yes.

    I wont advise you leave him but choose what makes you happy. Most of you ladies see this signs while courting but choose to turn blind eyes.

    I really feel for you thou. I wonder why good women like us dnt get to meet good men. Sending you love honey.💖💞💝

    1. So How did you conclude she's a good woman? Just by reading what she wrote? Okay


    3. Beevee,why are you shouting with pain?Are you one of those bitches who latch on married men claiming friendship while sleeping with them?This matter is really causing you mega painment o!

    4. Hain why are you shouting? Odiro that serious nu.

  3. How do you expect him to change when you saw all these and still shook head. We die there matter.

    My friend try and safeguard your Toto well before HIV kill you. South African carry am plenty.

    You are at his mercy because you don't have job. Why don't you tell him you want to enter uni there, so that within 4 years you might start doing something.

    Sorry ooo your horseband is just wicked

  4. I remember stella telling me this exact word early this year. Almost a year now. "STAY AWAY FROM HIM! HE IS SERIAL. Now I understand better.


  5. You are not over reacting. Every woman wants her husband and home protected. Your husband is so disrespectful with the way he makes friends with these women. If roles were reversed, would he feel comfortable?
    He always says you are insecure to shut you up... he is a manipulator.
    There is nothing wrong in a married man having female friends, but it should be done sensibly and respectfully. These his female friends, don't they have sense of decency at all? You know this man is married, yet you won't give him space. Don't blame them, your husband gave them that free hand.
    Your husband is a liar, a cheat and a manipulator. He is sleeping with some of these his female friends. Why does he have to delete his chats with them?
    Poster, I feel your pain. I can imagine the emotional trauma and stress he is putting you through.


  6. Personal and business loans chat me up 0810650968426 December 2019 at 15:15

    Poster am very sorry but you married a chronic cheat!cheater

    1. Why would you get married at 21, oga saw you as a Jew Sallie he will be using her head. But now you 're getting wise

  7. Same issue Ceec had with Tobi..
    Same issue Solange had with Jay-Z..
    You cannot leave your partner and be 'friending' up and down and partying with other women. Most times it leads to something else, even if not physical..emotional relationships exist. And are as dangerous or worse than physical. They end up telling their 'friends' personal things that should be kept only between the couple. I personally don't like it, and will not be with a guy who does that.

    My kind of guy is my Uncle. Dude is tall & handsome like RMD but with a mysterious look. Oh, women trip and swoon over him. But he snubs them eh, doesn't talk much to them and sticks to his wife. That's my kind of guy. If you're not family, you can't get into his soul.

  8. Dear poster come closer, my hand wants to tell your face something 🙄🙄
    You found a lady's panties in a man's bag and he cooked one gibberish for you, then you swallowed it?? He chats late into the night, insults you and all of that and you believe that what you're in is a marriage?? Marriage of convenience maybe.
    See why I hate all the he saw me through school yenyenyen?? He's giving you money but insulting you, yet you won't dust your ass and get a job?? You're still wondering "if it'll get your self esteem back"?? In this 21st century??
    Wait till he gives you std or starts bring girls home, then you'll know you're not paranoid 🚶 🚶 🚶

  9. Very long read indeed...
    Poster if all you said is as it really is then your husband is very disrespectful of you and also manipulates you. What is it with men and their Exes/ unnecessary female friends? even at te expense of his marriage? He is a married man now and should set boundaries...if he wanted the freedom to do whatever pleases him then he should have remained single.

    Imagine someone hurting you and then you still have to apologise again and again just because he has obtained a Phd in flipping scripts.

    Please for now always make sure you protect yourself when you guys get intimate, pray hard about your marriage and seek God's guidance and direction...finally find something to do to distract yourself.
    Sending you E-hugs.

  10. Poster your husband saw you as a naive person right from the moment he started dating you.
    I think he sees you as someone who won't get angry over issues or want to walk away from it hence this disrespect he is given you.
    See he might be cheating and he might also not.
    But the moment a man starts doing what you said he does then he believes you no will or power to do anything... Texting another girl while with your wife and going out to receive calls is a total disrespect from him.
    You have noticed it from the moment you guys were dating you saw a lady's pant and another time postinor,and you just accepted what he told you about it,can you see why I said your husband sees you as a naive lady,so he believes he can choose to disrespect you without you nagging about it.
    I have a whole lot of female friends but I use to set boundaries no matter what...your husband should be able to do that and give you that respect but you gave him the leverage to continue doing that to you because the way you handle the issue when you were dating isnt cool.
    Ladies dont be scared of losing that guy if you are seeing some signs you cant put up with thinking he might change...try and stand your ground let him come running to you that he is a change man what concrete prove that he is.
    Poster I'm sorry there is nothing you can do about it,you just have to learn to live and deal with it.
    Cos you know about it right from day way but you choose to listen to a stupid reason he gave you.

    1. Guam, she married as a s mallie now she is getting older and having sense

  11. Oooh dear, u married a dog gal. First ofs, don't kill ur self,makes no difference. Work on improving urself, get a job, look nice and smile a lot. Take care of ur kids, ignore ur hunchback. Use condoms or stop having sex wit him. Get a dildo,use it and keep it where he will see it. Thinks he has a spec, not bad, at least when u see a lookalike, u know she's ur rival. Biko,stop snooping, this type can give hbp. Cheers

  12. You type worships a man cos of money,you saw all the signs and still entered.he has no respect for you,no love,his type you dare not keep male friends.
    You started dating him at 17 or 18,
    He was more mature and could easy manipulate you.
    You still kept opening your legs for babies with all these...
    Some women sha..
    Money is not everything.
    Marriage does not mean loosing yourself and been happy.
    You see these type of men they feel with money they can do and undo.
    Get a job,start ignoring.
    Genuine ignore,
    Let him be.
    Face your life goals,
    Go out and live your life and stop feeling his absence..
    His female friends should fill your space since Ur complains are significant.
    Discover your inner self.
    It will End in two ways,
    If he loves you he will seek your attention.
    Or he will ask for divorce(he never loved you.
    Is better for in-laws to disturb than your own spouse to give you continual headache.

  13. This is what I'm trying to tell you ladies all the time but instead of taking my advice you people will start talking trash.

    Poster the reason you find it difficult to leave that marriage is because you depend 100% on your husband financially.

    See ehn, if you as a lady depend on a man 100% financially, it takes the special grace of God for that man to value you.

    In his mind, he feel he can offer you anything you need but whatever you as the wife fill you can offer him, there are a million and one ladies out there to offer him that.


    1. is it all possible? like can every woman have financial buoyancy before marriage? where is the support in marriage? I can marry and still go ahead and make money. The way you people go about this thing ehn.. hian

    2. @ Chike TEFLON the man that would not value his wife because she's not working and would value her because she's working, is only valueing the job and the money she's bringing and not necessarily her.there's something called genuine love if a man loves a woman he'll not hurt her working or not working.

    3. @15:56, chike is actually right. Money is power, and success is valued& respected. Not just in this case but life in general. If you are successful and/or rich (legally), your parents will be proud of you, your siblings will call you more, friends will claim you, your kids will look up to you. My Mummy is a doctor yenyenyen.. Even your school alumni group will be looking for you up and down to donate something to them, your own self esteem is what it is.
      @15:42, True not every woman will have financial freedom, in fact marriage most often blocks career while some are lucky marriage makes them rich, and that is why you must choose your spouse carefully cos that choice plays a big role in the direction your life will take.

    4. There are career women who are married to cheats. Women who are well off financially, who are even responsible for the finances of their homes and their husbands are cheats. What would you say about them?

      For your info, there are men who their wives are dependent on them 100% that have never cheated on their wives.

      It's high time women stopped blaming themselves and each other for their husbands' cheating.

    5. @16:48 well said.there are no rules to this thing called life and marriage.nothing in life is guaranteed.even life itself go end one day.

      A cheat is a cheat no matter the excuse you all try to less of a serial cheat

    6. Exactly
      Las las a cheat will always be a cheat. It doesn't matter the calibre of the wife. But if a woman has a good income she can easily leave if things get unbearable.

  14. Poster if you saw all the red flag during dating years and you went ahead to marry him, that means you accepted his personality, his attitude and i don't think you should be complaining at all.

    A 36 years old man behaving like a 20 years old boy will never change except God touch his heart. I will advise you get a job, get occupy maybe that will take your mind off from snooping, constant confrontation, too many finding out, plenty asking questions.since your husband is always doing everything for you and the kids, why don't you concentrate more on your kids that giving yourself high blood pressure.

  15. find your happiness madam.. Go out and make friends. From church and be genuinely interested in your own Life. leave him alone because he sees you as a nagging wife.

  16. Chat with people and make video calls in his presence. Don't dull your life for no one. He doesn't care. You owe your life and start living.

  17. Not to sound insensitive to your plight but why marry someone who has a behaviour you can't condone? You saw a female pant in his things before marriage and how he kept female friends. You know you are the jealous type and you can not tolerate such but you still married him and now want him to change?

    Oh well God is still a miracle working God, maybe he will change but if Iam being sincere with you, I will say stop trying to sit on your husband's happiness as he didn't hide this traits from you, yet you accepted to marry him. I will tell you to list the positives and negatives of this marriage and sincerely be true to yourself if you can continue or not. If you can continue, like someone said up there, go on a condom only journey. Don't complain about all those things. If he sees you are not bothered anymore, he will make a change himself. You have told him enough, it's time to ignore him.

  18. My dear if he takes care of you and the kids , please go and improve on yourself. Tell him to use condoms or better still buy them and keep in the house. Run sti and HIV tests every three months OK . if he's upset, tell him you don't trust him. The truth is that he's a terrible cheat and only God can deliver him. Start praying for him, ask God to convict him. Then thank God for setting him free. Just keep doing that whether you don't see a change, don't complain , continue praying, he will definitely change.

  19. Get a female friend and save her name as a guys own.Let this friend have nice things to say to you.You know what can make him jealous,be distracted whenever he’s home,Laugh and giggle when typing to this friend.I can send you my number,I am a woman based outside naija too.Two can play the game

  20. sorry MA, but I think you need to calm down. you have checked and there's nothing right? can he cheat and hide it for 7 years? I don't believe it. Maybe he feels less judged when he's with women, maybe his male friends are bad influence and he's running from them?. Maybe he grew up amongst sisters and he's really good with females?Maybe that's just him. you are young and beautiful, he is not cheating on you,without a doubt in my heart I believe so. They may be throwing themselves at him, but I still have this feeling that he's true to you. Do you prefer he makes those calls in your presence? can you handle what is coming from her end. I believe moderation is key. Nothing is too hard for God.How about you both pray about it, and you alone pray about it? cheer up baby girl. All is well

    1. I hear......

    2. This is either the husband or one of the female friends.
      Daalu ooo!

  21. Stella, let's call a spade a spade shall we? He is a serial unrepentant cheat, i want to advise you to put your feet down and make a decision. You either leave him and have peace cus this cheating brings so much bitterness and hurt or stay remove eye and accept he is a cheat and probably use protection or no sex at all. But from what I've read only God can change him.

  22. I stopped at "I was thinking all that will stop" God help us all. Dear bvs it will be stupid to read stories like this and still fall victim. I have learnt a lot here and offline. Ladies, please I know life can be unpredictable but don't settle for less. I will read comments sha as I no even read am finish.

  23. Meow Meow...Your husband is a serial entrepreneur.

    Is it not on this blog they said marriage is a bale of thrift clothing?

    1. ‘ is a bale of thrift clothing’
      Okrika? 😅😅😅
      So many words!🙃

  24. Why. Did you think what existed before marriage will cease to ex6 after that

  25. I don't know if we just come here to type. I screenshot so many words of wisdom wisdom here. A bv once said"any act you can endure while courting be ready for double dose in marriage " Stella please I suggested you post lessons from all these chronicles as a post, I know it's strenuous but it's disheartening to see bvs falling neck deep again.

    1. Do you know if this poster just got to know about this blog?

    2. Bia kemikane no allow us use cane flog you o.

  26. Dear poster
    Please kindky have the patience to read below what i am about to type.

    I got married a year before you, precisely May 2011.
    Your story was similar to mine until i decided to face my life(career)
    I know you love your husband but you are beginging to care too much maybe because you are idle.
    Talk is cheap, Infact the cheapest thing on earth.
    It's not just by talking about getting your life back but by writing down your goals on your diary with each milestone.

    You have to MAKE friends too, preferably male friends.Yes my dear you need that too.
    Your husband should also get worked up over you too.

    Your nagging wont change anything.
    It will keep making you look so insecure. Trust me when i say your husband wouldnt want to loose his family over 5 mins pleasure.

    Work towards your goal
    2020 is around the corner.

  27. U are really insecure. Y don't u go back to school and do ur masters or run a new course or embark on a new project or join a gym to build back ur self confidence. Get ur groove on and make more friends especially male friends. Accept hangouts with friends and be happy. Don't revolve around him. Let him be.

  28. He might be cheating. But also He might not be sleeping with those ladies yet. And you were seeing what is not there.

    Poster I suggest both of you should watch WAR ROOM together.

  29. I wanted to speak harshly to you but then I realised that you have been with him since you were 17 years old. The guy is a serial cheat and an open one for that matter. However, you need to buckle up. START SAVING!!! As in really well. Tax him for anything and everything as he has too much money, time and opportunity on his hands. Start looking for a job/business to do. Go and check yourself out for STIs sharpish. Don't bother talking to him anymore. He knows you are all mouth and no action. Kill him with silence instead. Secure your future and that of your children as he will never change.

  30. Poster I'm sorry but u married a isn't everything tho!start looking for what to do so u won't depend on him..use condoms if u must do d do to avoid diseases oh
    All d best

  31. Dear Poster, have it at the back of your mind that this guy is cheating on you, just understand that and stop questioning your self/sanity.
    Most cheats are liars, they have to be, else they will be apologizing every now and then and they don’t want that. They’ll rather accuse you of being insecure, possessive etc.
    My advice? Get your life together! If only women are taught at an early age that NOTHING, I repeat, NOTHING should stand in the way of their economic empowerment, some mistakes would be avoided. This man doesn’t respect you and he is very manipulative. ‘He takes care of me and the kids’ yeah because he has more than enough. If he was just average financially, then you will feel the brunt of his misdeeds because the little you have will still be shared between you and the roaches outside. One can’t advise you to walk out because 1) your faith/belief may not agree with that; but more importantly 2) you don’t have the financial freedom needed for such boss moves.
    So please go to school, or start a biz. Do something that will take you out of the house, that will keep you occupied. Don’t give a damn about what he does outside cos he has shown you in more ways than one that he doesn’t care about how you feel. With time, you will have the financial freedom you desire and that will suddenly keep him guessing what your next moves may be. If you then decide to walk out, you will be able to walk the talk.

  32. God forgive me o but poster you sound retarded! See all the things you actually SAW before marriage and you still went ahead to marry him? Really?!!! This man told you who he was, he showed you for heaven's sake! Please DO NOT COMPLAIN. You accepted this man's cheating before you married. Honestly, he has done nothing wrong to you so why are you complaining? Please leave us alone.You married him knowing him. He didn't hide anything from you. You were so desperate to get married and answer Mrs, so what do you want from us?What advise should we give you? Please I don't understand women like this, I really don't! It is for better or worse, live up to your vows ma'am!

  33. Wos! Wo bi madam poster, do all you can to get a job, then you can start ignoring your husband, make friends (not friends with benefits O) make sure their status is better off your hubby and have fun! Confide In one or two of them and tell them to call you whenever he is home, laugh, crack jokes with them, take vacations and tell him your company sent you on errands, make sure you insist on him wearing condoms whenever he wants to make love to you, sometimes tell him you are tired, you don't just quit your marriage, give him a taste of his own medicine too.

  34. Who told you done girls in a particular country are desperate, how did you confirmed that?
    You're the desperate one here because you saw it all from the beginning but decided to marry because you think you can change him..
    I have no advice for you.

  35. You know how some serial killers can't stop themselves from targeting specific women who look alike? More grace to do whatever you feel you should do, cos your husband is NOT about to stop what he's doing. He's not just a cheat; he keeps going after women with a very specific look. This isn't about big boobs, bum or fair skin that can be bought. You said the resemblance between you and these women is such that you can all pass for sisters. It's not about you or even the work lady you're threatened by. If not, he would have focused his all on you as soon as you met. He married you because he was trying to replace someone he cannot have. And he's going to keep trying cos substitute or photocopy isn't and can't be the (same as) original.

    1. Hmm. There may be something to this your arm chair psychology. Poster please sort your life out. Find a job or start a business and start saving.

    2. This is deep........... 🤔

    3. A million likes for your comment

  36. MUMU!!! Get a job! Learn a skill... Learn to live without depending on him! Are u a believer? Get serious with your walk with God... Insist on protection... Move on!!!


  37. Stella I have many platonic male friends, I've never left panties in their homes nor have I taken postinor in their homes.

    This man's hands aren't clean and his wife has always known. She needs to get her life together and she will be in a better position to make permanent decisions.

  38. Poster, I almost threw up reading your story. You sound sooooo naive and your husband is manipulating the hell out of you. Some people will call him a narcissist (he probably isn’t, he’s just using some narcissistic tools to control you)

    The man don see you finish. He knows you will only talk and talk but you have no actions to back it up. He will never stop, it doesn’t matter how much you talk to him. His type will only stop when he becomes old and sick or maybe he truly encounters God.

    You need to get your power back. I would suggest you seperate from him but I know you will not. So now, STOP TALKING!!! Just stop talking! Start acting. Face yourself squarely, I’m not even going to talk about kids, face yourself. Be very selfish. Do things that will benefit you. And please let that man’s behavior begin to disgust you. Because I don’t think it does. This man is blatantly cheating on you and you call it female friends!!
    Once you’re disgusted with him, it will show in your attitude, you won’t care about what he does or doesn’t do. In all of this please, NO SHOUTING, NO NAGGING, NO CRYING. Just SPEAK THROUGH ACTION

  39. So sorry about what you are going through...been in your shoes before. And when i started keeping my own male friends he couldnt handle it! 2 things, either u proper snoop and have evidence of him cheating coz u really don't have yet. Or you concentrate on you, love you, stop talking to him about them, make friends...babe just do you!

  40. You are extremely gullible. Every sign showed that your husband was not a faithful person but you still married him. As women we don't even leave our bras out for our doctors to see when we go to their office, but a woman is going to leave a morning after pill package for a "friend" to see, mtschhw. He is not going to change now, he is who he is. It is either you ignore him and carry on with your life, divorce him, or get your own man on the side. But stressing out yourself and cutting years off your life over him is not the way to go. He is the type that will marry a new woman less than six months after the death of his wife. A man like him you don't let send you to an early grave.

    1. These type of married men that prefer to live like philandering bachelors, na wa ooo

  41. There are two choices here. You either leave or you ignore him. He is not about to change his cheating ways. Your husband's case is worse because he is a manipulator and a narcissist. I think you should get a job, organise your life and finances then take it from there. He doesn't have any respect for you and like OA said, he just settled for you because he couldn't get what he really wanted. I hope it works out well for you in the end.

    1. Enough with this narcissist you all throw around. Like really are you a psychiatrist or psychologist?

  42. And you still married him after God showed you reasons not to.

  43. This really broke me. That your husband cheats isn't even the problem but for him to do so while making you doubt your sanity. Satan dey learn work where some men dey.
    Madam, your husband is a classic abuser and narcissist, you found pant and postinor 2 but he still managed to turn it around so that you ended up begging him? Nawa! there's an adage my people say, "if it is facing you reject it, if it's backing you reject it but when you alone, think and do what it's best for you"

  44. Sister,my advice is stop thinking about your man and his women.Focus on how to better your life

  45. Your husband is used to a particular pattern. You woukd confront him and he would say bla bla bla and you woukd end up apologising or showing how hurt you are. Please you need to change your tactics. Stop complaining. Start ignoring and start something for yourself. Make new friends, especially male friends. When he finds out, don't sound like it's a revenge. Just let him know that you prefer male friends. Do this for like 3 months. The guy would have a rethink

  46. madam, you are extremely annoying and ridiculous. You saw postinor 2, saw panties, he chats girls constantly, and you are apologizing and doubting yourself. Where does one even start with you? you are allowing your husband prance around like a single mad and sleep with all manner of females clearly without protection (postinor evidence)and all you can do is indulge and apologise to him. The disrespect is giving you is sickening and I hope you don't think for a moment you are doing your self any favors cos all these indiscretions will affect you one day and you will find yourself treating diseases, fighting off familiar spirits and even worse. This is so annoying and you are so so ridiculous. I wish I could flog you from here...argh. Madam, please address and take charge of your home or husband. You are an equal partner and the disrespect is enough!

  47. Madam, don’t leave the marriage. Please go and get a job, that’s where your security lies and ensure that he uses a condom when he wants to have sex with you. Keep respecting him but ensure that you make friends and enjoy yourself. Go to cinemas, comedy shows. Just do what makes you happy. Don’t touch his phone again except u want to get evidences to pin him up but asides that do t waste your time snooping. Focus on yourself and enjoy life. Life doesn’t start and end with him. Keep praying for him. You married young and you were too innocent to understand his games. Not your fault though.

  48. you got married to a fuckanizer! lol

    if u're yet to get married just leave him since u're the possessive type. otherwise start fucking around too it's the only way to stay sane in that marriage since you are possessive. get ur own person on the side

  49. Whenever I read this advice to women suffering abuse or cheating - Face your life, focus on yourself, find a job, etc to distract you from the man's shenanigans, I wonder if the people saying these things have been in these shoes and are talking from experience. Do you guys know how unrealistic you people sound sometimes? Us women are highly emotional beings and we can hardly remove our emotions from anything we do. Even if she goes out to work, she will still come back to the house and meet the cheating husband. His character is the problem here. That said, I agree with some parts of the advice to the extent that human beings are naturally wired to want something they can't have so I'd say yeah, get a job that keeps you real busy. When your husband sees that you have less time to worry and fret over him and his 'friends', his brain will start to reset.

  50. My first time on ds blog

  51. Your husband reminds me of one idiot i dated for seven years before God rescued me.He flits with anything in skirt claiming they are just friends.Thank God i am married now but i know if i had married that cheat probably i would done something nasty to him.Poster you made a mistake by continuing dating him when you saw female undies in his place.Please note that it is very hard to change him now except by divine intervention. My advise for you is to go on your knees and ask God to change him.I feel you pain.So sorry.

  52. Your husband reminds me of one idiot i dated for seven years before God rescued me.He flits with anything in skirt claiming they are just friends.Thank God i am married now but i know if i had married that cheat probably i would done something nasty to him.Poster you made a mistake by continuing dating him when you saw female undies in his place.Please note that it is very hard to change him now except by divine intervention. My advise for you is to go on your knees and ask God to change him.I feel you pain.So sorry.


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