Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Sunday, December 29, 2019

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmmmmm






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
NOW OR NEVER



The year has been a good one with many challenges and victories and I am grateful to God for everything.


I sincerely need mature advice's especially from women who are married and those who are well experienced in relationship matters, because I have been confused for so long and I need to take a decision soon.


I am 25, working with the fed.govt and a virgin. Some years back, I took this decision to keep my body undefiled till I get married. I am more of the reserved kinda girl as I have a routine of work to such and back home. I don't have many friends but close to 3 guys, I will call them Aaa bee and cee.


Aaa(28) is a born again Christian who isn't based in my city but comes in once in a while, he is loving and very caring but looks like a dwarf. I have never said 'yes' to him the multiple times he asked me out, but he keeps calling, caring & sends money to my acct. without my knowledge a times. I like him as a friend, and nothing more. But he is always talking marriage. I am not on the tall side, so I don't want to have kids with such height plus he is from a state that my family doesn't love us being associated with. Again, the few times I have had to go out with him...I do feel embarrassed. Some weeks back, my dad called me to advice me & I asked what he thinks of that my Friend who usually comes around, but he said " No" I should take the guy out of my options. That I will have dwarfs as kids.


Bee (36)is a former colleague and a pastor. He has been asking me out for over 4years now. He said he has revelations and convictions that I am his wife and has refused to let go. When I tried dating him, I found it difficult having good conversations with him and connecting. His dress sense is very poor and he doesn't seem to be connected with whatever is happening in the world. I can be very humorous, but then...when I try to pass a joke, it's either he doesn't get it or I have to interpret it to him before he laughs about it. 



As I am not all about romance or sex I find it difficult being excited around him or something...I can't really explain the feeling. But this guy is so kind and everyone who knows him speaks well of him. So, early this year, I called him and told him about how I feel towards us and my challenges with him. He pleaded that we should try working things out and that he knows due to his upbringing,he has some challenges communicating properly and expressing himself. Mind you, he is a masters student o. so I said I won't want it looking like I am keeping him waiting, so I want to let him go try some other lady. I said that bcos, the few persons who know us both always ask me of him, some will even start asking me why I don't want to accept such a good guy...blah blah blah. So, I thought about it and suggested to him that after a month, if things don't improve, I will walk away. So in a months time, we met and talked about it and decided to part ways.


About 2 months later, I got terribly sick. The cause was unknown, I didn't tell Bee about it...but he got to know about it 3weeks into it and he took up the responsibility of coming to see me before going to work and after returning from work even till I recovered. Sometimes, he will come with his fellow pastors pray and share the word...he even slept over a few times at the hospital. At that time, he gave me every support I needed and I was amazed at how someone I have been rejecting could be so good to me...

he was never tired, but he was the least person I expected to be this good.
After almost 3 months of being mysteriously sick, I got well and completely fine. At this point, he had gained free access to my family and home. So he called me after a month or so and asked that he wants to come and see my parents. I didn't say anything, because the last time we talked about it, we had resolved that we were parting ways. So, I told him I will get back to him...I came home and told my mum she said I should say 'yes' to him, that he is the kind of man that will give me peace in marriage ...but I knew I had no joy on the inside,no excitement whatsoever. 

So I met with him and told him, I want a friend in my husband so I can't marry him. He accepted and prayed with me and we parted again.


Cee was a friend back in my undergraduate days and I liked him then, but he seemed to know every girl and was too free with them, so I kept to myself. Cee (33) is nice, he is an AG member and he is caring too. Fast forward to recently, I met him while I was trying to process my masters stuff and he got my digits. We both work and school in the same environment.


Although we met before I fell ill and he was quit supportive when I was down and all...he is a friend, one I am very comfortable with. But my mum complains a lot about him, that she is always seeing him with girls and that he talks too much. This is actually true..

 when I asked him about the girls, he tells me that he is more close to girls then guys but he doesn't have anything to do with them. I decided to go through his phone, I discovered he calls almost every girl 'sweetheart' and there was this particular one he was telling that he still loves her. I was broken and recalled all my mum told me and how she promised me that this particular guy will someday break my heart. 


When I started avoiding his calls and texts he went to his status and started writing childish things... How only ones siblings and parents can truly love them...every other love is conditional... Blah blah blah. I didn't say anything... He went on writing stuffs, it was just childish to me. I have never taken my relationship public and I hate the world being aware of whatever is going on in my life. 

He came back begging and apologising, he explained that the Lady is one he asked out before and was just saying that...I actually love the way we communicate and the friendship that we share, so I found myself getting close again. Plus he is loving, kind ane quite caring.


Now, Bee has traveled for a retreat and called that pls I should have a rethink about him, that he needs to settle down but doesn't want to make mistakes. So I should have a rethink and get back to him by next year.

Cee is planning to settle down by next year and he is all over me, but I fear for the future as regards his flaws.

I have kinda made up my mind about Aaa as I really like him, but can't risk it.


Pls married women in the house, is there a possibility that I will fall in love with Bee after marriage???
Has anyone ever been in this situation or is non of this guys for me???


I actually told God that I will love to settle down at 25 but by next year I will be 26 and I am already getting all pressured as everyone is asking what I am waiting for before I settle down. Aside that, I have decided to take a decision, either make up my mind about one person or let them all go and look forward to someone's else.


Pls I just need mature advises, thanks and sorry for the long write up.



*Please you have set a time limit for yourself and put yourself under pressure....Do you know that marriage without love sometimes works out better than that with love?if any of these three men will MAKE A GOOD HUSBAND AND FATHER then risk it and forget love but if you are convinced none of them will,then please move on oh.......
What did i just type?Oh well...........

103 comments:

  1. I don't know but as I was reading through, I felt that Bbb deliberately ingratiated himself with your family and it feels like he's manipulating you somehow.

    You obviously are not attracted to anyone so why not just calm down? God does not work based on our timeliness. He is GOD and your deadlines are not going to change what plans He has for you.

    So many chronicles about who to choose and about time ticking and all.. IT IS BETTER TO MARRY LATE THAN TO MARRY WRONG. There shouldn't be any rush in marriage. Yes, it's a big deal. In fact, choosing to live forever together is the biggest deal and really just calm down.

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    Replies
    1. Mystic has said it all.

      Poster, God forbid you marry early to a man you cannot proudly hangout with, that you will hate for giving you dwarf babies. God forbid you marry a man you can't gist and chat away deliriously with. You will be married and lonely till you find yourself leaning on a "listening ear" that will take advantage of you loneliness. God forbid you marry a narcissistic man that enjoys seeing you compete for his attention.

      Relax and experience life. There will be more suitors in the near future. When you meet him, I promise you will not write any chronicle.

      You sound quite intelligent. Take care and calm down.

      Delete
    2. Open your ears and listen carefully.
      Dont you ever settle, right now you don't seem to be mushy about anyone of them so I'll say just give it time.
      The first isn't what you like, marrying the second is even worse cus a good marriage needs that friendship, good communication and understanding even after the love fades away, which you don't seem to share with this guy.
      The third would have been great, but I don't think he is faithful, plus he is too childish.
      You are still young and there are better men, who would make you happy out there.
      Forever is a long time to spend with "hello, hi" friends.
      Look for someone else.

      Delete
    3. GbamπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

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    4. Word @ Mystique.

      Poster, desist from describing people the way you did with Aaa. You would’ve simply said he is short.

      Anyway, do not marry any man you are neither attracted nor connected to. The beauty of marriage is communication, whether jokingly or otherwise. There are times both of you communicate without words especially in public and it is truly amazing. When you have that connection with someone, your thoughts are in sync. There are lots of jokes and laughter and there are times you both see something funny, and before any of you say a word, you both burst out laughing! It cannot be learnt nor taught. Pastor should look for someone else.

      It is possible to grow to love a man, but in your case, there is no connection or attraction so this is a marriage dead on arrival. If you go in, you will be out of it before you are 30.

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    5. Send me Bees phone number 😍😍😍

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    6. You have described them based on your findings, my dear.

      My advice is don't go into marriage believing you can change your man, BIG lies, it doesn't happen. Its better to marry someone that loves, prays and understands you than to marry someone based on his sociable attitude/xter.

      Bee sounds OK but find out his flaws and know if you can be able to fill/complement/cover it or not...Marriage is making the man complete by filling/ smoothening those gaps (his flaws) in other to make him perfect.

      BE OPEN to love this coming year but dont chase Bee away but drop Cee. Don't forget God in this o. Good luck dear.

      Delete
    7. Poster, listen to that inner voice. If you don't feel an inner peace with any of them, they aren't yours. Also pray about it and ask God to reveal if any of these 3 is yours. I did so with my husband then bf, but anytime I prayed for a sign and for us to break up if he wasn't mine, he does something so kind you would be blown away. I always felt that peace and after much pressure from people to not put all my eggs in one basket, I made a decision to enjoy how happy he made me and have no regrets if it eventually didn't work out. Best decision I ever made.

      Delete
    8. Bbb's case is a bit funny though. Someone that claims God spoke to Him yet till now, God has not shown you anything. As a christian, you should discern these things instead of being a church girl, be a child of God- if it doesn't give you peace, move on.

      Someone using God's name to lie and toast is not the way forward o. Then communication... It is either there or it is not. Someone you are not in sync with would be wonderful to everyone else and they would think you are being difficult without realising that both of you are immiscible.

      If you can't communicate, it would even be worse when you are having disagreements. Every sentence would be misunderstood and you won't even be in a hurry to reconcile since the chemistry is not there. A marriage can last long and not be successful and that is not what you want- where neither person would file for divorce just to frustrate the other person. Imagine if Hannah gave God date to be a mother or if Isaac gave his father a date for him to get married. It is not by setting date. You are not into Aaa- sex, intimacy and social connection would be zero. Bbbb seems the manipulative type- the marriage would age you ans you are not psychologically mature enough to cope with a pastor and his followership making you keep up appearances. Cee is the secular manipulator looking for whose self esteem to reduce and control. B and C are the same, it is just how they spend their weekends that is different. Stop setting dates to your destiny.

      Look out for the right person who would be right for all times not just the right time that would pass in an instant and then you'll be left with forever of sorrows tears and blood or even worse, BOREDOM.

      Delete
    9. exactly my thoughts on Mr.B...plus how are you sure he is not responsible for the mysterious ailments,just to get close to you, pastors can for and undo....Mr.B is manipulative.

      Delete
  2. Cee is out of it, I think Bee is still manageable, since he has prayed about it, why can't you too pray about it yourself?




    *Larry was here*

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  3. Stella has given you the best advice, I think you should give bee a chance, the best spouse you can get is the one that accept their flaws and are willing to change.

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  4. All the 3 listed options has ‘imprints of your mother said, your father said’. They will not live with you! . For some people at 25, their lives are just starting and there is nothing wrong with your dream of settling down next year but I fear you are pressuring yourself as your family are doing too. Take time to find out the mind of God concerning these men. Marriage is a lifelong establishment. You should be careful the decisions you are taking. Goodluck.

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    Replies
    1. πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘@bini

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    2. Go for Bee else let the 3 of them go and begin your new search.
      BV DOLLARGODDESSES

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    3. I find it strange you fell sick after turning Bee down and he was conveniently available. Then he ingratiate himself to your family within that period.

      You should have a relationship with God. Pray and let him tell you what to do, not the other way around.

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    4. What Bee did was normal. Seeing a guy in a hospital, sleeping over, there is no way the family won't notice him...

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    5. Why are you attracted to Cee, who is a bad boy? You dont love B or A, so let them all go.

      I think you should not pick any out of the 3. Relax and dont put yourself under undue pressure!

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  5. Too long abeg. Pls who finished?

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    Replies
    1. I didn't, any Chronicle this long annoys me.

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    2. This is what Buhari meant by "lazy youth". It is not even up to a page and you couldn't finish it?

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  6. Go with Bee my sister. You won't regret it

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  7. Poster choose the pastor he Will make you happy and he is a very patient man and good to you.

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    Replies
    1. For me too Bee should be a good husband but if poster doesn't feel good about him she may not enjoy the marriage it will be more conditional marriage and it may not work. Poster to God but want thing I know is this if you can hold on and not be in rush you get inner peace with who you are to marry it might not be anyone of this three.

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  8. My friend in all of these, have you gone to God in prayers about these men.

    What type of men did you pray for. For I don't see any future wwith these men.

    Better go to God and set your priority right.

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    Replies
    1. @Yori
      In one vein you talk about God and in another you talk about fornication as if it is a fashion. Where do you belong?

      Delete
  9. Looking again, the right choice is right in front of you.

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  10. My dear, Bee bee bee bee is a rare gem, fate allowed you to see for yourself what you were taking for granted and toying with by permitting that sickness.

    Please oooo, Love is very essential in marriage but you see a man who loves you more, will always tolerate your inadequacies (speaking from experience oo) Pray about it and tell God to open your heart to love him. Marry a man who loves God and is ready to stand by you through the thick and thin.

    Just my humble opinion ooo poster.

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    Replies
    1. I know someone who went for a bee,today the marriage is in shambles and she's frustrated. Some of these 'pastors'. I'm not saying bee is diabolic o,just sharing a personal experience.
      Poster,why not ask God yourself. He speaks to his children you know!

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    2. The Bee thing looks suspicious to me. Hope he's a 'pastor' of a living church. Hmn.

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  11. Singing...A ,B, C, D, E, F, G.

    I like B. He seems to be a good person. You might even end up being a Mother-In-Israel.

    The only risk there is, he might never understand you.

    Listen to your parents too. The things they see too are real and I'm glad you have a wonderful relationship with them.

    Above all ,give love a chance. Not that child play you are having with baby C. He will frustrate you.

    If you are still confused ,wait for d ultimate D dearie. When you meet D 1,you will know or not. X

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  12. God’s creature looks like a dwarf πŸ™„
    You have never said yes to him, he sends money into your account without your knowledge. How did he get your details? What did you do to stop him from seeking younmoney?
    Why do you feel embarrassed when you go out with Aaa? His height?
    From your writeup, Bee seem like a great guy, but you don’t like him much because he is not “woke” sometimes, we miss good things cos we feel we are too woke to even recognize when gold is before us.
    Being “woke” can cause pain and you tend to lose a lot. Be a little of both.
    You can work on Bee, teach him a few things, I am sure he’ll adjust. He will want to do stuff to make you happy.
    Cee is not going to give you peace. For how long will you keep worrying about his female friends? He is wild and that’s it, he isn’t changing for you.
    Did you read the chronicle of few days ago where the poster complained of her husband having too many female friends? Can you manage such a man?
    Nothing like peace and rest of mind in one’s life and if you are lucky to meet such a man who will give you all of that, grab him ASAP.
    Don’t you want to be mama In the lord πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Look well before you leap.

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  13. Consider Bee or wait until you're in your late twenties or early thirties by then you will not need advice to pick anyone that comes your way. By then you will be the one begging men to propose to you.

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    Replies
    1. Why so meanπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      But it's true sha...

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    2. @black diamond, very daft comment

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    3. Think before you type @Black Diamond

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  14. You are not ready. You better face your life and your work. If you are asking these types of questions then you aren't prepared.

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    Replies
    1. I dislike this type of a b c d chronicles. Playing game with men all in the name of marriage.

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  15. Are you saying for over 4 years of bee asking you out, he never dated anyone? He was Waiting for just you? Think again. I understand when you say you couldn't communicate with him. I met someone like that, his boring self was a follow come something, very boring human. We couldn't discuss anything.he doesn't get jokes very bland human. Even when I try to create excitement he spoils it with his confused stares. Very mechanical.

    That cee or whatever you call him, should be avoided like a plague. At your age you need a man that has a good head on his shoulder.

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  16. Forget A and C...B is better but since you don't feel attracted to him, then let him go..As long as you won't regret it...Why are you pressuring yourself to get married at 25...Have you asked yourself if it is God's desire for you?

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  17. Girl you are on to a long thing.
    Your parents are inserting themselves into your relationship like sardines. You do not like a guy but he has your account number and you are receiving monies from him. You don't like to have dwarfs as kids but you saw a man you called dwarf and began to like him and blend.
    You saw a man that likes to go with girls and tells them he loves them and sweethearts and you are asking us if you should join the queue. Did you read the chronicles here last few days? And one is so sure that God spoke to him to marry you but you do not hear from same God. How come you are giving both God and yourself ultimatum. Do humans command the great awesome God? What really makes you think that it is any of these three men. You need to remove yourself from this pressure cooker and breathe and think well. You do not jump in and out of marriage. Anyone that wants to settle next year should do so. That means they neither heard from God or have patience.
    And try to rearrange your values. Knowledge of world affairs isn't a sustaining factor in happy marriage. Patience, kindness, not given to anger, and generally a good character is.

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  18. This girl sounds like a rare gem. See how eligible bachelors are flocking around her. That's what value can bring to your life. You are not like most of the nitwits in this blog. I hope you will make your husband happy eventually. By the way, I am with your mom's advice. I have been married with kids for close to a decade now.

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  19. Dear poster, i Will advice you to go for bee, if he love you is better for you to love him more because of any disappointment in future, it wouldn't weigh you down then. Mind you we are human being.

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  20. Replies
    1. Please, ASK GOD.
      Do not go for Bee or Cee, mbanu. A is short and so out. You are still young, do not be in a hurry to be married. Your man will come, put all in God"s hands. Take your mind off marriage for now. Best of luck. Cheers!

      Delete
  21. He sends money to your account without your knowledge. Aunty, how did he get your account number?
    You're collecting money but you're calling him a dwarf right?
    Don't worry.

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    Replies
    1. Don’t mind the poster. She kept collecting a dwarf’s money.
      You don’t want a person, reject his cash/material gifts.

      Delete
  22. @25 your chronicle speaks of your mindset. You are not ready for life. It’s very sad: go back to the drawing board and focus on your goals cus you have very misplaced priorities . Don’t even get me started on this useless mindset with short guys; so a good guy comes your way healthy and right in every aspect but you say no cus he is short and your dad says you will have short kids ? Can you really process what you type up there?
    You better go focus on your career , you just pick people to marry based on I will marry you next year or he is a pastor or physically short or he is always with girls ? Where is the substance in anything you wrote . I pray I raise my daughter to do better than this

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    Replies
    1. You dey mind her?
      Nonsense chronicle

      Delete
    2. Kam down Anony.. I see nothing wrong in what the poster has written. You cannot impose your mindset on her . Both of you have definitely had different experiences and probably different ages. She can't have your own just as you can't have hers. She is saying what is relevant and important to her.

      Delete
    3. Yeah it may sound vain but aren't we all vain in our choices? Some girls want tall, some want 6-pack, some want rich, some abroad hubby. Same way some guys want beautiful ladies, light skinned ladies, good cook, big butt or hips-don't lie ladies. I think as Christians we shouldn't be vain but we also have been given some freedom of choice. I know this pastor that preaches against such vanities while choosing a spouse but bros still got himself a light skinned very pretty wife with long hair. We all have our physical preference... There's some vanity in all of us.

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  23. Please go to God in prayers. You can never go wrong when you seek God first.
    You are still young, please take your time

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  24. At 25 you have a table of men but finding it difficult on who to choose while we're here not even getting a hi from a man. It's well o. This life na pot of bean. God please bless me with my man oh LordπŸ™
    SnM here I come.

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  25. Don't marry someone you have no attraction for except there is a strong conviction in your heart.
    Its obvious u are confused, y dont u give urself a break and do a thorough evaluation of your feelings. Bbee is close but what of this feeling u have of something missing whenever u are with him.
    if i were you, i will just quit seeing them for now. U have a lot to achieve in life than to just get stuck in a boring marriage. the decision lies with u, follow ur intuition!

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  26. Let go of these three men Aaa,Bee and Cee.
    Don't limit yourself to a time frame
    You'll find a better you and one deserving of you soon.
    You don't love either of them, don't pressure yourself or feel pressured by family and peers to make a choice you'll live the rest of your life regretting.
    You live just once, Be you, Do you and be happy with yourself and who your heart and soul goes after.
    It is better to marry late than marry wrong.

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  27. I dunno about A, but Cee is a complete No no...
    Bee seems like a great option. A lot of married women I know told me they never liked their spouses when they first met him. First, write down your expectations of a partner on a sheet of paper. Write a 10 point goal/ agenda of what you want your marriage to be. Then sit with him and have a no-holds-barred discussion on your needs and expectations of a partner (you can even discuss sex and all *wink).
    Also find out his expectations from a spouse and see if you can fit in.
    Then tell him he has to meet at least 70% of your expectations.
    Give him a month to 3 months to date and watch his changes. If he adjusts well/ is even making my conscious effort to adjust and please you, then go for him immediately.
    Above all, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you and hear God by yourself.
    I wish you all the best in whatever choice you make.

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  28. Too long, didn't read totally. My imperfect advice: It must not be any of the 3

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  29. My dear poster, please follow your heart, just do what makes you happy and remember that marriage is forever... All the best to you

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  30. You're asking us to choose for you as if we're going to live with you after marriage. Better tell yourself the truth and choose where your heart will be at peace. Unless you want to discover Mungo Park then...Wait till you find the ultimate X.

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  31. Poster let me share my story with you.

    I met my husband when we were teenagers, and he told me he was going to marry me in the future. Lool, I ignored him because I was not attracted to him. I was attracted to yoppy guys. I went abroad for my masters after uni dated other guys and my hubby wass still a friend, checking on me all the time, his parents visited my parents just to check on them, I still friend zoned my hubby. 7 years later I came bank from USA to America to work. I was dating my dream guy, until he broke up with me after three years over flimsy reasons that his mom does not like me. I was depressed, my husband was still a friend I could talk to. The next year, hubby proposed to me, I was not in love with him, but I knew I will be at peace with him. There has been so many challenges that God has taken control of and I know if I didn't marry my hubby, who ever I married would have left me.

    Now I am so in love with him, he is the best husband. Sometimes I just knell and thank God for him, see how I almost lost him because it was not butterfly love at first sight.

    Poster if you marry a good man, you will fall in love with him. Marry a man who loves you more. Runaway from that one that likes girls, except you can cope in marriage. Stella was aware when I was getting married but I know she won't know who this is. Aunty stella the good adviser.

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  32. If you want to settle down now, My opinion is that you should go with Bee. He seems responsible, very caring, compassionate and committed.

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  33. Bee is the type of husband that will give you peace of mind . Forget about the love you read in novels, you will grow to love him.

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  34. Poster go with Bee! But be ready to become mama G.O. that AA is out of it.

    I have been in this situation before. My own AA is caring! Most matured guy I have come across! But he has bad legs and I am not proud walking with him in the public.

    I have also dated someone like cee. Thou he might get married and leave that lifestyle of keeping alot of female friends, but hey u cnt tell! Because the signs are there. E fit be chronic flirt.

    Now Bee! I prefer a man that loves me more! Bee loves you more the way I see it. But out of the 3, I choose bee. But again! You seem not to be physically attracted to any of them thou.

    Follow you heart darling. If there is not conviction! Keep moving ok. Sending you love!πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’ž

    I have repented on this blog! No more hate commentπŸ˜˜πŸ€—(pls take note you all)🀣

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    Replies
    1. Lmao πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ you are not serious.

      Delete
  35. Go with beee though he might not be social able but he is ready to learn. That ceee is a no go area. He will wreack your heart though it seem you prefer him the most.

    Above all don't be in a hurry, enjoy your youth.

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  36. From a married sister pls go with Bee my dear pls

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  37. Please look out for D and E, don't be pressurised before you busrt like canned coke under hot sun.

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  38. I might not know everything about relationships but you see that Bee,grab him and hold him tight,never let him go.
    Bee seem to be a very patient and understanding man.

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  39. Isaiah 28:16 says

    Whoever believes will not act hastily.

    If u believe God u ll not choose out of fear. A pastor once told me that anytime I am confused I shouldn't take any decision and this has been guide. Choose only if u have peace. U ll know cos u ll like him. God ll not give u a man u do not like. Pray pray and pray and if u still do not like bee, let him go. Marriage is about companionship u need someone u can enjoy conversations with

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  40. Better marry bee. All these fine married men you are seeing, go and ask their wives how they were when they met. You people think its beans to have fresh husband. Please marry that guy and rest on this matter

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    2. Nice one duchess. If sounds like the husband material but because poster is distracted, she won't see that. My advice would be to quite A and C and really get to see B for who he is before deciding. She will keep getting confused if they are all there

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  41. For me I ll say u need to check yourself mentally. Ll bee make a good husband or father. As for dressing, u can work on it. Is Bee financially ok. Does he like the things u like, do u have the same value systems. I am not at all going for marriage with B but I will say date/close friend with him. So that u r sure u didn't make a hasty decision. Pray to God to open your eyes and ears to see bee for who is. Listen in all conversations what bee is saying. Every man before marriage gives you hints of the type of person he ll b. Look at actions not just words. Consistency is key. If his words dont match actions or he only does nice acts randomly, he isn't consistent. Allow bee to express himself more. Ask him questions. Match his response to his actions. If u r not convinced. Walk away

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    1. poster, this is the advise you should be taking.PRAYER is KEY. You need to be talking to God to reveal himself to you concerning this.

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  42. Consider Bee. Please run away from cee. My sister never loved the husband when she agreed to marry him, cute, tall, handsome Dr, i understand with her, she had a guy she was crushing on. Before this, my mum has dreamt about the husband, that how she accepted, and God revealed to her too

    That man she never loved, the beginning was rough in aspect of financial aspect, but today

    The husband doesn't allow her use her salary, till small thing like offering he gives my sister, a lady that's earning 200k monthly oh. He gives her 250k monthly for just family of 5, just bought her a 9million car, he training 2 of my siblings in a private university, my parents are on his payroll, humble, not a womanizer and very supportive

    He married my sister in her final year, but now she doing her phd, Just got her a land, cos my sis saw it and liked it. It too numerous to mention sweetheart

    This is the man she never loved, but now she over heel inlove, who wouldn't love such a man.

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  43. Wait for D. Or u go for bee but the truth is u need to pray to God to show u the right person. I don't like a marriage where ur spouse won't be physically to u. Marriage requires spirituality and physical aspect. Pray for Mr D to come ur way. God doesn't give something our heart won't appreciate. But have it at the back of ur mind that no body is perfect. Every man u see will also have their own shortcomings. Pick a man u know u will be able to cope with his flaws.

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  44. You are melancholy and u like the outgoing nature of cee (sanguine). Sanguines and melancholy make good couple. But cee is immature and not a strong Christian, he ll break your heart. You need a spirit filled sanguine to curtail the weakness of a sanguine. Dont ever date cee, he has no shame, properly has a temper

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  45. I did not read too once I saw bee, cee and what the other one I no fit abeg.

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  46. Please leave all these timelines alone.
    Imagine how you described C with all the childishness at that age and yet you have him as a contender for your heart, why?
    Simply because your options are limited for now and you’re trying to make the best of a not-so-good situation, considering that the deadline you gave yourself has reached.

    I don’t know what your standing is with God but have you even thought about asking for His direction in this very important matter?
    You say B says he’s sure he heard from God concerning you and you seem to have asked everyone else for an opinion apart from the one who knows it all...
    My advice.
    Forget deadlines, take time out undisturbed to pray and hear from God concerning your future spouse... it might not even be any of these men you’ve spoken about here.

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  47. MADAM U NEED TO BE MORE SOCIAL. THIS YOUR WORK HOME LIFE IS NOT GOOD. THATS WHY U R ONLY SEEING GUYS THAT LIKE U AND NOT GUYS U LIKE

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  48. A is not your nan, you don't respect him at the end of the day simply because of his height. A shallow reason but it is what it is

    B is not your man. He is manipulative. All that God revealed to me you're my wife is nonsense. God is not a God of confusion. If he revealed to him, he will reveal to you. Of the 3 mentioned B seems the most dangerous tbh.

    C is a womanizer, you don't need the headache or the emotional abuse that comes with his type.

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    1. You are very right. Poster, please, do not go for B, he isn't the one for you and I have this strong feeling that he is dangerous.

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    2. CherishD, why so suspicious?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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  49. My sister is it not better to be mummy GO or mummy Israel and have peaceful marriage with joy than to have heart wreck,frustrated, and low self esteem in ur marriage.
    So pick Bee and let ceee go.

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  50. You appear like a very unserious person,don't you know what you want? make up your mind girl! confused child everywhere, mtcheww

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  51. Well, don't let bee use Bible verses and fake convictions to use bread wipe your stew away.

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  52. All these I will marry before 20, 25, 30 stories will just* allow ladies to rush and make mistakes. I don't know why I am skeptical about Bee. You don't have to settle with anyone out of the 3 suitors. Pray about it and say yes to someone that gives you peace of mind.
    Your dad's excuse to pursue Aaa is not a solid reason to lose a good man (if he is one). it is well with you.

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  53. It doesnt sound like it's all 3.
    Keep searching. Stop putting pressure on yourself and setting a marriage age.

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  54. I'm AG too, pls don't marry any of them, that love doesn't play a major role in marriage is fallacious, it's what i was told many years ago and still bearing the consequences, look for the person you have deep connection with, Cee will drive you into depression, pls pray and wait for that right person, believe me you will know him when you see him, it has worked for my niece through same advice i just wrote

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  55. I'll have said go for A but there's nowhere in the Bible it says you must love the man you marry. A woman is to simply 'obey'.

    I won't advice you to throw all three of them away either because from experience, the older you get, the slimmer your chance of marrying someone close to your spec. Reason: It's like hunting for an apartment. You can never get something perfect.

    For me, I have come to the conclusion that marriage is like that. In house hunting for instance, a good house maybe beyond your budget, the one that is affordable and good, landlord may refuse to accept single ladies, the one that accepts may not be fenced, the one that is fenced, the road may be bad, the one that the road is good may have a narcissist for a landlord etc

    So I concluded that just like house hunting, in marriage, you must identify your priorities and deal breakers. Is it the fence, or that it must be the top floor of a storey not bungalow, or that the interior must have POP, or it must have a gardener/security?!!! Don't forget your deal breakers. Can you live in a house with the landlord, must it be close you your workplace?!!! Etc

    I for one, one of my priorities is good road cos I don't want to spend the difference on the cheaper rent on repairing my car every month. Somebody who doesn't have a car and depends on bike as meansof transportation may not care if the roads are good or bad. Imagine me asking that kind of person to decide for me!

    Hope you get my point now. We can't decide We can't decide for you. I'll give another example. I have come to the conclusion again that financial security/comfortability tops my own list right now. I have grown to understand that love is not sufficient. Especially in Nigeria. We need money. I'll rather remain unmarried. I'm not saying he has to be stinkingly rich but there's no way I'm marrying a man I'll be providing for. I'm 38 now and under pressure from society ( though not desperate by myself) Yet, my eyes are wide open. If you love me from here till eternity and you don't have financial security...or you're stingy, I'm not for you sir.

    So be guided sis. Make your choice. For yourself by yourself.

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    1. This! πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘πŸ‘

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    2. I wish the poster will understand this your comment, life is not a fairytale, when it hits you forget height, and every other attraction. No one can help you choose a spouse, I think marriage is "what you see is what you get" there's no template. Situations can turn a good man to a monster and a bad man can also be a good man, but don't think you as a spouse has any power in changing an individual. Money is very essential in marriage, lack of it can cause a lot of issues. I also think you will continue to be confused if you keep a lot of suitors, date or court one at a time, don't marry anyone you've not dated for at least six month,love alone does not sustain a marriage, and it is not a woman's place to love a man, you only react to the man's love, I don't know if Bee actually heard from God or if he's manipulating, being a Pastor's wife requires an extra grace because he's going to be serving other people too, so you must prepare to share him with the congregation. I see nothing wrong with Aaa too, his height does not determine his children's height,if you have insecurity issues avoid Cee. If you don't date or court one of these guys poster, your confusion will increase when Dee and Eee finds you available, everyone comes with a different package of confusion. I'm like Cee, very spontaneous with the opposite sex, I told my wife about that before we married and she has not suspected me for one day, Trust. I dated tall slim girls but I married a short chubby girl, did I hear from God when I wanted to marry? No. My wife was not also filled with WOKE knowledge, those things don't matter in marriage,and yes I have tall children, and I'm enjoying my marriage.

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  56. A no follow..C na death sentence...B could be the one...but that your timeline is BS

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  57. The mistake most people make is defining love in terms of feelings(passion) only. Love comprises passion(feelings), intimacy(the level of self disclosure in your communication) and commitment (the decision to make that relationship work).

    A perfect marriage has all three components yet passion and intimacy fluctuate even in these perfect marriages. That is where commitment comes in.

    In essence I am saying make your choice ( Bee seems the best based on your narration) and commit to making it work. That is if the other person also make similar commitment. Feelings will develop once that commitment is there.

    Secondly, too many options lead to unhappy decisions. People do experience this when they go shopping. They go back home and start regretting why they didn't buy some other items they saw instead of the ones they bought.

    This also applies to marriage. Make that decision and be mentally prepared to stick by it.

    All the best.

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  58. Poster you have to pick one out of the three pick the one your heart is at peace with. After wedding night no body will be there with you both but you alone, three men yet you have complain on them.

    Pick and let others go, your heart knows who he love just go for it.

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  59. Poster,If I were you I would stick with Bee.See its better for the man to love you more.And in this case he is caring.Believe me you will fall in love with him as time go on...

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  60. I think Bee is the best but I don't trust him. The whole 'God revealed to me' ish would turn me off. It seems manipulative, especially since God hasn't revealed to you as well, and since y'all don't have a connection. Also the story around your mysterious illness seems incomplete..
    Some ladies are lucky and can marry someone they don't love and grow to love him. This may happen for you poster. Unfortunately it has never worked for me. How do y'all make love to a hubby you don't love?
    Finally poster, it may be none of them. Pray for wisdom and guidance.

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  61. There's a reason why you wrote this in,the last thing that comes to mind when u think about them one after the other,thats your instinct so follow it,you should know if your choice is there or not😊

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  62. TAKE YOUR TIME TO ASK GOD IN PRAYERS

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