STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COMPLICATED SITUATION
Okay, so let me put it straight. I am a single mom, 44 year but do look like 30's. I have a 6 year old daughter from my former marriage and the Dad has never been in the picture.
I've moved on, it was difficult to get dates and I became s#x starved. I became involved in a long distance relationship with a guy I knew from way back.He spoke of marriage and family, I fell hard and believed him.
We talked about how we were gonna be together. Endless calls, video calls, chats, video s#x etc. He came back during the Yuletide and became standoffish.
Yes we met and loved each Other's company but we never had time to really talk. He stayed for just 3 weeks but we only met thrice, we had s#x the last time.
I asked for condom, he promised to pull out, which he did. Unfortunately, I felt unwanted,unloved and unneeded. I also learnt how to become aloof and acted like I also didn't send. Of cos, he was occupied all thru.
I mourned my loss and moved on. Though he sometimes do send messages which I replied casually most times. I just knew the flash was gone. Did I mention that this is the third time he's doing this. Whenever, he is in the country, he practically ignores me, but once he is back to base,the loves soars
And I've previously made up my mind that this is the last time I would be so neglected.
Problem is, I just found out i am pregnant. I am so confused, I would love having more babies but not this way. We've not spoken since he went back. I ignored his last chat. I am not afraid of taking care of my kids alone but i am ashamed of myself.
I am known as a leader both in church and my area. Funny thing, no man has ever been seen around me. My pride will not allow me tell him,I don't want him to think i am trapping him. I had deleted his contacts and only way he can get to me is if he calls.
Another problem is, I was pregnant when my ex husband left, it practically broke me as everyone knew I was abandoned by a man I loved and cared for.
I need serious advice now, please ANG keep off biko, don't make me stressed up. Also Don, keep off, Just kind words and advice,tnx.
*This so sad!...There are a lot of men like this who take advantage of lonely women like you.It is good you have decided to move on...
If you are ashamed of what people will say and it will affect you,why don't you move out of that area and change the Church you attend?..
I am also happy that Abortion is not even on your mind.....
Please stay strong,the deed has been done and you have fallen pregnant despite the holy holy appearance you put up,please carry your shoulders high and move on......
I also think you need to look for a way to contact the owner of the pregnancy you are carrying,just tell him he is under no obligation to marry you or attend to the child but you just need him to know that he planted a seed...
I also think he is married in Nigeria and becomes aloof when he visits but becomes free again when he is away from wifey....BEAST!!!
Madam until we accept that some people are not destined to marry or stay married in their lives. Thank God you have a child already, please do everything possible to birth that child, then face your job and cater for your kids, you will laugh last.
ReplyDeleteIf you can't cope in your present area, just relocate then make sure you let the man responsible for the pregnancy be aware. May God see you through
*Larry was here*
Exactly have your baby. This may be your only chance to have another baby at 44.
DeletePeople don't even have empathy again I'm seeing some comments down. Who is above making mistakes especially as it seems poster seems to be an otherwise decent lady that just allowed loneliness and her emotions get the better of her. Yes she shld know better at her age but no one is above deception from men. Just that better experienced ones like me no go ever allow belle enter equation except that's my plan from start. Bcos I have experience with men matter. Some women even at 50 are naive.
When you only used withdrawal you shld have used morning after pill. But the deed is done.
That man isn't serious. He probably has a serious rltshp or marriage down here reason he is aloof when he visit.
Inform him of the child and make it known you are capable of taking care of your child yourself and your doors are open if he decides to pay a fatherly role in the child's life.
It's done already, baby is already formed. You have to make the most of it. These men sha is it a 44yr old you shld be having fling with. When you know at her age she will want smthn serious. You are now playing games with her. Wicked people.
Lol @Ang and Don keep off.
DeleteI will advice you keep your baby.
If you don't want stress don't call the guy. But whenever he calls let him know. Las las he will still know
Why I said if you don't want stress is based on his behaviour you don't need him emotionally abusing you into aborting the baby.
With your age, please keep your child!
True @16:25. One of my friends aborted because she told her man. D emotional stress was worth taking d thing off
DeleteLarry, am not amongst those not getting married my dear. Am from a good home and wanta same. Okay?? I own my house and have a serious growing enterprise in it, besides I work wit the govt. So leaving my house is out of it. Neither is abortion, I actually want and love this baby(ies) I pray for twins. I can take care of them Wella.
DeleteHave your baby but prepare for emotional torture that may come from the kid when he is grown and demands to know his dad, sometimes it doesnt just end at giving birth.
DeleteI don't even understand where people get this notion of "not everyone is meant to be married".For a man,yes,sure,but not for a lady!!!.The Bible says MEN can be Eunuchs,but not women!...so, every normal woman should desire marriage,becos it's a good thing.A man can discipline himself to avoid women & sex,but most women can't.So, rather than involving in fornication, isn't it better to be married??
DeleteDear,poster,it seems you either have strong foundational issues or you simply don't have any sense!...You got pregnant for your ex, & your ex left & you decided to sleep with someone you barely know again,& d same cycle begins!...pls continue,it seems it's your destiny to have all your children outside wedlock!..some people make mistakes once & they learn their lessons,but for others???....
Madam, trust me, I know how you feel. Take it from me, you want another child but you don't NEED another child. Reasons? 1. You are 44 ma, this should be your "me age". Raising a baby shouldn't be on your plate. 2. You already have a daughter. Focus and invest your love and resources on her and trust God. 3. Even if you decide to keep this child, it is just unnecessary baggage, emotionally draining, health dangers for ur age and resource consuming. 4. I am sure you don't want to raise another child alone. That is not what you will want to show your daughter.
DeleteMy advice is get an abortion, it is best for you. Loosen up and date more. The earlier you replace that guy the better for your physical and mental health. And when you date, date for fun, have safe sex, keep your money safe and your daughter safer. Don't be needy, be fun instead. Just so you dont wake up one morning and find out you are 70 and you have missed out exhausting your entire youth in celibacy and raising fatherless children alone. YOUTH IS TRANSIENT! YOUTH IS TRANSIENT!! YOUTH IS TRANSIENT!!!
No Stella!! There are alot women leaders so called marriage counselors and pastors who take advantage of men.. especially divorcees widowed, separated and single mothers. These women are wicked very wicked. At your age he did it once twice third time, n you come here talking trash . GET OUT OF HERE..
DeleteSaphire, who are you to define her ME age or what she wants vs needs. The arrogance of some of you here 😒
DeleteSee how she mentioned abortion casually like it's a stroll to the pharmacy. A life. A whole life.
DeleteYes I am a pro-safe abortion. I am not a Christian and practice my own kind of religion. I am also a realist. I support anything that enhances quality of individual to live life to the fullest. I hardly conform cos I take a helicopter stand on issues and tackle them without unhealthy myopic sentiments.
DeleteEven tho I know the poster intentionally took in, we are women and we know she did not make a mistake if not she should have taken morning after pill. But then, she does not need another child to raise in a dysfunctional setting. Her concerns should be what example she is setting for her young daughter.
Meanwhile, men always walk away from pregnancy they don't want if the woman insist on keeping it, why not women have the right of deciding if she is willing to be saddled by a baby she does not want or not prepared for or will negatively alter her quality of life?
Who is asking you to conform? We are all entitled to our opinions same way some of us choose to be PRO-LIFE.
DeleteAre you allergic to hard truth?
ReplyDeleteYoure telling ANG and DON to keep off!!
Youre not even a sensible woman.
Youre lucky its not HIV, have u even done HIV test?
Keep off her post. She doesn't need people like you and yes she has the right to choose who she wants to advise her.
DeleteBefore you say I'm the poster, I'm not the poster but people like you are annoying.
@15:08, I don't think she is allergic to hard truth...however this is a woman who has already judged herself and knows that what she did is wrong in God's sight, AND does not want to be reminded by the likes of you and ANG who are nothing but judgemental hypocrites, who think they are above mistakes. The very reason I despise Religion.so keep off her post!
DeleteHow is what she did wrong in God’s sight? Who did she offend?
Delete@16:35
DeleteThis woman that posted this goes to Church, didn't you read that?
Since you despise Religion, aren't you the one that should keep off her post?
You immerse yourselves in Religion, commit the worse of atrocities with your VJ
and turn around to pretend that you are religiously churchy. You are known in the
church/religion not by Christ.
To put it straight she fornicated and she is pregnant. In case you didn't know, formication is when you sleep with a man who is not your husband. It is sin. She knows and has accepted it.
DeleteAbeg leave ANG and her made up perfect life.
DeleteShe has never sinned or made mistake before. Infact in school she never missed a question in class she always scored 100%.
Anon 15:08, we had done test previously. We talked of getting married and I somehow believed him. It's u who is senseless. I choose whom to take advice from. And u and ur kinds are not welcome.
DeleteAnon 15:46, 16:35,and ***, thank u all so much. I think u guys really get the picture. LadyT, am not perfect,pls pray for me, so I can be as perfect as u.
Delete@Today's Chronicle Poster
DeleteIf you will come here to insult people, it shows you are unrepentant and will go this pathway again. What you call mistake isn't a mistake. You knew you could get pregnant when you were fornicating. You knew that fornication was bad and you claimed to be a Christian and presented yourself to the community as such and enjoyed every respect they could give you. You are a hypocrite and you know what? Jesus told the hypocrites woe to them Matthew 23:13-39. Let me give you another Scripture to help you;
2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear.
Why are people not scared of all these deadly diseases around? The deed has been done. Take Stella's advise and move on with life, children are God's gifts and for your age you should only be thankful. But please this should serve as a lesson to women and ladies especially, what if you discovered you have been infected with HIV and not even this pregnancy?
ReplyDeleteHIV is now considered malaria in their eyes today, no fear of God again, no fear of the disease.
DeleteSome ppl assume once they've none smone for long, childhood toaster or ex they are safe and let their guards down. I bet if she just met the person she will insist on protection.
DeleteRisk ppl take daily. hmmmmm
Let me add to Stellas advice which is very on point, if d hypocrite ask, tell them u did IVF cos u need another child.
DeleteTimes r hard,incase u can't afford a new place , just blow them off and guard ur Peace . You did nothing wrong and stop beating urself up, he played u , u r not a lose woman. Best of luck dear
As I said bfor, we spoke of marriage and kids. So we had tests done. Another fact, he is not married, I know him and his family in and out.
DeleteYes, he's not married but he was philandering. That was why he was always standoffish whenever he's in the country.
DeleteYes, I base in the abroad and I know a friend who goes home with a list of women to tidy. He does not exhaust it for those 2 weeks holidays but he returns back utterly exhausted, having marked up to half the list. Each of them gets at least 2 visits.
On some occassions he would have 3 people booked for one day (morning, noon and evening). And as soon as he returns to the U.K. he will start cultivating another batch for the next year. You will never catch him clubbing or talking to a girl here. He focuses on his job and grooming his next Christmas victims...and they fall hard for him because he has the cash and the good looks to wow them with. I have advised so tey I don tire. I just told him to wait for his karma...My babe is always repulsed when I tell her of his conquests. I have stopped horrifying her with those stories. It's too much mehn..
I just maintain my connection with my babe because I can't deal with the sword of Damocles hanging over my head. I pray for his deliverance though...and I feel sorry for those babes.
Anny 02:34 e be like sai we get mutual friend. Although all my friends us the Abroad to prep the girls they'll have sex with. Imagine a foreign number messaging you on WhatsApp and asking...... Mba I can't burst this line. That's breaking guy code Mehn.
DeleteThis pickup line work 99.9% of the time unless the girl/woman is 100% faithful to who they're with or completely hate men. Nigerian women never hear Sha, when you're done warning them to be careful of ndị 'just got backs' they won't hear.
They think opening their legs warns them any special place in the guys heart.
It works 99.9% of the time with the kind of girls you / your friends roll with, a reflection of you people.
DeleteSince you planning on keeping d child, inform the father, cos surely he or she will ask about "daddy" n hey, that guy sounds very taken, off the market.
ReplyDeleteBy the way church n area people will talk n gossip, afterall they know you are not a nun...hopefully you haven't been preaching abstinence and keeping yasef holy as Sunday school topic in church.
Her type will be sharing Rapsody every month and disturbing neighbours
DeleteAnon 15:27 Don't mind her, she's the one that will be advising girls in the area to stay away from boys and don't have sex o.
DeleteMeanwhile she's sex chatting and fcuking without condom, hanging legs on the burglary windows. .��
But you were warned to KEEP OFF @Don? Is it that you didn't understand that part or you are the type that love to chook* head where you are not wanted or what?
DeleteLol! DON, you were told not to advice OGINI?
DeleteYou can come and collect my phone o @16:29
DeleteYou should change your location only you are like my hypocrite cousin that will turn her hypocritical nose at you if you hang out boys but was pimped all the way to Germany to a white man she has never met lol. Did I tell you she aborted oh and called it treatment. When others do its abortion . She lays with men in her bedroom cos she has apartment and she calls it dating. When you visit guys in their home so you know them better , she calls you waka waka. True life story.
DeleteDon, I know u will be here to suck my ass. I know u personal and u know me. It will shock u to ur ancestors when u find out who I am.
DeleteWow.. Now I know you but why didn't you tell me yourself but waiting for me to find out here.
DeleteWow wow.. You got me for real but it's cool.. Everything is becoming clearer now
Really.. Somebody wake me up.
Don are you the baby daddy?🚶♂️
DeleteWell the deed is done, I was going to go off because one would expect better from someone your age. How can you allow a repeat offender play you like that? You were only scared of pregnancy not STD, “he promised to pull out” in 2020.
ReplyDeleteIf you cared so much about what people would say, you wouldn’t have gone ahead to sleep with this man at all or without protection. The hypocrisy of you Christians though, it’s not sin if no one catches you in the act right? Imagine worried “what people would think” after the act and not before. Anyway, change church if you wouldn’t be able to stand the backlash that would definitely come from “like-sinners” like you because nobody holy pass. This is why it’s best to be the best version of yourself at all times so that people know first hand what to expect.
As for pikin papa, you should notify him if you can reach him. Go through old chats or something, I’m sure his contact would be somewhere. Let him know the rough play you both had has yielded fruit and he needs to know in case he wants to be in the picture so you can also know how to tell the child. If you can’t reach him I’m sure he’d be in touch as usual when he needs you to scratch his itch. Please use protection henceforth, withdrawal does not prevent disease. Women won’t stop taking risks for men who wouldn’t blink an eye to save or protect them.
God bless you doppel.I have nothing more to add.
DeleteWhere's the lie? I have nothing more to add.
DeleteDoppelganger, ur judgement is biased. So much hatred in u. We had tests done. He has already contacted me but am in no mood for him now.
DeleteThanks dopple, it's not sin if no one catches you but sin when they are caught.
DeleteHow does she have so much hatred?
DeleteLet people tell you the hard truth, you made a risky move.
You keep saying you ran tests, some results do not even pop up immediately, what if the virus was already in his system?
If the guy was still giving you green light you would have still been opening legs for him ( commiting fornication) you have chosen to get sense cus he isn't all that into you.
No one is your family member so not everyone will tell you what you want to hear.
You sound like a very judgmental person,that would label people what they aren't... Stop sounding like the hypocrites in the Bible.
Keep your child, tell the dad, and do not bother what the church has to say. You are old enough and no one is paying your bills, ask your father in heaven for forgiveness and keep it moving.
Why dont you ladies insist on condom? It saves you ALOT of sleepless nights & worries. I dont just get it
ReplyDeleteAnon...don't mind them,according to them,it will not be sweet.
DeleteWomen, always at the receiving end.God have mercy
Mmmhhhhhhhhhhhhh, make I keep off o.
ReplyDeleteI go keep off from you with your...
"Endless calls, video calls, chats, video s#x etc....forks and felt like not needed, and ashamed of myself...my pride and being church pastor... "
My mouth shut up on those ones 🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐
But for the pikin for inside ya belle?
Mbanu...that one na my concern kpata kpata...
No shoot off
No strangulation
No AK47 (alabokun k 47)
No hiding of pikin papa from pikin o...
That baby should not be missing for any reason inugo?
God hates hands that shed innocent blood Proverbs 6:16-17
Nne, keep scattering ya legs, doing fork-nication, pastoring in "church," and being known in your community inugo?
ooops, ANG should keep off 🤐🤐🤐
😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱
ANG if they listen to you, they'd avoid ALOT of chronicles.
DeleteYou see that toto? Toto can give alot of pleasure, pikin or pain, so whenever you open it, be sure to experience either of the "P".
Ang Ang Ang...u are getting it twisted as usual. I know him well, we did tests and I agreed to try for a baby as we've spoken abt it. I'll love to have those babies...Amen.
Delete@Today's Chronicle poster
DeleteYou see why I wrote earlier that what you did was not a mistake? You tactfully hid the fact that you desired the babies and agreed with him to fornicate. You are simply put a hypocrite! Repent and stop fooling yourself with the praises of people and church members.
19:55, pls pray for me to be as perfect as u. And since u are assistant and pa to GOD, pls save me.
DeleteMy prayer for you is that you first should stop insulting people and repent and receive Jesus as your Lord and savior.
DeleteAwwwwwwwww....I feel you sis. It’s quite painful that man treated to this way. But you should have studied him enough to not fall for him like that.
ReplyDeleteSince you don’t have his contacts anymore, wait till he calls and chats you. Break the news to him. Wether he accepts or not, let it be known that you told him.
Do you have a job/business? If you don’t, God will provide one for you.
Incase of next time you want to have sex, insist on condoms, not to prevent just pregnancy, but STDs and STIs etc.
Please have your baby. You never can tell what this beautiful child you are carrying will bring your way.
As for your church and area members, be ready to face side talks, gossips and definitely they will show you how disappointed you are. You know what? Don’t let it get to you. We all sin and fall short of the glory of God. If you hear what some of those “righteous” ones do in secret, you’d be shocked. Who them catch, Na e be thief.
It’s not easy to stay years without having sex, you are human.
And oh, next time, do not give that man the opportunity to make you feel unwanted and low. Close that chapter.
May God protect you on this journey sis ♥️♥️♥️
Slutty,I love you to bits. Am still hurting from his actions, am so disappointed in him and in me. But I've pepped up, though my heart fails me sometimes. I work and earn okay, almost 200k and I have a bidding business that brings daily income. I intend keeping it, I have decided to face what ever happens when my Belle shoots out. Some ppl around think my husband stays abroad cos some knows my ex-husband. Am sometimes worried but am manning up small small. Tnx and be blessed.
Delete@Today's Chronicle poster
DeleteGod is still hurting from your actions and disappointed in you. Repent.
19:56, keep praying for me. Maybe wit ur power and perfect life,I will be as perfect as u
DeleteRepentance is the prayer that God will answer before any other.
Delete**** you are a pharisee and an hypocrite, monitoring spirit that is what you are and I bind you in Jesus Name, AMEN. Slutty, I have said it before you are someone that doesn't condemn judgmentally but still doesn't approve wrong may God bless you. Poster you are seeking for advice that is why you brought your issue here I pray God will show you mercy and restore you, settle you in Jesus Name. The word of God said rejoice not over me oh my enemy for when I fall I shall rise again. ****, ANG, Don and their likes take not.
DeleteMy dear sis,so sorry this is happening,but babe trust me dude is soooo married in Nigeria and very selfish,its a pity you didn't insist on condom,silly mistake you made.
ReplyDeleteThat being said,as long as your capable of taking care of your child,damn everything or anything anyone thinks and move on with your kids and keep your head high,also like Stella said,inform the man,so he gets to know,your not doing it to trap him,its just right he knows.
Poster be strong and keep the baby... It will be tough emotionally, psychologically and physically but you CAN do it. The deed has been done already... Forgive yourself and reconnect with God. Like Stella adviced, leave the area if you can and let the man know about his unborn child whenever he calls. Be strong poster.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that caught my attention is that you are 44 yrs old and pregnant so there is great hope for me getting pregnant too...i am 35 with a 7yrs old daughter but i have been trying to get pregnant for years now but not happening so with your story i am more hopeful...
ReplyDeleteIt will happen for you, MDee. 🤗🤗
DeleteAwwww...your light will shine dear
DeleteMay God grant your desire MDee
DeleteThe only thing that caught my attention is that you are 44 yrs old and pregnant so there is great hope for me getting pregnant too...i am 35 with a 7yrs old daughter but i have been trying to get pregnant for years now but not happening so with your story i am more hopeful...
ReplyDeleteAww God has done it MDee..Am so inspired by this chronicle too
DeleteGosh, this got me misty eyed.
ReplyDeleteContact the guy, sis. Allow him to make the decision of being in the child's life or not, do not blank him out. Pride is not even a good look in this situation, trust me.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulder even though it might not look like it to people. You have been blessed with babies, some are in desperate need for this miracle..Shame should be the least of your problems. Shame has never kill anybody. Keep yo head up, sis. xx
Who told you shame has never killed anyone? It kills!!
DeleteAnonymous 15:35 if you allow it to kill you.
DeleteSigh.
DeleteIt's a concealed dangerous emotion that can lead to terrible consequences if you allow it..literally, it doesn't kill but whatever you say, Anon.
Perxie darling, thank you so much sis. I can't move out as it's my house and I have a good business there. I will only learn to remove my shame. I'll be in touch.
DeleteI can't keep off from this your shameless matter. Better call the guy and tell him you're pregnant.
ReplyDeleteI know kukuma dey there when he hanged your legs and you're shouting harder harder!
So you no dey hang your girlfriend leg when she dey shout harder?
Deletelol 🤣🤣🤣 Thus guy is something
DeleteI dey hang her wella, bend her double sef but she never come here to complain of anything. 😂
DeleteChai! This guy na real aproko macitablet! Oga so you couldn't keep off? Nawa
DeleteOh my.so sorry
ReplyDeleteStella your comment is on point this afternoon ..Madam follow the red pen.Try and let him know what he has planted and move on with your life.You do not have to be ashamed of yourself,you are a grown woman..Take care of your baby and yourself
So sorry to read this.
ReplyDeleteThat man is married in Nigeria and just using you to satisfy his stupid fantasies.
Please do not bother about what people will say but be more concerned about making your life right with God.
A lot of people in Churches are living the double life and that is not proper at all. You have a chance to change. Let them judge you, but let God hear and keep you.
Remember that tax collector that went with the Pharisee to pray in a temple. he said "God be merciful to me a sinner" and Jesus told us that he was heard instead of the Pharisee.
And I want to warn all the ladies that get involved with sex or phone sex that most guys have cameras recording these stuffs.
Thank God for your children.
Let them talk nah, who CARES? Some pipo r ready to do anything to have just 1 child,u r there worried about pipo
DeleteMadam i CELEBRATE uuuuuu. U can't understand sha. Pls take care of u and zero d Mofa.
Tnx 17:09. I pray for Grace daily
Delete@Today's Chronicle poster
DeleteYou pray for Grace and you fornicate, really? If this man comes to Nigeria now and asks you to open legs won't you do it?
Shall you continue in sin that grace may abound? Romans 6:1
Yes, I quote Scriptures to you because you are a church goer who is disgracing Christ with your lifestyle.
**** you that is not disgracing Christ with your lifestyle, is this how Christ will treat someone seeking his advice? The same measure you use in judging her will be meted back to you, you will be shock to know your place will be with the Pharisees.
DeleteLike I said, this is a very simple matter, a child at that age which happens to be your second only, is a blessing, no one can accuse you of being single and still over populating. The only shame you will have is if are one of those double life people like my cousin,she can and her sister can commit murder and not feel a qualm about it , her only interest would be how to white wash her self to continue living her hypocritical life. But you poster seems like a straightforward person, if not you will be talking on how to take treatment to cover your shame.
DeleteKind words and advice right? Ok,he is married,so please take care of your baby by yourself just as you have planned.One more thing,stay off sex or insist on condoms.All the best!
ReplyDeleteEven condom fails
DeletePoster, Madam Stella have said it all, take that advice and move on.... May God take charges...
ReplyDeleteForget church people. Times like this I console myself with the words of Marcus Aurelius, that soon all these people you try to weigh their opinions, soon all of we go die.
ReplyDeleteSo to each, his own sin
Remember when Christ told Peter, the first Christian leader that he will fall, but when he does, he should rise again. You wey be leader, you don see as e dey be. Na falling and rising
Giving advice is cheap sha
It made me sad to read that you were abandoned by your ex when you were pregnant.
ReplyDeleteIf you’re keeping this child, it’s only fair to let the father know. Just tell him matter of factly that you are pregnant. Let him do what he wants with the information. Don’t listen if he starts to pressure you to abort it. Infact you shouldn’t have any extended talk with him.
Just a simple... “ oh hey, how are you? I just found out that I’m having a baby after our last encounter. I thought I would be courteous and let you know as the biological father”. No long story
Lol, I like u already. I go try
DeleteI would have loved to use very harsh words on you (but, you're a big sister)
ReplyDeleteYou're seen as a leader but, you didn't act like a leader.
How can you make the same very strong mistakes twice?
You fall my hand big time.
I will not advice you to tour the abortion paths. Please, put you pride aside and find a way to reach this man and tell him that you're pregnant for him
How can you say he refused to use protection... Most of these men that thrusts their member in every available hole, have not mastered the art of withdrawal method.
I believe you wanted to carry his child, so you didn't even care to take morning after pills or whatever that pill is called.
Please, keep your baby and damn what your church people and neighbours will say.
P.S. You were dating a married man
This chronicle pass me, my happiness now is you can take care of the child,but please reach out to the man responsible, it's the proper thing to do , no matter his respond after opening up to him.#usecondomNextTime# it saves you Hot Migraine.
ReplyDeleteTake Stella's advice my dear. You should also weigh your chances before letting him know about the pregnancy. Knowing the kind of person he is, if you think he's going to hurt you with his words just ignore and don't tell him at all so you don't go through emotional trauma in your state as it's the least thing you need at the moment.
ReplyDeleteAlso a little advice: you had unprotected sex with him and your only fear was pregnancy. What about diseases and infection? I'm sure you both didn't run a test before going under the sheets. And going by the way most people are infected this days especially with HIV, you should be more scared of those and here you're. What if he gave you HIV in addition to the pregnancy, you'd be battling both by now.
I'm glad Stella post Chronicles here on a daily but it seems we learn nothing from them at all. We just read, insult the poster as we wish and move on to make same mistakes and come back with same chronicle seeking for advice. We all make mistakes but hey! Please chronicles are eye openers, learn from people's experiences and don't wait till it happens to you. Thank you
On the flipside, it’s been a running joke that ladies should do their pregnancy tests before abroad guys travel back to the abroad to avoid stories that touch.
ReplyDeleteI see it’s not just a joke afterall
He promised he doesnt have STD.
ReplyDeleteHe promised me marriage.
He promised to always love me.
WOMEN!!! Just promise yourself that you'd have sense this 2020.
Both of you never had time to talk but you had time for sex? Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteWhich one be video sex again?
I thought age comes with maturity?
You allowed a man treat you this way?
Which advice do you need?
My friend, stop allowing men take advantage of you. You can't be having sex with a man you met just 3 times.
You feel so pained because sex was involved.
I always say this, when a relationship is over, the lady might feel hurt but if there was no sex, she feels happy and give thanks to God that she didn't let the man in.
The man would wish he had sex with her and might even plot a come back just for that reason.
Be wise, ladies!
You are perfect,
DeleteDo you know how it feels to be lonely and horny.
Please it has happened,move on
with the judgement
Tenth, God bless u and empower ur business more and more.
DeleteDear poster,
ReplyDeleteI suggest you contact the father of your baby. If he chose to be a deadbeat father so be it. And again if you can't face what your Church members or neighbors would say kindly pack out of that area asap before you start showing. Good luck.
Best advice 👍🏽
DeleteNaah...not moving sis. It's my house,my home and my enterprise is there. I choose shame over hunger biko.
DeleteDear poster, you’ll be fine...
ReplyDeleteany thing u want to do, do it well. If you want to live in Christ , do. If you want to flex , do it. Dont stand in the middle, Neither heaven nor the devil will fight for you. If u wanted to fork and u are in the world, you will never forget condom. But because you are confused, you had sex without protection..
ReplyDeleteyour confusion is playing up again now that u are pregnant.
Its only God that you have offended, Not man. If you serve God, commit yourself to him to forgive you and strengthen u.. if you serve God and Man,you will continue to complicate your life. I wish you well.
Pls pray for me to be as perfect as u.
DeletePoster stop justifying your action jor! You are calling her perfect, yet you were living a hypocritical life. God cannot be mocked. But guess what? He forgives, even before we ask. You should be more bothered about pleasing the one who sees both in secret and in the open and not "world people".
DeleteOh dear,poster I'm sorry for what u going thru..d deed is done,stay strong for ur baby pls and try get in touch with d baby father by all means..I'm glad u can fend for urself and ur children, even if d guy doesn't want to be involved at least u can take care of d baby
ReplyDeleteHold ur self high and don't be bothered about what people will say,cos they will always talk but if u can't stand it,kindly move out that area completely..
A situation like this happened in my church and d lady refused coming to d Church, my pastor and wife went and counsel her,encouraged her it's not d end of d world! Told d congregation of not judging nor neglecting anyone who made a mistake of such..in no time she resumed back and was accepted by all
Talk to ur pastor about it
Sending u love and light
Peppa, u have encouraged me,tnx.
DeleteYou really don't need any advice because you know just what you're doing from the get go.
DeleteYou only want people sympathy, I can see the group of Aww, Aww, the pity party that you needed urging you on..
Get ready for a very long thing..
This poster and Don🤔 is there something you both are not telling us?
Delete"Get ready for a long thing" 😕
Anyways poster I am happy you are keeping the child. At this point you shouldn'care what people will say. People have their own issues to worry about. After sometime they will forget and even rejoice at the arrival of their baby. You will be fine.
Aww I dunno why I shed tears reading this chronicle..I just want to get you a bear hug..Wherever you are, E-hugs to you..Congratulations on your baby please love him/her cause part of you is in that child..Just let him know but sweetie, I believe he is married (Sad truth)..Wow at 44, most women find it hard to conceive but just got one easily...Am really touched by this..Please this is your life you owe no one any explanation.All the best...
ReplyDeleteMe too,I felt like giving her a warm hug and Tell her everything will be alright.
DeletePhoenix and tenth, I actually do need hugs right now. I'll put stick ons to remind me not to stress as much.thank u
DeleteYou are so lucky to get pregnant at this age, the deed has been done keep the pregnancy and let him know.
ReplyDeleteMany women get pregnant at her age and older, I know many of them.
Deletesome men are dirty likewise some women too.i use flesh for my wife alone but supporting wives outside,strictly X2D.
ReplyDeleteOga,go and sit down.You are also dirty for having sex outside your marriage,double condom or not.I hope you know condom doesnt protect against all STD's right? Repent from your cheating ways.
DeleteAnonymous 16:29 e go surprise you say your partner dey fork outside, siddon dia dey talk.
DeleteMy dear poster wipe your tears, you will be alright. I understand how you feel. And this can happen to anyone. If not that I have been in a similar situation i would have been judging and saying things i dont know. I toatally agreed with stella that you move away for a while and have your baby. It is also important that you tell the father just for information sake.
ReplyDeleteI have been there, heartbroken from a relationship lonely as hell and having bad withdrawal syndrome. Because I pieced myself around this guy. Then here comes an old chyker that I had rejected o because I was in love. He was so nice, and was ready to show me that he cared. I was always crying and he would always listen. I remember the first day that we tried making out, I cried hot tears because for years no other man had touched me sexually, he had to let me be.
We had sex after I made him get tested and he promised to pull out.
But in hindsight, I say to myself what if i got pregnant? Because I know I dont love him, and we later agreed to remain friends. But what if in that moment I got pregnant? I'm someone that always has her guard up but heartbreak got me loosing my mind.
So this can happen to anyone. Mind you the day we had the sex, it wasn't planned. So no protection. And I was already used to the fact that once I tell him no, or once I start crying he will just stop what ever he is doing. But it just happened.
You had the time to have him get tested ,but didnt have time for condom.What if he didnt withdraw as promised,or pre-cum was released before the main ejaculation.I hope you know pre-cum can make a lady pregnant right?
DeleteThat is the purpose of my write up, people make mistakes. Miss perfect. The poster pretty much sounds like she've got a good head on her shoulder. Sometimes people do things without thinking. It doesn't make them less of a human being. So I understand her and I do not judge her at all.
DeleteDear poster, life happens; sometimes the greatest blessings are covered this way. The did is done, please take your mind of every disappointment you feel right now and concentrate on the blessing you have coming, which is the baby. No one is your God, do not let what they think or will be saying about you rob you off your joy. I know how you feel and I know you saw the signs but you held on with the hope that he might change. Loneliness is no joke hence I will not judge you at all. I'm sure if you go through your call log, you will see his number there even if it's no more registered on your phone. Please reach out to him and tell him you are expecting his child, as Stella said, let him know you do not expect marriage but just telling him.
ReplyDeletePure truths. He's casually reached out to me but for now, I dnt need him
DeletePlease and please keep the baby,
ReplyDeleteIn life forget people oooo
keep the baby,you made a mistake and a beauty came out of it.
What if cos of people you try a d and c and they make a mistake in the hospital,who will care for you 6 year old,people will abandon you.
Plssss keep the baby ,
Poster no need to cry anymore. You made the mistake of trusting the wrong man with your love. Trust me he is very much married. Now is the time to dust off and move on. However, you must tell him about the pregnancy but please do not go back to him! It will end in more tears. Yes your church people will talk, do no not worry. Soon sth else will be their focus. E-hugs.
ReplyDeleteTrue.
DeletePoster you don't have to pack out from your area unless you have enough money. People will always talk. In no distant time, they'll find another focus. It happened to someone that lived in my street. Very beautiful lady and very religious too. Yet her fellow church member deceived her and got her pregnant. People talked but they still got tired. The guy abandoned her initially and she really suffered. But after she had the baby, the guy finally married her after a few years. So you can do it my dear. As long as you are gainfully employed and can take care of yourself and your children. Just tell the man responsible. Who knows? He might decide to marry you
If he does not have a cogent reason or cannot give one about his bipolar , nepa behavior
DeleteMarrying him will be bad market and compound an already awkward and painful
Some are commitment phobic
Forcing them or them thinking they are being coerced always backfires as resentment starts to build
It isn't logical but it is what it is
If he does not have a cogent reason or cannot give one about his bipolar , nepa behavior
DeleteMarrying him will be bad market and compound an already awkward and painful
Some are commitment phobic
Forcing them or them thinking they are being coerced always backfires as resentment starts to build
It isn't logical but it is what it is
Just let him know but keep your kid,don't fall for him again,he is not into you
ReplyDeleteWhy will he feel trapped when he had sex without a condom.
When you tell him to,becareful of him cos he may want a forceful d and c
Don't fall for any lovey dovey
Dear Poster, sending you lots of love and light. I wish you a very suceessful, smooth pregnancy. May the Lord grant you the strenght to get through this phase. Please take Stella's advice and inform the father of the child. Keep your head up sis! Your baby is a blessing, always remember that.
ReplyDeleteZEE.
Poster, everyone makes mistakes. Do not dwell on it. Time to move along. Focus on having your baby. I would rather you call him and let him know that you are pregnant. Let him know that you are not expecting anything from him but you are letting him know just for his information. You have two kids. Raise them and live your life. There are lots of women looking for a child. You weren’t trying to get pregnant and it just happened at 44. My dear rock your pregnancy. You know you don’t owe anyone an explanation in church??
ReplyDeletePlease, keep us updated. Sending you lots of hugs.
Cinnamon dear, I will keep u good guys posted, tnx from my heart
DeletePoster read the book ' Why men love bitches' and 'the power of the pussy' those books changed my life. You were wrong in allow that man sleep with you without condoms. Your heart is not separated from your vigina that's why he got you so bad. three times you say! Tell him about your pregnancy, he deserves to know and you need help in raising the child in your womb. I know your type, forming super woman. I'm sure that guy didn't take your out to a nice restaurant or buy you gifts because you are forming super woman and in love.
ReplyDeleteSadly, another truth here. So sad.
DeletePoster, I'm sure you sure you are the type of woman that forms holier than thou in church and street now your detty December dealings has come out. Tell the baby daddy. At 44, one should expect more from you knowing this isn't his first time
ReplyDeleteYes, she's the type that sits at the front row seats, directly in front pastor and be shouting " pastor ride on " pastor I receive it "
DeleteMeanwhile she's sex chatting and having sex without proper discussion with their " Mr Banger" ..
Forming Mother Mary for area.
DON
DeleteCrowing and mocking others places you in a bad light
She asked that you shouldn't speak
Perhaps she wanted to avoid the lack of useful advice and mockery coming from you who has never made a mistake
Sis I am 33 and i am an only child, I have a 5 year old son crying for a baby sister and baby brother daily.
ReplyDeleteWipe your tears and thank God for giving you a second child so your first child has someone to play with. Being an only child is horrible.
If the shame is too much where you live now, pls pack your things and leave suddenly don't tell anybody o just do it low key. You can call family meeting and tell your family the situation and they will support you and say whatever they like but they are your family so they don't have choice.
Don't call the guy to tell him anything wait till the day he calls you then tell him simple.
I wish you safe delivery sis. Lots of love, hugs and kisses.
GOD hears little children
DeletePlease tell your son to lay hands on your belly and pray
Also ask him to pray harder
Join hands with him and your husband and let him lead prayer
You are teaching him a powerful lesson of faith and GOD answering prayers!
I am really touched by this chronicle because this could have been me. Last Dec when I came home for Christmas, I met up with someone I'd known since way back. I was very attracted to him then and was surprised that years after it was still unchanged. It was the same with him. He invited me to his place and it was SO tempting to go but something told me clearly that if I go, whatever will hapoen will lead to a pregnancy so I declined and we only met up for lunch at restaurants, and outside generally. It was super hard but I am thankful for the grace to overcome that temptation.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you feel you will be able to handle that temptation and won't let things get out of hand but I have learnt it is far better to avoid it.
The way some of you throw curses and judge others, even God doesn't judge anyone this way or wish us pain so that we can see the error of our ways. Think about it, Jesus described his father as making the sun shine on the good and the wicked and Christ died for all- That all may be saved.
ReplyDeleteYou are quick to judge and cast stones because unlike the poster you are too religious to bring your mess out in the open or ask for help.
Ma, God loves you and the deed has been done. Love your self, your child and learn from your mistakes. You are worthy of love and deserve good things. Just make better decisions and look out for your interests. Contrary to what you might feel cos of guilt, God truly loves you and is there for you. You disappointed men and yes, they would talk and laugh and judge but not God.
I'm rooting for you. Step back, pray, learn and then thrive.
Poster, first, let me say congratulations. Since you've always wanted another baby, I really think you should just bone society and rock your pregnancy. If you can afford it, move out our change church and recruit those who've always been in your corner during these trying times.
ReplyDeleteAs for the father, I think your state of mind right now would not help if you were to tell him immediately. I'd say tell your family or supportive close friends. When the pregnancy is about 5 months or longer tell him then to avoid insulting suggestions that would be difficult to forgive later. Remember you have a daughter relying on you to make wise decisions. My guess is that he's married to or seriously involved with someone in Nigeria and won't be ecstatic about the news initially.
In the pilgrim's race, we all falter and fall. The important thing is to get back up again. If you were hypocritical or judgemental, at least you have learned that no condition is permanent so you don't look down on people. Stop comparing yourself to others and just thank God all you've gotten so far from that encounter is a child. You could have caught an STD so there's a lot to be thankful for. Start antenatal, get tested and start planning your nursery.
In life, let us learn not to judge by appearances and not to ignore or own wants and needs in the name of being religious. The reason why good church girls have these kind of problems is because they place themselves under unreasonable burdens and when their humanity comes knocking, because of got, shame, they take huge risks. Sex is a need and is not marriage. Like food, there's no working around it. Waiting for visions before you scratch that itch would only make you switch off sense when pressed. The people who wrote that one should be celibate were married by age 14. Solomon had a thousand official women and he said he had never seen a good woman so who are you trying to impress? Equip yourself about sex with information and tools, and respond to the urge smartly, protecting yourself and the ones you love. I wish you the best going forward.
**Like food, there's no working around it. Waiting for visions before you scratch that itch would only make you switch off sense when pressed.**
DeleteI beg to disagree. We are not animals.
Anon 18:14. God bless you. You lifted me up.
DeleteWe really are not animals
DeleteWithout sex you will not die
But food, water and air lack can kill
If we couldnt control the urges
We wouldn't be asked by GOD to flee appearances of evil and restrain ourselves
It is hard especially if you are attracted to or really like/love the person BUT IT IS POSSIBLE!
Avoid temptations and temptating situations
GOD help us all
You're most welcome Today's chronicle poster. I wish you a peaceful journey through pregnancy and motherhood. Inquire about the genotype of the father so you are prepared from day one (as another poster suggested) and explain to your daughter how she's going to be a big sister soon. By the time the bulge starts to show and the scans come in, I'm sure you won't even have space for those who are talking.
DeleteOh my. so Sorry dear, please find out the man's genotype before keeping the baby oo inugo!
ReplyDeleteKeep your pregnancy and I pray for a safe and healthy pregnancy.TTC is not a joke so getting pregnant at your age is a big blessing.
ReplyDeleteAbeg you guys should stop this getting pregnant at your age isnt easy, women conceive into their 40s abeg, many others tie their women when they are done with having kids but if not pregnancy will occur except there are fertility issues.
Delete*hugs* stay positive, we've all made bad choices and horrible mistakes. Just focus on the way forward. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteLearn from your mistakes, ask GOD for forgiveness and move forward
DeleteIf you really want to keep the baby please don't tell him. Just research about him and his family and when you birth your baby then you can tell him.
ReplyDeleteThis is the story of my Life. Only problem I'm facing now is how to fall pregnant as a single mom. I have tried having few casual relationships and make myself available when ovulating but so far I have not been able to achieve this and it's eating me up but here is someone here seeing it as a problem. My dear better begin to thank God for this pregnancy cos you would have ended up very sad when you start looking for pregnancy like me in the future
ReplyDeleteI hope you realise AIDS is real? Please stop jeopardizing your future via casual relationships.
DeletePlease try and reach out to him. People will definitely talk but the most thing is for you to be strong for your kids. Don't think of aborting the baby, when so many people are looking for kids. I wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteThe mistake has been made, you owe no man but God, ask him for forgiveness and you are forgiven instantly. Give no place to guilt and condemnation. God loves you all the same and will never condemn you because nothing can separate you from God's love.
ReplyDeleteTell the father though. Hold your head high, trust God for directions and He will lead and guide you. The whole shame and church thing is just for a while, serve all disciplinary actions against you with humility and serve God wholeheartedly. You will be fine mama😘😘
Dear poster, this one that you are replying everyone that tells you the truth with insults beats me. You only love those that tells you what you want to hear. OK oh
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that you committed fornication, please accept it, because as a Christian, when we refuse to accept what we have done, how can we find forgiveness. You know this, because you are the child of God's kingdom and you know His commands.
Mind you, no one is claiming righteousness, because our righteousness is from Christ alone, we are only pressing towards the goal.
I can't pretend to understand you loneliness and need, but God does, and He alone can guide your path more than whatever advice we give you here. We all here can only empathize with you, only the Holy Spirit can give you real help, mind you there is no kind of temptation that He doesn't know.
As a church of God, go to Him for guidance and don't be far from Him, that is there for you, even in times of trouble.
Bless you.
I cringe to think that so called Christians can condemn and judge poor imperfect ME for wrongs done, makes me cringe...where is the love the Bible talks about? I do wonder if these so called Christians will accept the gospel of Christ, if they lived in His time, because indeed he wined and dined with sinners and a harlot even washed His feet...I do wonder if it is the same Christ I read about in the Bible that today's 'Christians' talk about.Religion is far from what Christ brought....I really can't deal...
ReplyDeleteMadam, trust me, I know how you feel. Take it from me, you want another child but you don't NEED another child. Reasons? 1. You are 44 ma, this should be your "me age". Raising a baby shouldn't be on your plate. 2. You already have a daughter. Focus and invest your love and resources on her and trust God. 3. Even if you decide to keep this child, it is just unnecessary baggage, emotionally draining, health dangers for ur age and resource consuming. 4. I am sure you don't want to raise another child alone. That is not what you will want to show your daughter.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is get an abortion, it is best for you. Loosen up and date more. The earlier you replace that guy the better for your physical and mental health. And when you date, date for fun, have safe sex, keep your money safe and your daughter safer. Don't be needy, be fun instead. Just so you dont wake up one morning and find out you are 70 and you have missed out exhausting your entire youth in celibacy and raising fatherless children alone. YOUTH IS TRANSIENT! YOUTH IS TRANSIENT!! YOUTH IS TRANSIENT!!!
Why do I think DON is the owner of this pregnancy... #wildgrin...#catface...
ReplyDeleteI dey tell you🤐
DeleteI doubt, Don is not based abroad. I am guessing they live in the same estate and/or hooked up during SnM and she tried making him get her pregnant.
DeleteWhich Don, the ogba oso ahia of alaba mkt. that one has the tiniest dick of all times.
ReplyDeletePoster, you got pregnant at 44 without needing fertility treatments, praise God for his blessings my dear.
ReplyDeleteThe lines will continue to fall in pleasant places for you. Take good care of yourself, get plenty of rest and have a safe and healthy pregnancy. Everyone will face themselves so don't worry about what dem say.
@Todays poster... You're trying too much to seek validation from people who you know are juginas... Turn to the Lord in your heart and settle with him. You cannot kii yourself, like goes on, go and sin no more
ReplyDelete