Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Bog Visitor Narrative...

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Monday, January 06, 2020

Chronicle Of Bog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah!!!!







STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED


Hello Stella. Please I need your advise and and also advise from blog visitors as I don tire to think.


I am in a relationship with a guy for 5 months now though we have known each other for a year. Meeting my boo has been a breath of fresh air for me as I have met and kissed a lot of frogs.


Now the issue is this, we are planning to settle down next year but I have a problem. My s#x life is WACK which is due to how I was disvirgined years back in the form of mild rape. 


A quick flash back to that.. I went visiting my then boyfriend for the first time without the intent of having s#x only to pressurised to have it and despite my refusal, he went ahead to undress me and I gave in due to fear of him being brutal.


 That experience was HELL! It was damn painful! Since then I hated s#x and stayed off relationships for a while. I finally overcame it and resumed dating and my boyfriends then would complain that I was stiff and penetration was difficult anytime we tried to make love. It was always a tug of war! That ruined my relationships because I would always cringe at the sight of the D. I am glad now though bcuz I realised they were in for just s#x.


Immediately I met my current boo, I told him s#x is off as I have decided to be celibate till marriage. He agreed and said he wasn't after that and he can wait. We engage in extensive foreplay though.


Stella this guy is everything I prayed for. He doesn't pressurise me to do things I don't want to, he respects me, makes sacrifices and loves me to bits.
Now, I'm wondering how to let him know that I find s#x a nightmare and painful as I'm scared he may feel a certain way and I may loose him.
Please what do I do or how do I go about it?



*Na wah!!!.....
you will tell him the same way you told us,who go stay,go stay and who go go,go go!!!
If you are about to marry someone you cannot discuss issues like this with,please my sister,don't do it!
Take him out to Dinner in a nice Restaurant and that is where you should bring up the topic.....

50 comments:

  1. Tell him, so that he wont be sex starved in marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Abi o... Poster tell him now o. Not when you get married you begin to act like a mermaid. That shit is frustrating mehn and he may likely cheat and use that as an excuse... Since you guys are already indulging in foreplay why not just do the main the main? Why you still hoarding it? What's d difference? Well I just hope the guy is well endowed down there too and knows how to use his gbonla wella. Don't forget to send us your wnb oooo

      Delete
    2. Stella is right. Discuss it with him now and find a solution than for him to find out later and feel deceived and regret his decision to stay off sex, and even regret the entire relationship. I don’t know about the rape part 🤔🤔

      Delete
  2. I dont think hes a very sexually active man, he might have a major sexual issue also, so the celibate card just played in his favour... dont worry, hes got his own fears also, which hes battling with inwardly & ur reaction to the discovery.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just tell him . But minus the fancy restaurant abeg. It might make it look like a big deal.
      Just casually tell him the story of you being disvirgined and inform him that since then, penetration has been difficult due to you being afraid.
      Honestly if your man give you better foreplay, and gently eases in with better lube, na you go dey chase am sef.
      Many naija men dont know how to do.
      Wham bam thank you ma'am and the lots .
      Selfish in life and selfish on the bed too

      Delete
    2. Na so. Naija men go enter comot, and them no go send whether the woman follow am come or not.
      As a man, if your woman no dey come, you suppose dey get sleepless night

      Delete
    3. 18:34 such Naija men should better look out for their wives pleasure. Such women could be lured into cheating IF they run into a guy who unlocks their passion.

      Delete
  3. Tell am as you explained it up there
    Abi, wait for others to advice you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Babe see...wait for the right timing and tell him. Maybe wait for a discussion on a rape or molestation gist to come up then chip in that you too have a trauma from a similar circumstance. Start by being a defender or rape victims. You must tell him. I believe that when love like that of the Dakolo's find you, you will find healing and liberation for that trauma.

      Don't be afraid of loosing him.

      Delete
    2. Unlike your last line " don't be afraid to lose him"
      That's the word, don't just lose yourself..

      Delete
  4. Mild rape? 😮😮😮
    Naija girls no go kill me with terminologies
    Ehhhh, you no fit shout? No be wetin I yarn this morning? Make una define rape for me bikonu.
    And them just dey chop you raw without ketchup at all. Make una define fornication again for me o.
    Make next chronicle no be shoot off o
    😮😮😮😮
    Close legs till them pay ya bride price nne.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chopping raw without ketchup.. 😂

      Delete
    2. @Veteran preacher
      😂😮😊😂😂😂 I been don dey ask for you for inside IHN?
      How ya veteran association dey? I sabi say New Year resolution na to
      be a faithful wife/mother/sister me/ and preacher for Jesus
      E good o. 😊😊😊
      @Shooter Gyal and anon. Una welldone o. No shooting of reckless arrows this year
      Unu anugo? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

      Delete
    3. ANG!!! Happy New and glorious year!!! Welcome back. 🤗🤗❤️

      I missed both your annoying and sensible comments.
      Hope to see more love in your ministration (*maka ndi uta🏹🏹🏹). 😂😂

      Delete
    4. @21:45
      Ya yarn dey like ndi uta yarns. Me I carry telescope dey view your annoying and sensible comments.
      😊😊😊😊😊😊

      Delete
  5. Telling him about your fear or that you were raped is not a necessity if you work on your psyche. Believe me, is all psychological.
    Consider the fact that for all those guys, you already had fear or doubts at the back of your mind before sex but this one is your ‘husband’, the love of your life. You are willing to give yourself to him. There may be pains, but you will endure them and move past the phase of pain to that of pleasure. Just work on your psychology. By the time you get married, you will be ready.

    ReplyDelete
  6. apart from grace of God, it's great communication that is holding my marriage, I tell his whatever, however it comes out

    ReplyDelete
  7. Instead of reasoning how to tell him, why not try and get help from therapy session?. Pls sex is created to be enjoyed in marriage get help first before marrying anyone

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You just reminded me of my human sexuality class where we discussed frigidity, it is psychological, anxiety is at the root.

      Delete
    2. N.Dr. Agwoturumbe6 January 2020 at 16:25

      I just don’t get why women set themselves up for failure in marriage. You are having a sexual related PTSD and you are wondering how to tell your prospective husband instead of seeking counseling and therapy? WTF is wrong with y’all?

      Pray, God etc as if those who face these issues don’t prAy enough. We have to drop all this excessive spirituality and solve problems. God has not finished helping people in Syria it is to come and solve sex problem.

      Haba people. Get some sense. Madam, go for therapy and not in the church.

      Meanwhile, I don’t know any full blooded man these days that will agree for that celibacy bullshit. Sex is great. Embrace it and stop saving it. Someday is coming that u can’t enjoy it anymore then you can be celibate

      Delete
    3. Poster, Akproko Queen is right! Since you're almost celibate (indulging in foreplay is not being celibate) why don't you use this opportunity to attend sex therapy sessions. It will help you to a large extent.

      Don't enter marriage with this mindset. It will destroy both your spouse and your marriage.

      Get help, get married and enjoy sex with your spouse.

      Delete
  8. Wait until he pays your bride price before you open your mouth.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How will u feel if our men seal their mouths from telling us they have human size penis, 2 seconds, no erection, tiny penis etc?

      Do unto other as you want to be done to.

      Delete
  9. Poster, please open up to your boyfriend and let him know what you went through and how it all affected you. If he loves you enough, he’ll help you through it.....make you feel comfortable, and that he’ll be there for you. You can’t avoid that.
    Sisters, learn to open up to your serious boyfriends.. if they change after opening up to them, let them go....yours will stay and help you through the process.
    Some of these things drive our partners out to cheat. A lot of husbands are suffering due to lack or sex. Their wives refused to open up even till now. Sex is very important in marriage.
    Sex is good and must be enjoyed by by both partners.
    Poster, it’s your right to have great sex and enjoy it.
    Please, let’s not punish these men over something that can be corrected.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 👍👍👍

      Delete
    2. 😍😍😍😘😘😘

      Delete
    3. Well said!!!


      Open up and also go for therapy cos opening up alone won't help you....

      Delete
  10. Make use of SDK's advise, please.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Love is stronger than sex. Tell him the whole truth. And why are you even afraid?

    ReplyDelete
  12. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Enter your comment... dear follow Stella's advise, just open up to him, what will be will surely be.

    ReplyDelete
  14. You see that extensive foreplay will lead to the main deal before ona marriage. You two should stop deceiving ona self..

    To telling him... during that foreplay is the best timing.. Tell him to be gentle and get you seriously wet cos you don't have much experience. Since he treats you with respect guys aim will be to bring you pleasure. If he's really good at his game of foreplay you wont feel much pains.. Some guys just want penetration only and relief themselves esp guys wey no send you like your exes. What I my even saying ok bye.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After you wont let us see road with blog preaching, are u seeing ur life outside?

      Delete
    2. Anon 15:46...I never for once said I'm a pastor of any sort anytime here...I Love sharing what I share in the mornings.

      My life outside is full of light,fun and peace. Thank you.

      Delete
    3. Thats HYPOCRICY of the highest order.

      Delete
  15. Seek help first before getting married, sex is to be enjoyed between couples! To avoid unnecessary ish later on

    ReplyDelete
  16. Please I need someone to help me define these terms;
    Mild rape
    Moderate rape
    Severe rape

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mild rape: You normally engage in heavy romance & foreplay but u save sex for later... then one of those days, the guy gets carried away & wouldnt want to be left high n dry, he penetrates without ur consent, afterall pussy de exposed for him front.

      Moderate: Youre most likely dating this person, maybe even having sex occasionally, but this day ure not in the mood for sex, but he keeps pushin, begging for it... then results to being forceful, u know he'd have his way eventually if u struggle, and u wouldnt want him forcing his way thru.. so u reluctantly give in with the absence of ur emotions tho.

      Severe: Ripping off clothes violently, threats & a few slaps might be involved, no protection at all, caution thrown to the wind with ur bra... all cries falls on deaf ears, your painful screams & cries are ignored till he cums.

      ALL NA RAPE SHA.

      Delete
    2. Rape is rape.. A guy should be attentive to when a girl says NO. The thing is some girls will allow all the foreplay and when they get turned on to the peak their No to the guys will be sounding like Yes because of heightened konji.

      Delete
    3. Mild rape is when a guy is teasing you that he wants to do the do and you said no, he will continue until he does the do, he will apologize... Meanwhile all women experience this.
      Moderate rape is when a guy force himself on you and do the do... It takes time for you to start enjoying it but you will struggle with him, he won't apologize but hug you.
      Severe rape is when your guy or an intruder rapes you ie a rapist, they are very aggressive and you will feel pains like hell, if you haven't had it for long you might enjoy it, they walk away when they are done.
      Rape is rape.. Say no to rape.. Soapy.. Marlians

      Delete
    4. Me too I pause when I see am o.😂

      You said NO, he went ahead.

      Rape is rape. Period!

      Delete
  17. Please tell him asap, if you can't narrate you can tell him in a chat..any boy that rapes his gf must a a domestic abuser.
    Again you need to forget about that experience, let it out, there is no fear in having sex mostly when it is with someone you care about & willingly want to give yourself to. You need to relax and have the mindset to enjoy sex. Sex is important but its not food.
    This takes me back to how my first boyfriend/crush used to suck my boobs and finger me when I was still a virgin, he would beg me to allow him do the do,but for where, I finally let another guy do it but there was no blood at last, it was just a very tight pussy that refused to take in the dick, we tried for several days before he finally got in & he asked me where is the blood & I said oh I don't know,must there be blood? Lol,
    So I don't know if its the fingering that made blood not to come out or it was just meant to be so.

    ReplyDelete
  18. still bear in mind he will cheat if he can't get enough sex from you. so you should prepare yourself for that kind of situation if it eventually happens. guys love sex die.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Business loans. Chat me up 081065096846 January 2020 at 21:44

    Poster kindly talk to him. Tell him all. if e go stay e go stay.

    ReplyDelete

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