Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists -Growing Up With Strict Parents

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Saturday, January 11, 2020

Saturday In House Gists -Growing Up With Strict Parents

The term 'Strict parents' sounds cool right? 







Are you a product of a home with strict parent? Do you agree that strict parent cause harm for their kids later in future?

 Most people who grew up with strict parents move far away when they become adults and refuse to go home or have anything to do with their strict parents...

Ah ah but why?..One would think growing up with strict parents mean one grows up with the right values n life,right?Well not all agree to this school of thought...

One says'' You see these strict parents,they don't know the damage they have caused until they start growing old and start crying up and down that their kids have deserted them. I also have an elder brother who doesn't even like coming home nor even likes calling my parents. But you see, they attribute such behaviour to a spiritual issue not knowing they ended up damaging their children's mental state of mind. Nigerian parents should stop the torture and dehumanisation all in the name of being strict/spiritual''.  

Where are those who grew up or growing up now with strict parents?Wanna gist us?..I grew up with strict parents and anyone who was my neighbour growing up would tell you that i was beaten every day for one thing or the other...Every day all in the name of correcting my mistakes......But guess what i didn't grow up with any negative mindset towards the parents,it just helped me become a better person and to know for a fact that being strict to a point of abusing the child physically,mentally,socially and otherwise is wrong!

Lets gist!

92 comments:

  1. My parents were very strict o but it paid off.we are all well-behaved.

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    1. I grew up with a strict mother,my father was never there for us. Her strictness made me what I am today, an introvert, secretive to my family members but prefer to open up to friends who eventually disappoint me. I can’t tell them about my sex or love live cuz while growing up my mother must not hear you talk about sex. If she sees us with a guy na all our neighbors go gather rescue us o. I used to think she disliked my elder sis cuz na soso beating everytime she’s caught with a guy. I don’t blame her but that’s how she believed we should be trained and I on the other hand will rather take my secret to the grave because of fear of being beaten or criticized publicly. Therefore, I’ll make my kids my best friends and teach them ex education early in life.

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    2. 15:37 You turned out alright. πŸ€—πŸ€—

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    3. Balance is key

      Don't indulge foolishness, parenthood comes before friendship


      Study your children
      Pray
      Behave well , you are the book they read

      Encourage good behavior
      Discourage bad

      Ask they grow , talk to them

      Delete
  2. Pls replace that strict with abuse. Most Nigerian parents are just abusive. They abuse their kids in the name of being strict. 95% of Nigerians who grew up under these so called strict parents went through physical, emotional, psychological and verbal abuse in their hands. Being a strict Nigerian parent is equal to mental, physical, psychological and mental abuse. A lot of Nigerian children will never ever forgive their parents for being "strict" on them.

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    1. So true. I was gang raped and started behaving very jumpy. my mom forced me to tell her what happened. Do u know she abused me then flogged the living daylights out of me. Meanwhile this happened when she sent me to buy her something. If that’s not abuse I don’t know what is

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  3. Thank God for my papa wey strict well well. His "no exit from home after 7.00 PM" helped me to stay on sanity's lane before Jesus found me. Before I got saved, I did everything to circumnavigate his rules but he was tough. My mom wasn't that strict but always employed my dad to whip us very well. My auntie filled in the gaps by teaching me Scriptures from an early age.
    And that is the main thing;
    spare the rod and spoil the child...
    Bring up a child in the way he should go and when he grows up he will not depart from it...
    Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.

    A lot of Naija sisis not get time for them pikins again o; those ones that wedded but not married. Pressing phones tdb for catch abroad husbands and ATM dudes that they drag in and steal fork for 105 naira.
    Some don even buy smart phones for 6 year old kids 😱😱😱
    That one no be only 5g of Cocaine, na suicide bomb planted on the child's head o be that. Mama go dey press browse shoot porn, pikin go dey press watch porn...You no go even sabi who press pass.
    Teacher go flog pikin for school, mama (Naija Sisi) go wear knicker go school fight teacher 😱😱 Aru -abomination.
    Ndi Naija girls okwa eziokwu -no be true?
    Okwa ajuju n'ese okwu ooo πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol! You really are a case!!

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    2. The minute I read your comment I remembered the story of the Pharisee and the Tax Collectot in Luke 18: 9- 14. Sadly you are the Pharisee who attributes all that you are to your own self righteousness and looks down on everyone else. I used to be a far milder version of you, but I have realized that God is the only Good that is in me, and I have since learnt to encourage people to God and not condemn them. I pray that God opens your eyes, God resists the proud... exalts the humble. God bless you .

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    3. U can’t win souls with this attitude, I do see u as a psycho nd very delusional ... with your ajuju rubbish u always type.. I won’t even listen to a self righteous judgemental person like u.. u are sick

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    4. Shut up! This isn't even the type of strictness we are looking @. If you happened to grow up in the 80' and 90's under strict parenting you will understand well. Ain't talking about this Ribena and infinite generation kind of strictness. Kapish

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    5. Anon 15:09 i second your opinion. I get angry when I see her comments. So annoying.Stella pls post.

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    6. Ndi Anonymous una well done oo 😘😘😘😘
      Shoot all your arrows while I yarn all the Truths as it is.
      The judgment is the Scriptures I quoted isn't it?
      If I judged, how many years did I sentence them?
      I thank God I was privileged to know the gospel and get saved.
      I was a sinner before he saved me. I never stated that my dad's discipline
      made me less a SINNER, did I? Okwa ajuju o
      I was a Sinner and Jesus saved a Sinner like me. He can save you too.
      😘😘😘😘😘

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    7. @Say No
      Your idea of strictness is to shut people up in a public space?
      Jisie ike and thanks for shutting me up inugo? 😘😘🀐🀐🀐

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    8. @15:31
      1 Cor. 1:18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. ... For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe.

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  4. I grew up with strict parents and my siblings and 1 are grateful to our parents for raising us right. Yes, at the beginning, it all seemed like punishment....restrictions on a lot of things, but it shaped us to be good people. We all are doing great by God’s grace.
    We never had to depend on anyone, even though sometimes , we had it rough, but we all stuck together and today, we are happy.
    For me especially, if not for the iron hand/strictness from my parents πŸ˜‚ , I would have towed the wrong path. I am grateful each day and I have my lovely parents to thank for it.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah me too!! I'm super close to my mum even with how strict she was.

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  5. I grew up with a very strict dad, in short,he was a disciplinarian. Thank God for a father like my father. As strict as my dad, he was not the type that would just lay his hands on us; the only and last time my dad ever hit me just once on my buttocks, I peed on myself. My dad apologized to me with sanitary pads and money.

    I will never trade all those disciplines and protection for anything in the world.

    Most of the people that were raised in the house were the parents were nonchalant about how their kids were living their lives ended up carrying unwanted pregnancy, went into robbery and some even ended up on the street.

    Being strict doesn't mean I was locked indoor and not allowed to have my own voice.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. You didn't have to judge/ shade. Drop your point and go

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    2. Association of baby mamas and baby daddys are coming for you, wait.

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    3. What is wrong with you this Anonymous venom 15:14?

      Where did I played judge Judy in my comment?
      Saying the truth is now being a judgina?
      You can remain in your waywardness, nobody is holding you.

      15:39, I don't care anymore. The truth is bitter.

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    4. Is it possible MS A, for you to construct a simple response without looking for who to castigate, mock or shade????

      Gosh! You must be a terrible person.

      Delete
  6. My parents were so strict especially my father even up till now. Then when he's coming,we will run inside and switch off the tv. Hrs always quiet to slap my face or abuse me anywhere and it made me have a low self esteem. I was like mumu outside. When people abuse me,I will just be looking and it made me marry very late because no single friend ever visited our house.
    Despite the strict upbringing and always taking us to church,I never became a bad person. I never had sex till I married. I always envy children especially female girls that can kiss and cuddle their dad. Up till now,I don't know my dad's age and he's very very learned. He even travelled out for his master's program then.
    I said I will become a baby mama instead of marrying a man way too over disciplined like my dad but I thank God he gave me a good husband and my children kiss him,cuddle him,play and dance with the children and I smile.
    I try to correct the mistakes of my parents by saying to my children I love you,play with them. We are so free with them and it makes them smart.
    Up til now,I can't say dad I love you,I can't gist with him .Hrs not even happy with me because I do t send him money and he doesn't count me to be part of his children again and I have avoided home because of him. My mum regretted marrying him but I thank God in heaven for blessing me with a good supportive man even though we are praying for God's blessings but I so much have my peace of mind. Indeed,Delay is not denial.
    Good things come to those who has waited for long and I know at the end,my able and all powerful God will bless me with a good job to crown it all.
    Thanks for reading but I want you all to know that marriage can make or Mar you.
    If you are still waiting on God for marriage, take your time and put everything at Jesus' feet and be rest assured that he Wil give you the best!
    Sorry for any typos. I do t have time to proofread.

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    Replies
    1. May God continue to bless your home and grant your heart desires.

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  7. Had strict parents, but am really happy they did that. I love them and can't stay far from them.

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  8. My parents were really strict. Especially my mom.
    Looking back, now that I’m an adult, I think that upbringing had its flaws. I’m principled and well behaved but I’m not assertive.
    I will not be so strict with my children.

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  9. I grew up in a strict home and it was terrible, no friends were allowed both male and female alike, either they are witches or prostitutes or they want to spoil you. Flogging, biting, blowing, starving, nagging pepper in the vagina was forms of discipline from my mom. Sometimes we were made to sleep outside for days as a disciplinary measures from our mom the disciplinarian. I could go on and on on top of that we were working as children. You refuse to go to shop with your mother because you want to go to school is equal to your school uniform being torn into shreds and no food for you. I did not grow up in the village, we grew up in the center of FCT inside upstairs, in case you think it happened in a village. My dear as it is now, some of my siblings can't stand my mother, although we still try to be nice to her she is getting old and 0% change. My dear it's abuse and not strictness. Make I no forget if you dear your classmate boy comes to collect book from you, you are called an ashawo, fuckernizer, totorizer and what's the rest mind you to add to it curses upon curses, those that involved pouring of water, hitting buttocks on the floor and knocking of knuckles lol. It is well.

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    1. Ns wa o. Some parents are just abusive in the name of being strict. One thing I learnt from my mum is never to use starvation as a form of discipline for children.

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  10. My parents were very strict,especially my Dad..then I used to think he disliked us but later in life I knew he loves us and just wanted a well behaved children.. And being a military man is even worse,koboko,cane,belt was all part of his instruments..They trained us equally,men and women,from cooking,farming,sewing..no men job nor women job at home! It's was a division of labor for us all,we take turns to cook then,boys inclusive.. It was fun
    Inspite of everything, I never grow up with any negative mindset towards them,I'm thankful everyday for them shaping us who we are today
    I Love my parents and can't trade them for anything or anyone

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  11. My parents were not strict. I'm the last born so they were pretty laid back with me more than my elders. I had all types of freedom yet i didn't wild out as much. Lol

    My Momma tho.. she was/is overprotective but not strict. You know, like she wants to know everything which is a good thing cos she fixed all of my fuckups!

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  12. My papa strict die. Mumsy was just there. My sister practically controls the home. So annoying. My dad is late tho. I miss him so much. Hey sis, k know you read this blog a lot. You are just very foolish for trying be the head over mum. I hope you will be happy when you finally ruin this familh with your Nazi artituede

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    1. You are the foolish one here tiny brat. Yea I control the house..you don't like it, you pack out okay.

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    2. You can talk to her instead of blasting her here, you know.

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    3. Huh 😱 big sis, forgive her.
      Baby sis, you can speak to her in private, not here....that’s wrong you know.

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    4. Oh! You guys can sort this out in your home.
      Anonymous 14:46, you can speak to your aunty instead of insulting her here. Knowing fully well that she reads this blog.

      Hey big sis, you can be less controlling. Your sister in-law, (your brother's widow) I believe she's old enough to head her home. Please, give her a breathing space and forgive your little neice.

      God bless my dad's family. There was nothing like his family members coming to claim anything in his house. His widow, my mother is the head of the family (even though I'm not impressed with the way she runs things)

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    5. They are sisters not sisters-in-law. Can people please read before commenting?!

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    6. Family na scam. Causing emotional stress pushing one to depression. She is always right o. You can't talk to her. Its hell been around her.the hate i have for her just keeps growing. She almost killed my self esteem. I now find joy only when I'm at work. Sometimes i have to chill somewhere before i head home. I can deal abeg

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    7. I think if the sister was someone she felt she could talk to she wouldn't have ranted here. You guys may not really understand the dynamics playing out in their case.

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    8. 20.19 this is a dangerous situation to be in, it will continue to fester and one day may explode. Please try to let go, or put some distance between you both for now. Please.

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  13. My parents are very strict. I have marks all over my body from beatings but I can’t trade them for anything in the world, they are still my best friends

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  14. I forgot to add part of the effect is that we are grown now but most of us are loners, we rarely visit people because we have poor social skills. Although we are trying to better ourselves, then the symptoms of anger and explosion.

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    1. Therapy is required to deal with the resentment and other bottled issues


      You all can start from forgiveness


      Painful, hard but worth it

      Forgive ALL who hurt you, let it all go. The Relief is just wonderful
      Forgive yourselves, become lighter and free

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    2. Please Please go to a trained therapist to trash out this issues and if your are a christian there is no wound that God cannot heal just begin to pray

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  15. Stella thank you for bringing this up. I thought you dumped that comment in a waste bin. Didn't know you saved it in ur folder. Chop kiss
    Strict parenting has damaged me and my siblings especially if you were born in the 80's and growing up then...i am leaving out my other siblings that were born in the late 90' and early 2000's. I am not including those ones cos they never smelled half of what we the older kids smelled.
    Stella could you believe as a young girl growing up then my parents never wanted anything trouser on me...even to wear and stay at home sef was war, as a first daughter. It still baffles me,seriously. I was and still am that kid that doesn't really look good and smart wearing skirts..but my parents never allowed that. Only for me to travel home sometimes last year to see our last born wearing her jeans and whatever without my parents raising an eyebrow..kilon shelle?
    Growing up too..Our parents didn't like the idea of us bringing friends home..this has resulted to my snobbish and quite unfriendly attitude which affects me now. Now i dont even have close female or even male friends who come to visit.My parents are the ones complaining now...stella can you see the damage? It's even boiling down to bringing home suitors..they are becoming worried now especially when they keep attending friends children weddings and theirs at home are still single. Is it my fault?
    Being strict makes your children run far away from you in the near future sometimes they cut off communication. The advantage is far less than the disadvantage. Apart from instilling discipline and moral uprightness in the child the damage is beyond repairs. Na that time they start jumping from one church to another trying to find solution and break ancestral strings tying their children. Meanwhile, there's none...the problem is in the physical.
    I have so much to write but I will stop and read other comments.

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    1. They didn't know better
      Forgive them


      Work on yourselves

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    2. People had similar upbringing and adjusted themselves. You can't keep blaming the past.

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    3. I think people should note that it is not so easy for everyone to adjust themselves. People are different. Many don't have access to and can't afford therapy and they need professional help. I think the least we can do is to hear them out without being too judgemental and telling them what we think they ought to do. We can encourage them to do better, not make them feel bad because of how bad they already feel.

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    4. @say no to strict parenting. I wasn't allowed to wear trousers too at some point.but that dint change my life.no parent wants their kids to turn out bad maybe they felt that was d only way to curb excesses. The bible says spare the rod and spoil the child.I was raised by very strict parents and am happy for it.I sm a strict mum.being strict doesn't mean continued beating.I let my kids know wats wrong without being too sweet about it.our parents expect so much from us.imagining us going otherwise just destorts them.pls forgive wat u think was wrong with their parenting and move on.u should love them and work on yourself.u will have kids one day oh! May God help us all.

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  16. Grew up with separate parents, dad never laid his hands on me. When I went to stay with mum, thats when I got the beating of my life... Thank God for giving me a Guardian angel that always appeared in my dreams, he taught me all I needed to know while growing up.

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    1. Could you please explain more about the guardian angel?

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  17. Dad wasnt strict, he never believed in beating kids, so he was overprotective and he spoilt us the last one's silly . But mom on the other hand is a tough no nonsense woman. I remembered the day my sisters beat me up because daddy had travelled, and I was untouchable then anyway. I had insulted both of them very very well, so they said today na today, beat me very very well, I cried ooo and the next thing I carried was an axe, they quickly locked the door because they knew what I was capable of doing anyway, me that my temper was fiery like Sango's own, lmao. I hit the axe on the door, didn't penetrate because it had iron embedded in it. I later gave up after 3 attempts. Hmmmn mumc got back and they told her what I did, omo she pounced and sat on me, beat the living daylight out of me, I was seriously crying like a goatπŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†, she said she'll kill me so that that spirit in me would go away. Hahaha, I wont forget that day. In fact my sisters still tease me sef, asking me that would I have chopped their heads off had it been they hadn't locked the door.

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  18. Some of you will come here and lie. My this and that were lovely yen yen. But the the emotional and verbal abuse of your parents effects reflects in your comments here. True or false?

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  19. The advantage of being a strict parents to your wards is just less than 5% but the disadvantage is 95%. Pls if u doubt, carry out your research properly.

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  20. My Mother was the Strict Parent. She was Very educated per say. My Father Married her very early and he was working with the " Whites" he is the Britico speaking only Polish English with Us, My mother on the other hand was the little village girl.
    Growing up was Funny,with English speaking Father that was home in the Evenings and a Native ,Vernacular speaking Mother that was a " House wife"
    I and My Sibling speak good English
    I am Married for 16years and I can count on my Fingers the number of time I 've beaten my 4 Girls,We cuddle,discuss and Negotiate Punishments, My daughters are well grounded.

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  21. Strict parents and abusive parents are 2 different categories my parents were super strict with love they know when to draw the line. Some parents are abusive I wouldn't call that being strict.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for this comment πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½

      Delete
  22. My dad was the disciplinarian when we were growing up. Even at that we were never scared of him as kids. We were free to express our views around him. He used to play,joke and gist with myself and my brothers but he never tolerated bad behavior especially lies and rudeness. After flogging you, he will sit you down and explain why he flogged you. My mum never believed in flogging but scolding and talking to us and so they created the perfect balance. I am grateful for the parents I have because we did not go astray as teens and young adults because of them. I will raise my kids the same way, I dont believe in this oyibo style of not spanking kids abeg. I will talk and flog.

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  23. My experience at the hands of my father still haunts me till today.
    Maybe he never even loved his children. Right from the moment I knew d diff btw right & wrong; I knew what it was like having a father no child should have. As children, we were not allowed to play outside. We were not supposed to talk with anyone. And if he catches you; the beating you will get (he was n still a headmaster). As teenagers, it grew worse. We must not be caught watchg d black & white tv. We must not touch d landline telephone. He must not catch us either in d balcony or backyard. We must not relate with anyone. We all attended his school. For sec educatn, he drove me to and fro for 5years. Just to avoid communication or interactn with others. In my Year One at Unilag, he ensured we came from home. One fateful he caught me wth our neighbours jisting in the backyard; he not only stripped me completely naked, he cut my hair and that was the last straw. Wanted to run away in the middle of d night; but my mum held me back and said "manage and bear it and get ur education". So, I swallowed everi everi; finished at Unilag and moved out. Till date; I still believe I have no father. (The story is longer than this but I have to cut it. Someone out there may just know me; cos I mentioned Headmaster or Chief as my Father; moreso he was popular back then in the area I grew up. This is my first time opening up and am kinda relieved).

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    Replies
    1. Sigh. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—

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    2. Speaking about it has given you relief

      Ndo

      Forgive him
      He didn't know better

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    3. Hugs and ❤❤ to you. You will be fine. I can relate to what you just said.

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    4. My dear,being a headmaster made him feel his children had to be the best.do he wanted to get the best out of u.forgive and move on.maybe the area were u stayed had bad children days y he was angry with u gistting with the neighbours.am sure u are a better person so pls don't dwel on this and look for someone to talk too.it helps

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  24. My parents were not strict to "Me", i was that quiet, reserve, very humble child that mind my business always. But mum was the strict one, and the only issues i had with her, was her long advises and long scriptures which I'm so grateful for. It really shaped us to be better today

    And i have never been beaten by my parent before, even small thing like slap. That's why i run away from any harm that towards my body, as i have never experienced beatings from parent or siblings before

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  25. Your child is a reflection of what you were & currently are. In fact, a correct mixture of both parents lineage equals to the child.
    Strictness and being abusive go hand in hand too especially when you don't know when to draw the line of being too strict.
    Imagine growing under the roof of parents who constantly insults you when you perform badly in school...

    Will be back to continue. make I go check my stew wey dey fire first.

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  26. What I know is that I will never marry anyone like my father. He embarrassed me in front of my friends and extended family while growing up ...my mum included. They ostracised me in front of my younger ones and I do not have their respect esp the youngest but it's ok. If I had listened to him I don't think I would where I am today. Now that they are older, will do what I can but I will never be close to them and I will make sure my hubby will never act or be like him. Tried to be nice last year cos he is dependent but I wasn't having it. whatever love I may have had died a long time ago. Thank God they have other children cos they know left to me, they will starve and it's not cos I hate them. I don't want to talk but what they did I experienced as a child and as an adult but it's ok...I have forgiven but will never be close to them.

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    Replies
    1. Therapy to unearth the emotions and give them a proper laying to rest so you can heal and move o

      Sorry

      Delete
    2. @jet li...I didn't say I was traumatised please. You don't know me or the whole story so don't assume that I need "therapy". Save that advise for someone you know and who needs it.

      Thanks anyways

      Delete
    3. Your story is my story. I understand you completely. I am glad you have become stronger because of it. Me, I’m still struggling.

      Delete
  27. A lot of them raised up to the best of their abilities and within the jurisdiction of what they thought was right. Sit with your parents and try to find out how they were raised, now compare with yours.
    My mum used to buy new pankere for me everyday and must flog me whether I offended or not, so I kuku started doing what I liked so the flogging will be justified πŸ™„πŸ™„.
    Asides the flogging and the shouting plus your child will do same to you, my parents were fair TBH. I got comprehensive sex education from home and thst has been guiding me.
    Quick one, if you're holding on to hurt because of how you were raised, you're depriving yourself of joy. It's left for you to unlearn some of those things so you don't make same mistake with your kids, else, you'll find out that the same pattern will rear its head.

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  28. Most of our parents raised us the best way they knew.
    Nobody had manual on how to do it back in the day. A lot of things were unacceptable years ago. Now, they are. Years ago, you go play football, you get beaten up when you got home. Now, parents take their kids to go to football practice.
    Secondly, our parents were highly manipulated by our grandparents. Especially whenever they came to the city.

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  29. I grew up with an extremely strict dad.. as a kid cumteenager,he would beat me with anything he comes across...he beats me and my siblings as if we are mates and fighting...
    He was always quick to show people that he was a strict man, by beating us mercilessly.
    One night, when I was 9years old, my friend's mother reported I and my siblings to him saying we stole money from her shop....we didn't.
    He refused to hear our own side of the story...he made us lie on the floor, and he pieced our bodies like common criminals...we had deep wounds on all parts of our body, including our faces....
    The next morning, we went to school, Our headmistress was shocked, and couldn't believe a man would do this to his own kids, she had to take us to ask him why...in the end the money was found by the woman...guess what... he didn't even say sorry.
    One time as a teenager, growing boobs, I broke the globe of our lamp....Some men where having a meeting in our compound then...this man beat me, tore my cloth, I ran outside the gate in to a shop. The shop owner saw my naked body covered in blood, she ran out to see who wanted to kill me..she was dumbfounded when she saw it was my dad...the only thing that left her mouth was "this man, you are very wicked"...
    I am grown now...but still traumatized by all these...I still dream of him.beating me, and I wake up crying...


    Till.today, we can't be in same room....I can't say I hate him, but I do not like him either...

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    Replies
    1. God will heal you completely, emotionally and all. You will be fine. Pele dear.

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    2. so sorry for all dat,very wicked.pls talk to him
      Tell him what he did is bad or send him a message

      Delete
  30. I grew up with an extremely strict dad.. as a kid cumteenager,he would beat me with anything he comes across...he beats me and my siblings as if we are mates and fighting...
    He was always quick to show people that he was a strict man, by beating us mercilessly.
    One night, when I was 9years old, my friend's mother reported I and my siblings to him saying we stole money from her shop....we didn't.
    He refused to hear our own side of the story...he made us lie on the floor, and he pieced our bodies like common criminals...we had deep wounds on all parts of our body, including our faces....
    The next morning, we went to school, Our headmistress was shocked, and couldn't believe a man would do this to his own kids, she had to take us to ask him why...in the end the money was found by the woman...guess what... he didn't even say sorry.
    One time as a teenager, growing boobs, I broke the globe of our lamp....Some men where having a meeting in our compound then...this man beat me, tore my cloth, I ran outside the gate in to a shop. The shop owner saw my naked body covered in blood, she ran out to see who wanted to kill me..she was dumbfounded when she saw it was my dad...the only thing that left her mouth was "this man, you are very wicked"...
    I am grown now...but still traumatized by all these...I still dream of him.beating me, and I wake up crying...


    Till.today, we can't be in same room....I can't say I hate him, but I do not like him either...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please forgive him for lightness for yourself

      Get therapy
      So sorry

      Delete
    2. What!!! he belongs in Jail ...PLease go for long therapy sessions with a trained counsellor to unburden your soul and seek peace from God in prayer

      Delete
    3. Oh dear, so sorry. πŸ€— I hope and pray you heal from the trauma and pain.

      Delete
  31. Since my parents are late, let me read and digest. I envy you guys sha

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thank u omidan stella nd SDKPA for d data giveaways ,more blessings πŸ’‹πŸ’‹πŸ˜πŸ’ƒ

    ReplyDelete
  33. I’m so glad that many are pointing out the difference between being strict and abusive. I started wetting the bed when I moved from my mom’s house to my dad and stepmom’s house. Dad and stepmom would lock me up in the utility room...where the water heater was. They would make me put the sheet where I peed on in my mouth and I would have to sit in the dark the whole day. They started making me sleep there...they would throw in newspapers to use for blankets. My dad would beat me black and blue for wetting the bed. I was seven years old. The younger siblings would disrespect me up and down. The abuse continued for a long time. When he died, I didn’t even react. The family always denied it and said I was crazy. They said I was just looking for attention. I made up my mind to move as far away from me. I’m so much happier. They always made me feel like I was a bad person. I’ve made new friends, met new people and I’m happy being free of their abuse.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is really awful. So sorry for all you passes through. Thank God you are free now.

      Delete
  34. Thanks Stella for this post,I need help fast, I will look for a way to unburden, because am acting like my mum and it breaks my heart, always shouting and hitting my kids,oh God help me, please deliver me,I want to be a better mother,I am just too angry and sad,help Lord,I will make good effort to be a better mum so help me Lord! Amen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go for counselling immediately to uncover what actually happened in your childhood

      Delete
  35. Enter your comment...l will call my mother strict parent.she was very abusive to me especially. if it were now she would've been arrested. it left emotionally,psychological effect on me till date.And I'm in my 40's.lt affected our mother and daughter relationship. l only do the needful for her.And I have forgiven her.maybe she didn't know better.

    ReplyDelete

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