Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Adventures Of Oko Asawo The Uber Driver - 2

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Saturday, February 29, 2020

Adventures Of Oko Asawo The Uber Driver - 2

I understood in no time the reason why taxi drivers are called Oko Ashawo ......







It is because at nights, we have more of female riders. I'll share some of these experiences with you.


I had worked through the night on Friday, moving from club to club, then to hotels and residences picking up and dropping off various clients or passengers as you wish to call them. Around 2am, I had just dropped off 3 girls at a club and a girl approached me and asked if I'm an Uber driver. She said she was with her friends (4 of them in all) and needed me to take them offline to another club not too far from that location. I told her that I'll charge them 1,500 naira and the lady said no problem darling. She then sat in front while her 3 other friends sat at the back of the car. In my mind, I was like, "which one is darling again? Abi, these girls wan scam me ni?"


I always trust my instincts and kept observing. The next thing was that this girl placed her hands on my shoulders and said ... "you're a cute guy". She winked and smiled at me. While removing her hands from my shoulders, she stylishly brushed my chest and pinched my nipple. I instantly knew her game. She didn't want to pay but was teasing me so that I could drop her and her friends free of charge. 


Immediately, I hardened my face and told her I hope she still knows her money is 1,500. (Actually, where I was taking her and her friends to was just about 5 minutes drive away). I can't be slaving all night and some oloshos would want me to offer free service. Lailai... that will never happen.


Anyway, when we got to their destination, I asked for my money and she brought out her iPhone and feigned that her phone is dead, that she didn't know her battery was low but she'll transfer 2k instead to my account, that she doesn't have any cash on her. She then gave me her phone number and said I shouldn't worry but trust her and call her by 8am. I immediately suspected that could be a fake number but she repeated exactly the same set of numbers for me thrice. Hmmm.... What could I do? Trust her, believe her and let her go?


She said, ''sweety smile nah.... I'll make it up to you darling. Trust me. Just call me by 8am dear.''  She blew me a kiss and came down from the car with her friends while they giggled.


I couldn't start fighting them. Inside me, I knew that was bad market. I counted my losses with my teeth and drove off to another location to position for another request. I didn't know when I slept off. It was my 5am alarm that woke me up. I then decided to go home and rest a bit but then I still felt like making a little more money before going home so I left the app running.




While driving home, I stopped at the fuel station to get some petrol. Lo and behold, as I parked the car, I saw a purse on the floor on the passenger side in front. I knew immediately that it must belong to the girl I dropped off at the club. I looked inside and saw lip gloss, a pack of condom, cigarette lighter, a pack of Benson & Hedges and tissue paper. I hissed and dropped the purse in the glove compartment.
After buying the fuel, a request came in immediately from a nearby hotel. I called the number and the guy who picked up asked how quickly I could get to the hotel he was in. I told him to give me 5 minutes.


I got there as fast as I could and he was already waiting downstairs with a lady, holding each other and doing small romance. In my mind, I was like ... the gbensh wey una do through the night no reach? I decided to mind my business. After all, I'm here to make money.


As soon as the lady got into the car, she sat in front, smiled and became all chatty. Well, she was really friendly and looked very beautiful. She wore a skimpy revealing top and I stole glances at her well-rounded breasts. (Me and breasts sha๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฟ‍♂).


I started the trip at exactly 6am and as we moved on, I noticed that she had removed her top, remaining only the bra. Haaaa .... mogbe. This girl will not put me inside trouble. She then brought another top and wore. I kept stealing glances and she kept gisting with me all the while. She later brought out another trouser from her bag and wore it on her bum shorts expertly.


In my mind, I was wondering why she was changing in the car and not in the hotel. Oh well, what do I know? I'm here to render service and collect money.


The next thing she did shocked me. She brought out a small purse from her bag and in it were 4 sim cards. She removed the sim card in her phone and replaced it with another one. She then proceeded to make a call to a guy, begging him not to be angry, that there was no light to charge her phone. She kept saying, ''baby don't be angry nah. I promise I'll make it up to you. I love you ... bla bla bla. ''
I just said to myself.... Na wah o.


Oh well, I dropped her off by 6:30am and immediately put off my app so that I could go home and rest.


I got home a few minutes past 7am and then I remembered the purse that I found in the car, which belongs to one of the four girls I dropped at the club that promised to transfer 2k to me when I call her by 8am.


Somehow, I decided not to sleep immediately but wait till 8am when I'll call her. It was bright already and I decided to go through the contents of the purse again. I saw an inner compartment with a zip with a little bulge. Instantly, I became curious. I opened it up and I counted 8k in mint notes. I was shocked.


So, this girl even had money in her purse and she didn't want to pay me? I waited till 8am. I called the number she gave to me. Lo and behold, the number does not exist. I thought it was a network problem. I kept trying it for about 10 times and it kept repeating the number does not exist. I just smiled to myself. I looked at the 8k in my hands. I smiled again and went to bed.
Oh what a beautiful way to end the night's work




Hahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhaha cunny man die,cunny man bury am!!!
This column will be up twice weekly for as long as it lasts...

46 comments:

  1. Can it be everyday pls Stells๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜?
    I love this column.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahaha

      Delete
    2. He writes well...I like!

      Delete
    3. Stellz, twice a week is cool so he doesn't run out of gist biko. He knows how to get and hold the attention of his readers. He sure write very well. Kudos oko ashawo. Please be safe and focused on the job ok. E no easy

      Delete
  2. Haahaaaaa ..... This is so funny. I love this column and surely look forward to the next one. The writer is really funny

    ReplyDelete
  3. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    The player got played ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ

    ReplyDelete
  4. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Player got played big time ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
      Lmao !!!!

      Delete
  5. This ladies and gentlemen, is justice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No. The author was correct Auntie 'correcter'. With the ',' comes is. Thank you.

      Delete
    2. Funny when a correct sentence is being corrected. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒYou people can like to correct.

      If you like correct my second sentence ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Awon oloyinbo opere!

      Delete
  6. Oni Taxi.... Oko Ashewo . Thanks and keep bringing it on.
    The 1st three paragraphs sounded like DON, but the best part come be like wetin Kelvin fit write. ๐Ÿ˜†
    Thank you Stella.๐Ÿ‘

    By the way, where is CHIKE Teflon๐Ÿคท
    Where is Kelvin Stelz cousin ๐Ÿคท

    ReplyDelete
  7. I loooooove it!!! Plz keep them coming stella๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow! Interesting
    Pls keep it comming...

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm sure she must be counting her bad market that night ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  10. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚. This column is worth it. A good writer he is. Reminds me of mama Tee column

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Honestly a very good writer
      I enjoyed reading.
      Thanks writer. thanks Stellw for the creativity .

      Delete
  11. It funny but not funny because we have alot of ladies doind this. I wish all wickness will be paid back this wag. Ndi anu ofia. Oga, go and enjoy your money biko. Fa bia ru Lagos������������������������������������.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Even the ladies that flirt with nail technicians and hair stylists so they wouldn't pay ๐Ÿคง๐Ÿคง๐Ÿคง

      Delete
  12. I love this column Stella. I won't mind it everyday. Guess we all have a story to tell.

    ReplyDelete
  13. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

    ReplyDelete
  14. Y'all remember that song?? One day Bush meat go catch the hunter?? Funny... More episodes SDK๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช

    ReplyDelete
  15. See me rolling and laughing ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
    Chai.... I look forward to the next one. Stella, please bring this on more often ๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฟ

    ReplyDelete
  16. Good you got your money but you should be firm in collecting your pay.

    Most of them that do give number don't pay.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Reminds me of Kane's world hints magazine adventure of life

    ReplyDelete
  18. ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ˜…

    ReplyDelete
  19. Interesting. Serves her right.

    ReplyDelete
  20. This is really entertaining Stella . Danke

    ReplyDelete
  21. Naija girls n' eyi egwu -they commit wondrous atrocities ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

    ReplyDelete
  22. Oh dear... It's so hilarious. She got served. ๐Ÿ™‰

    ReplyDelete
  23. Phahahahahahahahahha.

    This is overcompensation in full force in new crisp notes.

    I'm sure you had a lively time in Lalaland.

    What goes around, comes around even BETTER!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I just wonder wayint the girl go do after she noticed what happened.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This one na stress relief series. Keep it coming. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

    ReplyDelete
  26. Nice piece.
    It's eye opening about night crawlers.
    You're a hard working man Oko'Ashawo.
    Your descriptive skills will cause envy in the heart of wole soyinka.
    Please keep it coming.

    ReplyDelete

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