What you think about this?
This advice is somehow and I disagree with it because most women learn how to cook well in their Matrimonial homes....
Does the Bible support this kind of advice?
Tuesday, February 18, 2020
Pastor Adeboye Advices ''Sons'' Not To Marry A Lady That Cannot Cook...
Pastor Adeboye Says Men should not marry a woman who cannot cook.......
What you think about this?
This advice is somehow and I disagree with it because most women learn how to cook well in their Matrimonial homes....
Does the Bible support this kind of advice?
What you think about this?
This advice is somehow and I disagree with it because most women learn how to cook well in their Matrimonial homes....
Does the Bible support this kind of advice?
124 comments:
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Ahd his congregation will say 'preach on papa '.
ReplyDeleteOkay I don’t understand the she needs to know how to do chores part..... is she a slave?
DeleteWhat he should have said was you and your wife need to love and support each other because she is not a slave
I agree with him. As a woman, you should know how to cook and do chores.
ReplyDeleteThese days, some women think they are too “woke” to do the cooking and house chores. They employ underaged children and use them like slaves.
Where is it written that women should always cook in the family. This is pure African mentality. they should be correcting the wrongs in the system not causing confusion.
DeleteAnd men? what should they be doing?
DeleteAnd the men cannot learn how to cook? Please!
Delete“As a woman”... really?
DeleteStans... is this your heroine?
You brain still wire thought patterns beginning with “as a woman “?
Las las you lack depth..
I hope you will also agree for men to be the sole provider in their homes. Too much Ado for nothing.
DeleteIs there a like button? You don’t have to be perfect at it but it’s basic life skill male or female. It’s not everything argument. You can hate it but do you know how to?
DeleteI agree with you slutty...@chy babe, you said "this is pure african mentality", but we are africans na.
DeleteChy babe, I am an African so having “ an African mentality” is normal...right?
DeleteAnons, there is nothing wrong in men assisting. Besides this post is about “women” knowing how to cook and do chores.
Is there anywhere ☝🏿 the pastor talked about it being an abomination in men helping their wives 🤷🏿♀️
I mean, how many of your fathers even cook?
Y’all claim to be “woke”....backwards.
Zig or zag, whatever your name is, you are an idiot. Next time you want to make your point, do it without insults. Low life.
Chores are not specific to gender. Both boys and guys should learn to do all... This is where noble's 'wife not cook' comes into play, there is more to being a wife that just cooking
DeleteThey are quick to shout "African mentality" because they are foolish and check,most of them haven't left the shores of Nigeria. I agree with you slutty. The only problem is that I cannot cook but I'm learning.
DeleteAnd oh! I love you slutty😍😍😍 #YourAnonymousFriend.
Dear slutty, even the virtuous woman in the Bible had staff. She had people she woke up to give duties in her home.
DeleteI agree with knowing how to cook and do chores, cus how would one survive when theres no help? But i also insist on everyone knowing how to do chores and not just the woman.
Slutty my father cooks and still does,he will be 70 in April;if he is hungry,he enters the kitchen especially these days that he is mostly alone.
DeleteEveryday I pray for a man like him...this man gives us PEACE!
Now that 99 and half women provide for their family you still want to limit a woman to the kitchen, I repeat it is pure African mentality whether I have travelled out or not, it is not so in other climes. It is pure women slavery .Men should also know how to cook.
DeleteAnd the men should learn how to do what?????????
Delete@ Slutty,
You are disappointing me with your backward comment this days.
FYI, The best cooks are men, check top restaurants and see their chefs
Sluttychic, you called that Anon a lowlife. Please, what's the lesson you are trying to teach? No difference!
DeleteYou people treat men like babies. So how were they surviving when they were single? Most mothers these days are teaching their sons how to cook, so that they can be independent. And it's not a matter of "wokeness." It's a matter of convenience and self care. Most women in 2020 are working 9-10 hours a day, 40 hours a week. Why should we both go to work for 9 hours, sit in traffic for a long commute, both come home dog tired and then only I should shoulder the responsibility of domestic chores? When most women today are also breadwinners or assist in paying the bills? For fair division of labor, it's best to have domestic staff. If you expect your wife to do all the chores without a maid, then pay her monthly so that she can sit at home and be a housewife. Lobatan! LOL even the housewives these days have maids.
DeleteWhat do you all expect from someone that failed law school. Of course the person lacks brain
DeleteMy anon friend, how have you been?
DeleteGet an ID so I don’t start looking everywhere for a special anon. Love you right back ♥️♥️.
All this talk over a simple advice?
No one says it’s wrong for a man to know how to cook or assist with chores. just know how to cook as a woman.
How many of you can actually marry a man who has no means of livelihood?
Nkay, amen to your prayer. I like men who can cook.
Chy babe, where did you get 99 and half from? Are you speaking for just the women in your village?
Lillysimple, 😜
My father still cook and he is 80 years old.
DeleteI can still remember when he use to wash our uniforms after school, because he was the the first to get home from work before my mum. And my mum has already cooked our lunch(leave it in the warmer). But, my dad will still cook round 2 lunch for us ...lol
Slutty chic carry it on your head like gala you hear, You can count the women that don't fend for their families, maybe you are a housewife that's why you have such a myopic thought on the issue.
DeleteIs it by answering funky names, this slutty chic is still very backward, all these housewives that all they know is to cook and fuck their husbands, while their husbands comb all the sleek restaurants with small girls.
Delete11:11, you are not only foolish,you sound dull and one that is broken.is law school failure now a crime.i am ashamed of you.
DeleteAm I not entitled to my opinion anymore?
DeleteAnon 11:11, God punish you all the days of your miserable life. Do you know me?
If you don’t like my opinion, walk away. You don’t even know the right punctuation marks to put where necessary and you come at me with that nonsense? You are a failure for life and it’s never going to change, you bloody fool.
Next time you come under my comment with your real ID or under anonymous, thunder will fire you.
Stella, post my comment to anon 11:11.
DeleteSluttychic.
All these chics saying mentality this mentality that, marry and don't cook for your husband... We are waiting for your chronicles.
Deletee pain you slutty..choii
Deletecookers association..
DeleteAs a woman? Ridiculous. Why don't men go to farm and hunt for food while the woman does chores and cooks? If you haven't realised that times have changed and women now work outside the homes too while men also need to do chores or hire helps then you are not serious. That's the mentality you lot will use in choosing men and then start whining when it sets.
DeleteChy babe is an African talking about African mentality. Ok. Sis. Go follow monkey metality then. No be fight. Las last u go marry yourself.
DeleteHe should also advise women not to marry men with small dicks.
ReplyDelete👌👏👍
DeleteAnD men who can't be the sole provider. If he is looking to split financial responsibility, he should be castrated by the church. Every damn month, something from the 1400s escapes this man's Mouth and the minions worshipping him would say amen. Is it not those his fat sons that daughters of God should reduce themselves for? If you marry into any of these businesses centers, just make sure the man is bringing in like 15 million a month so the management can be worth it.
I am a woman and I agree with him, a grown woman who cannot cook WELL or do house chores is IRRESPONSIBLE. Proverbs 31.
DeleteAnon 11:37 stop misinterpreting Proverbs 31 to suit your limited view.
DeleteIn as much as this shouldn't be the woman's primary assignment there's nothing wrong in what he said.
ReplyDeleteHow many men really wants a woman who can't cook simple dishes.
If as a woman you can't cook you better start learning if not for the gusbahu but for your kids sake
That was one of the mistakes I made in my marriage, I will cook all types of food like mama put, The so called husband will be in the Genesis restaurant with one yellow sisi laughing their heads off.
DeleteEnter your comment...but why will a woman not know how to cook naa
ReplyDeletePastor daddy GO knows he's highly regarded and has huge followership from his ministry and others both in Nigeria and outside that listens to him and takes what he says to heart.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, topics like this is way too controversial to be involved in as a recognised and respected person... Nigeria aside, some other countries don't place much importance on what gender does what or what not in marriages. This can create unnecessary drama and confusion.
I'm not for or against. Whatever works in your home and gives the home peace is all that matters. Both sexes should goan learn how to cook. NOT JUST WOMEN!!!
It is not creating any drama. We are gradually losing our values that stands out for us as Africans. We want to copy everything from oyinbo people that do not value family system or marriage. No wonder kids of nowadays do not last in marriage. How long will the love last when the woman can not manage the home front aka cook for the family? Pls leave the Pastor alone he is 100% right afterall he is refering to his sons.
Delete@ Anno 09*46,
DeleteSo for your mind it takes only a woman to make a marriage work, u see why we have so many entitled men roaming around
Africans has since lost their values long before imo river, They still depend on oyibo for everything why won't they copy their good values. This una Daddy is always causing confusion for his gullible followers, don't worry they will soon come for him. The main cause of marriage break down these days is because men are not living up to exceptions. Most men today are damn too lazy , he should address that first.If you like cook more than Genesis and the man is not providing for the family, the marriage will still break
DeleteWould you rather go back to the cave?
DeleteOyibo mentality when only men went to war back then was women cook, clean, birth and raise child - generally keep the home.
They moved away from that mentality when the times changed.
Today, women go to war, work 9-5, run businesses outside the home, earn for the family upkeep . Why should Africans be stuck in the rut?! No wonder we rarely invent anything.
You want to hang on to African mentality where it suits you yet you use washing machine, juice-maker, electric/gas cooker etc.
Men and women should cook and do chores. What do men do with all that their physical strength?
Both husband and wife must know how to cook abeg.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you richly. Living with a man with two left hands, the tongue of a restaurant critic and the appetite of a sumo wrestler aka "I am an African" erases love fast no matter how wealthy he is. Just think back to doing chores as a teenager- your parents were providing but you were fully tired of them. And to those always tapping the blessings of relocation, you think you can combine that job with cooking African delicacy and caring for children full on your own while the man reads newspaper and watches TV abroad? We await the chronicles of him sleeping with the neighbors and ushers in church. Maybe then you'll better appreciate your former Naija house girl.
DeleteNEVER HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH A MAN WHO CAN'T COOK OR WHO IS DOMESTICALLY LAZY IN THE NAME OF "AFRICAN". His African grandfathers used to take their children to the farms away from the woman and feed and care for them for weeks. They would cook meats to preserve it and farm virtually all their families ate. Look for true partnership if not, the pastor you'll go to when you start running mental will tell you only women should cook and when the screws finally fall off, he Will tell your husband it is not good for a man to be alone so another long-suffering mugu can take your place.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 anon 11.09 your opening lines are funny
DeleteBiko, so is this my main purpose as a wife or woman, to do chores, cook and give birth, chai, if so worst time to be a woman...but wait o, perhaps this thinking is only rife in Africa, perhaps I can salvage myself if so...
ReplyDelete08:51 If that is your main purpose so be it! if you were not stupid you know that a strong woman combines all and they see it as nothing. Matter of fact,most women see cooking and chores as a hubby they love doing which woman likes a dirty house?. Most of you talking like this are actually the broke ones!
Delete08:51 If that is your main purpose so be it! if you were not stupid you know that a strong woman combines all and they see it as nothing. Matter of fact,most women see cooking and chores as a hubby they love doing which woman likes a dirty house?. Most of you talking like this are actually the broke ones!
Delete@ Ann09*51
DeleteStop littering the post because is your Daddy GO that tweeted it, let people have their mind,
In my house, my mum made sure my brothers cook, infact my brothers meals taste better.
Both gender should know how to cook.
GBAM
All these nasty talks makes men to be lazy , woman this and that, the man has no role?
Delete@9:51, if your main purpose in life is to cook, do chores, and bare kids then go ahead with that without making it applicable to all women. Life is not black and white, there are shades of grey in between...I am not what people call 'woke', a little open-mindedness goes along way...Go figure
DeleteI really don’t like this man despite all the African mentality African marriages be steadily breaking. I pity his sons wife . What does he tell the men tho ? Nothing? Women in Africa are really slaves
Delete09:05, even footballers who love the game get paid for it and get tired. People who can clean and cook better than you get paid heavily for their skill. Theq same way men don't want a financial liability, women don't want a domestic handicap. Take your hypocrisy to the nearest dump.
DeleteI meant anon 09:51.
Delete@ 11.08, you will be shocked that his sons wives have nannies,maids, house keepers and even cooks.
DeleteAs a woman u should know d basis in cooking and shores..normal 9ja meals,then cleaning and taking care of d house
ReplyDeleteBut some are so lazy that even d bed they get from,they can't dress it! They rely on maids to do everything
Is this what makes a marriage tick
DeleteIt's good for a woman to know how to cook but it's not a criteria for marriage. Neither does it keep a home. But a good meal is the way to a man's heart. I think men should decide who they want to marriage based on their preferences. Some like a woman who can cook, some want women who work, intelligent and some prefer beauty. Anyways the advice his not for everyone neither is it a must for his sons.
ReplyDeleteNot every man's heart
DeleteWell a man should marry a woman who can cook the basics at least, and a woman should marry a man who can provide the basics I.e clothing, food and shelter.
ReplyDeleteIt goes both ways so none of them are tempted to look outside.
What if your basics ain’t my basics..?
DeleteHow we go do am?
Anon 9:21, if you are providing everything and I mean everything, down to rechargingthe woman's phone, money for pad, make her hair not just taking care of your kids needs alone, the. The woman has to learn to cook all you love.
DeleteBe it oha soup, okazi soup, white soup, green soup, black soup, ofada, coconut rice, bangs soup, black soup, ikokore, moimoi and so on and so forth.
Mind you, I cook none of these in my home so go figure.
Is expertise in the kitchen a guarantee that the man will never cheat on her or abandon her for another woman? Is inability to cook the leading cause of divorce and family strife?
ReplyDeleteInstead of teaching the men on how to be better sons, husbands and fathers, he's tweeting this type of nonsense
God bless you
DeleteIn most cases it is.
DeleteResearch shows that the major reason for marital strife and divorce is FINANCES. I am waiting for that sermon that would tell couples not to pay tithe but rather, invest it so they can have more financial security. How about telling women not to have anything to do with a man who is not his own landlord, does not have at least two cars and is not earning about 20 million a month. After all, the man that wrote Proverbs 31 was so rich the whole world knew it.
DeleteMost cases keh! The opposite is the case. In many homes the women are doing everything including providing the upkeep for the family, while the men are chasing around with their forward pointing pens.
DeleteMy daughters, don't marry a man who isn't rich. He needs to have money for family vacations abroad at least twice a year and provide you financial security because you cannot be spending your money all the time.
ReplyDeleteShikena
Shikena.
hahahahahaha abi na
DeleteGbam
DeleteIndeed, this is the word of the lord. Thanks be to God. 🙏
DeleteYouTube is my friend 😊
ReplyDeleteI don't agree with him and I don't have to.
ReplyDeleteEvery day, we hear news on DVs, rape and infidelity perpetuated by men and this is the advice he sees to tweet?
ReplyDeleteWell, he's right. Biblical or not, a woman must at least know how to cook and keep her home clean. She may not be the best chef in the world but making an attempt is a welcome development. I know some women will say "wives not slaves" but a sensible woman should know what to do. That's why they go around slaving innocent people all in the name of house help...
ReplyDeleteAnd where does this leave the man
DeleteYou are correct.. A woman of marriageable age doesnt know how to cook but expect to be married into someones house..
DeleteThese are thesame women who would abuse their brother's wife who cant prepare same meal.
The so called slaves as you call them are still left by their husbands to pursue side chickens and side hens. Go figure.......
DeleteA man who is a cheat will cheat regardless.
Childish and outdated talk. Gone are days when women take their place in the kitchen. Good f^ck will correct your sons' brains.
ReplyDeleteYour head dey dia
DeleteWhy are we making marriage seem like female slavery? Both of them should know how to cook and do chores It goes both ways.
ReplyDeleteIf you consider your duty to cook as slavery, then stay in your fathers house.
DeleteAfterall no one is driving you out.
COOKING IS NOT A WOMAN'S THING!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou learn to cook for your own survival and peace.
That's how my brother some years back got into the university and asked me to plead with his female neighbour to help him cook,I did speak with her but also told her to charge him for it.Now we have tutorials on phone about how/what to cook.
Ofcourse it is different if a woman intentionally refuses to cook but there are some who growing up were never allowed into the kitchen because their parents loved them too much to 'stress' them. Still you see them willing to learn in their hubby's home.
I'm sure a man who can cook too won't be stressing himself about a woman who can't because he will be willing to teach the one he loves who falls short in that aspect.
PARENTS TEACH YOUR CHILDREN EQUALLY HOW TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR HOMES.YES I'M SHOUTING.WE HAVE TERRIBLY RAISED MEN WITH ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY ROAMING THE STREETS.
Lol.. this whole cooking ish is beginning to sound like a broken record really. Plus those set in their ways can’t hear this no matter how loud you scream..
Delete“ Cooking is a basic survival skill. You wanna survive?? Learn how to cook”.. That’s a mural on the wall of our kitchen.. a gentle reminder that hunger is gender blind..
Wow! My namesake and you wrote my exact thought on this!
DeleteMy sister's only son started helping in the kitchen at 9. By 18 he was schooling in UK and living alone so cooking and chores came natural. Every relation and friend he visited in UK were wowed by his home training, discipline and calmness.
He's done with school, was retained where he interned because of these very qualities and more. He still cooks and cleans as ever.
TRAIN UP A CHILD IN THE WAY HE SHOULD, WHEN HE GROWS, HE WILL NEVER DEPART FROM IT.
I like that,will put one on my wall too.
DeleteHunger is really gender blind sis,I tire for this kain talk.
There is nothing wrong with what he said. Women should know how to cook.. men should also know how to cook. But the greater responsibility lies on the woman to cook and care for her household.
DeleteSo myopic
DeleteOkay, Yellow flower and 09:52, y'all made sense.
DeleteExactly! Cooking is a basic survival skill not a duty. Everyone should know how to cook. If a man lives abroad with his wife and kids. No nearby relatives and no help from anyway. one day the wife falls ill and is hospitalized. Who would cook and care for the kids?
DeleteA man should know how to cook and clean for his own good cus your wife will not always be there to mummy you.
Sex is like exercise.. to keep my body in shape..
ReplyDeleteFood is as fuel.. Something to power my body..
And just as rampant as a gas station or gymnasium could be, we still have preferences, favorites..
I don’t even worry bout whether a woman is more than cooking or whatever, if as an individual(male or female)You don’t like that I cook when I want, it’s your cup of worry.. These issues are too banal to disrupt my life..
Sir please, your next Quote 79 should be, "Ladies please, do not marry any man that cannot provide for all your financial needs and your children's , build you a house and foot all the bills in the house because it's is his responsibility as the head of the home."
ReplyDeletePlease, what if a man loves to cook, cooks well and prefers to cook?
What if another man works from home, has more time than the lady who works a 9-5 job?
What if the man loves to cook and door chores with his wife?
Anybody can do chores.
Parents of his generation raised sons not to sweep, clean, wash and make their beds while the daughters were trained to slave away and pick up after them. The result is highly inconsiderate husbands of today.
See, this type of advice could encourage men to have a rigid mindset and ruin relationships.
Sir, please some women cook the best meals but are not so good in other areas.
Some women do not cook at all and are wonderful in other areas.
I cook well but rarely do because all my life I've been surrounded by people who love to cook. I'm super organized and love to keep things in order. I also like to do my chores at my own pace or pay people to get some chores done for me. I accomplish things by sheer determination and discipline not stamina (which I don't have).
Folks, do what works best for you.
*do* chores (pardon the typo)
DeleteGood one!
DeleteKamikaze wouldnt like this.
ReplyDeleteStellz, let me explain it this way. In law, we have the ratio decidendi and the obiter dictum. Ratio decidendi is the rule of law on which judicial decisions are made. When a ratio decidendi is made by the supreme court, it trickles down to all other courts as case law. Whether the presiding judges of the lower courts like it or not, they are bound by it. The obiter dictum, on the other hand, is the opinion of a judge which is not binding or recognized as law. It is purely based on the mindset of a particular judge which his other brother judges may not agree with but he is still allowed to express it.
ReplyDeleteWhat pastor Adeboye has expressed can be regarded as an obiter dictum, his personal opinion which doesn't necessarily need Biblical quotations. It is merely an advice which is not a law nor a Biblical principle that must be followed. If your pastor advises ladies to wash their undies with hot water, or brush their teeth at least twice a day, for example, you wouldn't need a Biblical quotation for that, would you? Just because a piece of advice has no Biblical quotation doesn't mean it isn't sound. However when it comes to doctrines or laws which a pastor insists his congregants should follow, it must be anchored on Biblical quotations or scriptures.
I don't agree with pastor Adeboye on this issue but I understand his perspective. Remember, he is old school and his mentality is set. His wife prepares all his meals and he has seen the positives of a wife preparing her husband's meals. I, on the other hand, wouldn't tell my son not to marry the love of his life solely because she can't cook. I will personally volunteer to offer her a crash course on art of cooking and even give her some of my secret recipes and other tips I know would blow my son's mind.
There are men who are wealthy enough to hire chefs, cooks or both and they don't mind having a wife who can not cook. Such men wouldn't take this advice because it doesn't apply to them. We are blessed to have a professional chef and a couple of cooks but when I'm less preoccupied, I prepare my hubby's meals or at least supervise the preparation. Hubby sees it like I'm stressing myself but I see how he smiles when I prepare his meals, so I do it to make him happy. People should do what works for their individual households. Pastor Adeboye's opinion is merely a fatherly advice, it mustn't be accepted hook, line and sinker if you don't agree with it. I don't do all my mum advises me to do, anyway.
I like how you didn't agree or disagree. Knowing how to cook is an advantage be you male,or female but regardless marry for the sole reason of love. Nice one. 09:45 👇please read and understand. You lack basic knowledge
DeleteSo much sense made Ronald, are you a new blog visitor? Ive never seen you on this blog.
DeleteRonalda, my angel.
DeleteRonalda😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍, too much wisdom..... Reading through all the arguments till I got to yours,I was just shaking my head!!! Thank God for the breathe of fresh air your comment brought 🤗🤗
DeleteMacbeth, you're obviously a very new BV!!! Loool
People are forming woke and even insulting the man for posting his opinion/advice. Does he not have a right to advice his followers or congregation as an individual or pastor? What's the evil in what he said? He didn't say bible said or God said. It's an advice. (His sons)will either take it or leave it. Nothing wrong with marrying a woman or man who can cook, is there?
ReplyDeleteThe ish is that that very statement can cause problems in some homes. You may not agree, but it is fact. What works for everyone is different, esp in today's times. The survival skill is to be able to adapt to the changes life throws at you, irrespective of gender and learning to compromise as necessary for peace and progress, rather than maintaining a rigid stance. And who abused the man of God? Or is disagreeing with his statement abuse?
Deletehe never said woman or man , he specifically said woman. Anyway like he said his sons, not my cup of tea. such people are far from my daughters hopefully.
DeleteGod bless you Ronalda. Someone is advising his sons and some funny people are having opinion. Who forced you to take the advice? And who is stopping your father from advising you? I dont blame you. When the education system has been so eroded that simple comprehension is now rocket science for most. Mtchew!!
ReplyDeleteLol..I think you need the blessing more than Ronalda though but then what do I know..
DeleteA sentence started with my son and the floodgates open. I know my own father and will never give one second thought or attention to advice from another person's father. But then it still boils down to comprehension!!
Deletehis sons on Instagram...shio. so hes papa Instagram abi
DeleteI know women who don't know how to cook yet their husbands treat them like gold and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteI believe ALL (men and women) should know how to cook and do chores even if you're a millionaire so you know how to take care of yourself if the resources are not there.
Sir, men still go out a lot to eat and drink with their buddies... even when they cannot afford it. 😄
ReplyDeleteSometimes, the buddies take turns in paying.
I cannot even marry a man that cannot cook or do chores myself. So do what makes you happy in marriage. No manual for marriage.
ReplyDeleteI disagree with this statement. Everybody should learn how to cook irrespective of who you are. If the woman does not contribute to the home, then I can say she should be cooking as her contribution. But now when she contribute to the income of the home. When God created man, He then went ahead to create an help mate for the man. Women are helpmate and not house help, cook or men’s inferior. It is good if a woman knows how to cook buy it is not a criteria for marriage. We keep adding to the Bible. If I have to be just a cook and take care of the home then my husband should be ready to be the only financial contributor of the family. Sometimes I really don’t understand what men want, if you go out to work, they accuse you. If you stay at home yo take care of the home, they say you are too lazy and that all you know is to eat and start comparing you with their friend’s wives
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSome people who have (or borrow) a platform fail to realise that not every message is for everyone under the sound of your voice. And that's how even with good intentions, even wo/men of God lead people into unnecessary bondage. A lot of people are used to messy behaviour from the pulpit - which is why many cry and wail when I specifically add caveat of "This isn't for everyone and shouting Amen will not make it so" to my posts.
DeleteIt doesn't help that a lot of people don't really know where their culture ends and where God starts. So, some messages are actually from culture.
Did I say women shouldn't know how to cook? No. A human being should know how to cook cos a) it's a basic survival skill and b) no gender came to this world to slave for the other.
But then, what does cooking mean? Cos (for instance) an Igbo lady will think she's dope in the kitchen and everyone she has met affirms that. Till she marries a Yoruba or Edo man and fight will start cos story will be "she doesn't know how to cook". Just like a health freak whose idea of breakfast is green juice and lunch is a sandwich will cry that her husband is terrorising her cos he wants jollof rice or yam porridge.
Having said that, people have different problems in life. A man who is looking for a cook cannot marry certain kinds of women. There are men for whom cooking cannot be your selling point, else you no go marry. All blue jeans trousers are not the same. If you marry a man who is so rich that he has a personal chef who is trained in local and international cuisine living in his boys' quarters and you think that your ability to cook edikaikong three different ways is where your wife materialness is - you will be crying everyday. Cos oga ain't about to sack his chef. So, you'd better be useful elsewhere.
The problem with the advice given is the refusal to take into consideration that what makes one man go gaga is what another won't even notice. So, he's now (I hope unintentionally) putting women under pressure to fit a mould that they think all men are looking for. Even the men will start thinking something is wrong with them if they're not looking for cooking skills. And that's how some will miss their divinely ordained spouse.
My husband and I never talked about cooking till after we got married. And even when I wasn't yet married, I kept hearing comments from people about how I look like someone who doesn't know how to cook. I don't know how people that know how to cook, look. Maybe those ones use pepper to do lipstick, turmeric as face powder and vegetable as hairpin. Since it's now written on the face. What a lot of people don't know is that I actually a) attended catering school before university cos I was fascinated with menus from around the world, and b) own not less than 20 cookery books (Mediterranean, Indian, Chinese, Mexican, Spanish, Italian, etc.) Till we got married and started living together, my husband had no reason to know. No, I don't cook everyday. We have people for that. And my husband somehow thinks it's a disturbance for me. He says he doesn't expect me to return from work or a trip and start cooking. Plus when I do cook, I don't want to spend all day in the kitchen. Yes, we still eat out and order in. Yet, there are times when he goes, "Babe, I'm so worried. I just need to hear you say that I did the right thing and X,Y,Z will pay off though it looks bad." Imagine such a man looking for cooking skills as the most important thing in a wife. Lol.
I support him, Most ladies nowadays only know how to slay without knowing anything about being a woman. .ndi feminists, please I don't want to see you under my comment ok. ..MYB
ReplyDeleteMen of these days prefare eating out
DeleteBecause of women who can't cook, my man doesn't eat out whenever I'm around cause he likes my food...cooking should not be something to argue over , I see it as no big deal to cook for anyone as I enjoy cooking, only those that don't know how to cook won't like this
Deletepoor people mentality...cook this and that. Anyway for someone like me that aspire to be a first lady...that ain't my problem
DeleteLol so if a woman is kind, decent, hardworking and respectful BUT cooking is not her thing, don't marry her? These old people sef.
ReplyDeleteIdeally, EVERYONE should know how to cook: male or female. This is for HEALTH purposes. There are so many harmful substances in fast food, such as MSG and all those spices. Unless you want to tell me you buy salad everyday,you really don't know what these people cook with. The rise in junk food has given way to the rise in diabetes, hypertension, obesity and so on. If a man lives alone, is he going to buy fast food everyday? Come on! That's why I'm teaching both my son and daughter to cook healthy.
Most women today are career women. You can't expect someone to go and work 9 hours a day, sometimes on weekends too (for those with shops) and then come and stand on their feet and cook. Pastor is from an era where women stayed at home. I'll bet Mama Adeboye was a housewife. The realistic thing to do is either to cook together to last the whole week (on weekends) OR to get someone to help you. A lot of married men cook these days.
Even the ones whose parents can not even look at the mans face or speak to him without reverence are here abusing him for stating his own opinion.
ReplyDeleteMen are great cooks and methodical if you allow them to cook. My brothers are great at cooking. So eating at their place is fun on a great leavel. GO this is 2020 - Are there few men cooking on TV?
ReplyDeleteCooking is not gender based....
My brothers are great cooks too. My older brother taught me how to cook. But anytime we're together, I cook.
DeleteIf only cooking will keep most home, I'm sure we won't have the amount of chronicles. Many women do this and more yet ihe na Eve ka na ebe
ReplyDelete