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Sunday, March 01, 2020

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative......

Hmmmmmm.......










STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

COMMUNICATING WITH AN EX



Good day Stella and Bvs, please I need your advice. 

My boyfriend and I have known each other for a long time now and just last year we decided to take it further by dating. 


He is a great guy and very supportive too but the only problem I have with him is that he still communicates with his ex like almost every day.There was a time I snooped and read their chats, they're always trying to know what's going on with each other. What's hurting me the most is that he initiates the conversation.


 I talked to him about it and he gave me his phone to go through the chats that there's nothing incriminating and they're just good friends. I have always made my stand known to him that an ex should be an ex and that he shouldn't be constantly communicating with her.


 I'm really not comfortable with it because old flames could spark at anytime. Please, I need your advice on what to do as we are trying to tie the knot this year.



A man that wants to cheat will cheat my dear....
He is probably still a little in love with her.......chai!!!
My dear let him be,better the sparks fly before you marry him than after..it will help you in making decisions...

51 comments:

  1. There are some Ex that you stay in touch with not because of love or any hidden motives.Its just the vibes,friendship and circumstances that lead to the break up.Not all relationships lead to marriage and we can’t burn all cables because we dated in the past.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Babe stop hanging on.move

      Delete
    2. Exactly my thoughts..bits bn over 12 yrs 7yrs we dated n we still communicate without any old flames. Intact I know almost everytin going on in his life. M married thou.

      Delete
    3. Same with me.
      I'm married and still communicate with my ex,before we broke up,we spoke and knew that the relationship wont go further because of his mom,so we broke it off.
      I'm married and so,is he but we just say hello hello, I wish him happy birthday, Anniversary or just on the surface greetings with boundaries.
      Continue to discuss with your man and keep your eyes opened so you won't be surprised.

      Delete
    4. It's an entirely different ball game when they still communicate almost every day!! Something is wrong somewhere, poster be very vigilant.

      Delete
    5. I am a married woman. I blocked all communication with all d ex I ever had. Recently I opened communication with only 1, we had a lot of chemistry, and always wished we ended up together. He is very generous and caring, though he makes it known to me that it is his greatest desire to gbansh me, since we never gbanshed while dating then. Me I know I wont gbansh him, but can't help but feel incredibly attracted to him. Now my husband's flaws are more obvious to me and I don't feel always as happy in my marriage as I used to be, even tho I have several extra monies in my account. Bottom line, do not underestimate exs!

      Delete
    6. Anon 22:17,so you dont believe talking to you EX and getting money from him is DANGER to your marriage?you are attracted to him and noticing your husband's flaws more and you think you might not gbensh him?its just a matter of time sis!!

      Delete
  2. Let him go and meet the ex na.... Yeye dey smell๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

    ReplyDelete
  3. Someone must initiate chats. It doesn't matter who does.
    I am friends with some of my ex's and there's nothing more to it. It's just friendship, that's it.
    But since there's nothing that suggests flirting, renewal of sex between them, chill.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Why do you guys always concerned about one ex somewhere.
    Why not live your life and stop bothering yourself with thing that didn't concern you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep quite . If na woman matter na. E go dey run up and down like Christmas chicken wey dem cut e head commot

      Delete
  5. It is raining in Abuja and this first rain kinda makes me horny.

    My ex is married...

    Konji that doesn't kill you will only get stronger

    Chronicle poster, there's some leftover biz he wants to conclude if he's the one always initiating convo

    be on your guard, assuming ex is dating and breaks up with la boo, panti scatter

    ReplyDelete
  6. I would be worried too if I were you. If he cared and values you, he should take your concerns seriously and limit communication with his ex.

    I'm with the group that believes there should be nothing like friendship between exes.

    ReplyDelete
  7. If the ex is married, then no cause for alarm. If she is still single, consider leaving them alone with their Okafor's formula abi na Okafor's law? Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Single or married changes nothing; there are singles who would never do stuff that some married people do with ease my dear, it's all about principles...

      Delete
    2. Story
      Marriage doesn’t stop anything

      Delete
  8. The ex-winch or winch ex?
    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  9. Sweetheart, I have heard, seen and read a plethora of stories where an "ex" was the active 3rd wheel in the new relationship. One thing all the stories have in common is, the new relationship eventually went south. A couple of them endured till marriage stage but still ended in divorce. It is never a good sign when a guy is still active enough in the life of his "ex", that they still communicate EVERYDAY. She obviously has no respect for you as the new girlfriend. As painful as this may sound, you may just be the rebound chic.

    Please, don't be fool by talks about marriage. I know a guy who rushed to get married just so he could get over his ex. Guess what, darling? He still couldn't get over her. After 2 children and several years of competing with the ex for the guy's affections, the wife filed for divorce.

    Their chats may seem innocent, but what does it say about a guy who has a new girl whom he claims he wants to marry but still communicates with his ex? It shows they still have a bond he treasures. Shouldn't he be all excited to have you in his life that the ex should be an insignificant factor? How can you honestly plan the future while holding on to the past?

    Sweetie, if he truly loves you, you shouldn't even have to ask, the ex will remain what she is, an EX! The audacious move of showing you their chats because they are harmless, is impious, to be honest. Why should that even come up? Why should he be in constant communication with her and feel that you should be okay with it because the chats are not incriminating? If a guy isn't scared of losing you and feels that his relationship with his ex is more important than your happiness, perhaps you are the "other woman" in that relationship. It's not about snagging the ring, a lot of wives are the other women while the love of their men's lives are exes turned mistresses. Why settle for the ring when someone else, clearly, has his heart? Please reevaluate your position in this relationship before you make one of the biggest mistakes of your life.
    e-hugs and kisses.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it depends on the man's principles or values. Some exes have to still maintain contact because they are good friends, share a business, workplace, friends, kids or something else in common. If your man is a cheat he will cheat regardless, and not necessarily with the ex. Just know the man you want to marry poster.

      Delete
    2. Abeg poster MOVE NOW. That was how my ex boyfriend and his ex do call and chat(it was the girl that do the callings in my presence though) and my boyfriend will be chanting "this girl is disturbing my life" me too go kpem cos he always dropped her calls. Now they are back together and me I've already left when the ovation was still loud. Local lady cannot can jare.

      Delete
    3. Couldn't even wait to finish this your long easy, why will you say the Ex does not have respect for her? What is her business? What about the boyfriend that knows the right thing to do? Pass, let's think right..Had an Ex I loved, we were talking even after the relationship but when he got another girl he stopped all the communications and am very fine with that. So in this case, the guy should be one person to be blamed here..pls leave the girl alone

      Delete
  10. I am conflicted about what to say to you, because I remain friends with some of my ex. I communicate with them as friends (mostly via calls & social media). I have no intention to meet up physically for laughs or drinks or anything. If we meet coincidentally anywhere, there's no hard feelings. We cannot cut out certain people just because we dated them and broke up, some are very good motivators, business planners e.t.c. However, I make sure it is done with respect to my relationship and theirs. If an ex is initiating small talk too often, I either ignore for some time or make the conversation all about his relationship and how to take care of his woman. The conversation will be so one sided he will get the cue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it depends on the man's principles or values. Some exes have to still maintain contact because they are good friends, share a business, workplace, friends, kids or something else in common. If your man is a cheat he will cheat regardless, and not necessarily with the ex. Just know the man you want to marry poster. This kind of situation is not always black or white.

      Delete
  11. This just broke my relationship. He wouldn't stop communicating with her even knowing that he could lose me. He is just waiting for her to give him green light myself friendship with ex's 95percent is never as plain at it seems. Give him an ultimatum and ask him How he feels if you entertained your ex

    ReplyDelete
  12. Considering that he's the one who initiates the conversation, I honestly you have a calm conversation with him. Explain to him that you're not comfortable with his conversations with his ex. Ask him how he'll react if he finds out you're initiating conversations with an ex and you chat everyday. If he keeps insisting there's nothing wrong, tell him as he sees nothing wrong with it, it's better you call off the relationship as you don't see it ending well because of this issue. His reaction will tell you your next step.

    It's better it ends now than months or years later because of that ex. I've been in a situationship similar to yours. He claimed they were over. They are married today. They came back together when I thought I was in a relationship. Turned out I was dating myself. I wish he had just admitted he had feelings for her from the beginning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 16:22, same as mine the difference is that they are not married yet.

      Delete
  13. So let me get, he should totally cut of all ties with his ex. No calls, no chats, no greetings, nothing at all, no matter how innocent.

    Assuming you said he always flirts with her,or you get the vibe that he's cheating, it would have been a different thing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who knows what they are doing behind? Abeg. Any relationship I'm entering into now, I no wan hear any connection with the ex.

      Delete
    2. Yes. Cut an ex off completely. I belong to that school of thought. If you were so good together, why become exes.
      Exes should stay in the past where they belong.
      Any relationship with the opposite sex that I cannot discuss comfortably with my husband, as far as I'm concerned, is infidelity.
      No other man, most of all an ex should be a distraction.
      Besides, I doubt if my spouse will be comfortable with it. Why cause wahala for yourself.
      Nobody should tempt the devil.

      Delete
  14. All of you communicating with exes while in a new relationship are all cheating.trust me, the stories never ended well.if you so attached to your exes, why the break up? If I find my lady chatting with an ex..that relationship is over.you lots are too desperate to the point you allow nonsense.why should an ex be actively involve with you? What for ? Like serious?

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't think she has a problem with his communication with his ex but everyday, that's a no no biko. Everything in moderation. He can still say hi to his ex once in awhile but doing it everyday speaks volumes

    ReplyDelete
  16. Please, the bvs that support the guy should put themselves in the poster's shoes.
    He iniates those chats and that's a daily thing!

    Why is that guy in a relationship with the poster in the first place when his attention goes to his ex? That's fraudulent!

    What you love, you cherish and what you cherish takes up your attention and care.

    Think about it, our God said you cannot have any other God besides Him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *initiates* (pardon the typo)

      Delete
  17. You cannot serve two Masters at the same time. You either love one or hate the other.

    The guy does not love the poster.

    ReplyDelete
  18. If he says its innocent, no strings attached then he should introduce you to the ex girlfriend.
    My opinion though.
    Not stalking both of them, but get involved in this friendship too. Shey its innocent, let's all innocent together.
    But if you can't deal please walk away. You feel and know it better

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why sign up for an unpaid job? The guy seems to be using the poster to get his ex jealous enough to resume the relationship they had. Injecting herself as a third wheel will only cheapen her in the girl's eyes and give the true couple more to talk about. They'll keep analyzing her till she has malariaor at least she'll keep thinking they are and that wout frustrate the relationship. The boyfriend will be talking her down on front of his real girlfriend and judging her harshly while the real girlfriend is not there. He'll be so concerned about the opinion of his real girl that he'll scrutinize her jokes and comments all the time then gaslight her for thinking something is wrong. Chatting EVERYDAY? being the FIRST to initiate conversation? He seems to have picked a side.

      Poster, it seems you've lost this one. You may even get married but unless the lady moves on, oga will forever be looking outside and comparing notes. He's not crazy enough about you for you to go crazy about him and his woman.

      Delete
  19. Poster your bf is still into his ex. Take it or leave it you may become the side chick soon.

    When you start paying serious attention to another person outside your relationship that is cheating. Cheating starts at the point you give attention to an ex.

    Discuss with your bf, he should understand you are not comfortable with his constant communication with his ex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your first line, that's it ๐Ÿ‘Œ. It is either she take a walk now or she becomes side chick soon.

      Delete
  20. It's either me or your ex. It's arrant nonsense staying in touch with someone you once loved and fucked. You can bump into them at the market and say say hi, not exchanging text messages and shit. You will not be friends even with your ex's friends.

    Poster your concerns are valid. If her ex wants your man today, he will dump you and follow her. He has no respect for you, especially after telling him you are not happy with how close they are.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I'm still friends with my ex, as a matter of fact I had a training to do in his city and he offered me to stay at his, I was there for 2 weeks, guy even cooked break fast for me most morning before I go for training. We no even pass boundary,such nonsense didnt even come to our mind. I wasn't the only lady in his house o, another friend of his came from UK and she stayed there too. I feel it has to do with discipline, you can be friends with your ex without been intimate

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you would be this jaunty when your fiancรฉ or bf hosts his ex in his house.

      What you didn't say is if this your ex is presently in any relationship.

      Delete
  22. I'm friends with my ex and we talk every other day. He even helped with a tough work assignment the other day and offered to pay for my trip to UK not long ago. He loves his wife and kid dearly and we are just friends. I think you should trust your man and if you dont then leave. A man will cheat of he wants to cheat regardless

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When your husband does same for his ex, don't post any chronicles here.

      Delete
    2. Some women are bold sha. A married ex offered to pay for your trip!! Hmm. So you see nothing wrong in a married man spending part of his family budget on you? Madam you are having an emotional affair with this man. He will still come back to tap you like a wine tapper.

      Delete
  23. Poster better use ur tongue to count ur teeth, there is nothing innocent about that friendship better start looking else where

    ReplyDelete
  24. shuu so you talk to your married ex every other day and he offered to pay for your UK trip๐Ÿ™„weldone ma

    ReplyDelete
  25. Poster, that guy is just using you to pass time.Know this,when he fully ignites his love for the ex, you automatically becomes the sidechick.Ignore him as you have already confronted him and he said nothing emotional,just try to make friends with other guys,probably your attention towards him will reduce and see how it goes. Just keep watching your back,don't complain anymore o,that is how I do mine and don't beat your chest that you,ve seen a date.Whatever comes out of it ,try to accept it.I am just telling you this to get prepared for the outcome cos is so obvious he is still in Love with the ex by constantly speaking with her.Note ps *do not stay long waiting for the outcome, take a step when due.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Let him know how it makes you feel and give it time to die down....if it doesn't......!!
    The everyday not occasionally is the not so nice part!;

    ReplyDelete
  27. nothing wrong in communicating with an ex once in a while if you did not part as enemies...but in this case its 1) almost daily chats 2)he initiates the conversation 3) knowing everything in each others lives, these 3 in my opinion is a red flag and sparks can still fly if they meet. you have made your feeling known sha keep your eyes and ears open make dem no do you abracadabra.

    ReplyDelete

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